Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-)

TLW's Hillaryscope™

By T.L. Winslow (TLW), the Historyscoper™

© Copyright by T.L. Winslow. All Rights Reserved.

Original Pub. Date: Dec. 23, 2013. Last Update: Mar. 19, 2015.

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What Is A Historyscope?

Westerners are not only known as history ignoramuses, but double dumbass history ignoramuses when it comes to Hillary Clinton's history. Since I'm the one-and-only Historyscoper (tm), let me quickly bring you up to speed before you dive into my Master Historyscope.

U.S. Pres. William Jefferson 'Bill' Clinton (1946-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Bill Clinton (1946-) and Hillary Clinton (1947-) Bill Clinton (1946-) and Hillary Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) Bill Clinton (1946-)

Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-), wife (since 1975) of U.S. Dem. Pres. #42 (1993-2001) William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton (1946-) AKA Slick Willie is the woman currently closest to the U.S. presidency, the Great White Hope for women's libbers, who almost got to the White House in 2008 but was aced out of it by half-white half-black man Barack Obama, which obviously doesn't phase her, as he has to have a successor and she's clearly waiting in the wings. A frequent target of balls (testicles) jokes, she has to fight the glass ceiling and yet appear not to be a man in drag, which often backfires and makes her the target of bitch jokes, as well as lesbian rumors, not to mention witch and Illuminati rumors. If she becomes president, women will have finally achieved equality in the U.S., and it will never be the same, which is just it, because women never seem to stick together at the ballot box, so it's like that joke about water everywhere and not one drop to drink, so near yet so far.

Hillary's public record is one thing, her shady personal record is another. Her public resume is as follows: 1979-81, 1983-92: First Lady of Ark. as the wife of Gov. Bill Clinton. 1993-2001: First Lady as the wife of Pres. Bill Clinton. 2001-9: U.S. Sen. (D-N.Y.). 2009-2013: U.S. secy. of state #67 under Pres. Barack Obama. In the 2008 election she was a leading candidate for the Dem. presidential nomination, and in ? she began another run after gaining the backing of billionaire George Soros in 2013.

The surname Clinton means one who comes from Clinton, Northamptonshire, an Old English place name meaning "settlement on the summit." It probably has nothing to do with the surname Clanton, a variant spelling of the habitational name Clandon, from places in Surrey and Dorset named Clandon, from Old English "clan"= clean (clear of weeds) + "dun" = hill. That doesn't stop some karma from leaking over from the infamous Ike Clanton Gang of Gunfight at the O.K. Corral Fame, Oct. 26, 1881. Bill Clinton's ancestry incl. Moses Baum (1804-53), who was fined $10 for rioting in 1827 in Rutherford County, Tenn. Hillary Clinton's ancestry traces back to Durham, England; notable relatives incl. Canadian PMs Pierre Trudeau and Jean Chrétien, beatnik Jack Kerouac, singers Madonna and Celine Dion, and actress Angelina Jolie. There are rumors that Bill Clinton is really the illegitimate grandson of John D. Rockefeller, which segues into an elaborate Illuminati conspiracy theory, of course he tomcats around without Hillary caring because their marriage is a sham, arranged for political power alone, and she's really a lesbian.

The surname Rodham comes from OE ("rod" + "ham" = patch of land bearing willow trees; first used in the mid-19th cent. in the Fen district of East Anglia, it means a raised bank formed from silt deposits on the bed of a dry river course.

Robert Crittenden (1797-1834) Chester Ashley (1791-1848) Uriah Milton Rose (1834-1913)

On Nov. 1, 1820 Rose Law Firm in Little Rock, Ark. is founded by Robert Crittenden (1797-1834) and Chester Ashley (1791-1848); in 1861 Uriah Milton Rose (1834-1913) joins the firm; in Feb. 1977 Hillary Rodham Clinton joins it.

On Oct. 26, 1947 Hillary Diane Rodham is born at Edgewater Hospital in Chicago, Ill. She is raised in a United Methodist family, moving at age 3 to suburban Park Ridge, Ill. Her father Hugh Ellsworth Rodham (1911–1993) is of Welsh and English descent, running a successful small business in the textile industry. Her mother Dorothy Emma Howell (1919–2011) is a homemaker of English, Scottish, French Canadian, French, and Welsh descent. Hillary has two younger brothers, Hugh and Tony.

Sir Edmund Hillary (1919-2008) and Tensing Norkay (1914-86) Baron Henry Cecil John Hunt (1910-98)

Because it's there? On May 29, 1953 34-y.-o. Kiwi beekeeper Edmund Percival Hillary (1919-2008) and his Nepalese Sherpa guide Tenzing Norgay (Norkay) ("wealthy fortunate follower of religion") (1914-86) become the first to scale 29K ft. Mt. Everest (Chomolungma) on the Nepal-Tibet border in the Himalayas (world's highest mountain), leaving the flags of the U.N., U.K., India, and Nepal; the news is announced on the day of Elizabeth I's coronation (June 2), and Hillary is knighted along with Col. Henry Cecil John Hunt (1910-98) of the British Army, leader of the Royal Geographical Society-sponsored expedition. In 1995 Hillary Clinton claims that her mother named her after Sir Edmund Hillary, explaining the unusual double-L spelling of her name; in Oct. 2006 after being confronted with little problemo in the dates, a Clinton spokeswoman said she was not named after the mountain climber, but it "was a sweet family story her mother shared to inspire greatness in her daughter, to great results I might add" - it's a good thing Santa ain't single?

Saul David Alinsky (1906-75) Marian Wright Edelman (1939-)

In 1965 Hillary enrolls at Wellesley College in Mass. (alma matter of Madeleine Albright), starting out a Republican then bolting after deciding it's racist from attending the 1969 Repub. Convention in Miami, Fla.; the place where she became a pussy-eating lesbian?; her senior thesis is a critique of the tactics of radical community organizer (Pres. Obama's hero?) Saul David Alinsky (1906-75), which the White House later restricts access to; it contains the soundbytes: "[Alinsky's] power/conflict model is rendered inapplicable by existing social conflicts", and concludes that Alinsky's model had not expanded nationally due to "the anachronistic nature of small autonomous conflict"; it ends by thanking Alinsky for two interviews and a job offer, with the soundbyte: "After spending a year trying to make sense out of [his] inconsistency, I need three years of legal rigor"; an honors student at Wellesley, she receives an A grade for it; she actually was converted into a lifelong Alinskyite, and began putting his methods into practice by trying to disguise her radicalism while infiltrating the system?

In 1969 valedictorian Hillary becomes the first student commencement speaker at Wellesley College, her speech becoming a big hit - life is more like high school than college? On May 19, 1969 19-y.-o. Black Panther Alex Rackley is kidnapped by fellow Black Panthers in New Haven, Conn., tortured for two days until he confesses to being an FBI informant, and murdered on May 21, after which police arrest nine Black Panthers, causing the 1970 New Haven Black Panther Trials, attended by Yale U. law student (1970-3) Hillary Clinton to monitor civil rights violations for the ACLU.

In 1970 Bill and Hillary first meet in Yale Law School, and their first date is to view a Mark Rothko exhibit.

Bob Truehaft (1912-2001)

In summer 1971 after meeting him at the Black Panther Trials, Hillary interns in San Francisco, Calif. with Robert Edward "Bob" Truehaft (1912-2001), head of the Calif. Communist Party; she really went there because it was the Mecca for pussy-eating lesbianism?; horny bill follows her to Calif., and their first date there is a Billy Graham crusade.

Marian Wright Edelman (1939-)

In 1973 Hillary receives a J.D. from Yale Law School, then stays an additional year, producing the article Children Under the Law for the Harvard Educational Review in late 1973, a discussion of the new children's rights movement, with the soundbyte that "child citizens" are "powerless individuals", arguing argued that children should not be considered equally incompetent from birth to attaining legal age, but that instead courts should presume competence except when there is evidence otherwise on a case-by-case basis; she also works as an atty. for the Children's Defense Fund, founded in 1973 in Washington, D.C. by Marian Wright Edelman (1939-), with the motto "Leave no child behind".

Peter B. Edelman (1938-) Marian Wright Edelman (1939-) John Michael Doar of the U.S. (1921-) Bernard W. Nussbaum of the U.S. (1937-)

In 1974 after being recommended by Alinskyites Peter B. Edelman (1938-) and Marian Wright Edelman (1939-) (a mixed-race couple, kinky at the time), Hillary becomes a member of the impeachment inquiry staff in Washington, D.C., advising the House Committee on the Judiciary during the Watergate Scandal under the guidance of chief counsel John Michael Doar (1921-) (asst. U.S. atty. gen. in 1960-7) and senior member Bernard W. Nussbaum (1937-), researching procedures of impeachment and the historical grounds and standards, culiminating in the resignation of Pres. Richard Nixon on Aug. 9, 1974 - please call me Misses Grammy? Too bad, she is allegedly fired by her supervisor Jerry Zeifman for "lying, unethical behavior" after she, Doar, Nussbaum et al. conspire to deny Pres. Nixon legal counsel through dirty tricks, although it is not made public, and there is no proof? This work causes her political star to rise; meanwhile longtime (since 1971) ever-ready beau Bill Clinton keeps proposing marriage, and they get in an ego war about who has the biggest balls, causing it to stall until she fails the Washington D.C. bar exam and passes the easier Ark. one, then moves to Fayetteville, Ark. in Aug. 1974 and says I do to a new job as one of only two female faculty members in the School of Law at the U. of Ark. - like a good neighbor State Farm is there?

You don't have to go the Republic of Boulder to get a same-sex marriage? On Oct. 11, 1975 Bill Clinton (b. 1946) marries fellat, er, fellow atty. Hillary Rodham (b. 1947) in Fayettevile, Ark. in a brick house he purchased for her; they first met in 1970 in Yale Law School, and their first date was to view a Mark Rothko exhibit; when she gets a summer job in Calif. he follows her and their first date there is a Billy Graham crusade (a little too close to Halloween but not close enough to be called a witch?); Hillary shocks their mothers by insisting on keeping the name Rodham; meanwhile Hillary defends her first major criminal defendant Thomas Alfred Taylor (1934-), who was accused of raping a 12-y.-o. girl, getting him off a 30-life sentence with a guilty plea to lesser charges using a legal technicality; on June 15, 2014 the Washington Free Bacon, er, Washington Free Beacon pub. an audio tape from 1983-7 of Hillary talking about the case, seeming to suggest that she knew he was guilty, with the laughing soundbyte: "I had him take a polygraph, which he passed, which forever destroyed my faith in polygraphs", also laughing when discussing how DNA evidence was accidentally destroyed by a crime lab, causing the victim to utter the soundbyte: "You took me through Hell... I realize the truth now, the heart of what you've done to me. And you're supposed to be for women? You call that for women, what you did to me? And I hear you on tape laughing" - ha ha, I brought home the bacon?

In 1976 Bill is elected atty. gen. of Ark. (salary $26.5K), and the couple moves to the state capital of Little Rock. In Feb. 1977 Hillary joins the venerable, politically-connected Rose Law Firm (founded 1820), specializing in patent infringement and intellectual property law, also working pro bono in child advocacy, rarely setting foot in court; her salary is $24.5K. In Feb. 1977 Hillary co-founds the Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families (AACF), going on to pub. more articles advocating that children have power to sue their parents, what are you wearing, Jake from State Farm. In 1978 after she served as the 1976 campaign director of field operations in Indiana for him, and Bill promises support for him in his 1980 primary against Ted Kennedy, Pres. Carter appoints Hillary to the board of directors of the Legal Services Corporation (founded by Congress in 1974 to provide free legal services to the needy), where she served until the end of 1981, becoming chmn. from mid-1978 to mid-1980 (first woman), increasing its funding from $90M to $300M, and successfully fighting the attempts of Pres. Reagan to reduce the funding and change the nature of the org.; she later becomes chmn. in a coup after defeating Carter's choice. In 1979 she became the first female partner at Rose Law Firm.

In spring 1978 the Whitewater Controversy begins when Bill Clinton's buddy James B. "Jim" McDougal (1940-98) sells the Clintons on a plan to join with him and his wife Susan in buying 230 acres of undeveloped land along the south bank of the White River near Flippin, Ark. in the Ozark Mts. in order to subdivide it into lots for vacation homes for professionals from Chicago and Detroit who were wowed by "Deliverance". They borrow $203K to buy land, then transfer ownership to the new Whitewater Development Corp. (incorporated June 18, 1979) in which they have equal shares; "One weekend here and you'll never want to live anywhere else." Too bad, the real estate market collapses, and in 1986 McDougal's Madison Guaranty is investigated for shady dealings, collapsing in 1989, costing the U.S. govt. $73M, and costing the Clintons between $37K-$69K.

In 1978 Hillary Clinton begins trading in cattle futures, turning $10K into $100K in 10 mo., causing the Cattlegate controversy; she is not charged with any wrongdoing.

On Jan. 9, 1979 Bill becomes gov. #40 of Ark (salary $35K a year) (until Jan. 19, 1981), getting in again as gov. #42 on Jan. 11, 1983 to Dec. 12, 1992. When he loses his reelection bid in 1980, Bill cries like a baby, and after perhaps blaming herself, Hillary quits using the name Hillary Rodham and goes by the name Mrs. Clinton or Hillary Rodham Clinton, eventually becoming so famous she can go by the name Hillary. While First Lady of Arkansas, Hillary leads a task force that reforms Arkansas's education system, and serves on the board of Wal-Mart and several other corps.

Oh yes, Wal-Mart. In 1986-92 Hillary sits on the board of Wal-Mart, known for low wages and poor health care and other benefits, saying nothing as it er, wages a war against labor unions seeking to represent store workers.

In 1986-7 the Iran Contra Scandal (Irangate) rocks the Reagan admin. In 1994 former Air Force Intelligence operative and CIA Agent Terry Reed pub. Compromised: Clinton, Bush and the CIA, which claims that Gov. Clinton and vice-pres. (former CIA dir.) George H.W. Bush were involved in allowing the CIA to illegally set up shop in Ark., manufacturing untraceable weapons for the Nicaragua Contras et al.

In 1988 and 1991 Nat. Law Journal lists Hillary as one of 100 most influential lawyers in the U.S.

Gennifer Flowers Tammy Wynette (1942-98) Daniel Wattenberg (1959-)

On Jan. 26, 1992 Hillary gives an Interview with Steve Kroft of 60 Minutes, in which she discusses her hubby Bill's alleged decade-long affair with Ark. state employee Gennifer Flowers (1950-), and utters the soundbyte: "I'm not sitting here like some little woman, standing by my man like Tammy Wynette", setting off a firestorm of controversy, after which Tammy Wynette (1942-98) demands and receives an apology, even though she is a Clinton supporter and later performs at a fundraiser for him; too bad, despite Bill denying any relationship with her, she airs tapes of telephone conversations he had with her, incl. admissions that Hillary is bi, surprising his own staff with his mendaciousness. In Aug. 1992 Am. journalist Daniel Eli Wattenberg (1959-) pub. an article in The American Spectator titled The Lady Macbeth of Little Rock, attacking Hillary's ideological and ethical record from a conservative perspective, causing an avalanche of articles comparing her to Lady Macbeth. In May 1995 Flowers pub. Passion and Betrayal, which incl. the soundbyte that Bill told her during their affair that Hillary was bi, and "had eaten more pussy than he had."

Stan Greenberg (1945-) Celinda Lake

On May 12, 1992 Bill Clinton pollsters Stanley Bernard "Stan" Greenberg (1945-) and Celinda Lake pub. the confidential memo Research on Hillary Clinton, which concludes that voters admire the couple's strength, but "they also fear that only someone too politically ambitious, too strong, and too ruthless could survive such controversy so well", concluding: "What voters find slick in Bill Clinton, they find ruthless in Hillary."

William Jefferson Clinton of the U.S. (1946-) Hillary Rodham Clinton of the U.S. (1947-) Al Gore (1948-) and Tipper Gore (1947-) of the U.S. Chelsea Clinton of the U.S. (1980-) Socks (1991-) and Buddy (1997-2002) Warren Minor Christopher of the U.S. (1925-2011) Bruce Babbitt of the U.S. (1938-) Leslie 'Les' Aspin Jr. of the U.S. (1938-95) Robert Bernard Reich of the U.S. (1946-) Robert Edward Rubin of the U.S. (1938-) Mike Espy of the U.S. (1953-) Federico Peña of the U.S. (1947-) Leon Panetta of the U.S. (1938-) Vernon Jordan of the U.S. (1935-) Ronald Harmon Brown of the U.S. (1941-96) Anthony Lake of the U.S. (1939-) Donna Edna Shalala of the U.S. (1941-) Carol Browner of the U.S. (1955-) Dennis B. Ross of the U.S. (1948-) Tom Foley of the U.S. (1929-2013) Joseph Stiglitz of the U.S. (1943-) Lawrence Summers of the U.S. (1954-) Zoe Baird of the U.S. (1952-) Bernard W. Nussbaum of the U.S. (1937-)

The brains of LBJ, the gonads of Elvis? On Jan. 20, 1993 Ark.-born Georgetown U. grad, Oxford Rhodes scholar (first to become pres.) and Yale Law School grad., former Ark. gov., saxophone player ("first black U.S. pres.") (first pres. whose middle name honors a predecessor) (Ronald Wilson Reagan, whose middle name was his mother's surname, was born the year before Woodrow Wilson's election) (2nd pres. who took a stepfather's surname) (first was Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr.); 3rd youngest president (Theodore Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy) (4th post-WWII pres. with Southern ancestry) (Truman, Lyndon Johnson, and Carter) ("first pres. to wear a tangerine lalalala speedo"?) (can't type) William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton (1946-) (Secret Service codename: Eagle/Elvis after his favorite singer) becomes the 42nd U.S. pres. (until 2001) in the 61st U.S. Pres. Inaguration; the 7th lefty U.S. pres. (last G.H.W. Bush); Albert Arnold "Al" Gore Jr. (1948-) (Secret Service codename: Sawhorse/Sundance) becomes the 45th U.S. vice-pres.; the 2nd time that the U.S. has six living presidents (Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton); the youngest combined age of pres. and vice-pres. (90) (until ?); Clinton's first inauguration is in keeping with his status as America's first Baby Boomer pres., and features Maya Angelou reciting her poem On the Pulse of the Morning, and Fleetwood Mac performing "Don't Stop" (Bill's favorite thing for a woman to say?), scaring conservatives half to death and crystallizing desperate all-out desires to 'get' him?; Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton (1947-) (Secret Service codename: Evergreen) becomes the first First Lady to have her own office in the White House, where it is rumored that she is the real president, has hairy balls, etc. (the first FLOTUS to become POTUS?); First Dog is Labrador retriever Buddy (1997-2002) (named after Bill's dog trainer great-uncle Henry Oren "Buddy" Grisham, who died 3 mo. before it was born in Sept.), and First Cat is Socks (1989-2009) (who was "voted out of office" when Buddy arrived, because he can't stand him); First Daughter Chelsea Victoria Clinton (1980-) (Secret Service codename: Energy) is kept out of the public spotlight; Pres. Clinton appoints Warren Minor Christopher (1925-2011) as U.S. secy. of state #63 (until Jan. 17, 1997) (not the actor William Christopher who played Father Mulcahy in M*A*S*H, he was born in 1932), Robert Edward Rubin (1938-) as U.S. treasury secy. (until 1999), Leslie "Les" Aspin Jr. (1938-95) as U.S. defense secy. #18 (until Feb. 3, 1994), Robert Bernard Reich (1946-) as U.S. labor secy. #22 (until 1997), Tex.-born former Denver, Colo. mayor (who was ousted after he failed to provide enough snowplows for a major snowstorm, making him the man for a national appointment?) Federico Fabian Pena (Peña) (1947-) (Hispanic) as U.S. transportation secy. #12 (until Feb. 14, 1997), Ronald Harmon "Ron" Brown (1941-96) (Dem. Nat. Committee chmn. since 1989) as U.S. commerce secy. #30 (until Apr. 3, 1996) (first black), and Alphonso Michael "Mike" Espy (1953-) as U.S. agriculture secy. #25 (until Dec. 31, 1994) (first black in the job); former Ariz. gov. (1978-87) Bruce Edward Babbitt (1938-) becomes U.S. interior secy. #47 (until Jan. 20, 2001); Lebanese-Am. Donna Edna Shalala (1941-) becomes HHS secy. #18 (until Jan. 20, 2001) (first Arab-Am., and longest-serving until ?); Oxford-educated William Anthony Kirsopp "Tony" Lake (1939-) becomes nat. security advisor #18 (until 1997); Leon Edward Panetta (1938-) becomes White House chief of staff (until Apr. 14, 1997); black atty. Vernon Eulion Jordan Jr. (1935-) is one of Pres. Clinton's key advisors; Lani Guinier (1950-), Clinton's first nominee (Apr.) to lead the U.S. Justice Dept.'s Civil Rights Div. is dropped in June after her writings backing racial quotas cause her to be called one of "Clinton's quota queens" by the Wall Street Journal; in 1998 she becomes the first African-Am. to receive tenure at Harvard Law School; economist Joseph Stiglitz (1943-) joins the Clinton admin. along with Lawrence Henry Summers (1954-), working up to chmn. of the Council of Economic Advisers in 1995-7, and proposing the "Third Way" of a limited but essential role of govt. in the marketplace, ending with financial deregulation incl. of derivatives; after joining the World Bank in 1997, he flops and ends up as a critic of the Bush-Obama bank bailouts; too bad, Clinton wastes his first weeks in office alienating the military by suggesting they allow gays, and by nominating non-starter Zoe (Zoë) Eliot Baird (1952-) for atty. gen., who is found to have not paid taxes on illegal, er, domestic help, which is called Nannygate; former Watergate atty. (who worked with Hillary Clinton in 1974) Bernard W. Nussbaum (1937-) becomes pres. counsel; Clinton becomes known for freewheeling brainstorming sessions with people of all ranks incl. low-ranking people who probably shouldn't be wasting his time.

In May 1993 Travelgate sees seven employees of the White House Travel Office fired for alleged improprieties during previous administrations, but soon appearing to be done to put friends in their jobs; the firings are traced to First Lady Hillary Clinton; nobody is convicted of anything.

Vince Foster of the U.S. (1945-93) Maggie Williams of the U.S. (1954-)

On July 20, 1993 Vince Walker Foster Jr. (b. 1945), deputy White House counsel during Clinton's 1st term is found dead in Ft. Marcy Park off the George Washington Parkway in Va. outside Washington, D.C.; it is officially ruled a suicide, although right-wingers spin conspiracy theories of coverups involving Pres. Clinton and Hillary; on July 20 (night) Hillary's chief of staff (1993-7) Margaret Ann "Maggie" Williams (1954-) (first African-Am. woman to hold the position) allegedly sneaks in and steals personal files from Foster's office, and later becomes Hillary's senior adviser in her 2008 pres. campaign - I will follow my leader into the very jaws of death itself? On July 22 a new nationality law directed toward curbing immigration goes into effect in France. On July 23 a cache of 12 tons of arms hidden in humanitarian aid containers is discovered in an airport in Slovenia, and the govt. is blamed for engineering it.

Kathleen Willey

On Nov. 20, 1993 White House volunteer Kathleen Willey is allegedly sexually assaulted by Bill Clinton, hugging her tightly and kissing her on the mouth, touching her breasts and genitals; later the same day her 2nd hubby Edward E. Willey Jr. commits suicide; she appears on 60 Minutes on Mar. 15, 1998; the White House claims she was chasing him; she is later found to have given false info. to the FBI, and gets nowhere with her claims; on Oct. 6, 1997 she alleges that she was flown to the Md. home of wealthy Dem. Party donor Nathan Landow and pressured to change her story - did she touch his willy? On Feb. 16, 2014 Willey utters the soundbyte: "Hillary IS the war on women... The point is what this woman is capable of doing to other women while she's running a campaign basically on women's issues. It just doesn't make any sense. She singlehandedly orchestrated every one of the investigations of all these women [who accused hubby Bill of sexual crimes]. They’re the people reminding us of how sordid this all is."

George Stephanopoulos of the U.S. (1961-)

On Dec. 11, 1993 Pres. Clinton's chief of staff George Robert Stephanopoulos (1961-) fails to turn papers over to the Washington Post clearing him and Hillary of the Whitewater Scandal, later calling it his greatest mistake.

In 1993-4 as First Lady of the United States, Hillary pushes the Socialistic Clinton Health Care Plan of 1993, but fails to get approval from the U.S. Congress; people begin to believe that she's the real president after hubby Bill calls her "the smartest woman in the world"?

On Jan. 23, 1995 Pres. Clinton issues Executive Order 12947, prohibiting financial transactions with anybody on the U.S. Treasury Dept.'s Specially Designated Terrorist List, which incl. Hamas, Hezbollah, the Holy Land Foundation, and Jemaah Islamiyah. Too bad, his admin. is soft on Islamic terrorists, allowing 9/11 to happen. In May 1996 Hillary Clinton addresses the Muslim Women's League and its parent group the Muslim Public Affairs Council (MPAC), becoming the first First Lady to address a Muslim org. outside the White House, praising them for fighting the "hatred" of Islamophobia despite their calling the Israeli response to a Palestinian bus bombing in Jerusalem a "terrorist act".

On Sept. 5, 1995 Hillary addresses a special session of the U.N. Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, lecturing China on human rights abuses with her hair let down sexily and wearing a pink suit; three days earlier her hubby Bill addressed ceremonies at Pearl Harbor commemorating the 50th anniversary of V-J Day.

William L. Safire (1929-2009)

Hillary's years as First Lady draw a polarized response from the American public, creating a hive of fierce enemies for life along with another hive of loyal followers. The only First Lady to have been subpoenaed, she testifies before a federal grand jury on Jan. 26, 1996 regarding the Whitewater controversy, but is never charged with wrongdoing in this or several other investigations during the Clinton presidency. On Jan. 8, 1996 New York Times columnist William Lewis Safire (Safir) (1929-2009) calls First Lady Hillary Clinton a "congenital liar" with regard to her role in Whitewater; the Dems. dismiss it as election year politicking.

Jean Houston (1937-)

In Jan. 1996 Hillary pub. It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us; ghostwritten by Barbara Feinman; "Children are not rugged individualists"; New York City-born Human Potential Movement leader Jean Houston (1937-) helps Hillary write the book, counseling her to imagine a meeting with Eleanor Roosevelt, which the press twists into a seance.

On Aug. 5, 1997 Bill signs the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP), providing five million children with health insurance; it is paid for by a budget deal between the Dems. and Repub. majority leader Sen. Trent Lott, with half of the money coming from the Attorney Generals' tobacco settlement, and cigarette taxes raised from 24 to 67 cents a pack; the legislation was sponsored by Dem. Mass. Sen. Ted Kennedy and Repub. Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch, but Hillary helped push it through, getting thanked by Kennedy. First Lady Hillary also plays a leading role in advocating the creation of the U.S. Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997 (Nov. 19, 1997) and the U.S. Foster Care Independence Act of 1999 (Dec. 14, 1999).

Monica Lewinsky (1973-) and Handsome Paula Jones (1966-) Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress

Sex scandal in the White House involving the head of the country brings the best Democrat president since ? to the midnight hour? On Jan. 23, 1998 the Lewinsky Scandal begins after revelations about a cum, er, semen-stained navy-blue dress of 20-something White House intern Monica Samille Lewinsky (1973-) surface in the news; U.S. Pres. Clinton, already facing sexual harassment charges by Paula Corbin Jones (1966-), is accused of having sexual relations (beejay) with Lewinsky; on Jan. 26 Clinton tells the Am. people the boner that "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky"; on Jan. 27 Hillary Clinton blames it all on a "vast right-wing conspiracy"; on Aug. 17 Clinton becomes the first U.S. pres. required to testify before a grand jury; the same day he goes on TV and admits that he had "an inappropriate relationship" with Harmonica, er, Lewinsky, hinting that oral sex is not considered sexual relations in his high power lawyerly vocabularly. The mean Puritanical Republicans loose the dogs of war? On Sept. 11 independent counsel Kenneth Star delivers the 445-page Starr Report to the U.S. House of Reps. after a 4-year $40M investigation (witch hunt?) into the Clintons; it charges Pres. Clinton with 11 impeachable offenses, all involving perjury or obstruction of justice - lying to them about personal things that they shouldn't have had the power to ask in the first place? On Oct. 5 after a House vote led by Jesuit-trained Ill. Rep. Henry Hyde (1924-2007), who utters the soundbyte "What we are telling you today are not the ravings of some vast right-wing conspiracy, but a reaffirmation of a set of values that are tarnished and dim these days, but it is given to us to restore them so our Founding Fathers would be proud", the Clinton Impeachment Inquiry begins; Calif. Rep. Gary Condit and other moderate-conservative Blue Dog Dems. vote for the inquiry; on Nov. 13 Paula Jones drops her case against Clinton for $850K; her atty. is up-and-coming Gloria Allred (1941-). The head of our country is impeached for getting out of hand with aide Monica Lewinsky? On Dec. 1 the House Judiciary Committee widens the scope of its inquiry to incl. the election campaign; on Dec. 11 it votes 21-16 to approve articles of impeachment; on Dec. 17 the House decides to postpone its impeachment vote until the Gulf Crisis is resolved; on Dec. 19 House Resolution 611 (introduced by Henry Hyde on Dec. 15) is passed, making Clinton the 1st elected U.S. pres. and 2nd U.S. pres. to be impeached (Andrew Johnson in 1868); he is impeached on two of four proposed articles by narrow partisan majorities, 228-206 for perjury to a grand jury, and 221-212 for obstruction of justice; a 2nd count of perjury in the Paula Jones case fails by 205-229, and an abuse of power count fails by 148-285; four Repubs. oppose all four articles, five Dems. vote for at least one.

'Primary Colors', 1998

On Mar. 20, 1998 Mike Nichols' Primary Colors debuts, based on the Joe Klein satire starring John Travolta as Gov. Bill Clinton, er, Jack Stanton, and Emma Thompson as his wife Hillary, er, Susan (sans a Harmonica?); the movie is really about virgin campaign mgr. Henry Burton (Adrian Lester)?; features an appearance by "J.R. Ewing" Larry Hagman as political opponent Fred Picker; does $52M on a $68M budget; "What went down on the way to the top."

'Interdimensional Clownz' by T.L. Winslow (TLW), 1998

In 1998 TLW pub. the novel Interdimensional Clownz, about a parallel world where Hillarious Clowntown of Clowncago is part of an interdimensional conspiracy during her hubby William Jefferson Clownton's Peachy Party over the Harmonica Clowninsky affair.

Lindsey Olin Graham of the U.S. (1955-) Olympia Jean Snowe of the U.S. (1947-) Susan Margaret Collins of the U.S. (1952-)

On Jan. 7, 1999 after House Judiciary Committee member (1995-2003) (R-S.C.) Lindsey Olin Graham (1955-) brings the House's case to it, the U.S. Senate begins the Clinton Impeachment Trial (2nd U.S. pres. to be tried before the Senate, after Andrew Johnson), presided over by chief justice William Rehnquist; on Feb. 12 after a motion sponsored by Olympia Jean Snowe (1947-) (R-Maine) and Susan Margaret Collins (1952-) (R-Maine) to allow the Senate to vote separately on the charges and the remedy (on the grounds that picayune perjury charges aren't grounds for removal from office), he is acquitted even though his perjury charge is 55-45 for (10 Repubs. against, 0 Dems. for); the obstruction charge is a 50-50 vote (5 Repubs. against, 0 Dems. for) - he cums close but no cigar?

On Jan. 13, 1999 Hillary is the keynote speaker at the first CURE (Citizens United for Research in Epilepsy) dinner in Chicago, Ill., with chmn. Susan Axelrod (co-founder with hubby David Axelrod) uttering the soundbyte: "Hillary Clinton is in many ways one of the founding mothers of CURE."

On Oct. 19, 1999 Am. TV journalist Walter Cronkite addresses the World Federalist Assoc., uttering the soundbyte "I'm glad to sit on the right hand of Satan" before introducing Hillary Clinton, after which he is presented the Norman Cousins Global Governance Award for supporting OWG, and disses Christian evangelists like Pat Robertson, stoking conspiracy theorists.

Yasser Arafat (1929-2004) and Suha Arafat (1963-)

In 1999 cradle-robber Yasser Arafat's wife Suha Arafat (1963-) causes an internat. uproar when she comments to U.S. First Lady Hillary Clinton that Israel had poisoned Palestinians with gas and toxic waste, leading to an increase in cancer among women and children.

Rick Lazio of the U.S. (1958-)

On Feb. 6, 2000 after purchasing a $1.7M 5-bedroom colonial home in Chappaqua, N.Y. in Sept. 1999 to qualify, ballsy U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton officially enters the N.Y. Senate race as a Dem. In May New York City mayor Rudolf Giuliani announces that he has prostate cancer and will not be a candidate for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by Daniel Patrick Moynihan, causing Repubs. to nominate Long Island rep. Enrico Anthony "Rick" Lazio (1958-); meanwhile Dems. nominate First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, another women's first.

On June 26, 2000 Hillary's "closest friend", political science prof. Diane Divers Blair (b. 1938), wife of futures trader Jim Blair, chief counsel at Tyson Foods Inc. during Cattlegate dies, leaving the Hillary Papers, incl. correspondence, diaries, interviews, strategy memos, and accounts of conversations with the Clintons from the mid-1970s, which are donated to the U. of Ark.; they are closed to the public until Mar. 9, 2010.

Paul Franklin Paul (1948-)

On Aug. 12, 2000 Hillary holds the Hollywood Farewell Gala Salute to Pres. William Jefferson Clinton in Los Angeles, Calif., featuring performers incl. Cher, raising her over $1M; too bad, she is accused of understating the fundraiser's costs, and accepting donations from convicted felon Peter Franklin Paul (1948-), former partner of "Spider-Man" creator Stan Lee, raising allegations that he is trying to get her hubby Bill Clinton to pardon him; after several years of legal wrangling she slithers out of it snakey clean. On Nov. 7 Hillary wins the election. On Dec. 30 the Clintons buy a $2.85M 5-bedroom colonial-style brick home on Whitehaven St. near Embassy Row in Washington, D.C., designating their Chappaqua, N.Y. home as their primary residence.

On Jan. 3, 2001 Hillary becomes Dem. U.S. Sen. from N.Y. (until Jan. 21, 2009). Her hubby's last day in office is Jan. 20, 2001.

Marc Rich (1934-) Hugh Edwin Rodham (1950-) Carlos Anibal Vignali Andrew G. Atkeson Daniel J. Benor (1941-) Ann Brashares (1967-) Almon Glenn Braswell

I'm calling from the White House - can you get me free tickets to the Super Bowl? On Jan. 20, 2001 in his final hours in office Pres. Clinton issues 36 commutations and 140 pardons for billionaire fugitive Jewish financier Marc (Marcell David) Rich (Reich) (1934-2013), Susan McDougal, Patricia Hearst, Henry Cisneros, John Deutch, his brother Roger Clinton et al., causing the Pardongate mini-scandal; it is later revealed that Hillary Clinton's younger brother (failed Georgian hazelnut importer) Hugh Edwin "Hughie" Rodham (1950-) received $400K to help two felons, cocaine dealer Carlos Anibal Vignali and tax dodger (Gero Vita Internat. founder) Almon Glenn Braswell (1943-2006) win clemency; after leaving office, Bill Clinton becomes one of the most successful world leaders to transition to private life, with his counselor (since 1995) Douglas J. "Doug" Band (1972-) helping him in 2005 to found the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) as a project of the William J. Clinton Foundation, which goes on to raise $46B for 1.2K philanthropic projects impacting 200M in 150 countries by the end of the decade, by which time thanks to books, speaking fees, etc. the Clantoon Gang is Oprah rich, raking in $108M before taxes by 2008.

After the Sept. 11, 2001 (9/11) Attacks, Hillary supports military action in Afghanistan and Iraq, as does Pres. Obama later, although as a senator he speaks out against the war in Iraq to get voter traction while her, er, she swings in the wind. On Oct. 9, 2002 the Dow Jones Industrial Avg. reaches its lowest point since 9/11, closing at 7,286.27, and trading as low as 7,181.47 the next day before beginning a slow climb back. On Oct. 10, 2002 U.S. Sen. (D-N.Y.) Hillary Clinton gives a speech on the Senate floor, with the soundbyte: "In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists incl. Al Qaeda members, though there is apparently no evidence of his involvement in the terrible events of September 11, 2001. It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons. Should he succeed in that endeavor, he could alter the political and security landscape of the Middle East, which as we know all too well affects American security"; on Oct. 11 the U.S. Senate votes 77-23 to pass the U.S. Iraq War Resolution, giving Pres. Bush sweeping authority to use military force in Iraq; he signs it on Oct. 16; her vote later comes back to haunt Hillary in the 2008 pres. campaign - and this bird you cannot change, Lord knows, I cant change, bye, bye, baby it's been a sweet love?

Ron Burkle (1952-) Douglas J. Band (1972-) Declan Kelly

In 2002 Bill becomes an adviser to two domestic investment funds run by the Yucaipa Cos. of "Billionaire Party Boy" (New York Post) Ron Wayne Burkle (1952-), who is involved with Dubai's ruler Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum and his Dubai Investment Group Ltd. (YGP), receiving $12M in partnership payments before walking away in 2007 as Hillary begins running for pres. That turns out to be chicken feed as Bill goes on to earn $120M in speaking fees plus $15M from the advance on his June 22, 2004 autobio. My Life. Meanwhile Bill's chief advisor Douglas J. "Doug" Band (1972-) helps him create the William J. Clinton Foundation (later the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation) in 2001, and the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) in 2005, which raises $69B for 2.1K philanthropic projects around the world, and in 2011 founds global corporate advisory firm Teneo with Irish businessman Declan Kelly (former U.S. special envoy to Northern Ireland) before ending his advisor relationship with Bill in 2013 after concerns of leveraging his ties for personal gain. Band also is responsible for negotiating with Barack Obama to make Hillary his secy. of state, after Obama called Malcolm Hoenlein, exec vice-chmn. of the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Am. Orgs. (since June 1986) to get her to do it because of her pro-Israeli credentials.

'Living History' by Hillary Rodham Clinton (1947-), 2003

On June 9, 2003 Hillary beats her hubby to the draw by pub. her autobio. Living History, becoming a bestseller (1M+ copies) after Simon & Schuster pays her an $8M advance and the U.S. Senate gives her special permission.

John David Podesta (1949-)

On July 7, 2003 Am. leftist activist (aide to Pres. Clinton) John David Podesta (1949-) founds the liberal Center for Am. Progress in Washington, D.C., which is later described as the "official Hillary Clinton think tank".

In 2006 cagey Hillary is reelected, going on to oppose the 2007 Iraq War Troop Surge. Too bad, in late 2006 Am. feminists turn against her, with former backer Nora Ephron saying "She will do anything to win", claiming she's now one of those "who believe she doesn't really take a position unless it's completely safe, who believe she has taken the concept of triangulation and pushed it to a geometric level never achieved by anyone including her own husband, who can't stand her position on the war, who don't trust her as far as you can spit", and Jane Fonda calling her "a ventriloquist for the patriarchy with a skirt and a vagina."

On Jan. 20, 2007 Hillary announces on her Web web site the formation of a pres. exploratory committee for the 2008 pres. election, with the soundbyte "I'm in, and I'm in to win." In Apr. 2007 the Clintons liquidate the blind trust set up when he became pres. in 1993 to avoid the possibility of ethical conflicts or political embarrassments.

Norman Hsu (1951-)

In Aug. 2007 Hong Kong-born major Hillary pres. campaign backer ("HillRaiser") Norman Yung Yuen Hsu (1951) is exposed by the Wall Street Journal for financial irregularities, and in Sept. the U.S. Justice Dept. begins investigating; on Aug. 31 after a warrant for a 1992 fraud conviction is finally served, he makes a $2M bail payment, then skips and is arrested on Sept. 6 in Grand Junction, Colo. in a Calif. Zephyr train headed for Chicago; on Jan. 4, 2008 he is sentenced to three years in jail; on Sept. 19 the feds charge him with running a Ponzi scheme; on Nov. 27 a federal grand jury in Manhattan indicts him for defrauding investors of $20M and violating federal campaign finance laws; on May 7, 2009 he pleads guilty to 10 counts of mail and wire fraud, and is sentenced to 24 years in prison, with release date on Aug. 12, 2030.

In the 2008 Dem. pres. primaries, Hillary starts out far ahead of the pack, then watches Obama catch up until they're running tongue in, er, neck-in-neck. Too bad, on Mar. 21, 2008 the Washington Post pub. a photo of Hillary Clinton's welcoming ceremony in Tuzla, Bosnia on Mar. 25, 1996, showing that she didn't have to run from the airplane to a waiting vehicle under sniper fire like she has recently become fond of repeating, causing her to come clean on Mar. 24 and admit she misspoke; proof that women can't face reality and shouldn't become the chief executive? On June 3 Barack Obama makes history by becoming the first African-Am. U.S. pres. delegate for a major political party, reaching the 2,118 delegates needed despite Hillary Clinton winning the 2008 South Dakota Dem. Primary by 55%-45% and not conceding until June 7, when she finally gives up trying to figure out how to strongarm him into a vice-pres. nomination and throws her support behind the Man, saying that electing him will achieve her goals of universal health care, a strong economy, and the end of the Iraq War, while calling her 18M primary twats, er, votes "18 million cracks in the glass ceiling" (I'd like to view that ceiling?); Obama also wins the 2008 Mont. Dem. Primary by 56%-41%; virtually all of Africa (not just his daddy's home country of Kenya) goes er, ape-shit with happiness at the big news?; before giving a speech in St. Paul, Minn. to celebrate his V, Obama exchanges a fist bump with wife Michelle, which Fox news anchor E.D. Hill calls a "terrorist fist jab", causing her show to be canned; meanwhile John McCain gives a speech in Kenner, La., claiming that he has stronger credentials to be an independent agent of change than Obama, and a Pew Research Center Poll indicates that only 49% of independents have a favorable impression of Obama now, vs. 62% in Feb.; Obama meets with Hillary on June 5 at the home of Calif. Sen. Dianne Feinstein, and informs her that he's not going to ask her to be his running mate, and on June 6 she holds a meeting at her Whitehaven St. home in Washington, D.C. to plan her concession speech. Too bad, despite winning far more primaries and delegates than any other female candidate in U.S. history, she loses to Ill. Sen. Barack Obama, who goes on to win the White House in the 2008 U.S. Pres. Election on Nov. 4, 2008, and make her swallow her, er, pride by accepting the job of secy. of state instead of the vice-presidency. On Feb. 11, 2014 HRC: State Secrets and the Rebirth of Hillary Clinton is pub. by Amie Parnes and Jonathan Allen, revealing that during the 2008 campaign Hillary kept an enemies hit list.

'Whos Nailin Paylin?', 2008
Who's Nailin' Paylin?! by annepinup

On Nov. 4, 2008 (election day) Jerome Tanner's XXX Hustler porno spoof film Who's Nailin' Paylin is released, starring Lisa Ann as Serra Paylin, Nina Hartley as Hilly, and Jada Fire as Condi, who get it on in hot lesbian action that's so realistic they didn't have to use actors?

As Hillary prepares to leave the Senate, she leaves a small string of minor legislation incl. changing the names on courthouses and post offices, along with four substantive pieces of legislation incl. setting up a nat. park in Puerto Rico, the Lifespan Respite Act of 2006 providing respite care for family members helping their relatives deal with Alzheimer's and other conditions, and two routine bills to aid 9/11 victims and responders which were sponsored by the entire N.Y. delegation; at least more than Obama did :)

Jeffrey Epstein (1953-)

Speaking of nailin' somebody, in 2008 horndog financier Jeffrey Edward "Jeff" Epstein (1953-) is convicted of soliciting an underage girl for prostitution, which is threatening to stink the Clintons up bigtime because in Sept. 2002 he flew Bill along with actors Kevin Spacey and Chris Tucker to Africa in his private Boeing 727 to promote Bill's anti-AIDs campaign, then flew Bill several times to his private island Little Saint James in the U.S. Virgin Islands, where he uses underage girls as sex slaves in orgies with power players incl. politicians and scientists; the madam ? was a guest at the 2010 wedding of Chelsea Clinton, welcome Madam President.

Sant Singh Chatwal

In 2008 Indian-born Sikh Sant Singh Chatwal, founder of Hampshire Hotels and Resorts and owner of the Bombay Palace restaurant chain raises $100K for Hillary's pres. campaign, becoming a trustee of the William J. Clinton Foundation and good friends with Bill and Hillary; on Apr. 17, 2014 he pleads guilty to illegal campaign contributions to "three unnamed candidates", and is sentenced on July 31 to ?.

Farah Pandith (1968-) Huma Abedin (1976-) Anthony David Weiner of the U.S. (1964-)

On Jan. 21, 2009 Hillary becomes U.S. secy. of state #67 (until Feb. 1, 2013), working for Pres. Obama. Too bad, she stinks herself up by appointing Kashmir-born Muslim Farah Pandith (1968-) as her special rep to fairly pander with, er, to Muslim communities, where's the special reps for other religious groups or is this an acknowledgement that Islam is a religious-political combo. Her deputy chief of staff is Saudi-raised Muslim Huma Mahmood Abedin (1976-) (once rumored to be her lesbian lover), whose mother Saleha Abedin belonged to the Muslim Sisterhood, a branch of the Muslim Brotherhood, and whose brother Hassan Abedin works at the infamous Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies, whose board is loaded with Muslim Brotherhood members, and who has Turkish pres. Abdullah Gul, a follower of infamous Fethullah Gulen among its trustees; did I mention that the Clintons helped Gulen flee to the U.S. after being indicted in Turkey in 2000? Funny, but on July 10, 2010 Huma married a kike, er, Jew, U.S. Rep. (D-N.Y.) (1999-) Anthony David Weiner (1964-), although Islamic Sharia declares the marriage null and void, perhaps that's why Weiner was regularly showing his wiener on the Internet to other women until he got caught in June 2011, I loved you from the first moment I saw you. Obviously, the Abedins are puppets of the Saudis, oil money works to unlock any lock, ooh la la.

The Reset Button, Mar. 6, 2009

On Feb. 23, 2009 the Obama admin. announces $900M in aid for Hamas to help rebuild Gaza after the Israeli attack; meanwhile U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton appoints longtime pres. adviser Dennis B. Ross (1948-) as special adviser for the Persian Gulf and SW Asia (until Nov. 10, 2011). On Mar. 1-4 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Rodham Clinton makes her first official visit to the Middle East, meeting with lame duck Israeli PM Ehud Olmert and PM-designate Benjamin Netanyahu, and declaring U.S. support for Israel "unshakeable" while saying that the Palestinian Authority is the "only legitimate government of the Palestinian people", and going after the Israelis for withholding aid to Gaza. On Mar. 5 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton proposes an internat. meeting on Afghanistan to incl. "key regional and strategic countries" incl. Iran, even though on Mar. 5 she accused its leaders of fomenting divisions in the Arab world, promoting terrorism, threatening Israel and Europe, and seeking to "intimidate as far as they think their voice can reach". On Mar. 6 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton presents her Russian counterpart Sergei Lavrov in Geneva with a mock reset button, but the label is misworded to read "overcharge" instead; it was swiped from a Jacuzzi in Geneva; on Mar. 20 a U.S. delegation led by Henry Kissinger meets with Russian pres. (since May 7) Dmitri Medvedev (1965-), calling it an attempt to "press the reset button" on U.S.-Russian relations. On Mar. 20 Pres. Osama, er, Obama releases a Special Video Message to the People of Iran: A New Year, a New Beginning, offering a "new day" in U.S.-Iraq relations, calling it the Islamic Repub. to stroke their leaders, who brush it aside with the reply that Washington must show concrete change first, then inaugurate their first nuclear fuel manufacturing plant on Apr. 8; on May 5 U.S. defense secy. Robert Gates assures U.S. allies in the Middle East that their relationships with the U.S. won't be damaged by Obama's naive, er, open dialoguing efforts. On Mar. 26 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton admits that the U.S. shares responsibility with Mexico for its drug violence, with the soundbyte that traffickers "are motivated by the demand for illegal drugs in the United States, and are armed by the transfer of weapons from the United States"; meanwhile the U.S. DREAM (Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors) Act is introduced into the U.S. Congress, providing undocumented immigrant students citizenship after they graduate from h.s. and earn a 2-year college degree or serve in the military for two years; too bad, it fails in the Senate by a 44-52 vote.

On Apr. 24, 2009 Pres. Obama commemorates the anniv. of the 1915 Armenian genocide of 1.5M by the Muslim Turks with a written statement calling it "one of the great atrocities of the 20th century", but reneging on a campaign promise to label it as genocide, pissing off Armenian-Ams.; on Oct. 10 they sign a historic agreement to establish diplomatic ties after a dramatic last-minute intervention by U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton to make it happen; the real reason Turkey wants to improve relations with Armenia is to get it to drop claims to the Nagorno-Karabakh region so they can pipe C Asian gas through Azerbaijan? - Armenians should all get govt.-paid fertility treatments and become octomoms and octodads to make up for the genocide? On Apr. 25 Obama's secretary, er, U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton makes a surprise visit to Baghdad, Iraq, and holds a town hall style meeting in the U.S. embassy, promising the Iraqi people that the Obama admin. will, er, won't abandon them as the U.S. begins pulling out troops; meanwhile four suicide bombings in the last two days kill 160+.

On May 25, 2009 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton announces that partners of gay U.S. diplomats will be given the same benefits as spouses of hetero diplomats - I need to blow that dude, let me through now? On May 28 after Israel rejects U.S. overtures to stop settlement construction on the West Bank, Pres. Obama personally steps in and tries to pressure it while meeting with Palestinian pres. Mahmud Abbas; it was Hillary Clinton who demanded a freeze on new home construction in existing settlements, making a new issue of it, killing all peace talks?

On Aug. 6, 2009 on an 11-day tour of seven countries in Africa, U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton speaks in Kenya, saying that it is a "great regret" that the U.S. is not a member of the Internat. Criminal Court that tries people for genocide and crimes against humanity - if it joined then every U.S. politician back to George Washington would be indicted?

On Oct. 27, 2009 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton breaks with Pres. Obama on his support of the hijacking of the U.N. by Muslims who seek to get a resolution passed against "defamation of religion" (really, only theirs), saying "An individual's ability to practice his or her religion has no bearing on others' freedom of speech." On Oct. 28 a car bomb detonates in the crowded market street of Peepal Mandi in Islamabad, Pakistan, killing 100, mostly women just hours after Hillary Clinton arrives and pledges a fresh start in strained relations, becoming the deadliest terrorist attack since the 2007 assassination of Benazir Bhutto.

On Jan. 6, 2010 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton says that troubled countries like Yemen need development aid along with diplomacy and air strikes to fulfill U.S. security interests; on Jan. 6 Yemeni foreign minister Abu Bakr al-Qirbi chimes in and says that Yemen doesn't welcome U.S. and foreign troops, even for training and logistical support. On Jan. 8 Obama admin. spokesmen Hillary Clinton and George Mitchell change the U.S. Mideast peace approach, stepping up pressure on Israel and the Palestinians to resume stalled talks by moving straight to negotiations on the toughest issues, incl. borders of a Palestinian state and the status of Jerusalem; on Mar. 12 Hillary rebukes Israel for building new settlements in E Jerusalem, causing the Zionist Org. of Am. to send her a letter on Mar. 28 asking her to apologize to her former constituents in New York for promising to support an undivided Jerusalem as Israel's capital, and former New York mayor Ed Koch to say that he is "close" to "getting off the Obama train". On Jan. 13 Google Inc. announces that it discovered a massive attempt to hack into its email accounts of Chinese dissidents, and is responding by stopping its censoring of search results in China; China censors the news of it, after which on Jan. 14 its official spokesperson Jiang Yu claims that "China's Internet is open", and that the govt. prohibits e-mail hacking; on Jan. 21 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton gives a Speech on Internet Freedom, singling out China, drew analogies between the Iron Curtain and the free and unfree Internet, pissing them off and causing them on Jan. 22 to tell the U.S. govt. "to respect the truth and to stop using the co-called Internet freedom question to level baseless accusations", then on Jan. 24 they pub. an article in People's Daily accusing the U.S. of controlling the Internet in the name of Internet freedom and mounting a "hacker brigade" to foment unrest in Iran; on Mar. 22 after a Chinese official Googles himself and finds material critical of himself, ordering a crackdown, another official claims China can live without Google, and they get into a mini-war for 2 mo., Google announces that it's closing its China-based Web site and redirecting traffic to an uncensored site in Hong Kong, which the Chinese will censor; on July 9 China gives Google a green light to keep its search page. On Jan. 21 the U.S. Supreme Court rules 5-4 in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission that corps. can spend freely on political campaigns, and don't have to go through PACs; justice John Paul Stevens writes the dissenting opinion, dissing the court for stretching its jurisdiction over the film "Hillary: The Movie" in order to create a broad sweeping opinion; the Obama admin. responds with the U.S. Disclosure Act to get around it, which Repubs. unite to stop from passing with a filibuster; in Mar. the IRS begins closely scrutinizing orgs. with certain words in their names that are applying for tax-exempt status under Section 501(c)(4), developing the "Be on the Look Out List" in Aug.; too bad, it flags the words "Tea Party", "patriots", "Israel", "occupy", "progressive", and "9/12 Project", leading to the 2013 IRS Scandal. On Jan. 29 Hillary Clinton warns China that it risks diplomatic isolation and disruption to its energy supplies unless it helps stop Iran from developing nukes.

On Feb. 7, 2010 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton gives an nterview to CNN, stating that she considers WMDs in the hands of Islamic terrorists to be the #1 security threat of the U.S., not a nuclear-armed Iran, calling al-Qaida "a very committed, clever, diabolical group of terrorists who are always looking for weaknesses and openings". On Feb. 14 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton visits Doha, Qatar as part of a 3-day regional visit, and calls for Iran's religious and political leaders to rise up against the Rev. Guards, saying that they're moving it toward a military dictatorship; on Feb. 15 she visits Jeddah, Saudi Arabia and suggests that evidence points to Iran seeking nuclear weapons, saying it would create "quite dangerous" problems if they get them; meanwhile Iranian pres. Imadinnajacket says that Iran will suspend its uranium enrichment in exchange for processed fuel rods from abroad, but says that the swap must be "simultaneous"; at a town hall meeting in the all-women's Dar Al Hekma College, Hillary Clinton is asked if she'd leave the U.S. if Sarah Palin becomes U.S. pres., and she says no, but "I will be visiting as often as I can"; on Feb. 17 Iranian supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei accuses the U.S. of warmongering and of turning the Persian Gulf into an "arms depot". On Feb. 24 Iranian pres. Imadinnajacket visits Damascus, Syria to visit his pal Bashar al-Assad, and says that Arab nations will establish a Middle East "without Zionists and without colonialists", and that Iran, Syria, Iraq, and Lebanon will stand against Israel, causing U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton to tell the U.S. Senate that the Obama admin. is urging Syria to back off from its "deeply troubling" relationship with Iran, but will go through with its appointment of an ambassador to Syria for the first time since the 2005 assassination of Lebanese PM Rafik Hariri; al-Assad shrugs her off - I smell a coup?

On Mar. 12, 2010 Israel seals off the West Bank amid tensions in Jerusalem over plans to build new homes for Jews, which U.S. vice-pres. Joe Biden criticized during his recent visit; Hillary Clinton gives PM Benjamin Netanyahu a 43-min. telephone harangue, telling them that the Israeli govt. "needed to demonstrate not just through words but through specific actions that they are committed to this [bilateral] relationship and to the peace process." On Mar. 18 Iranian-Am. businessman Hassan Nemazee, who raised campaign money for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama pleads guilty to defrauding Bank of Am. Corp., Citigroup Inc., and HSBC Holdings Plc of $292M by obtaining huge loans based on fake collateral documents; on July 15 he is sentenced to 12 years in prison. On Mar. 26 the 1.2K-ton South Korean naval ship Cheonan sinks off Baengnyeong Island in South Korea, killing 26 marines; on May 21 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton condemns North Korea for the torpedo attack, promising to marshal an internat. response with Japan, China, and other countries, with the soundbyte that "provocative actions have consequences"; North Korea warns of war if punished.

On Apr. 22, 2010 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton addresses a meeting of NATO foreign ministers, resisting their pressure to remove U.S. battlefield weapons from Europe unless Russia cuts its arsenal first, since it's 10x larger.

On May 1, 2010 the 2010 U.S. Commission on Internat. Religious Freedom Report concludes that Pres. Obama is failing to talk about or fight for religious freedom around the world incl. Nigeria, and expresses alarm at Pres. Obama and Hillary Clinton phasing-out the term "freedom of religion" for the Muslim superiority version "freedom of worship" in public pronouncements, despite the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment's wording about free exercise of religion - not Muslim salami baloneys in public with hog callers and prayer towers? On May 3-28 the 189 signatories to the 1970 Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty meet at the U.N. in New York City; on May 3 Iranian pres. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad attends, claiming that the U.S. has failed its obligations, started a global nuclear arms race, and dismissing the prospect of "nuclear terrorism", causing the U.S., Britain, and France to walk out; later U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton gives a speech, dissing Iran for disregarding the treaty; U.N. secy.-gen. Ban Ki-moon utters the soundbyte that "the onus is on Iran" to prove it's not building nukes; Egypt calls for a Middle East nuclear-free zone that incl. Israel; meanwhile David Hale, deputy of U.S. Middle Envoy envoy George Mitchell tells Palestinian pres. Mahmoud Abbas that if there is "significantly provocative settlement activity" in E Jerusalem et al., the U.S. might allow U.N. Security Council resolutions condemning Israel to pass for the first time ever. On May 12 the govt. of Yemen announces that it refuses to extradite U.S.-born jihadist cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, saying he will be tried in the Arabian Peninsula when captured. On May 12 Pres. Obama and Afghan Pres. Hamid Karzai make a joint appearance at the White House, and Obama says that U.S. military action in Afghanistan and the surrounding region is "in our national security interests" because of recent terrorist plots in the U.S. that have ties to the region, while seeming open to the idea of negotiating and reconciling with elements of the Taliban; on May 13 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton vows that despite Karzai's plan to reintroduce Taliban extremists into society, the U.S. will not abandon the women of Afghanistan to Sharia. On May 24 Pres. Obama orders the U.S. military to coordinate with South Korea to "ensure readiness" for possible aggression by North Korea; on May 25 North Korea severs all ties with South Korea as tensions soar; on May 26 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton leaves Beijing after two days and arrives in Seoul in a show of support. On June 22 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton attends a Gay Pride Month celebration, and encourages U.S. State Dept. employees to let their teenie kids know that it's okay to be gay.

On July 3, 2010 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton utters the soundbyte that intolerant govts. across the world are "slowly crushing" activist and advocacy groups, singling out Cuba, Iran, Venezuela, Russia, China, Egypt, Ethopia, Zimbabwe, and Congo. On July 11 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton utters the soundbyte that Syrian pres. Bashar al-Assad has lost his legitimacy, pissing him and his govt. off. On July 15 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton addresses the Org. of the Islamic Conference (OIC) in Istanbul, Turkey, with the soundbyte: "The Human Rights Council has given us a comprehensive framework for addressing this issue on the international level. But at the same time, we each have to work to do more to promote respect for religious differences in our own countries. In the United States, I will admit, there are people who still feel vulnerable or marginalized as a result of their religious beliefs. And we have seen how the incendiary actions of just a very few people, a handful in a country of nearly 300 million, can create wide ripples of intolerance. We also understand that, for 235 years, freedom of expression has been a universal right at the core of our democracy. So we are focused on promoting interfaith education and collaboration, enforcing antidiscrimination laws, protecting the rights of all people to worship as they choose, and to use some old-fashioned techniques of peer pressure and shaming, so that people don’t feel that they have the support to do what we abhor"; on July 16 she speaks at a coffee house in Istanbul, and criticizes Turkey's human rights record, incl. lack of religious freedom, censorship of the Internet, and improper detention of 50 journalists during the Sledgehammer Coup last year, but adds that it is "one of the most exciting places in the world" because of ties to both Eastern and Western cultures. On July 19 Hillary Clinton announces $500M in new development projects for Pakistan to help it fight the Taliban and al-Qaida - or to finance them? In July the U.S. Agency for Internat. Development (USAID) secretly creates ZunZuneo, a "Cuban Twitter" social network that they try to use to organize "smart mobs" to trigger a Cuban spring; it peaks at 40K users; when its cover is blown, USAid won't say who approved the program or whether the White House had knowledge, becoming a potential scandal for U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton.

On Aug. 20, 2010 Hillary Clinton announces new Israeli-Palestinian talks, with Benjamin Netanyahu and Mahmoud Abbas promising a 1-year time limit, and Pres. Obama to invite them to Washington on Sept. 2; too bad, on Aug. 24 leftist Palestinian factions meet in Ramallah to protest Mahmoud Abbas' decision to accept the U.S. invitation, causing a security crackdown; on Aug. 27 Mahmoud Al-Habbash gives a Fri. sermon with Abbas in the audience, with the soundbyte "Jerusalem can ignite a thousand and one wars", and that there will never be peace until Jerusalem becomes the capital of the Palestinian people; on Sept. 1 Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu utters the soundbyte "President Abbas, you are my partner in peace"; too bad, on Sept. 7 Mahmoud Abbas tells the press that he will not recognize a Jewish state, adding that his position is no different from Yasser Arafat's, and his staff is the same; on Oct. 13 the Palestinians demand that the U.S. and Israel provide a map of the borders of the proposed state of Israel that they want them to recognize, knowing they won't since it might cause a Jewish civil war?

On Sept. 7, 2010 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton hosts a Ramadan dinner with Muslims on Capitol Hill - does she wear a burqa? On Sept. 10 a record 25 are killed by drug gangs in Juarez, Mexico; meanwhile 85 inmates scale the walls of Reynosa Prison and escape, while Pres. Felipe Calderon denies a statement by Hillary Clinton that Mexico resembles Colombia in the 1990s, saying "We face an increasing threat from a well-organized network, drug-trafficking threat that is, in some cases, morphing into, or making common cause with, what we would consider an insurgency." On Sept. 16 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton leaves the Middle East with no sign of breakthrough in Israeli-Palestinian peace talks after three days. On Sept. 20 Turkish pres. Abdullah Gul abruptly cancels a planned meeting with Israeli pres. Shimon Peres at Bill Clinton's Millennium Challenge after Peres won't apologize for the Gaza Flotilla incident, but meets with Israel-hating Iranian pres. Imadinnajacket, who on Sept. 21 addresses the U.N. Gen. Assembly, saying that Capitalism is failing, and that a "pure, righteous and glorious" NWO should be created, and warning the U.S. that if its nuclear facilities are attacked, it will start a war "without boundaries", and that "war is not just bombs", also calling Hillary Clinton "an enemy of Iran", and saying that "the Zionist regime is finished" and can't attack Iran, so they're not even planning for an attack; meanwhile French pres. Nicolas Sarkozy vows a fight on world poverty, pledging to boost aid to the world's poorest by 20% over three years and inviting other nations to join. On Sept. 22 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton congratulates Saudi King Abdullah on Saudi Arabia's nat. day, praising him for his Arab Peace Initiative calling for Israeli withdrawl back to pre-1967 boundaries, with East Jerusalem as capital of a Palestinian state.

On Dec. 5, 2010 WikiLeaks reveals that Obama admin. officials admit that they have failed to shut down the money pipeline to Islamic terrorists after nine years of trying, with Hillary Clinton sending a classified memo saying: "It has been an ongoing challenge to persuade Saudi officials to treat terrorist financing emanating from Saudi Arabia as a strategic priority. Donors in Saudi Arabia constitute the most significant source of funding to Sunni terrorist groups worldwide."

As secy. of state Hillary was at the forefront of the U.S. response to the Arab Spring of 2011, advocating for U.S. military intervention in Libya.

Gabrielle Giffords of the U.S. (1970-)

On Jan. 8, 2011 (Sat.) U.S. Rep. (D-Ariz.) (2007-) Gabrielle Dee "Gabby" Giffords (1970-), first Jewish congresswoman from Ariz. is shot in the head during a public event in Tucson outside a Safeway store by er, lone gunman Jared Lee Loughner (1988-), a mixed-up white leftist-rightist pothead whose favorite books are the Communist Manifesto and Mein Kampf, and is against the abandonment of the gold standard; he is captured; six others are killed, incl. federal judge (1991-) John McCarthy Roll (b. 1947) and 9-y.-o. Christina-Taylor Green; 13 are injured; on Dec. 6 Gifford read the First Amendment to the House; Gifford's last Tweet said "My 1st Congress on Your Corner starts now. Please stop by to let me know what is on your mind or tweet me later"; the leftist PC media knee-jerks by blaming the Tea Party and/or Sarah Palin for the shooting, causing her on Jan. 11 to release a video calling the politicization of the shooting a "reprehensible... blood libel"; 20-y.-o. gay political intern Daniel Hernandez (1990-) becomes a hero for helping save Giffords by applying pressure to her wounds; on Jan. 10 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton gives a townhall interview in Abu Dhabi, and comments that Gifford's shooter is like Islamic extremists in other countries, pissing them off and causing her to flop; on Jan. 12 Pres. Obama delivers a eulogy before an overflow crowd at Ariz. Stadium at the U. of Ariz., with the soundbytes: "Gabby opened her eyes for the first time", and "The hopes of a nation are here tonight. We mourn with you for the fallen"; after dissing leftist comments that the shooter was motivated by rightist politics, he calls on the country to start "talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds"; the speech is his biggest hit ever, causing his popularity rating to go positive for the 1st time since last May 18; N.Y. Dem. Rep. Carolyn McCarthy uses the shooting as an excuse for introducing legislation prohibiting high-capacity gun magazines; on Jan. 15 shooting victim James Eric Fuller is arrested at a town hall meeting for shouting "You're dead" to Tea Party spokesman Trent Humphries, and is committed for psychiatric evaluation. On Jan. 10 Turkish pres. Abdullah Gul stages a historic visit to Yemen to establish relations, followed on Jan. 11 by U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton. On Jan. 13 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton tells Arab leaders in Doha, Qatar that unless they enact political and economic reforms and deal with other problems like depleting oil and water reserves, they will face consequences incl. radical extremist rebellion; meanwhile Turkish PM Tayyep Recep Erdogan calls the Israeli govt. of PM Benjamin Netanyahu the worst in the history of Israel, and urges the Israeli public to "get rid" of him, denying that Hamas is a terrorist org.

On Jan. 25, 2011 (Egyptian Nat. Police Day) the 2011 Egyptian (Papyrus) Rev. in Tahrir (Liberation) Square in Cairo begins with Tunisian-copycat violent demonstrations against the govt. of pres. Hosni Mubarak, sparked by a video blog by activist Asmaa Mahfouz (1985-); they are followed by calls for a 2-day nat. strike; Coptic pope Shenouda III orders Copts to not participate for fear of a Muslim Brotherhood takeover; on Jan. 25 Mubarak's son and heir Gamal Mubarak flees to Britain with his family; on Jan. 26 IAEA dir.-gen. (1997-2009) (mistruster of the U.S., accused of pro-Iranian ties) (Gandhi lookalike?) Mohamed ElBaradei (1942-) returns to Egypt, expecting to lead the protesters; on Jan. 27 the Egyptian stock exchange plunges 6.25% in 15 min., causing trading to halt and the Egyptian govt. to cut off Internet access (first time in Internet history?); on Feb. 2 Internet service is restored; on Jan. 27-28 U.S. homeland security secy. Janet Napolitano secretly meets with Muslim, Arab, and Sikh "community leaders, incl. three orgs. associated with the Muslim Brotherhood; on Jan. 28 the Egyptian military deploys in Cairo under curfew, killing Egyptian protester Sally Zahran (b. 1987-), causing NASA to name a spaceship after her; police use U.S.-made tear gas canisters; after police use rubber bullets and pellet guns on the protesters, 3.8K suffer serious eye injuries, and 1.5K lose one eye; on Jan. 28 Mubarak dismisses his govt., then names a new one on Jan. 29, causing U.S. stocks to take a dip on Jan. 28; on Jan. 29 mobs ignore curfew and set fire to Mubarak's ruling party HQ and state security bldgs., confronting the military, with a Tiananmen Square deja vu moment; Mubarak's wife Suzanne and sons Alaa and Gamal flee to London, while Israel severs diplomatic relations and flies out 200 members of Israeli diplomatic families, and several Arab nations do ditto; on Jan. 29 (Day 5) after giving the order for police to fire on crowds, only to see troops switch sides to the protesters, Mubarak appoints his first-ever pres. and successor, intel head Omar Suleiman (known for orchestrating the brutal interrogation of terror suspects abducted by the CIA, then passing intel info. to the U.S.), passing over his groomed son Gamal Mubarak, and appoints Ahmad Nazif as PM, while IAEA dir. gen. Mohamed ElBaradai announces that "the state of Egypt is in a state of collapse", calling upon the Egyptian army "to take the side of the people" and for Mubarak to step down; on Jan. 29 an escape attempt at Abu Zaabal Prison in Cairo results in eight killed and 123 wounded; on Jan. 29 an assassination attempt is made on Omar Suleiman, killing two bodyguards; on Jan. 28 White House press secy. Robert Gibbs calls for Egypt to turn the Internet and social media back on, after which Chip Reid of CBS asks him "why is the president not standing where you're standing right now?", after which Pres. Obama speaks from the White House State dining room, revelaing that he spoke with Mubarak and told him that "he has a responsibility to give meaning" to the words of his recent speech, and calling on the Egyptian govt. to "refrain from any violence on peaceful protesters"; on Jan. 28 Iranian Ayatollah Ahmad Khatami says that the U.S. dream of creating a new Middle East it dominates isn't coming true, and that a new Middle East based on Islamic principles is taking shape; on Jan. 28 after looters break into the King Tutankhamen collection and destroy two Pharonic mummies, the Egyptian army storms the Egyptian Nat. Museum at Tahrir Square in Cairo to protect it from looters, after which students form a human chain to help them as the army starts disappearing and anarchy reigns; on Jan. 28 leading Egyptian Islamic scholar Saeed Amer of Al Azhar says that protests that cause violence are forbidden (haram) in Islam; on Jan. 29 the Egyptian army surrounds the U.S. and U.K. embassies to prevent a repeat of 1979 Iran?; on Jan. 29 Saudi king Abdullah slams Egyptian protesters as "infiltrators", and says Mubarak "reassured" him about the situation, then begins opening his checkbook and spending $130B in his own country to forestall any Egypt-style revolt; on Jan. 30 the U.S. tells its citizens to leave Egypt as soon as possible, while the Egyptian govt. pulls the license for Al Jazeera Network, which had been broadcasting the protests lives on the Internet; on Jan. 30 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton calls for the Egyptian govt. to conduct elections, while protesters in Alexandria begin shouting anti-U.S. and anti-Israel slogans, and armed gunmen from Hamas cross from Gaza into N Sinai to attack and push back Egyptian forces on orders of the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood in order to open a new front against the Mubarak regime, causing Hamas to close the Rafah border crossing after Egyptian guards flee their posts; on Jan. 31 Cairo Airport is jammed with foreigners trying to escape, while Hillary Clinton convenes an unprecedented mass meeting of U.S. ambassadors from nearly all of its 260 embassies and other posts in 180 countries; on Jan. 31 Mubarak swears in a new cabinet, while Hamas shoots Grad rockets from Gaza to the S Israeli cities of Ofakim and Netivot, and a Qasam rocket to Eshkol, and Israeli security officials report that "something big" was smuggled from Egypt into the Gaza Strip; on Jan. 31 former U.S. ambassador to Egypt Frank Wisner holds a secret meeting in Cairo with senior Muslim Brotherhood leader Issam El-Erian; on Feb. 1 White House press secy. announces that the new Egyptian govt. must incl. a "whole host of important non-secular actors", becoming the first time that the U.S. govt. supports granting a govt. role to the Muslim Brotherhood, which wants to exterminate Israel, and calls for a referendum on the 1979 Israeli-Egyptian peace treaty; meanwhile the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood waits in the wings for a possible Islamist takeover, with leader Mohamed Ghanem calling on Egypt to stop pumping gas to Israel and prepare for a war with it; polls show that only 27% of Egyptians support modernizers, while 59% support Islamists incl. Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood, causing commentators to conclude that Egyptians want Mubarak ousted because of his non-belligerent stance toward Israel and U.S. ties; on Feb. 1 Pres. Obama's envoy Frank Wisner suggest to Mubarak not to run for reelection, which he accepts, insisting on stay in power until Sept. elections, while U.S. ambassador Margaret Scobey talks with Mohamed ElBaradei; Pres. Obama gives a news conference, calling for an "orderly transition" which "must begin now", saying that Mubarak "recognizes that the status quo is not sustainable and that a change must take place"; too bad, the protesters want Mubarak out immediately, and vow to stay in the streets until he goes; on Feb. 2 (Bloody Wed.) Mubarak and anti-Mubarak forces clash in Tahrir Square, with anti-Mubarak protesters claiming that some of the opposition protesters are security personnel dressed in civilian clothing, while others ride camels and horses and are armed with clubs, injuring 1.5K and killing three; CNN's Anderson Cooper gets caught in the middle of the protesters and punched 10x; four Israeli journalists are arrested in Cairo; on Feb. 2 ElBaradei orders Mubarak to leave Egypt by Feb. 5 (Fri.) or he'll be a "dead man walking", to which Mubarak replies "This dear country is my country... and I will die on its land"; on Feb. 2 Iranian spokesman Ramin Mehmanparast claims that the U.S. is trying "to prevent the tremendous movement of Egypt's magnanimous nation", calling the dispatch of Frank Wisner part of a scheme aimed at "devising deviatory plots"; on Feb. 3 ("Day of Departure") anti-govt. protesters take over the Oct. 6 Bridge, while chaos grips Cairo, causing the army to move in and the U.S. to recall envoy Frank Wisner, while Omar Suleiman invites the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood to a nat. dialog, and the U.S. Senate unanimously approves a resolution calling on Mubarak to create a caretaker govt. but not step down; on Feb. 3 former Israeli cabinet minister Binyamin Ben-Eliezer says that the U.S. doesn't realize the catastrophe they're pushing the Middle East into because Mubarak kept the peace with Israel; on Feb. 3 Mubarak grants an exclusive interview with ABC-TV's Christiane Amanpour, telling her that he'd like to resign but can't because the country would plunge into chaos; on Feb. 4 (Departure Fri.) while journalists are being rounded up, beaten, and threatened, Pres. Obama gives a press conference on Egypt, saying that the "entire world is watching", that the U.S. can't decide Egypt's fate, that "suppression is not going to work", and Mubarak "cares about his country - he is proud, but he's also a patriot", and should be asking himself "How do I leave a legacy behind in which Egypt is able to get through this transformative period... and my hope is that he will end up making the right decision"; on Feb. 5 (a.m.) masked men attack the Israeli-Egyptian gas pipeline in El-Arish, Egypt in N Sinai, causing Israel to deploy military forces to demilitarized Sinai, and more on Feb. 16; on Feb. 5 Mubarak meets with his economic ministers in the hopes that curing the unemployment and food price problems might save him; on Feb. 5 France announces that it has suspended sales of arms and riot equipment to Egypt; on Feb. 6 Suleiman forms a constitutional reform committee with opposition groups incl. the liberal Wafd Party, the leftist Tagammu Party, and the Muslim Brotherhood, and agrees to end the 30-y.-o. emergency law, permit press freedom, and release those detained during the protests, with Hillary Clinton saying "Today we learned the Muslim Brotherhood decided to participate, which suggest they at least are now involved in the dialogue that we have encouraged", saying she would "wait and see"; meanwhile Mohamed ElBaradei slams the talks because he wasn't invited, and says they lack credibility; on Feb. 6 Jordanian prince El-Hassan bin Talaal urges that the Muslim Brotherhood not be excluded from a future Egyptian govt.; on Feb. 7 Human Rights Watch announces that 297 were killed during the protests; on Feb. 8 new crowds in Tahrir Square celebrating the release of Wael Ghonim incl. middle class protesters; on Feb. 8 Iranian defense minister Brig. Gen. Ahmad Vahidi claims that the Egyptian uprising is inspired by the 1979 Iranian Rev.; on Feb. 9 strikes erupt around the country, while Al-Qaeda in Iraq urges Egyptians to wage jihad and establish an Islamist govt.; on Feb. 10 Pres. Obama calls for an "orderly and genuine" transition to democracy, and claims that Mubarak will step down; on Feb. 10 Mubarak delivers an Address to the Egyptian People, saying he won't quit and needs to stay in power until the Sept. elections, causing pissing off the crowd in Tahrir Square, who angrily wave their shoes at him, after which Pres. Obama questions whether his pledge to shift power to his vice-pres. is "immediate, meaningful or sufficient"; on Feb. 10 Iran puts opposition leader Mahdi Karroubi under arrest for asking permission to hold a rally on Feb. 14 in support of the uprisings; meanwhile rumors of the death of Saudi King Abdullah after a phone call with Pres. Obama in which he warned him not to humiliate Mubarak surface; on Feb. 11 (Day 18) after protesters move to the Ittihadiya pres. palace in the Cairo suburb of Heliopolis and threaten massive protests in Tahrir Square, more rumors surface that Mubarak and his family have fled Cairo for Sharm el-Sheikh, followed by an announcement that he has stepped down and transferred power to the military supreme council, with the soundbyte "In the name of Allah the Merciful, the Compassionate: Citizens, during these very difficult circumstances Egypt is going through, President Hosni Mubarak has decided to step down from the office of president of the republic and has charged the high council of the armed forces to administer the affairs of the country. May Allah help everybody"; Rachel Maddow of MSNBC calls it "a Berlin Wall moment"; vice-pres. Joe Biden calls it a "pivotal moment in history", adding "The United States has largely spoken with one voice"; before stepping down, Mubarak called former Israeli minister Benjamin Ben-Elizier and slammed the U.S., saying that the U.S. push for democracy will result in an Islamist takeover; on Feb. 11 Pres. Obama delivers a Speech on the Resignation of Mubarak, praising the protesters for changing "the arc of history" (from a quote by MLK Jr.), through non-violence not "terrorism and mindless killing", saying that by stepping down, Mubarak "responded to the people's hunger for change", but "this is not the end", adding "What is clear... is my elief that an orderly transition must be meaningful, it must be peaceful, and it must begin now"; Robert Gibbs resigns the same day, with Obama uttering the soundbyte that he's not the biggest resignation news of the day; Switzerland wastes no time in freezing Mubarak's assets; on Feb. 11 Iranian pres. Imadinnajacket praises the Egyptian uprising as proof that a new Middle East is emerging that will break free of U.S. "interference" and doom Israel; on Feb. 11 South African CBS reporter Lara Logan (1971-) is assaulted by a 200-man Muslim mob shouting "Jew! Jew!", who beat and sexually assault her; on Feb. 12 the Egyptian military pledges to hand power to a civilian grovt. and abide by its peace treaty with Israel, then on Feb. 13 after large demonstrations of police, public and private sector workers, along with rallies to attempt to clear the name of the police for use of force against protesters, it dissolves parliament, suspends the constitution, and calls for elections in 6 mo., and on Feb. 14 issues Communique No. 5 to dozens of remaining protesters to leave Tahrir Square, calling for them to go back to work for nat. solidarity and to restore the economy; on Feb. 15 the Muslim Brotherhood announces the formation of a new political party, but pledges it won't field a pres. candidate in the next election; too bad, the committee appointed to draw up a new constitution in 10 days is headed by a fundamentalist Islamic judge, who refuses to remove Article 2 that makes Islam the state religion and makes Sharia the main source of law, becoming a V for the Muslim Brotherhood; meanwhile the British Guardian claims that the Mubarak regime disappeared thousands of demonstrators; meanwhile Arab govts. in Jordan, Yemen, Syria et al. raise subsidies on food and heating oil, and raise salaries and lower taxes in an attempt to stave off more unrest; after a govt. shakeup in early Feb. in Jordan, new justice minister Hussein Mjali utters the soundbyte that Israel is a "terrorist state that will be destroyed"; meanwhile leftist Jewish billionaire George Soros calls Israel and obstacle to Egyptian reform, pissing off the Anti-Defamation League; meanwhile Gamaa Islamiya, Egypt's largest extremist org. resurfaces; Egyptian protester Jamal Ibrahim names his newborn daughter Facebook; on Feb. 18 Victory Fri. sees hundreds of thousands demonstrate in Cairo to celebrate 1 week sans Mubarak, while tens of thousands of Egyptian migrant workers in Libya begin returning; on Mar. 2 a constitutional referendum is announced for Mar. 19; on Mar. 3 PM Ahmed Safik steps down to prevent planned protests against him the next day, and Essam Sharaf is appointed the new PM of Egypt (until ?); on Mar. 5 protesters raid several State Security Investigations (SSI) offices across Egypt to find evidence of crimes committing during the Mubarak regime; on Mar. 22 an interior ministry bldg. catches on fire during police demonstrations outside it; on Mar. 23 a new law is announced outlawing protests and strikes, with a fine up to $100K; on Mar. 29 the military council postpones parliamentary elections until Sept.; on Apr. 1 Save the Rev. Day sees tens of thousands demonstrate to demand the military council to dismantle the old regime faster; on Apr. 5 the U.N. high commissioner on human rights urges the military council to move towards dem. reform; on Apr. 8 protesters stage a "Friday of Cleansing" in Tahrir Square, calling for a new constitution, removal of the emergency law, an end to military rule, and Mubarak's arrest; on Apr. 9 protesters in Tahrir Square calling for Mubarak's arrest are fired on by security forces, killing two and injuring dozens; on Apr. 10 Egyptian blogger Maikel Nabil is sentenced to three years in prison for criticizing the military; on Apr. 11 Egyptian ex-PM (2004-11) Ahmed Nazif is called in for questioning on corruption allegations; on Apr. 13 while in the hospital for heart problems, Mubarak is arrested for corruption, abuse of power, and the killing of protesters, along with his two sons.

On Feb. 7, 2011 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton announces that the U.S. is starting the process of removing Sudan from its list of state sponsors of terrorism following the finalization of the referendum on independence for South Sudan, which becomes the first new country of the decade, and up-and-coming U.N. member #193; too bad, the secession of oil-rich South Sudan causes a depression in Sudan. On Feb. 15 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton warns that nations that restrict the Internet to hold back popular demand for dem. reforms in the Middle East do so at their own risk, and that the U.S. is ready to help the dissidents evade the restrictions. On Feb. 17 Hillary Clinton pledges $150M to assist Egypt's dem. transformation. On Feb. 18 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton expresses the hope that military action will split the Taliban from al-Qaida, laying the groundwork for a political solution in Afghanistan.

On Feb. 20, 2011 Libyan troops fire machine guns at mourners marching in a funeral for anti-govt. protesters in Benghazi, Libya, after which they seize some army vehicles, and the fighting erupts into a civil war to oust Muammar Gaddhafi, with troops joining armed protesters while the govt. tries to hang on by clamping down on news and the Internet far better than in Egypt, and Daffy's bald son Saif Gaddhafi gives an impromptu TV speech promising 100K deaths, vowing to "fight until the last man, the last woman, the last bullet, then offering a new govt. in 48 hours; Madman Daffy is worth $200B?; he orders soldiers who refuse to shoot protesters to be tied up and set on fire, while rounding up mercenaries; on Feb. 21 Libyan airplanes bomb protesters in Tripoli, while two Libyan Mirage jets escape to Malta to avoid carrying out the orders; meanwhile the Libyan ambassador to London resigns and joins the protesters, and rumors spread that Daffy himself has fled the country for Switzerland or Venezuela; on Feb. 21 Hillary Clinton condemns the govt. violence and tells Gadhafi to "stop this unacceptable bloodshed"; on Feb. 22 Col. Daffy gives a speech on state TV, rejecting demands to resign, saying "I will not leave the country, and I will die as a martyr" on Feb. 23 Egyptian Muslim cleric Yusuf al-Qaradawi calls on Libyan soldiers to kill Daffy; on Feb. 23 the African Union joins in condemning the use of force against protesters in Libya; on Feb. 23 Pres. Obama "strongly condemns" the violence in Libya but doesn't call for Daffy's resignation, causing Libyan rebels to begin shouting "Send Bush!"; on Feb. 23 Iranian pres. Imadinnajacket tells the Daffy to allow free speech and "let their peoples express their opinions and then follow their noations", while simultaneously suppressing his own peoples' free speech; on Feb. 23 Italian foreign minister Franco Frattini expresses fears that up to 300K Libyans might flee to Italy, while Malmo U. prof. Anne Sofie Roald utters the soundbyte "We can't deny that today Islam is regarded as the biggest threat to Europe for many Europeans"; on Feb. 24 Daffy blames Osama bin Laden for the uprising; on Feb. 25 after his troops fire on demonstrators, bizarre ranter Daffy appears in Green Square, proclaiming "I am here" and telling the crowd "Dance, sing, live your lives... Ghadafi is here among his people"; meanwhile on Feb. 25 the Islamic Emirate of Libya is proclaimed in Derna in NE Libya; on Feb. 25 Pres. Obama finally imposes sanctions on Libya; on Feb. 26 Obama finally calls for Daffy to step down immediately, and hours later the U.N. Security Council votes unanimously to approve internat. sanctions on him via Resolution 1970, causing Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu to criticize Obama for hypocrisy for not doing ditto with Iran; on Feb. 28 British and German military planes rescue hundreds of stranded oil workers and civilians in E Libya; on Mar. 1 Hillary Clinton tells Congress that Libya is collapsing into "protracted civil war"; meanwhile rumors spread in the Arab press that Daffy is a secret Jew; on Mar. 2 Daffy's forces launch a counteroffensive against the rebel-held E half of the country, and battle for control of the Brega Oil Port, while the U.S., Britain and France send hundreds of advisers to train and support anti-Daffy forces in E Libya, and India sends three warships, and U.S. warships USS Kearsarge and USS Ponce the Suez Canal en route to Libya; on Mar. 3 the Internat. Criminal Court in The Hague announces that they're going to investigate Daffy and his inner circle incl. his sons for crimes against humanity; on Mar. 4 Pres. Obama ramps up the strength of his remarks, saying that the U.S. is keeping "all options open", incl. considering enforcing a no-fly zone over Libya, and insisting that Daffy leave office because he has lost his authority to lead; on Mar. 5 Pres. Obama sends U.S. defense secy. Robert Gates to Cairo as the unrest veers out of control and seize the HQ of the security police in Alexandria and Cairo, while the military leaders start losing their grip; on Mar. 6 there are brutal battles in Bin Jawwad; on Mar. 11 in Addis Ababa the African Union Peace and Security (PSC) rejects any use of force on Libya; on Mar. 12 Daffy's forces tighten their grip on the coastal road linking his territory to the rebel-controlled E, while the Arab League in Cairo recognizes the rebels and calls on the U.N. security Council to impose a no-fly zone to protect the rebels, which the White House hails as an "important step"; on Mar. 13 Al Jazeera cameraman Ali Hassan al-Jaber is killed in S Libya in an ambush; on Mar. 13 U.S. defense secy. Robert M. Gates says that the U.S. would have no trouble enforcing a Libyan no-fly zone if Pres. Obama orders one; on Mar. 15 the G8 rejects a no-fly zone over Libya in favor of stringer economic sanctions; on Mar. 15 four New York Times journalists go missing in Libya; on Mar. 16 Daffy warns the rebels in Benghazi that they will be shown "no mercy", after which on Mar. 16 the U.S. ramps up to pushing for U.N. authorization for a full military attack; on Mar. 17 the U.N. Security votes 10-0 (5 abstentions) to authorize member states "to take all necessary measures... to protect civilians and civilian populated areas under threat of attack" (first U.N. resolution to authorize military action to protect civilians), causing celebrations in Benghazi, after which Libya declares a ceasefire while Daffy's son Seif al Islam al Qadhafi says that the Daffy family is "not afraid", and claims the resolution is "unfair" because they have "proved to everybody that there have bee no air strikes against civilians"; on Mar. 19 (8th anniv. of U.S. invasion of Iraq) French fighter jets deploy over Libya, firing on and destroying four Libyan tanks near rebel-held Benghazi, which is under attack by Daffy's forces, while the U.S. launches Operation Odyssey Dawn, starting with U.S. warships in the Mediterranean firing 110 Tomahawk cruise missiles to destroy 20 Libyan air defense sites, putting the U.S. into its 3rd simultaneous war in a Middle Eastern Muslim country; Pres. Obama utters the soundbyte "I want the American people to know that the use of force is not our first choice, and it's not a choice that I make lightly, but we can't stand idly by when a tyrant tells his people that there will be no mercy"; unfazed, Daffy sets up a human shield of supporters at his compound, and vows a "long war" in Libya, and opens his armories to issue 1M guns to his loyal followers to fight a civil war, which doesn't stop the compound from being hit by "accidental" U.S. airstrikes; on Mar. 22 a U.S. F-15 jet crashes in NE Libya after a technical failure after both crewmembers eject safely; discord in NATO emerges on Mar. 21 as Turkey blocks participation, Italy issues a veiled threat to withdraw use of its bases, and Vladimir Putin of Russia calls the Security Council resolution "flawed", saying it is "reminiscent of a medieval call for a Crusade", because "it allowed intervention in a sovereign state"; on Mar. 24 NATO assumes partial control over the no-fly operations; on Mar. 25 Libyan rebel cmdr. Abdel-Hakim al-Hasidi admits that his fighters have al-Qaida links, having fought against Allied troops in Iraq; on Mar. 27 Pres. Obama give a Speech on Libya, saying that the Libya mission saved "countless" civilian lives; on Mar. 30 the rebels retreat from the oil port of Ras Lanouf, blaming lack of air support; on Mar. 30 Libyan foreign minister Musa Kusa defects to Britain; on Mar. 31 Turkish PM Recep Tayyip Erdogan says that sending weapons to the Libyan rebels could feed terrorism because Daffy has unleashed war between Christians and Muslims; on Apr. 2 NATO "friendly fire" kills 13 Libyan rebels; on Apr. 4 Italy recognizes the opposition Libyan Nat. Transitional Council; on Apr. 5 Daffy sends a letter to Pres. Obama, addressing him as "Dear Son", and asking him to stop the NATO airstrikes, which he calls an "unjust war against a small people of a developing country", asking for a ceasefire; on Apr. 14 al-Qaeda #2 man Ayman al-Zawahiri issues a video telling Arab nations to intervene militarily in Libya to eject Daffy before "Western aid... turns into invasions"; on Apr. 15 Daffy's forces shell Misrata, the only remaining rebel stronghold in W Libya, while his daughter Aisha gives a defiant speech; on Apr. 20 the Obama admin. announces $25M in nonlethal aid to the rebels; on Apr. 25 NATO forces bomb Daffy's compound, flattening a bldg. inside it; on May 19 NATO air strikes hit eight warships belonging to Daffy in Tripoli, Al Khums, and Sirte.

On Mar. 15, 2011 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton arrives in Cairo; she is snubbed by a coalition of six youth groups from the Egyptian rev.; after pledging $90M in emergency economic aid, she visits Tahrir Square with PM Essam Sharaf, saying that she's "deeply inspired" by the rev., with the soundbyte "To see where this revolution happened and all that it has meant to the world is extraordinary for me. It's just a great reminder of the power of the human spirit and universal desire for human rights and democracy. It's just thrilling to see where this happened." On Mar. 22 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton gives an interview to Diane Sawyer of ABC World News, and reveals that Libyan Col. Madman Daffy is exploring exile options. On Mar. 22/23 (midnight) after 15 boys aged 10-15 imitate the Arab Spring protesters by placing graffiti on public bldgs., and the secret police under Bashar al-Assad's cousin Gen. Atef Najeeb torture them by pulling their fingernals, outraging the pop., Syrian forces attack the Al-Omari Mosque in Deraa 70 mi. S of Damascus near the Yarmuck River border with Jordan, killing six protesters. On Mar. 29 the govt. of Syria resigns; Hillary Clinton condemns it for its harsh treatment of pro-democracy protesters. On Mar. 30 U.S. Rep. Michael McCaul (R-Tex.) introduces legislation to order secy. of state Hillary Clinton to designate Mexican drug cartels as foreign terrorist orgs.

On Apr. 11, 2011 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton gives a news conference with Finnish foreign minister Alexander Stubb in Washington, and decries the marginalization of women in the Islamic world, saying they must be empowered for true democracy in the Middle East. On May 22 Saudi police arrest Manal al-Sharif (1979-), a female Internet consultant for Armco, who defied Saudi law and drove a car in Al-Khobar while wearing a black abaya, then posted a video of it on YouTube; they then jail her for a week and force her to sign a document agreeing not to talk to the press or continue her protests, and crack down on others allied with her in her campaign and shut down their Facebook page; in early June princess Reem al-Faisal, granddaughter of King Faisal speaks out in the Arab News, jokingly suggesting that women at least be allowed to drive camels; billionaire prince Alwaleed bin Talal bin Abdulaziz al-Saud also speaks out for women, saying that the pilot of his private jet is a woman, and that his wife gets away with driving; on June 17 a protest sees Saudi women driving openly in droves; on June 22 Huma, er, Hillary Clinton expresses support for the Saudi women, but takes pains to deny that the U.S. has anything to do with their movement; meanwhile in June the Saudi committee for religious edicts issues a fatwa banning men and women from mingling at offices and educational institutions "until the Day of Judgment", while King Abdullah ends the practice of male-only clerks at lingerie shops, which caused them to guesstimate sizes by staring at their abayas; too bad, on Jan. 24, 2012 Manal al-Sherif is killed in a car crash.

Carlos Pascual of the U.S. (1959-)

On May 26, 2011 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton visits Pakistan in an attempt to salvage relations after the killing of Osama bin Laden, and pressures them to help find four militant Islamic leaders incl. Osama's deputy Ayman al-Zawahiri; on May 27 she says that Pakistani officials have conceded that bin Laden had a support network in Pakistan to remain undetected for at least five years in Abbottabad; in exchange for a clean bill of health regarding bin Laden, the Pakistan military promises to start a military offensive in North Waziristan, but soon reneges. In May Cuban-born Hillary Clinton favorite Carlos Pascual (1959-) (U.S. ambassador to Ukraine in 2000-3) succeeds David L. Goldwyn as dir. of the U.S. State Dept. Bureau of Energy Resources, working to draw Ukraine into the Western sphere while pissing-off Vladimir Putin.

On June 14, 2011 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton issues a statement comparing the unrest in Syria to the 2009 Iranian protests, claiming that "Iran is supporting Syrian assaults on protesters". On June 29 the U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security pub. a new list of specially designated countries that support terrorism, adding Israel for the first time while dropping North Korea; meanwhile the Obama admin. resumes formal contact with the Muslim Brotherhood, whose avowed goal is Islamist takeover of the U.S., while U.S. deputy nat. security advisor John Brennan says that the new Obama admin. counterterrorism strategy will be to focus on would-be terrorists in the U.S. who are inspired by al-Qaeda's "hateful ideology", and adds that this is the first strategy to "designate the homeland as a primary area of emphasis in our counterterrorism efforts", adding the immortal soundbytes: "Our strategy is... shaped by a deeper understanding of al-Qaida's goals, strategy and tactics... I'm not talking about al-Qaida's grandiose vision of global domination through a violent Islamic caliphate. That vision is absurd, and we are not going to organize our counterterrorism polices against a feckless delusion that is never going to happen"; on June 30 Hillary Clinton in Budapest says that the Obama admin. is loosening criteria for interaction with the Brotherhood, permitting diplomats to deal directly with low-level officials; on July 2 Brotherhood spokesman Mahmoud Ghozlan says that they are "ready for dialogue", but only "within a framework of mutual respect", calling for the Obama admin. to "side with the rights of the people and their demands and to stop supporting the corrupt and tyrannical regimes, backing the Zionist occupation and using double standards"; meanwhile the Obama admin. imposes financial sanctions on Syrian and Iranian domestic security forces for killing of peaceful anti-govt. protesters in Syria. In June the Anthony Weiner Scandal sees Dem. N.Y. U.S. rep. (1999-) Anthony David Weiner (1964-) get caught sending photos of his wiener to love mates on the Internet despite having married Saudi-raised (puppet?) Muslim Hillary Clinton deputy chief of staff Huma Mahmood Abedin (1976-) 11 mo. earlier on July 10, 2010 (officiated by Bill Clinton), compounded by lying before a complete confession, causing calls for his resignation, incl. from Pres. Obama despite support from pregnant Huma, after which he finally resigns on June 16; Huma's marriage is a sham arranged for convenience by her Saudi puppetmasters, and is not recognized by Sharia?; Huma was once rumored to be Hillary's lesbian lover, and her mother Saleha Abedin belonged to the Muslim Sisterhood, a branch of the Muslim Brotherhood, while her brother Hassan Abedin works at the infamous Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies, whose board is loaded with Muslim Brotherhood members, and who has aspiring Turkish caliph Muhammad Fethullah Gulen (Gülen) among its trustees; the Clintons helped Gulen flee to the U.S. after being indicted in Turkey in 2000.

On July 1, 2011 the Internat. Community of Democracies meeting in Vilnius, Lithuania sees U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton liken the Arab Spring to the democratization of E Europe in the 1990s, and utter the soundbyte: "Today there are new democracies fighting for life, there are vicious autocrats clinging to power. This is an hour of need, and every democracy should stand up and be counted." On July 1 the 17th African Union Summit in Malabo, Equatorial Guinea sees the leaders wrestle with what to do about once-impregnable Libyan dictator Col. Daffy, who threatens to attack European civilians, causing U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton to call for him to stand down. On July 11 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton utters the soundbyte that Syrian pres. Bashar al-Assad has lost his legitimacy, pissing him and his govt. off. On July 16 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton criticizes Turkey's human rights record, incl. lack of religious freedom, censorship of the Internet, and improper detention of 50 journalists during the Sledgehammer Coup last year, but adds that it is "one of the most exciting places in the world" because of ties to both Eastern and Western cultures.

On Aug. 17, 2011 Hillary Clinton orders Israel to apologize to Turkey over the flotilla attack last year or face strained ties, to which Israel replies stuff it.

On Oct. 18, 2011 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton makes an unannounced visit to Tripoli, Libya after the Defense Dept. prepositions assets off the Libyan coast in case it needs to rescue her. On Oct. 22 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton visits Dushanbe, Tajikistan, and warns Tajikistan and Uzbekistan that their efforts to crack down on religious freedom might backfire with increased sympathy for radical Islamist views in C Asia. On Oct. 27 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton gives an interview to BBC Persia, saying that the State Dept. is planning to set up a "virtual embassy" in Tehran to facilitate Iranian student visas.

On Nov. 7, 2011 the IAEA releases a Report on Iran's Nuclear Capability, saying that Iran has mastered the critical steps for building nukes after receiving help from foreign scientists, and is on the brink of getting nukes; no surprise, the Obama admin. only seeks to impose more sanctions; U.N. sanctions are also unlikely because of Russian and Chinese opposition, the Russian foreign ministry saying that the IAEA presented no new facts, and deliberately politicized existing ones, ignoring Iran'a willingness to cooperate, with the soundbyte that the IAEA "had a set goal to deliver a guilty verdict"; meanwhile the Israelis ex-IAEA chmn. Mohamed ElBaradei of being an Iranian agent who covered-up their nuke program during his term; he denies it; on Nov. 10 Imadinnajacket utters the soundbyte "This nation won't retreat one iota from the path it is going... Why are you ruining the prestige of the (U.N. nuclear) agency for absurd U.S. claims?", and Iranian supreme leader Ayatollah Khomeini warns the U.S. and Israel that "Anybody who takes up the idea of an attack on Iran should get ready to receive a strong slap and an iron fist"; on Nov. 11 Hillary Clinton demands that Iran respond within days to the IAEA report, and says that the U.S. is seeking to marshal internat. support for more sanctions; on Nov. 13 Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu claims that the full extent of Iran's nuclear program isn't reflected in the IAEA report. On Nov. 7 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton gives an address at the Nat. Dem. Inst., and utters the soundbyte that the claim that "Muslims cannot thrive in a democracy" is "insulting, dangerous, and wrong, and promising that the Obama admin. will work with ascendant Islamist parties in the Muslim World - they do it in this country every day" - like when her hubby claimed that he didn't have "sex with that woman"?

On Dec. 6, 2011 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton makes a historic speech at the U.N. HQ in Geneva calling for worldwide LGBT rights; Pres. Obama issues an order to the federal govt. to fight for homosexual rights abroad. On Dec. 9 Repub. pres. candidate Newt Gingrich calls the Palestinians "an invented people" who want to destroy Israel on the Jewish Channel; on Dec. 14 U.S. state secy. Hillary Clinton harps on him, saying that it's not "helpful". On Dec. 12-14 a Muslim-dominated fake Meeting on Religious Tolerance hosted by U.S. ambassador Suzan Johnson Cook in Washington, D.C. gives the OIC yet another chance to try to undermine free speech in the U.S., thanks to Hillary Clinton, who announced it in July in Turkey. On Dec. 19 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton announces the U.S. Nat. Action Plan on Women, Peace, and Security, an attempt to patch Pres. Obama's fractured Muslim outreach policy in light of Islamist takeover of the Arab Spring and attempts to institute woman-suppressing Sharia.

In 2012 Hillary Clinton is named the most admired woman by Americans for the 11th straight time and the 17th time overall by Gallup's most admired man and woman poll.

On May 2, 2012 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton makes a high-level state visit to China, criticizing the govt. for their treatment of blind dissident Chen Guangcheng, who leaves the U.S. embassy a week after fleeing house arrest, phoning the U.S. Congress on May 3 for help in leaving China. On May 23 U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton attends the Special Operations Forces Industry Conference (SOFIC) trade show in Tampa, Fla., sharing her vision of "smart power" and the crucial role her State Dept. is playing in extending the power of America's "international counterterrorism network". On June 11 after the U.S. announces rewards of $3M-$7M for info. about Al-Shabaab cmdrs., it offers a reward of 10 camels for info. about the whereabouts of Pres. Barack Obama, and 10 chickens and 10 roosters for info. on Hillary Clinton.

John Christopher Stevens of the U.S. (1960-) John Christopher Stevens of the U.S. (1960-) John Christopher Stevens of the U.S. (1960-)

On Sept. 11, 2012 (9/11/2012) the Sept. 11 (9/11), 2012 Benghazi Attack sees the U.S. consulate in Libya attacked by al-Qaida terrorists, torturing and killing (gay?) U.S. ambassador (since June 7) John Christopher Stevens (b. 1960) and three other Americans by Sept. 12, becoming the first U.S. ambassador killed in the line of duty since 1981; Stevens is carried through the streets by the jihadists for five hours; the Obama admin. at first blames it on a Muslim mob enraged by a YouTube video titled Innocence of Muslims by Calif. filmmaker Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, who on Sept. 15 is arrested on trumped-up charges, becoming the first in U.S. history arrested for violating Muslim anti-blasphemy laws, then held for violating probation on a 2010 bank fraud conviction; he is not released until Aug. 6, 2013, on supervised probation; no surprise, the Obama admin. stubbornly refuses to blame it on Islamic terrorism, doing nothing to respond until ?; Nakoula is a Muslim and agent for the U.S. Justice Dept., and the video is Obama agitprop created by govt.-connected Stanley Associates?; on Sept. 12 Obama gives an interview to Steve Krofts of 60 Minutes, in which he utters the soundbyte: "You're right that this is not a situation that was exactly the same as what happened in Egypt, and my suspicion is, is that there are folks involved in this who were looking to target Americans from the start"; meanwhile the Repubs. begin asking questions, ramping up a full investigation; the Muslim Brotherhood and Mohammed Morsi were behind the attack?; Pres. Assad, Hezbollah were behind the attack to get even for Stevens' role in smuggling weapons into Syria?; on Dec. 29, 2013 an article in the New York Times by David D. Kirkpatrick whitewashes the massacre, blaming it on the movie again; in 2013 retired U.S. Adm. James Lyons claims that the kidnapping was orchestrated by Obama so he could negotiate his release in return for freeing Blind Sheikh Omar Abdel Rahman; in early May 2014 a smoking gun email is discovered, showing White House political operatives telling U.N. ambassador Susan Rice to claim the attack was the result of the Internet video, and Hillary Clinton uttering the soundbyte: "We are going to have the filmmaker arrested." On Dec. 17 the U.S. State Dept. announces that their boss Hillary Clinton sustained a concussion after a fall at home (Dec. 15?), causing Karl Rove in May 2014 to claim that she's suffering from brain damage and shouldn't run for pres.

On Jan. 23, 2013 exiting U.S. secy. of state (Feb. 1) Hillary Clinton is questioned by the U.S. Senate about the 9/11/2012 Benghazi attack, growing angry and combative, taking responsibility for security lapses related while defending her lack of personal actions in regard to the matter, asking "What difference does it make?" why four Americans were killed, claiming "I did not say it was the video" that caused the attack, and finally admitting "We now face a spreading jihadist threat, we have to recognize this is a global movement", with Sen. Rand Paul saying "If I'd been president at the time and I'd found that you did not read the cables from Benghazi... I would have relieved you of your post"; the questions were pre-scripted? As secy. of state she visited more countries (112) than her predecessors, promoting "smart power" as the strategy for asserting U.S. leadership and values by combining military power with diplomacy and U.S. capabilities in economics, technology, and other areas. On Mar. 18 former secy. of state Hillary Clinton announces that she now supports same-sex marriage; her hubby Bill Clinton already endorsed it while she was serving in Pres. Obama's cabinet after Chelsea talked him into it.

George Soros (1930-)

On Oct. 24, 2013 billionaire leftist internat. mystery man George Soros (1930-) announces his backing for Hillary for U.S. pres. in 2016, which means mucho since he backed Obama and looky.

On Jan. 27, 2014 former secy. of state Hillary Clinton addresses the Nat. Automobile Dealers Assoc. in New Orleans, La., and calls the 9/11/2012 Benghazi Attack the "greatest regret" of her tenure; she also admits that the last time she drove a car was in 1996. On Jan. 31 a Washington Post Poll gives her a 61% lead (71-12) over vice-pres. Joe Biden for the Dem. nomination for pres., largest in history. In Jan. a tape is recorded in which actor Tom Sizemore claims to two pals that in a 1998 White House screening of the film Saving Private Ryan, Pres. Clinton pulled him aside from the crowd of celebs incl. Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, Ed Burns, and Dennis Farina, asking if he'd like to see the Lincoln Bedroom, and after shaking his Secret Service detail, asks him, "Did you go with Liz Hurley for four years? Do you still see her?", then demands her phone number so he can call her for a date, flying her to Washington D.C. and bedding her in the White House in a room next to where First Lady Hillary sleeps; on Feb. 5 Sizemore recants, claiming drug use.

On Feb. 11, 2014 Rev. Jesse Jackson makes an appearance on HuffPost Live, claiming that if Hillary runs for pres., she will win. On Feb. 13 Hillary addresses the No Ceilings Project, uttering the soundbyte that women who want to get ahead in politics or other high-profile jobs should "grow skin like a rhinoceros." On Feb. 17 Naglaa Mahmoud, wife of ousted Egyptian pres. Mohamed Morsi claims to have been close friends with Hillary Clinton since the 1980s, claiming that the Muslim Sisterhood has regular dealings with her and her hubby Bill. On Feb. 28 3,546 pages of documents are released by the Clinton Pres. Library, giving Hillary's political opponents mucho ammo.

On Mar. 5, 2014 ex-U.S. secy. of state Hillary Clinton compares Russian pres. Vladimir Putin's aggression in Ukraine to Adolf Hitler, giving conservative critics a field day. On Mar. 12 Minyon Moore, former asst. of Hillary Clinton in her 2008 pres. campaign is accused of illegally channeling $600K into the campaign.

Alison Ernst (1977-)

On Apr. 2, 2014 former U.S. pres. Bill Clinton appears on Jimmy Kimmel Live, claiming that as pres. he had aides look into Area 51 to see if there were E.T.'s there, not finding any, but that he wouldn't be surprised if we were visited by them one day. On Apr. 4 the U.S. Inspector Gen. issues a report claiming that the State Dept. under Hillary Clinton misplaced or lost $6B due to improper filing of contracts over the past six years. On Apr. 10 protester Alison Ernst (1977-) of Phoenix, Ariz. throws a shoe at Hillary Clinton during a keynote speech for the Inst. of Scrap Recycling Industries at the Mandalay Bay Resort in Las Vegas, Nev., who utters the soundbyte: "My goodness, I didn't know that solid waste management was so controversial. Thank goodness she didn't play softball like I did"; Ernst is charged with two federal counts, facing two years in federal prison - convicted of throwing like a girl?

On May 1, 2014 Brunei begins ramping up Sharia with punishments for promoting religions other than Islam and pregnancy outside marriage, ramping up to amputation for theft and stoning of adulterers and homosexuals, causing Hollywood stars Ellen DeGeneres, Jay Leno, Patrick Stewart et al. to boycott the Beverly Hills Hotel, which is owned by Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah; too bad, the sultan gave $1M-$5M to the Clinton Foundation through 2013. On May 4 Hillary tweets about the 200 Nigerian girls kidnapped by Beaucoup Harm, er, Boko Haram, with the hashtag #BringBackOurGirls; too bad, she spent two years as head of the State Dept. fighting to keep Boko Haram off the official list of foreign terrorist orgs.? On May 7 undeclared 2016 U.S. pres. candidate Hillary Clinton speaks to the Nat. Council for Behavioral Health, uttering the soundbyte that the U.S. "gun culture" has gotten "way out of balance"; "We've got to rein in what has become an almost article of faith that anybody can have a gun anywhere, anytime. I don't believe that this is in the best interest of the vast majority of people." On May 17 Hillary holds her first campaign fundraising event of 2014 to benefit the congressional campaign of her daughter Chelsea's mother-in-law Marjorie Margolies (1942-); too bad, on May 20 she loses the Dem. Penn. primary.

On June 9, 2014 (eve.) Hillary Clinton gives an interview to Diane Sawyer on ABC News for her new book Hard Choices, trying to explain away her inaction during the Benghazi attack, with the soundbyte: "I'm not equipped to sit and look at blueprints to determine where the blast walls need to be, where the reinforcements need to be. That's why we hire people who have that expertise"; on June 10 (a.m.) after remarking that she and her Bubba were "dead broke" when they left the White House, causing a firestorm of controversy, Hillary gives an interview to Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, uttering the soundbyte: soundbyte: "Let me just clarify that I fully appreciate how hard life is for so many Americans today. It's an issue that I've worked hard on and cared about my entire adult life." On June 16 Hillary Clinton gives a speech in Toronto, Ont., Canada, telling the audience that she supports Pres. Obama's decision to work with the Palestinian Authority's new unity govt. even though it incl. the Hamas terror org. because the new officials are "largely technocrats... academics and business people. They don't represent sort of what you might call hardcore Hamas leadership."

On Mar. 4, 2015 after the Hillary Clinton Email Scandal breaks with a Mar. 2 article in the New York Times revealing that as secy. of state she had her own private email account hdr22@clintonemail.com to hide her actions from the public instead of a govt. account that can be examined by the public later, she tweets that she wants the public to see them all of a sudden, handing 55K pages worth over to the State Dept.; on Mar. 10 Hillary speaks to the press at the U.N. Bldg. in New York City, trying to explain it away for 21 min.; it was Obama advisor Valerie Jarrett who leaked the scandal to the press?; too bad, at a Take Back America Conference in 2007 she uttered the soundbyte about Pres. George W. Bush: "We know our Constitution is being shredded. We know about the secret wiretaps, the secret military tribunals, the secret White House email accounts."

The chick flick Rodham is in development.

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