TLW (1953-) Angry God

TLW Speaks: Philosophical Gems Produced When Not Historyscoping

By T.L. Winslow (TLW), the Historyscoper (tm)

© Copyright by T.L. Winslow. All Rights Reserved.

Last Update: Aug. 11, 2016.


Permission to reprint granted provided that proper credit is given.



"Man can never know the past (other than his own personal history, which is remembered imperfectly), only investigate the present with various tools and compose fiction about it under various assumptions." - TLW

"Fiction is man's judgment on God, the present is God's judgment on man, Time is God's supremacy over man, and history is the Devil's attempt to frame God?" - TLW

"It's easy sometimes to pretend that all history is fiction and head games. Too bad, you're here in the first place because of it, so to deny it is to guess what?" - TLW

"The Great Track of Time is a literary train ride through the jungle of history, allowing you to view it all out the window while maybe enjoying a drink in the dining car. If you feel the urge, you can stop the train and venture out into the wilds on your own, but after you run out of food and water, bug spray and ammo, you'll be glad to return to the safety and comfort of the train to continue on your journey to other parts down the track." - TLW

"When it comes to history, it's all about facts and details. You can't fake it. You either know something or you'll full of it. Never fear, until you die, you still have the chance to really learn it. Welcome to History King, can I take your order? Look what I'm learning today, this is just the beginning of happy-go-fun day, see, we have plenty of time for clowning around." - TLW

"We are born not knowing history, but don't have to die not knowing history. We spend much of our lives assimilating our language, customs and culture, all full of contradictions, and based on shed blood. The study of history can help us find out where each contradiction might have come from, and help us straighten it out intellectually, giving us some chance of breaking free. Too bad that some history is truth, while some is trick, like the Sound of Music starring Baron von Trap." - TLW

"History is above all about human governments, about who runs the world order. Too bad, all governments are run by Satan during time of war, and he is always the winner, enjoying the filling of hell (grave) with the kills, with people all disobeying God's commandments. And when the war is over it doesn't matter which government won, since all sides lost by selling out, and are under Satan's control afterward. After all, only Satan needs men to fight for him, as God is able to do his own fighting. And what are they fighting for except their own stinking lusts and appetites? So are you smarter than a fifth grader? Once you end up dead it didn't matter which side you fought on anymore, except to the governments. No war ever wipes all people out, since Satan needs live people to worship and serve him through his puppet governments, as the fairy tale that he rules a kingdom of the dead is his own B.S., and it's the living that the real fight is over. He wants to rule us all, and our seed, forever, even if temporarily behind some kind of mask, and that's why it's all about human organizations, especially governments, and controlling them. That's why in all big human organizations the top dogs secretly sell out and worship him, perhaps under the deception of an angel of light, and attempt to deceive the people under them with the illusion that they are joining God's organization and that the top dogs are the bridge to him. Some even believe that Satan is working for God too. What keeps the world from totally serving Satan is the same little people, who can only be persuaded to go with an evil organization by deception, and in the main, up to now - oh I don't know why, something's closing in, I can't do a thing - only so far." - TLW

"Before the advent of the Internet and the World Wide Web with nifty Google, studying history involved reading through paper-based materials, which was hampered by lack of electronic search capability, and even more by the sheer cost of access to rare and hard-to-find manuscripts, books, charts, maps, artwork, etc., which made them available only to rich universities who limited access to elite academics. Now everyone with access to the Internet has access to virtually all of the world's historical materials, so they don't need to go to a university to learn history anymore. But realistically, it's a giant murky swamp, totally unnavigable without a great big map. It took TLW to discover and pioneer the new field of Historyscoping. How did he do it? He began by using Google like a sonar, pinging zillions of times to build a map of the murky swamp so that he could safely travel without hitting a mountain or getting trapped in a blind canyon, like Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October going through them underwater canyons with a stopwatch. As the historyscope evolved through years of Googling, TLW lifted himself out of the swamp by his boostraps like in a James Bond movie, then eventually began to hover like in a helicopter, intellectually draining the swamp to see better, then began using Google more like a radar, scanning over and over and building up a topographical map of history from the air, tagging every distinguishable feature in the landscape, then trying to understand it and explain it to his readers, along with the all-important flow. After years more historyscoping, a new level was reached, more like a satellite in the sky view, which is the view you get with the current Great Track of Time, so that all readers can stand on TLW's shoulders as we all stand on the shoulders of the Internet and Google, achieving a community of historyscopers who are on top of history rather than it being on top of them, dining on it like a scrumptious smorgasboard of endless esculent treats. Bon apetit." - TLW

"The Great Track of Time doesn't have to be followed in sequence when first learning it. It's like a box of chocolates, filled with layer after layer of chunks and nuggets, caramels, nut clusters and cream centers, building up an ever more sumptuous banquet each century. That's if you can get over the problem that it's real people suffering and dying for your treats, maybe by listening to Whitney Houston sing the Star-Spangled Banner." - TLW

"To study a historyscope you have to do far more than read it, you must sponge it up, absorbing every fact, and adding the map points to your mental map, including the structure and flow. If the historyscoper did his job, the map will be complete, and you won't have to re-historyscope it." - TLW

"We are all born not knowing history, and will definitely die not knowing history, unless we get serious and study it. History is purely cerebral, like mathematics, and it's a matter of debate which field is the king of the sciences, and which the queen. Nobody is getting any younger, and every moment wasted makes the chance to learn history diminish." - TLW

"History is just a smokescreen, consisting of headlines made by the Devil, where murderers become heroes and make all the headlines, while the vast world goes on quietly working via God's love towards a final judgment and gets steadily better despite everything the Devil can do? Let's say yes. So should we just ignore history? Sorry, when the Devil makes headlines, that's news, it's important, it must be dealt with and the lessons learned, because God wants it that way." - TLW

"Is God is a baseless dream, and history has no meaning except what you give it, although lucky us, it's like there really is a God, because Good always seems to end up winning in the big picture? Will you wait to find out after you die, or take matters into your own hands now?" - TLW

"Is God in the big picture in that even though people are always oppressing and killing each other with shifting rationales, the total population keeps rising, the light of knowledge gets steadily brighter, and life gets generally more worth living? Is the Devil in the same picture in that the more people are alive, the more terrible the toll of the next war might be, and the darker and less worth living life could become for the survivors? Then why why why why? Why hasn't the worst actually happened?" - TLW

"If there really is no God then aren't we all just pieces of shit that haven't been flushed yet? Forget I said that, flush it." - TLW

"History books are often like laundered sheets, the historians having run a Maytag machine for the winning side, taking the original dirty, bloody sheets and adding Rinso, Blue Cheer, Tide, All and Clorox as needed to make it all come out clean, white, and fresh-smelling, then handing you the perfumed sheets and telling you that's your history book, while the real history has been flushed down the drain with the dirty water, leaving little more than official palace brochures strung together. Some governments would present baby diapers with binkies if they could get away with it, to keep their people trusting children who don't rock the boat. As a historyscoper I'd like to see the loser's side, because I'm big enough to handle the dirty laundry, and I may have been born a child but I don't intend to die one. What do we want? History! When do we want it? Now!" - TLW

"People are born bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, believing the world was made yesterday, and is without sin, and that life is all about them, about getting their first tit and sucking their first milk, and getting their first kiss, and losing their innocence and having their first sex and popping their cherries. And when they realize how big the world is, they are comforted by their government, who hands them their history book, which tells them that their people is the chosen people, and their land the chosen land, despite whose graves it rests on, and their way of life is worth killing and dying for, but it's so laundered that even the dumbest can smell a rat, and thus history doesn't interest them for long. But after their wee bairns (rugrats) are born, and want to suck their tit and drink their milk, and the responsibilities of life settle in, the government becomes the source of security, so when it orders them to go out and kill for it, in the name of Christ, Muhammad, the Church, the Faith, the Flag, the Holy Roman Emperor, the Fuhrer, the Party, the Motherland or Fatherland, the Race, the Ism, or some other historical rationale, who can refuse? Then when they're killed and the government sends condolences to the widows and orphans, it's too late for them to study history, and that's what they mean about always remaining a child. Maybe if they studied history first they'd tell the government to screw itself? Not that the study of history, which is filled with lies and propaganda, won't make some want to fight even more, but at least they won't die as children. Either way, the end result of a true study will be an A+, and it's never too early to start." - TLW

"Most history books suck, because they treat the past like a stale sealed terrarium, furnishing you with only a list of contents and a map of the layout to fold and put in the drawer, e.g., 'There is a daisy, and there is a petunia, and on top of that rock is a horny toad, never mind that buried stuff'. Some might even make a lame attempt to evoke the lost fragrances. But people really lived before us, and grass was just as green, and their blood was just as red and pounded just as hard, and a real historyscoper wants to look directly into the pit of Hell for himself and see the shades, on the losing as well as winning sides, crying out 'Remember me, I once lived like you. Remember me, I too lived. Don't make my mistakes. Learn from me.' And promising them, 'Okay, I'll try.' Too bad that spirits can't be trusted and we have to limit ourselves to what is in the material world, and that's why they call it history, from a Greek word meaning an investigation of the past, hopefully by a rational method, based on the intelligent use of material evidence." - TLW

"As a historyscoper I don't just study history. I am history. I really lived then. I remember it well. Has it been that long? My how time flies. It seems like only yesterday. I watched all the nightly news and read all the morning newspaper headlines back thousands of years, and met them all, saw it all, did it all. What's the matter with you young whippersnappers with peach fuzz on your cheeks? Were you just born yesterday? Of course when it's that real to you it becomes fiction? - TLW

"Everybody goes gaga over a person with a so-called photographic memory, particularly autistic savants, who perform calculations in their heads with large numbers, calculate the day of the week for any date in history, or memorize outdoor views and reconstruct them graphically. The truth is, everybody has a perfect memory that stores every experience from the womb. The problem is with the savants. They lack the higher capability that makes humans the master of the world, namely a semantic filter, the automatic power to abstract and forget, that is, build a wall between the memories that make sense and those that don't. Savants have no wall, no filter to screen out irelevant data, and there are no abstractions and nothing makes sense, making the world totally frightening from second to second. For instance, when watching a horror movie, normal people abstract from the sights and sounds and realize that it's all phony and staged in a studio, and the actors have been seen in other movies, and the music and SFX are manipulative, so it's not so terrifying, but can actually be enjoyable. When it comes to history, we want to remember everything, whether it makes sense or not? No, we want to remember only what makes sense, although a lot of it might make only a little sense, such as a name, possible location and sliding date. The GTT is the result of TLW's work at making history make sense, and to the extent he succeeds you will find it easy to remember, and when he can't make sense of it, you will naturally find it hard, unless you see how it makes sense better than he does. So, if you can make a better historyscope than TLW, be my guest. We're all in the same boat." - TLW

"Before the Historyscoper and the Great Track of Time, history textbooks didn't teach history right because they didn't help you build your memory palace first. Instead they just propped one isolated fact on another on bare ground, like when hobos build a shack, propping boards, boxes, sacks and old tires together then try to get a good night's sleep, only to have the rain leak in, and add more stuff on top till it falls of its own weight into a heap on the bare ground, making you give up and hate history, thinking of it as a mushy subject, a mass of jello, where one century is confused with another, and there is no foundation, no flow, no master view, no point. Learning history must begin by building your memory palace to store the facts in an orderly fashion, where everything has a place and there's a place for everything, with the flow accounted for, and which can be added to and improved without collapsing. That requires architectural plans, designed by a savvy architect. Unlike a real palace, though, it's not necessary to be loaded with dough. Your mind supplies all the workers and materials. Everybody is born with the same blank slate. It's about what you do with it. So let's get to work. First you need to dig a good foundation, install forms, pour concrete and let it set, then frame the mansion, with large rooms for each century, and floors for each millennium, plus aisles and stairways connecting it all together, and nice windows with great views, and above all, a good roof and tight construction to protect it from the ravages of time. You then need to add plumbing and sanitation, electrical, HVAC and other subsystems so you'll be nice and comfy, and finish the rooms with nice walls, ceilings, floors, windows, and assorted fixtures, including great knobs and faucets. After erecting the bare palace you can go to work filling it with books and papers, paintings, statues, suits of armor, photos, newsreels, and other mementoes of your historyscoping adventures, and now it's your own, ready to give tours when asked. A well-built memory palace endures throughout life, and gives every fact a place where it will never be forgotten, can't be forgotten, anymore than a sofa can sprout legs and walk out the door, and indeed, each room begs to be filled, keeps you busy filling it, you're never satisfied, there's always something else. Granted, as you go into the basement it becomes less and less finished, with murkier and murkier sub-basements, but once you're back up on the main floor you will enjoy light and order, the more the higher you go, and check out that spaceport on the roof. The only problem you need worry about as you grow older in your historyscoping is becoming a packrat and filling each room to bursting, too full to find things without some fuss, but that's a pleasant problem to have, since the young whippersnappers with peach fuzz on their cheeks will keep asking for tours if they were were raised right, giving you a chance to show off. Always go blonde before you go brunette, er, always go broad before you go deep." - TLW

"Why are retro historians all pikers? Because they spend their careers digging a gold mine with a teaspoon, which might be okay if they contented themselves with publishing some academic papers, but all too many begin pontificating to the general public, stamping the word dumbass on their own foreheads by making grand conclusions based on too few facts. A historyscoper isn't content with a teaspoon of knowledge, but wants the ocean, and knows that only the power of the Internet can give him the required jets." - TLW

"Learning history is hard for some and easy for others. Why? It's like learning to play the piano. If you just sit down and start hitting keys, you will produce noise, but no music. To produce music you must first learn the 8 notes and 88 keys, and what they do, and how the piano wants to be played, and how easy it is once you understand it and approach it from the right direction. In a short time the piano will make sense, and you will just play, and spend your life perfecting your style and achieving creativity. But you have to learn from a piano player, not from a professional piano teacher, because the latter wants you to pay, and pay, and pay, and never teaches you how to play, or else you'd quit paying, right? Surprise! After ten years of lessons they tell you that you're ready to go get a job with a classical orchestra and play a bunch of moldy crap, when all you wanted to do was have fun at the keyboard and rock a few parties with pop hits. So it is with history. Do you want to become a professional historian or history teacher, a part of academia, or just a rockin' sockin' historyscoper that has a good idea where you came from but keeps your personal options open? That's why you need to come to TLW and his GTT first. Okay, with history there's a lot more than 88 keys, so what? They still don't have a spray that reverses the aging process, so are you with me, or do you want to die a child?" - TLW

"But history is a black art like magic? Too true, it used to be that way. Like professional magicians, professional historians had to join a union that enforced a code of silence on how the tricks are done. All professional magicians make their living by shameless fraud, deception, and barefaced lying, and there is no greater threat to their income than public exposure. When they tell you to look up, you need to look down, and when they tell you to not look, you better look, and even when they show something right to you, and beckon you to look, they're relying on you having the word 'dumbass' stamped on your forehead. Like when they saw the lady in half and show you the split box complete with the trap doors in place after spending their time proving that the saw is real. The lady who plays the poor victim then gets her cut of the receipts for folding up her legs, pushing out the false legs, and shutting the trap doors before the real saw cuts through the thin air between them, relying on the audience having you know what stamped on their foreheads. When it comes to professional history teachers, I won't go there, I'll remain silent but deadly on this problem until the pressure's off?" - TLW

"So you admit you were born knowing no history, and don't want to die knowing no history, and would like to learn where you came from without paying psychics for made-up crap? The moment you feel that way is the moment when you fall in love with you? Too bad, it's ended before it's begun, because studying history without help is frightening, impossible, so it's inevitably a group activity, like speeding along in the back seat of a big bus with everybody else while pushing our foreheads up against the back windows to see where we've been, only there are no windows, so we have to listen to the radio and read the newspapers? And don't even ask who's driving or why the forward-facing windows are blocked? That doesn't stop me from trying to become a historyscoper, and even philosophizing on history when I feel the moment, but it does keep me humble and well aware of what I'm full of, always eager to read alternate histories, although I insist on my equal rights to form and express opinions and try to get a bigger audience." - TLW

"What does it mean to learn where you came from? Does it mean tracing your family tree? That might help a little, but a list of names and dates is stale without immersing yourself in the milieus of each, studying the GTT from Creation to the present to see how you were built, atom by atom, molecule by molecule, from previous people far and wide along the GTT, not just from their genes, but from their deeds and experiences and thoughts and corporate and governmental activities, hopefully gaining new respect for and embracing their differences without spending so much time checking their family trees." - TLW

"TLW's Great Track of Time is a secular Bible, the word secular meaning that it doesn't claim to be revealed directly by a higher power, but is compiled from all available human sources (including those that do so claim, call me Ishmael). It should never be taken as gospel truth, but only as a roadmap to the terrain of history. You can then investigate further as desired, by Googling or looking in history books. It's always your call as to what weight to give conflicting data, judging it by the source, or by opinions of authorities. Or by theories of history, which are cool, if you accept that they're your new plastic dream liner, constantly making you go back over things when something doesn't fit." - TLW

"Does TLW's Historyscope often leave you with a naughty feeling, like you shouldn't be looking through that peephole in the bathroom and seeing all those people doing those private things with their asses? Don't sweat it. Those are your ancestors and you came out of their asses, and they're long gone anyway, and their privacy rights lapsed. And you're on the same track as them and your descendants will do it to you, so that makes it all right. Indeed, their shades are crying from you know where to you to learn from their mistakes so you won't repeat them." - TLW

"So you're the Historyscoper, another rookie on the make, look, I'm the top sponge around here, a scientist, since history will never achieve the certainty of science, the ultimate burger? True, science is written in mathematics, which is the most exact human language ever created, and when mathematical laws of science are formulated and verified by experiment, and the laws get to the point where numbers can be inserted, one achieves a great power over Nature. But let's not get too arrogant. Science is about the way things work, not who killed JFK. It has no way to look into the past. My faith in the ability of scientists to reconstruct the past with their equations and computers flew the coop with the Magic Bullet Theory in the JFK assassination. Scientists can only derive theories and models based on running the present backwards in time, and this is fraught with a zillion traps, too many to ever truly satisfy a historyscoper, who can't help but pull out cheat cheats such as letters, journals, treaties, video and audio tapes and other artifacts, and hope they can be accurately dated and aren't deliberate forgeries, or at least that they can surmise the hidden motives for their creation from the clues. E equals MC squared is cool, but doesn't cut it with history, because it's a timeless equation that's always the same, whereas history is about unique events, described in words, like the Devil Wears Prada, oh does he, who what why where and when? - TLW

"To study history you first need a library of historical texts, which are now available to all on the Internet. Too bad, there's so many that nobody can read them all, so somebody must work to concentrate them first. It's like a giant jigsaw puzzle that has to be put together, with the key being time, like a tiny thread running through all the pieces. Only after the puzzle is arranged can one use it to build a mental map of the Great Track of Time along with the flow and gain a workable understanding. This is what a historyscope is, a completed jigsaw puzzle prepared by a historyscoper. Different historyscopes can have different size jigsaw puzzles, but all hopefully fit into one great master historyscope that may one day be produced by the historyscoper revolution to create generations of better historyscopers." - TLW

"A historyscope is an attempt to build a picture of the past based on words, not on equations, pictures, museums of neat artifacts or even movies. Think about how much you can take in with a look, a listen, or a mathematical equation, even a computer simulation, then compare it to how much you can take in with words, the highly compressed uniquely human abstractions called words, which must be absorbed through reading, an art that will never be superseded by computers, sorry, anymore than my mother and my big tomcat. Written words are capable of capturing the important information in a scene from every conceivable angle, the essence, the gist, look that word up in your Funk & Wagnalls. Not that education should be based on reading alone. Real experience is needed or the words become dead junk, mental masturbation. A good picture can also help set the stage for the words, but even having been there is no substitute for words, ask the people who were in Dealey Plaza on the day, or try watching a TV show in a language you don't understand. The ultimate Historyscope is an optimized stream of golden words, nuggets, and bricks that program the mind with the knowledge of where everybody and everything came from and how, and wouldn't offend those who were really there with its naivete, but also takes advantage of knowing how it came out. Too bad, words come by the millions, and are symbolic speech, and even though one can read faster than one can talk there is currently no way to implant them in the mind instantly without reading, so consider it the price that must be paid to get past your child stage, unless always being a child is all you want, go ahead and keep believing in Santa Claus and sleep with the lights on. Historyscoping is about forgetting about yourself, about your immediate surroundings, and tapping into your potential for wisdom, which is based on knowledge, something that must be achieved through systematic reading of gobs of wordy word word words, and is greatly accelerated by reading materials that are written by historyscopers for historyscopers. Yes, a Historyscope, no matter how big will always be incomplete and imperfect, because it must inevitably rely on existing histories, all based on incomplete data, but without a common Historyscope for everybody to work from and share, the past will always be a murky swamp, only visible tree-by-tree, from the water level up, with each frog having his own little lily pad or branch, but nobody able to get above it in a helicopter or space ship and see it entire in all its swampy glory and groove on sharing it. Okay, a swamp has birds as well as frogs, lame analogy, but we're talking about words which span great distances in time, something humans can do and animals can't, precisely because Words Iz Us, how sweet it is, do my hair while I play the piano in the one-room schoolhouse." - TLW

"For ages the only historyscope Westerners had was the Bible, allegedly written by Jehovah, or rather, by inspired people who claimed that Jehovah moved their Ouija boards letter by letter. Too bad, he inspired a Bible full of words, not equations, how dumb of him, he's no Einstein? Einstein is okay, if you don't ask him to remember his wedding anniversaries. Yes, we need super-specialists whose heads are full of equations, but without us super-generalists who feed on words, how will anybody be able to convince the captain of the Titanic to slow down in the iceberg fields, what year was that anyway, and what month and what day, I forget?" - TLW

"A lot of history is fiction, a coverup, propaganda? The difference between history and fiction is that with history one event happened before another event, and when people who've lived through the events write them down, you say high, we say low, but at least we got a chance to work things out, using detective methods, including looking up their rap sheets, even if we can't put them on a witness stand and hire lawyers to cross-examine them. Anthropology, paleontology and cosmology aren't history, because first, there aren't any human witnesses leaving writings, and second, although taking the human out of the equation at first sounds like a step forward, the anthropologists and paleontologists take, what, bones or fossils, and guess which came before which, usually guided by a rule of ignorance that simple came before complex, which doesn't come in a box that says used as directed. And cosmologists take snapshot astronomical observations of the present from our tiny corner of the Universe and feed them into computerized models based on their imperfect, shifting knowledge of physics and then crank them boldly backwards and forwards in simulated megatime as if to say, anybody else want to try, public restrooms are disgusting?" - TLW

"But history is not 'there' anymore, it's always beyond our reach, so how can you all it a city at night that you can drive around in? Okay, think of it as a good map of the night sky, with all the 88 constelations laid out for your telescope. Too bad, the most interesting places are the black holes, which suck in everything around them and shed no light, let's not talk about black matter making up most of the Universe." - TLW

"Physicists cannot see back in Time, they can just construct more and more arrogant theories by running timeless mathematical equations backwards in the time variable and fooling themselves. Let's not even talk about how good the data they feed into their equations is." - TLW

"When astronomers look out into space with their telescopes, they're not looking back in Time, only collecting photons that are hitting their equipment at that time. Even when their theory says that a given photon came from a star that is 13 billion light-years away, the photon doesn't come with a birth certificate like a Cabbage Patch doll, the age is only their current theory. Even then, that would be an admission that all the history of the star for the last 13 billion years cannot be known until the photons behind it come in, which will take guess how long?" - TLW

"Some physicists like to believe they can reconstruct the entire history of the Universe, even if they can't figure out for sure who killed JFK. Sorry, physics cannot see back in Time. Go to any grave and open it up and see what's there, that's physics, the slave of Time's Arrow, which ultimately turns everything to crap, while the history fled the coup. To create a historyscope is to use the intellect to pull all the corpses out of the graveyards and put flesh back on them and make them come alive again, which physics says is impossible, so we have to settle on trying to figure out who they were and kind of what they did, using things left behind by the corpses, with the intellect always needed to supply missing details. True, we don't need to dig up every grave in the graveyard to get a good take on history, because most people lead unimportant lives. Public events having many witnesses are usually the best documented, especially if they're still living, while unique one-witness events always have big question marks attached. Of course, the laws of science are a guide, if we stick to ground rules that there never were any miracles, knock on wood. Sometimes an overall historyscope of a period of time seems vivid from a certain distance that doesn't sweat too many details, like who's buried in every graveyard and why, or what's going on behind all them closed doors. Just remember that no matter how clear or rosy the historyscope seems, the real graveyards are sitting there laughing at our feeble efforts to uncover their secrets. But to give up is to surrender to the Abyss, which we can't do, because we're the living and we own the world, right?" - TLW

"Remember that history is purely cerebral, and the people of the past were born not knowing history just like you. Worse, the history they were taught might have been a pack of moose hockey. Despite many attempts through the ages to destroy history data, the total amount and accuracy have never been greater than now, and the power of the Internet gives us jets never before available. Best of all, we are not in the grave, but enjoy living on the Butt Crack of Dawn with the Time Horizon Bunny." - TLW

"Too bad, even if you absorb everything in the Great Track of Time, and stand on TLW's shoulders, you have to face a rock hard fact, call it the Great Frustration. Despite everything we can do, the most interesting and important parts of history are always the darkest and most inscrutable, and the light shining all too abundantly on other less vital parts only serves to increase the frustration and angst, like a modern crime-ridden city street at night, filled with shining street lamps where one feels safe, along with dark alleys, where the imagination takes over. Maybe there's nothing to fear from that dark alley, but still, one wants to see as well as possible before deciding to drive down it, since you might get mugged. A broad awareness of history is like being an experienced taxi driver in the big city at night, not that the most experienced drivers don't get mugged too." - TLW

"Is the history of civilization all about the West, and is Western civilization all about the noble indomitable creative boss Aryan race, proved by their butts being whiter than Crisco? Funny how actual review of historical materials shows little awareness of the Crisco factor until 500 years ago, when peoples from isolated continents first saw each others' butts. It used to be that peoples were conquered because they had land or treasure that was easier to steal than to earn for oneself, even if the loser asses were the whiter ones, then because they were less civilized, for their own good, and not because their asses were less white but because they didn't smell as sweet, then because they were infidels and couldn't be persuaded with reason, especially them pesky backward blonde Vikings, so the sword had to be used to make them kiss the cross and save their dear color-free souls. Then along came the Allah Akbar Arabs, who believed that serial murder was the way to be saved, color being irrelevant, albeit being Arab helps when leading prayers. Only when the Euros became a global sea power did they just begin landing on foreign shores and enslaving and exterminating the natives like garbage, coming up with the satisfying cover story that the dark butts must be cleared to make way for Crisco butts, because white is always right, just check with God who made it that way when he cursed the sons of Cain with a special mark (Gen. 4:15) and condemned them to eternal slavery (Gen. 9:25)? Too bad, after whitey conquered most of the world and by their own propaganda must be just around the corner from a global paradise, they quickly descended to devils and began gleefully exterminating each other like garbage while forgetting about the many non-whites still waiting in the wings, losing any claim to a moral high ground, else they could have all united in 1914, tastefully exterminated the non-Crisco butts, covered up, and set up a nice One World Crisco Government, where everybody has peaches and cream complexions, free of all that horrible colored nappy-haired thick-lipped look, that jungle boogey music and jungle culture, and also them rat-like slimy hook-nosed Jews with their horrible science and science fiction, porno and leftist politics, not to mention their endless academies awarding statuettes for it, and even them great colored sports stars, who we can live without like we did in the days of Babe Ruth, not to mention all them !*?!* smart Asian brains just waiting to suck up our bucks and Olympic gold medals. Well, after even Hitler gave up on his Aryan race after giving them a second chance, then told it to screw itself, what's the excuse been? And what's the next excuse going to be? Check back with me after I finish watching Jesse Owens dating Heidi Klum on Jerry Springer." - TLW

"I see skies of blue, clouds of white, a bright sunny day and a warm cozy night? You know what I'd like to ask Darwin, Huxley and Haeckel? What? Ever hear of the Devil's Hall of Mirrors Trick? You are told you can see back in time if you just look deeply enough, and when you buy it you begin squinting real hard, and look into the reflection of a reflection of a reflection of a reflection, ever more and more reflections, exploring ever tinier and fuzzier regions, finally progressing to scientific instruments and mathematics, and computer simulation and analysis, requesting ever-bigger government budgets, until you dimly see the distorted features of a Neanderthal, no, an ape, no, the missing link. Guess what, sucker? It was your own face, with the word 'dumbass' stamped on your forehead. In other words, what if the Bible story of Creation and Adam and Eve is true, because the author is you know who and was really there, and the rest is Satan's triple-play bullshit?" - TLW

"Big Science has dispensed with the need to study history with its theory of the Big Bang. Sorry for them, they just don't 'get' that Science can't look back in Time and see anything. Let's take not the entire Universe but a smaller example, a closed opaque box full of billiard balls. Shake the balls up and ask the physicists to tell you the history of every ball. They can't, but that won't stop them from trying. They will open the box and examine each ball for imperfections and construct elaborate trajectories and account for each imagined collision. Too bad, you didn't tell them that you put the imperfections on the balls before you started shaking them. The same goes for the Universe. And that's just one of an infinite series of problems with physics seeing back in Time to see its history merely by extrapolating from measurements made by their feeble instruments. Of course if there was a high-speed camera inside the box, but with the Universe the only person who could be holding it is, er, God."

- TLW.

"The dream of government as the great engine of peace, prosperity, justice and charity, leveling inequalities, erasing borders and ending prejudice while fairly distributing resources would only make sense on a worldwide basis, and only after everybody became a Beatles fan with music piped into their brains, since what human government can ever be trusted? On a day-by-day basis the reality of everybody being on their own takes over, and when you make money or gain material possessions you fight for your freedom to hoard it and keep it from government theft, and naturally cite God as the justification, as long as nobody can make you think deeper thoughts or care about others? He's the kind of guy who'd give you the shirt off his back, but if you try to take it he'll kick your butt? In other words, all human governments are doomed to failure unless they can get inside people's minds and hearts, and people can reach each other and the government with their needs and desires, which is why the spread of literacy and the diffusion of knowledge through the printing press and electronic communication is such a big development." - TLW

"America, America, God shed his grace on thee? Thy mountains' majesty, the fruited plain? And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea? Until the shock of 9/11 woke them up, the people of the United States of America had little interest in history except that which has been laundered, because they live on stolen Indian land that is the spoils of genocide, and their forefathers were liars, thugs, thieves, murderers, rapists and slavemasters, posing as angels of light because of their pale skins under the White is Right uber-religion, or else slaves, which the descendants also want covered up. Meanwhile the blood of the murdered cry from the grave for justice, and Americans don't want to be reminded of it, making them highly myopic and eager to erase the history of their genocide victims along with their language, customs and culture, and just talk about the Boston Tea Party and how George Washington, the Father of His Country cracked his teeth on walnuts, and prayed three times a day kneeling in front of a chair on which sat his open Bible, and never told a lie, even when he had been bad. Too bad, this laundering tendency goes back to the beginnings of every people, who don't have such great songwriters. Not that the vanquished peoples weren't full of their own bad guys. Maybe it will all come out good in the end, keep your ears glued to the radio?" - TLW

"Is there some master message of history? Yes. Much of history is about the horrors caused by the belief that God once was having an off-day, maybe he was on the rag, and made some garbage (read non-white) people, who started breeding and take up available space and resources like vermin, but God intended that the non-garbage (read white) people have the Promised Land, not just some small strip in Israel, but everywhere white people land, so they had to become garbage collectors and clean up God's mess. God, who is Perfect and Good? No, it must have not been a mistake, it must have been on purpose. He's both God and the Devil, who wants to make the good (read white) people suffer and fight to stay clean of the pesky, ever-spreading intolerable stink or stain he created along with them, and have nightmares, and fear evil while walking in the valley of darkies and muddies. Guess what? If there is a God, he didn't make garbage, too bad Dylan missed that song. On the other hand, if you go with that Godless Evolution Theory, Father Slime definitely did make us from garbage, so I guess you'll have to ask the PC professor." - TLW

"The word r-a-c-e implies the survival-of-the-fittest theory of Darwin, and that the winners justify themselves by killing the losers, and yi yi yi let's follow the leader principle sieg heil, Heil Hitler, to hell with Hitler, send him to Hell? Racism is not really about racing any kind of race, but is really colorism, the fallacy that pink, er, white is right and black is bad, and the race shouldn't be given a chance to be run fairly in the first place because God already color-coded the outcome and awarded the ribbons. If God did the coloring, though, aren't all people created in his image, and it's his business if he delights in diversity in complexions, shapes and other qualities, and if you mess with his creation you're messing with him, not to mention flushing genes out of the gene pool that might be needed to face unforseen new circumstances, fooling with something you really don't understand, and hence we better reamalgamate the gene pool if we want to quit making him angry? Yes, white is right, as part of the amalgamated gene pool, inside every person, but only along with the rest of the rainbow, let the games begin, rally your team." - TLW

"Why, if white is so right, have white women always been saying they want a man who is tall, dark and handsome? Originally it meant dark as in tanned, but it has come to mean dark hair, skin, everything, but always on a white man, ending up with an eternal self-contradiction. If you think this is stupid, maybe you can lighten up on the white supremacy thing too?" - TLW

"Why in an age with advanced birth control and abortion technology, not to mention cloning and genetic engineering around the corner, should anybody care about old-fashioned races anymore? If the human race does go on, we will have to be able to separate having sex with reproduction. Too bad, this doesn't go with the traditional structure of monogamous marriage and family-raising, so maybe the species will separate into the married breeders and the single swingers, who live in different bedroom communities and only mix socially during waking hours. This includes hermetically-sealed communities of pre-screened sex partners, who can have mega group marriages with unlimited sex orgies 24/7, as long as they accept never leaving their communities except in space suits. The microorganisms alone keep us from naked paradise?" - TLW

"A fast solution to the race problem would be to cut off the nuts of every man on Earth and drain the sperm and put it into a Giant Vat, then stir it up and hand it out to women who want to have children. Too bad, there's too many practical obstacles, such as a little HIV or other bad microorganism infecting the entire vat and ending the human race, and the problem of men not wanting their nuts cut off and probably wanting to fight first. So its a solution that's so near and yet so far, sperm, sperm everywhere and not a drop to drink. Go do what to myself, that's what survival of the fittest is for?" - TLW

"Survival of the what? Is that like did you ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight, suckah? Is it really like God said, don't lie, steal, covet or kill, and judge not that you be not judged, and the blood of the murdered cries from the ground and God never forgets, and that's why the Devil has been trying to make us engage in conscious or unconscious restrictive breeding, to devolve us into more willing tools? For this reason Darwin's evolutionary theory makes me sick, and I have to believe that a reamalgamated de-devolutioned human gene pool is a smart idea, and survival of the fittest arguments dumber than shit." - TLW

"I don't care about abstract theories, because I'm so darned lucky to be white, and it's horrible, horrible that either God or Godless Evolution made black ass, I don't know and don't care, but either way it smells awful and you don't get used to it, and I want to keep it as far from my lily white angelic face as I can? God, if you exist, how can I ever repay your kindness, but how could you do this to little white me? Life is not worth living if black is not kept down, and it's your fault for making all the black asses in the first place, and giving me this burden, therefore I think I'll pick behind what's behind Curtain Number 2 and go with your accuser, the slanderer (Devil), the opposer (Satan), who loves to appear as an angel of light (Lucifer), and take him up on his offer to be like a god, able to judge good and bad, and do what I like, and gain the whole world for white ass like mine, there is no God and it's survival of the whitest (who must be the fittest, even if they are losing their whiteness every generation to the power of Dick Almighty?), even if I do sell out to the Prince of, er, Darkness, never mind the price, and please don't make me kiss a nigger or let one get my white daughter, although if I'm a man I might enjoy a little black sugar as long as I don't kiss and tell, and even if I do, that's okay, I can cover it up as upgrading the stock? And that mental disease isn't limited to the lucky who are born white. Those who are born black can't believe how unlucky they are, how it won't wash off, can't be bleached out, and even color-code their own people according to relative lightness of skin, the dark cocoas at the bottom, the high yellers at the top. Maybe the blacks come from a long line of people who never saw a pale sickly colorless person and really thought black was beautiful, and when she passes, each man she passes goes ahh? Who said judge not that ye be judged, Black Christ? Even when nobody's white, Satan finds a way to manufacture prejudice, such as the size of yellow women's feet, or the height of a Tutsi Roll. And let's not forget them pesky Jews, who can be hated for just about any reason, if not for skin color then for their hooked noses, thick lips, bush eyebrows and ratlike ears, and silly dress and lifestyles filled with nutso rules and regulations, and accused of conspiracy for just trying to survive and thrive." - TLW

"If Jesus Christ is really the son of God and is going to return and set everything right, therefore we don't want to fall in love with the world, why didn't he leave any written works, and why didn't he teach us all about science, mathematics, medicine and engineering to bring us up to where we are today, even the birth control pill, and save two thousand years? Why didn't he give us the personal computer, the Internet, and Google? If he was a carpenter or stoneworker, why didn't he at least teach his followers how to make printing presses to spread his words? The light bulb would have been nice? Ditto Buddha, Zoroaster, Confucius, Lao-Tse and Muhammad, although they at least didn't leave us hanging by claiming to be the son of God and to have died to save us from our sins, or that they would return and set everything right? Okay, Jesus or somebody using him as a dummy corporation left us all them Christian clones and a working instruction manual that calls itself the good news and says everything will work out all right, and that just seems to have appeared out of nowhere and spread by magic, and says we were happiest where we started, naked in Paradise, and if we hadn't blown it, wouldn't we have had all the time in the world to develop science and technology, only for the right reasons, not for greed, lust, hate and war. So either it's time to reject all of S&T, or embrace it and dump Jesus? Check back with me when the Robot Wars are over and the Clone Wars begin?" - TLW

"Talk about history being like a city street at night, with the most important parts being like dark alleys, or like the night sky, with the most important parts being like black holes? Take Adam and Eve, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad. Each is a focal point of world history, and if you believe the official cover story, history reads one way, not just during their lives but since Creation, but if you don't, it reads another way. And Muhammad doesn't even need Moses and Jesus for his cover story, just Abraham, right? But all need Adam and Eve, the original parents who introduced Original Sin, else there is nothing to save us from, no need for prophets or saviors, and let forever begin tonight, pardon my shrinkage, yada yada yada. No, it would not be about saving us anymore from the past, since we are all about the evolving future, and that's not the way the cover story writers want it to come out. So historically speaking it all boils down to the Garden of Eden. Any revolution in history will start right there, and any reactionary defense will make its stand right there. But that's already been decided, it's old hat, and God is Dead says Nietzsche? Too bad, the message of TLW's Great Track of Time is that Nietzsche is Dead says God, too, sorry, there is just no way to see back in time and know for sure. Science marches into the future, and that's its Achilles Heel when it comes to historyscoping the ever more distant past. Paradise Alley is the darkest of them all. To see inside seems beyond human capabilities, and to decide either way is an act of faith, like falling into her arms for a moonlight kiss when there is no moonlight and you're blindfolded, and you'd like to hate yourself in the morning, raise a little hell tonight. So why are you in my bed, because you like me, or what?" - TLW

"The biggest dark alleys of history are Adam and Eve, Abraham, Moses, Christ, and Muhammad (sorry they're all Middle Eastern, and none are ahem, Aryans). It's like each has an Apollo Project behind them, a literature factory filled with secretive scholars who go to great pains to cover their tracks, and use their man as a dummy corporation in order to rewrite history and start time over with year one with a sea change or new world order always resulting. These dummies, er, dummy corporation figures are always mighty lucky, divine or supernatural figures whose actions allegedly cause the new world order, from which others benefit down the line for centuries. Maybe they are too lucky, indeed, maybe none of them were real, and are just manufactured literary heroes, like J.R. Ewing in Dallas. Here's what always gives them away: If you try to study the life of the hero with your own light, from independent sources without an axe to grind, you realize you're being deliberately blocked, the cover story acting like a camouflage net, while the real witnesses on the Grassy Knoll are being told they're nuts and soon have fatal accidents. In other words, there is always a Big Dark Alley in the otherwise lighted Night Streets of History City, where a statue of the Big Dummy stands in front complete with an Holy Official Coverstory in a well-printed deluxe volume on a pedestal, but if you try to enter the alley yourself you will be killed, because it's guarded by a sword-wielding Angel of Death. So Historyscopers, limited by the coverup (which the heirs of the new world order always deny exists since that's why they peddle their official story) have to try to determine the Big Three, namely, Who Had The Power To Pull It Off, Who Benefitted, and Who Had The Power To Cover It Up, looking at events going on years or decades afterward to see who lucked out by the New World Order or Sea Change caused by the Lucky Plucker Dummy Corporation, hoping to find Dangling Strings and piece it together with Circumstantial Evidence, even though you can't ever Prove It in Court. That's the greatest challenge of a Historyscoper, trying to see what really happened despite the camouflage. Other dark alleys are abundant, for instance, Homer, Pythagoras, Buddha, Confucius, David and Solomon, Cyrus the Great, Alexander the Great, the Maccabees and the Essenes, Caesar and Augustus, Constantine the Great, Charlemagne, the Knights Templar, William the Conqueror, Columbus, King John, Henry VIII, Elizbeth I and other monarchs of England, Vlad the Impaler, Luther, Shakespeare, Cromwell, Washington, the Freemasons and the Illuminati, Napoleon, Lincoln, Disraeli, Churchill, Stalin, Hitler, Mao, and of course, our recent dead president JFK. Yet always it's about somebody wanting to rule the world but having to hide behind a dummy corporation because open exposure would kill them. So if something happens to me here's who did it: hehe." - TLW

"It's not all a mistake? So many religious people talk about God's plan. Does the Bible say that God has a plan or just a purpose, and knows the End from the Beginning because he is above Time? Does free will mean the ability to control our will, or merely the freedom to act as willed, because we are being held responsible and can't escape it? Why do so few have the ability to change their belief system and moral code, or to change it a second time? Because our minds are created in the image of God, and naturally seek an absolute truth, and think themselves into a corner? Or because evolution has a stuck gearshift? Check back with me when my carpet installer is through and I pass my heavy German Wagner singing lessons." - TLW

"The discovery of electromagnetism must inevitably lead to the world becoming a Knowledge Club, with unlimited knowledge available to every person for free, giving all the chance to have interesting lives and putting injustice on notice. Further discoveries not yet made in the sciences and engineering will inevitably lead to all physical work being done for humans by robots, further discoveries in medicine will increase our lifespan, and further discoveries in agricultural science may cause everyone to be well-fed. Put it all together and we're still no happier, necessarily, are we, because it goes back to why is life worth living when we know its punch line, and how can we live with each other anyway? What dammit what holds me down from just asking God for light?" - TLW

"If Science could give people a lifespan of hundreds of years, would that be a boon or would it backfire as only a tiny minority took advantage of the chance to become super knowledgeable and wise while the rest tried to forever remain children who always play it safe and never grow up, because nothing that's fun isn't somehow dangerous, and nothing is worth losing those hundreds of years for? Would the speed limit drop to 15, nobody want to chance running a yellow light, nobody want to join the fire or police department or stay up long hours to become a physician, and everybody become a lazy couch potato and welfare pig with a zillion excuses and endless applications for disability? No, because food doesn't grow on trees, and life is just as hard. Rather, people would likely use their extended lifespans and improved immune and self-repair systems as a 007 license to commit every sin and party all the time and become cruel giants and hunters of men who prey on the weak, causing most to live no longer than now while turning the world into a certified madhouse. Maybe that's what the Bible meant as God's rationale for Noah's Flood? And maybe Methuselah really did live 969 years, and God decided to reset the aging genes so he would't have to come up with more water?" - TLW

"The Bible says that God made man out of mud, in his own image (did he say white mud)? Science has verified that mud of you know what color, any color has all the ingredients out of which man is made, so it's a historical question who or what made man and how and why? Is the fallacy of the Bible that there is no God, and man made him up? Is the fallacy of Evolution that man didn't make himself out of mud, in nobody's image, and evolutionists made the missing links up? What color are brains, or is that below the belt? Is the fallacy of artificial intelligence that man can't make man's mind out of the electricity and magnetism in mud, even after applying all human minds put together? If intelligence could have happened by chance like man supposedly did, wouldn't it have evolved into Jehovah long ago and kicked our butts?" - TLW

"One day spent wrestling with a Microsoft operating system will be enough to convince anybody that making a complex program that is not full of bugs requires a God." - TLW

"What bugs me about Darwinian Evolution is the unfolding discovery that living beings aren't just beakers full of chemicals that mixed together by random chance into the right combinations, but are full of codes, processors, and programmed operating systems, and are built up out of a hierarchy of delicate, interoperable, programmed machines, and even more unsettling, that the living beings can reproduce and multiply to fill the available resources without being taken back to the shop and new chips installed. And that all living beings have operated just fine without a single human ever having figured out how they work inside or whose trademark logo is stamped on them. Even worse, that the game itself is rigged, because atoms are tiny computers whose design complexity is far more than we will ever fathom, and life depends on all the chemical elements having precise properties or it won't get off the ground in the first place. So the explanation that it all started with a random explosion of Unstable Bad Mamma Marble doesn't satisfy me." - TLW

"To believe that we got here by blind chance is pretty arrogant, since it's true that there's zillions of stars out there, and let's say one millionth of them are similar enough to our Sun to give chance a range of action to create Marilyn and Raquel, but now try to factor in the existence of asteroid magnet Jupiter, without which any life on Earth would get wiped out all the time, and the existence not only of the Moon but the incredibly fortunate size and orbit that tilts the Earth on its axis just right to create a temperate zone and seasons and keeps it stable so that it doesn't spin wildly and alternately scorch and freeze every spot on the surface, and let's not forget the wonderful color of our planet, blue, because it's got abundant stores of the chemical of life, water, but still has plenty of dry land so we can rise above the fishes, whose gills impose too many limitations for a higher civilization to arise. No, we enjoy a great atmosphere fed by an oxygen-generating fauna on land and sea that can run our biogengines, and that ozone layer that keeps us from radiation damage from the Sun. And I'm just talking about Darwin's evolution having enough time and random chances to get us (er, I'm slipping to his level?) to the sponge stage. How about them two legs, two hands, and that gray matter, I bet the dinos coulda survived a giant asteroid or two if they had all that, how lucky for us that they didn't, since otherwise we'd still be rodents under their feet. And the fact that there are a million species of insects, but the game is rigged so that none can grow as big as us and take over the planet, because they couldn't get enough oxygen without lungs and would collapse from lack of a backbone and internal skeleton. And the gobzillions of microorganisms, that we just happen to have microdefenses against, until we die, when we need them to recycle our bodily materials back into the Earth, what a concidence, eat me. Are you calculating the new odds, let's call it one in a Universe, us, get it? The dark ages of fighting just wrinkles are history, I definitely love the skin I'm in, thanks Mr./Ms. Blind Chance." - TLW

"You wanna talk about the Universe being here by blind chance? Let's say I open up the bathroom mirror and get my razor and start shaving, and the blade cuts my throat. Or I brush my teeth and the toothbrush causes my face to dissolve in acid. Or I take a deep breath and it happens to cause me to explode into drops of blood. Or I help with the delivery of my child and it is a horrible monster that jumps out and kills everybody in the operating room, and dies. Or physical laws. Let's say there aren't any, just random outcomes. That's a Universe of chance, sorry, I need to wait for the next one, and the next one, and the next one. Let's call it Universe number 6 billion 6 million and 6. That's not the Universe we live in, let's try a new one? How many do we get? One, it's always been the One we got now, how proud I am of you, look that up in your Wunk and Fagnalls." - TLW

"God made the Universe like a big watch, and now sits back and lets it run down, oblivious to good and bad? Why, because his hands are tied, or he got bored and got a new watch? Isn't it kind of an overwhelmingly interesting little watch, especially now with all that's going on, and if not, why did he make it? But then, is the Universe in a space of its own, like a toy at God's feet, or is it more like a big program in the cosmic computer of God's mind that owes everything it does to his power, and God controls everything down below the quantum level, which is why when man tries to study the very small, he runs up against a limit, a barrier, namely, God's power itself, and is only able to observe what happened, and compile statistics about it and wonder what happened, not make anything at the bottom level happen himself? Is that why the human power of words itself is ultimately limited, because it can never make things happen, never create, even though, since we were created in God's image, we are ever temped to try?" - TLW

"Einstein said that God doesn't roll dice with the Universe, which is too true, that sounds like something the Devil would do, but what he didn't 'get' is that God wouldn't have to, it's man (or the Devil) who would have to, if he tried to run it himself from his 'side', and quantum theory, which Einstein stubbornly rejected, might be one of the best indications that there is another side with independent controls and hence a God? As a Jew, who is humbled by the evidence of design in creation, he should have remembered that the word Jehovah means I Make It Happen, I Shall Prove to Be What I Shall Prove to Be? Take the opposite realm, of the very big, which is quite epically deterministic and ordered, allegedly so much so that extreme materialists (cosmologists) can see back to the Big Bang with microwave horns in space. Didn't Einy Weiny's General Relativity prove that we puny humans are equally helpless to make anything big happen, being reduced to pure geometrical blips in a Universe which is a giant 4-way unity with a cosmic speed limit imposed on all we blips can make happen, or even know, and thus how insignificant we really are, making all attempts at declaring ourselves gods or seeing forward or backward in time laughable because of our pathetically limited powers of knowledge, creation and destruction? Does the inscrutable quantum frontier show that there is another 'side' to the Universe, past the reach of Science, where anything can be made to happen on our side, and we just have to accept it and wonder what happened, because it was there in the so-called state function all along, with vanishingly small but positive probabilities, and this last anomalous event was the one-in-a-zillion chance come true, enabling scientists to handle the idea of one-of-a-kind or miraculous events and keep on sinning against God because they don't bat with that team? Indeed, does the shock of God seemingly rolling dice with the Universe at the quantum level everywhere at once yet somehow ending up with a er, fortuitously ordered Universe at the non-quantum level, with natural laws and causality er, miraculously guaranteed, an Arrow of Time, and maybe don't ask, not get through your thick heads sometimes?" - TLW

"Is the Big U a watch, composed of quantum parts, at God's feet, or is it part of God's mind, and our lives given on probation to see if we can of our own free will, with our minds, designed in God's image (out of matter-energy, which is itself part of God's mind, like a thought), go with the program voluntarily, else we will be eliminated from the program, because God made us happen and can make us un-happen? I don't know but the thought sure bugs my little mind?" - TLW

"I wish I had several lives for all I want to do, but I only have one, so I prefer to live it as a blonde, keeping my options open. When it comes to physicists I have to part company with their attempt to regard time as a dimension. Sorry, duration can be made a dimension only at the expense of trivializing physics itself, which is okay for applied physics AKA engineering but not theoretical physics, and to make up grand theories of the Universe by adding more and more dimensions, starting with time, is mathematical science fiction, not physics." - TLW

"Whatever you are looking at, at any time, seems solid, and able to block the transmission of light, and with it the ability to transfer information? How can God be everywhere? Isn't God in one distant place, with a throne? Or is the illusion of solidity all on your side of the Universe, and right there, right where you are looking, God is looking back at you from his side, behind the quantum level, and there is nowhere to hide from God, although you can choose to not believe in God or to believe that you are hiding? And since you are just part of his mind, everything you have ever done is remembered, and indeed, the future was known from the beginning, like the Bible says? If you want to think about it, turn off your computer screen and keep looking at it, and you will see your reflection on the blank screen, just like what would happen if God turned the clock off on the Big U, only it would be his face alone remaining." - TLW

"Breaking Hollywood news: Scientists think the Universe is alpha point omega billion years old. Why not google point google years old? Call me thick, but I don't think that my or any human mind can even comprehend what a measly million years means, and to catch glimpses of radiation from the Universe and pretend to be able to pontificate about billions of years seems as stupid as when the popes pontificated that the world is flat because they copped some views off some high mountain. Maybe the Universe is a googleplex years old and the story has become cheesy? That doesn't mean that Paradise Earth, an indisputable anomaly enjoying a zillion Fourth of July concidences to let us get to our next heartbeats, with no known partner, sister or parent anywhere in a sterile unfriendly uncommunicative Universe can't be much younger, say fifty thousand, maybe less, or at least the life on it, particularly us? If God made Genesis, he didn't have to put Heart in it, and even then, he didn't have to create intelligent life like Albert Einstein and Robin Williams in his own image, capable of a moral sense, with a free will that can do wright and rong, and love us so deep inside that we're really a part of him, don't you know you fool you never can win, use your mentality, step up to reality, so you don't have to be beautiful to turn me on, I just need your obedience baby, from dusk to dawn. And that's why Time is too important to God to be given to us human beans without limitations unless we you know what. It just makes you feel so good, but if you like to be depressed, there is no God, and Bill Time is God, and Genesis did it with sex, drugs and rock and roll, Lipitor, Propecia and Viagra, can I get an amen? Why not come straight to the point? Is there a divine Creator, or did father ditch work to meet you and the dog show is in town?" - TLW

"Why do I get the feeling sometimes that all them fossils dug up in the past few centuries are not the Story of Evolution, but the story of Flood, James G. Flood, shaken not stirred, that left a world of somebody's out-of-control creations in the mud while the last few human survivors were saved by a timely yachting expedition? Just because this layer of bones is often found on top of this other layer, how does that prove that that top layer evolved from that lower layer? Maybe it all plopped down at the same time? Can you prove that one mud is older than another mud? Where did all this mud come from? Talk to the animals like Doctor Doodoo? All right, big fella, tell me or your name is mud? All of the bones together don't come close to filling up the surface even if they once shared it at the same time. But all them old-looking mountains, they must be hoary with age, and the tales they could tell if only rocks could talk? I can't swear exactly, but I heard them saying my name? I never worked in the coal mind, er, mine, but I know this can't be love because there's no strife, no love, no signs, and I feel so well when I look into your eyes?" - TLW

"The day that fossils come complete with birth certificates, like Cabbage Patch Dolls, is the day I'll buy one for my daughter, if I have one." - TLW

"Biologists were doing good when they were trying to study how wondrous God's creation was. It's fun breaking down the life forms by structure and function, and building up flow charts and hierarchical trees and giving things Greek names. But when biologists got arrogant and decided they could see into the past, and decided that something below something else on a tree chart must have come out of the ass of what's above it, they made an ass of themselves. The more they work on them charts the worse they get, with jimmy-rigging and short-circuiting cross-links and new sub or super levels bridging across once independent branches. Let's face it. We're not discovering how life evolved, but just building a catalog of the tool kit the er, intelligent designer used. Maybe them giant dinos lived at the same time as the first human pair, and obeyed their orders and liked to be petted? Maybe them movies showing horrible dino fights are dino crap because they would have killed each other off in a few generations, and instead they were enjoying such lush vegetation that the only meat-eaters were those who ate the ones who died from old age or accident. Their size is proof they had plenty to eat, but I can't get over ole Malthus, hence I can't imagine any such scenario going on for millions of years. Since Genesis says that humans started out living in a tiny garden, the rest of the surface of the Earth would have been quite a playground for them, for a few thousand maybe, I don't know all the details, wait till I finish the screenplay, I'm putting the final touches on it right now." - TLW

"Ever hear of the Gaia Hypothesis, which claims that the Earth is a living organism? Of course, once the space program took photos of the Big Blue Earth, the idea suggests itself fast, where do I submit my next bestseller for publication? Too bad, the so-called scientists who go for it jump off the deep end, imagining Mother Earth developing itself, along with life, like a growing fetus, look at the next leap in evolution, yada yada yada, and mistake it for real knowledge, energy led to matter, matter led to life, life led to consciousness, suck my dick. Sorry, but I don't buy it, because while it's cool to fantasize that we can see backward in Time by viewing puppet shows, where Time is a stage and the puppets just fall down from the curtains and begin dancing, and are reeled back in for new puppets to take their place, always to explain the mysterious process of PC godless evolution that resulted in us and that therefore must rule the future, ain't it nice to chuck God for us future gods, these bozos must be pretty arrogant to believe that their dupes don't see any strings or can't trace them to their hands." - TLW

"Talk about biologists being arrogant. Having decided that life must be all over the Universe, it's easy just try it, they are now attempting to play God by redesigning the life forms using genetic engineering, as they euphemistically call it. Is this a great leap forward for humanity, or a horrible trap, lined with mines that threaten a calamity exceeding all that has come before without the ability to ever return? Either way, in an era when King Darwin is Da Boss, how can it be resisted, even if it ends up putting all flesh on the verge of perishing? But, but, but, my Parkinson's is getting so bad? Too bad the road to success isn't paved with nice?" - TLW

"What if the Bible is absolutely true and maybe suffers from some bad translations, and all its creation story and miracles really happened, and God is really telling us like it was, is, and will be, and Christ really was the Creator of the World, the original Lonesome Dove, whose own creations killed him, and it counts, and these are exciting times, put this in perspective? Yes you lived with the ridicule to accept that life really is that fairy tale and my God how great thou art, but it will be like the Dog says for the ridiculers, and just what is your beef with him anyway? Too bad, all them violations of God's moral laws, i.e., sins, are really going to be judged, and materialism based on believing that mud makes itself is the real fairy tale, and Armageddon will prove to be your car wreck? Hence the entire mental edifice of the coming godless sinless New World Order based on Adam-and-Christ-free Darwinian Evolution is a huge deception caused by Satan to fool the worldly wise in the latter days because he knows he's been losing every inning and the Big Inning is nigh, and he hopes to win by the bell by causing an angry God to destroy almost everyone's souls after they do like they did in the days of Noah and make the Earth unfit to live in, only this time with all the accumulated revelations and experience of six, count 'em, seven milleniyahren to wise us up, making us look like total deadbeats in hopeless rejection of God's settlement proposal called Christ, making him angrier than you know what? I don't know but check back with me at some unknown future date if you can gussy up and make your hard look ooh la-la?" - TLW

"Is time a physical dimension, or just an illusion of memory, the perception that one cannot control or know the Universe, just tiny amounts of it, and cannot make the Universe happen, only watch it happen or wonder what happened? Did Einstein really believe that if you could travel faster than the speed of light, you would go back in time? Duh, let's say I am looking at myself in a mirror, and suddenly jump forward, tag the mirror, and return to my initial position faster than light. Let's say I do it a trillion times faster than light. How did I go back in time? Didn't I just run into a light beam two trillion times, and the rest of the Universe didn't give a shit? Sorry, I have to part ways with Eye Stein here. Time is not a dimension. His Relativity Theory with its trains and clocks is inside out. Time travel isn't about us, can't be. It would have to be about the entire Universe. If one could change the Universe to the state it was in yesterday, wouldn't it be yesterday? But that rules out a time travel machine, because it would have to have the power to revert all the laws of physics, such as F = MA and conservation of energy, throughout the Big U. Worse, we'd have no way of knowing if we did it, because we're not God, the same yesterday, today, and forever, so we'd revert too. Believing in time travel smacks of those stupid pagans who worshipped the created rather than the Creator, which we're too smart to do anymore, right? Modern physicists are too smart to believe in a Creator anymore, that settles it. Duh, if there was a Big Bang then spacetime itself is not just evolving but expanding, the ultimate Pandora's Box, just try to put the toothpaste back in one tube. Hence time travel is moose hockey, and indeed is a blatant attempt to undermine all morality and sense of sin and fear of punishment by, er, sorry that's not PC? Hey, it's me, back after a 20-year lunch break where I did the world and left the germs behind? I once wrote the Wiki article on Time Travel, explaining it like it is, only to see it reverted and replaced by a new article by an Einstein Zombie who waved his hands and talked about choosing a proper inertial frame of reference where time goes backwards, I think I got one right here in my pants, unwaiting to get an unerection, I think he meant uninertial frame of unreference, kind of like a flaccid penis that unimpregnates a woman and causes all alimony checks to turn into free government grants. Even Stephen Hawking recognized that er, Mother Nature works to prevent time travel with his Chronology Projection Conjecture of who cares what year it's been reverted by Wiki." - TLW

"History will always be the king of the sciences, because without it one will always remain a child. Look at Stephen Hawking or Albert Einstein, children educated beyond their intelligence who lived and died without a clue. Sure the biggest threat we face is evil aliens from outer space. Sure peace is the only way, except when it comes to Nazis, then all-out war is the only way. Isaac Newton at least gave full attention to history, maybe the last physicist who did. Of course to master history one has to master the history of science, and hopefully the science involved, history is no subject for super-specialists." - TLW

"I hope this isn't rude, but isn't that just the bee's knees, the rabbit in the hat, that even though it's a mind trick and we can argue about how we got it, we all have the incredible power to build a mental Memory Palace of Time and try out our moral sense on our own and others' actions, no matter how we were raised or what our parents told us, even if our bodies can't match what our eyes can do, so even the pathetic Stephen Hawkings can have a life preserver if they want, pour the champagne and check MySpace?" - TLW

"Time travel is an imaginary magic device used by sci-fi/fantasy writers out to make a buck, wannabe magicians who want to make the Universe obey by words and gestures, it's already being done a century from now by Big S, take my word for it, only $29.95 a copy. Real physics is a graphical aid for making sense of the Universe via puny abstractions of theoretically isolated aspects, with time reduced to duration, a scalar used for the x-axis. Too bad, Big Science got too arrogant and bit the apple by making Time into a dimension for the purpose of grand theories of the Universe. Sorry, Time is not under the control of humans, even in theory, and never will be, oops, never was, is, or will be? The pikers who religiously cling to Einstein's mathematical science fiction that applies only in a fairy-tale world free of quantum-level complications dream up mental masturbatory powers for themselves approaching gods, despite not being able to wipe their own butts, because to control Time is to be rrrrr-rrrrr-rrrrr God, and we can't travel back in Time even to see if there really was a Garden of Eden, or even who killed Kennedy, so we have to trust God's word, or Satan's automatically our god I'm sweating tears of blood I love you and died for you don't ya remember? Even when quantum effects seem to create time travel on paper or in a lab, is this a tail-wagging-dog magic trick disregarding the fact that the Universe at large isn't going along for the ride, and our sins are still not forgiven? At least Quantum Theory recognizes that physics is self-limited by measurement, with there being no way to separate observer from observed without introducing error, the Great Pussy Power that turns all potential time machines into wet dreams." - TLW

"At least if I had a working time machine I could turn all question marks into periods and claim copyright of everybody else's work?" - TLW

"Speaking of observer and observed. If time were a dimension we could make a spacetime ship where we dial-in the three final space coordinates and the final time coordinate and fork like rabbits while it's getting us there. But if we dialed only the time dial, let's say to one day ago, we have the problem that the Universe is in motion, so our ship has to move everything back but us, and if we started out on the surface of the Earth we'd suddenly be sucked out into the vacuum of outer space, and if we didn't suffocate or get fried by radiation, we might see Earth again in a day before we got smashed against it like a bug on a windshield. In sci-fi stories like H.G. Wells, time isn't the fourth dimension, it's the only dimension, because one only has a time dial, and the three physical dimensions are slaved to it so you can watch the fashion styles change in the picture window. But where's the engine for all that 3-dimensional movement to keep the machine in the same spot on a moving Earth? Duh, there isn't one, because the con game is that they want to you to believe that they can move the observer, not the observed, through the fake dimension of time, not really moving through a dimension but peeping at a movie, maybe they think of it as a parallel universe for each time jump. That's why time isn't a dimension in the first place, pass the popcorn." - TLW

"If you turn off the sound and play a movie backwards, you will be surprised that it seems to be moving forwards in time, and people just happen to walk backwards, suck gasoline out of the air to power their cars backwards, and turn from tiny drops of flesh into whole bodies before walking backwards out of a bomb. Your mind cannot think without the concept of the arrow of time." - TLW

"The Big Bang is like that bomb we flew into as tiny drops of flesh before we walked backwards out of it as whole bodies. If the sound were turned on, I don't believe I could buy that movie." - TLW

"I often wonder why we just happened to be born on a paradise planet where we happen to be just the right size for the laws of physics to make us master of our world, but at the same time render us impotent to control the very small and the very large, sorry, no Caliph of the Quantum World or Time Lord of the Relativity World, no escape. Was it designed that way by God, or are we just lucky lucky lucky and really really really unlucky, like Lee Harvey Oswald, who was lucky lucky lucky enough to become the Caliph of the Quantum World and knock off the most powerful world leader all by himself, but really really really unlucky, having no escape plan and not getting to see a lawyer or have a day in court even though he kept claiming that he was just a patsy, with no hope once he was in custody of being the Time Lord of the Relativity World and making a getaway in a time machine before he got a bullet in the guts on TV while being held securely by police? If the Bible is true after all, we will get our day in court, and will not need a lawyer, because Time will End." -TLW

"While it otherwise seems trivial and pretty much harmless, when thought about philosophically gay sex seems wrong because it's like they're trying to reverse time. For instance, instead of a man having penis-in-vagina sex with a woman and going on to raise children to ensure the survival of the human race, two gay men turn each other upside down and suck the babies out of each other's penises then kill them in the hell of their stomach acid, a form of cannibalism not even endorsed by Jonathan Swift. If every man did it then the human race would be worse off than the Jews in Auschwitz sans Schindler. I know, you're a scientist and there's no right and wrong. So if we evolved from apes, how did genes for species suicide evolve? If we were created, God already spoke when he destroyed the Institute of Oral Sex in Sodom and the B&D Dungeons of Gomorrah, then turned Lot's wife into a phallic pillar salt lick for a fitting memorial. Actually, he already spoke by placing the recreation center next to the waste dump, right next to the Tree of Life in the Garden of Eden, take a bite of the forbidden fruit and you're outa there, we're their children and we just can't help ourselves. I'm not even talking about anal sex, but both oral and anal sex are close to eating shit, bon appetit, hope they find a gene to ward off flesh-eating disease. When women do 69, if they are young enough to stand the smell and taste, it somehow seems less wrong because they mainly leave the eggs in place, and men might be watching and do them both later. Even when a woman performs oral sex on a man it seems less wrong, since some sperms might drop out and accidentally crawl into her vagina, and when a man performs the Story of O on a woman, he is saving his entire sperm for later, probably sooner. Of course in most Mafia-run porno that's the usual script, because they're the modern al-Andalus, Land of the Vandals, directing it behind the camera, an unrealistic fantasy world with actors and actresses who might be acting like they're having fun with enough dubbing but are actually pathetic infected drug-addicted short-timers headed for horrible lingering deaths if they don't stop. If Science could prevent and cure all diseases, all options might be okay, but so would it be if they could resurrect the dead. The only problem I have with the God option is why he thought anybody would want to kiss a man on the mouth." - TLW

"If the Universe is a program in God's mind, wouldn't it have had an initial state, and the very concept of time be God's own precious gift to the program, just like the clock chips in a computer need to receive power to make the computer interpret the software and advance the program, which is otherwise nothing but ones and zeros (numbers, codes, words) in memory? It's the change in the state of the objects inside the memory that create the illusion of time, life, and even death. For us, there is no time without motion, physicists even measure time via the motion in cesium atoms in the Republic of Boulder. If the objects inside the program foolishly think there is no God, and no computer, and that their Universe isn't a program in a computer but created itself, and is self-contained in its own spacetime, which is the only reality, wouldn't they inevitably theorize that it started as a marble so many jillions of years earlier, that life (never mind the problems) created itself, and that all galaxies are racing away from each other, since they were all in the same marble, and there no longer is a marble, but they can luckily observe traces of it left over, and can feed their observations into time-reversing equations simulated in a supercomputer, and that makes them sure there was one, a marble that is, as if they have a cosmoscope, I would say C, collarbone, final answer? But if the Universe were created in an initial state, like any computer program, then given Time as a gift to allow the 'human object type' to instantiate objects, multiply, evolve and go with the program, wouldn't God have made sure that the galaxies wouldn't be crashing into each other, and that indeed a zillion seeming coincidences would work in unison to make our home a safe, secure paradise that could endure indefinitely if God wills, despite our pathetic attempts to number-crunch time forward and come up with frightening predictions of colliding galaxies and the heat death of the Universe, where not only each individual but all that humanity has done ends in lukewarm spit? Now, now, now is not like that, and though we'd like to cut costs on our cable bill we all know we are really, really lucky to be living just when the Universe is working for us nonstop, and always has, as long as humanity has been around, so far as we know. So why are you sobbing and can't tell me why? And that just as the so-called scientific cosmological model of the Universe, if mathematically crunched forward, seems to predict total crap, so when it's mathematically reversed, even with the limited knowledge available to us, it appears to be perfect, retracting to an infinitesimal point, and when we then attempt to crunch forward again to now, the zillion coincidences required to explain all the mundane miracles everywhere we look leave us totally clueless as to how how how or why why why, begging the very question? The only king we have is Caesar? Therefore the Big Bang is bull?" - TLW

"Rock and roll is here to stay, or hark the herald angels sing? Happiness runs in a circular motion? You already know that college is expensive and more bills will be arriving soon? Why does TLW call his work the Greatrackium Contra Millennium Feverium? Simple, he just went through a Millennium change and won his bet with the Jehovah's Witnesses. It's all about how things seemed to be going along great for the pagan Western world, how it was on the right track with early efforts at science and technology, backed by flabby Rome and healthy-heart Greece, until the insidious rise of the Bible and its all-inclusive Millennium Fever (MF) - the cocksure belief that the world is heading for an unavoidable End of Days - ruined it, like a pre-nup of a pre-nup. Armageddon is not merely a nuclear holocaust, where the cockroaches can evolve into a new cerebral species in another billion years, no, but the End, brought about by the Creator, a divine mortgage foreclosure like Noah's Flood, where a tiny few who are loyal will be spared while the Earth is cleaned off and refurbished for a new Year One by God himself, and all human history up to then squirreled away in a new Bible that's whittled down to a few primitive-sounding phrases for future sinless saved innocent lamb people, hence screw Science and Technology, this world is only a test from sea to shining sea, and all one has to do is reduce the salt with Zataran's, get saved and wait for Big J. Maybe, considering the excesses of the Roman emperors, that sales pitch once sounded irresistible, and the promise of S&T could seem like a sucker's bet in the face of the pie in the sky offered by happy cows from California. But times have changed, the iPhone is here, along with Hydraclear and Teflon carpets. The real world might be in the Year Umpteen Thousand, if you believe the Bible thumpers, or in the Year Umpteen Billion, depending on whom you talk too, but either way, Big J has had two millennia to make good his promises, and we're still waiting to live life strong, like a woman. Yet the legendary creature known as Bigfoot is still awaited, tomorrow is still guaranteed to be Never by the Millennium Feverists, and millions are still moved by the Frenzied Urge to Spread the Word that everyone needs to get their mind right now to be saved, and that this world is just a test, not the only world, or the final world, but the test world, and we care about your future not your past so get out of the fast lane and make it to the finish line of faith?" - TLW

"Every king who had to wipe his own ass found out that he wasn't a god, which is why some called themselves emperors, so slaves would wipe it for them?" - TLW

"Is 1-877-END-SMOKE right ahead, like that Titanic iceberg, every house must be sold, call now? Even if End of Days seems in sight from all the bad things happening every day, must one act like it's going to happen one second from now to be sure to die babbling happy thoughts, even after decades of leading a godly life of self-denial in Jesus and missing all the fun with your Denver gay guy? If actions have bad physical conquences, limit the discussion to that, on its own merits, don't bring in So Much Drama. It's about the ultimate question, the ultimate closet cleaning: Is Bible history fiction, or is Bible fiction history and Moses really did part the Red Sea, there really was a Garden of Eden, Jesus is the Second Adam, and our brains may no longer be the boss? Come on, Christian soldiers, after twenty, count them twenty centuries of sweet dreams where it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, isn't this MF crying game getting old because she never shows us his beef, never mind if we can gayly swallow this godly meat? Let's not stoop to ad hominem, accusing critics of Bushing it up or Tarting it up. Is Rock of Ages and Lamb of God Christianity a rational belief that explains the facts of history, or an irrational OCD based on a dumbed-down fairy tale starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, more like a mental virus, one that requires a cure or an inoculation, not nice hair? If the world is to go on and up, free of drags and dangers, and we're gonna dance, we're gonna dance, doesn't it need to throw off this mental virus or suffer indefinitely? Tell me your steel dreams and it just might net you a prize? Check back with me and show me what you got in another millennium? That's the point? I hope not? Not that TLW pretends to have proof of either the Bible or Godless Evolution version of the bad side of town of the Great Track of Time. It's just that he wants the world to serve notice on Big J and his son Little J that they ought to be given a drop dead date, after which we all have a God-given right to consider him dead for good, and pick up the pieces. How about the year 2033? 2053? 2066? 2101? What if somebody digs this up in the year 9999 and there's half the world still expecting him to come tomorrow? For heartburn, why wait, Millennium Fast? Circle slowly so I can evaluate the work we've done? Stop dreaming, start planning your Florida vacation? It's up to you to decide, but it's not cute to play dumb. Thanks for calling Bi-Bell, what can we do for you?" - TLW

"What's your cereal's IQ, that's an odd question? Is the Bible a mishmash of writings artificially bound in one binding, full of different human thought products at different levels, and showing stages of evolution, like the worldly wise say? If the Bible is really the word of God, and the wisdom of this world is foolishness, there is an acid test, for your heart start smart. It must inevitably prove to be something only God could make, a hologram of Time, illuminated by the ever-growing light of the present, ultimately producing a perfect picture of the End of Days. Like any hologram, we should be able to break it into random pieces, and each must contain the entire picture, only with less resolution, hence to see the final picture with the ultimate resolution, every last letter must be considered as a totality, with no attempt to throw out the 'Old' or 'New' Testament as kaput, and true religion should therefore only use the Bible in totality as its authority, throwing out all bullsynods and other authorities made by mere men? But the Bible is still only the work of men, a gentle experience in a drop of ammonia, because the tablets God wrote with his finger are kaput, and the oldest scrolls are copies of copies of copies to the cosmopolitan mix? Even if so, the hologram concept would preserve the true image despite nonessential flaws, but if it totally falls flat, the knocked-up one-night-stand Scopes Monkey Trial would win in the Super Supreme Court, and we can check out the banners on the left side and go do it like supermonkeys, feeling good from my head to my toes, no ask Mistah Tallyman to tally me banana?" - TLW

"I can do anything Mister Lightning can? They say that personal injury law is all about the money? If life really created itself, arose spontaneously, is indomitable and can't be stopped from breaking through the beakers at Jurassic Park, then pardon my French, but life in quotes must surely be cheap in the vast Universe, and hence Elron Humbug was right, Earth can be sold off for scrap to some superior life forms at a fire sale at any time, and we might as well accept Scientology and gay-lesbian transvestite pedophile free-love group marriage no-fault-divorce partial-birth abortion-loving officers in the one world church-and-bible-free military police force run by computers behind movie star fronts while attempting to contact the new owners, because nothing is more American than one and six six six zeroes? What if life not only didn't evolve from non-life, but endless life, either personal or species, is like a perpetual motion machine, and there's no such animal? What if, surprise, no matter how long Harold Urey cooks year-old urea, God alone can create and sustain life, and this Spaceship Earth is it, and we've already blown it, and he's already decreed that man shall surely die, offering only one way out, which we won't mention because we're busy becoming gods, and life had a T-zero and must ultimately stop, like a fake perpetual motion machine that's allowed to run down and show the faker up? Only this time we're the fakers, and each generation must be getting closer to a final sterility? Hence all the scientists' worries about overpopulation, global warming and habitat destruction won't matter, as the game of life itself will run out of Microsoft Monopoly money, and the rat race will reach a dead end? And even if the last male-female pair on Earth rips off their clothes and runs through the wheat fields, the jig will be up, and all the prayers to Sts. Sagan, Roddenberry and Hanna-Barbera won't save us? And after the last autosexual human turns out the light, nobody will care, on Earth or in heaven? Why do I keep remembering that pesky Bible, which warns that those who act like dogs will not be saved from galactic garbage collection, that is, not know a life free of pain, tears or death, and that God is the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end, the true Einstein?" - TLW

"One wild card for the materialistic Bible bashers is theirs to play, if they have it or can get it. Prove that life of any kind exists outside the Earth, preferably outside the Solar System, and prove its origin is not the Earth, and I'll burn the Bible view of humanity and God's plan for salvation in E-85 ethanol, go off to college, get a bisexual rommate, not worry about God, and not sweat it. I missed the sexual revolution and regret it? Show me one cerebral E.T. and we'll go toasting marshmallows together on my Bible briquet. These little planet blues are melting away, start spreading the news, I'm leaving today, I want to be a part of it, New Life, New Life. Too bad, these vagabond shoes that are longing to stray don't believe them sighting stories, so check back with me when First Contact is made on Big Mosquito Lake. But don't try bluffing me with a bust hand. I want Science to prove it, okay? Bring in their coupon, not good with any other offer. But don't call that a blank check from my bank account, such a cold finger beckons you to enter his web of sin, but don't go in. Is the giant mental effort now being put into astronomy, physics, exobiology, and space exploration the new Scholasticism, seeking to prove the existence of intelligent life, any life that didn't start like in un-PC Genesis, extra credit for being heritably gay or dancing the pasodoble, not for the thrill of knowing we're going to be facing another immigration problem, or because we want to know the thrill of making it there so we can make it anywhere, but so we don't have to sweat at night anymore after doing the wild thing with the Gideon pushed to the back of the drawer? What if there is not only no life outside romantic Earth, but we wake up in a Universe that does sleep, with the fishes Mafia-style, because it is a sterile unlivable desert incapable of supporting even our own life without God's power, a sheer waste to dream of colonizing, when we had it all right where God put us, and only had to obey our Creator and not ruin it with Pledge Buster Plus, and he would have let us multiply until we needed more planets, and just gave them to us like the first time, all fixed up and ready to move in, after we proved capable of taking care of them right despite all them golden words poured into our ears by Mister Lonely whose been alive for 13.7 billion years?" - TLW

"Let's theorize that the Universe is composed of software objects in a Galactic Computer. Those that are not created in the image of God, whether animal, vegetable or mineral, are just part of the background for us humans, who are the only sapient beings and the only ones whose moral choices play ball with God, the cosmic umpire who can throw us out of the game but really wants us to stay. Unfortunately, everybody has already been judged with a death sentence, and only the Supreme Court can reverse the conviction, and that's God too, and if we believe the Official Rulebook it's only after we repent in our hearts and accept Christ as the Way, the Truth, and the Life, i.e., the new Supertype we want to be reinstantiated with. Not that that gives us a blank check to act like devils, since God gave us hearts and he knows if we really repented in them, and if we did we couldn't go back to acting like animals, couldn't, since we've changed inside, as much as we can with our imperfect minds. Not that our conviction reversal will exempt us from the laws of the Galactic Program. We will still die, because no matter how hard we try to change, we are imperfect and always disobeying God, and it keeps adding up until his judgment is served and we die. It's just that the Galactic Computer has a perfect memory and God can reinstantiate us anytime he wants as brand new objects with perfect code, subtyped on the master type of guess who starts with JC, who won't age or get sick and can live forever (unlike animals, who have dead-end lifecycles just like plants, because they're fundamentally different, screw Darwin, good health, that's the plan), but only after he knows we won't offend him anymore and will go with the program of obedience to him after our imperfect code is fixed. And obviously, since we didn't come from monkeys but from Adam, he will do the mass resurrection thingie for all of Adam's descendants in one sysgen. Tell that to Carl Sagan now that he's died before his big God-dissing movie Contact could be released by Hollyweird. On the other hand, I'm not saying I truly believe in God myself, I'm just advancing a theory like Darwin did, so give it equal time in the schools, okay?" - TLW

"The question of God boils down to whether there is an eternal person, however one wants to deconstruct that?" - TLW

"Then we're just objects in a galactic computer? Maybe, but the catch is, it would have to be objects of parent type God." - TLW

"The question of the existence of God boils down to the size and speed of a galactic computer, the number of objects to be updated, the number of words of memory to hold the objects and the data capacity of each word, the bandwidth of the, er, forget it, check back with me after the Singularity?" - TLW

"When am I going to pontificate on the alleged worldwide Jewish conspiracy? Answer: I'm pontificating on it all the time, it goes without saying, who can deny it, it's everywhere, like seasoning in a stew. By definition, Jews are human, and want to survive and thrive, and since so many people have been out to get them for so long, they had to have a worldwide conspiracy early on or they'd be extinct long ago, ask the American Indians. A conspiracy to what? Answer: survive and thrive. Who can deny that they have that right, so at least cool down and admire their pluck. Do they really have a conspiracy to rule the world, or are they just known for a disproportionate number of brilliant thinkers who rule branches of human thought since worldly thrones are out of the question except in the behind-the-curtain position? For most of history the pesky Jews had to live in a world where the Christian church or churches were boss, and they had to deal with maroons who believed that a Jew who once rose from the dead is now their boss in Heaven, yet if they don't call him their boss too and follow his appointed goy pope or bishop on Earth, they should be treated like manure. The Jews have long been blamed for killing Our Dear Christ, although their own record says it was the Romans who did it, and they gave him due process of law first, very much like the Spanish Inquisition later did to them. And Little J rose from the dead, right, so his conviction and punishment were overturned by the Supreme Court of Big J, and therefore no harm, no foul, why the bitter looks, visit the empty tomb and fuggedabout it? Just imagine being a Jew who lives his whole life thinking that Jesus Christ is a fraud who was given due process of law, case closed, what are you, one of them conspiracy nuts? Then there's the Muslims who want them to submit to their badass Arab prophet and accept that their Jewish Bible has it all backwards when it says that Ishmael, father of the Arabs was thrown out for Isaac, father of the Jews, by orders of Big J himself, so why go there? Let's say you're an atheist Jew, does that give you an immunity badge in Survivor: Earth? No, because anti-Semites will just invent something new on you, voila, you say Hillshire I say Marx Berry Farm. So if you insist there's a big Jewish conspiracy to take over the world and do something horrible, ask them to take back all them scientific and literary achievements and let you grovel in the Dark Ages again. But then, maybe they deserve to take over the world, everybody else has had their turn, why not them? Even if you're a Jew who doesn't believe in Jehovah or God anymore, you can't so easily rise above the past and be a New Jew, because you'd just be a No Jew, a sad self-contradictory null person with a bunch of ancestors whose raison d'etre you repudiate. But if you go for Jehovah, what about the little fact that your blood lines are so mixed up that you probably don't qualify as a member of the original Chosen Tribe anyway, even if you want to go back to Golden Calf worship and start over? Hence what have you left to live for in Heaven or Hell, answer Nothing, and who's left to feel sorry for you, answer Nobody, so you might as well take over the world because They with a Capital T left you no choice but to take matters into your own hands, next question? Alas, what's really sad about Jew haters is that a world without them Jews would have been like a stew with no seasoning, might still be in the throes of paganism and ruled by the Mean Roman Empire or the mead-swigging Vikings, and is much better off that they were here giving the world a conscience, a dream, the Big J, the Little J, and Star Trek, even if they were responsible for all the wars that have gone down, however they covered their tracks, because if they were, they had a purpose, a good one, the advancement of Jewish, er, civilization, and a world without them Jews wouldn't be worth living in. So pass the Jew stew and hold the sea salt." - TLW

"Why didn't TLW publish the Great Track of Time earlier, even if it was in the swamp stage, to allow readers to come on board and go along with him? For the same reason that Leonardo da Vinci took forever to finish his paintings, and carried his Mona Lisa around with him, or the same reason that Isaac Newton took ten years to develop the Calculus, then didn't publish it until a rival claimed credit: ego. Call it ego, but TLW wants his place in history as the Historyscoper with a capital H, so it was like he was a bodybuilder like Ahnuld and wanted to make his mark by winning Mister Olympia, pumping iron in the gym for ten years and getting muscles on his muscles and rounding every last muscle out before he went onstage and let them take pictures. Yes, there were times when TLW didn't want to let anybody else have it, his Precious, like Gollum in the J.R.R. Tolkien novels. But the world needs it, and TLW is sorry for people who have to live without it, so he finally let it be published and have its effect in the world, shiny polished parts, dull parts, pitted parts and all. Now we're in it together, so let's not waste any more time." - TLW

"Disclaimer time. TLW, like any world's greatest genius, has his human limitations, and puts his pants on one leg a a time like anybody, so despite how much you'd like to, you shouldn't blindly believe everything I publish, just cut me some slack, keep an open mind and check my claims and facts once in awhile. Thinking and gaining knowledge is still manual labor for all, and nobody can know everything. I don't pretend to have a formula to solve all the world's problems, for the world is too complex for just one philosophy anymore, and is getting more and more like an eBay, where everything is available anytime you want it, but if you buy it sight unseen you have to deal with the consequences, which can be unpleasant, hence it's good to do your homework first. Despite my imperfections, I still feel sorry for anybody who's left behind by not reading my crap." - TLW

"The truly smart will read everything I wrote, and try to read everything I read." - TLW

"TLW sucks? I wish. But my inner voice, my inner light happens more and more often in my little life." - TLW

"Speaking of crap. Sometimes I think that all surface history is endless crap of shit and I've been missing all the real action below the surface by reading the shit. Never fear, hope springs eternal. I got up at the butt crack of dawn and saw a bunny." - TLW

The most feared words to a Historyscoper: "You forgot something." - TLW



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