2003 Chinese Year: Black Ram (Sheep) (Goat) (Feb. 1) (lunar year 4700). Time Person of the Year: The U.S. Soldier. This is the first year of the 21st cent. that is a prime number. The U.N. declares this the Internat. Year of Freshwater. The U.S. Congress declares this the Year of the Blues. The Am. Century only has 22 years left? The Anglo pop. of Tex. drops below 50% for the first time since the 1800s. By this year 1 out of every 32 in the U.S. is either in prison, on probation or parole (6.9M). The number of children orphaned by AIDS reaches 15M. Median income for U.S. blacks reaches 81% of whites, compared to 63% in 1968 (MLK Jr.) and 43% in 1955 (Rosa Parks). The U.S. has 65 nuclear plants providing 20% of the total power - so let's build 260 more and provide 100%? On Jan. 1 Oklahoma defeats Washington State by 34-14 to win the 2003 Rose Bowl. On Jan. 1 an IVF baby is born 1 min. after midnight to a lesbian couple, Helen Rubin and Joanna Bare in, ahem, Virginia - well kiss my grits? On Jan. 3 Ohio State U. wins its first nat. football championship in 34 years with a 31-24 double-OT upset of Miami U. in the Fiesta Bowl. On Jan. 3 U.S. Md. Dem. Rep. (since 1981) Steny Hamilton Hoyer (1939-) becomes minority whip #21 of the U.S. House (until Jan. 3, 2007). On Jan. 3 J.C. Watts Jr. (1957-) retires as a Repub. member of the U.S. House from Okla. (since 1995), becoming the last African-Am. Repub. in the House until ? On Jan. 7 Pope Shenouda ("slave of God") III (1923-) of the Coptic Orthodox Church in Egypt says that while Coptic Christians and Muslims get along, pesky Jehovah's Witnesses, Jews, and Seventh-Day Adventists are disturbing the country's unity. On Jan. 8 the previous year's no-fatalities record for commercial flight in the U.S. is broken when a US Airways Express Beech 1900 crashes shortly after takeoff at Greenville, S.C., killing all 21 aboard. On Jan. 10 North Korea announces that it is pulling out of the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty - 5-4-3-2-1 is scheduled to premiere when? On Jan. 15 after defeating banana king (wealthiest man in Ecuador) Alvaro Ferando Noboa Ponton (1950-) with 55% of the vote, pro-left former col. Lucio Edwin Gutierrez Borbua (1957-) becomes pres. of Ecuador (until Apr. 20, 2005). On Jan. 19 anti-war protests sweep the world as Pres. Bush tries to find an excuse to force U.S. troops into a war with Iraq (not realizing that Iraq is all that is keeping Iran from forming a Shia Sword all the way to Israel?); the admin. denies allegations that Bush is just a puppet of the multinat. oil corps. who want to use an occupied Iraq (home of the second largest oil reserves in the Middle East?) as a base to control Middle East oil (especially untapped Caspian Sea oil), or a puppet of the Zionist regime and Israel, or that the euros versus dollars issue has anything to do with it, but France, Russia, and Germany split with the U.S. and actively discourage U.S. invasion of Iraq as Bush builds up an invasion force that says screw you world. On Jan. 21 the U.S. Census Bureau announces that Hispanics outnumber African-Americans in the U.S. by 37 to 36.2M; is the U.S. headed towards becoming a bilingual nation? On Jan. 23 Pres. Bush strikes back on the anniv. of "Roe v. Wade" by telling abortion foes "We will prevail". On Jan. 23 the last weak signal is received from Pioneer 10, originally launched on Mar. 2, 1972. On Jan. 24 the new U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security opens, with Thomas Joseph "Tom" Ridge (1945-) as secy. #1 (until Feb. 1, 2005). On Jan. 25 a French-brokered peace in Ivory Coast is signed, calling for the govt. of pres. Laurent Gbagbo to share power with pro-Guei rebels; too bad, Gbagbo reneges, and riots begin in the capital Yamoussoukro, causing another peace to be declared in July, supported by 4K U.N. peacekeeper troops; the rebels continue to hold half the country. On Jan. 26 Super Bowl XXXVII (37) is held in Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, Calif.; the top-ranked defense Tampa Bay Buccaneers (NFC) defeat the top-ranked offense Oakland Raiders (AFC) 48-21 as coach Jon Gruden gets even with former boss Al Davis; the Bucs return three of five Rich Gannon interceptions for TDs, incl. a 44-yard one by linebacker Derrick Brooks, and a 50-yard one by Dwight Smith with 2 sec. left; Bucs free safety Dexter Lamar Jackson (1977-) is MVP. On Jan. 27 Pres. Bush nominates John Glover Roberts Jr. (b. 1955) to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit, staging ground for elevation to the Supreme Court; he is confirmed on May 8. On Jan. 28 the Ariel Sharon's Likud Party wins the Israeli election with 38 of 120 seats. On Jan. 28 Donald Trump gives an interview to Neil Cavuto, in which he shows his undecidedness about the Iraq War, with the soundbyte: "Well, he's [Pres. George W. Bush] either got to do something or not do something perhaps. Because perhaps he shouldn't be doing it yet. Perhaps we should be waiting for the United Nations"; in his Sept. 26, 2016 debate with Hillary Clinton, moderator Lester Holt tries to frame him on being for the war back then. The Bush admin. gives us the Plamgate-Uraniumscootergate micro-mini-scandal? On Jan. 29 (Tue.) Pres. George W. Bush gives his 2003 State of the Union Address, uttering the soundbyte "We will prevail" against terrorism, and uttering the "infamous 16 words", claiming that "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa"; the White House later admits that this charge plays a part in the decision to invade Iraq, and that it relied on faulty intel and should not have been in his speech; too bad, Congress had already voted to authorize the use of force in Iraq 3 mo. earlier; behind Bush on the walls of the Congress are all kinds of disturbing Illuminati, Mason, and Satanic symbols, incl. the Pillars of Jakin and Boaz and the good ole ancient Roman fasci; on May 6 New York Times columnist Nicholas Donabet Kristof (1959-) reports that an unnamed U.S. ambassador who had been sent to Niger in 2002 told the CIA and State Dept. well before Bush's speech that the uranium story was bullwhacky; in Nov. 2005 Italian intel officials conclude that a set of documents bolstering the Iraq-Niger link had been forged by an occasional Italian spy; in Jan. 2006 a FOIA lawsuit by conservative Judicial Watch causes the Jan. 2002 Secret Memo by the U.S. State Dept.'s intel bureau (in which the sale was declared "unlikely") to finally be declassified; meanwhile vice-pres. Dick Cheney's chief of staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby (1950-) asks undersecy. of state Marc Grossman to check up on that pesky bigmouth ambassador, and learns that his name is Joseph Charles Wilson IV (1949-), husband of Alaskan-born hot blonde Valerie Elise Plame Wilson (1963-), who since 1985 has been in the CIA and has worked up to station chief and works on the team that has been trying to decide if Saddam Hussein has WMDs, and somebody in the Bush admin. decides on a plan to 'get' Wilson by getting her; on June 11-12 Grossman tells Libby that Plame works for the CIA and that she was involved in planning the Niger trip, which is confirmed by Cheney's top press aide Cathie Martin, who says she got it from CIA spokesman (former U.S. Navy capt.) Bill Harlow; on June 11-12 Cheney confirms Plame's CIA status to Libby; on June 13 Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward interviews deputy secy. of state (2001-5) Richard Lee Armitage (1945-) for a book, and Armitage tells him about Plame working for the CIA; on June 23 Libby meets with New York Times reporter Judith Miller (1948-) and spills the beans to her; on July 6 Wilson pub. an op-ed column in the New York Times criticizing the admin.; on July 7 Libby meets with White House press secy. (2001-3) Ari Fleischer, and spills the beans again, allegedly telling him the info is "hush-hush", which Libby later denies; since both Fleischer and Libby are Zionist Jews, this proves a Zionist conspiracy connected with 9/11 and the invasion of Iraq?; on July 8 columnist Robert David Sanders Novak (1931-) interviews Armitage, who spills the beans to him, causing Novak to obtain confirmation from White House top political adviser Karl Christian Rove (1950-); on July 11 Fleischer again spills the beans to two reporters on a pres. trip to Africa; meanwhile Rove spills the beans to Matthew Cooper (1962-) of Time mag.; on July 14 a syndicated column by Novak spills the beans, citing two unidentified senior admin. officials; later it comes out that Cheney learned about Plame from CIA dir. George Tenet; when it is learned that disclosing a covert agent's identity is a crime and that a criminal investigation was authorized on Sept. 26, the admin. begins stonewalling, starting with Armitage telling investigators that he is the leak, followed on Sept. 29 by the White House denying that Rover, er, Rove leaked Plame's identity to retaliate against her anti-admin. hubby Wilson, despite his admitting to FBI that he had leaked the info. to Novak; too bad, on Oct. 14 and Nov. 26 Libby is interviewed by the FBI, and on Dec. 30 Chicago U.S. atty. Patrick J. Fitzgerald (1960-) (sounds like John Fitzgerald you know who?) is named to head the leak investigation - so get the lady another job and fuggedaboutit? On Jan. 29 AOL-Time Warner reports an annual loss of $98.7B. On Jan. 30 Belgium officially recognizes gay marriages - shall we eat or drink to it? The bad side of U.S. govt. on display? On Jan. 31 a federal jury in San Francisco is duped by a crook in a black robe to convict noted marijuana advocate and authority Ed Rosenthal (1944-) of federal marijuana charges even though Calif. law permits it for medical uses and the city of Oakland tried to shield him with immunity as its officer; on Feb. 4 the jury cries foul for not being told this, demanding a new trial as the puppet judge and prosecutors slap each other on the backs for squashing a hero like a bug for political reasons in the name of the law, instead of taking Calif. itself to court first so the fight is more fair - and America wants to spread its brand of democracy all over the world? In Jan. Saddam Hussein stuns his top military leaders when he tells them that he has no WMDs after all, and just wanted Iran to think he did to keep them off his back; the leaders are demoralized because they had counted on using gas or germ weapons against the Americans; after he is captured, Saddam repeats this, but adds to FBI agent George L. Piro that he faked having WMDs while in power but planned on developing them incl. nukes within a year; meanwhile Iraqi defector to Germany Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi AKA Curveball, who convinced Gen. Colin Powell et al. that Saddam had mobile WMD labs later admits he lied to sucker the U.S. into toppling him; CIA officer Tyler S. Drumheller (1942-2015) had warned top CIA officials in vain before Gen. Colin Powell gave his U.N. speech. In Jan. 30-year U.S. Rep. Sen. (chmn. of the Sen. Agriculture Committee and Sen. Foreign Relations Committee) Jesse Helms (b. 1921) decides against seeking a 6th term and leaves Congress; his seat is won by Sen. Bob Dole's wife Elizabeth Dole; he suffers from heart problems, a bone disorder, and prostate cancer, and goes around Capitol Hill on a motorized scooter; in Apr. 2006 he ends up in a nursing home after developing vascular dementia. In Jan. Calif. Gov. Ahnuld has surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff. On Feb. 1 NASA Space Shuttle Columbia, which lifted off on Jan. 16 breaks up during reentry and disintegrates 40 mi. up over Palestine, Tex. as it approaches the landing area, killing all seven aboard incl. cmdr. Rick Husband, pilot William McCool, payload cmdr. Michael Anderson, engineer Kalpana Chala, David Brown, Laurel Clark, and Ilan Ramon, all while millions watch the eerie execution on TV; Ramon is the first Israeli in space; giving conspiracy kooks hay to blame Iran, since it's the 24th anniv. of Ayatollah Khomeini's return to Iran, plus the embedded letters "Iran" in Ramon's name, and the coincidence of Palestine, Tex.; the breakup is caused by hot gases escaping through a 3-in. hole in the left wing created at liftoff by a piece of foam insulation breaking off from the external fuel tank, causing NASA to spend $200M to fix the problem before the next flight in 2005; much of the debris lands in Nacogdoches, Tex. On Feb. 2 Vaclav Havel steps down as pres. of the Czech Repub., and goes back to writing plays. On Feb. 3 rock & roll music producer Phil Spector (1939-) is arrested for the shooting murder of B-movie actress Lana Clarkson; on May 23 he shows up in L.A. Superior Court sporting an oversized "Dolly Parton" hairdo of frosted and teased curls. On Feb. 10 Kurdish political leader Shawkat Hajji Mushir is assassinated by Kurdish Islamic militants in league with Al-Qaida. On Feb. 12 Donald Rumsfeld utters the immortal soundbyte in a briefing on the Iraqi situation: "As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns." On Feb. 13 Tom Ridge's Dept. of Homeland Security causes a run on duck (duct) tape and plastic sheeting with an announcement that terrorists are suspected of being about ready to set off a dirty bomb in the U.S. On Feb. 14 the original Dolly the Sheep dies - did they mention the part about the horse? On Feb. 17 a nightclub stampede in Chicago, Ill. kills 21. On Feb. 19 Mo. Rep. Dick Gephardt announces his 2nd candidacy for U.S. pres., with a pledge to repeal most of Pres. Bush's tax cuts, which he claims mainly benefit the rich. On Feb. 19 an election causes a runoff, and on Mar. 5 Robert Kocharian (1954-) is reelected pres. of Armenia (until Apr. 9, 2008). On Feb. 20 a 100-fatality nightclub fire in The Station in West Warwick, R.I. is set off by pyrotechnics igniting flammable soundproofing foam as the heavy metal band Great White begins their set and a TV cameraman is filming footage for a story on safety in public places; the nightclub had no sprinklers because state laws don't require any for Class C venues (with a capacity of less than 300 people), but lead vocalist Jack Russell refused to play unless there was a guarantee of 500?; Great White guitarist Ty Longley dies in the blaze; on Dec. 9 Jeffrey and Michael Derderian, the owners of the nightclub and Daniel Biechele (26), the tour manager of Great White are indicted; in Feb. 2006 Biechele pleads guilty to 100 counts of involuntary manslaughter, and on May 10, 2006 is sentenced to a light four years, stirring outrage from victims' families; on Sept. 29, 2006 owner Michael Derderian (1961-) receives four years, and his brother Jeffrey Derderian (1967-) gets no time from Judge Frances Darigan, all without a trial, causing outrage by victims' relatives. On Feb. 20 Kuwaiti-born U. of Southern Fla. computer science prof. Sami Amin Al-Arian (1958-), a founder of the Islamic Society of North Am. (ISNA), and prominent speaker against "Islamophobia" is arrested by the U.S. govt. for being the alleged leader of the Palestine Islamic Jihad (PIJ) anti-Israel terrorist org. in the U.S.; he pleads guilty in 2006, and is sentenced to 57 mo. On Feb. 25 after promoting an end to regionalism in politics via an Internet campaign, human rights atty. Roh Moo-hyun (1946-2009) becomes pres. #16 of South Korea (until Feb. 25, 2008). On Feb. 26 the U.S. Supreme Court rules that federal racketeering (RICO) laws cannot be used to stop abortion protesters - a chain of crimes to protect a source of income, not to stop somebody else's? On Feb. 27 Rolandas Paksas (1956-) becomes pres. #3 of Lithuania since it gained independence from the Soviet Union in 1991 (until Apr. 6, 2004). On Feb. 28 economist Vaclav Klaus (1941-) is elected pres. #2 of Czech., and is sworn-in on Mar. 7 (until Mar. 7, 2013). In Feb. Gen. Omar al-Bashir and his Arab Muslim Janjaweed (Arab. "horse genies", "evil horsemen") militia begin a campaign of ethnic and religious persecution in drought-stricken Darfur in W Sudan, burning down villages, killing 180K (mostly Christians), and driving 2M from their homes within a few years; within three years they kill 300K and drive 2.5M from their homes into Chad and Central African Repub. In Feb. the Occupy London March in Hyde Park, C London becomes the largest protest in British history; too bad, it fails to stop Britain from joining the U.S. invasion of Iraq 32 days later. In Feb. railroad giant CSX Corp. CEO John William Snow (1939-) becomes U.S. treasury secy. #73 (until June 28, 2006); in Mar. Congress passes a 3% federal exise tax on long distance calls and bundled services, collecting $13B by 2006, when lawsuits causes it to it reverse course and offer the money back. In Feb. Cuban Luis Grass Rodriguez tries again, attempting to reach Fla. aboard a 1959 Buick sedan converted into a boat; by Dec. 2004 he has been granted refugee status in Costa Rica. In Feb. a controversial referendum in Kyrgyzstan expands the powers of corrupt pres. Askar Akayev; in June parliament grants him lifelong immunity from prosecution - washed away? In Feb. Egyptian cleric Osama Moustafa Hassan Nasr (1963-) is kidnapped from a street in Milan, Italy by the CIA, then tortured for the next 14 mo.; 26 Americans are later put on trial in Italy for it in absentia. In Feb. after two reporters bring a lawsuit against their employer Fox News (owned by Ruper Murdoch) for ordering them to falsify their findings then firing them after they refused, a Fla. Appeals Court rules that "There is no rule against distorting or falsifying the news in the United States." On Mar. 1 Al-Qaida mastermind ($25M bounty on his head) Khalid Sheikh Mohammad (1964-) is arrested in Rawalpindi, Pakistan along with money man Mustafa Ahmed al-Hawsawi. On Mar. 1 the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) is incorporated into the U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security. On Mar. 3 Al-Qaida leader Abu Mohammed Al Masri is assassinated in Lebanon by the Israelis. On Mar. 3 the parliament of Serbia and Montenegro is inaugrated, replacing the Yugoslavian parliament. On Mar. 3 British atty.-gen. (2001-7) Peter Henry Goldsmith, Baron Goldsmith (1950-) writes a Letter to PM Tony Blair, telling him that deposing Saddam Hussein would be a blatant breach of internat. law; after being leaked to the press, it is officially pub. on Apr. 28, 2005. On Mar. 4 WHO issues a rare travel advisory for SARS. On Mar. 5 Nigerian opposition leader Harry Marshall is assassinated. On Mar. 5 the U.S. Supreme Court by 5-4 upholds Calif.'s notorious Three Strikes and You're Out sentencing law - there's one bright side - at least America is moving closer to Islamic countries on the law & order issue? On Mar. 6 an Air Algeria Boeing 737 jet crashes, killing 102 in the S Algerian province of Tamanrasset, becoming the worst crash in Algeria since 1962 independence. On Mar. 8 Hamas vows revenge after one of its founding members and three bodyguards are killed in an Israeli heli attack in Gaza; meanwhile the Israeli army promises to strike again. On Mar. 8 Nashville Star, a clone of "American Idol" for country singers debuts on USA Network (until Aug. 4, 2008); the 2003 season sees Miranda Lambert come in #3 then sign a contract with Epic Records. On Mar. 12 Serb leader Zoran Djindjic (1952-2003), is assassinated 1 mo. after Yugoslavia is abolished in favor of the new state of Serbia and Montenegro, and Kostunica steps down in favor of him. On Mar. 14 underdog former mayor of Istanbul (1994-8) Recep Tayyip Erdogan (1954-) (whose wife Emine wears the veil) becomes PM of Turkey (until ?), succeeding Abdullah Gul (whose wife Haynrunisa wears a headscarf), who resigned over U.S. troop deployment in Turkey, which was narrowly defeated on Mar. 1; the wearing of Sharia garb was outlawed by Kemal Ataturk, revealing a resurgence of Muslim fundamentalism; Erdogan is a friend of Saudi terrorism financier Yasin al-Qadi (1956-), and protects him from sanctions. On Mar. 14 U.S. Rep. James P. Moran Jr. steps down as a regional Whip for the House Dems. for making what he called "insensitive" remarks about Jews pushing the U.S. into war with Iraq - but are they true? On Mar. 14-15 the Dixie Chicks (Natalie Maines, Martie Maguire, Emily Robison) are pulled from country music station playlists after lead singer Natalie in a London concert on Mar. 10 comments that she is "ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas", despite an apology on Mar. 14 for being "disrespectful"; the petty viciousness of the backlash from the "American patriots" makes everybody ashamed of lots more people from Texas?; on Apr. 24 Diane Sawyer attempts to rehabilitate the Chix by interviewing them on TV in an Americanized version of the Stalinist show trial, and a nude mag. cover totally patches things up? On Mar. 15 Hu Jintao (1942-) becomes pres. #6 of the People's Repub. of China (until ?), replacing Jiang Zemin; on Mar. 16 Wen Jiabao (1942-) becomes PM #6 of the People's Repub. of China (until ?) - hu, wen, jin, jia, and bao? On Mar. 16 U.S. vice-pres. Dick Cheney utters the soundbyte to reporters that "We will in fact be greeted as liberators... I think it will go relatively quickly... weeks rather than months"; he adds, "We believe (Saddam) has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons" - is that like orange juice? On Mar. 17 chemical engineer George Maxwell Richards (1931-) becomes pres. #4 of Trinidad and Tobago (until ?), becoming the first Amerindian head of state in the Anglophone Caribbean. On Mar. 17 after claiming to have exhausted the diplomatic options, Pres. Bush gives Madass Saddam a generous 48 hours to leave Dodge, er, his own country with his sons and heirs. On Mar. 17 a law goes into effect in the Netherlands permitting pharmacies to fill prescriptions for marijuana - and lead us not into temptation? On Mar. 18 a huge wet snowstorm, the worst in 90 years hits Colo., which is in the middle of its biggest drought in recorded history; the weather stays wet for the rest of the year and next, ending the drought. On Mar. 18 British PM Tony Poodle, er, Blair wins the approval of Parliament for joining the U.S. in using force to disarm Iraq despite some defections in his own party; meanwhile, France, Germany, and Russia continue to pooh-pooh them, triggering an anti-French reaction by Americans (who figure that the Frogs owe them for liberating their country in WWII?), causing a movement to change the name "French fries" to Freedom Fries, incl. the cafeterias in the U.S. House office bldgs. The Chimp President Plunges the U.S. Into Lord Knows What? On Mar. 19 after Pres. Bush relies on conclusions by neoconservative Pentagon policy chief (undersecy. of defense for policy) Douglas J. Feith (1953-) that Saddam Hussein is linked to Al-Qaida, plus the advice of Jewish-Am. Islam expert Bernard Lewis (1916-) and Shiite Iraqi exile Ahmed (Ahmad) Abdel Hadi Chalabi (1944-20915) ("the George Wasington of Iraq", who later proves to be only it for the Shiites) Operation Iraqi Freedom to disarm Iraq, rid it of them pesky WMDs and force a regime change begins; the same day U.S. Sen. (D-W.V.) (1959-2010) Robert Carlyle Byrd (Cornelius Calvin Sale Jr.) (1917-2010) gives a speech in the Senate, saying "I weep for my country" as the U.S. discards its image of a strong, benevolent peacekeeper and begins the U.S.-Iraq War (ends ?), which becomes the TBI (traumatic brain injury) war, with improved body armor causing the highest injury survival rate in the history of warfare (86%), filling VA hospitals with disfigured and brain-damaged soldiers, who get to enjoy all the new hi-tech prosthetic devices; Britain's Prince Charles secretly lobbies in vain against it; the Bush admin. begins a secret Pentagon program to use retired military analysts to generate positive war news coverage; Iraqi Gen. Babaker Baderkhan Shawkat Zebari is appointed chief of staff of the Iraqi Joint Forces (until ?); the war is a giant mistake as it plays into al-Qaida's hands, eliminating their rival Saddam Hussein, intensifying anti-Americanism, helping them recruit more suicide bombers, and giving them time to destabilize the govt. of Pakistan in order to get their hands on nukes?; after Saddam Hussein's regime falls, the downtrodden Shiites finally get to observe their annual Ashoura holiday despite the threat of Sunni attacks as a demonstration of power; meanwhile the 1M Iraqi Christians, which Saddam's regime kept from harm, find themselves in the middle of a world of hurt, and begin fleeing to Syria and Jordan amid mindless hate and murder - Bush's Planet of the Apes? On Mar. 19 a Cuban Aerotaxi plane is hijacked en route from Havana to the Isle of Youth in Cuba and flown to Fla., after which USAF jets intercept it and escort it to Key West. On Mar. 20 U.S. Navy SEALS in their largest operation to date capture the Mabot and Kaaot oil platforms along with the port of Al Faw, preparing Iraq for a U.S. invasion; on Mar. 20 the U.S. stages a surgical air strike, using over two dozen cruise missles on the suspected Baghdad bunker of Big Bad Sodamn Insane; too bad, he is nowhere near the site, triggering massive world protests of the supposed injustice of attacking the murderous sick demented turdball's regime before it can attack the U.S., even though it is the U.S. who is paying and doing all the work, while they benefit; on Mar. 21 (8:09 p.m. local time) the U.S. opens up its promised Shock and Awe (Shock Allah?) phase of the war, invented by consultant Harlan K. Ullman (1941-) with a massive hi-tech air strike on Baghdad, inviting eager comparisons with the Nazi Blitzkrieg, even though the idea behind it is to attack only the regime not the subject people; on Mar. 20 a Gallup poll shows that 76% of Americans approve of the decision to go to war; the irrational hate flaring worldwide against the U.S. is so great that the question remains open of whether the entire Islamic world will finally unite in a suicidal religious jihad against the Great Satan of the U.S. and its Western allies, and bring the 14-cent.-long Muslim-Christian-Jewish world religious lifestyle war back, while the atheists, secularists et al. wait in the wings and hope they all give up their ridiculous beliefs of a looming End of the World once and for all? - what you been missing? On Mar. 23 a referendum approves a new constitution confirming Chechnya as part of the Russian Federation; on Oct. 5 Akhmad (Akhmat) Abdulkhamidovich Kadyrov (1951-2004) is elected pres. of the Chechen Repub. (until May 9, 2004). On Mar. 23 Abdul Majid Dar, former leader of Kashmir's largest Islamic rebel group is assassinated by Kashmir gunmen in retribution for talking with the Indian govt. On Mar. 23 Al-Jazeera (named for the N portion of Mesopotamia, the S portion being called Iraq Arabi) goes live on the Internet with an English language website, but is quickly knocked offline. On Mar. 23 the 75th Academy Awards in Los Angeles are hosted by Steve Martin (2nd time), and 279 films are eligible for consideration; the best picture Oscar for 2002 goes to Chicago along with best supporting actress to Catherine Zeta-Jones, best dir. to Roman Polanski for The Pianist, along with best actor to Adrien Brody (youngest ever, displacing Richard Dreyfuss), best actress to Nicole Kidman for The Hours, and best supporting actor to Chris Cooper for Adaptation; Michael Moore wins an Oscar for his documentary film Bowling for Columbine, then gets hooted off the stage during a speech calling Bush "a fictional president who won a fictional election". On Mar. 24 the Arab League calls for the U.S. and Britain to withdraw their troops from Iraq immediately; the same day Saddam Hussein appears on Iraqi TV, saying that "victory is soon". On Mar. 25 Saudi Arabia makes a peace proposal to Iraq and the U.S. On Mar. 27 Serbian police kill two major suspects in the assassination of PM Zoran Djindjic. On Mar. 28 Japan launches its first spy satellites, causing North Korea to go nonlinear and huff and puff. On Mar. 31 ignoring his apology, NBC fires Peter Arnett for telling Iraqi TV that the U.S. war plan had failed in its initial stages; London's Daily Mirror quickly hires him. On Mar. 30 Donald Rumsfeld utters the soundbyte to reporters, "We know where [the WMDs] are." On Mar. 31 a Cuban airliner with 32 passengers is hijacked to Key West, Fla. In Mar. Internat. Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) dir. gen. (since 1997) Mohamed el-Baradei (1942-) tells the U.N. Security Council that the documents claiming to prove that Iraq tried to acquire uranium from Niger are bogus, after which the U.S. tries to get him fired, but can't get enough support from other countries, after which on June 9 Condoleezza Rice meets with him and the U.S. drops its objections, and he is reappointed on June 13; he is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2005. On Apr. 1 U.S. Special Forces rescue from an Iraqi hospital U.S. Army Pfc. Jessica Lynch (1984-), whose 507th Ordnance Maintenance Co. had been ambushed on Mar. 23 in Nasiriya, Iraq, becoming an overblown media event; everybody's got a theory (she is from Palestine, W. Va., get it?); Mohammed Odeh Al-Rehatef, the Iraqi atty. who helped her escape is granted asylum in the U.S.; following her release from the hospital she returns to W. Va. to fiance Sgt. Ruben Contreras, then later drops him for Wes Robinson, and has a 7 lb. 10 oz. baby girl on Jan. 9, 2007. On Apr. 1 two men carrying grenades hijack a Cuban Aerotaxi plane to the U.S. but it lands in Havana after running out of fuel; no more hijackings in Cuba until May 3, 2007. On Apr. 3 moderate Shiite cleric Abdul Majid al-Khoei returns to his home city of Najaf, Iraq from exile in the U.K; on Apr. 10 he is killed by a mob on the orders of radical Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr. On Apr. 6-7 after Saddam Hussein, fearing a Shiite uprising to which he would need to send troops, delays blowing up a key bridge on the Euphrates River S of the city to block their advance, U.S. forces easily raid C Baghdad and encircle the city, finding little resistance; at 2 p.m. on Apr. 7 an airstrike on Sodamn's residential palace in Baghdad is rumored to have killed him and his two devil spawn sons, but actually he is nowhere near the site, as he flees west toward Ramadi with them to escape U.S. forces, staying in a network of safe houses in civilian neighborhoods; on Apr. 7 he happens to be in a safe house only 1.5 mi. from the route taken by U.S. troops on their 2nd Thunder Run into Baghdad; on the night of Apr. 10 the U.S. bombs a bldg. next to a Ramadi house he is hiding in, causing him and his sons Odai and Qusai to split with him the next morning, going to Tikrit and Mosul (home of muslin), where U.S. troops kill them in July; meanwhile English journalist Boris Johnson (1964-) finds a cool leather cigar case in the bombed-out Baghdad villa of deputy PM Tariq Aziz, and decides to keep it, which later causes.Iraq to demand it back after he becomes mayor of London on May 4, 2008, and he finally surrenders it on June 24, 2008. On Apr. 7 the U. of Texas at Austin announces that it is paying $5M for the Watergate Papers of Bob Woodward (1943-) and Carl Bernstein. On Apr. 7 Haitian pres. Jean-Bertrand Aristide celebrates the 200th anniv. of the death of Haiti's founder Toussaint l'Ouverture by claiming that France owes it $21.7B in reparations for colonialism and slavery; on Apr. 8 France rejects the demand, pointing to the $2.4B lent to it by the internat. community, incl. $240M from France. On Apr. 8 a U.S. tank fires on Hotel Palestine in Baghdad, killing Spanish TV journalist Jose Couso Permui (b. 1965); on Oct. 19, 2005 a court in Madrid issues an internat. arrest warrant for the 3-man U.S. Third Infantry tank crew, Sgt. Shawn Gibson, Capt. Philip Wolford, and Lt. Col. Philip de Camp. On Apr. 9 Baghdad falls as Saddam Hussein's army proves to be what he once (1990) called the U.S. army, a paper tiger; the name of Saddam Internat. Airport is changed; too bad, Baghdad has 2M Sunnis and 4M Shiites, who hate each other's guts so bad that civil war soon brews, with the hapless U.S. troops in the middle, and Iran waiting in the wings to back the Shiites, with an obvious plan to exterminate the Sunnis and Kurds, amalgamate the two countries, get nukes, and then form the main shaft of a spear headed directly into Israel, pushing it into the sea, and leaving the U.S. in the position of picking up refugees like in the days of Dunkirk? - and the Clueless Chimp of the White House unable to face the reality that if he had just left Saddam in power it would have remained stable? On Apr. 11 Donald Rumsfeld is questioned by reporters about widespread looting in Baghdad, and utters the soundbyte: "Stuff happens, and it's untidy, and freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things." On Apr. 13 during the confusion of the U.S. invasion the Baghdad Museum is stripped by prof. thieves. On Apr. 13 the U.S. announces the capture of Watban Ibrahim Hasan al-Tikriti, half-brother and adviser to Saddam Hussein. On Apr. 13 seven U.S. POWs, incl. black Army Specialist Shoshana Nyree Johnson (1973-) (first black POW in U.S. history) are released by Iraqi troops near Trikit. On Apr. 13 U.S. Sgt. Hasan K. Akbar (Mark Fidel Kools) (1971-) of the 326th Engineer Battalion lobs four stolen hand grenades and shoots his M-4 rifle into three tents filled with sleeping officers at the U.S. 101st Airborne Div. 1st Brigade ops center in Kuwait, killing Capt. Christopher Seifert and Maj. Gregory Stone; in Apr. 2005 he is sentenced to death, and executed on ?. On Apr. 13-14 the badly decomposed bodies of Laci Peterson (b. 1975) and her fetus are found in Point Richmond in San Francisco Bay, causing authorities to arrest her husband, fertilizer salesman Scott Lee Peterson (1972-) on Apr. 18 and charge him with capital murder; he hires famed defense atty. Mark John Geragos (1957-), known for representing pop star Michael Jackson; Rick Warren's "A Purpose-Driven Life" is on his car seat during his arrest, given him by blonde girlfriend Amber Dawn Frey (1975-), who had been working with authorities to draw him out. On Apr. 15 Abu (Mohammad) Abbas (1948-2004), mastermind of the 1985 PLO Achille Lauro hijacking is captured at his Badhdad home where he had lived for years basking in the glory of an Islamic freedom fighter. On Apr. 16 Am. Airlines narrowly averts bankruptcy after flight attendants agree to $340M in labor concessions; all the airlines are teetering on the brink now since 9/11 did them in. On Apr. 19 Nigerian Pres. Olusegun Obasanjo wins a new term in an election opponents denounce as fraudulent. On Apr. 20 the U.S. Army takes control of Baghdad from the Marines. On Apr. 24 a 14-y.-o. boy shoots and kills his junior high school principal in Red Lion, Penn. On Apr. 26 Russia launches Soyuz TMA-2, carrying cosmonauts Yuri Ivanovich Malenchenko (1961-) and Edward Tsang Lu (1963-) of the U.S.; on Oct. 18 Soyuz TMA-3 blasts off, carrying cosmonauts Alexander Yuriyevich "Sasha" Kaleri (1956-), Colin Michael Foale (1957-), and Pedro Duque Duque (1963-) of Spain; Soyuz TMA-2 returns on Oct. 28 with Yuri Malenchenko, Edward Tsang Lu, and Pedro Duque; Soyuz TMA-3 returns next Apr. 30 with Alexander Kaleri, Michael Foale, and Andre Kuipers. On Apr. 30 after 30 mo. of violence the Quartet (U.S., EU, Russia, and the secy.-gen. of the U.N.) issues the Middle East Roadmap, outlining a 3-phase plan to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, namely, Phase 1: "Ending terror and violence, normalizing Palestinian life, and building Palestinian institutions", Phase 2: "Interim agreement with a Palestinian state having provisional borders and attributes of sovereigny... as a way station to a permanent status settlement", and Phase 3: "Permanent status agreement and the end of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict"; on Nov. 20, 2003 U.N. Resolution 1515 based on it is endorsed unanimously by the U.N. Security Council, incl. Syria, calling for a permanent 2-state solution after the cessation of violence, reform of the Palestinian National Authority, and dismantling of the Palestinian terrorist infrastructure, along with the "illegal outposts" of Israel; June 4 Mahmoud Abbas accepts it, followed on May 23 by Ariel Sharon, and on May 25 by the Israeli cabinet; on Mar. 19, 2010 the Quartet endorses it again. In Apr. a stash of foreign currency worth $200M ($100M U.S., 90M euros) is found in a Baghdad neighborhood; it is flown out of Iraq and set to be returned to help rebuild it. In Apr. Hutu Domitien Ndayizeye (1953-) becomes pres. of Burundi (until 2005). In Apr. Genovese crime family head Vincent "the Chin" Gigante (1928-), serving a 12-year sentence from a July 1997 racketeering conviction admits his long-time insanity ruse and pleads guilty to obstruction of justice, receiving another 3 years; for years he had wandered the streets of Greenwich village in nightclothes, muttering incoherently, while his Roman Catholic priest brother claimed he suffered from dementia. In Apr. the U.S. Naval Training Range on the E half of beautiful Vieques Island 8 mi. E of Puerto Rico's main island is closed after decades of using it as a target for bombs and rockets (since 1948), creating a cleanup nightmare. In Apr. screenwriter Anthony Robert "Tony" Kushner (1956-) and Entertainment Weekly ed. Mark Harris become the first to have their same-sex committment ceremony featured in the Vows column of the New York Times. Oh mister bookworm what's the matter? On May 1 Pres. Bush emerges from a Navy jet clad in a flight suit on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln under a giant "Mission Accomplished" banner, announcing that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended... In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed. The battle of Iraq is one victory in a war on terror that began on Sept. 11, 2001, and still goes on. We do not know the day of final victory, but we have seen the turning of the tide"; meanwhile shooting goes on daily, the country has no basic services, neither Saddam Hussein nor his spooky WMDs have been found, and giant ammounts of weapons and ammo are stolen by insurgents to fight with and make IUDs out of; up to this speech, 139 U.S. soldiers been killed, and three years later the figure increases by 2,258 - if the U.S. had summarily pulled out then and there, Bush would have been right? On May 5 a UFO was supposed to pick up true believers, according to Dr. Malachi Z. York, founder of the Nuwaubians in Georgia, USA. On May 7 Pres. Bush orders U.S. sanctions against Iraq lifted. On May 8 the U.S. Senate unanimously endorses adding seven former Communist nations to Nato: Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuana, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia. On May 10 Shiite leader Ayatollah Sayed Mohammed Baqir al-Hakim (b. 1939) returns triumphantly to his Iraqi homeland after two decades in Iranian exile; on Aug. 29 he is killed along with 84-125 others when a car blomb explodes as he leaves Imam Ali Mosque in Najaf. On May 11 the U.S. declares the Iraqi Ba'ath Party dead. On May 11 the famous gold-ivory-enamel Saliera (salt cellar) made by Benvenuto Cellini in 1543 for French king Francois I is stolen from the Kunsthistorisches Museum in Vienna in a smash-and-grab robbery in which the guards miss the event and have no clue as to who did it; 3 years later it is found in a forest N of the city. May 13 Prophets Foul and Fair? On May 13 the world is supposed to end, according to Nancy Lieder of ZetaTalk. On May 13 suicide bombers linked to Al-Qaida strike Western housing compounds in the Saudi capital Riyadh, killing 26; the attack is later pinned on Al-Qaida, becoming their 4th terrorist attack since 9/11; a taped voice in Apr. thought to be Osama bin Laden's exhorted Muslims to rise up against Saudi Arabia and called for suicide attacks against U.S. and British interests. On May 14 S Texas "coyote" smugglers abandon more than 70 illegal immigrants in an airtight locked trailer at a Victoria, Tex. truck stop 100 mi. SW of Houston after they kick out a signal light to get attention; 19 die from heat prostration; 14 people, incl. Victor Sanchez Rodriguez and his wife Emma Sapata Rodriguez are indicted on conspiracy, smuggling, and other charges; the truck driver Tyrone Williams (1970-) is tried on charges that could bring the death penalty, and given life in priz on Jan. 18, 2007. On May 16 Moroccan suicide bombers simultaneously attack five Jewish and foreign targets in Casablanca, Morocco, killing 41 and wounding 100; the attacks are later pinned on Al-Qaida, showing that Morocco may be next on the list of semi-sane regimes to be undermined. On May 17 Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re of the Vatican acknowledges that Pope John Paul II is suffering from Parkinson's Disease. On May 18 a Hamas suicide attacker disguised as an observant Jew kills seven Israeli bus passengers. On May 19 WorldCom Inc. agrees to pay investors $500M to settle civil fraud charges. On May 22 the U.N. Security Council gives the U.S. and Britain a mandate to rule Iraq, ending 13 years of economic sanctions. On May 22 John McCain brags about his support for the Bush admin. with the soundbyte: "I voted with the president over 90% of the time, higher than a lot of my Republican colleagues", which is later used against him bigtime when he runs for pres. in 2008. On May 24 Paul McCartney plays a 3-hour show in Russia's Red Square, featuring 30 hit songs incl. "Back in the USSR"; the Beatles had been banned from playing in Russia in the 1960s. On May 25 Israel's govt. conditionally approves by a narrow margin an internationally-backed road map to peace; on May 26 Israeli PM Ariel Sharon angers hardliners with a speech to his Likud Party that he is determined to reach a peace deal with everybody's pals the Palestinians. On May 26 93% of Rwandans vote to approve a new 2003 Rwandan Constitution giving Hutus and Tutsis a balance of power, with neither allowed to hold more than half the seats in parliament, and the incitement of ethnic hatred outlawed; on Aug. 26 pres. elections give pres. Paul Kagame a landslide V. On May 28 the French Council of the Muslim Faith (Muslim Council of France) is founded to represent Muslims to the French govt. On May 29 Pres. Bush issues the soundbyte to reporters: "We found the weapons of mass destruction." On May 29 the Moulin Rouge (built 1955), Las Vegas' first desegregated casino-resort burns down (arson). On May 31 an annular solar eclipse is seen from Northern Scotland, the Faroe Islands, and Iceland, with a partial eclipse covering much of Europe and Russia. In May U.S. troops in Iraq find a Jewish archive in a flooded basement of Saddam Hussein's Mukhabarat secret police; despite there being only 10 Jews left in Iraq by 2010, the Iraq govt. demands that they be returned. In May Al-Qaida begins implementing the Mountain Manifesto, a plan to take over Saudi Arabia. In May the Guldimann Fax is allegedly received by the U.S. State Dept. by Nat. Security Council officials Flynt Leverett and his wife Hillary Mann Leverett claiming that the govt. of Iran is making a historic offer of a "grand bargain" to resolve all disputes with the U.S., which disses it as inauthentic; it later turns out to be composed by Swiss ambassador to Iran Tim Buldimann. On June 1 Shukri Mohammed Ghanem (1942-), former research dir. of OPEC becomes PM of Libya (until Mar. 1, 2006), going on to utter the soundbyte on Sept. 16, 2004 that Israel is "a mistake in the political geography", and that U.S. military intervention in Iraq has "fed extremists and fundamentalists and results in the dissemination of violence" because "it is necessary to deal with oil-producing areas and the areas of pipelines as sacred places". On June 3 document Considerations, approved on Mar. 28 by co-author Pope John Paul II is released by the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, headed by co-author Cardinal Ratzinger, condemning same-sex marriage, saying that all Catholics are "obliged to oppose the legal recognition of homosexual unions", while a Catholic politician "has a moral duty to express his opposition clearly and publicly and to vote against it, with the soundbyte that "homosexuality is a troubling moral and social phenomenon", adding "Men and women are equal as persons and complementary as male and female", and "No ideology can erase from the human spirit the certainty that marriage exists solely between a man and a woman." On June 4 Pres. Bush holds landmark peace plan meetings with the PMs of Israel and Palestine after winning support from top Arab leaders; they amount to diddly squat? On June 9 French helis rescue more than 500 Americans and others as rebels bear down on the capital of Liberia, cornering warlord-pres. (since Aug. 2, 1997) Charles McArthur Ghankay Taylor (1948-) in Monrovia as U.S. Navy warships hover off the coast and Pres. Bush urges him to step down. On June 10 Israeli helis wound senior Hamas leader Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi and kill two others; they finally get him next Apr.; on June 11 a suicide bomber kills 17 people in a Jerusalem bus blast; in retaliation two Israeli rocket strikes against Hamas fugitives kill 11 Palestinians in Gaza City. On June 11 a ceremony is held in New York City at the corner of West and Chambers to celebrate the first seeing-eye dog. On June 18 the U.S. Census Bureau announces that Hispanics outnumber blacks in the U.S. for the first time, making them the largest minority group, with 38.8M, a 9.8% increase since 2000; blacks are up 3.1% to 36.6M, out of a total U.S. pop. of 288.4M, up 2.5%. On June 18 Denver, Colo. bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman (1953-) captures Max Factor heir Andrew Stuart Luster (1963-) in Puerto Villarta, Mexico, after he was convicted of raping three women and fled the U.S., catapulting the Dog to fame and resulting in the cable TV series Dog the Bounty Hunter; on Sept. 14, 2006 he and two associates are arrested in Hawaii on Mexican charges from the incident. On June 22 a record 18.75" hailstone is found in Aurora, Neb. On June 23 the U.S. Supreme Court votes 6-3 in Gratz v. Bollinger to strike down the U. of Mich. undergrad affirmative action program because its point system is too quotalike; the same day they vote 5-4 in Grutter v. Bollinger to uphold affirmative action at the U. of Mich. law school as long as race is part of a nuanced review of each applicant; in the first vote Stevens, Ginsburg, and Souter dissent; in the 2nd Kennedy, Rehnquist, Scalia, and Thomas dissent, and the deciding vote is cast by O'Connor; Pres. Bush. issues a statement applauding the court for recognizing the value of diversity - how did such a tiny number of people get in this position anyway? On June 26 the U.S. Supreme Court rules 6-3 in Lawrence v. Tex. that states can't enforce sodomy (gay sex) laws because they violate the Constitutional right to privacy first invented, er, enunciated in Griswold v. Conn. (1965); "The State cannot demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime" (Anthony Kennedy) - so you like English muffins? On June 28 the toll of U.S. dead since the start of the Iraqi invasion tops 200 - it'll never reach a thousand? In June the first-ever private Moon launch by TransOrbital, Inc. of La Jolla, Calif. blasts off from Kazakhstan. In June the first parliamentary elections in Jordan under King Abdullah give his supporters a two-thirds majority. In June U.S. Army chief of staff Gen. Eric Ken Shinseki (1942-), the first Asian U.S. gen. retires after telling defense secy. Donald Rumsfeld that it would take several hundred thousand, not 140K soldiers to pacify Iraq; he is replaced by Lt. Gen. Ricardo S. Sanchez (1951-), the highest-ranking Hispanic in the U.S. Army (until Nov. 1, 2006), who later slams Bush's handling of the Iraq war. In June ever-leading New Zealand legalizes prostitution - Xena the Warrior Princess jokes here? In June Falls Church, Va. Dar al-Hijrah Mosque member Ahmed Omar Abu Ali (1981-) is arrested in Saudi Arabia, and extradited back to the U.S., where on Nov. 22, 2005 he is convicted of providing material support to al-Qaida and conspiring to assassinate Pres. George W. Bush; the mosque's dir. of outreach (since June 2002), imam Johari Abdul Malik (born Winslow Seale in La.) tells the New York Times that Abu Ali is comparable to civil rights hero Rosa Parks; in 2001-2 the imam of Dar al-Hijrah was N.M.-born Anwar al-Awlaki (1971-2011), Islam's Mr. Sunshine, whose sermons were attended by three 9/11 hijackers, and hosted eager attendant Maj. Nidal Hasan; next year after years of lying to infidel Americans about his true intentions, he flees to Yemen to head up an al-Qaida org., becoming the first U.S. citizen placed on the CIA target list in Apr. 2010. In June believers in Planet X predict it will get close enough to Earth to cause major damage. In June Am. Remote Viewing (RV) student Aaron C. Donahue announces that he's a Luciferian, because Lucifer is "the father of the human race" who genetically engineered humanity from primates, and is being framed by angels ("spiritual parasites"), who are really to blame for the world's problems, announcing his P.A.N. (Practical Application of Nonhistorical Data) that allegedly helped him win the Calif. Lottery, causing his teacher Ed Dames to break with him, causing him to utter the soundbyte: "Lucifer is the loving progenitor of what we refer to as a complete human being or mirror. It does not take your soul but rather, it provides sanctuary... Lucifer also oversees much of our future with children. This will explain why it is that Ed has never located a missing child. Ed is clearly influenced by the Angels who are at war with mankind..." On July 1 Israeli PM Ariel Sharon and Palestinian PM Mahmoud Abbas hold a summit, in which they rededicate themselves to peace efforts, and speak of a shared future for their incompatible peoples. On July 1 Los Angeles Lakers basketball star Kobe Bryant allegedly rapes a woman in his room at the Lodge and Spa at Cordillera Hotel in Edwards, Colo. the night before surgery by Dr. Richard Steadman, causing the sheriff of Eagle, Colo. arrests him in July, causing mucho publicity; the case is dropped after he admits to an affair and she refuses to testify, then files a civil suit that is settled out of court after he apologizes but admits no guilt. On July 4 the private Nat. Constitution Center in Philadelphia's Independence Mall opens in a gray Indiana limestone bldg. (no red brick). On July 5 a bomb blast in Ramadi, Iraq kills seven Iraqi police recruits as they graduate from a U.S.-taught training course. On July 6 Liberian pres. and super-thief Charles Taylor (1942-), who bled his country of its treasure accepts an asylum offer from Nigeria after a U.N. tribunal indicts him for crimes against humanity; on Aug. 10 he delivers his farewell address to a nation bloodied by 14 years of war, having no running water or electricity while he looted it blind, then absconds to live a life of ease in nearby Nigeria; in Mar. 27 2006 he vanishes from Nigeria just after it agrees to transfer him to a war crimes tribunal, and is captured and put on trial in The Hague, after which he claims that he wants to convert to Judaism, pissing-off Jews, who don't want him. On July 7 U.S. Gen. Tommy Franks, head honcho of the Iraqi invasion retires. On July 7 Am. leftist activist (aide to Pres. Clinton) John David Podesta (1949-) founds the liberal Center for Am. Progress in Washington, D.C., which is later described as the "official Hillary Clinton think tank"; on July 31, 2016 the report From Russia with Money: Hillary Clinton, the Russian Reset, and Cronyism, alleging that Hillary's campaign chmn. John Podesta sat on the board the Mossack Fonseca law firm in Panama along with Russian officials that received $35M from the Russian govt. of Vladimir Putin, and failed to fully disclose it on federal forms, after which the firm was the subject of the Panama Papers massive global offshore money laundering scandal, which incl. Mass.-based Joule Unlimited, owned by Joule Global Stitching, Russian investor Viktor Vekselberg and his Renova Group, and Swiss investor Hansjoerg Wyss and his Wyss Foundation, all of which are involved with the Clinton Global Initiative; this was done at the same time that Hillary was into her reset strategy with Russia, spearheading the transfer of advanced U.S. technology. On July 8 Pres. George W. Bush begins a 5-nation tour of Africa in Senegal, where he calls U.S. slavery one of history's greatest crimes while standing on the location of an old slave auction; on July 12 he wraps-up his tour of Africa, saying that he will not allow terrorists to use the continent as a base "to threaten the world". On July 10 the New Granada Mosque in Spain is competed, heralding the "return of Islam to Spain". On July 10 the Licensing Act of 2003 is enacted in Britain, simplifying licensing for pubs and allowing extended opening hours, effective Nov. 24, 2005. On July 12 the USS Ronald Reagan, the first carrier named for a living pres. is commissioned in Norfolk, Va. On July 13 Egyptian grand imam Muhammad Sayyid Tantawi (1928-2001) speaks at an Islamic conference in Kuala Lumpur against Islamic terrorism, saying "Extremism is the enemy of Islam. Whereas jihad is allowed in Islam to defend one's land, to help the oppressed, the difference between jihad in Islam and extremism is like the Earth and the sky" - which makes it okay for Palestinians? On July 14 Iraq's new governing council meets for the first time, and votes to send a delegation to the U.N. Security Council to assert its right to represent Baghdad. On July 14 the U.S. Senate scuttles by a 50-48 vote a proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage - the Senate is bifurcated on the issue? On July 15 Queer Eye for the Straight Guy debuts on Bravo-TV for 100 episodes (until Oct. 30, 2007), with a team of five gay men known as the Fab Five performing a makeover (make-better) on a straight man; in 2005 the title is shortened by Queer Eye; spawns Queer Eye for the Straight Girl (Jan. 11-May 8, 2005). On July 16 after confusing the gas pedal with the brake, 86-y.-o. retired salesman George Russell Weller (1916-) plows his 1992 Buick Le Sabre at freeway speed into a crowded farmers market in Los Angeles, Calif., killing 10 over a 2.5 block area; on Oct. 20 he is convicted of 10 counts of vehicular manslaughter with gross negligence, and in Nov. is let off on probation because of illness. On July 18 Nip/Tuck debuts on FX for 100 episodes (until Mar. 3, 2010), starring Dylan Walsh as Sean McNamara and Julian McMahon as Christian Troy, two plastic surgeons who get all the poontang they want by promising to make them beautiful. On July 19 a chartered airplane carrying three families to a game reserve plows into Mount Kenya, killing all 12 U.S. tourists and the two South African pilots. On July 22 Saddam Hussein's sons Qusai and Odai are killed in a gun battle with U.S. soldiers. On July 22-24 the House and Senate 9/11 Commission issues its 800-page Final Report on 9/11, citing countless screwups on the part of U.S. authorities; a chapter on Saudi financing of 9/11 is suppressed, along with info. linking 9/11 with the Saudi govt.? On July 23 an audiotape purporting to be from Saddam Hussein calls on Iraqis to resist the U.S. occupation - they listen and obey a man hiding in a hole? On July 27 America's best-loved comedian and icon Bob Hope (b. 1903) dies in Toluca Lake, Calif. at age 100, ending the 20th cent. for real? On July 28 rebels in Liberia capture Buchanan, its second-largest city. On July 31 two of Saddam Hussein's daughters and their nine children are granted refuge in Jordan. In July Australia restores order to the Solomon Islands, ending their civil war. In July Canada permits dispensing of marijuana by prescription. On Aug. 1 a suicide bomber in a hotel outside Chechnya kills 50. On Aug. 5 a suicide bomber kills 12 and wounds 150 at the J.W. Marriott Hotel in Setiabudi (near Jakarta), Indonesia; it is later pinned on Jamaah Islamiyah. On Aug. 5 the teen drama series The O.C. debuts on Fox Network for 92 expidodes (until Feb. 22, 2007), about teenies in Newport Beach, Calif., incl. Ryan Atwood, played by Benjamin McKenzie Schenkkan (1978-), a troubled teenie from Chino who is taken in by liberal Jewish public defender Sandy Cohen, played by Peter Killian Gallagher (1955-) and his wife Kirsten, played by Kelly Rowan (1965-), and their son Seth, played by Adam Jared Brody (1979-), who becomes a star playing a Jewish nerd with a Holden Caulfield wanderlust. On Aug. 6 Austrian-born Repub. "Conan the Barbarian", "The Terminator" actor Ahnuld (Arnold Schwarzenegger) (1947-) makes an appearance on NBC-TV's The Tonight Show With Jay Leno to announce his bid to replace Calif. Gov. Gray Davis, which he does quite handily, bringing a new, young electorate out with him, backed by his Kennedy Dem. wife Maria Shriver. On Aug. 6 Saudi Arabian college student Mohammed Ali Alayed (1981-) attacks and kills his Moroccan Jewish friend Michel Sellouk in Houston, Tex. with a knife, slashing his throat and attempting to sever his head; the police attempt a coverup by claiming they see no connection to race or religion, despite it coming out that Alayed had a "religious experience" two years earlier and became a devout Muslim. On Aug. 7 a bombing outside the Jordanian Embassy in Baghdad kills 19. On Aug. 9 the U.S. Army fires up its first chemical weapons incinerator located near a residential area, outside Anniston, Ala., destroying two rockets loaded with enough sarin nerve agent to wipe out a city. On Aug. 11 Pres. Bush chooses Utah Repub. Gov. (since 1993) Michael Okerlund "Mike" Leavitt (1951-) to head the EPA (until Jan. 26, 2005) - he mike leavitt alone, and he mike not? On Aug. 13 Iraq begins pumping crude oil from its N oil fields for the first time since the start of Bush's war. On Aug. 14 the Great 2003 Power Blackout, the worst power blackout in NE U.S. history affects 50M, incl. parts of Canada - penii and vagini collide with tidal wave proportions in the darky dark dark? On Aug. 14 Ala. Supreme Court chief justice Moses, er, Roy Stewart Moore (1947-) (a Repub.) defies a federal court order to remove a granite Ten Commandments monument from the state judicial bldg.; on Nov. 13 he not only loses the fight but his jobby job job when a judicial ethics panel accuses him of having "placed himself above the law" - thou shalt not have any other gods than the U.S. govt.? On Aug. 15 Episcopal leaders in Minneapolis approve the election of gay clergyman V. Gene Robinson (1947-) as bishop of the Diocese of N.H. - when he tries to put something in your mouth, close your eyes? On Aug. 19 a suicide truck bomb strikes U.N. HQ in Baghdad, killing 22, incl. the top U.N. envoy Sergio Vieira de Mello (b. 1948) of Brazil; al-Qaida-connected mastermind Ali Hussein Alwan Hamid al-Azzawi is captured in Iraq in Jan. 2010. On Aug. 27 Mars comes its closest to the Earth in 60K years, only 35M mi.; on Oct. 29, 2005 it appears above the horizon. On Aug. 27 a man who had been fired from an auto parts warehouse in Chicago six years earlier comes back armed and kills six employees before being killed by police. On Aug. 30 Russian nuclear sub K-159, being towed to a scrapyard sinks in a gale in the Barents Sea, killing 9 of 10 crew members. In Aug. impeachment proceedings against Zambian pres. (since 2002) Levy Mwanawasa are rejected by parliament. In Aug. the Internat. Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine opens, featuring genuine Yeti hair. On Sept. 6 Mahmoud Abbas resigns as Palestinian PM. On Sept. 8 the syndicated Ellen DeGeneres Show debuts (until ?), going on to win over a dozen Daytime Emmy Awards. On Sept. 9 the Boston Roman Catholic Archdiocese agrees to pay $85M to 552 people to settle clergy sex abuse cases. On Sept. 10 Swedish Foreign Minister Anna Lindh (age 46) is stabbed in a Stockholm dept. store; she dies on Sept. 11. On Sept. 11 Israel issues an ominous threat to "remove" Yasser Arafat for failing to halt suicide bombings. On Sept. 11 Canadian comedian Tommy Chong (1938-) is sentenced to 9 mo. in prison after pleading guilty to conspiring to sell bongs on the Internet; he serves 9 mo. On Sept. 14 Swedes reject the Euro, even though assassinated foreign minister Anna Lindh was ardently for it. On Sept. 14 Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, U.S. military cmdr. in Iraq authorizes the use of loud rock music to break terrorist POWs "to create fear, disorient... and prolong capture shock". On Sept. 17 Spain's leading investigating judge Baltasar Garzon (Garzón) Real (1955-) issues the first indictment against Osama bin Laden for the 9/11 attack. On Sept. 17 Pres. Bush tells reporters "There's no question that Saddam Hussein had Al-Qaida ties." On Sept. 18 Category 5 Hurricane Isabel plows into the Outer Banks of N.C. with 105 mph winds, then pushes its way up the E U.S. seaboard, killing 16 in seven states and doing $3.6B damage. On Sept. 21 after Richard Grasso resigns over an over-compensation scandal, former Citigroup CEO John Shepard Reed (1939-) (ousted on Feb. 28, 2000) is named temporary head of the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) (until ?), working for $1 salary and setting up new rules as the NYSE becomes a public corp. - wake up John Doe you're the hope of the world? On Sept. 22 the comedy series Two and a Half Men debuts on CBS-TV for 262 episodes (until Feb. 19, 2015), starring Charlie Sheen Carlos Irwin Estevez (1965-) as hedonistic jingle writer Charlie Francis Harper, Jonathan Niven "Jon" Cryer (1965-) (Matthew Broderick lookalike?) as his uptight brother Alan, and Angus Turner Jones (1993-) as his son Jake, who move into his Malibu beachfront house with him; becomes the biggest hit comedy of the decade; on Mar. 7, 2011 Sheen is fired for "moral turpitude", and replaced with Christopher Ashton Kutcher (1978-) as Walden Schmidt. On Sept. 23 Donald P. Bellisario's and Don McGill's NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Service), debuts on CBS-TV for ? episodes (until ?) as a spinoff of JAG, starring Mark Harmon (1951-) as Leroy Jethro Gibbs, head of the Major Case Response Team in Washington Navy Yard in Washington D.C. On Sept. 24 Pope John Paul II skips a weekly gen. audience due to an intestinal problem. On Sept. 24 15-y.-o. student John Jason McLaughlin (1988-) shoots and kills fellow students, 17-y.-o. Aaron Rollins and 14-y.-o. Seth Bartell at Rocori High School in Cold Springs, Minn.; he is sentenced to life in priz. On Sept. 25 France reports a death toll of 14,802, mostly elderly people without air conditioning from the summer heat wave; the young people were vacationing at the time, and arrived back to find thousands of negelected dead old people bottled up in their hot apts.? On Sept. 28 a massive blackout strikes almost all of Italy, leaving millions without power. In Sept. the reenactment of the ceremony 400 years earlier to install Guru Granth Sahib at the Golden Temple in Amritsar, India is attended by 2.5M. On Sept. 28 the police procedural series Cold Case debuts on CBS-TV for 156 episodes (until May 2, 2010), about the cold case div. of the Philly Police Dept., starring Kathryn Susan Morris (1969-) as Det. Lilly Rush. On Oct. 2 the Los Angeles Times pub. allegations that Calif. gov. candidate Arnold Gropenneger, er, Schwarzenegger had sexually harassed at least six women in his past by groping them on movie sets, studio offices, and gyms; Ahnuld gives a speech the same day to apologize, saying "Yes, I have behaved badly sometimes. Yes, it is true that I was on rowdy movie sets and I have done things that were not right which I thought then was playful, but now I recognize that I have offended people. And those people that I have offended, I want to say to them, 'I am deeply sorry about that and I apologize, because this is not what I'm trying to do.' When I'm governor, I want to prove to the women that I will be a champion for the women"; on Oct. 4 the Times adds three more women, one a CNN intern and two from his 1988 "Twins" movie set; on Oct. 5 four new accounts are pub. On Oct. 3 gay illusionist Roy Horny, er, Roy Horn (1945-) of Siegfried and Roy (Siegfried Fischbacher) is mauled by 380-lb. white tiger Montecore in front of a horrified audience at the Mirage in Las Vegas, Nev.; it sinks his teeth into his neck and drags him offstage, crushing his windpipe, ending the long-running act and leaving Horn partially paralyzed; the 7-y.-o. tiger had performed over 2Kx; conspiracy theories abound. On Oct. 3, former Colo. Dem. gov. Richard "Dick" Lamm gives the speech How to Destroy America, decrying multiculturalism and mass immigration. On Oct. 4 a Palestinian woman blows herself up inside a restaurant in Haifa, Israel, killing 21. On Oct. 5 Israel bombs an Islamic jihad base in Syria, becoming the first Israeli attack deep inside Syrian territory in three decades. On Oct. 5 (6?) Am. bear lover Timothy Treadwell (b. 1957), who has spent 13 summers in Alaska's Katmal Nat. Park studying grizzly bears up close is killed and eaten (along with his girlfriend Amie Huguenard) by a 20-y.-o. grizzly hard up for a pre-hibernation snack? On Oct. 5 Italian nun ("the Mother Teresa of Africa") Annalena Tonnelli is murdered in Borama, Somaliland by radical Muslims, who go on to persecute and brutally murder Christians unchecked (until ?). On Oct. 7 after personal financing by Bohemian-German-Lebanese Darrell E. Issa (1953-) (pr. EYE-suh), Calif. voters recall Gov. Gray Davis, and elect Austrian-born "Terminator" Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger (1947-) (AKA Ahnuld) as their new "governator" (gov. #38 of Calif.), who takes office Nov. 17 (until Jan. 3, 2011), uttering the soundbyte "Say hasta la vista to Gray Davis." On Oct. 9 a suicide car bomber at a police station in Baghdad, Iraq kills eight. On Oct. 9 Spanish military attache Sgt. Jose Antonio Bernal Gomez (b. 1969) is shot to death in Baghdad. On Oct. 11 18 doctors at Children's Medical Center in Dallas begin a successful 34-hour separation surgery for 2-y.-o. conjoined twins from Egypt, and finish on Oct. 12. On Oct. 12 a suicide attack outside a Baghdad hotel full of Americans kills six bystanders. On Oct. 15 a Staten Island ferry slams into a maintenance pier after the pilot blacks out at the controls, killing 11; the pilot, asst. capt. Richard Smith later pleads guilty to 11 counts of manslaughter, and on Jan. 9, 2006 is sentenced to 18 mo. in prison. On Oct. 15 after four unmanned missions since 1999, the Chinese Shenzhou 5 takes off from Jiuquan Launch Center in Gansu Province on a Long March 2F launch vehicle carrying military pilot Yang Liwei (1965-), orbiting 14x before returning after 21 h 22 m, becoming the first Chinese human space flight, making China the 3rd country with independent human spaceflight capability after the Soviet Union (Russia) and U.S. On Oct. 17 popular TV journalist Carlos Diego Mesa Gisbert (1953-) becomes pres. of Bolivia (until June 6, 2005), soon getting in over his head with the Bolivian Gas War. On Oct. 18-25 the Florida Marlins (NL) (mgr. Jack McKeon) defeat the New York Yankees (AL) (mgr. Joe Torre) by 4-2 to win the Ninety-Ninth (99th) World Series; on Oct. 16 the Red Sox are five outs from defeating the Yankees, but mgr. Grad Little keeps pitcher Pedro Martinez in the 8th inning too long, allowing the Yankees to win in extra innings. On Oct. 19 a nun gets some as Pope John Paul II beatifies Mother Teresa (1910-97) in St. Peter's Square in front of 300K pilgrims. On Oct. 20 Pres. Bush pushes North Korea's nuclear threat to the forefront of the 21-nation Asia-Pacific Summit in Thailand - to cries of "chicken" from the far-right wing when he doesn't just invade them like he did Iraq? On Oct. 21 the U.S. Senate votes to ban the practice of partial-birth abortion - whatever the squishy definition of it may be? On Oct. 21 Yasser Arafat is diagnosed with gallstones. On Oct. 22 Pres. Bush is heckled during a speech to a divided Australian Parliament in which he defends the war with Iraq. On Oct. 23 Pres. Bush winds up his Pacific trip in Hawaii, where he drops flowers into the water at the sunken battleship USS Arizona. On Oct. 24 the Concorde makes its last flight. On Oct. 25 thousands of anti-war protesters chanting "Impeach Bush!" hold a rally in Washington, D.C. On Oct. 26 a barrage of rockets hits Baghdad's Al-Rasheed Hotel, killing a U.S. col. and wounding 18 others; deputy U.S. defense secy. Paul Wolfowitz (1943-) (Pres. Clinton's atty. in the Paula Jones case) is in the hotel but is unhurt. On Oct. 26-28 wildfires fed by hot Santa Ana winds flare into gigantic walls of flame, devouring entire neighborhoods in the San Fernando Valley in S Calif. outside Los Angeles, killing 13. On Oct. 27 suicide bombers in Baghdad, Iraq strike a Red Cross HQ and three police stations, killing dozens. On Oct. 30 the U.S. House approves an $87.5B package for Iraq and Afghanistan, and on Nov. 3 the U.S. Senate approves it; it becomes a pres. campaign issue when Dem. candidate Sen. John Kerry of Mass. issues the soundbyte: "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it." On Oct. 30 four construction workers are killed when an Atlantic City, N.J. casino parking garage collapses. On Oct. 31 Dato' (Datuk) Seri Abdullah bin Haji Ahmad Badawi (1939-) of the UMNO becomes PM of Malaysia (until ?). On Oct. 31 14-y.-o. surfer Bethany Hamilton loses her left arm to a shark attack in Australia, but keeps on surfin'. On Nov. 1 Dem. pres. candidate (physician from Vt.) Howard Brush Dean III (1948-), known for his Internet campaign prowess on BlogforAmerica.com puts his joystick in his mouth when he tells the Des Moines Register that he wants to be "the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks". On Nov. 2 Iraqi insurgents use a shoulder-fired AA missile to shoot down a Chinook heli carrying dozens of U.S. soldiers near Fallujah, Iraq, killing 16 U.S. soldiers and injuring 26. On Nov. 2 the sitcom Arrested Development debuts on Fox Network for 53 episodes (until Feb. 10, 2006), about the dysfunctional formerly wealthy Bluth family in Newport Beach, Calif., starring Jeffrey Michael Tambor (1944-) as patriarch George Bluth Sr., Jason Kent Bateman (1969-) as Michael, and Portia de Rossi (Amanda Lee Rogers) (1973-) as Lindsay Funke ("It's vodka... it goes bad once it's been opened"), with a handheld camera reality style format narrated by Ron Howard, winning six Emmys and one Golden Globe but lasting only three seasons (Feb. 10, 2006), after which it is revived by Netflix in 2013-. On Nov. 4 NFL Network is launched, reaching 71.9M subscribers by 2015. On Nov. 7 a U.S. Black Hawk heli is downed hear Tikrit by an RPG, killing four crew and two passengers from the Dept. of the Army HQ in Washington. On Nov. 7 U.S. Pres. Bush gives a speech to the Nat. Endowment for Dem., in which he claims that the West must share the blame for the "freedom deficit" in W Asia (Middle East), with the soundbytes "Are the peoples of the Middle East somehow beyond the reach of liberty? Are millions of men and women and children condemned by history or culture to live in despotism? Are they alone never to know freedom and never even to have a choice in the matter?", and "Sixty years of Western nations excusing and accommodating the lack of freedom in the Middle East did nothing to make us safe because in the long run stability cannot be purchased at the expense of liberty." On Nov. 8 a suicide car bomber kills 17 and wounds 122 in a housing complex in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. On Nov. 9 Japanese PM Junichiro Koizumi's ruling bloc wins a majority in parliamentary elections. On Nov. 10 John Kerry replaces his campaign mgr. Jim Jordan with women's issues expert Mary Beth Cahill, reigniting his faltering U.S. pres. campaign - with Iraq turning into a potential Vietnam, how can he fail to beat George "W for Wrong" Bush? (just watch)? On Nov. 15 two Black Hawk helis crash in Mosul, Iraq after colliding while trying to avoid ground fire, killing 17 U.S. soldiers and wounding five. On Nov. 15 the 2003 Istanbul Bombings start with twin car bombs exploding outside two synagogues in Istanbul, Turkey, killing 23, plus the two bombers; Turkish foreign minister Abdullah Gul says that the two bombers had visited Afghanistan, and Al-Qaida is suspected; on Nov. 20 two more truck bombs detonate, killing 38; Syrian-born Loai al-Saqa is later convicted of masterminding the bombings, and given life without parole; on May 22, 2006 he appears in court wearing an orange Guantanamo Bay-style jumpsuit, and is kicked out. On Nov. 16 Serbia fails for the 3rd time in a year to elect a pres. because of low voter turnout. On Nov. 16 French U.N. worker Bettina Goislard (b. 1974) is shot and killed in Afghanistan. On Nov. 18 the Mass. Supreme Judicial Court rules 4-3 that the state constitution guarantees same-sex couples the right to marry, and the stampede to the courthouse steps for happy brides and brides and grooms and grooms begins starting Jan. 1, 2004 - there is no Big C difference between face and ass in Mass.? On Nov. 20 "Man in the Mirror" singer Michael Jackson is booked on suspicion of child molestation in Santa Barbara, Calif., accused of molesting a 13-y.-o. boy in 2003 - a zillion Michael Jackson gay pedophile jokes light up the Internet? On Nov. 20 super-rich record producer (Harvey) Phil Spector (1939-) is charged with murder in the Feb. 3 fatal shooting of actress-model Lana Clarkson (1962-) in his hilltop castle-like Alhambra, Calif. home, claiming she kissed a gun and committed "accidental suicide", which the D.A. disagrees with, saying he has evidence he pulled guns on other women, despite other evidence that Clarkson had gunshot residue on both of her hands; writer Mick Brown, who interviews Spector weeks before the killing later pub. a book detailing his long history of pulling loaded guns on people incl. John Lennon and The Ramones - but never pulling the trigger? On Nov. 20 truck bombs detonate at a London-based bank and the British consulate in Istanbul, killing over two dozen and wounding nearly 450; Al-Qaida is suspected. On Nov. 23 there is a total solar eclipse in Antarctica. On Nov. 23 Georgian pres. (since 1995) Eduard Shevardnadze resigns in the face of protests caused by the bloodless Rose Rev. On Nov. 23 five U.S. soldiers are killed in a heli crash in Afghanistan. On Nov. 25 the U.S. Senate passes historic Medicare legislation combining new prescription drug benefits for seniors with measures to control costs before the baby boomers bankrupt it; it passes the House 220-215 on Nov. 22 after a dusk-to-dawn debate. On Nov. 26 Maj. Gen. Abed Hamed Mowhoush, former Iraqi air force cmdr. is killed by suffocation by U.S. troops during interrogation, his head covered with a sleeping bag with an electrical cord wrapped around his neck to create a "stress position"; after a coverup attempt, four U.S. servicemen are arrested, and chief warrant officer Lewis E. Weishofer Jr. (1964-) is convicted of negligent homicide in a 2006 court-martial. On Nov. 27 Pres. Bush sneaks into Iraq to spend Thanksgiving with U.S. troops and thank them for "defending the American people from danger". On Nov. 29 gunmen in Iraq ambush and kill two Japanese diplomats. On Nov. 29 seven members of Spain's military intelligence agency are killed in Mahmudiyah, Iraq. On Oct. 30-Nov. 29 the human race was supposed to be wiped out by nuclear war, according to Aum Shinrikyo - walk like an Egyptian? On Nov. 30 Iraqi insurgents stage coordinated attacks throughout the city of Samarra, Iraq, catching U.S. soldiers between Iraq and a hard place. On Nov. 30 two South Korean contractors are killed in a roadside ambush in Iraq. In Nov. 2 rigged parliamentary elections in the Repub. of Georgia spark the Rose Revolution, with Mikheil Nikolozis Saakashvili (1967-) claiming a V and carrying roses as he storms into parliament in Tbilisi, displacing Pres. Eduard Schevardnadze in a bloodless coup; he is sworn-in next Jan. 25 (until ?). On Dec. 1 after two years of secret negotiations, the Geneva Accord (Initiative) is announced in Geneva, claiming to be a model permanent status agreement to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, with a 2-state solution giving almost all of the West Bank and Gaza Strip to the Palestinians, and returning Israel's borders to the start of the 1967 Six-Day War, with East Jerusalem becoming the capital of the Palestinian state and West Jerusalem of Israel, and Palestinians agreeing to limit their "right of return" and make no more demands. On Dec. 2 the all-wise U.S. Supreme Court unamimously rules in ? v. that when police knock on your door they only have to wait 20 sec. before breaking in if you are a "drug suspect" - a crack house would have a bouncer waiting right at the door anyway, and decency requires he be given enough time to zip up and for her to button up? On Dec. 3 a U.N. tribunal convicts a radio news dir. and a newspaper editor for their role in promoting the 1994 Rwandan genocide, and gives them life sentences. On Dec. 4 Pres. Bush scraps import tariffs he had imposed earlier to help the U.S. steel industry. On Dec. 4 Pres. Bush signs the U.S. Fair and Accurate Credit Transactions Act (FACTA), which improves the nat. credit reporting system and reduces identity theft, providing consumers with a free copy of their credit report each year if they request ait, allowing them to put a fraud alert on it; businesses must partially conceal credit card numbers on receipts. On Dec. 5 a bomb explodes on the Stavropol Krai commuter train in Russia during rush hour, killing 41 and injuring 150+. On Dec. 6 a U.S. warplane pursuing a "known terrorist" attacks a village in E Afghanistan, mistakenly killing nine children. On Dec. 7 allies of Pres. Vladimir Putin win a sweeping V in the Russian parliamentary elections, helping him tighten his group until he is on the brink of being as powerful as people's choice Stalin. The pharmaceutic conglomerate sets up the U.S. to ride it like a hobby horse, paying them as we go down the tubes? On Dec. 8 taking advantage of the 2002 lapsing of the 1990 Pay-As-You Go Budget Enforcement Act, the U.S. Medical Prescription Drug, Improvement and Modernization Act (Medicare Part D) (Prescription Drug Benefit for Seniors) is signed by Pres. George W. Bush with no corresponding tax increase to pay for it after passing the House by 220-15 in an all-night arm-twisting session backed by the pharmaceutical industry, who are the main beneficiaries, with Rep. (D-Ohio) (1997-2007) Ted Strickland (1941-) uttering the soundbyte "This bill was written by and for the pharmaceutical companies", and Rep. (D-N.Y.) (1989-) Eliot L. Engel (1947-) on Nov. 21 uttering the soundbyte: "Shame on this Congress for betraying our seniors and ramming this bill through in the middle of the night"; in 2005 the Bush admin. admits that it will cost $1.2T over 10 years ($8T by?), with the govt. paying exorbitant drug co. prices with no competition so that seniors can get discounts; meanwhile La. Repub. Rep. (1980-2005) William Joseph "Billy" Tauzin II (1943-), chmn. of the House committee that regulates the pharmaceutical industry, who shepherds the bill through Congress, kachings, er, resigns in 2005 to take a $2.5M a year job with the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufactuers of Am. lobbying group. On Dec. 13/14 (Fri./Sat.) Saddam Hussein is captured like a rat by elite U.S. Special Ops. unit Task Force 145 in Operation Red Dawn (named after the 1984 film), hiding in a rat hole under a farmhouse in Adwar, Iraq near his hometown of Tikrit; he is armed but offers no resistance, and looks a mental and physical wreck; on Dec. 14 he is displayed on TV screens worldwide looking like a bum saying aah for a flophouse doctor? On Dec. 14 female Afghan politician Malalai Joya (1978-) gives a speech at the 502-delegate Loya Jirga constitutional convention, speaking out against the warlords and clerics (former mujahideen), calling them war criminals who shouldn't be appointed to planning groups or be part of the Afghan govt., getting her thrown out, becoming known as "the bravest woman in Afghanistan"; after being elected to the Afghan parliament in Sept. 2005 and continuing to speak out, she is suspended in May 2007 for "insulting" fellow reps (until ?). On Dec. 15 Iraqi leaders celebrate the capture of So Damn Insane, saying that they want to bring him to a quick trial and execute him by summer, but U.S. officials signal that it will be put on the backburner; meanwhile FBI agent George Piro interviews him for 7 mo., getting him to talk and admit that the WMD talk was a bluff aimed at Iran, that the U.N. weapons inspectors dismantled them, and that he never expected a major U.S. invasion, only a 4-day aerial attack like he had survived before. On Dec. 16 Pres. Bush signs the U.S. CAN-SPAM (Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing) Act, attempting to stem the flood of junk e-mail spam, along with a bill to establish a nat. museum devoted to black history; political campaigns are exempted from its regulations. On Dec. 17 former Ill. Gov. (1999-2003) George Homer Ryan (1934-) is indicted on corruption charges; he is convicted in 2006, and begins a 6 year 6 mo. federal sentence on Nov. 7, 2007 - making way for Blagojevich? On Dec. 19 the Nat. Museum of African American History and Culture (NMAAHC) is founded on the Nat. Mall in Washington, D.C.; on Feb. 22, 2012 Pres. Obama attends the groundbreaking ceremny; it opens on Sept. 24, 2016. On Dec. 20 Spain's PM Jose Maria Aznar pays a surprise visit to Spanish soldiers in Iraq. On Dec. 21 the U.S. govt. raises the nat. threat level to orange, indicating a high risk of a terrorist attack - Merry Xmas? On Dec. 22 a 6.5 earthquake hits the C Calif. coast, killing two. On Dec. 23 the U.S. govt. announces the first case of mad cow disease in the U.S.; it is later confirmed. On Dec. 24 a roadside bomb explodes N of Baghdad, killing three U.S. soldiers, becoming the deadliest attack on Americans so far in Iraq following Saddam Hussein's capture. On Dec. 26 an earthquake strikes Bam, Iran, killing 31K, causing a senior Iranian cleric in 2010 to declare that uncovered women cause earthquakes - wham bam thank you maam? On Dec. 27 coordinated rebel assaults in Karbala, Iraq kill 13, incl. six coalition soldiers. On Dec. 28 for the first time ever Libya allows U.N. nuclear inspectors access to four sites related to its nuclear weapons program after announcing that is is abandoning the program; next year centrifuges from Pakistan and highly enriched uranium are airlifted from the country. On Dec. 30 the Bush admin. bans the sale of the herbal stimulant ephedra (ma huang) (Ephedra sinica), which has been linked to 155 deaths and dozens of heart attacks and strokes. On Dec. 31 a car bomb explodes in a crowded restaurant hosting a New Year's Eve party in Baghdad, Iraq, killing eight Iraqis. In Dec. Jean Chretien steps down as Canadian PM in favor of new Liberal Party leader and former finance minister Paul Martin (1938-) (until 2006). In Dec. San Francisco Giants outfielder Barry Bonds testifies before a grand jury, admitting to using the products of the Calif.-based co. BALCO, but didn't know they contained steroids; the company's client list incl. Olympian Marion Jones, and N.Y. Yankee Jason Gilbert Giambi, whose reps are tarnished along with his. In Dec. a woman in Harbin, China runs over and kills a peasant who had scratched her Mercedes with his vegetable cart, and escapes charges, causing people to think she had govt. ties because she had an expensive license plate filled with lucky number 8s; the stink causes the officials to put license plates up for auction with the proceeds going to accident victims. In Dec. the U.S. Improved Nutrition and Physical Activity Act is sponsored by Sen. Repub. leader Bill Frist, a physician. In Dec. Am. pop star Michael Jackson converts to the Nation of Islam, pissing-off his Jewish ex-wife Debbie Rowe, who next Mar. demands he distance himself from them and threatens to take him to court over custody of their two children. Ailing Azerbaijan pres. (since June 1993) Heydar Aliyev (b. 1923) chooses his secular Muslim son Ilham Heydar Oglu Aliyev (1961-) as PM, but after opposition he is elected pres., and on Oct. 31 is sworn-in as pres. #4 (until ?) (really dictator); Artur Rasizade (1935-) becomes PM; Heydar Aliyev dies on Dec. 12. CONPLAN 8022 is formulated by the U.S. govt. as "a concept plan for the quick use of nuclear, conventional, or information warfare capabilities" to destroy preemptively, if necessary "time-urgent targets" "anywhere in the world", giving the decision to use nukes to military cmdrs. without need for special pres. authorization. Iran allegedly halts work on its nuclear weapons program; they really didn't? Benjamin Netanyahu openly frets about the "demographic bomb" of higher Arab than Jewish fertility rates, saying that if the percentage of Arab citizens of Israel rises much above its current level of 20%, Israel will lose its Jewish identity. An effort by the U.S. to rebuild Iraq with 20 planes full of $12B in cash from seized Iraqi assets known as the Development Fund for Iraq is stymied when $6.6B is reported missing; in 2011 it turns out it was safe in the Central Bank of Iraq. Saudi Arabia under conservative Wahhibi interior minister (since 1975) Prince Nayef bin Abdul-Aziz Al-Saud begins a crackdown on al-Qaida, incl. mass arrests, a jihadi rehabilitation program, and a border fence with Yemen, driving al-Qaida into Yemen. Gerald Michael Boyd (1950-2006), the first black managing ed. of the New York Times, along with exec. ed. Howell Hiram Raines (1943-) are forced to resign over the Jayson Blair (1976-) plagiarism scandal. Americans Coming Together (ACT) is founded by Steven "Steve" Rosenthal (1953-) and backed by billionaire George Soros and the Service Employees Internat. Union to get out the vote for progressive candidates in the 2004 election. "Sage of Omaha" Warren Buffet warns that derivatives are "financial weapons of mass destruction" that could lead to a "corporate meltdown"; nobody listens? Am. Muslim Abdullah al-Kidd is detained for 16 days without charges because the govt. thinks he has info. in a computer terrorism case against fellow U. of Idaho student Sami Omar al-Hussayen, who is acquitted, causing al-Kidd to sue U.S. atty.-gen. John Ashcroft for violating his constitutional rights, after which on Sept. 4 a 3-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rules that the case may proceed, calling the concept of detention of witnesses without charge "repugnant to the Constitution", and calling the policy "a painful reminder of some of the most ignominious chapters of our national history". Ontario and British Columbia Canada legalize same-sex marriage. The U.S. begins building military bases in the Persian Gulf, incl. Kuwait, Qatar, Oman, UAE, and Bahrain, which becomes home to the U.S. Fifth Fleet. Moroccan king Mohammed VI gives a speech on Islam in Morroco, with the soundbyte: "Fourteen centuries ago, indeed, the Moroccans decided to adopt Islam because it is the religion of the just middle. It is based on tolerance, honors the dignity of man, preaches coexistence, and rejects aggression, extremism and the quest for power by means of religion... Is there any need therefore for the Moroccan people, strong in the unity of their religious rite and the authenticity of their civilisation, to import cultural rites that are foreign to their traditions? We will not tolerate it, all the more so because these doctrines are incompatible with the specific Moroccan identity. Those we see promoting a rite that is foreign to our people we will oppose with the vigor that is required of those whose duty it is to stand guard over the preservation of unity of worship among Moroccans, thus reaffirming our intention of defending our choice of the Malikite rite, while respecting those of others, each people having their own particularities and their own choices." 17-y.-o. black Ga. high school football star Genarlow Wilson (1985-) (my genitals are low?) has consensual, er, consentual, er, consensual beejay sex with a 15-y.-o. black girl which is captured on video (there were actually six black males and two black females partying), causing the Ga. authorities to move on him, twisting a 1995 child molestation law to railroad him to a 10-year sentence, causing outrage at the specter of Jim Crow returning to Jawjaw; on June 11, 2007 a judge orders him released from priz after two years, calling it a "grave miscarriage of justice", causing the white Ga. atty.-gen. to announce an immediate appeal to keep him behind bars, stirring more outrage. Am. boxer Mike Tyson somehow manages to squander his $300M fortune, and declares bankruptcy - one dollar for every lap dancer? U.S. Rep. (R-Colo.) (1999-2009) Tom Tancredo (1945-), 1999 founder of the Congressional Immigration Reform Caucus introduces the U.S. Mass Immigration Reduction Act, with the goal of stopping Mexican, er, immigration to the U.S. for five years, with only spouses and children of U.S. citizens being allowed; the act extends itself indefinitely as long as they are 10K or more illegals sneaking in a year; when the Congress doesn't buy it, he tries again in 2007 with a proposed U.S. constitutional amendment to make English the official U.S. language, and another one in 2005 to call on the U.S. pres. to abandon the One-China Policy and recognize Taiwan. U.S. Rep. (R-S.D.) William "Bill" Janklow (1939-) strikes and kills a motorcyclist in his car; he is convicted of vehicular homicide and sentenced to 100 days in jail, becoming known as "Wild Bill". U.S. homeland security tsar Tom Ridge announces that al-Qaida sleeper agents in the U.S. are awaiting orders buried in secret codes broacast by the al-Jazeera TV network; too bad, the source Dennis Montgomery (1953-), owner of a Nev. software gaming co. later proves to be lying to them to juke them for money. The U.S. Air Force Academy Board of Visitors, chaired by Va. Repub. Gov. (1998-2003) James Stuart "Jim" Gilmore III (1949-) (required to have at least two USAF Academy grads) investigates alleged mismanagement of the many sexual assault complaints by female cadets, which usually resulted in no action or slaps on the, er, wrist for the male cadets, and humiliation, trumped-up discipline, or expulsion for the female cadet victims. South Central Los Angeles (Calif.) is renamed South Los Angeles. The 100 sq. mi. South Pacific island of Niue becomes the world's first WiFi nation, providing free wireless Internet access to the entire pop.; in 1997 they received the Internet top-level domain .nu, which became popular for obvious reasons. Ladies in White (Damas de Blanco) is founded by Berta Soler et al. to support the wives and relatives of jailed dissidents in Cuba. Tharwa (Arab. "wealth") Foundation is founded in Washington, D.C. by Syrian-born dissident Ammar Abdulhamid (1966-). Jihad Watch is founded in Oct. by Am. Roman Catholic Islam expert Robert Bruce Spencer (1962-) to monitor and warn of the incursions of Islam on the West. The Streisand Effect is coined after Barbra Streisand tries to get photos of her home suppressed,causing more than ever to spread. Rosie O'Donnell loses $10M in her failed Broadway play (closes in 3 mo.) Taboo, about has-been gay pop star Boy George (who stars, but doesn't play himself). Allergen-free cats becoming available on the pet market. The sales of camera phones outstrip stand-alone digital cameras for the first time this year; by next year 186M camera phones are sold, vs. 69M digital cameras. Former infamous Fla. secy. of state Katherine Harris wins a U.S. House seat in Fla. French pres. Jacques Chirac, who used to smoke three packs a day declares a war on tobacco, imposing steep tax increases on cigarettes. The Am. Film Inst. votes Hannibal "the Cannibal" Lecter the top movie villain of all time. N.Y. state lifts a ban on cultivation of black currants, which had been banned since? since they can carry a fungus that is lethal to pine trees. A sex tape showing hotel heiress Paris Hilton (1981-) galavanting with boyfriend Rock Salomon in night-vision green, along with her E! channel reality TV series The Simple Life (2003-7) propels her to anorexic stardom, along with her anorexic friend Nicole Richie (1981-); too bad, by 2007 both are getting in trouble with the law for DUI. U.S. 666 from Gallup, N.M. to Monticello, Utah through Colo. and Ariz. is changed to U.S. 491 because so many road signs were being ripped off. In the U.S. 24 people die this year from inhaling microwave popcorn fumes. Polish architect Daniel Libeskind (1946-), known for wearing cowboy boots and thick black glasses with slit sides wins the competition to design the WTC memorial site, but ends up dropping out by the time it's being built. History Detectives debuts on PBS-TV (until 2014), starring C. Wesley "Wes" Cowan (1951-), Elyse Luray, Eduardo Obregon Pagan (Obregón Pagán) (1960-), Gwendolyn "Gwen" Wright, and Tukufu Zuberi (1959-). Hans Neuenfels' production of Mozart's 1781 opera Idomeneo features King Idomeneo presenting the severed heads of Poseidon, Prophet Muhammad, Jesus and Buddha, which backfires after the Muhammad cartoon brouhaha, causing Berlin's Deutsche Opera to cancel it in Sept. 2006. The term "SITCOM" is coined for a family with a single income, two children, and an oppressive mortgage, along with "metrosexual" for a fauxmosexual or faux homosexual, a heterosexual who is fashion conscious. RMS Queen Mary 2 (QM2), the first major ocean liner built since the QE2 (1969) is launched, becoming the longest, widest and tallest passenger ship ever built (until ?), as well as the highest gross tonnage (until 2006); QE2 is purchased in 2008 by Dubai. Mark Rosen (Rosenzweig), 3rd generation CEO of 100-y.-o. European-founded home appliance co. Euro-Pro Operating LLC moves the HQ from Montreal, Canada to Newton, Mass., revamping the product line with the cyclonic Shark Rocket, Shark Rotator, Shark Navigator, Shark Steam & Spray Mop, and Shark Vac-Then-Steam, causing vacuum cleaner sales to zoom from 1% of the market in 2008 to 20% ($1.6B) in 2014 after hiring advertising consultant co. Gap Internat. in 2012 and pushing the products on TV shopping channels with a $130M/year budget, passing Dyson and becoming #1 in the U.S. market. Barbecue University debuts on PBS-TV (until 2006), hosted by Nagoya, Japan-born Am. chef Steven Raichlen (1953-). The first 4-5-day Belgrade Beer Fest is held in Serbia near the Kalemegdan Fortress, attracting 75K foreign visitors in 2004, 650K in 2009, and 900K in 2010. Sports: On Jan. 10 the NBA expands to 30 teams as the Charlotte Bobcats team is founded, changing to the Charlotte Hornets in 2013 after the New Orleans Hornets change their name to New Orleans Pelicans. On Jan. 19 a 92-yard interception return for a TD by Ronde Barber in the closing minutes clinches a 27-10 NFC championship V by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers over the Philadelphia Eagles in the final game played at Veterans Stadium in Philly. In Jan. the Sunshine Millions, a series of eight Thoroughbred horseraces is first held at Santa Anita Park in Arcadia, Calif. and Gulfstream Park in Hallandale Beach, Fla. On Feb. 16 the 2003 (45th) Daytona 500 is won by Michael Waltrip (2nd win in 3 years) in 109 laps after rain shuts it down; cars carry decals honoring the Space Shuttle Columbia astronauts; Ryan Newman's Dodge tumbles end-over-end in the tri-oval, causing an investigation. On May 3 underdog Funny Cide becomes the first gelding to win the Kentucky Derby since 1929. On May 25 the 2003 (87th) Indianapolis 500 is won by Gil de Ferran (1967-) of France after passing his Penske teammate Helo Castroneves with 31 laps to go. On May 27-June 9 the 2003 Stanley Cup Finals see the New Jersey Devils defeat the Anaheim Mighty Ducks (first appearance in the Finals) 4-3, ending the Devils-Avalanche-Red Wings string of titles since 1995; MVP is 6'1" Ducks goaltender Jean-Sebastien Giguere (Jean-Sébastien Gigučre) (1977-). On June 4-15 after the #8 seed Philadelphia 76ers (coach Doug Collins) knock off the #1 seed Chicago Bulls, then lose to the Boston Celtics, the 2003 NBA Finals sees the San Antonio Spurs (coach Gregg Popovich) defeat the New Jersey Nets (coach Byron Scott) by 4-2; Tim Duncan of the Spurs is MVP. On July 27 Lance Armstrong wins a record-tying 5th straight title in the Tour de Lance (France). On Aug. 10 SS Rafael Antoni "Fookie" Furcal (1977-) of the Atlanta Braves makes an unassisted triple play against the St. Louis Cardinals, becoming the 12th in ML history (last 2000). On Sept. 13 "Sugar" Shane Mosley (1971-) wins a "close but unanimous" decision over "Golden Boy of Calif." Oscar De La Hoya (1973-) in Las Vegas to take the WBC and WBA 154-lb. boxing titles. On Sept. 21 ABC-TV's Monday Night Football features the Denver Broncos hosting their nemesis the Oakland Raiders in front of a crowd of 76,753, the largest ever home game attendance (least no-shows); the Broncos defeat the Raiders by 31-10. On Oct. 14 after going ahead 3-0 with a 3-2 lead in the NL championship series, the Chicago Cubs are defeated by the Florda Marlins after fan Steve Bartman becomes a villain for tipping a foul ball hit by 2B player Luis Castillo as Cubs left fielder Moises Alou tries to catch it, after which the Marlins score eight runs in the inning and win the game 8-3. In Oct. Seth Franco becomes the first white member of the Harlem Globetrotters (founded 1942); he stays only one year. Michael Jordan (b. 1963) leaves the game of basketball for good, with a total of 32,292 career points, six NBA championships with the Chicago Bulls, College Player of the Year for two years, and five NBA MVP awards; he is quickly chosen as one of the 50 greatest players in NBA history. The first Homeless World Cup is held in Ahnuld's hometown of Graz, Austria, with teams of homeless from 18 nations; the 2008 cup in Melbourne has 56 nations. The NFL establishes the Rooney Rule, requring teams to interview minority candidates for head coaching and senior football operation openings. Architecture: Big Sandy Federal Penitentiary near Inez in E Ky. 133 mi. from Frankfort and 320 mi. from Washington, D.C. opens to house people convicted of crimes in Washington, D.C., becoming known for prisoner stabbings. The blob-like Kunsthaus Graz (Grazer Kunsthaus) is built in Graz, Austria by Colin Fournier and Peter Cook as part of the 2003 European Capital of Culture celebrations, becoming known as "the Friendly Alien". On June 28 he $300M (2.5B yuan) 1,804-ft. Lupu Bridge over the Huangpu River in Shanghai opens, becoming the world's longest steel arch bridge (until 2009). On June 25 the $73M ship's-sail-like Jerusalem Chords Bridge, designed by Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava (1951-). In Sept. $365M Soldier Field II in Chicago, Ill. opens as the home of the NFL Chicago Bears. On Dec. 20 the 866-ft. (264.1m) 57-story Triumph Palace luxury apt. bldg. in Moscow is finished, becoming Europe's tallest bldg. (until 2007). On Dec. 26 the $220M Glendale Arena in Glendale, Ariz. across the street from the U. of Phoenix Stadium opens as the home of the NHL Arizona Coyotes and NLL Arizona Sting; in Oct. 2006 it becomes Jobing.com Stadium; in Aug. 2014 it becomes Gila River Arena. Nobel Prizes: Peace: Shirin Ebadi (1947-) (Iran) (first Muslim woman) [women's, children's, and refugee rights]; in 2009 Iranian authorities confiscate her medal for the first time in the history of the Nobel Prize; Lit.: John Maxwell Coetzee (1940-) (South Africa); Physics: Alexei Alexeyevich Abrikosov (1928-) (Russia, U.S.), Sir Anthony James Leggett (1938-) (U.K., U.S.), and Vitaly Lazarevich Ginzburg (1916-2009) (Russia) [superconductivity]; Chem.: Peter Agre (1949-) (U.S.) and Roderick MacKinnon (1956-) (U.S.) [aquaporins], and Paul Christian Lauterbur (1929-2007) (U.S.) and Sir Peter Mansfield (1933-) (U.K.) [MRI]; Economics: Robert Fry Engle III (1942-) (U.S.) and Sir Clive William John Granger (1934-2009) (U.K.) [ARCH statistical tools for stock market]. Inventions: On Mar. 11 the USAF tests the MOAB (Massive Ordnance Air Blast Bomb), the most powerful non-nuclear bomb yet designed; on Sept. 11, 2007 Russia tests its FOAB (Father of All Bombs, which is 4x more powerful and almost forms a mushroom cloud. On June 10 Spirit, the first of two NASA Mars Exploration Rovers is launched, followed by Opportunity on July 7; Spirit lands next Jan. 4, and Opportunity next Jan. 25 on the opposite side of Mars. In the fall Theranos (therapy + diagnosis) is founded by Stanford U. sophomore Elizabeth Anne Holmes (1984-) to market a revolutionary faster blood test, causing her to become the youngest self-made female billionaire in the U.S. in 2014 ($4.5B); too bad, many scientists are skeptical of the value of the blood test, which is ever-shrouded in secrecy. In 2003-5 the Austrian 440 lb. 6-hour 140mph 55hp 18K-ft. alt. Schiebel Camcopter S-100 rotorcraft surveillance UAV is developed. The Bonker, a sexual position furniture for the bedroom is introduced by Gonk Designs. SBT Co. Ltd. of Beijing, China develops the Electronic Cigarette, which atomizes nicotine with a battery-driven LED. Microsoft Word 2003 features custom XML; on Aug. 11 U.S. district judge Leonard Davis rules that they infringed on the "449 patent" of i4i of Canada, awarding them $290M. The $500 Motorola RAZR V3 cell phone is released, with a VGA camera and 2.2 in. 176x200 LCD; it sells 110M units. Am. inventor John S. Kanzius (1944-2009) invents the Kanzius Machine, which bombards cancer cells with RF energy, allegedly killing them; too bad, he dies of cancer before he can er, perfect it. Intel Corp. releases the Itanium 2 chip, which has a shocking 410M transistors. Toyota begins marketing vehicles with Intelligence Parking Assist (IPA), a system allowing them to self-park. In early Aug. Blaster and SoBig network worms are released, causing Microsoft to begin offering cash rewards to detectives who help capture the worm farmers; despite this, next year Netsky and Sasser do it again - Bill Gates should give all those billions back to his Windoze customers for selling them schlock software, plus more millions to the worm programmers for showing him up, then get a job at a food bank for the elderly? Science: On Jan. 22 Chinese paleontologists announce the discovery of Microraptor gui, a 4-winged flying bird-like dinosaur NE of Beijing. On Mar. 28 Bernard La Scola, Didier Raoult et al. of the U. of the Mediterranean in Marseille pub. an article in Science reporting the discovery of Mimivirus (microbe mimicking virus), with 1.18M bases containing 900+ genes, the size of a small bacterium, overturning the belief that a virus is a simple inert particle and throwing the classification system into a tizzy until? In Apr. Japanese scientists announce the discovery of PQQ (pyrroloquinoline quinone), the first new vitamin discovered in 55 years - does it explain my impotence? On May 15 Michael Nitsche, Walter Paulus et al. of the U. of Gottingen pub. an article reporting that weak DC current applied to the motor regions of the human brain stimulates faster learning. On Sept. 27 the $140M SMART-1 (Small Mission for Advanced Research and Technology) On Dec. 3 Pres. Bush signs the U.S. 21st Century Nanotechnology Research and Development Act, authorizing nearly $4B for programs and activities supported by the Nat. Nanotechnology Initiative. 2.5km-diam. Eris, a Solar System dwarf planet 27% more massive than Pluto is discovered by Michael E. "Mike" Brown (1965-) of Palomar Observatory, causing Pluto's status as a planet to be reconsidered, and leading to its demotion to dwarf planet. Adilson E. Motter of Northwestern U. conjectures that the expansion of the Universe right after the Big Bang was chaotic; he proves it mathematically in 2010. The first Definitive List of Scientific Predictions is produced by an internat. conference. The newly discovered armored dinosaur Crichtonsaurus bohlini is named in honor of "Jurassic Park" author Michael Crichton. UCLA astronomer Andrea Ghez discovers a supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, leading to the conclusion that most galaxies also have them, and that they both destroy and create stars, determining their structure and evolution. The sequencing of the human genome is finished. Swedish psychiatrist Lars Christopher Gillberg (1950-) et al. identify the genetic mutations in individuals with autism, two genes on the X chromosome. The Barcode of Life Initiative is launched to try telling species apart by using a very short gene sequence from a standardized position in the genome. The first human clone is planned by Prof. Panos Zavos of the U.S. and Dr. Severino Antinori of Italy. David C. Page et al. of Cambridge U. discover that Y chromosomes contain palindromes; in 2009 the palindrome system is discovered to have a simple weakness that explains sex anomalies incl. feminization and sex reversal - Madam, I'm Adam William Ruddiman proposes that humanity's influence on climate began thousands of years ago, not during the Industrial Rev. The first intersex fish, male fish with female sexual traits (immature eggs in their testes) are discovered in the Potomac River, caused by pollutants - followed by intersex humans in ? The $173.5M NASA PICASSO-CENA (Climatologie Entendu des Nuages et des Aerosols) (Instruments for Cloud and Aerosol Observations) is launched to examine the role of clouds and aerosols in the Earth's radiation budget using Lidar (laser radar). Art: Enrique Chagoya, The Misadventures of Mohammad. Maggie Michael, Travel (2003-5); 46"x64". Elizabeth Murray (1940-2007), Bop. Philip Pearlstein (1924-), Model with Blue Flowered Kimono. Music: 311, Evolver (album #7) (July 22) (#7 in the U.S.); incl. Beyond the Gray Sky, Creatures (For a While). John Coolidge Adams (1947-), On the Transmigration of Souls (Avery Fisher Hall, New York) (Sept. 19) (Pulitzer Prize); tribute to 9/11. Jane's Addiction, Strays (album #3) (July 22) (#4 in the U.S.); first album since 1991; first with bassist Chris Chaney; incl. Just Because, True Nature. a-ha, How Can I Sleep with Your Voice in My Head (album) (Mar. 25). Allman Brothers Band, Hittin' the Note (album #13) (Mar. 18); incl. Heart of Stone; Live at the Beacon Theatre (album) (Sept. 23). Anthrax, We've Come for You All (album #9) (May 6) (#122 in the U.S.); incl. What Doesn't Die, Safe Home, Takin' the Music Back. Apocalyptica, Reflections (album #4) (Feb. 10); incl. Faraway. Ashanti (1980-), Chapter II (album #2) (July 1) (#1 in the U.S., #5 in the U.K.); incl. Rock Wit U (Awww Baby), Rain on Me, Breakup 2 Makeup (w/Black Child); Ashanti's Christmas (album) (Nov. 18) (#16 in the U.S.). Gilad Atzmon (1963-), Exile (album). Erykah Badu (1971-), Worldwide Underground (album). Joan Baez (1941-), Dark Chords on a Big Guitar (album). Marcia Ball (1949-), So Many Rivers (album). Buju Banton (1973-), Friends for Life (album #7) (Mar. 11). Pat Benatar (1953-), Go (album); incl. Have It All. Belle and Sebastian, Dear Catastrophe Waitress (album #6) (Oct. 6); incl. Step into My Office, Baby. Dierks Bentley (1975-), Dierks Bentley (album) (debut) (Aug. 19); incl. What Was I Thinkin', My Last Name, How Am I Doin'. Beyonce (1981-), Dangerously in Love (#1 in the U.S. and the U.K.) (11M copies); incl. Crazy in Love (w/Jay-Z) (1st by a female artist to go #1 in the U.S. and U.K. simultaneously), Baby Boy (w/Sean Paul), Me, Myself and I, Naughty Girl. Limp Bizkit, Results May Vary (album #4) (Sept. 23); incl. Eat You Alive. Mary J. Blige (1971-), Love & Life (album #6) (Aug. 26) (#1 in the U.S.) (2M copies); incl. Love @ 1st Sight (w/Method Man), Ooh!, Not Today (w/Eve), It's a Wrap. Third Eye Blind, Out of the Vein (album #3) (May 13) (500K copies), first with guitarist Tony Fredianelli; incl. Blinded (When I See You). Blink-182, Blink-182 (album #5) (Nov. 18) (#3 in the U.S., #22 in U.K.); incl. Feeling This, I Miss You. Moody Blues, December (album) (Oct. 28); guest flautist Norda Mullen. Butterfly Boucher (1979-), Flutterby (album) (debut) (Oct. 7); incl. I Can't Make Me, Another White Dash. David Bowie (1947-), Reality (album) (July 15); he gets obsessed with getting old; incl. Never Get Old, The Loneliest Guy, Bring Me the Disco King (with Maynard James Keenan); sho' 'nuff, he suffers a heart attack on June 25, 2004 in Scheessel, Germany, slowing him down. Beastie Boys, In a World Gone Mad; protest against the 2003 U.S. Iraq War. Pet Shop Boys, Disco 3 (album) (Feb. 3); incl. If Looks Could Kill; Pop Art: The Hits (album) (Nov. 24); incl. Flamboyant, Miracles. Michelle Branch (1983-), Hotel Paper (album #2) (June 24) (#2 in the U.S.); sells 1M copies; incl. Are You Happy Now? (#16 in the U.S.), Breathe (#36 in the U.S.). Cam'ron (1974-), Diplomatic Immunity (album). The Cardigans, Long Gone Before Daylight (album #5) (Mar. 19) (#47 in the U.K.). Mariah Carey (1970-), The Remixes (album) (Oct. 14). June Carter Cash (1929-2003), Wildwood Flower (album) (posth.). 50 Cent (1975-), Get Rich or Die Tryin' (album) (debut) (#1 in the U.S., #2 in the U.K.) (15M copies, incl. 8M in the U.S.); incl. In Da Club, 21 Questions (w/Nate Dogg), Wanksta, P.I.M.P. (w/Snoop Dogg). Kenny Chesney (1968-), All I Want for Christmas is a Real Good Tan (album). Kelly Clarkson (1982-), Thankful (album) (debut) (Apr. 15) (#1 in the U.S.); sells 3M copies; incl. A Moment Like This. Biffy Clyro, The Vertigo of Bliss (album #2) (June 16); incl. Toys, Toys, Toys, Choke, Toys, Toys, Toys, The Ideal Height, Questions and Answers, Eradicate the Doubt. Alice Cooper (1948-), The Eyes of Alice Cooper (album #23). Elvis Costello (1954-), North (album) (Sept. 23). Cracker, Countrysides (album #7) (Oct. 7); incl. Ain't Gonna Suck Itself. The Cramps, Fiends of Dope Island (album). Counting Crows, Films About Ghosts (album) (Nov.). Death Cab for Cutie, Transatlanticism (album #4) (Oct. 7) (#97 in the U.S.); first with drummer Jason McGerr; incl. The New Year, Title and Registration, The Sound of Setting. The Grateful Dead, Dick's Picks Vol. 27 (album) (Jan. 17); recorded on Dec. 16, 1992 in Oakland, Calif.; View from the Vault, Vol. 4 (album) (Apr. 8); Dick's Picks Vol. 28 (album) (Apr. 20); recorded on Feb. 26-28, 1973; Dick's Picks Vol. 29 (album) (June); recorded on May 19-21, 1977; Dick's Picks Vol. 30 (album) (Oct. 30). Deftones, Deftones (album #4) (May 20) (#2 in the U.S) (500K copies); incl. Minerva, Hexagram. Celine Dion (1968-), One Heart (album #8) (Mar. 24); incl. One Heart, Have You Ever Been in Love. Doobie Brothers, Divided Highway (album) (Feb. 25). 3 Doors Down, Another 700 Miles (album) (Nov. 11). Hilary Duff (1987-), Metamorphosis (Aug. 26) (#1 in the U.S., #69 in the U.K.) (5M copies worldwide); incl. So Yesterday, Come Clean, Little Voice. As I Lay Dying, Frail Words Collapse (album #2) (July 1) (250K copies); incl. 94 Hours, Forever. Finger Eleven, Finger Eleven (album #4) (June 17); incl. One Thing (#16 in the U.S.). Epica, The Phantom Agony (album) (debut) (June 5); from Netherlands, incl. Mark Jansen (1978), and Simone Johanna Maria Simons (1985-); incl. Cry for the Moon (about child abuse by priests). Gloria Estefan (1957-), Unwrapped (album #10) (Sept. 22); incl. Wrapped. Eve 6, It's All in Your Head (album #3) (July 22); dropped by RCA Records after poor sales. Elysian Fields, Dreams That Breathe Your Name (album #3). Fall Out Boy, Fall Out Boy's Evening Out With Your Girlfriend (Mar. 25) (album) (debut); from Wilmette, Ill.; incl. Patrick Stump (vocals, guitar), Joe Trohman (guitar), Pete Wentz (bass), and Andy Hurley (drums); Take This to Your Grave (album #2) (May 6) (500K copies); incl. Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy. Dan Fogelberg (1951-2007), Full Circle (album). Arcade Fire, Arcade Fire (AKA Us Kids Now) (album) (debut); from Montreal, Canada, incl. Win Butler (1980-), Regine Chassagne (1977-), and William Pierce Butler (1982-). Fuel, Natural Selection (album #3) (Sept. 23); incl. Won't Back Down (from the film "Daredevil"), Falls on Me, Million Miles, Miss Independent. Nelly Furtado (1978-), Folklore (album #2) (Nov. 25) (#38 in the U.S., #11 in the U.K.); incl. Powerless (Say What You Want), Try, Forca, Explode, The Grass Is Green. AQi Fzono (1969-), Chronicle (album #6). Debbie Gibson (1970-), Colored Lights: The Broadway Album (album). Lamb of God, As the Palaces Burn (album #3) (May 6) (250K copies); incl. As the Palaces Burn, Ruin, 11th Hour, A Devil in God's Country. Godsmack, Faceless (album #3) (Apr. 8) (#1 in the U.S., #156 in the U.K.) (1.5M copies in the U.S.); first with drummer Shannon Larkin from Ugly Kid Joe; incl. Straight Out of Line, I Stand Alone, Serenity, Re-Align. Macy Gray (1967-), The Trouble with Being Myself (album) (Apr. 28); incl. When I See You, She Ain't Right for You. 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, Other Ways of Speaking (album #3) (Apr. 8) (last album); incl. Never Be Alone Again (w/Chrissie Hynde), Painted Veil, Full Length of the River, Afraid, Folsom Prison Blues; Russell Crowe then "evolves" the band into The Ordinary Fear of God. Guano Apes, Walking on a Thin Line (album #3) (Feb. 3) (100K copies); incl. You Can't Stop Me, Pretty in Scarlet, Quietly. Nina Hagen (1955-), Big Band Explosion (album #13) (Dec. 9); incl. Let Me Entertain You (by Jules Styne and Stephen Sondheim). Merle Haggard (1937-), Haggard Like Never Before (album); incl. That's the News; questions Bush's declaration that the Iraq War is over. Emmylou Harris (1947-), Stumble Into Grace (album). Hans Werner Henze (1926-), L'Upupa under der Triumph der Sohnesliebe (The Hoopoe and the Triumph of Filian Love) (opera); based on a Syrian fairy tale. Her Space Holiday, The Young Machines (album). Hoobastank, The Reason (album #2) (Dec. 9) (2.5M copies); incl. The Reason, Same Direction, Out of Control. Crowded House, Classic Masters (album) (June 24). David Ippolito, Talk Louder (the Cell Phone Song) (album #6). Isley Brothers, Body Kiss (album). Alan Jackson (1958-) and Jimmy Buffett (1946-), It's Five O'Clock Somewhere (June) (#1 country) (#1 in the U.S.). Jamelia (1981-), Thank You (album #2) (Sept. 20); incl. Bout, Superstar, Thank You, See It In a Boy's Eyes, DJ. Jamiroquai, Late Night Tales: Jamiroquai (album) (Nov. 10). Jay-Z (1969-), The Black Album (album #8) (Nov. 14); claims it's his last studio album; incl. Change Clothes, Dirt Off Your Shoulder, 99 Problems. Jack Hody Johnson (1975-), On and On (album #2) (May 6) (#3 in the U.S.); incl. The Horizon Has Been Defeated, Taylor, Rodeo Clowns. Bon Jovi, This Left Feels Right (album) (Nov.). R. Kelly (1967-), Chocolate Factory (album #5) (Feb. 18) (#1 in the U.S.) (3M copies); incl. Step in the Name of Love, Snake, Ignition (Remix). Alicia Keys (1981-), The Diary of Alicia Keys (album #2) (Dec. 2) (#1 in the U.S., #13 in the U.K.) (8M copies); incl. You Don't Know My Name, If I Ain't Got You, Diary. The Black Keys, Thickfreakness (album #2) (Apr. 8); incl. Thickfreakness, Set You Free (used in the 2003 film "School of Rock"), Hard Row, Have Love, Will Travel (by Richard Berry). Korn, Take a Look in the Mirror (album #6) (Nov. 21) (#9 in the U.S.); last with Brian "Head" Welch; incl. Did My Time (#12 in the U.S.), Right Now (#11 in the U.S.), Y'All Want a Single (#23 in the U.S.), Everything I've Known (#30 in the U.S.). Kraftwerk, Tour de France Soundtracks (album #10) (Aug. 4); first original album since 1986; incl. Tour de France. Barenaked Ladies, Everything to Everyone (album #6) (Oct. 21) (#10 in the U.S., #6 in Canada); incl. Another Postcard (#82 in the U.S.), Testing 1, 2, 3, For You, Celebrity, Maybe Katie. Strapping Young Lad, Strapping Young Lad (album #3) (Feb. 11) (#97 in the U.S.); incl. Relentless, Rape Song. Laibach, WAT (We Are Time) (album #12) (Sept. 8). Cyndi Lauper (1953-), At Last (album #8) (Nov. 18); incl. At Last, Makin' Whoopee (with Tony Bennett). Annie Lennox (1954-), Bare (album #3) (June 5) (#4 in the U.S., #3 in the U.K.); incl. A Thousand Beautiful Things, Pavement Cracks, Wonderful. Georges Lentz, Ingwe (2003-9); a 60-min. work for solo electric guitar. Black Lips, Black Lips! (Mar. 18); from Atlanta, Ga., incl. Cole Alexander (vocals), Jared Swilley (bass), Ben Eberbaugh (-2002) (guitar), Jack Hines (guitar), and Joe Bradley (drums). Meat Loaf (1947-), Couldn't Have Said It Better (album). Loon (1975-), Loon (album) (debut) (Oct. 21) (#6 in the U.S.); incl. How You Want That, Relax Your Mind. Lorna (1983-), Papi Chulo... (Te Traigo el Mmmm) (debut). Ludacris (1977-), Chicken-N-Beer (album #3) (Oct. 7) (#1 in the U.S.) (2.7M copies); incl. Stand Up, Splash Waterfalls, Diamond in the Back, P-Poppin (Pussy Poppin'). Fleetwood Mac, Say You Will (album #16) (Apr. 15); first without Christine McVie; incl. Say You Will, Murrow Turning Over in His Grave. Madonna (1958-), American Life (album #9) (Apr. 22) (#1 in the U.S. and U.K.); her lowest-selling album; a collaboration with Mirwais Ahmadzai (1960-), rejecting the values in "Material Girl"; last album produced by Maverick; incl. American Life; "I tried to be a boy, I tried to be a girl, I tried to be a mess, I tried to be the best"; Remixed & Revisited (album) (Nov. 24) (#115 in the U.S.). Mae (Multi-Sensory Aesthetic Experience), Destination: Beautiful (album) (debut) (Feb. 25); from Norfolk, Va., incl. Dave Elkins, Zach Gehring, and Jacob Marshall (drums) (who names the group based on his course at Old Dominion U.); incl. Embers and Envelopes, All Deliberate Speed, This Time Is the Last Time. Vusi Mahlasela (1965-), The Voice (album); incl. Weeping. Iron Maiden, Dance of Death (album #13) (Sept. 2); incl. Wildest Dreams, Rainmaker. Marilyn Manson, The Golden Age of Grotesque (album #5) (Apr. 13); sells 4M copies; incl. mOBSCENE, This is the New Shit, (s)AINT. Bob Marley (1945-81) and the Wailers, Live at the Roxy (double album) (June 24); recorded on May 26, 1976 in West Hollywood, Calif. John Mayer (1977-), Heavier Things (album #2) (Sept. 9) (#1 in the U.S.) (3M copies); incl. Bigger Than My Body, Clarity, Daughters. Martina McBride (1966-), Martina (album #6); incl. This One's for the Girls; "This is for all you girls about 13/ high school can be so rough, can be so mean/ hold onto, onto your innocence", In My Daughter's Eyes. Paul McCartney (1942-), Back in the World: Live (album) (Mar. 17) (#5 in the U.K.). Reba McEntire (1955-), 20th Century Masters: The Christmas Collection: The Best of Reba (album) (Sept. 23); Room to Breathe (album #27) (Nov. 18); incl. Somebody (#1). John Mellencamp (1951-), Trouble No More (June 3) (album); incl. Teardrops Will Fall. Katie Melua (1984-), Call Off the Search (album) (debut) (Nov. 3); sells 1.8M copies; incl. Call Off the Search, The Closest Thing to Crazy, Crawling Up a Hill. Natalie Merchant (1963-), The House Carpenter's Daughter (album #4) (Sept. 16). Metallica, St. Anger (album) (June 5); incl. St. Anger. Metric, Old World Underground, Where Are You Now? (album) (debut); from Toronto, Canada, incl. Emily Haines (vocals), James Shaw (guitar, vocals), Joshua Winstead (bass, vocals), and Joules Scott-Key (drums); incl. Combat Baby. Steve Miller Band, Young Hearts (album). Kylie Minogue (1968-), Body Language (album #9) (Nov. 20) ($2 in the U.K., #6 in the U.K.); incl. Slow, Red Blooded Woman, Chocolate. Bret Michaels (1963-), Songs of Life (album #2) (Apr. 22); incl. Raine (about his daughter Raine Elizabeth Sychak, b. May 20, 2000), Bittersweet, One More Day (9/11 tribute). Moonspell, The Antidote (album #6); incl. Everything Invaded. Van Morrison (1945-), What's Wrong With This Picture? (album #30) (Oct. 21). Motorhead, Live at Brixton Academy (album) (Dec. 9). Smash Mouth, Get the Picture? (album #4) (Aug. 5); incl. You Are My Number One, Hang On (used in "The Cat in the Hat"). Puddle of Mudd, Life on Display (album #2) (Nov. 25 (#20 in the U.S.) (700K copies); incl. Away from Me (#1 in the U.S.), Spin You Around, Heel Over Head; Greg and Paul leave the band. Dropkick Murphys, Blackout (album #4) (June 10); incl. Buried Alive, Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced. The National, Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers (album #2) (Sept. 2). Nelly (1974-), Da Derrty Versions: The Reinvention (album); incl. Iz U (featured on Walt Disney's "The Haunted Mansion), Tip Drill, Pimp Juice. The Nice, Vivacitas: Live at Glasgow 2002 (album #5) (Sept. 16); first album since 1971. Nickelback, The Long Road (album #4) (Sept. 23) (#6 in the U.S., #5 in the U.K.) (5M copies); incl. Someday, Figured You Out, See You at the Show, Feelin' Way Too Damn Good, Because of You. Hall & Oates, Do It for Love (album #16) (Feb. 11); incl. Do It for Love. Indian Ocean, Jhini (album #3); incl. Jhini. Sinead O'Connor (1966-), She Who Dwells in the Secret Place of the Most High Shall Abide Under the Shadow of the Almighty (double album) (Sept. 9); claims she's retired now; incl. Molly Malone. Blue October, History for Sale (album #3) (Apr. 8); incl. Razorblade, Calling You. The Offspring, Splinter (album #7) (Dec. 9); sells 1.8M copies; first without Ron Welty; incl. Splinter, Hit That, (Can't Get My) Head Around You. Outkast, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (album); incl. Hey Ya!; "Shake it like a Polaroid picture". Brad Paisley (1972-), Mud on Tires (album); incl. Mud on Tires, Celebrity. Paris (Oscar Jackson Jr.) (1967-), Sonic Jihad (album #5) (Oct. 7); incl. Sheep to the Slaughter, Field Nigga Boogie, AWOL. Linkin Park, Meteora (album #2) (Mar. 25) (#1 in the U.S. and U.K.) (10M copies); incl. Somewhere I Belong (#32 in the U.S., #10 in the U.K.), Faint (#48 in the U.S., #15 in the U.K.), Numb (#11 in the U.S., #14 in the U.K.), From the Inside, Breaking the Habit (#20 in the U.S., #39 in the U.K.), Lying from You (#58 in the U.S.). Snow Patrol, Final Straw (album); incl. Run, Chocolate, Spitting Games, How to Be Dead. Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk (album #3) (June 24); sells 8M copies; will.i.am (William James Adams Jr.) (1975-), apl.de.ap (Allan Pineda Lindo) (1974-), Taboo Nawasha (Jaime Luis Gomez) (1975-), Fergie (Stacy Ann Ferguson (1975-); incl. Hey Mama, Where is the Love?, Shut Up, Let's Get It Started (Let's Get Retarded); adding vocalist Fergie (formerly of the Disney Channel's "Kids Incorporated" and 90s pop group Wild Orchid) causes the L.A. trio to shoot to the top in pop. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Greatest Hits (album) (Nov.); incl. Fortune Faded, Save the Population. Pink (1979-), Try This (album #3) (Nov. 11) (#9 in the U.S., #3 in the U.K.) (3M copies); incl. Trouble, God is a DJ, Last to Know. Placebo, Sleeping with Ghosts (album #4) (Apr. 1) (#11 in the U.K.); incl. Sleeping with Ghosts, The Bitter End, Special Needs; Covers (album) (Sept. 22); incl. Running Up That Hill (by Kate Bush) (#66 in the U.K.). Iggy Pop (1947-), Skull Ring (album) (Nov. 4); incl. Little Know It All (w/Sum 41), Rock Show (w/Peaches). The New Pornographers, Electric Version (album #2) (May 6); incl. The Electric Version, The Laws Have Changed. Manic Street Preachers, Lipstick Traces: A Secret History of Manic Street Preachers (album) (July 14). Queensryche, Tribe (album #9) (July 22). Radiohead, Hail to the Thief (album #6) (June 9); incl. There There, Go to Sleep, 2 + 2 = 5. The Raveonettes, Whip It On (album) (debut) (Aug. 6); from Denmark, incl. Sune Rose Wagner (1973) and Sharin Foo (1979); incl. Attack of the Ghostriders; Chain Gang of Love (album) (debut) (Aug. 25); incl. Chang Gang of Love, C'mon Everybody, The Love Gang. Juno Reactor, Mona Lisa Overdrive (from "The Matrix Reloaded"); Navras (from "The Matrix Revolutions"). Eddi Reader (1959-), Eddi Reader Sings the Songs of Robert Burns (album #7). Lou Reed (1942-), The Raven (album #19) (Jan. 28); tribute to Edgar Allan Poe (1809-49); incl. The Conqueror Worm, Edgar Allan Poe. Steve Reich (1936-), Cello Counterpoint. The All-American Rejects, The All-American Rejects (album) (debut) (Jan. 17) (#25 in the U.S., #50 in the U.K.); from Stillwater, Okla., incl. Tyson Ritter (vocals, bass), Nick Wheeler (guitar), Mike Kennerty (guitar), and Chris Gaylor (drums); incl. Swing, Swing. Kid Rock (1971-), Kid Rock (album). The Romantics, 61/49 (album #6) (Sept.); first album since 1985. Skid Row, Thickskin (album #4) (Aug. 5); incl. Thick Is the Skin, New Generation, Ghost. Rush, Rush in Rio (album) (Oct. 21). Pharoah Sanders (1940-), The Creator Has a Master Plan (album). Primal Scream and Kate Moss (1974-), Some Velvet Morning (Nov. 10). Seal (1963-), Seal (album #4) (Sept. 9). Jessica Simpson (1980-), In This Skin (album #3) (Aug. 19) (#2 in the U.S., #36 in the U.K.) (7M copies); incl. Sweetest Sin, With You, Take My Breath Away, Angels. Eve 6, It's All in Your Head (album); incl. Think Twice, At Least We're Dreaming, Good Lives. Lynyrd Skynyrd, Vicious Cycle (album #11) (May 20). Sister Sledge, Style (album #11). Black Label Society, The Blessed Hellride (album #4) (Apr. 22); incl. Stillborn (w/Ozzy Osbourne), Doomsday Jesus; Boozed, Broozed & Broken-Boned (album) (Aug. 12). Britney Spears (1981-), In The Zone (album); incl. Toxic. Chicks on Speed, 99 Cents (album #2) (Oct.); incl. We Don't Play Guitars, Wordy Rappinghood. Staind, 14 Shades of Grey (album #4) (May 20) (#1 in the U.S., #16 in the U.K.) (2M copies); incl. Price to Play, So Far Away, How About You. Ringo Starr (1940-), Ringo Rama (album #12) (Mar. 24). Status Quo, Riffs (album #26) (Dec. 23). Rod Stewart (1945-), As Time Goes By: The Great American Songbook 2 (album) (Oct. 14). Joss Stone (1987-), The Soul Sessions (album) (debut) (Nov. 24) (#39 in the U.S., #4 in the U.K.); incl. Fell in Love with a Boy, Super Duper Love. Stratovarius, Elements, Pt. 1 (album #9) (Jan. 27); incl. Eagleheart; Elements, Pts. 2 (album #10) (Nov. 24); incl. I Walk to My Own Song. White Stripes, Elephant (album #4) (Apr. 1) (#6 in the U.S., #1 in the U.K.) (5M copies); Rolling Stone mag.'s #5 best album of the decade; incl. Seven Nation Army (#76 in the U.S., #7 in the U.K.) ("Don't want to hear about it/ Every single one's got a story to tell/ Everyone knows about it/ From the Queen of England to the hounds of Hell"), The Hardest Button to Button (#8 in the U.S., #23 in the U.K.), There's No Home for You Here, I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself (#25 in the U.S., #13 in the U.K.). The Strokes, Room on Fire (album #2) (Oct. 28) (#4 in the U.S., #2 in the U.K.); incl. 12:51 (#15 in the U.S., #7 in the U.K.), Reptilia (#19 in the U.S., #17 in the U.K.), The End Has No End (#35 in the U.S., #27 in the U.K.). Styx, Cyclorama (album #14) (Feb. 18); first with Lawrence Gowan (1956-). Sugarbabes, Three (album #3) (Oct. 27); incl. Hole in the Head, Too Lost in You, In the Middle, Caught in a Moment. Howard Tate (1939-), Rediscovered; comeback after having royalties from his 1960s hits "Ain't Nobody Home" et al. ripped off, resulting in homelessness and drug addiction? Within Temptation, The Silent Force (album #3) (Nov. 15); first with Ruud Jolie and Martijn Spierenburg; incl. Stand My Ground, Memories, Angels, Jillian (I'd Give My Heart). ZZ Top, Mescalero (album #14) (Apr. 15). Toto, Through the Looking Glass (album #11) (Nov. 5); all covers; 25th Anniversary: Live in Amsterdam (album). Train, My Private Nation (album #3) (June 3) (#6 in the U.S.); incl. Calling All Angels, When I Look to the Sky, Get to Me; Live in Atlanta (album) (July 31). Randy Travis (1959-), Worship and Faith (album). Cheap Trick, Special One (album #14) (July 23); incl. Scent of a Woman. The Fall of Troy, The Fall of Troy (album) (debut) (Nov. 4); from Mukilteo, Wash., incl. Thomas Joseph Erak (1985-) (vocals), Andrew Forsman (1985-) (drums), and Frank "Black" Ene (bass). Jethro Tull, The Jethro Tull Christmas Album (album #22) (Sept. 30). Bonnie Tyler (1951-), Heart Strings (Heart & Soul) (album #13) (Mar. 24). Six Feet Under, Bringer of Blood (album #5) (Sept. 23); incl. Amerika the Brutal, Murdered in the Basement, When Skin Turns Blue, Bringer of Blood. The Undertones, Get What You Need (album #5) (Sept. 30); first album since 1983; new lead singer Paul McLoone (1967-). Westlife, Turnaround (album #5) (Nov. 24) (7M copies); incl. Hey Whatever (#4 in the U.K.), Mandy (by Barry Manilow) (#1 in the U.K.), Obvious #3 in the U.K.). Amy Winehouse (1983-2011), Frank (album) (debut) (Oct. 20) (900K copies in the U.K.); the English answer to Britney Spears?; incl. Stronger Than Me, Take the Box, In My Bed, Fuck Me Pumps. Steve Winwood (1948-), About Time (album #8) (June 17); last album in 1997. Wisin and Yandel, Mi Vida... My Life (album #3) (Oct. 21); De Otra Manera (album #4). Darryl Worley, Have You Forgotten; about 9/11. Yello, The Eye (album #11) (Dec. 9). Lil' Zane (1982-), The Big Zane Theory (album #2) (Aug. 19). Frank Zappa (1940-93), Halloween (album) (posth.) (Feb. 4); Halloween show at the Palladium in New York City in 1978. Warren Zevon (1947-2003), The Wind (album) (Aug. 26); released 2 wks. before the inventor of rock noir dies of lung cancer (Sept. 7), and finally wins a Grammy; incl. Knockin' on Heaven's Door. Movies: Alejandro Inarritu's 21 Grams (Dec. 26) (This is That), #2 in the Trilogy of Death series ("Amores Perros", 2000; "Babel", 2006"), named after the claim by Dr. Duncan MacDougall that the human soul weighs 21 grams stars miscast Sean Penn as math prof. with a bad heart Paul Rivers, who benefits when born-again Christian convict Jack Jordan (Benicio del Toro) kills the husband of recovering drug addict Christina Peck (Naomi Watts) and his heart is donated to him, after which he follows her around and hooks up with her until the transplant goes bad and she finds she is carrying his baby, with Jack's conscience getting in the middle; does $60M box office on a $20M budget. Spike Jonze's Adaptation (Jan. 10), based on the book by Susan Orlean stars Nicolas Cage as Charlie, and Donald Kaufman, and Meryl Streep as Susan Orlean; "One story. Four lives... A million ways it can end." Robert Pulcini's and Shari Springer Berman's American Splendor (Sept. 12), based on the 1986 biography of Jewish-Am. underground comic book writer Harvey Pekar (1939-2010) stars Paul Giamatti, with appearances by Pekar. Denzel Washington's Antwone Fisher (Jan. 10), based on Fisher's 2001 autobio. stars Denzel as Navy pshrink Dr. Jerome Davenport, who tries to figure out why black swabbie Antwone Quenton "Fish" Fisher (Derek Luke) is so violent, and discovers a messed-up upbringing sorry story. Terry Zwigoff's Bad Santa (Nov. 26) (Tryptich Pictures) (Dimension Films) stars Billy Bob Thornton as alcoholic sex-addicted dept. store Santa Claus Willie T. Soke, and Tony Cox as his midget Little Helper Marcus Skidmore, who end each season by robbing the store; Brett Kelly plays fat kid Thurman Merman; Lauren Graham plays Soke's babe Sue; Bernie Mac plays Gin Slagel; does $76.5M box office on a $23M budget; followed by "Bad Santa 2" (2016). Tim Burton's Big Fish (Dec. 10) (Columbia Pictures), based on the 1998 Daniel Wallace novel stars Ewan McGregor as Ed Bloom Jr., a son who tries to relive the baloney stories his daddy Albert Finney told him about himself; Jessica Lange plays Finney's wife Sandra K., Helena Bonham Carter plays an elderly witch with an evil eye, Steve Busceme plays Norther Winslow, a poet from Ashton, Ala. who lives forever in Spectre, Ala., Danny DeVito plays Amos Calloway, a circus ringmaster and werewolf, Matthew McGrory plays giant Karl; does $122.9M box office on a $70M budget. Tom Shadyac's Bruce Almighty (May 23) stars Jim Carrey as Bruce Nolan, who is given divine powers for one week by God (Morgan Freeman) to teach him how hard it is; Jennifer Aniston plays his bage Grace Connelly, Catherine Bell plays his other babe Susan Ortega, and Steve Carell plays his rival Evan Baxter; #5 movie of 2003 ($242M U.S. and $484.6M box office on a $81M budget). Nigel Cole's Calendar Girls (Sept. 2) (Buena Vista Pictures) is the story of some Yorkshire women incl. Helen Mirren and Julie Walters who produce a nude calendar for leukemia research; does $96M box office on a $10M budget. Shawn Levy's Cheaper by the Dozen (Dec. 25), based on the novel by Frank G. Gilbreth Jr. and Ernest Gilbreth Carey stars Steve Martin as Tom Baker, father of a family of 12; #10 movie of 2003 ($139M). Mike Figgis' Cold Creek Manor (Sept. 17) is a psychological thriller about NYC filmmaker Cooper and Leah Tilson (Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone), who are terrorized by ex-con Dale Massie (Stephen Dorff), the former owner of a decaying rural mansion they bought in foreclosure. Jon Amiel's The Core (Mar. 28) (Paramount) stars Hilary Swank as USAF Maj. Rebecca "Beck" Childs, Bruce Greenwood as USN Cmdr. Robert "Bob" Iverson, Aaron Eckhart as U. of Chicago Dr. Joshua "Josh" Keyes, Delroy Lindo as Dr. Edward "Braz" Brazzelton, and Stanley Tucci as Dr. Conrad Zimsky of Project D.E.S.T.I.N.I., which flies the Virgil into the Earth's stalled core relying on their Unobtanium hull; does $73.5M box office on a $60M budget; "Earth has a deadline." Mark Achbar's and Jennifer Abbott's The Corporation (Sept. 10) is a Canadian documentary analyzing the modern corporation like a pshrink might do. Gary Hardwick's Deliver Us from Eva (Feb. 7) based on Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew", stars LL Cool J as Ray Adams, who is paid to date troublesome Eva Dandridge (Gabrielle Union). Bernardo Bertolucci's The Dreamers (Oct. 10), based on the Gilbert Adair novel "The Holy Innocents" stars Eva Green and Louis Garrel as twins Isabelle and Theo, who are in an incestuous relationship, and take in Am. student film buff Matthew (Michael Pitt), secluding themselves and having sex until the 1968 Paris student uprising. Gus Van Sant's Elephant (Oct. 3) stars Alex Frost, Eric Deulen and other no-names in a day in the life of high school students. Jon Favreau's Elf (Nov. 27) stars Will Farrell as outsized North pole elf Buddy, who tries to find his true identity in the U.S.; #4 movie of 2003 ($173M). Disney/Pixar's Finding Nemo (May 30), dir. by Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich is about Marlin the clownfish, who loses his wife pregnant wife Coral to a barracuda, and saves one egg, which he names you know what; "If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny, I'm a clownfish"; "the ultimate fish-out-of-water story" (Time mag.); #2 movie of 2003 ($340M). Martin Brest's Gigli (Aug. 1), starring "Bennifer" (Jennifer Lopez and what's his name Ben Affleck) becomes notorious as a bomb; a criminal lesbian, a hit man with a heart of gold and a retard become best friends? David Caffrey's Grand Theft Parsons (Nov. 6) stars Gabriel Macht as country-rock musician Gram Parsons, and Johnny Knoxville as his road mgr. Phil Kaufman, who stole his corpse and cremated it in Joshua Tree Nat. Park. John Pielmeier's and G. Ross Parker's Hitler: The Rise of Evil (May 18) is a Canadian TV miniseries about Adolf Hitler's childhood and rise to power. Ron Shelton's Hollywood Homicide (June 13) (Columbia Pictures), based on the true experienced of LAPD dick Robert Souza stars Harrison Ford as Sgt. Joe Gavilan, and Josh Hartnett as Det. K.C. Calden, two LAPD dicks who moonlight at real estate and acting; also features Martin Landau, Dwight Yoakam, and Frank Sinatra Jr., with cameos by Eric Idle and Smokey Robinson; Lena Olin plays Ford's babe Ruby; does $51M box office. Stephen Daldry's The Hours (Jan. 24), based on the Michael Cunni, er, Cunningham novel stars Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf (1882-1941), Julianne Moore as Laura Brown, Meryl Streep as Clarissa Vaughan, and Miranda Richardson as Vanessa Bell. Robert Benton's The Human Stain, based on the 2000 Philip Roth novel stars Anthony Hopkins as Jewish classics prof. Coleman Silk, who has an affair with long-legged blonde Faunia Farley (Nicole Kidman), whose hubby Lester (Ed Harris) gets mean and exposes his past; meanwhile Nathan Zuckerman (Gary Sinise) acts as narrator. William Friedkin's The Hunted (Mar. 14) stars Tommy Lee Jones as deep-woods tracker L.T. Bonham, who has to hunt down the renegade Special Forces assassin Aaron Hallam (Benicio Del Toro) that he trained in gorgeous Silver Falls, Ore. Winrich Kolbe's Ice Planet stars Wes Studi as Cmdr. Noah Trager of the Earth military base on Io, which is under attack by the ET Zedoni, causing him and his space cadets to escape on the Magellan research vessel to a you know what in an unknown part of the Universe; in 2005 a pilot is released for a TV series starring Michael Ironside. F. Gary Gray's The Italian Job (May 30), a remake of the 1969 film stars Donald Sutherland, Charlize Theron, and Mark Wahlberg; "Trust everyone, just don't trust the devil inside them." Amit Saxena's Jism (Jan. 17) is a Bollywood flick starring Bipasha Basu as a millionaire's wife, and John Abraham as an alcoholic playboy atty., who have a torrid love scene cloned from the 1981 Kathleen Turner-William Hurt flick "Body Heat". Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill Volume 1 (Oct. 10) (A Band Apart) (Miramax Films), based on the 1973 Japanese film "Lady Snowblood" stars Uma Thurman as Kung Fu fighting "the Bride" "Black Mamba" Beatrix Kiddo, whose hubby "Snake Charmer" Bill (David Carradine) and his Deadly Viper Assassination Squad pop a cap in her crown at her wedding in El Paso, Tex., causing her to vow revenge and obtain a genuine Hanzo samurai sword from swordsmith Hattori Hanzo in Okinawa; also stars Vivica A. Fox as "Copperhead" Vernita Green , Darryl Hannah as 1-eyed "Calif. Mountain Snake" Elle Driver, Lucy Liu as "Cottonmouth" "Queen of the Tokyo Underworld" O-Ren Ishii, Michael Madsen as Bill's brother "Sidewinder" Budd, Sonny Chiba as Samurai swordswmith Hattori Hanzo, Chiaki Kuriyama as 17-y.-o. Kung Fu fighter Gogo Yubari, and Gordon Liu as all-white Kung Fu master Pai Mei, who knows the secret 5-Pointed Palm Exploding Heart Technique; Ellie Driver whistles a song from the 1969 British horror film "Twisted Nerve", composed by talented Bernard Herrmann to indicate she's about to kill Kiddo; grosses $70M in the U.S. and $181M worldwide on a $30M budget; features cool music by the Japanese group The 5, 6, 7, 8s (220.127.116.11's), who perform I Walk Like Jayne Mansfield, I'm Blue, and Woo Hoo (used in Vonage commercials) in the House of Blue Leaves; the sequel Kill Bill Volume 2 (Apr. 16, 2004) features Perla Haney-Jardine as Beatrix's daughter B.B. Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Dec. 13) satisfying closes the Tolkien trilogy; #1 movie of 2003 ($377M). Michael Landon Jr.'s Love Comes Softly, a TV movie based on the 75+ Christian inspirational books of Janette Oke stars Katherine Heigl as a young 21st cent. cosmetic smiling starlet, er, 19th cent. pregnant Am. frontier woman with an ever-fresh blow-dry, who finds herself widowed and ending up living with widower Dale Midkiff, who has a daughter that hates her, until you know what; the 2004 sequel Love's Enduring Promise is about the grown-up daughter finding you know what. Ridley Scott's Matchstick Men (Sept. 12), based on the Eric Garcia book stars Nicolas Cage as an obsessive compulsive con man who unexpectedly loses his innocent daughter. The Wachowski Brothers' The Matrix Reloaded (May 15) is another quantum leap for sci-fi flicks, with hero Nero taking on a mob of Agent Smiths and resurrecting his babe Trinity from the dead; #4 movie of 2003 ($281M); The Matrix Revolutions (Nov. 5) wraps up the series satisfyingly to cool music by Juno Reactor with a cool battle between the underground human city of Zion and 250K robot probes, shocking audiences by substituting new Oracle Mary Alice for deceased Gloria Foster ("I don't recognize my face in the mirror but I still love candy" - "No one can see beyond a choice they don't understand"), becoming the #9 movie of 2003 ($139M); Lambert Wilson plays the martini-loving Merovingian, and Bruce Spence plays the Trainman of Mobil Ave.; "Cookies need love like everything does" - a parable for the struggle of Western civilization against a global Muslim jihad? Ron Howard's The Missing (Nov. 26), based on the Thomas Edison novel stars Tommy Lee Jorenes as Samuel Jones in 1885 N.M., who goes Injun then returns to his daughter, medicine woman Magdalene Gilkeson (Cate Blanchett), who doesn't want him back until her daughter Lilly (Evan Rachel Wood) is kidnapped by Apaches who start taking her to Mexico to become a white blonde ho. Kevin Costner's Open Range (Aug. 15), based on the Lauran Paine novel stars Robert Duvall as Boss Spearman, Kevin Costner as Charley Waite, and Annette Bening as Sue Barlow in a film that tries hard not to look like "Lonesome Dove" and fails; does $68.3M box office on a $22M budget. Richard Kwietniowski's Owning Mahowny (Jan. 23), written by Maurice Chauvet based on the book "Stung" by Gary Stephen Ross stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as gambleholic bank mgr. Dan Mahowny, based on Toronto man Brian Molony, who rips off both the bank and the Atlantic City casino, becoming the largest bank fraud in Canadian history, $10M in 1980-2; Minnie Driver plays his girlfriend Belinda, and Chris Collins plays casino employee Chris Collins. John Woo's Paycheck, (Dec. 25), based on a short story by Philip K. Dick stars Ben Affleck as reverse engineer Michael Jennings, Uma Thurman as his babe Dr. Rachel Porter, and Aaron Eckhart as billionaire Allcom CEO James Rethrick, who hires him to reverse engineer a competitor's product, a device that can see the future, promising him the paycheck of his dreams. Roman Polanski's The Pianist (Jan. 3), based on the 1945 memoir by Wladyslaw Szpilman (1911-2000) stars Adrian Brody as Jewish pianist Szpilman, who goes through the horrible Holocaust and plays beautiful music while the *!?!* Nazis bomb his town of Warsaw - if it were Israelis bombing a Palestinian pianist it would be called manipulative? Gore Verbinski's Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (July 7) stars Johnny Depp as mascara-wearing Capt. Jack Sparrow (who channels Rolling Stones member Keith Richards), Keira Knightley as Elizabeth, and Orlando Bloom as Will in a movie based on a theme-park ride; #3 movie of 2003 ($306M); spawns sequels in 2006 (Dead Man's Chest) and 2007 (At World's End); the 2006 sequel earns a record $132M over the July 7-9 weekend; Verbinski is known for the croaking frog Budweiser beer commercials. Michael Tollin's Radio (Oct. 24) stars Cuba Gooding Jr. as black radio-collecting retardo James Robert "Radio" Kennedy of Anderson, S.C., whom Coach Jones (Ed Harris) of Hannah High School takes under his wing, uniting the town; Alfre Woodard (pretty?) plays Principal Daniels, and S. Epatha Merkerson (ugly?) plays Maggie. Gary Fleder's Runaway Jury (Oct. 17), based on the John Grisham novel with a firearms manufacturer substituted for a tobacco co. stars Gene Hackman and Dustin as Hoffman the rival attys., and John Cusack as jury member Nick Easter, who with his babe Marlee (Rachel Weisz) try to sell the jury's verdict to them, with ulterior motives. Ingmar Bergman's Saraband (Dec. 1), a Swedish TV movie stars Liv Ullmann and Erland Josephson in a sequel to "Scenes from a Marriage" (1973); Bergman's last film. Richard Linklater's School of Rock (Oct. 3) stars Jack Black as rocker Dewey Finn, who is kicked out of his band No Vacancy, then disguises himself as a substitute teacher at a prep school to form a band out of 5th grade students to win the Battle of the Bands to pay his apt. rent. David Stewart's The Search for the Loch Ness Monster , The Great Loch Ness Debate, Laurie Brian's America's Loch Ness Monster, and the July 29 discovery of a plesiosaur fossil, followed by Werner Herzog's Incident at Loch Ness (Sept. 17, 2004) beat the issue to death? Soren Kragh-Jacobsen's Skagerrak (Mar. 14) is about being hit by happiness when you least expect it. Dewey Nicks' Slackers (Feb. 1) stars Devon Sawa, Jason Segel, Michael C. Maronna et al. in a college ripoff flick about a geek blackmailing other students to win the school's most popular girl; the plot keywords are "nosebleed", "lesbian", "female nudity", "caught masturbating", and "cheating". Nancy Meyers' Something's Gotta Give,/a> (Dec. 12) stars Jack Nicholason as wealthy New York music mogul Harry Sanborn, who only dates women under 30, but falls for 50-something playwright Erica Barry (Diane Keaton), who's also hooking up with 30-something doctor Julian Mercer (Keanu Reeves); grosses $266.7M on a $60M budget. Jeffrey Blitz's Spellbound (Oct. 10), a documentary of the 1999 Scripps Nat. Spelling Bee rekindles interest in the stupid contest. Jonathan Mostow's Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (July 2) boringly continues (ends?) the Terminator series with female terminatrix T-X (Kristanna Loken); Nick Stahl plays adult John Connor; Claire Danes plays his babe Kate Brewster; #8 movie of 2003 ($150M). Antoine Fuqua's Tears of the Sun (Mar. 7) stars Bruce Willis as Navy SEAL Lt. A.K. Waters, who is sent by Capt. Bill Rhodes (Tom Skerritt) to rescue Dr. Lena Fiore Kendricks (Monica Bellucci) from the Nigerian civil war; does $85.6M box office on a $75M budget. C.B. Harding's The Three Amigos is a hilarious standup comedy show in English by Hispanic-Am. comedians Carlos Mencia, Pablo Francisco, and Freddy Soto, contributing to racial and ethnic understanding. Steve Boyum's Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision (Sept. 30) stars Jason Scott Lee as 2025 Time Enforcement Commission agent Ryan Chan. Satoshi Kon's animated Tokyo Godfathers (Nov. 8) is another of his cool animes about Christmas in Tokyo. Rob Schmidt's Wrong Turn (May 30) attempts to gross-out the audience with hideous in-bred mountain men in W. Va. who catch motorists and make them into stew. Bryan Singer's X2 (May 2) continues the X-Men saga; #6 movie of 2003 ($215M). Nonfiction: Francesco Alberoni (1929-), The Mystery of Falling in Love. Elizabeth Alexander (1962-), The Black Interior; African-Am. creativity. Isabel Allende (1942-), My Invented Country (autobio.). Aharon Appelfeld (1932-), The Story of a Life: A Memoir. Margaret Atwood (1939-), Negotiating with the Dead: A Writer on Writing (Sept. 9). Blake Bailey, A Tragic Honesty: The Life and Work of Richard Yates; undiscovered genius Richard Yates (1926-92). Bernard Bailyn (1922-), To Begin the World Anew: The Genius and Ambiguities of the American Founders. Brigitte Bardot (1934-), A Cry in the Silence; decries the Islamization of France and her prosecution by the French govt. just for speaking her mind about it; "Over the last twenty years, we have given in to a subterranean, dangerous, and uncontrolled infiltration, which not only resists adjusting to our laws and customs but which will, as the years pass, attempt to impose its own." Herbert Benson (1935-), The Breakout Principle: How to Activate the Natural Trigger That Maximizes Creativity, Athletic Performance, Productivity, and Personal Well-Being. A. Scott Berg (1949-), Kate Remembered; bio. of Katharine Hepburn (1907-2003). Paul Berman (1948-), Terror and Liberalism; the failure of liberalism after WWI led to totalitarianism via Sayyid Qutb's writings of the 1950s?; argues that Islamism is analogous to 20th cent. totalitarianism. John Michael Bishop (1936-), How to Win the Nobel Prize: An Unexpected Life in Science. Conrad Black, Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Champion of Freedom. Harold Bloom (1930-), Genius: A Mosaic of One Hundred Exemplary Minds. Don Boys, ISLAM: America's Trojan Horse! (Mar.). Tara Brach (1953-), Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha. John R. Bradley, Behind the Veil of Vice: The Business and Culture of Sex in the Middle East (Sept.). Rick Bragg, I Am a Soldier, Too: The Jessica Lynch Story. H.W. Brands, Founders Chic: Our Reverence for the Fathers Has Gotten Out of Hand; pub. in the Sept. issue of The Atlantic Monthly. Timothy H. Breen (1942-) and Timothy D. Hall, Colonial America in an Atlantic World: A Story of Creative Interaction. Douglas Brinkley (1960-), Wheels for the World: Henry Ford, His Company, and a Century of Progress, 1903-2003. Po Bronson, What Should I Do With My Life?. Judith M. Brown, Nehru: A Political Life. James MacGregor Brown (1918-2014), Transforming Leadership: A New Pursuit of Happiness; proposs a new type of global leadership to combat global poverty. Paul Burrell, A Royal Duty. Augusten Burroughs (1965-), Dry: A Memoir; his alcoholism; Magical Thinking: True Stories (essays). Bill Bryson (1951-), A Short Hitory of Nearly Everything; bestseller; popular science via bios. of scientists. Barbara Bush (1925-), Reflections: Life After the White House (autobio.). Norman F. Cantor (1929-2004), Antiquity (2 vols.). David Caute (1936-), Marechera and the Colonel. Marshall Chapman (1949-), Goodbye, Little Rock and Roller (autobio). Phyllis Chesler (1940-), The New Anti-Semitism: The Current Crisis and What We Must Do About It; "In our contemporary world anti-Zionism is nearly inseparable from anti-Semitism"; "African-Americans (not Jews) are the Jews in America but Jews are the world's niggers". Deepak Chopra (1946-), Golf for Enlightenment: The Seven Lessons for the Game of Life. Hillary Rodham Clinton (1947-), Living History (autobio.) (June 9); bestseller (1M+ copies); Simon & Schuster pays her an $8M advance after the U.S. Senate gives her special permission. Robert Coles (1929-), Bruce Springsteen's America: The People Listening, a Poet Singing. Nadia Comaneci (1961-), Letters to a Young Gymnast (autobio.). Nellie Connally (1919-2006), From Love Field: Our Final Hours with President John F. Kennedy; "Mister President, you can't say Dallas doesn't love you". Ann Coulter (1961-), Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism; attempts to rehabilitate Joseph McCarthy, causing admirer David Horowitz to part ranks with her. George Crile III (1945-2006), Charlie Wilson's War; bestseller; the CIA's secret war in Afghanistan in the late 1980s; claims to foresee the later jihad against Westerners. Herman Daly (1938-), Ecological Economics: The Concept of Scale and Its Relation to Allocation, Distribution, and Uneconomic Growth (Oct. 16); Ecological Economics: Principles and Applications (Nov. 1). Robert Dallek (1934-), An Unfinished Life; bio. of JFK. Richard Dawkins (1941-), A Devil's Chaplain. Robert Dallek, An Unfinished Life. Antonio Damasio (1944-), Looking for Spinoza: Joy, Sorrow, and the Feeling Brain. Daniel Dennett (1942-), Freedom Evolves. Peter Ferdinand Drucker (1909-2005), A Functioning Society. Alan Dershowitz (1938-), The Case for Israel; bestseller; critics accuse him of plagiarism; spawns the 2005 book "The Case Against Israel" by Michaael Neumann (1946-). Dinesh D'Souza (1961-), What's So Great About America? John Edward (1969-), After Life: Answers From the Other Side. Rachel Ehrenfeld, Funding Evil: How Terrorism is Financed and How to Stop It (Aug. 23); exposes Muslims who fund terrorism; too bad, billionaire Saudi businessman Khalid bin Mahfouz (1949-2009) stinks Britain up when he sues her in British court for libel and wins, even though she is a U.S. citizen, causing the N.Y. state legislature on May 1, 2008 to pass a law offering "New Yorkers greater protection against libel judgments in countries whose laws are inconsistent with the freedom of speech granted by the U.S. Constitution." Barbara Ehrenreich (1941-) and Arlie Hochschild (eds.), Global Woman: Nannies, Maids, and Sex Workers in the New Economy. Joseph Epstein (1937-), Envy. Niall Ferguson (1964-), Empire: How Britain Made the Modern World (2003), showing how "an archipelago of rainy islands... came to rule the world", defending it against critics for "impos[ing] free markets, the rule of law... and relatively incorrupt government" on a quarter of the Earth's pop.; details the British Empire of the 19th cent. and how it led globalization with military conquest, missionary work, spread of the English language, steam power, telegraphs, guns, and engineers, fueled by 20M emigrants between 1600-1960, with imports of coffee, tea, tobacco, and sugar fueling free movement of goods, capital, and labor, leading to mass consumerism; The difficulty with the achievements of empire is that they are much more likely to be taken for granted than the sins of empire"; "The question is not whether British imperialism was without blemish. It was not. The question is whether there could have been a less bloody path to modernity"; Empire: The Rise and Demise of the British World Order and the Lessons for Global Power. James Henry Fetzer (1940-), The Great Zapruder Film Hoax: Deceit and Deception in the Death of JFK; claims the CIA doctored it to bolster a lone gunman story. Jens Malte Fischer, Gustav Mahler; bestseller in Germany. Thomas Fleming, The Illusion of Victory: America in World War I. Antony Flew (1923-), Social Life and Moral Judgment; Does God Exist: The Craig-Flew Debate (with William Lane Craig). Anatoly Fomenko (1945-), Antiquity in the Middle Ages: Greek and Bible History; prominent Russian mathematician proposes the Fomenko Topological Transformation of History, claiming that human history goes back hundreds not thousands of years, and that most of it happened in the Middle Ages. Al Franken (1951-), Lies (And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them): A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right; Oh, the Things I Know! A Guide to Success, or Failing That, Happiness. Richard B. Freeman (1943-), Can Labor Standards Improve Under Globalization? James Christopher Frey (1969-), A Million Little Pieces (autobio.); on Jan. 8, 2006 SmokingGun.com pub. an expose calling it fiction, and on 1-10-06 Brian Williams on NBC Nightly News calls it "a million little fibs"; after Frey appears on CNN's Larry King Live with his mother Lynne on 1-11-06 to explain that it is a "memoir", on 1-27-06 Oprah Winfrey takes him to task and gets him to admit it's a fabrication - but then, what is fact and what is fiction when you got your hands on the green? Steve Fuller, Kuhn vs. Popper: The Struggle for the Soul of Science. Paul Fussell Jr. (1924-2012), The Boys' Crusade: The American Infantry in Northwestern Europe, 1944-1945; "At this distance it may not be easy to remember that the European ground war in the west was fought by American boys 17, 18 and 19 years old…. These infantry soldiers, if they weren't children, weren't quite men either... Taken as a whole, the boys had a powerful propulsion of optimism, a sense that the war couldn't last forever, and that if anyone was going to get wounded, it would not be them." Tess Gallagher (1943-), A Concert of Tenses (essays). Gangaji (1942-), Just Like You: An Autobiography; how she meets Papaji in India in 1990 and becomes spiritual. John William Gardner (1912-2002), Living, Leading, and the American Dream. Henry Louis Gates Jr. (1950-), The Trials of Phillis Wheatley: America's First Black Poet and Her Encounters with the Founding Fathers. Stephen Jay Gould (1941-2002), The Hedgehog, the Fox, and the Magister's Pox (posth.); the historical war between the sciences and humanities, and how it was all a misunderstanding? Winston Graham (1908-2003), Memoirs of a Private Man (autobio.). Pete Hamill (1935-), Why Sinatra Matters. Olav Hammer, Claiming Knowledge: Strategies of Epistemology from Theosophy to the New Age. Victor Davis Hanson (1953-), Ripples of Battle: How Wars Fought Long Ago Still Determine How We Fight, How We Live, and How We Think. Mexifornia: A State of Becoming; the horrible Mexican Huns are taking over Calif., oh my? Donna Haraway (1944-), The Companion Species Manifesto: Dogs, People, and Significant Otherness. Steven Hahn (1951-), A Nation Under our Feet: Black Political Struggles in the Rural South from Slavery to the Great Migration (Nov. 10) (Pulitzer Prize); African-Am. political power in the U.S. from the end of the U.S. Civil War to the Great Migration in 1915-30. Anthony Hecht (1923-2004), Melodies Unheard: Essays on the Mysteries of Poetry. Chris Hedges (1956-), What Every Person Should Know About War (June 3). David Hirst, The Gun and the Olive Branch. Peter Hitchens (1951-), A Brief History of Crime. Edward Hoagland (1932-), Hoagland on Nature. Tom Holland (1968-), Rubicon: The Triumph and Tragedy of the Roman Republic. Ian Spencer Hornsey, A History of Beer and Brewing. David Joel Horowitz (1939-), Left Illusions: An Intellectual Odyssey. Imran Nazar Hosein (1942-), Jerusalem in the Quran; Trinidadian Islamic scholar's anti-Zionist view. Raphael Israeli, Islamikaze: Manifestations of Islamic Martyrology. Davis D. Joyce, Howard Zinn: A Radical American Vision. Robert Kagan (1958-), Of Paradise and Power: America and Europe in the New World Order; internat. bestseller claiming that U.S. foreign policy is based on having power, and Europe's is based on not having any. Efraim Karsh (1953-), Rethinking the Middle East; Arafat's War: The Man and His Battle for Israeli Conquest. Rita Katz, Terrorist Hunter: The Extraordinary Story of a Woman Who Went Undercover to Infiltrate the Radical Islamic Groups Operating in America. Sir John Keegan (1934-), Intelligence in War: Knowledge of the Enemy from Napoleon to Al-Qaeda. Tracy Kidder (1945-), Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, A Man Who Would Cure the World; about Partners in Health (founded 1987). Stephen Kinzer, All the Shah's Men: An American Coup and the Roots of Middle East Terror (July 18); how the U.S. and Britain stabbed PM Mossadeq in the back in 1953 to restore the bum shah, turning Iran against them and giving it to the Islamists. Kenneth Kitchen (1932-), On the Reliability of the Old Testament; attempts to prove the historicity of the Old Testament. Edward Klein (1937-), All Too Human: The Love Story of Jack and Jackie Kennedy. Jon Krakauer (1954-), Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith; disses fundamentalist polygamist Mormon sects. Tony Kushner (1956-) and Alisa Solomon (eds.), Wrestling with Zion: Progressive Jewish-American Responses to the Israel-Palestinian Conflict (Dec.); Kushner later pisses-off Zionists with his proposal to merge the two countries "because [they're] geographically kind of ridiculous looking on a map". Robert Langdon (1964-), Symbols of the Sacred Feminine; by a prof. of religious symbology at Harvard U., whose portrait bears a striking resemblance to Hollywood actor Tom Hanks? :) Erik Larson (1954-), The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic and Madness at the Fair That Changed America; bestseller about the creepy doings at the 1893 Columbian Exposition in Chicago. Bernard Lewis (1916-), The Crisis of Islam: Holy War and Unholy Terror. Michael Lewis (1960-), Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game (June 17); Billy Beane of the Oakland A's and how he got good players at low prices by considering college and h.s. performance and using raw number-crunching; after winning a record 20 straight games in the 2002 season, the A's make the playoffs 5x under Beane's system, then miss the playoffs for the next five seasons. Robert Jay Lifton (1926-), Superpower Syndrome: America's Apocalyptic Confrontation with the World; the U.S. "national mind-set... that takes on a sense of omnipotence, of unique standing in the world that grants it the right to hold sway over all other nations", that is "part of an ongoing dynamic in which the American apocalyptic interacts, almost to the point of collusion, with the Islamic apocalyptic"and "has in it the potential seeds of world destruction". David Limbaugh (1952-), Persecution: How Liberals are Waging War Against Christians (Oct.). Graham Lord (1943-), Niv: The Authorised Biography of David Niven; actor David Niven (1910-83). John Lott (1958-), The Bias Against Guns: Why Almost Everything You've Heard About Gun Control is Wrong (Mar. 25); big hit with the NRA crowd. Manning Marable (1950-2011), The Great Wells of Democracy: The Meaning of Race in American Life. Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson, The Pig Who Sang to the Moon; farm animal rights. Barr McClellan, Blood, Money & Power: How LBJ Killed JFK (Sept.); NYT #1 bestseller; claims LBJ was the driving force behind JFK's assassination; by a partner in Clark Law Firm of Austin, Tex., which handled LBJ's business transactions; "It is the most serious of public accusations, but it is so serious that serious people dismiss it as nuts." (NYT) Bill McKibben (1960-), Enough: Staying Human in an Engineered Age; disses Transhumanism. Jon Ellis Meacham (1969-), Franklin and Winston: An Intimate Portrait of an Epic Friendship. Douglas Moggach, The Philosophy and Ethics of Bruno Bauer; the Jesus-is-a-myth guy Bruno Bauer (1809-82). Jurgen Moltmann (1926-), Science and Wisdom. Dito Montiel (1965-), A Guidebook to Recognizing Your Saints (autobio.). James Moore and Wayne Slater, Bush's Brain: How Karl Rove Made George W. Bush Presidential; released as a documentary film in 2004 dir. by Joseph Mealey and Michael Paradies Shoob. Michael Moore (1954-), Dude, Where's My Country? Robin Morgan (1941-) (ed.), Sisterhood is Forever. Richard Ward Morris (1939-2003), The Last Sorcerers: The Path from Alchemy to the Periodic Table (posth.). Sir John Mortimer (1923-2009), Where There's a Will (autobio.). Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran. Jacob Needleman (1934-), Lost Christianity; Heart of Philosophy; Time and the Soul; The American Soul. Aryeh Neier (1979-), Taking Liberties: Four Decades in the Struggle for Human Rights. Paul Newman (1925-2008) and A.E. Hotchner (1920-), Shameless Exploitation in Pursuit of the Common Good; the Newman's Own Co. and the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. Queen Noor (1951-), Leap of Faith. Richard O'Neill, Patrick O'Brian's Navy: The Illustrated Companion to Jack Aubrey's World. Bill O'Reilly (1949-), Who's Looking Out For You?. Michael B. Oren (1955-), Reunion. Elinor Ostrom (1933-), Trust and Reciprocity: Interdisciplinary Lessons from Experimental Research. Elaine Pagels (1943-), Beyond Belief: The Secret Gospel of Thomas; how the Gospel of Thomas claims that Jesus was not God but just a New Age teacher, and that the Gospel of John was written to counter it and to blacken the name of Doubting Thomas' name. Michael Parenti (1933-), The Assassination of Julius Caesar: A People's History of Ancient Rome; the rabble's POV. Joseph Chilton Pearce (1926-), Spiritual Initiation and the Breakthrough of Consciousness: The Bond of Power. Francis Edwards Peters, Jerusalem: The Contested City; Islam: A Guide for Jews and Christians. Ralph Peters (1952-), Beyond Baghdad: Postmodern War and Peace. Kevin Phillips (1940-), William McKinley. Daniel Pipes (1949-), Miniatures: Views of Islamic and Middle Eastern Politics (Oct.) (essays). The Pontifical Councils for Culture and Religious Dialogue, Jesus Christ: The Bearer of the Water of Life. A Christian Reflection on the "New Age"; points out that the New Age Movement is neither new nor a religious movement, but is an eclectic mix from the Orient, Gnosticism, and pagan religions, mixed with Darwinian Evolution, Depth Psychology, Quantum Mechanics, Feminism, and Ecology - they're jealous and should see a pshrink? Roy Porter (1946-2002), Blood and Guts: A Short History of Medicine. Samantha Power (1970-), A Problem from Hell America and the Age of Genocide (Pulitzer Prize). Reynolds Price (1933-), A Serious Way of Wondering: The Ethics of Jesus Imagined. Michael S. Radu (1947-2009), Dangerous Neighborhood: Contemporary Issues in Turkey's Foreign Relations. Tariq Ramadan, Western Muslims and the Future of Islam; claims that "Islam is European" and can develop its own pro-Western brand; in 2009 he pub. "What I Believe", saying "We are witnessing the birth of a Western Islamic culture within which Muslims remain faithful to fundamental religious principles, while owning up to their Western cultures. They are both fully Muslim as to religion and fully Western as to culture, and that is no problem at all." Marcus Raskin (1934-), Liberalism: The Genius of American Ideals. Diane Ravitch (1938-), The Language Police: How Pressure Groups Restrict What Students Learn; accuses both the left and right of having PC police; Making Good Citizens: Education and Civil Society; Kid Stuff: Marketing Sex and Violence to America's Children. Marc Reisner (1948-2000), A Dangerous Place (posth.). Andrew Roberts (1963-), Hitler and Churchill: Secrets of Leadership. Pete Rose (1941-) and Rick Hill, My Prison Without Bars. Marshall B. Rosenberg (1934-), Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life; disses the "Dominator Culture" that allows a minority to rule over the majority, advocating educational reforms incl. no grades, authority, labels, punishments, rewards, duty, or obligations. Emmanuel Saenz (1972-) and Thomas Piketty, Income Inequality in the United States, 1913-1998. Amin Saikal, Islam and the West: Conflict or Cooperation? Michael Savage (1942-), The Enemy Within: Saving America from the Liberal Assault on Our Schools, Faith, and Military; "Federal courts and judges in America today are to be more feared than al-Qaida." Michael F. Scheuer, Through Our Enemies' Eyes: Osama Bin Laden, Radical Islam & the Future of America; chief of the CIA Bin Laden Issue Station (Alec Station) in 1996-9. Peter Dale Scott (1929-), Drugs, Oil and War. Robert J. Shiller (1946-), Is There a Bubble in the Housing Market? Bernie S. Siegel, 365 Prescriptions for the Soul. Kenneth Silverman (1936-), Lightning Man: The Accursed Life of Samuel F.B. Morse. Peter Singer (1946-), Pushing Time Away: My Grandfather and the Tragedy of Jewish Vienna. George Soros (1930-), The Alchemy of Finance (Aug. 1); "I admit that I have always harbored an exaggerated view of my self-importance - to put it bluntly, I fancied myself as some kind of god or an economic reformer like Keynes (each with his General Theory) or, even better, a scientist like Einstein (reflexivity sounds like relativity"; The Bubble of American Supremacy: Correcting the Misuse of American Power (Dec.); the "primary objective is to persuade the American public to reject President Bush in the forthcoming elections"; "Although the West has material superiority, Islam will prevail because it has a major competitive advantage: it is not afraid of death." Thomas Sowell (1930-), Applied Economics: Thinking Beyond Stage One. George Steiner (1929-), Lessons of the Masters. Victor J. Stenger (1935-), Has Science Found God? The Latest Results in the Search for Purpose in the Universe. Ian Stevenson (1918-2007), European Cases of the Reincarnation Type. Joseph Stiglitz (1943-), The Roaring Nineties: A New History of the World's Most Prosperous Decade. Cass R. Sunstein (1954-), Why Societies Need Dissent. Ron Suskind (1959-), The Price of Loyalty. Jeff Tamarkin, Got A Revolution: The Turbulent Flight of Jefferson Airplane. Amy Tan (1952-), The Opposite of Fate. William Taubman (1940-), Khrushchev: The Man and His Era (mar. 1) (Pulitzer Prize); took 20 years to write, making use of archives in Russia and Ukraine after the collapse of the Soviet Union. Hugh Thomas (1931-), Rivers of Gold. Lester Thurow (1938-), Fortune Favors the Bold: What We Must Do to Build a New and Lasting Global Prosperity; touts the triumph of U.S. capitalism in a "third industrial revolution" based on a knowledge-based global economy with a global info. infrastructure, which he claims can meet the challenges of the U.S. trade deficit, surge of Chinese exports, stagnation of the Japanese et al.; proposes that the IMF be replaced by internat. bank deposit insurance, that govts. use eminent domain to take over pharmaceutical patents, and that the U.S. govt. permit U.S. corporations to ignore copyrights originating in countries that refuse to prosecute copyright pirates. Kenneth R. Timmerman (1953-), Preachers of Hate: Islam and the War Against America. Fred Vargas (1957-), Routes of the Plague (Les chemins de la peste); definite research on the epidemiology of the Black Death. Michael Walzer (1935-) et al. (eds.), The Jewish Political Tradition, Vol. II: Membership. Stuart Wilde (1946-), God's Gladiators. Garry Wills (1934-), Negro President: Jefferson and the Slave Power. Andrew Norman Wilson (1950-), Iris Murdoch as I Knew Her; English novelist Iris Murdoch (1919-99); how she "thrived on acts of betrayal" and was "prepared to go to bed with almost anyone". Michael Wolff, Autumn of the Moguls: My Misadventures with Titans, Poseurs, and Money Guys Who Mastered and Messed Up Big Media. Robin Wood (1931-2009), Hollywood from Vietnam to Reagan; Rio Bravo. Howard Zinn (1922-2010), The Twentieth Century: A People's History. Slavoj Zizek, The Parallax View. Plays: T. Gregory Argall, A Year in the Death of Eddie Jester (Cyril Clark Library Theatre, ); Apr. 23. Kwame Kwei-Armah, Elmina's Kitchen (May). Alan Ayckbourn (1939-), Sugar Daddies (Stephen Joseph Theatre, Scarborough) (July 23); a bimbo and an rich old man, who turns out sinister. Matthew Barber, Enchanted April (Apr. 4) (Belasco Theater, New York). David Barr and Mamie Till Mobley, The State of Mississippi and the Face of Emmett Till; Emmett Till (1941-55). Nilo Cruz, Anna in the Tropics (Pulitzer Prize) (Nov. 16) (Royale Theatre, New York); stars Jimmy Smits as Juan Julian in a Fla. cigar factory in 1929 reading Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina". Nick Dear, Power; stars Rupert Penry-Jones as Louis XIV of France (1638-1715), and Stephen Boxer as his finance minister Jean-Baptiste Colbert (1619-83). Roddy Doyle (1958-), The Woman Who Walked into Doors; based on his 1996 novel. Bryan Fogel and Sam Wolfson, Jewtopia's Guide to Being All That Jew Can Be! (Coast Playhouse, West Hollywood) (May 8). Michael Frayn (1933-), Democracy (Nat. Theatre, London) (Sept. 9); West German chancellor Willy Brandt's decision to expose Commie spy Gunter Guillaume. William Gibson (1914-2008), Golda's Balcony. Richard Greenberg, The Violet Hour (Manhattan Theatre Club, New York) (Nov. 6) (54 perf.); a strapped publisher must choose between publishing the giant novel of his college rommate Denis McCleary or the memoirs of his mistress Jessie Brewster. Norman Hudis, Seven Deadly Sins Four Deadly Brothers (Princess Theatre, Norfolk) (June 15). Fred Lawless and Len Pentin, Slappers and Slapheads (Royal Court Theatre, Liverpool). Wendy MacLeod, Juvenilia. Peter Martins, Thou Swell (ballet); tribute to Richard Rodgers. William Mastrosimone, The Afghan Women (Mill Hill Playhouse, Trenton, N.J.). Martin McDonagh, The Pillowman (Cottesloe Theatre, London) (Nov. 13); writer Katurian is grilled by his police state over the content of his short stories. Thomas Kilroy (1934-), The Shape of Metal (Peacock Theatre, Dublin). Tony Kushner (1956-), Only We Who Guard the Mystery Shall Be Unhappy. Nell Leyshon, Glass Eels (radio play); a girls' sexual awakening and eel fishing. Matthew McDonagh, The Pillowman (Nov. 13) (Nat. Theatre, London). Mark Medoff (1940-), Prymate. William Nicholson, The Retreat from Moscow (Oct. 23) (Booth Theater, New York); about Alice (Eileen Atkins) and Edward (John Lithgow). John Henry Redwood, No Niggers, No Jews, No Dogs (Jan. 1) (Philadelphia); the Cheeks family in 1949 N.C. Tim Robbins, Embedded; satirizes the Bush admin. via the Iraqi War. Willy Russell (1947-), Hoovering the Moon. John Patrick Shanley (1950-), Dirty Story; the Israeli-Palestine relationship as a sadomasochistic relationship between a man and woman. Stephen Sonheim (1930-) and John Weidman (1946-), Road Show (Bounce) (musical) (Goodman Theater, Chicago) (June 20); Addison and Wilson Mizner from the Alaska Gold Rush to the 1930s Fla. real estate boom. Simon Stephens (1971-), One Minute. Paul Vogel, The Long Christmas Ride Home (Providence, R.I.) (May 16). John Weidman (1946-) and Stephen Sondheim (1930-), Bounce (Road Show) (Goodman Theatre, Chicago) (June 20); dir. by Harold Prince; first Prince-Sondheim collaboration since "Merrily We Roll Along" (1981); a flop. Doug Wright, I'm My Own Wife (Dec. 3) (Lyceum Theater, New York). Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife (Playwrights Horizons, New York) (May 27); about German transvestite Charlotte von Mahlsdorf (1928-2002), AKA Lothar Berfeld. Nicholas Wright, His Dark Materials (Nat. Theatre, London) (Dec. 20); based on the Phillip Pullman novels; Vincent in Brixton; Vincent Van Gogh in Brixton, London in 1873. Poetry: Nanni Balestrini (1935-), Tutto in una Volta, Antologia 1954-2003; Sfinimondo. Andrei Codrescu (1946-), It Was Today: New Poems. Billy Collins (1941-) (ed.), Poetry 180: A Turning Back to Poetry. Robert Creeley (1926-2005), If I Were Writing This. Stephen Dunn (1939-), Local Visitations. Marilyn Hacker (1942-), Desesperanto: Poems 1999-2002; First Cities: Collected Early Poems 1960-1979. Jim Harrison and Ted Kooser (1939-), Braided Creek: A Conversation in Poetry. John Hollander (1929-), Picture Window. Maxine Kumin (1925-), Bringing Together: Uncollected Early Poems 1958-1988. Czeslaw Milosz (1911-2004), Orpheus and Eurydice. Paul Muldoon, Moy Sand and Gravel (Pulitzer Prize). Mary Oliver (1935-), Owls and Other Fantasies: Poems and Essays. Frithjof Schuon (1907-98), Adastra & Stella Maris: Poems by Frithjob Schuon (posth.). Charles Simic (1938-), The Voice at 3:00 A.M.: Selected Late and New Poems. C.K. Williams (1936-), The Singing. Novels: Peter Ackroyd (1949-), The Clerkenwell Tales. Catherine Aird (1930-), Amendment of Life. Martin Amis (1949-), Yellow Dog; a flop; "It's like your favorite uncle being caught in a school playground, masturbating" (Tibor Fischer). Margaret Atwood (1939-), Oryx and Crake; Snowman lives in a post-apocalyptic world populated by the primitive humanoid genetically-engineered race of Crakers; when fans call the novel science-fiction, she responds that it's "speculative fiction, not a science fiction proper. It contains no intergalactic space travel, no teleportation, no Martians", later adding "talking squids in outer space", pissing-off sci-fi fans. Gwenaelle Aubry (1971-), The Isolation (L'Isolement). Louis Auchincloss (1917-), The Scarlet Letters; his 59th book. David Ball, Ironfire. J.G. Ballard (1930-2009), Millennium People. John Banville (1945-), The Sea; art historian Max Morden. Pat Barker (1943-), Double Vision. Frederick Barthelme (1943-), Elroy Nights. Austin Bay, The Wrong Side of Brightness. Greg Bear (1951-), Darwin's Children; sequel to "Darwin's Radio" (1999). Thomas Berger (1924-), Best Friends. Steve Berry (1955-), The Amber Room (Aug. 26); pub. by Ballantine Books after 12 years and 85 rejections; Judge Rachel Cutler and her divorced hubby Paul hunt for the Amber Room of the Catherine Palace in Tsarskoe Selo, Russia, which disappeared in 1945; launches his bestselling historical adventure novel career (18M copies). Holly Black (1971-) and Tony DiTerlizzi (1969-), The Field Guide; first of "The Spiderwick Chronicles", a silly fantasy story for kiddies - that are dummer than dog doo? Lawrence Block, Small Town; post-9/11 New York City. T. Coraghessan Boyle (1948-), Drop City. Anita Brookner (1928-), The Next Big Thing (Making Things Better). Pass the cilice, Mother T? Dan Brown (1964-), The Da Vinci Code (Mar. 18) (two days after the U.S. invades Iraq); 10K advance copies and 230K initial press run; 23,578 sold the first week, making #1 on the NYT bestseller list ("the novel that ate the world"); "Renowned curator Jacques Sauniere staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery" (first line); "O, Draconian devil! Oh, lame saint!"; "So dark the con of man"; "In London lies a knight a pope interred/ His labor's fruit a Holy wrath incurred/ You seek the orb that ought be on his tomb/ It speaks of Rosy flesh and seeded womb"; "The Holy Grail 'neath ancient Roslin waits/ The blade and chalice guarding o'er Her gates/ She rests at last beneath the starry skies"; Harris Tweed-loving Harvard U. religious symbology prof. Robert Langdon (language don?), Capt. Bezu Fache (busy fish?) and Lt. Jerome Collet (roam around and collate his boss' microfiche?) of the DCPJ, Jacques Sauniere (saner?) of the Louvre, "Princess" Sophie (Sofia) Neveu (renovate?) alias St. Clair (not Plantard), monk Silas (Sauniere's Judas?) and Bishop Manuel Aringarosa (ring around the rosey?) of Opus Dei (which has only lay members?), Andre Vernet (wears vernier Rolex timepieces?) of the Depository Bank of Zurich, Sir Leigh Teabing (Sir Lipton tea bag?) alias the Teacher at Chateau Villette (1668) and his manservant Remy Legaludec (legal duke?) from Lyons and his Medusa revolver, the Da Vinci cryptex with password SOFIA, er, APPLE, fleur de lis, PHI, Amon L'Isa, 325 Council of Nicea, security warden Claude Grouard (guard?), Pamela Gettum (I'll get um for ya?) of King's College library, Church of Saint-Sulpice in Paris with the first Rose Line and Sister Sandrine Bieil (bee eye?), Vatican Biblioteca Astronomica, Gare Saint-Lazre train station, 24 Rue Haxo and the Bois de Boulogne ("garden of earthly delights"), Friday the 13th of Oct. 1307, Leonardo da Vinci (always called Leonardo, never da Vinci?) and his Vitruvian Man, Mona Lisa, Madonna of the Rocks and skitoma-filled Last Supper, Sofia, 1099 Priory of Sion and Godefroi de Bouillon, Pentacle of Venus and Hieros Gamos, Dead Sea Scrolls, Sang Real not San Greal, Mary Magdalene of the tribe of Benjamin and Jesus of the House of David equals unbelievable; Atbash cipher and Sheshach alias Babel, Sir Isaac Newton and Alexander Pope, 1185 London Temple Church and 1065 Westminster Abbey with College Garden and octagonal Chapter House, 1446 Rosslyn Chapel (Cathedral of Codes) with the Boaz and Jachin pillars, Fibonacci sequence 13-3-2-21-1-1-8-5; "Yo soy un espectro" (Silas) (p. 56); starting with Ch. 58 the book gets rather preachy?; "Leonardo was one of the keepers of the secret of the Holy Grail. And he hid clues in his art" (Teabing) (p. 230); "Almost everything our fathers taught us about Christ is false... More than eighty gospels were considered for the New Testament, and yet only a relative few were chosen for inclusion - Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, among them... The Bible, as we know it today, was collated by the pagan Roman emperor Constantine the Great... a lifelong pagan who was baptized on his deathbed, too weak to protest" (Teabing) (pp. 230-1); "At this gathering many aspects of Christianity were debated and voted upon - the date of Easter, the role of the bishops, the administration of sacraments, and of course, the divinity of Jesus... Until that moment in history, Jesus was viewed by His followers as a mortal prophet... a great and powerful man, but a man nonetheless.... Jesus' establishment as 'the son of God' was officially proposed and voted on by the Council of Nicaea... A relatively close vote at that"; "It was all about power... Christ as Messiah was critical to the functioning of Church and state. Many scholars claim that the early Church literally stole Jesus from His original followers, hijacking His human message, shrouding it in an impenetrable cloak of divinity, and using it to expand their own power" (Teabing) (p. 233); "The twist is this... Because Constantine upgraded Jesus' status almost four centuries after Jesus' death, thousands of documents already existed chronicling His life as a mortal man. To rewrite the history books, Constantine knew he would need a bold stroke. From this sprang the most profound moment in Christian history... Constantine commissioned and financed a new Bible, which omitted those gospels that spoke of Christ's human traits and embellished those gospels that made Him godlike. The earlier gospels were outlawed, gathered up, and burned" (Teabing) (p. 234); "Fortunately for historians... some of the gospels that Constantine attempted to eradicate managed to survive... the Dead Sea Scrolls were found in the 1950s hidden in a cave near Qumran in the Judean desert. And, of course, the Coptic Scrolls in 1945 at Nag Hammadi. In addition to telling the true Grail story, these documents speak of Christ's ministry in very human terms. Of course, the Vatican, in keeping with their tradition of misinformation, tried very hard to suppress the release of these scrolls. And why wouldn't they? The scrolls highlight glaring historical discrepancies and fabrications, clearly confirming that the modern Bible was compiled and edited by men who possessed a political agenda - to promote the divinity of the man Jesus Christ and use His influence to solidify their own power base" (Teabing) (p. 234); "The Grail... is symbolic of the lost goddess. When Christianity came along, the old pagan religions did not die easily. Legends of chivalric quests for the lost Grail were in fact stories of forbidden quests to find the lost sacred feminine. Knights who claimed to be 'searching for the chalice' were seaking in code as a way to protect themselves from a Church that had subjugated women, banished the Goddess, burned nonbelievers, and forbidden the pagan reverence for the sacred feminine" (Langdon) (pp. 238-9); "It was not Peter to whom Christ gave directions with which to establish the Christian Church. It was Mary Magdalene... Jesus was the original feminist. He intended for the future of His Church to be in the hands of Mary Magdalene" (Teabing) (p. 248); "Behold the greatest cover-up in human history. Not only was Jesus Christ married, but He was a father. My dear, Mary Magdalene was the Holy Vessel. She was the chalice that bore the royal bloodline of Jesus Christ. She was the womb that bore the lineage, and the vine from which the sacred fruit sprang forth" (Teabing) (p. 249); becomes bestselling adult novel of all time (60M by 2006), spawning the new genre of fractured history written at the 8th grade level for the history-starved masses ("You don't hate history, you just hate your own history"?) spoon-fed during a ridiculous murder adventure; milks the fallacy of the evil albino, the fallacy of the talking killer, and the fallacy of the Bride of Christ not being his Church but his hot freckled red-haired bunkbunny Mary Magdalene, whose DNA (check out that melanocritia-1 receptor?) is more valuable than weapons-grade plutonium?; the best hook is the novel's opening: "FACT... All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate", spawning the Anti-Da Vinci Code Industry; "Do we not have the right to be accompanied by a wife, as the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas?" (1 Cor. 9:5). John Burdett, Bangkok 8; Royal Thai Police dick Sonchai Jitpleecheep. James Lee Burke (1936-), Last Car to Elysian Fields. Hortense Calisher (1911-2009), Sunday Jews. Peter Carey, My Life as a Fake. Jimmy Carter (1924-), The Hornet's Nest: A Novel of the Revolutionary War (Nov. 11); first novel pub. by a U.S. pres. David Caute (1936-), The Dancer Defects. Tom Clancy (1947-2013), The Teeth of the Tiger; pres. Jack Ryan's nephews try to join the Handley Assocs. black ops firm.; introduces Jack Ryan Jr. Mary Higgins Clark (1927-), The Second Time Around. Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clezio (1940-), Revolutions (Révolutions). Paul Coelho (1947-), Eleven Minutes. Stephen Coonts (1946-), Liberty; Rear Adm. Jake Grafton #10. J.M. Coetzee (1940-), Elizabeth Costello: Eight Lessons; famous writer travels the world to give lectures on Kafka, and regresses into one of his monkeys?; really the author's female alter-ego? Harlan Cohen, No Second Chance. Jackie Collins (1937-2015), Hollywood Divorces. Robin Cook (1940-), Seizure. Jim Crace (1946-), Six. Clive Cussler (1931-), Trojan Odyssey; Dirk Pitt #17. Marie Darrieussecq (1969-), White; engineers Peter and Edmee on an isolated base in the South Pole. Guy Davenport (1927-2005), The Death of Picasso: New and Selected Writing. Samuel R. Delany (1942-), Aye, and Gomorrah, and Other Stories. Don DeLillo (1936-), Cosmopolis (Apr. 14); 28-y.-o. billionaire Eric Parker tries to take his stretch limo across midtown Manhattan to get a haircut and loses his fortune by betting against the rise of the yen. E.L. Doctorow (1931-), Reporting the Universe. Bruce Ducker, Mooney in Flight. Timothy Egan, The Winemaker's Daughter. Tom Englehardt, The Last Days of Publishing. Joseph Epstein (1937-), Fabulous Small Jews (short stories). Louise Erdrich (1954-), The Master Butchers Singing Club. Sebastian Faulks (1953-), Human Traces. David Flusfeder, The Gift. Mick Foley (1965-), Tietam Brown. Margaret Forster (1938-), Diary of an Ordinary Woman, 1914-1995. Frederick Forsyth (1938-), Avenger (Sept.); a Canadian billionaire hires a Vietnam vet to bring his grandson's killer to the U.S. Karin Fossum ("Norway's Queen of Crime"), Don't Look Back. Esther Freud (1963-), The Sea House. Cornelia Funke (1958-), Inkheart (Tintenherz) (Sept. 23 (NYT bestseller); first in the Inkheart Trilogy, incl. "Inkspell" (2005) and Inkdeath (2007), about teenie Meggie Folchart, whose bookbinder daddy Mo has the ability to bring chars. from books to life; filmed in 2008; the series sells 20M+ copies. Alan Furst (1941-), Blood of Victory; Night Soldiers #7. William Gibson (1948-), Pattern Recognition. Rob Grant, Incompetence. Gunter Grass (1927-), Crabwalk. Thomas Christopher Greene, Mirror Lake (first novel). John Grisham (1955-), The King of Torts; Clay Carter as Melvin Belli? Michael Gruber, Tropic of Night. Laurell K. Hamilton, Incubus Dreams. Pete Hamill (1935-), Forever. Ron Hansen (1947-), Isn't It Romantic? Shirley Hazzard (1931-), The Great Fire. Homer Hickam, The Keeper's Son; first in trilogy about U.S. Coast Guard Capt. Josh Thurlow in WWII. Tony Hillerman (1925-2008), The Sinister Pig. Russell Hoban (1925-), Her Name Was Lola. Alice Hoffman (1952-), The Probable Future. Janette Turner Hospital (1942-), Due Preparations for the Plague. Khaled Hosseini (1965-), The Kite Runner; a young Afghan boy dealing with the fallout of an unexpected event amid bloodshed, rape, murder and abuse; bestseller. P.D. James (1920-), The Murder Room; Adam Dalgliesh #12. Rula Jebreal (1973-), Miral (first novel); internat. bestseller; filmed in 2010. Charles R. Johnson (1948-), Turning the Wheel. Edward P. Jones (1951-), The Known World (Pulitzer Prize). Kaylie Jones (1960-), Speak Now. Thomas Keneally (1935-), The Tyrant's Novel. Stephen King (1947-), The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla; The Dark Tower VI: Song of Susannah; Stephen King's The Dark Tower: A Concordance (by Robin Furth). Michael Muhammad Knight (1977-), The Taqwacores; taqwa (Islamic love-fear of Allah) + hardcore; Am.-born Muslim convert begins rejecting Islam's moral code and goes punk. Siegfried Lenz (1926-), Fundburo. Elmore Leonard (1925-2013), A Coyote's in the House. Doris Lessing (1919-2013), The Grandmothers. Jonathan Lethem (1964-), The Fortress of Solitude (Dec. 31). Elinor Lipman (1950-), The Pursuit of Alice Thrift. Penelope Lively (1933-), The Photograph. Mario Vargas Llosa (1936-), The Way to Paradise. Ismail Kadare (1936-), The Successor; Agamemnon's Daughter. Marne Davis Kellogg, Brilliant; internat. jewel thief Kick v. retired Scotland yard cmdr. Thomas Curtis. Stephen King (1947-), Desperation; yet another haunted town (in Nevada) that is saved by children? Dean Koontz (1945-), Odd Thomas. William Kowalski (1970-), The Adventures of Flash Jackson. Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake; two generations of Indian family attempt to assimilate into U.S. culture. Jonathan Lethem (1964-), The Fortress of Solitude. Gregory Maguire (1954-), Mirror, Mirror; a retelling of the tale of Snow White, about 16th cent. nobleman Don Vincente de Nevada of Montefior and his 7-y.-o. daughter Bianca. Peter Manson (1969-), Adjunct: An Undigest. Steve Martin (1945-), The Pleasure of My Company (Oct. 1); OCD-sufferer Daniel Pecan Cambridge of Santa Monica, Calif. James McBride (1957-), Miracle at St. Anna; the African-Am. 92nd Infantry Div. in Italy in 1944-5. Colum McCann (1965-), Dancer; Rudolph Nureyev. Colleen McCullough (1937-), The Touch (Nov.); Elizabeth Drummond travels from Kinross, Scotland to N.S.W., Australia in the late 19th cent. to marry her wealthy cousin Alexander Kinross. Larry McMurtry (1936-), By Sorrow's River; Tasmin Berrybender and Monty, son of her "Sin Killer" husband; Duane's Depressed; conclusion to the trilogy of "The Last Picture Show" and "Texasville". Robert K. Morgan (1965-), Broken Angels. David Morrell (1943-), The Protector. Toni Morrison (1931-), Love. Nicholas Mosley (1923-), Inventing God. Walter Mosley (1952-), Six Easy Pieces (short stories); Easy Rawlins #8, with the return of Mouse. Alice Munro (1931-), No Love Lost (short stories). David Nicholls (1966-), Starter for Ten; a first year British univ. student struggles to get on the Granada TV quiz show "University Challenge" to win hot Alice Harbinson; the first round is worth guess how many points. Joyce Carol Oates (1938-), The Tattooed Girl. Stewart O'Nan (1961-), The Night Country. Suze Orman (1951-), The Laws of Money, the Lessons of Life. Chueck Palahniuk, Diary. Sara Paretsky (1947-), Blacklist; V.I. Warshawski #11. Robert Brown Parker (1932-2010), Back Story; Spenser #30; Stone Cold; Jesse Stone #4. Arturo Perez-Reverte, Captain Alatriste. Ralph Peters (1952-), Flames of Heaven: A Novel of the End of the Soviet Union. Harry Mark Petrakis (1923-), Twilight of the Ice. Jodi Picoult (1966-), Second Glance. Marge Piercy (1936-), The Third Child. Stanley Pottinger, The Last Nazi. Richard Powers (1957-), The Time of Our Singing. Richard Price (1949-), Samaritan. Francine Prose (1947-), After Joanna Cotler. John Rechy (1934-), The Life and Adventures of Lyle Clemens. Kenneth Rexroth (1905-82), Complete Poems (posth.). Anne Rice (1941-), Blood Canticle. Joel C. Rosenberg (1967-), The Last Days. Boualem Sansal (1949-), Dis-moi le Paradis. Jose Saramago (1922-2010), The Double (O Homem Duplicado). Robert James Sawyer (1960-), Hominids. Deborah Scroggins, Emma's War; British aid worker in Sudan Emma McCune marries a polygamous Sudanese warlord and has her idealism tarnished as he wages jihad in South Sudan. Rupert Sheldrake (1942-), The Sense of Being Stared At, and Other Aspects of the Extended Mind. Carol Shields (1935-2003), Unless (final novel). Anita Shreve (1946-), Light on Snow. Lionel Shriver (1957-), We Need to Talk About Kevin (Apr. 14); Eva Khatchadourian talks about her son Kevin, who blinds his sister in one eye with Liquid Plumr, and uses a crossbow for a school massacre; filmed in 2011. Gary Shteyngart (1972-), The Russian Debutante's Handbook (first novel). Robert Silverberg (1935-), Roma Eterna; how Moses' bid for freedom from Egypt fails, meaning that there is no Jesus Christ, and later the Romans assassinate Muhammad, stopping Islam, allowing the Roman Empire to survive to the present day. Dan Simmons (1948-), Ilium; a recreation of the events of the Iliad on an alternate Earth and Mars; followed by "Olympos" (2005). Jane Smiley (1949-), Good Faith. Gary Soto (1952-), Buried Onions; Local News; Amnesia in a Republican County. Nicholas Sparks (1965-), The Guardian (Apr.); The Wedding (Sept.). Norman Spinrad (1940-), He Walked Among Us; The Druid King; Caesar's war against Gallic chieftain Vercingetorix in 52 B.C.E. Danielle Steel (1947-), Dating Game; Johnny Angel; Safe Harbour. Charlie Stella, Charlie Opera; Charlie Pelecchia. Neal Town Stephenson (1959-), The Confusion (part 2 of the Baroque Cycle). Robert Stone (1937-), Bay of Souls. Charles Stross (1964-), Singularity Sky; first in the Eschaton series. Graham Swift (1949-), The Light of Day. Amy Tan (1952-), The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings. Brad Thor (1969-), Path of the Assassin. Rose Tremain (1943-), The Colour. Lisa Tucker, The Promised World (first novel). Leon Uris (1924-2003), O'Hara's Choice; Amanda and Zachary. Bruce Alan Wagner (1954-), Still Holding; #3 of 3 in the Cellular Trilogy (begun 1996). Lauren Weisberger (1977-), The Devil Wears Prada (Oct. 6) (first novel); bestselling roman a clef about Vogue mag. ed.-in-chief (since 1988) Lady Anna Wintour (1949-) by her former asst. for 10 mo.; 23-y.-o. Brown U. grad. Andrea Sachs becomes asst. to Miranda Priestly of Runway Mag. (who fiendishly wears her Prada), and quits 1 mo. short of her 1-year goal; filmed in 2006 starring Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, and Emily Blunt; followed by "Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns" (2013). Louise Welsh, The Cutting Room (first novel); snuff porn in Glasgow, Scotland. Edmund White (1940-), Fanny: A Fiction; Frances Trollope and Frances Wright. T.L. Winslow (1953-), Kid Chr4ist. Tobias Wolff, Old School. James Wood (1965-), The Book Against God (first novel). Births: Am. "Damon Cross in Alex Cross" actor (black) Sayeed Shahidi on Feb. 14 in Minneapolis, Minn.; Iranian father, African-Am. mother; brother of Yara Shahidi (2000-); grows up in Calif. English "Dustbin Baby" actress Lucy Hutchinson on July 18 in Sanderstead, Croydon. Am. "Hushpuppy in Beasts of the Southern Wild" actress (black) Quvenzhane (Quvenzhané) Wallis on Aug. 28 in Houma, La.; first person in the 21st cent. to be nominated for a best actress Oscar. Deaths: Dominican world's almost oldest woman Elizabeth "Ma Pampo" Israel (b. 1875) in Jan. Am. "Woman of the Year" lyricist Peter Stone (b.1930) on Apr. 26 in New York City; won an Emmy in 1962, Oscar in 1965, and three Tonys. Chinese Dragon Lady Madame Chiang Kai-shek (b. 1898) on Oct. 23. German filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl (b. 1902) on Sept. 8 in Pocking (dies in her sleep); learned scuba diving at age 70, survived a car crash in her 60s, broke her hip at age 79 while skiing, and survived a heli crash at age 98, all after kissing Hitler? - good genes? Am. politician J. Strom Thurmond (b. 1902) on June 26 in Edgefield, S.C. English archeologist Mary Chubb (b. 1903) on Jan. 22. Am. caricaturist Al Hirschfeld (b. 1903) on Jan. 20 in New York City; on June 21, 2003 the Martin Beck Theatre on Broadway is renamed after him. British-born Am. comedian Bob Hope (b. 1903) on July 27 in Toluca Lake, Calif. at age 100; hosted the Academy Awards 20x. Am. aviation pioneer Bobbi Trout (b. 1906) on Jan. 24 in San Diego, Calif. (heart attack). Am. jazz man Benny Carter (b. 1907) on July 12 in Los Angeles, Calif. Am. actress Katharine Hepburn (b. 1907) on June 29 in Old Saybrook, Conn.; dies at age 96 at home surrounded by loved ones; the lights of Broadway are dimmed for an hour in tribute. English-born Am. jockey Johnny Longden (b. 1907) on Feb. 14 in Banning, Calif. Am. country singer Bill Carlisle (b. 1908) on Mar. 17 in Nashville, Tenn. Am. "Jed Clampett in The Beverly Hillbillies" actor Buddy Ebsen (b. 1908) on July 6 in Torrance, Calif. English "Poldark" novelist Winston Graham (b. 1908) on July 10 in London. English poet-critic Kathleen Jessie Raine (b. 1908) on July 6 in London. Am. playwright Sylvia Regan (b. 1908) on Jan. 18 in New York City. Am. John Wayne's wife (1933-45) Josephine Wayne (b. 1908) on June 24 in Calif. (cancer). Hungarian-born Am. "Dr. Strangelove" H-bomb physicist Edward Teller (b. 1908) on Sept. 9 in Stanford, Calif. English fashion designer Sir Edwin Hardy Amies (b. 1909) on Mar. 5. Vienna-born U.S. treasury secy. #57 (1961-5) C. Douglas Dillon (b. 1909) on Jan. 10 in New York City. Greek-Am. rat fink movie dir. Elia Kazan (b. 1909). English actress Rachel Kempson (b. 1910) on May 24 in Millbrook, N.Y. German SS Col. Helmut Knochen (b. 1910) on Apr. 4 in Baden-Baden; pardoned by Charles de Gaulle in 1958. Am. journalist Fred James Cook (b. 1911) on Apr. 4 English "Cocoon" actor Hume Cronyn (b. 1911) on June 15 in Fairfield, Conn. (prostate cancer). Am. politician Frank Moss (b. 1911) on Jan. 29. Am. nurse Ann Agnes Bernatitus (b. 1912) on Mar. 3 in Wilkes-Barre, Penn. Am. "PT-109" writer Robert J. Donovan (b. 1912) on Aug. 8 in St. Petersburg, Fla. (stroke). Am. poet James Dillet Freeman (b. 1912) on Apr. 9. English historian Christopher Hill (b. 1912) on Feb. 23 in Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire (Alzheimer's). English actress Dame Wendy Hiller (b. 1912) on May 14 in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire. South African ANC leader Walter Sisulu (b. 1912) on May 5. Am. economist Abram Bergson (b. 1914) on Apr. 23 in Cambridge, Mass. Am. linguist Charles Berlitz (b. 1914) on Dec. 18 in Tamarac, Fla. Am. "Spartacus" novelist Howard Fast (b. 1914) on Mar. 12 in Old Greenwich, Conn. Am. "Because All Men Are Brothers" folk singer-songwriter Tom Glazer (b. 1914) on Feb. 21 in Rochester, N.Y. Am. actor Stacy Keach Sr. (b. 1914) on Feb. 13 in Burbank, Calif. (congestive heart failure). Am. "Li'l Abner", "Road to Utopia" dir. Norman Panama (b. 1914) on Jan. 13 in Los Angeles, Calif. (Parkinson's). Am. actress Elaine Steinbeck (b. 1914) on Apr. 27 in Manhattan, N.Y. English historian Hugh Trevor-Roper (b. 1914) on Jan. 26 in Didcot, Oxfordshire. English "Delbert Grady in The Shining" actor Philip Stone (b. 1914) on June 15 in London. Am. "You Always Hurt the One You Love" songwriter Doris Fisher (b. 1915) on Jan. 15 in Los Angeles, Calif. Am. WWII USMC fighter ace and AFL commissioner (1959-66) Joe Foss (b. 1915) on Jan. 1. Am. human ecologist Garrett James Hardin (b. 1915) on Sept. 14 in Santa Barbarra, Calif. (suicide along with his wife a la the Hemlock Society). Am. actor Harold Ayer (b. 1916) on Mar. 6 in Los Angeles, Calif. Am. "Bela Oxymyx in Star Trek" actor Anthony Caruso (b. 1916) on Apr. 4 in Brentwood, Calif. German-born Canadian philosopher-theologian Emil Ludwig Fackenheim (b. 1916) on Sept. 19 in Jerusalem. French feminist politician Francoise Giroud (b. 1916) on Jan. 19 in Paris: "Feminism, as far as I know, is not about the right or the left." Am. economist Walt Whitman Rostow (b. 1916) on Feb. 13. Am. "Gilligan's Island Theme" composer George Wyle (b. 1916) on May 2 in Tarzana, Calif. (leukemia). Am. Coors CEO (1980-88) Joseph Coors (b. 1917) on Mar. 15 in Rancho Mirage, Calif. (cancer). Am. philosopher Donald Herbert Davidson (b. 1917) on Aug. 30 in Berkeley, Calif. Am. lit. critic Leslie Fiedler (b. 1917) on Jan. 29 in Buffalo, N.Y.: "To be an American (unlike being English or French or whatever) is precisely to imagine a destiny rather than to inherit one; since we have always been, insofar as we are Americans at all, inhabitants of myth rather than history." Spanish novelist Jose Maria Gironella (b. 1917) on Jan. 3 in Arenys de Mar, Gerona. Am. composer Lou Harrison (b. 1917) on Feb. 2. Am. historian Jackson Turner Main (b. 1917) on Oct. 19 in Boulder, Colo. (Alzheimer's). Russian-born Belgian chemist Ilya Prigogine (b. 1917) on May 28 in Brussels; 1977 Nobel Chem. Prize. Cuban "Watermelon Man" jazz percussionist Mongo Santamaria (b. 1917) on Feb. 1 in Miami, Fla. Am. "Charles Hamilton in Gone with the Wind" actor Rand Brooks (b. 1918) on Sept. 1 in Santa Ynez, Calif. Am. "Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners" actor Art Carney (b. 1918) on Nov. 9 in Chester, Conn. Am. actress Anne Gwynne (b. 1918) on Mar. 31 in Woodland Hills, Calif. Pakistani leader Nawabzada Nasrullah Khan (b. 1918). U.S. Sen. (D-La.) (1948-87) Russell B. Long (b. 1918) on May 9; chmn. of the Senate Committee on Finance: "Don't tax you; don't tax me; tax that man behind the tree." Italian-born Am. economist Franco Modigliani (b. 1918) on Sept. 25 in Cambridge, Mass.; 1985 Nobel Econ. Prize. U.S. treasury secy. (1981-5) Donald T. Regan (b. 1918) on June 10 in Williamsburg, Va. English producer Peter Shaw (b. 1918) on Jan. 22 in Los Angeles, Calif. (heart failure). Am. TV game show host Mike Stokey (b. 1918) on Sept. 7 in Las Vegas, Nev. (liver disease). Am. TV quiz show producer Steve Carlin (b. 1919) on Feb. 4 in New York City (Alzheimer's). Am. historian Margaret Louise Coit (b. 1919) on Mar. 15 in Amesbury, Mass. Am. media mogul Edward Gaylor (b. 1919) on Apr. 27 in Oklahoma City, Okla. Am. writer Marion Hargrove (b. 1919) on Aug. 23. Am. Episcopal bishop Paul Moore Jr. (b. 1919) on May 1. Am. historian Richard Elliott Neustadt (b. 1919) on Oct. 31 in London. Am. "Eliot Ness in The Untouchables" actor Robert Stack (b. 1919) on May 14 in Beverly Hills, Calif. Am. "Forever Amber" novelist Kathleen Winsor (b. 1919) on May 26 in New York City. Am. TV journalist David Brinkley (b. 1920) on June 11 in Houston, Tex. Am. actor Jack Elam (b. 1920) on Oct. 20 in Ashland, Ore. (heart failure). British Social Dem. politician Roy Harris Jenkins (b. 1920) on Jan. 5 in East Hendred, Oxfordshire. Am. psychologist Paul Everett Meehl (b. 1920) on Feb. 14. Am. "Philip Boynton in Our Miss Brooks" actor Robert Rockwell (b. 1920) on Jan. 25 in Malibu, Calif. Am. "The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit" novelist Sloan Wilson (b. 1920) on May 25 in Colonial Beach, Va. Am. football player Otto Everett Graham (b. 1921). Am. jazz drummer Don Lamond (b. 1921) on Dec. 23 in Orlando, Fla. Am. cartoonist Bill Mauldin (b. 1921) on Jan. 22. Am. Dem. politician Maury Maverick Jr. (b. 1921) on Jan. 28. English historian John Terraine (b. 1921) on Dec. 28 in London. Am. "The Purple People Eater" singer Sheb Wooley (b. 1921) on Sept. 16 in Nashville, Tenn. (leukemia). Am. film dir.-writer George Axelrod (b. 1922) on June 21 in Los Angeles, Calif. U.S. Rep. (R-N.Y.) (1965-85) and World Bank pres. (1986-91) Barber Benjamin Conable Jr. (b. 1922) on Nov. 30 in Sarasota, Fla. Am. "Please Don't Eat the Dasies" writer Jean Kerr (b. 1922) on Jan. 5 in White Plains, N.Y. (pneumonia). Am. sci-fi writer Hal Clement (b. 1922) on Oct. 29 in Milton, Mass. Am. poet Alan Dugan (b. 1923) on Sept. 3 (pneumonia). French "Boeing-Boeing" playwright Marc Camoletti (b. 1923) on July 18 in Deauville. English computer scientist (inventor of relational databases) Edgar Frank Codd (b. 1923) on Apr. 18 in Williams Island, Fla. (heart failure). Am. playwright Jean Kerr (b. 1923) on Jan. 5 in White Plains, N.Y. (pneumonia). Canadian "The Hockey News" founder Ken McKenzie (b. 1923) on Apr. 9 in Toronto, Ont. Am. country singer Redd Stewart (b. 1923) on Aug. 2 in Louisville, Ky. Am. country singer Rosalie Allen (b. 1924) on Sept. 24 (heart failure). Mauritanian pres. (1960-78) Moktar Ould Daddah (b. 1924) on July 10 in Paris, France. Am. jaz musician Roy S. Harte (b. 1924) on Oct. 26 in Burbank, Calif. Am. jazz saxophonist Herbie Steward (b. 1926) on Aug. 9 in Clearlake, Calif. Am. "Exodust", "Trinity" novelist Leon Uris (b. 1924) on June 21 in Shelter Island, N.Y. Am. country musician Speedy West (b. 1924) on Nov. 15. Ugandan exiled dictator Idi Amin (b. 1925) on Aug. 16 in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Italian composer Luciano Berio (b. 1925) on May 27 in Rome. Am. actress Jeanne Crain (b. 1925) on Dec. 14 in Santa Barbara, Calif. Nigerian Biafran pres. #2 (1970) Gen. Philip Effiong (b. 1925) on Nov. 6 in Aba, Abia. Am. "Tracy Steele in Hawaiian Eye" actor Anthony Eisley (b. 1925) on Jan. 29 in Woodland Hills, Los Angeles, Calif. (heart attack). Bosnian pres. #1 (1990-2000) Alija Izetbegovic (b. 1925) on Oct. 19 in Sarajevo. Czech chemist Drahoslav Lim (b. 1925) on Aug. 22 in San Diego, Calif. Am. celeb Carol Matthau (b. 1925) on July 23. Am. "Singin' in the Rain" actor Donald O'Connor (b. 1925) on Sept. 27 in Woodland Hills, Calif. (heart failure). Am. poet Robert Creeley (b. 1926) on Mar. 30 in Odessa, Tex. (pneumonia). Am. feminist educator Carolyn Heilbrun (b. 1926) on Oct. 9 in New York City (suicide): "Today's shocks are tomorrow's conventions." English "Midnight Cowboy" film dir. John Schlesinger (b. 1926) on July 25 in Palm Springs, Calif. (stroke). Am. Nobel-cheated geneticist Martha Cowles Chase (b. 1927) on Aug. 8 (cancer and dementia). Am. actor Richard Crenna (b. 1927) on Jan. 17. Am. tennis champ Althea Gibson (b. 1927) on Sept. 28 in East Orange, N.J.: "No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helps you." English novelist Nicolas Freeling (b. 1927) on July 20. Canadian singer-actress Gisele MacKenzie (b. 1927) on Sept. 5 (colon cancer). Am. Dem. politician Daniel Patrick Moynihan (b. 1927) on Mar. 26 in New York City. Am. novelist Joan Lowery Nixon (b. 1927) on June 28 in Houston, Tex. (pancreatic cancer). Am. writer-actor George Plimpton (b. 1927) on Sept. 25 in New York City. Am. country singer Dave Dudley (b. 1928) on Dec. 22 near Danbury, Wisc. (heart attack). Am. country singer Don Gibson (b. 1928) on Nov. 17. British historian John Morris Roberts (b. 1928) on May 30 in Roadwater, Somerset. Am. children's TV king Mister Rogers (b. 1928) on Feb. 27; aired the show from 1968-2001 from KQED in Pittsburgh, Penn. - won't you do your neighbor? U.S. Dem. politician Paul Martin Simon (b. 1928) on Dec. 9 in Springfield, Ill. (heart surgery). Am. country singer June Carter Cash (b. 1929) on May 15 in Nashville, Tenn. Am. televangelist Garner Ted Armstrong (b. 1930) on Sept. 12 (pneumonia). Am. diet guru Robert C. Atkins (b. 1930) on Apr. 17 in New York City (epidural hematoma from slip on ice). Am. actress Kathie Browne (b. 1930) on Apr. 8 in Beverly Hills, Calif. Central African Repub. (CAR) pres. #1 (1960-6) and pres. #3 (1979-81) David Dacko (b. 1930) on Nov. 20 in Yaounde, Cameroon. Am. jazz flautist Herbie Mann (b. 1930) on July 1 (prostate cancer). Am. historian Robin W. Winks (b. 1930) on Apr. 7 in New Haven, Conn. Am. clarinetist Henry Cuesta (b. 1931) on Dec. 17 in Sherman Oaks, Calif. (cancer). Am. jockey Willie Shoemaker (b. 1931) on Oct. 12; 8,833 career victories in 40,350 races. Australian composer Malcolm Williamson (b. 1931) on Mar. 2 in Cambridge, England. Canadian CanWest Global Communications Corp. founder Israel Harold Asper (b. 1932) on Oct. 7 in Winnepeg, Man. Am. "A Boy Called Sue" singer Johnny Cash (b. 1932) on Sept. 12 in Nashville, Tenn. (diabetes). Am. novelist-screenwriter John Gregory Dunne (b. 1932) on Dec. 30 in Manhattan, N.Y. (heart attack). Am.-born British philanthropist Sir John Paul Getty II (b. 1932) on Apr. 17 in London; son of Jean Paul Getty Sr. (1892-1976). Am. actor Gordon Jump (b. 1932) on Sept. 22 in Los Angeles, Calif. Am. "Funny Face" supermodel-actress Suzy Parker (b. 1932) on May 3 in Montecito, Calif. German actor Horst Buccholz (b. 1933) on Mar. 3 in Berlin. English actor Don Estelle (b. 1933) on Aug. 2 in Rochdale. Am. "Selena Cross in Peyton Place" actress Hope Lange (b. 1933) on Dec. 19 in Santa Monica, Calif. (ischemic colitis). Am. "Miss Hannigan in Annie" actress-singer Dorothy Loudon (b. 1933) on Nov. 15 in New York City (cancer). Soviet cosmonaut Oleg Grigoryevich Makarov (b. 1933) on May 28 in Moscow. Am. short story writer Leonard Michaels (b. 1933) on May 10. Am. "To be Young, Gifted and Black" singer-pianist Nina Simone (b. 1933) on Apr. 21 in Carry-le-Rouet, France. English "Zorba the Greek" actor Alan Bates (b. 1934) on Dec. 27 in London. Am. singer-songwriter Skip Battin (b. 1934) on July 6 in Salem, Ore. (Alzheimer's). Am. "I'm Not Rappaport" playwright Herb Gardner (b. 1934) on Sept. 25 in Manhattan, N.Y. (lung disease). Am. playwright-dir. Louis LaRusso II (b. 1935) on Feb. 22 in Hoboken, N.J. (bladder cancer). Palestinian-born Am. scholar Edward Said (b. 1935) on Sept. 25 in New York City (leukemia). Am.-born Canadian novelist Carol Shields (b. 1935) on July 16 in Victoria, B.C. (cancer). Zimbabwe pres. #1 (1980-7) Canaan Banana (b. 1936) on Nov. 10 in London, England. Am. playwright Paul Zindel (b. 1936) on Mar. 27 (lung cancer). Am. "Wall Street Journal" editorial page ed. (1972-2002) Robert Leroy Bartley (b. 1937) on Dec. 10 (cancer): receives the Pres. Medal of Freedome one week before his death: "In general, 'the market' is smarter than the smartest of its individual participants." Italian opera tenor Franco Bonisolli (b. 1937) on Oct. 20 in Vienna, Austria. Am. "Miracle on Ice" hockey player-coach Herb Brooks (b. 1937) on Aug. 11 near Forest Lake, Minn. (car accident). English musician-songwriter-producer Ian Samwell (b. 1937) on Apr. 13 in Sacramento, Calif. Am. legal scholar John Hart Ely (b. 1938) on Oct. 25 in Miami, Fla. (cancer). English "The Searchers" bassist Tony Jackson (b. 1938) on Aug. 18 in Nottingham (alcoholism). English record producer Mickie Most (b. 1938) on May 30 in London (mesothelioma); leaves a Ł50M fortune. Canadian poet John Newlove (b. 1938). Am. hall-of-fame bowler Beverly Ann Ortner (b. 1938) on Dec. 26 in Tucson, Ariz. (cancer). Am. "Take This Job and Shove It" singer Johnny Paycheck (b. 1938) on Feb. 19 in Nashville, Ill. Am. actress Kathie Browne (b. 1939) in Apr. in Beverly Hills, Calif. Am. writer-poet Richard Ward Morris (b. 1939) on Aug. 28. Am. computer entrepreneur Adam Osborne (b. 1939) on Mar. 18 in Kodaikanal, India. Am. White House press secy. (1969-74) Ronald Ziegler (b. 1939) on Feb. 10 in Coronado Shores, Calif. (heart attack). Am. basketball player-coach Dave DeBusschere (b. 1940) on May 14 in New York City. English actor-singer Adam Faith (b. 1940) on Mar. 8 in Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire; last words: "Channel Five is all shit, isn't it? Christ, the crap they put on there. It's a waste of space." Am. "Righteous Brothers" singer Bobby Hatfield (b. 1940) on Nov. 5 in Kalamazoo, Mich. (cocaine OD). Am. hall-of-fame bowler Don Johnson (b. 1940) on May 3 in North Las Vegas, Nev. (heart attack). Am. novelist James Welch (b. 1940) on Aug. 4 in Missoula, Mont. English "Blowup" actor David Hemmings (b. 1941) on Dec. 3 in Bucharest, Romania (heart attack). Russian high jumper Valeri Brumel (b. 1942) on Jan. 26. English "Humble Pie" rock bassist Greg Ridley (b. 1942) on No. 19 in Alicante, Spain (pneumonia). Am. "War" singer Edwin Starr (b. 1942) on Apr. 2 in Detroit, Mich. Am. atty. Robert Kardashian (b. 1944) on Sept. 30 in Los Angeles, Calif. (esophageal cancer). Am. "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" singer Barry White (b. 1944) on July 4 in Los Angeles, Calif. (kidney failure). Am. all-star baseball player Bobby Bonds (b. 1946) on Aug. 23. Am. soul singer Arthur Conley (b. 1946) on Nov. 17 in Ruurlo, Netherlands (cancer). Am. rocker Warren Zevon (b. 1947) on Sept. 7 in Los Angeles, Calif. Am. film composer Michael Kamen (b. 1948) on Nov. 18 in London, England (heart attack). Am. "Three's Company" actor John Ritter (b. 1948) on Sept. 11 in Burbank, Calif. (aortic dissection). Am. actress Lynne Thigpen (b. 1948) on Mar. 12 in Marina del Rey, Calif. English-born Australian "Bee Gees" singer Maurice Gibb (b. 1949) on Jan. 12 in Miami, Fla. (emergency surgery for an intestinal blockage); brothers Barry (1946-) and Robin (1949-) don't perform again until Feb. 18, 2006. English "Addicted to Love" singer Robert Allen Palmer (b. 1949) on Sept. 26 in Paris (heart attack). Am. "Del in The Green Mile" actor Michael Jeter (b. 1952) on Mar. 30 in Los Angeles, Calif. (epileptic seizure). Am. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers musician Howie Epstein (b. 1955) on Feb. 23 in Santa Fe, N.M. (drug use complications). Am. musician Elliott Smith (b. 1969) on Oct. 23 in Los Angeles, Calif.