TLW's Religious Cultscope™ (Religious Cult Historyscope)
By T.L. Winslow (TLW), the Historyscoper™
© Copyright by T.L. Winslow. All Rights Reserved.
Original Pub. Date: Apr. 21, 2016. Last Update: Mar. 28, 2017.
Westerners are not only known as history ignoramuses, but double dumbass history ignoramuses when it comes to religious cult history. Since I'm the one-and-only Historyscoper (tm), let me quickly bring you up to speed before you dive into my Master Historyscope.
On Feb. 15, 1805 George (Johann George) Rapp (1757-1847) and his Rappists (Rappites) (Harmonists) (Harmonites) of Iptingen, Germany found the Harmony Society in Butler County, Penn., which soon grows to a pop. of 800 and becomes highly profitable, causing them to sell it at a 10x profit in 1814 when they move to Indiana - lame white rapper jokes here?
I'll buy that for a buck, yuk yuk? On Sept. 22, 1827 everhard 22-y.-o. Sharon, Vt.-born blonde Elvis lookalike Joseph Smith Jr. (1805-44) (known for being "a great babbler, credulous, not especially industrious, a money digger, prone to the miraculous and withal a little given to difficulties with neighbors and petty law suits", plus a "glass-looker", which gets him into criminal trouble), who goes on treasure hunts around the area allegedly digs up ding-dong magic golden plates (8 in. x 6 in. x 6 in. = 200 lb.?) inscribed with "Reformed Egyptian Text" near his farm in Palmyra in W N.Y., after his 1819 First Vision, followed by an 1823 appearance of angel Moroni, who, having a pipeline to God had told him the true history of the American continent, how it was first colonized by the Lost Tribes of the Jews, then visited by fictional Bible figures incl. Jesus Christ, who gave them the true religion, after which there was a dreadful apostasy, causing their skin to darken as punishment (creating the Indians), and how now that his pure whiteness has arrived, he will become head of the one true, new, and improved church and get all the worshipful, adoring white poontang he can shake his fork at as compensation, making everybody look like snack-and-seal Elvis?; of course, he has to endure a get-the-odors-out 4-year college-free worthiness quest before being permitted to graduate into the big leagues of come-hungry-leave-happy prophetdom?; on Dec. 12, 1912 the New York Times pub. the article Museum Walls Proclaim Fraud of Mormon Prophet, claiming that Joseph Smith couldn't really translate hierglyphics but just made translations up out of his imagination; "Within three months the only one of these sacred writings in which the test of scholarship could be applied has been submitted to such a test and its authenticity has been destroyed completely." In 2016 the Mormon Church releases the first photos of the magic stone allegedly used by Smith to translate the sacred text, a brown egg-sized rock - and it won't talk?
When does a fashion statement make a bank statement? On Oct. 24, 1844 the Millerites, followers of Pittsfield, Mass.-born Baptist preacher William Miller (1782-1849) begin to face the Great Disappointment of 1844 when the 2,300 Year-Days of Daniel 8:14 don't jive like they thought, and the world doesn't end with the Second Coming of Christ; never fear, in Dec. Maine-born Ellen Gould White (1827-1915) begins having the first of 2K personal visions, causing the true believers to regroup and form the Seventh-Day Adventists, who claim that Christ didn't make his Second Coming because he entered the Holy of Holies in the Heavenly Sanctuary to begin the Investigative Judgment, and that they should worship on Saturday not pagan Sunday - Sunday didn't work so why not go back to the Jewish sabbath?
Stay tuned for scenes from one life to live? The year 1874 marks the year in which Christ's Second Presence (Second Advent) is due, according to Allegheny, Penn.-born Pastor Charles Taze Russell (1852-1916), author of the 7-vol. Studies in the Scriptures, 1879 founder of The Watchtower mag., and 1871 founder of the Internat. Bible Students, who in 1931 change their name to Jehovah's Witnesses, and go on to recruit millions of followers, incl. some celebs; when a Bible-based Armageddon prediction goes wrong, there is always a shakeup in the org., after which they regroup and make new predictions, because after all, the Bible is still telling them that there will be one; luckily by the 1980s they officially give up Big A predictions, claiming that only God knows the exact time. On Oct. 31, 1916 Charles Taze Russell (b. 1852) dies in Pampa, Tex., and his org. the Watch Tower Society is taken over by self-proclaimed Mo. "Judge" Joseph Franklin Rutherford (1869-1942), who goes on to mount his "millions living now will never die" campaign, claiming that Armageddon will come in 1925, causing his followers to sell their homes and live in their cars travelling around to spread the urgent message while trying to avoid either marrying or having children; meanwhile the few who only wanted to study the Bible and think for themselves and not be dictated what to believe splinter off into the Bible Students org., which by the end of the cent. only has 10K members vs. 6M for the Jehovah's Witnesses.
On July 4, 1930 travelling salesman (a New Zealander of half-Indian descent, who claims to be born in Mecca?) Wallace Dodd Fard (1893-?) forms the Lost-Found Nation of Islam in the Wilderness of North America in Detroit, Mich., with the goal of resurrecting the spiritual, mental, social, and economic condition of Am. blacks, claiming that they were history ignoramuses about their true African history, which was Muslim, and that they are the lost ancient tribe of Shabazz that goes back 66T years, and that a renegade black scientist named Yakub on the island of Patmos created the pesky white race 6K years ago as a test for the black master race, who are a divine race created by Allah; he mysteriously disappears during summer 1934, and Sandersville, Ga.-born Elijah Muhammad (Elijah Robert Poole) (1897-1975) becomes the new leader on Nov. 22, moving to Chicago, Ill. in 1932, and in 1972 establishing Temple Number Two (Mosque Maryam) as the Nation of Islam HQ - shine yo' shoes, bazz?
It's so whacko it won't go away, but thank Gawd I'm a country boy? In 1930 the Davidians (Davidian Seventh Day Adventists) (AKA The Shepherd's Rod), founded by Bulgarian-born Victor Tasho Houteff (1885-1955) split off from the Seventh Day Adventist Church; in 1955 the Branch Davidians (AKA The Branch) spit, er, split off from them; on Feb. 28, 1993 the 51-day 1993 Waco Siege begins when a gun battle erupts at the Branch Davidian Compound in Mount Carmel Center in Elk (9 mi. ENE of Waco), Tex. when ATF agents try (in SWAT gear) to serve trumped-up warrants in a master plan to shut them down and arrest 33-y.-o. high school dropout, failed rock guitarist and Jesus Christ messiah wannabe leader David Koresh (Vernon Wayne Howell) (b. 1959) of the Branch Davidians (a disavowed sect of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church), but catch hot lead instead, causing four agents and six Davidians to be killed, and one ATF agent in particular to be caught looking bad trapped on a roof while the cultists use him for target practice, causing a standoff led by the FBI; on Apr. 19 armored vehicles tear large holes in the compound and spray tear gas for several hours, and at about noon a fire breaks out throughout the compound, which burns down in 30 min., killing all 77 members of the cult, incl. many children; after fingers are pointed both ways, the govt. investigates and clears itself in Oct., claiming that fanatical cult members started the fire in an effort to bring on Armageddon; on Sept. 30 a U.S. Dept. of Justice Report on Waco criticizes the ATF for mishandling the initial raid; white supremacists have a new legend to justify hatred of the U.S. govt.; U.S. atty. gen. Janet Reno takes responsibility for the decision to attack the compound, and in 1999 it is revealed that despite FBI denials, pyrotechnic gas grenades had been used in the siege; an investigation in 2000 by former Mo. Repub. Sen. John Danforth clears the Justice Dept. of wrongdoing, and a Waco civil jury decides for the govt. in a wrongful death lawsuit brought by the survivors.
On May 1, 1954 wannabe messiah Rev. Sun Myung Moon (Mun Seon-myeong) (Mun Yong-myeong) (1920-2012) founds the Unification Church (Family Federation for World Peace and Unification) (Holy Spirit Assoc. for the Unification of World Christianity in Seoul, South Korea, with its textbook "The Divine Principle" explaining that God is both Creator and Heavenly Parent, not Father, combining masculine and feminine in true love, going on to perform mass male-female marriages and spread worldwide, with most members in Korea, Japan, and Philippines; in 1977 the U.S. Congress investigates it for its involvement in South Korean politics; in 1982 Moon is convicted in the U.S. of income tax fraud; meanwhile critics slam it for heretical and anti-Semitic views, and brainwashing of "Moonies".
In 1968 the Children of God (later the Family Internat.) Christian cult is founded in Huntington Beach, Calif. by new Messiah David Brandt Berg (1919-94), who calls himself Moses David, starting the new evangelism method of "Flirty Fishing" in 1974, where members engage in religious prostitution, incl. child members; to combat it, the anti-COG group Freecog (Free the Children of God) is formed in 1971, becoming the first anti-cult movement in the U.S.
On Nov. 18, 1978 (Sat.) after arriving to investigate complaints of mistreatment of relatives, and being told by 20 members that they want to leave, then accompanying him to Port Kaituma Airport, anti-cult crusading Calif. Rep. Leo Joseph Ryan Jr. (b. 1925) (D-Calif.) and four others are killed in Jonestown, Guyana by Larry Layton and three other members of Rev. Jim Jones' Peoples Temple of the Disciples of Christ (founded 1955), making Ryan the first U.S. congressman killed in the line of duty (until ?); the killings are followed by the Jonestown Massacre, a night of mass murder-suicide by 911 cult members, becoming the worst religious mayhem since John of Leiden's cult in 1535; Jones kills himself, and only 32 members escape, incl. their controversial atty. Mark Lane (1947-); 75% of church members are black, a majority of them women who bought his promise of a black paradise sans racial prejudice, segregation, and economic inequality; the publicity hurts sales of Kool-Aid, even though a cheaper unsweetened brand called Flavor Aid (first marketed in 1929) might have been used instead of or as well; the Cult Awareness Network (CAN) is founded to deprogram its members; too bad, in 1996 the Church of Scientology buys it in bankruptcy court - making its name an oxymoron?
In Apr. 1990 the Aum Shinrikyo doomsday cult of Japan (founded in 1984) sends three trucks into C Tokyo to spray poisonous botulin mists, then attacks U.S. bases at Yokohama and Yokosuka; when the botulin does not work the cult turns to anthrax. On Jan. 17, 1995 (6:45 a.m.) the 6.9 Great Hanshin (Kobe) Earthquake devastates beef capital Kobe in W Japan, killing 5,502-6,434, injuring 36,896-43,792, and leaving 251K-310K homeless, becoming the largest death toll from an earthquake in Japan since 1923; Aum Shinrikyo cult founder Shoko Asahara (Chizuo Matsumoto) (1955-) predicted the earthquake on Jan. 8, and blames it on U.S. earthquake weapon technology, causing the cult to soon be destroyed, along with the Branch Davidians, who hacked into U.S. defense files? On Mar. 20, 1995 (a.m.) members of the Aum Shinrikyo doomsday cult in Japan release sarin nerve gas on the Tokyo Subway during morning rush hour, killing 12 and causing 5.5K to be hospitalized; on Mar. 22 police raid the sect's training compound and find equipment and chemicals for making the gas; on May 16 Sorry Ass, er, Shoko Asahara (1955-) the leader of the cult is arrested and charged with organizing the attack; the group never confesses, claiming that renegade members carried out attacks secretly. On Apr. 24, 1996 the Japanese "Trial of the Century" of Aum Shinrikyo sect founder Shoko Asahara for masterminding the 1995 Tokyo subway gas attack opens; he claims to be Christ; after being found guilty on 13 of 17 charges, he is sentenced to be hanged on Feb. 27, 2004.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the greatest star of all? On Mar. 26, 1997 as the approach of Comet Hale-Bopp stirs the world's imagination (incl. a rash of Hollywood movies, all making money from Millennium Fever), police discover the Heaven's Gate cult mass suicide in San Diego, Calif. via phenolbarbitol, vodka, and plastic bags on their heads; these 39 castrated web designers (18 women, 21 men) (all dressed alike, with close-cropped hair), led by zany Spur, Tex.-born Marshall Herff "Bo" "Do" Applewhite Jr. (b. 1931) believed that their spirits will meet ETs in the comet after leaving their "vehicles"; they made their dough by designing Web sites under the name Higher Source, and ran their own cool Heaven's Gate Web Site.