The Great Track of Time and Conspiracy Theories
By T.L. Winslow (TLW), the Historyscoper™
© Copyright by T.L. Winslow. All Rights Reserved.
Original Pub. Date: Sept. 11, 2001. Last Update: Feb. 20, 2017.
Get your kicks on Route 666? Even before the Net, people were being tracked by spyware? People bet on me to lose, and lose big? How will 666 finally be calculated, and on what? European history rocks because it's chock-full of conspiracy theories (who said nuts?), all claiming that the surface history is a coverup for a sinister plot to rule the world, usually by the Devil, but also by the Jews, the Illuminati, the cult of the day, red-haired babes, anything that existed at the dawn of history, or could have hatched the conspiracy. It would all be funny if it weren't so what, tragic? It's five o'clock somewhere?
Take Roman dictator Julius Caesar (-100 to -44), a real man of the people. Was he assassinated by a Jewish plot to get even for the takeover of Judea by Pompey, and the Christ thang was really a front for a Jewish plot to overthrow the Roman Empire, which turned into an insidious enervating mental virus that literally made them worship a fairy-tale Jew to get even after the Romans figured them out and wiped them out in Rome then wiped out their main base in Jerusalem, along with their Jewish Temple, without which their religion doesn't work? If so, then did it work a little too well, and backfire on them when Roman emperor Constantine I the Great (272-337) made Christianity its official religion at the Council of Nicea in 325 C.E., and turned a weakness into a strength, pumping it full of pagan crap to make sure everybody would feel at home and slam the whole can?
So does that mean the Protestants are right and the Catholic Church is Satan's Front, trotting out a marionette on strings and calling it the Savior, while the real Jesus weeps? Nightingale, sing us a song. Was Islam another Jewish plot to correct that mistake and overthrow the Christianized Roman Empire, which also backfired, because, like always, the Jew puppetmasters are too few numerically to control the masses for long? My husband done knocked me up?
Take madass Arab warlord prophet Muhammad (570-632). After thumbing through his endless biographies, clearly, he had too much to do. Surely he was a dummy corporation front for a hidden group of scholars who wanted to take over the world with a new book? Just like with Lee Harvey Oswald, he just was shot one day on world TV right in the police station, and the official story is there was no conspiracy, just obey your caliph or we'll cut off your head, read it right here. Maybe it was the Jews again, hiding behind Muhammad and revising their own books, hoping that the third edition is the charm, your secret's safe with me, I'll be grand vizier, only to see it backfire again as the Muslims turned on them too, causing them to create the Sunni-Shiite split to be able to handle the leash by turning the dogs against each other when needed, check Wolf.com.
The Muslim invasion of Spain in 711, wasn't that a plot by the Jews to give them a safe country in Working Class Zero Europe? Why at every key nexus in world history are there them Pesky Jews nearby making change? Or is it all a coincidence, since Jews are just trying to survive, and flock to what they think are the quiet spots, only to be caught at the wrong place at the wrong time? Pass the gefilte fish. What about Charlemagne (742-814)? He reversed centuries of tradition of love-mongering persecuted Christians sending missionaries to try and persuade pagans to accept Christ, and began the Sword and Cross program of forced conversions, becoming quite successful, in fact so successful that pope (795-816) Leo III (-816) crowned him the new Holy Roman Emperor on Christmas Day of 800. Was this the result of the Muslim forced conversion technique infecting Christendom, which, if it was originally invented by the Jews to inflict Islam on Christians, ended up backfiring as they began using it on the Jews in the Spanish lands they reclaimed from the Muslims? Therefore, the infamous Inquisition, founded in 12th cent. France, made sense, since many so-called Christians were really Crying Games, who were secretly practicing Judaism or paganism, and it made sense to inquire whether the Sword and Cross method had really worked by questioning them under torture to make them confess? Hey, they're guilty or they wouldn't be questioned, so if they confess under torture, it's their own fault for making them go that far. It's a story that went on day after day, year after year, doing the Lord's work, right? Check out that charred skeleton.
You're waiting for someone whose will tell you what's real? Man has evolved to the point where he no longer needs to stand in line to buy tickets? What about the Crusades starting in 1095, which led to the bloody capture of Jerusalem in 1099 by Godfrey de Bouillon (1060-1100), only to have the Muslims recapture it, only to have them regroup and take it again, back and forth for two centuries, only to see the Christians kicked out permanently until they won World War I, by which time they weren't so monolithically Christian anymore? Were they the Midas Touch, an attempt by the Jews to get back the Holy Land using dumb Christian muscle after they helped William I the Conqueror (1027-87) take England from the Saxons in 1066 and had the rear covered?
Conspiracy theorists groove on the Knights Templar. After all, didn't they openly claim to be based in the Jewish Temple of Solomon (what was left of it, the Wailing Wall), captured in the First Crusade in 1099, therefore must really be Jewish double agents? When the Crusades fizzled and there they were, owning all the banks and worshipping Baphomet (Muhammad? Baal?) and getting caught calling Jesus just a man, just like, ahem, Jews would, why wouldn't the greedy pope (1305-14) Clement V (1264-1314) and handsome but greedy French king Philip IV the Fair (1268-1314) want to close ranks and get them all arrested on Friday the Thirteenth of October, 1307 so they could steal all their ill-gotten gains under guise of law with the 14th century RICO Act? Too bad, the treasure was never recovered, but they tried didn't they? There they are, proud of the house they built, get it? The Jewish wealth goes way back before 1095. When I grow up I want to be like you, eat all my food and be as tall as you are?
Did the Templar remnant move to Scotland with their loot and help maintenance man Robert I the Bruce (1274-1329) save it from Jew-hating high maintenance woman, Longshanks' son Edward II (1284-1327) to establish a safe base and give them time to think, then start the Great Plague of 1347 to get even with them all, crawling back into the Church during the confusion and beginning again, creating the Renaissance as a diversion via their Muslim connections, billions of stars, and a black hole swallowing everything?
The Shroud of Turin (Christ), give me a job, I got all the tools and can satisfy? Why did it suddenly appear out of nowhere in 1353 in the hands of a probable 75-cent Bambino Burger Templar, the mysterious Count Geoffrroi de Charny (1300-56)? Was this really an image of the Antichrist, the coming Son of Lucifer, inside out and upside down, that they palmed off as the ultimate holy relic so the Church itself would guard it for them, the real Baphomet, the Jew Stu, your world is wireless, our world is wireless? If so, Mission: Accomplished.
Christopher Colombus (1451-1506), another baby doll beauty queen for C-sectionists. Was he a front for yet another Jewish plot to find an escape route from Europe after the Muslims were kicked out of Spain in 1491, only it worked out better than even they had planned, and when they found that the world had another half, they had to import millions of dumb white Christians to conquer the New World so they could use it as the base for their dreamed-of One World Order? And is the Earth really a sphere floating in relativistic space, or is that another Jewish put-on, and the world is flat, ask the film crew for the Apollo Film Festival.
But then, all my friends say, what exactly is a Jew, anyway, that that that all those centuries go by and they still believe in da cause? Who can keep a conspiracy going that long and not be an immortal vampire wolf? That's right, Dracula must be yet another Jewish conspiracy, and Vlad III the Impaler (1431-76) another dummy corporation. Do I look like a carrot? Cheer up baby, sunset's in. Tell me what I say, baby I wanna know? Two thumbs way up for crazy love?
Or is the real plot more fundamental, male supremacy over women, starting with the expulsion of Mary Milk of Magnesia Magdalene by Jesus' disciples, or, further back, the male takeover of all thought after Atlantis sunk and Tegeena the Warrior Priestess muffed up, losing her mammoths to the big melt and creating the Pirates of the Caribbean? Mom, should I marry Jane, Cloey, or Jill? I'm 21 and never ate a chicken or had some higher education.
Old Chicago, Moses himself. Who started the whole Bible thang, and why, who benefitted, and who had the power to cover it up? The basis of all Jewish propaganda, was he a dummy corporation for a sinister plot to foist Jewish thinking on the Baal-worshipping world via a one-god-in-a-or-is-a-book con game and stop people from having fun by keeping their noses buried, their necks bobbing, and their dongs circum'd, excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable and take a twisty-turny ride down the rip curl? The biggest lesson I learned from history is that every founding religious book needs a book factory behind it, a bunch of scholars with access to a good library, and that the purported author or authors are almost always dummy corporations for their conspiracy, since it's only obvious that scholars pouring over books with quill in hand can't be out anywhere doing anything else, and need a camouflage so they don't get run over by the existing authorities, which is the most maddening part, because they try to make sure that there's no tracks to place them on the Great Track of Time, and find it all too easy to pull it off.
And how 'bout them Freemasons, them wild-eyed boys with a trowel in hand, which the American Founding Fathers signed up with bigtime? Are they really the Illuminati in disguise? Did they plan the Country Boy American Revolution of 1775-83, the French Revolution of 1789-99, the Revolutions of 1848, the U.S. Civil War of 1861-5, the Russian Revolution of 1917, and both World Wars? Got gas on your mind? Watch full-length episodes online, only ten zlotys with discount.
How about the assassination of Lincoln in a Ford, surely that was a plot by the Vatican to get even for supporting their arch-enemy, pope-hating Giuseppe Garibaldi (1807-82)? Or another Jewish plot after he supported their puppet Garibaldi like a good goy, but then made noises about sending all twenty models of blacks back to Africa? After all, didn't Jews run both sides in the U.S. Civil War at the purse-string level to make stupid whitey self-destruct and unleash the ape man negro to amalgamate the races into a perfect beta unirace that they could rule by deception forever using movie star puppet politician fronts? Ask our new president Fred Dalton Thompson (1942-2015)? Surely the Book of Mormon, by Elvis clone Joseph Smith Jr. (1805-44) is an obvious and late white supremacist Bible clone by American wanna-be-Jew polygamy pikers, and thus doomed?
How could I forget to mention England's A-game, William Shakespeare (1564-1616), another obvious dummy corporation for a plot to make English the world language even though it's the worst language ever made? The scum rises to the top yet again? The perfect kitchen sink language for an amalgamated microwavable world brown rice?
Oh yes, let's follow the green tea. The U.S. Income Tax, the Federal Reserve, the Council on Foreign Relations, all building up to the Great Depression, engineered by a One World Government conspiracy run by Jews and/or Illuminati, nothing that's formal, nothing that's normal, more mattress less money, did anybody mention if-it-stops-here-you-win Nathan Mayer Rothschild (1777-1836), John Davison Rockefeller (1839-1937), and Col. Edward Mandell House (1858-1938)?
But history will ultimately absolve me, pass the gefilte fish? Maybe Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) was the front for yet another Jewish plot, and was really Jewish, hoping to lead Europe into destroying itself so that the real Jewish power base, America, could become boss and strongarm a resurrected state of Israel into the morbibund Westernized Muslim world, seven centuries after kicking Crusader can, with the Soviet Union, founded by crypto-Jew Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov Lenin (1870-1924) really another Jewish puppet, not America's mortal foe, but actually the Jews' alternate base that they play off for a stage diversion, as proved by its instant self-destruction in 1989 when it served their purpose? Yes, Jerusalem as the world capital, no non-Jews allowed, my perfect fantasy, realize that you love yourself more than you can ever love me?
But the Holocaust, Auschwitz, more of this, less of this, wow wow? Maybe that was a hoax created by the Jews after they got Europe to self-destruct in WWII, while they secretly evacuated hordes of undocumented refugees to safety, to make sure that what's left of the White Old World was guilt-tripped into supporting the U.S.-backed Bandit State of Israel and shut their pie holes? Like you'll ever get rid of your shadow, Frank, you'll never get rid of me?
For equal time, let's not forget the modern anti-hi-tech conspiracy, run by the hidden Dream Bath Fourth Reich under the Green label, keeping us from building nuclear power plants for the zooming non-white world population by using the environment as a political sacred cow and pushing the Global Warming Hoax until they can perfect cloning and mass-produce some new Hitlers and Nazi supersoldiers based on clones of Ahnuld (Arnold Schwarzenegger) (1947-) using their own nuclear power plants, then exterminate the mixed mud races, Tiger Woods (1975-) and all, with lab-produced diseases starting with HIV? Or maybe the mixed mud will be allowed to survive, and only pure mud exterminated, ask the person who does your pedicare.
Not that the white supremacist conspiracy isn't universal and above politics, since after all, it's everybody's secret thang, and even non-whites don't question that the future must ultimately come out white, despite who the white-haves and white-have-nots are now, as it's always good if your kids are whiter than you, you are the love of my life, right?
Of course, East is East and West is West, and nobody can ever figure China out, especially when red is lucky to them and they love the Dragon? But they do act a whole lot like yellow slant-eyed, er, Jews?
How about closer to CT Home, the assassination of JFK in a Ford Lincoln, the best little whorehouse in Texas? Was Oswald a dummy corporation for Kennedy's enemies in his own government, the Military-Industrial Complex Wolf, smoke in its hair, straw everywhere, who staged a coup d'etat with LBJ waiting in the wings? Who had the power to do it, who benefitted, who had the power to cover it up? Did you order the Code Red, colonel? You're damn right I did, and now I'm going to go play golf. You're not going anywhere, colonel, arrest the colonel. What is this? Am I under arrest for a crime? I'm above the constitution, let me out of here. Guard the colonel. You're picking on the wrong Marine. I'll puke in your dead skull. And all before the movie hit theaters. What a setup, to be the one who did it, then running the official investigation that proclaims that a dead dumb lucky Marine did it all by himself? Play the M:I Theme. And all my friends say I started seeing double when you walked in? Speaking of Moon walking, the jury is still out on the Apollo Moon landings. Just how did they penetrate the lethal Van Allen Radiation Belts, and how did they have enough fuel, you're a bowling alley kind of girl not a restaurant type of girl.
And Mary Baker Eddy (1821-1910) and her Christian Science, let's steal Jesus' miracle thunder and seek first the kingdom of God, big thud? And L. Ron Hubbard (1911-86) and Scientology, an in-your-face self-parody to cheat the IRS on Mission: Impossible book royalties? You see, you don't need Christ, it's these engram thingies in your mind that are responsible for all your lifely problems, and all Christ was was a man who was free of all his engrams. But where are they, I got my gun right here? Catch, baby. You can't actually find them without paying us, and after we erase them in our office with a phoney baloney machine and hand you a printout we cash the check before you leave? And forget church, there's nothing left to put in the plate anyway, we're money vampires and we walk alone, we walk alone? But if you ain't got engrams, and you are free and can achieve anything, why waste your time in this scam when you could see skies of blue at Tivoli Gardens and X-City, invent a bathroom we could play baseball in? Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, John Travolta, John Travolta. Next?
Let's not forget the aliens from outer space conspiracy and the FBI X-Files, the Planet Nibiru, and Saurco? That's so silly, the Condon Report and Carl Sagan (1934-96). Gene Roddenberry (1921-96) and his Star Trek, that's the real deal, the hope of a future world where we're all beyond prejudices and everybody's liberal and Jewish. Is that yet another Jewish conspiracy to destroy the remaining Christian foundations of White America by getting to the college kids, who are living on student loans, like killing their parents twice? Warp speed and sound effects in the vacuum of outer space, right. Just try not to get laid at a Trekkie convention? Surely they gave their hand away right before, with the Daniel Boone show? Daniel Boone's half-white but smarter-than-everybody Oxford-educated feather-wearing Cherokee sidekick Mingo is really the son of Jewish immigrants, as is Captain Kirk's half-white human but smarter-than-everybody alien sidekick Spock, and Kirk himself just happens to be a kiss to build a dream on cute Jew?
Maybe it's them Armageddon-pushing door-knocking Jehovah's Witnesses, founded by Freemason Charles Taze Russell (1852-1916) who are the real conspiracy under our noses? When somebody gets sucked up into that, you never see them again, and if you do, you slam the door in their face, shame on me. Or maybe you took the free Bible course, and the JWs are right, the true conspiracy is not human? Is the ultimate conspiracy that the game was right out of the box all along, the Bible is absolutely true, there really was an Adam and Eve and Serpent, there really is a Creator and moral laws and sin, and the lying multi-headed monster Satan has really been running all governments behind the scenes by corrupting those at the top, then playing them off against each other for his own benefit, and is even now closing in with his final program of creating a One World Government which openly worships him as Lucifer, the God of Light, and exterminates all remaining believers in the Invisible True God, ending the need for a cover story, despite God being close to each of us all along, and his well-advertised Jig-Is-Up Armageddon no fairy tale, like the JWs said, right out of the box all along? You're in violation of your face. I'm really shaking in my boots. Yah, I wanna play hardball.
Who asked to be born anyway? I guess life was fine until I came around. The switch is on? The music is about to start, let's start new music, we'll make all the late spots and be home before four. The World: always different, always a blast? I'll see you Wednesday at church? The bunny keeps bouncing on the ever-arriving horizon of time.