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What Is A Historyscope?

Westerners are not only known as history ignoramuses, but double dumbass history ignoramuses when it comes to science and technology history. Since I'm the one-and-only Historyscoper (tm), let me quickly bring you up to speed before you dive into my Historyscopes.

In this Information Age when kids are handed iPads and iTablets while traveling cross-country in a jumbo jet, it's hard to imagine how many myriads of tireless workers and dozens of long centuries it took to scale the present heights, and how philosophy and religion aided and hindered progress, not to mention the role of geography, climate, culture, political system, and sheer luck. While modern global Big Science has grown so arrogant that its high priests regularly claim to see back to the moment of Creation, real historyscopers strive mightily just to scope back a few thousand years trying to picture the great ascent from Zero on Da Brain to today's speeding Gigabrain Train, I sometimes think I wanna get off.

I'll skip most of the jazz from the Dawn of Time to 4000 B.C.E. since it's not really history it's the output of Science.

I must have a hole in my head, but one thing stands out. About 5,000 B.C.E. the first known trepanation operations are carried out in Ensisheim, Alsace, France. About 4,900 B.C.E. the first known surgery is an amputation operation on the left forearm of an elderly man in Buthiers-Boulancort (40 mi. S of modern-day Paris), France, complete with anesthesia and aseptic conditions.

In -4000 world pop.: 7M, beginning to double every thousand years; pop. of India: 1M. -4000 is the date of Creation according to Sir Isaac Newton. In -4000 the Neolithic Period ends, and the Chalcolithic Period begins (ends -3500). In -4000 the sea level, which has been rising since the end of the Ice Age reaches modern-day levels; Mesopotamia develops a rich, fertile delta, and the Near East becomes a wet warm Eden; the Saharan grasslands turn to desert. In -4000 city-states begin to rise along the banks of the leisurely Euphrates River (Persian "ufratu" = good to cross over, Sumerian for fruitful) and swift Tigris River (Persian "tigra" = pointed, Sumerian "idigna" = swift river), and along the Nile River in Egypt; the Egyptians (Remetch, meaning "people") enjoy a lack of natural enemies, giving them the longest period of political stability in human history; the Nile is neat because it not only floods once a year and leaves a couple of miles of fertile silt on each bank, but it flows from S to N while the wind always blows from N to S because of the Mediterranean Sea, so that you can sail S and then turn around and float back N with the current. In -4000 the long-headed (dolichocephalic) super-tall fair-skinned blonde-blue Amorites from Europe or possibly the Arabian Peninsula, having a unique agglutinative language migrate to S Mesopotamia and intermarry with the pop. of the old city-states there, founding the Uruk Culture in Sumer (pop. 300K-500K), containing Semitic elements from Akkad N of Sumer on the W bank of the Euphrates in modern-day Iraq (which derives its name from Uruk) about 30 mi. SW of Baghdad; some cities have over 10K pop.; they worship the Moon god Sin. In -4000 migration begins from the Aegean Sea and Anatolia to the Broken Balkans (Turkish for mountains) and the E Mediterranean. In -4000 the Michelsberg Culture from the Rhineland settles in Belgium and the Netherlands. In -4000 the Funnel Breaker Culture, ranging from S Norway to the Czech-Austrian border and from the Ukraine to the Netherlands reaches NW France and England. In -4000 migrants from Asia settle in islands close to New Guinea. In -4000 the Salisbury Plain (Gael. "Sulis" = Sun") inC S England becomes the center of a funky Stone Age religious cult with huge burial mounds and graves. By -4000 the horse and camel, AKA dromedary ("running") are domesticated in the Middle East, while the llama and alpaca are domesticated in Peru. In -4000 farming begins in Ulster. In -4000 domesticated millet is raised in N China. In -4000 domesticated animals incl. pigs, chicken, and dogs are domesticated in China. In -4000 Copper is worked in the Balkans and the Fertile Crescent. About -4000 the jackass is domesticated in Africa (Somalia?). About -4000 the Egyptians develop sailing vessels (feluccas) for use near the mouth of the Nile River. About -4000 the Egyptians invent the Sundial. About -4000 the Egyptians bake Leavened Bread. About -4000 the Chinese make Cheese and Yogurt using mold. About -4000 Chiles, originally from Bolivia are used from the Bahamas to Peru, according to Linda Perry of the Smithsonian Nat. Museum of Natural History and Deborah M. Pearsall (1950-) of the U. of Mo. About -4000 tombs at Loughcrew in County Meath, Ireland align with the rising Sun at the spring and autumn equinoxes. About -4000 Megaliths are constructed in Malta. Golden artifacts from the Black Sea port of Varna date to the end of the 5th millennium B.C.E., becoming the world's oldest golden treasure in modern times. About -4000 a hard-to-play spherical ceramic flute is used for religious purposes near the Macedonian city of Veles. About -4000 the Akhmim Tablets contain a list of servants' names and a series of grain computations. About -4000 the Sumerian storm goddess-demon Lilith (Akkadian "Lilitu" = night") is worshiped, becoming known for appearing to men in erotic dreams and have sex with them, although she is sterile and has no milk; she is later claimed to be the mythological real first wife of the Bible's Adam.

Also about -4000 if the Bible's Adam and Eve story is true, giant Nephilim (Heb. "those causing others to fall or fail") inhabit the Earth until Noah's Flood (Gen. Ch. 6); "Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. Then the LORD said, 'My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, for he is indeed flesh; nevertheless his days shall be one hundred and twenty years.' The Nephilim were on the Earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown."

About -3500 the harp is first used in Sumer (Ur), along with lyres, spreading to Egypt by -3000.

About -3200 the first Hieroglyphs appear on labels and pottery in Egypt, along with the first scrolls of Papyrus.

About -3000 draft oxen and the Potter's Wheel are used in Mesopotamia. Beeswax Candles begin to be used in ?. Nail Polish is invented in China. The first permanent copper shaving razors appear in Egypt and India. Ma Huang, containing Ephedrine, closely resembling amphetamine is used by Chinese doctors. The earliest writing in China is in the E province of Zhejiang.

About -2700 the Sumerians invent the Abacus, followed by the Persians in -600, the Greeks in -500, and the Chinese in -200; the earliest known abacus dates to -300, the Salamis Tablet, discovered on the Greek island of Salamis in 1846.

About -2700 the square-sailed ship is invented in Egypt.

In -2640 Chinese Empress Hsi-ling Chi (Shi) allegedly discovers Sericulture after a cocoon falls from a mulberry tree into her tea cup, and it unravels as she tries to remove it; divulging the secret of sericulture becomes a treasonable death penalty offense, and the Chinese monopoly eventually makes it worth its weight in gold; the best silk comes from Bombyx mori moths, which each lay up to 500 pinhead-sized eggs, which hatch in 20 days, and begin munching mulberry leaves, growing 70X in 18 days after shedding their skin 4X and increasing their weight by 10KX; they then begin spinning secreting double strands of fibroin which are coated with gumlike sericin before coming out of the spinneret at the rate of 10-15 in. per min., or up to 1 mi. in 48 hours; it takes 100 cocoons to make a silk scarf, 140 to make a tie, and 9K to make a kimono - ooh, bite your tongue?

Also in -2640 Chinese royal astronomers Hsi and Ho are executed for dereliction of duty when they get drunk and fail to predict a solar eclipse; luckily, the dragon eating the Sun gets his fill and departs, even though the required noisemakers with gongs are not assembled to drive it away.

In -2630 Sanakhte dies, and his younger brother Netjerykhet (Djoser) (Zoser) (d. -2611) becomes king #2 of Egypt's Third Dynasty, building the Step Pyramid in Saqqara near modern-day Cairo, becoming the first pyramid in Egypt, launching the Age of the Pyramids (3rd thru 6th Dynasties, AKA the Old Kingdom) (ends -2200); Imhotep, later the "god of medicine" and "prince of peace" thrives during the Third Dynasty at the court of King Djoser.

About -2500 the ox-drawn plow (ard) is invented in Egypt.

About -2200 iron anchor chains on ships are first used by the Chinese under Emperor Yu, two fore and two aft.

About -2200 according to Bible-thumpers, construction begins on the Tower of Babel (Gen. 11:4), an attempt to disobey Jehovah's order to populate the entire Earth and instead build New York, New York, it's my kind of town, which Big J foils by confounding the workers' languages, rewiring their language circuits so that what they have here is a failure to communicate, and they do a Cool Hand Luke and ditch their own U.N. Bldg. (no translators), and go their own ways, forever at war, but spreading all over the Earth? Was Babylon the original source of magic, divination and astrology, and was the Tower of Babel built on the Dark Isle (al-Djezair) between the Tigris and Euphrates, and contained eight tiers in an attempt to attain to immortality, becoming the source of the Eightfold Path of Buddha, the figure-8 twined serpents on the Caduceus (staff of Hermes, AKA Mercury, AKA Thoth, AKA Prince of Tricksters, Joker, Jester, Fool), the I-Ching, Tarot Cards, the Game of Kings (chess) and the Knights' Tour, the marriage of the Red King and White Queen, the secret of the peacock's tail, the sideways-8 figure for infinity, and the alchemical quest for the Philosopher's Stone, a cake made from a reddish-black powder, which is mixed with Aqua Philosophia, "heavy water" gathered from dew when the Sun is between the Bull and the Ram (when the water falling from the Moon is heaviest), creating the Elixir of Life (al-Iksir), which gives immortality if made correctly, but death if made incorrectly?

About -2000 the Chinese develop a writing system; meanwhile Alphabetic Writing is invented in the Middle East.

About -1850 the Egyptian Twelfth Dynasty Moscow (Golenishchev) Mathematical Papyrus contains 25 math problems.

About -1800 Stonehenge (begun -2800) in England is completed, designed to predict eclipses of the Sun and Moon as well as solstices and seasons; on sunrise at the summer solstice the Sun comes right down the aisle of small stones in the center, as shown by English astronomer Gerald Stanley Hawkins (1928-2003) - where it shines on the sacrifice table so the Druids can insure another cycle of seasons?

About -1680 Labarnas (Labarna) I announces the brand-spanking new Old Hittite (Hatti) Kingdom (ends -1500), E of the Halys River on the C plateau of Anatolia (Asia Minor), developing iron-working, which gives his troops the mojo to cross the Taurus Mts. and tirelessly wage war on Syria and Assyria in a land grab in the Anatolian Peninsula; the land of Ebla in N Syria is "shattered like a ceramic vase"; in 1098 C.E. Crusaders mention seeing the ruins of Ebla (Mardikh) 40 mi. S of Aleppo.

About -1650 the Egyptian Mathematical Leather Roll is written, a practice test for students on fractions; also the Rhind Mathematical Papyrus, which contains mathematical problems.

About -1600 the oldest surgical treatise on trauma to survive to modern times, the Edwin Smith Papyrus is written during the Egyptian Second Intermediate Period (by first known physician Imhotep?), describing 48 cases of injuries, fractures, wounds, dislocations, and tumors, with treatment and prognosis, incl. closing wounds with sutures, using honey and moldy bread as antiseptics, stopping bleeding with raw meat, and immobilization for head and spinal cord injuries; magic is left as a last resort; it also contains detailed anatomical observations but shows no understanding of organ functions; the earliest known reference to cancers or ulcers of the breast; discovered in Luxor in 1862 C.E. by Am. antiquities dealer Edwin Smith (1822-1906).

About 1,550 B.C.E. the Ebers Papyrus is created in Luxor, Thebes, Egypt, describing diagnosis and treatment of various medical ailments incl. depression and dementia, mentioning that the heart is the center of the blood supply and all bodily fluids, and listing 877 drug prescriptions; discovered in 1873-4 by German Egyptologist Georg Mortiz Ebers (1837-98).

About -1500 the 22-letter (consonants only) Phoenician Alphabet begins to be developed, reaching its completed form around -1200.

About -1500 the Egyptians invent the Shadow Clock. About -1500 Bells are made in China. About -1500 are the earliest written record and surviving fragments of Tapestry. About -1500 the earliest known Glassware is made in Egypt.

Also about -1500 indigenous iron technology arises in Dwarka and Kashmir in India.

About -1270 the first bronze Naue Type II swords (grip-tongue or Griffzungenschwert) (good for slashing) are developed in N Italy or Austria-Hungary, spreading to the Aegean and Ugarit (N Syria) by -1200; named after German archeologist Julius Naue (1835-1907).

About -1250 at the climax of the year's largest religious festival in Thebes, 70-y.-o. Pharaoh (since -1290) Rameses (Ramses) II (the Great) (-1320 to -1224) stands on the pyramid before 300K adoring subjects and lifts his short white robe to reveal an erect thebesing penis, causing them to cheer after seeing that their pharaoh's staff is mighty and that Egypt will prosper; he dies after fathering 100+ legitimate and 1K+ illegitimate children, causing everybody in Egypt to end up looking like him?; according to Norman Mailer, nothing like this happens again until the days of U.S. Pres. Bill Clinton - a lost invention of Egyptian Viagra, or the eggplant trick of John Barth's "Sot Weed Factor"?

About -1200 the Late Bronze Period of Archaeology begins, and the Early Iron (Iron I) Period of Archeology begins (ends -1000).

The original Hatfield-McCoy Feud? In -1194 the Trojan War (ends -1184) begins when Prince Paris (Alexander), son of King Priam of Troy (Ilium) on the Hellespont (known for his prowess with a bow) goes on a diplomatic mission to Spartan king Menelaus, and falls in love with his beautiful wife Helen, then abducts her and takes her with him back to Troy (founded by Dardanus, son of the god Saturn), pissing-off Menelaus, who gets his brother King Agamemnon of Mycenae (in the NE Peloponnesus 55 mi. SW of Athens) to join him, along with loose cannon Achilles of Thessaly, son of King Peleus of the Myrmidons and the Nereid Thetis; the whole thing started when Eris, goddess of discord, pissed-off at being excluded from a marriage throws a golden apple inscribed "To the Most Beautiful" into the gathering, and Paris awards it to Aphrodite, causing her to promise Helen to him?; according to Herodotus (Bk. 1), it all started when the Phoenicians first arrived from the Red Sea (Indian Ocean), and kidnapped Io and other maidens from the top Greek island of Argos and took them to Egypt, after which more Greeks kidnapped Europa, daughter of the king of Tyre, then Greek Jason and the Argonauts got the same idea and did ditto to Medea, daughter of the king of Colchis, causing Priam to think that he had a right to get a wife by kidnap, and when the Greeks actually made him pay for it for once, it pissed-off the Persians, who claimed to own all peoples in Asia Minor, causing them to become the enemies of the Greeks; actually a ton of Greek bucks had courted Helen before her marriage, and all had been made to promise Menelaus to defend her in advance?; the Greeks then launch a fleet of 1K ships and 50K men at Troy, which itself has no navy but has an impregnable fortress city, and the classic confrontation of irresistible force and immovable object is on; no ordinary Bronze Age Greek supermodel, Helen (Gr. "torch", or "selene" = Moon?) of Troy, "the face that launched a thousand ships" is the daughter of Zeus (in the form of a swan) and Spartan queen Leda (daughter of King Thestius of Aetolia), who on the same night was also impregnated by Spartan king Tyndareus (two fertilized eggs at the same time), producing her twin siblings Kastor and Polydeuces (Castor and Pollux) (mortals) and (from her first egg) Helen and Clytemnestra, whom Agamemnon married after killing her first hubby Tantalus in order to become king of Mycenae, after Clytemnestra bears him Orestes (Gr. "mountaineer"), Iphigenia (Iphigeneia) (Gr. "strong-born"), Electra, and Chrysothemis, then after he sacrifices Iphigenia to make the winds return so his fleet can sail to Troy, she waits till he gets back from Troy with Trojan princess Cassandra, pissing her off more, and murders them both so that her new beau Aegisthus (Gr. "goat strength") can become king, after which Orestes and Electra of the now doomed House of Atreus murder them both.

On June 11, -1184 the impregnable walled city of Troy (Ilium) in Asia Minor near the Hellespont (Dardanelles) is destroyed by fire in the last year of the 10-year Trojan War after the first special ops commando raid in history, made possible by the original 1-trick pony Trojan Horse (the original Kobayashi Maru Maneuver?), which Trojan priest Laocoon (Laocoön) tries in vain to expose by tapping with a spear, causing the goddess Athena to send sea serpents to strangle him and his sons Agesander, Athenodoros, and Polyclitus, which the Trojans interpret as proof that the horse is sacred; the doings in the 10th year are later celebrated by Homer's Iliad; the U.S. 10th Special Forces Group (Green Berets) later features a silver Trojan Horse on their badge; a band of survivors led by Aeneas (son of Aphrodite or Venus and Anchises, a cousin of King Priam) escape and search for a new home, ending up in Rome (Latium), where King Latinus (son of Inachus, son of Dardanus, son of Saturn) allows them to stay, and reneges on a promise to King Turnus of the Rutuli, marrying his daughter Lavinia to Aeneas instead, causing Turnus to turn-turn-turn declare war on Aeneas, which he loses, getting killed, after which Aeneas' Troy-born son (via 1st wife Creusa, who dies before reaching Latium) Ascanius founds Alba Longa SE of Rome on Lake Albanus in the Alban Hills (ends 7th cent. B.C.E.), and becomes its first king, establishing the line that leads to Romulus and Remus; Homer's Odyssey contains one of the earliest historical references to Crete, claiming that it's populated by Achaeans, Cydonians, Pelasgians, Dorians, and Eteocretans (pre-Hellenic natives), and has 90 independent cities, with #1 being Cnossos; shortly after the Trojan War ends, the city of Tenea is founded 15 km SE of Corinth and 20 km NE of Mycenae by Trojan POWs with the permission of Agamemnon. In May 1873 German ancient Greece freak archeologist Heinrich Schliemann (1822-90) claims to have dug up the remains of ancient Troy, which he had been excavating since 1870 in an effort to prove that it isn't a legend.

In -1244 the Cairo Calendar (Calendar of Lucky and Unlucky Days (ends -1163) begins to be kept, containing daily observations of the Algol triple star system, becoming the earliest historical record of a star's brightness.

About -1000 the soft limestone tablet Gezer Calendar is erected 30 mi. NW of Jerusalem on the site of the Biblical city of Gezer, outlining their lunar agricultural year; a school boy's exercise?; discovered in 1908 C.E.

About -800 the Saddle (without stirrup) is developed by the Assyrians, consisting of a simple cloth and surcingle; stirrups aren't invented until the 4th cent. C.E. in China, and are spread to Europe by the end of the 6th cent. C.E. by the Avars.

About -800 Couching (using a sharp instrument to push a cloudy lens to the bottom of the eye to cure cataract) is first described in the medical treatise "Sushruta Samhita, Uttar Tantra" by Indian surgeon Maharshi Sushutra.

About -730 the Hallstatt Iron Age Culture, characterized by iron and bronze swords with winged metal terminals, and horse domestication evolves from the Urnfield Culture, and begins spreading from Austria to France, Belgium, Netherlands, Iberia, and Ireland, launching the Iron Age in Europe (until -400), speaking a proto-Celtic language that becomes the ancestor of all later Celtic languages, branching into separate Celtiberian, Goidelic, and Byrthonic tongues; named from a necropolis containing 2K graves in Hallstatt in Upper Austria, excavated in 1846-99.

In -722 (6th year of Hezekiah of Judah) (2 Ki. 18:10), Samaria is conquered (2 Ki. ch. 17) by the Assyrians under king (since -727) Shalmaneser V, who is assassinated, allowing his successor Sargon II (Sharru-Kin) (-763 to -705) ("legitimate king") to claim credit; the 27,290 members of the Lost Ten Tribes of Israel, incl. King Hoshea are carried away like foam upon the water to Harran; the depopulated land is slowly settled by Aramaic-speaking Assyrians, and the Samaritan Religion is born; Jerusalem is strengthened with a great influx of refugees; after the time of Nehemiah, the Hebrew language dies out, and Aramaic, the language of the Aramean internat. land traders becomes the universal language of the civilized Western world by the time of Darius I the Great; of the original Twelve Tribes, only the depleted 2-tribe (Judah and Benjamin) S kingdom of Judah is left (along with some Levites, the landless priest-class 13th tribe), and Judah only has seven more kings to go before their royal line is kaput (Manasseh, Amon, Josiah, Jehoahaz, Jehoiakim, Jehoiachin, Zedekiah); later speculators trace the lost tribes to the British Isles, North Am., South Am., India (the Manashe Tribe in Manipur and Mizoram in E India), Abyssinia, Afghanistan, China, Japan, Africa, and Uzbekistan and Tajikistan; the proof that the Tribe of Dan migrated W is their naming of the Danube, Dnieper, and Denmark?; in the 18th cent. the Anglo-Israelite Theory, that they are the ancestors of the Anglo-Saxon peoples makes it easier for Jews to immigrate; did they go to Japan, as indicated by similar ceremonies?; some Scots claim that they are the lost tribes, and that the Stone of Scone (pr. SKOON) is really the Beth-El (Jacob's Pillow) in Genesis; the Book of Mormon claims they migrate to North Am., quoting Bible prophet Isaiah: "From the isles of the sea, from those parts beyond the sea into which they were carried captive" (Is. 24:24) (maybe to the British Isles?).

The pesky nation of Israel kaput, and the runt nation of Judah barely squeaking by, the Assyrians rule Da Middle East, causing Jews to forget how to speak Hebrew, except for a few priests. In -708 Babylon falls to Assyria, and now the known world pays homage to Assyria Da Great.

In -700 Assyrian king (-705 to -681) Sennacherib (Sin-Ahhe-Eriba) (d. -681) (Akkadian "the Moon god"), known for founding the capital city of Nineveh, which he turns into a magnificent city, with a royal palace of 80 rooms built on a foundation of 160M bricks, and featuring bas-relief stone panels of winged lions or bulls with a man's head, along with grisly scenes of cruel treatments of POWs incl. impalings orders the construction of the world's first known Aqueduct in Jerwan.

About -700 the Sumerians invent the Arch Bridge, using corbelled arches in aqueducts.

In -668 Esarhaddon's son Ashurbanipal (Ashur-Ban-Apli) (-692 to -627) (Sardanapalios, Sardanapalus, Asenaphar, Asenappab) becomes king of Assyria, and begins collecting the great Library of Ashurbanipal containing 22K+ cuneiform clay tablets, incl. a copy of the ancient Epic of Gilgamesh, which has the Babylonian accounts of the Creation and Flood (excavated beginning in 1845 C.E.); some cuneiform is so tiny (6 lines per inch) that it must be read through a magnifying glass; he installs his brother Shamash-Shuma-Ukin (d. -648) as king of Babylon, who has the Shamash-Shuma-Ukin Chronicle inscribed on a small tablet.

Too bad, in -639 the Assyrian Annals (state records) abruptly end; "With the year 639, the sources for Assyrian history cease... No explanation can be given for this curious blackout. With appalling suddenness, the Empire disintegrated." (The Interpreter's Dict. of the Bible)

In -612 the Assyrian capital of Nineveh (pop. 100K) is sieged, sacked and destroyed by the Babylonians under Nabopolassar, the Medes under Cyaxares, and the Scythians (Nah. 3:7), turning it into "ruin-hills and heaps of debris" (Babylonian Chronicle 21901 of the British Museum); the ruins aren't rediscovered until 1849 C.E.; the great library of Ashurbanipal is destroyed (22K cuneiform tablets found in modern times); the Assyrian Empire is threatened with collapse as the Medes and Babylonians divide it.

In -605 Babylonian crown prince Nebuchadnezzar II (d. -562) (Nabuchodonosor) (Nabu-Kudurri-Usur) defeats the Egyptians under Necho II (his rival for control of Syria and Palestine) at the Battle of Carchemish (Karkemish) on the W Bank of the Euphrates River 400 mi. N of Jerusalem (Jer. 46:1-2) (35 mi. SE of Gaziantep in S Turkey on the Syrian border), and overtakes and annihilates the fleeing Egyptian army at Hama; both sides take heavy casualties, and Nabopolassar dies; Egyptian power in Asia is destroyed (2 Chron. 35:20); "For the mighty man has stumbled against the mighty, and they are fallen both of them together (Jer. 46:12); on the first day of Elul (Aug.-Sept.) his son Nebuchadnezzar II is crowned king of Babylon and becomes undisputed ruler of W Asia (until -562); Judean king Josiah takes on Necho on his way to Carchemish in violation of God's orders, and is wounded by archers and brought back to Jerusalem, where he dies, and Jeremiah utters laments for him, which "are written in the Laments" (2 Chron 35:20-27); Josiah is succeeded by 23-y.-o. Jehoahaz, who reigns 3 mo. until Necho deposes him and lays a tribute of 100 talents of silver and one talent of gold on the land, then makes his 25-y.-o. brother Eliakim king of Judah, changing his name to Jehoiakim, taking his brother Jehoahaz hostage back to Egypt; "He reigned eleven years in Jerusalem, and did what was evil in the sight of the Lord his God" (2 Chron. 36:1-8). Jeremiah begins dictating to his secretary Baruch a prophecy directed against Israel, Judah and all the nations (Jer. Ch. 36).

About -600 the first Egyptian Merkhets ("instruments of knowing") are used to establish time at night.

About -600 Sushruta (Sansk. "well-heard") of Varanasi, India becomes the first plastic surgeon and father of surgery, leaving a Compendium, containing descriptions of 1,120 illnesses, 700 medicinal plants, and detailed surgical techniques for incisions, probing, cauterization, prostate gland removal, hernia surgery, cataract surgery, Caesarian section et al.

About -600 Thales of Miletus (-624 to -547) becomes what was regarded by Aristotle as the first philosopher; "Western philosophy begins with Thales" (Bertrand Russell); he becomes the first to break with religion and attempt to explain Nature without resorting to mythology, becoming known as "the Father of Science"; he regards water as the arche (source of all things), and leaves Thales' Theory of Geometry and Thales' Intercept Theorem, becoming the first true mathematician who discovers a mathematical theorem and uses deductive reasoning to derive four corollaries.

In -587 Nebuchadnezzar II conquers Cilicia, and heads for Jerusalem, capturing Zedekiah and bringing him to Big Neb blindfolded (2 Ki. 25:2-8); Nebuchadnezzar retires to Riblah "in the land of Hamath", leaving the siege to his chief bodyguard Nebuzaradan ("Nebo has given offspring") (2 Ki. 25:8-12), who comes to Jerusalem 1 mo. later; beginning on the 7th day of the the 5th month Ab, the Babylonians enter Jerusalem, wreck the wall, and loot the Temple of Jehovah (Solomon) (2 Ki. 25:8-20, Jer. 39:8-10, 43:5-6, 2 Chron.); the Ark of the Covenant is not there (captured by Pharaoh Shishak, or given by Solomon to the Queen of Sheba's son Menelik?); they capture and blind King Zedekiah, slaughter "all the nobles of Judah" (Jer. 39:1-8), and take the remainder of the pathetic Jews into the Babylonian Captivity, allowing some of the lowliest ones to remain; on the 10th day of Ab Nebuzaradan inspects and then burns the temple (on the same day that the rebuilt temple is burned in 70 C.E.) (the Jews commemorate the 7th day of Ab with a fast, and also celebrate the 9th day of Ab, or Tishbah b'Ab).

In -539 monotheist Zoroastrian Persian king Cyrus ("Sun", "throne") II the Great (-600 to -529) conquers Babylon after diverting the Euphrates River so that it can no longer be used as a moat. One of his first acts is to issue a decree (2 Chron. ch. 36) granting his exiled fellow monotheist subjects the Jews the right to return to Israel; the Bible book of Isaiah, Chap. 44 and Isaiah, Chap. 45, allegedly written 200 years earlier predicts the capture of Babylon by Cyrus, the draining of the Euphrates (44:27), the gates being left open (45:1-2), and even calls him by name (45:1) and describes him as the Anointed (Messiah); 42K Jews return, settling in the Persian province of Yehud (Judea), but the majority stay (cooler summers?). Now that the Order of the Middle East is restored with black-haired monotheist Persians running things, and the black-haired Jews allowed to return to their digs, the blonde Jove-worshipping polytheist Greeks see the handwriting on their wall and begin to ramp up Science? No wonder that Bible and Quran-thumpers later associate Science with the Devil?

Call it race, culture, social organization, geography, climate, low birthrate, sexual orientation, or luck, but the first real scientific brain men were blonde-blue Greeks running around in togas in Athens and environs - men not women, sorry. White supremacists love to dwell on those fabled days when their so-called race was winning all the blue ribbons, never mind all them blonde-blue illiterate barbarians in Europe who worshiped trees and were afraid to bend over for fear of a wild boar's tusk up their asses. If there is another side to it you should've asked Idi Amin, the last king of Scotland before he went to be with Allah in paradise.

Shut your pi hole and do your math homework? In -530 after traveling to Egypt and learning the doctrines of the Egyptian priests, Greek Ionian philosopher Pythagoras (-580 to -497) is driven from Samos by tyrant Polycrates, and founds his mystical philosophical sect in Italy's Toe City Croton (Crotona), teaching reincarnation, numerology, and dietary restrictions (no beans), and gaining the support of superstar athlete Milo of Croton after claiming to be a reincarnation of Trojan War soldier Euphorbus; although he leaves no writings, his school discovers the Pythagorean Theorem and raises math to a science, considering Number to be the ultimate principle of the Universe, and believing the Earth to be a globe revolving with the planets (incl. the Sun) around a central fire, separated from each other by intervals corresponding to the harmonic lengths of strings, which play the "music (harmony) of the spheres"; Pythagoreans don't eat beans because they make bad music?

In spring -480 Persian Zoroastrian king (since -485) Xerxes (Khshayarsha) (Ahasuerus) (Pers. "monarch") I (d. -465) personally leads an invasion of Greece against the ?!*! pesky free-thinking polytheist Greek hooligan terrorists, assisted by bitter exiled Spartan king Demaratus, marching through Thrace and Macedonia with 200K-2M men, incl. units of Arabs on camels (Herodotus Bk. 7 says 5M plus camp followers), plus a fleet of 600-1,200 ships, cutting a canal through the 1 mi. wide Isthmus of Chalkidike for them; on Aug. 9-11 (Aug. 16-18?) a Greek allied army of 7K hoplites (incl. 300 Spartans, 400 Thebans, 700 Thespians, 900 Helots, and 1K Phocians) blocks the 50-yd.-wide (as wide as a wagon track in some places) coastal pass (6 mi. from the sea, which turns into a swamp then a rocky plain in modern times) of Thermopylae (Thermopilai) (Gr. "hot gates") in E Greece (between Mt. Oeta and the S shore of the Gulf of Maliakos) for three days, while a fleet of 270 Greek ships protects the Gulf of Artemisium; on Aug. 19 after a Greek traitor shows the Persians a bypass route which allows them to turn the Greek position, most of the Greeks retreat, except 300 Spartans and 700 Lesbians, er, Thespians (famous for their worship of Eros and the Muses) under Spartan Agiad king (since -490) Leonidas I (-520 to -480), who make a stand, and are all KIA in a legendary fashion after responding to the Persian demand to surrender their weapons with the immortal soundbyte "Molon labe" (come and take them); later Simonides of Keos turns this into the immortal soundbyte "Go tell the Spartans, stranger passing by, that here, obedient to their laws, we lie"; meanwhile half of the Persian fleet is lost to storms, and the Battle of Artemisium is a push, but the loss of Thermopylae causes the Greek navy to withdraw, and the Boeotians, Phocians, and Lorians to flop to the Persian side; the Greek army retreats to the Peloponnese and builds a wall across the Isthmus of Corinth, and the Greek fleet moves to the Saronic Gulf between Athens and Salamis, causing the Athenians to flee and the Persians to occupy Attica and sack and destroy Athens, but on Sept. 23 the Greeks score a big V at the naval Battle of Salamis in the Straits of Salamis after the Persians make the mistake of attacking in a narrow strait which takes away their numerical advantage; Paros switches sides after the battle, and joins the Athenian League; Xerxes heads back to Persia with what remains of his navy and a third of his army, leaving Gen. Artabazus in charge of one-third in Thrace, and Gen. Mardonius in charge of the rest, who withdraws from Athens, burning everything in his path, and winters in Boeotia; the Acropolis in Athens is destroyed.

On Aug. 27, -479 (morning) after the Persians invade Attica again, the Greeks ignore their differences and unite against the common Persian foe, fielding an army of 110K incl. 39K Spartans in the land Battle of Plataea; the Persians under gen. Mardonius are defeated by Greek forces under Spartan gen. Pausanias (-510 to -468), with a total loss of 250K; Mardonius is KIA and his body stolen and his camp plundered; meanwhile on Aug. 27 (afternoon) after the Samians and Chians convince king Leotychides II of Sparta to take his small Greek fleet guarding the Cyclades to surprise the Persians after the latter make the mistake of drawing their ships up on the beach at Mycale near Samos, the naval Battle of Mycale sees the Athenians under gen. Xanthippus (father of Pericles) destroy the Persian fleet and complete the Greek repulse of Persia; both battles take place near a temple of the Eleusinian Demeter (Herodotus, Bk. 9); too bad the town of Thespiae in SC Boeotia in EC Greece, E of Mt. Helicon (10 mi. WSW of Thebes and 10 mi. WNW of Plataea) (whose pop. fought at both Thermopylae and Plataea) is destroyed by the Persians; on Sept. 6 the Greeks siege Thebes, demand that they turn over Persian collaborators Timagenidas and Artaginus, and when they refuse, capture the town, abolish the oligarchy, and institute a democracy; the Ionian cities of Asia Minor along with several island cities (Chios, Lesbos, Samos) see their chance and revolt from the Persian melon-heads, forming an allied Greek fleet that sieges the Persian stronghold of Sestos in the Thracian Chersonesus at the mouth of the Aegospotami River; the Spartans return home in the fall, but the Athenians and Ionians stay and capture Sestos early next year.

This epic V made blonde polytheist Greece and the Wild West safe from dark-haired monotheist Persia and its oriental despotism, else we'd all be speaking Persian now and still be driving chariots. Too bad for blondes, the dark-haired polytheist Latins are beginning their rise, and prove that an empire can be built on stealing somebody else's Science, see any rerun of the Planet of the Apes. Meanwhile the ever-persecuted Jews wait in the wings, giving modern conspiracy theorists a lifetime job, I'll risk a spoiler and mention that 2,400 years later most brainy Jews go atheist and take over the World of Science in order to restore their lost state of Israel in 1948 with the power of their 2nd homeland the U.S., the conspiracy novel is still in my drawer I just haven't had time to publish it.

About -430 Greek Pythagorean philosopher Philolaus of Croton (-480 to -385) of Croton in Magna Grecia (S Italy) gets the credit for originating the theory that the Earth is not the center of the Universe; he claims that humans have immortal souls which are imprisoned as a punishment for bad behavior during life.

About -430 Greek sophist Hippias of Elis discovers the mathematical Quadratix of Hippias (Dinostratus), used for angle trisection.

In -427 the Hindu astronomical Siddhantas (Sansk. "Doctrine/Tradition") begin to be compiled, containing the Hindu numerals and zero.

In -420 Cumae is conquered by the Oscans using the gastraphetes (Gr. "belly bow"), a winched crossbow machine capable of throwing two arrows at the same time, invented by Pythagorean engineer Zopyrus of Tarentum; they go on to eradicate its Greek identity - easy cumae, easy osco?

About -420 Greek philosopher Democritus of Abdera (-460 to -370) pioneers the concept of atomic structure by contrasting the Intellect and the Senses: "Apparently there is color, apparently sweetness, apparently bitterness, actually there are only atoms and the void"; "Poor Intellect, do you hope to defeat us, while from us you borrow your evidence? Your victory is in fact your defeat."

About -400 60-y.-o. Hippocrates of Cos (-460 to -377) of the island of Cos in Greece becomes "the Founder of Western Medicine", teaching that diseases have natural causes, proposing the Four Humors (Temperaments) (sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic) theory of disease, theorizing that mental disorders may be caused by physiological abnormalities; teaches that wounds should be washed in water that had been boiled or filtered, and that a doctor's hands should be kept clean and his nails clipped short, becoming the first to distinguish benign from malignant breast tumors, advocating withholding treatment for "hidden" cancers, with the soundbyte that surgery causes "a speedy death, but to omit treatment is to prolong life"; Aristotle later calls him the "great physician"; the Hippocratic Oath, drafted by him or his students incl. "Primum non nocere" ("The first rule is do no harm"); it begins "I swear by Apollo, the physician, by Aesculapius, by Hygieia, Panacea, and all the gods and goddesses... The regimen I adopt shall be for the benefit of my patients according to my ability and judgment, and not for their hurt or for any wrong. I will give no deadly drug to any, though it be asked of me, nor will I counsel such, and especially I will not aid a woman to procure abortion..."; he determines that the male contribution to a child's heredity is carried in the semen - matriarchial religions are f-ed? He also writes Aphorisms; "Life is short, and Art is long" (Vita breva, Ars longa) - is there a doctor in the Acropolis? He leaves the soundbyte: "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food."

About -400 the Shun-Hai Ching (Sun-Hai King) (Classic of Mountains and Seas) (Mountain-Sea Classic) is written by a group of Chinese scholar-explorers, becoming the oldest secular book on Earth, describing 550 mountains and 300 channels in 18 sections; it describes fantastic creatures such as a 1-armed tusked ("spears of pearl") red giant as tall as three men, and a small grey pig with a white collar and teeth of pearls; did they visit America and see woolly mammoths and peccaries?

About -400 the city of Syracuse under tyrant Dionysius I invents the Arrow-Throwing Catapult.

In -347 after watching his master Socrates (-469 to -399) take the hemlock in -399 then wandering around before settling in Athens and founding the Academy in -387 (world's first univ.), Greek philosopher Plato (Gk. "broad") (real name Aristocles) (-427 to -347) (AKA Eflatun, meaning spring of water or knowledge) dies, leaving a giant stack of writings that wow the world forever. Too bad, his take on Science is that Nature is an idea, causing his disciples to get into an endless war with followers of Aristotle, who consider Nature to be a machine; in practice the theologians get into more deep doodoo than the Scientists, who have the common ground of mathematics.

In -336 the blonde Greeks finally made their play for world domination, but not exactly, it was the blonde bi Macedonian Alexander III the Great (-356 to -323), who conquered the known world incl. Greece, the Holy Land, Egypt, and Persia before dying prematurely in Babylon, after which his generals split and spoiled the Great Blonde Greek Dream Empire, ask Mel Gibson how Jews started that war, okay, I'll tell ya, they stopped a war, against themselves. In -332 according to Jewish historian Josephus in his Antiquities 11.317-45, Alexander III the Great visits Jerusalem, and the Jewish elders freak him by reading to him from the Book of Daniel (Ch. 2) the prophesy about the statue with a head made of gold, chest and arms made of silver, belly of brass, legs of iron, and feet of iron mixed with clay, explaining that the head is Babylon, the breast and arms Medo-Persia, the brass belly and thighs Greece, and the iron legs Rome, before or after which he has a dream about the Jewish god being right and sacrifies to him, sparing the city from sacking although putting it under his control; meanwhile after cooperating with Alexander (who thinks Jerusalem is a no-value town run by stargazers?), the Samaritans build their Samaritan Temple to Jehovah on Mount Gerizim.

In -335 Stagira, Macedonia-born Greek Golden Mean philosopher (the first scientist?) Aristotle (Gr. "best (purpose) of all") of Stagira (-384 to -322) parts ways with Plato and founds the Lyceum in E Athens, becoming the teacher of undefeated world conqueror Alexander III the Great, preferring to collect data rather than sit around thinking, and (after much personal experimentation?) deciding that all inheritance comes from the father, the mother merely providing the material, and that female babies are caused by "interference" from the mother; he leaves 260 treatises, incl. Constitution of Athens (written in -350) (discovered in 1890 C.E.), Physics, Metaphysics, Ethics, Logic (Prior Analytics), Zoology, De Anima (On the Soul) (the nous poietikos or active intellect vs. the nous pathetikos or passive intellect), which first mentions the Tabula Rasa view of the mind as starting out a blank slate, and Poetics, the first work on art criticism, valuing art based on how it imitates the universal in human nature, and claiming criticism as a science: "Man is by nature a political animal"; "Hope is a waking dream"; "Tyrants preserve themselves by sowing fear and mistrust among the citizens by means of spies, by distracting them with foreign wars, by eliminating men of spirit who might lead a revolution, by humbling the people, and making them incapable of decisive action"; "Music directly represents the passions of the soul. If one listens to the wrong kind of music, he will become the wrong kind of person."

In -323 Aristotle's pupil, Greek philosopher-botanist Theophrastus (-371 to -287) (Gr. "graceful conversation") becomes dir. #2 of the Lyceum, writing Historia Plantarum, descriptions of 500+ species of plants.

In -305 Alexander's polymath gen. Ptolemy I Soter (Gr. "savior") (-367 to -283) establishes the great Alexandrian Museum (Museo) (dedicated to the Muses) in Egypt in honor of Alexander III the Great, whose body he had brought from Babylon and buried there; elite Greek scholars must complete the Logikon, a course in theoretical science before going on to the Cheirourgikon (experimental lab), incl. an observatory, botanical-zoological gardens, dissection rooms, et al.; the library is filled by royal decree, all travelers visiting the city required to yield up any scrolls in their possession so that copies can be made and given to them; the museum cranks out pioneers incl. Euclid of Alexandria (-365 to -265) (geometry), Hero (steam turbine and windmill-driven organ), Eratosthenes of Cyrene (-276 to -194) (astronomy), Aristarchus of Samos (astronomy), Herophilus (anatomy) et al.; destroyed in 642 C.E. by the Christians, er, Muslims.

In -305 the earliest known Multiplication Tables are inscribed on bamboo strips in China.

About -300 Greek mathematiciain Euclid of Alexandria (-325 to -265) pioneers deductive mathematics, and proves the infinitude of the prime numbers, providing the first examples of formal mathematical proofs and algorithms. In -295 he pub. Optica, the first text on geometrical optics. He dies leaving his 13-vol. masterpiece Elements [of Geometry] - and two Alexandrian Compasses in the garage? "There is no royal road to geometry."

About -300 the Magnetic Compass first appears in China, but it is used to determine propitious burial of the dead, not navigation until 1119 C.E..

Also about -300 the Samaritans invent the Saddle with breastplate and girth.

What is the greatest impediment to a career in mind-straining Science and Technology? Religion? Govt.? Business? Wrong, starts with S ends with X, er, starts with L ends with E. About -300 an Iberian stone relief is made in Osuna, Seville, Spain, showing a kissing man-woman pair in profile, they probably didn't even have a library or laboratory.

In -294 Greek physician Erasistratus of Ceos (-304 to -250) diagnoses Seleucis I Nicator's eldest son Antiochus I Soter as lovesickness, and when asked who it is, he claims it's his own wife, causing Seleucus I to pontificate that he should give her up, whereupon he reveals that it's really his own hot new queen Stratonice, causing Seleucus I to give her up; Erasistratus goes on to co-found the Medical School of Alexandria with Herophilus of Chalcedon (-335 to -280); after doing the first dissections (vivisections)? Erasistratus studies the brain, distinguishing between the cerebrum and cerebellum; Herophilus studies the nervous system, distinguishing between sensory and motor nerves.

In -260 Syracuse, Sicily-born Greek scientist-engineer-mathematician Archimedes (-287 to -212) discovers the law of buoyancy in his bath, shouting "Eureka!", going on to develop the principles of the lever, compound pulley, and other simple machines before being appointed to defend Syracuse from the Romans, creating defensive engineering marvels incl. giant ship-snatching levers, the catapult (600 ft. range, which can be varied as the ships close in), and a mirror device that sets Roman ships ablaze (Greek Fire), all of which make the Romans think of him as a sorcerer. Too bad, in -212 Syracuse is finally captured and sacked by the Romans under Gen. Marcus Claudius Marcellus, and turned into their govt. seat in Sicily; Archimedes is killed in Syracuse by a Roman soldier as he is drawing circles in the sand at the beach and telling him "Don't disturb my circles" (Noli tangere circulos meos). "Dos moi pou sto, kai kino ten gen" (Give me a place to stand, and I will move the Earth).

About -220 Greek writer Philo of Byzantium (b. -280) dies, leaving Pneumatics, which incl. the first description of a water mill and the problem of doubling the cube.

About -200 Egyptian-born Greek big brain Eratosthenes of Cyrene (-276 to -194) (head librarian of the Library of Alexandria) determines the circumference of the Earth by measuring noon Sun angles in wells at Syene (Aswan) and Alexandria, coming within 50 mi. of the correct value (approx. 25K mi.), suggesting that the Sun moves around the Earth; he also measures the obliquity of the ecliptic with an error of 7 min. of arc, and maps the course of the Nile River; the southernmost point of Africa is considered the Horn of Africa, taking the Greeks and Romans until the 1st cent. C.E. to discover SE Africa; it takes until 1670 C.E. for Christian Europe to catch back up?

In -193 the Porticus Aemilia, a warehouse in Rome's new dockyards is built S of the Aventine Hill, becoming the first use of Concrete, based on pozzolana, volcanic stone mortar from the new Roman colony of Pozzuoli in the Bay of Naples (two parts pozzolana to one part lime); the addition of seawater makes it stronger over time?

In -150 to -100 the Antikythera Mechanism, discovered in 1901 C.E. is the world's first computer, computing lunar-solar motions with gears, based on the off-center circle Hipparchos Model of the Moon's elliptical orbit around the Sun; the first astrolabe?; a Roman ship carrying it sinks off Antikythera Island in S Greece about -65, and is recovered in 1900 C.E.; the eclipse prediction is based on Babylonian rather than Greek math, and the astronomical calculations begin in -205; no instruments of comparable complexity are made for 1K years until Baghdad in 900 C.E. after the Romans and Greeks fail to pass on their technology, and the Muslim device is much simpler; designed by Hipparchos of Rhodes?

Too bad for Science, in -146 the Romans conquered Greece and turned the Greeks into slaves. After that Greek scientists, philosophers, and other brain men were so cute that every Roman ought to own one. The list of Roman mathematicians and scientists is so short it fell out of my pocket, sorry, they all remembered the lesson of Archimedes and wanted to be on the swordsman's side, preferring to conquer weak nations and steal their technology along with all the treasure they can find and create a monopoly, a strategy later adopted by 20th Cent. Software Emperor, er, Entrepreneur Bill Gates.

About -140 Greek #1 astronomer Hipparchus of Nicaea (-190 to -120) discovers trigonometry along with the precession of the equinoxes by observing the bright star Spica in Virgo.

About -100 the Coligny Calendar, a 60 in. x 42 in. bronze plaque is made by the Celts in Gaul, displaying a lunar calendar where months begin with the full moon, off about 1.5 days every 30 years, compared to 0.25 days every 30 years for the Julian Calendar; days start at sunset, and each 15 nights is a Celtic week, either the bright week or the dark week; the new year starts on Nov. 1, when the Celts celebrate Samhain (Samain) (pr. SOW-un) (summer's end). Obviously, the Roman claim that the Celts were backward barbarians who deserved to be exterminated in the name of progress was a govt. coverup for the winner's side.

In -100 future Roman dictator Gaius Julius (Gr. "child of Jove") Caesar (Lat. "hairy") (-100 to -44) is born via the world's first Caesarian Section. In 1500 C.E. the first Caesarian Section since Julius Caesar is carried out by pig gelder Jakob Nufer in Switzerland.

In -55 Roman poet-philosopher Titus (Lat. "defender") Lucretius Carus (Lat. "beloved") (-99 to -55) dies, leaving the epic philosophical poem De Rerum Natura (On the Nature of Things), expounding his Epicurean doctrine of the Universe in poetic form to Roman readers, based on atomism and guided by fortuna (chance); the first description of persistence of vision, which later makes motion pictures possible; in 1417 C.E. the long-lost full text is rediscovered in St. Gall Monastery by Italian humanist Giovanni Francesco Poggio Bracciolini (1380-1459).

On Jan. 1, -46 after Julius Caesar's babe Cleopatra VII hooks him up with the scientists of Egypt, the solar-based Julian Calendar goes into effect, changing from a lunar to a solar year, with the start of the year from the traditional vernal equinox in late Mar., and making the year 445 days (15 mo.) long this year by imperial decree to bring it back in step with the seasons, making this the "Roman Year of Confusion"; it was designed by Egyptian astronomer Sosigenes of Alexandria, using the ancient Egyptian system of a 365-1/4 day year, and introduces a leap (bissextile) year every 4 years, with a bissextile day added in Feb. (originally Feb. 24, the sixth day before the calends of March, reckoned twice, later changed to Feb. 29); it is quite accurate, slipping by only 3 days every 400 years, plus another 1 day every 3,323 years (11 min. 14 sec. per year), and isn't officially adjusted for 1,627 years (Oct. 15, 1582 C.E.), by which time it has slipped by 12.692 days - and everybody calls himself Christian?

In -40 Formiae-born Roman architect-engineer Marcus Vitruvius Pollio (-80 to 16) (who dies during the reign of Augustus) writes De Architectura Libri Decem (Ten Books on Architecture), the first modern engineering handbook, an encyclopedia of Augustan architecture from engineering and sanitation to acoustic vases, discussing the Vitruvian Water Wheel, the first record of a vertical undershot (water below) waterwheel, featuring 5:1 gearing for better grinding, and mentioning gold amalgam (gold dissolved in mercury); used by Leonardo da Vinci to make his Vitruvian Man (1487 C.E.).

So divideth the B.C.E., the Don't-Say-B.C.-Before-Christ Butt Crack of Eternity (Before Common Era) from the C.E., the Don't-Say-A.D.-Anno-Domini-Year-of-the-Lord-Christ Scratch-and-Dent-Sale Common Era?

In the 1st cent. C.E. only nine chemical elements are known, vs. 12 in 1500, 84 in 1900, and 100 in 1953 (year of TLW's birth) - maybe it's a govt. coverup?

Speaking of one thing they couldn't cover up. In the murky years of the 1st cent. C.E. a gigantic blow was dealt to Science and Technology with the advent of a new religion called Christinsanity, er, Christianity, whose Aramaic-speaking Jewish founder Jesus Christ of Nazareth (-4 to 33) left no writings, works of art, statues, buildings, swords, armor, bling, portraits, descendants, or even newspaper accounts, worse, no body, because he was allegedly resurrected from the dead by God on Easter, visiting his believers for 40 days before being translated to Heaven, and now sits at God's right hand waiting to return and judge the world and everybody who ever lived, leaving it to his 12 Disciples to spread the word that he wasn't just a man but the Son of God, whatever that means, most followers apparently taking him for God himself, despite the intractable philosophical difficulties that rocked the Church for centuries. To become a Christian ("little Christ") and live with Christ forever in his Kingdom of Heaven, believers must take everything about him on faith, which is good since they don't have to learn Aramaic or any history other than that in the Greek New Testament, consisting of the Four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) and the Acts of the Apostles, and no theology other than that in the Epistles of Paul, Epistles of Peter, Epistle of James, Epistle of Jude, and Epistles of John, or any eschatology other than that in the Book of Revelation. No, there's no final exam, because all new believers must do is undergo Baptism, which causes them to be "born again" as a symbol of future resurrection like Christ's. Sorry, but learning math, science, or technology doesn't matter to the fate of a Christian's soul, so no wonder the Christian world completely junked those subjects, especially as all useful works were written by pagans, who they thought were pawns of the Devil, and even more so because they thought that Christ would return any day and end the world itself. It took over a thousand years for Christians to get tired enough of waiting for Deadbeat Dad to begin to think about going back to the study of Nature as a way to help themselves, and those who did had the moral low ground, especially when they confused science with astrology and magic, and had to get translations of ancient Greek mss. from the infidel Muslims and heretic Byzantines.

About 50 C.E. Roman brain man Aulus Cornelius Celsus (-25 to 50) dies, leaving De Medicina (8 vols.), which becomes the #1 medical text of the ancient Romans, with info. about diet, drugs, surgery, describes the "dilated tortuous veins" surrounding a breast cancer, causing Galen to later give cancer (Lat. crab) its name, describing four clinical stages of evolution of breast cancer, starting with cacoethes (benign lesion), recommending teatment first by caustics followed by surgical excision and cauterization for this stage only, warning against doing it for the other three stages because it might "irritate" the process and kill the patient; he also advises against removal of the pectoral muscles along with the breast; Bk. 3 addresses mental diseases - his image bears a striking resemblance to Jesus, er, naw?

In 70 C.E. Greek mathematician-engineer Heron (Hero) of Alexandria (b. 10) dies, leaving Mechanics and Optics, describing the principle of the shortest path of light, the Babylonian method for computing square roots, and Heron's Formula for finding the area of a triangle from its sides, also the design of the first vending machine, which delivers holy water for a coin; Pneumatics, describing Heron's Steam Engine (Aeolipile), with two jets that makes it rotate on its axis, a wind wheel that operates an organ (the first wind-powered machine?), a water pump for fire engines, and the syringe - put that all together and see what kind of party you can throw?

Help stop gingivitis before it starts? On Aug. 25, 79 C.E. Roman historian Pliny the Elder (b. 23) dies in Stabiae, Campania while attemping the rescue by ship of a friend and his family from the Mt. Vesuvius eruption after the wind won't allow his ship to leave the shore (vulcanized?), leaving Natural History (Historia Naturalis) (Historia Naturalis) (37 vols.), which contains all the known science of the day, incl. astronomy (attacking magic), geography, anthropology, zoology, botany, agriculture, pharmacology, metallurgy and mineralogy incl. Roman gold and copper mining, and a history of Greek and Roman painting and sculpture, also info. on the art of soapmaking, learned from the Gallic Celts, who make a mixture of tallow and wood ashes which they call saipo, and use to wash their long wild hair; mentions Escargo as an elite food; devotes a chapter to people of great longevity, incl. consul M. Valerius Corvinos, who lived to 100, Cicero's wife Terentia, who lived to 103, a woman named Clodia, who lived to 115 and had 15 children, and actress Lucceia, who performed on stage at age 100, with the soundbyte: "Nature has, in reality, bestowed no greater blessing on man than the shortness of life. The senses become dull, the limbs torpid, the sight, the hearing, the legs, the teeth, and the organs of digestion, all of them die before us"; in 1469 it becomes the first scientific book to be printed in the West with the Gutenberg printing press: "In vino veritas" (In wine there is truth); "True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written and in writing what deserves to be read"; "Among these things but one thing seems certain: that nothing certain exists, and that nothing is more pitiable or more presumptuous than man."

In 90 C.E. Greek physician (with the Roman army) Pedanius Dioscorides (40-90) dies, leaving De Materia Medica (5 vols.), containing 600+ animal, vegetable, and mineral remedies, and describing 500 plants, preserving their Dacian and Thracian names; the book is used until the 17th cent. C.E.

In the 2nd cent. C.E. the Mayans build the city of Lakamha ("big water") in modern-day Palenque, Chiapas, Mexico, with 1.5K bldgs. and a pop. of 6K, incl. an intricate water mgt. system; they discover vulcanization of rubber and produce bouncy rubber balls, rubber sandals, etc.?

About 100 C.E. the Chinese begin using crushed chrysanthemum flowers (active ingredient pyrethrum) to kill insects, becoming the first Insecticide.

In 105 Chinese eunuch Cai Lun (T'sai-lun) (50-121) invents felted sheeted fiber paper made of tree bark, hemp, cloth rags, and fishing nets, replacing bamboo and silk tablets - this gives the Jesus Christ scam away, since if he really was the Son of God, and needed his message spread fast, he would have invented papermaking, printing presses, and maybe copyright and trademark protection for his new world-domination church instead of relying on godless heathens to do it for him, and blind luck to transmit the knowledge to his believers?

In 120 C.E. Chinese astronomer Zhang (Chang) Heng (78-139) pub. Ling Xian, which describes solar and lunar eclipses, and supports the theory that the Moon reflects sunlight; "The Sun is like fire and the Moon like water: the fire gives out light and the water reflects it." In 132 C.E. he invents the first Seismograph, a bronze urn with dragon mouths that drop a ball in the direction of the earthquake into the mouth of a bronze frog.

In 132 C.E. Roman emperor (since 117) Hadrian (75-138) begins the Temple of Jupiter Capitolinus in Jerusalem on the site of the ruined Jewish Holy Temple, center of everything that is Jewish, with a dangly statue of a naked man-god and everything that Jehovah is against, sparking the Bar Kokhba (Kochba) Uprising of Simon (Shimon) Bar Kokhba (Kochba) (Heb. "Son of a Star") (real name Bar/Ben Kosiba or Kozebah) against Rome in Judea (ends 135), whose guerrilla fighters surprise the Roman legions, take over Judea, set up an independent nation, and try to rebuild the Temple of Jerusalem; the old fortress of Herodium near Bethlehem is briefly reoccupied; Bar Kokhba overstamps Roman coins to make Jewish ones; pissed-off Hadrian decides to make an example of the pesky Jews and sends 12 divs. from as far away as Britain to totally wipe them out of Judea, along with his best generals; meanwhile Bar Kochba's rebels are only a minority of the Jewish pop., who seem to have been getting along with the Romans and just wanted to make money and live the good life?

In 135 C.E. the Romans under troubleshooter gen. Sextus Julius Severus (gov. of Britain in 131-3) put down the pesky Bar Kokhba Revolt (begun 132); the Jews' butts are kicked bigtime, and 600K are killed, 900 villages are destroyed, and Jerusalem is plowed with oxen; Hadrian issues an edict ordering the Jews expelled from Israel (only permitted to enter Jerusalem once a year), completing the Jewish Diaspora (Heb. "Tefutzah" = scattered), the dispersion of the pesky oddball square-peg-in-a-round-hole Jews throughout the Roman Empire; Judea is renamed Syria-Palestina (coined by Herodotus), and the way is now clear for the spreading of the name Jah-Zeus (Jehovah-Zeus) (Jesus) by the empire-wide Catholic (universal, as in get all the pagans to join the Church no matter how much the original faith has to be diluted) conspiracy, when his real name was Yeshua, and being too Jewish it's now un-PC; Rabbi Akiva ben Joseph (50-135) is executed by the Romans after teaching the Torah in public after the revolt, leaving Sepher Yetsirah (Sefer Yezira) (Book of Creation), which goes with the Sepher Hazzohar (Book of Brightness) (Dan. 12:3) of his contemporary Simeon bar Jochai (Yochai), and teaches the mystical pantheistic Qabala (Qabbala) (Kabbala) (Kabbalah) (Cabala) (Cabbala) (Heb. "to receive, welcome"), in which there is no Creation, and Nature is due to the self-development of Adam Kadmon (first or ideal man), who is the absolute being God, who created the Universe via the 10 Sefiroth (numbers or principles), incl. the Spirit of God, the emanations of air, water, and fire, three spatial dimensions to the left, and three to the right; the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet determine the forms through which Creation can be understood by the human mind; its mystical numerology intrigues and undermines mystics, philosophers, and scientists until ? - man does not live by bread alone but by every word of whom?

In 159 C.E. Greek #1 physician Galen (Claudius Galenus) (Gk. "healer") (131-201) is appointed to the gymnasium attached to the Temple of Asclepius in Pergamum, Mysia (modern-day Bergama, Turkey), where he does animal (not human) dissections and goes on to establish that arteries carry blood and not air, and that blood is created in the liver, first using the pulse as a diagnostic tool; he elaborates on Hippocrates' vital humor theory that the body contains four vital fluids or humors (blood, yellow bile, black bile, phlegm), and that disease is due to an imbalance, pioneering the use of ligatures and becoming known as "the king of the catgut suture", viewing pus as beneficial; he views cancer as a result of melancholia caused by an excess of black bile, proven by its frequent occurrence in postmenopausal females, recommending surgical excision of a cancerous breast through healthy tissue to make sure that not "a single root" is left behind, discouraging ligatures and cautery to allow drainage of black bile; he leaves a physiological model of the human body that becomes the std. for anatomy for cents.; he leaves 500+ works (10M words) written down by 20 scribes, representing half of all lit. from ancient Greece to survive to modern times; too bad, little is translated into Latin, so that only the Byzantines read it until the Muslim Abbasids (750-) tr. some of it into Arabic, and only after the fall of Constantinople to the Muslims in 1453 do Greek scholars head W with his mss., incl. Ars Medica, which tries to preserve the Greek attribution of mental properties to bodily functions; On the Passions and Errors of the Soul; De Motu Musculorum (2 vols.), which explains the difference between motor and sensory nerves, mentions muscle tone, and differentiates agonists from antagonists; That the Best Physician is Also a Philosopher, and On the Natural Faculties (De Naturalibus Facultatibus) (3 vols.), which is pub. in London in 1523 - and Vicodin is cool to pop? About 200 he discovers Cold Cream, containing olive oil, beeswax, rose petals, and water.

In 168 Egyptian-born Greek mathematician-astronomer Claudius Ptolemy (90-168) dies in Alexandria, Egypt, leaving Almagest (Arab. "Great Compilation) (original title "Astronomical System"), a 13-vol. system of mathematical astronomy placing the Earth at the center of a static Universe, which is accepted by both the Christian and Muslim worlds until the Christian Renaissance; he also leaves Geography (Geographical Guidance), which incl. a map of the known world with coordinates given, incl. the oldest known map of Ireland, and The Tetrabiblos (Apotelesmatika), a comprehensive work on astrology that becomes a std. work for 1K years, arguing that it is a natural and beneficial study.

A gynecologist with a sore anus took a hypocritical oath? In the 2nd cent. C.E. Greek physician Soranus of Ephesus dies, leaving "On Acute and Chronic Diseases" (describing the Guinea Worm), "Treatise on Gynecology" (4 vols.), "De Anima" (4 vols.) (which divides the soul into seven parts and denies its immortality), "Two Treatises on Pharmacy", and The Life of Hippocrates [fl. 400 B.C.E.], the earliest surviving bio. and source of most info. on him.

About 200 the Roman army invents the Roman Army Knife, made of silver with iron blades, featuring spoon, fork, spike, spatula, and toothpick.

About the 3rd cent. C.E. Jewish physician Asaf ha Jehudi (Asaph the Jew) leaves a ms. (oldest known medical work in Hebrew) teaching that the blood circulates through the arteries and veins, which is lost until modern times - he was afraid they'd think he had hairy palms?

In 224-383 C.E. the Bakhshali Manuscript, written on birch bark near the village of Bakhshali, India (modern-day Madan, Pakistan) contains the first known use of the zero symbol, a black dot; discovered in 1881.

In 230 the Wheelbarrow with Sails is invented in China.

In 275 the Roman Empire was partitioned into East and West for convenience, and in 313 Roman emperor (306-337) Constantine (Gr. "steadfast") I (the Great) (Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantius) (271-337) made it officially Christian, founding Constantinople in 330. Too bad, the split hardened permanently, fed by the Greek vs. Latin thang, obviously the Greek-speaking Byzantines were smarter than the Latin dumbasses, despite their pope claiming to be the #1 bishop of Christendom, don't talk to me anymore, and for the rest of the 4th cent. C.E. the Roman Empire tore itself apart with a 3-way civil war between pagans on the one hand, and the two main Christian divisions of Athanasians and Arians on the other: winner: Athanasians. Too bad, the German pagan barbarian Goths threatening the entire empire were converted to Arian, giving religious war a new dimension.

In 284 Greek mathematician ("Father of Algebra") Diophantus of Alexandria (200-84) dies, leaving Arithmetica, founding the study of Diophantine equations.

About 350 Pappus of Alexandria (290-350) dies, leaving his Mathematical Collection, describing the cogwheel, lever, pulley, screw, and wedge, summarizing mathematical knowledge, and proposing geometrical theorems incl. Pappus' Hexagon Theorem in projective geometry, becoming the last important Greek scientist.

In the 4th cent. (3rd?) (5th?) C.E. Chinese mathematician Sun Tzu (Sun Zi) flourishes, leaving Sun Tzu Suan Ching (Sun Tzu's Calculation Classic), containing the how-many-eggs-in-my-basket Chinese Remainder Theorem. Early in the 4th cent. C.E. the Chinese invent the Stirrup.

In 386 Chinese astronomers witness a supernova.

In the 5th cent. C.E. steel is made in China from wrought iron and cast iron; also the Umbrella is invented, and the Chinese print full pages of characters using a single woodblock; they also invent true ink made from lampblack. Also the word "chemistry" is coined by Alexandrian scholars - it's definitely time for the Science-fearing Christians to burn their library?

In 410 after deposed emperor Honorius regains power, Visigoth king Alaric I and his 40K-man army march down Italy yet one more time, depose and imprison puppet Attalus, then after a short siege marked by on-again-off-again negotiations enter through the Salarian Gate and sack Rome (say again?) on Aug. 24-27, leaving churches alone since they're still Christians, if heretic Arians, then after the emperor refuses to negotiate they head S towards Italy's granary in N Africa, and Alaric I dies on the way to Sicily after losing his fleet and being turned back, and is buried in the bed of the Busento River; his brother-in-law Ataulf (Athaulf) (Ataulphus) (-415) succeeds him, vowing to destroy the very name of Rome (home of the heretic Nicean Council crowd of bishops?), causing head bishop Pope Innocent I to leave the city until 412; the woes of the prostrate city cause St. Augustine of Hippo (354-430) in North Africa to produce his 22-vol. escapist work (about a holy Augustus ruling an invincible holy city of Rome?) The City of God, as the real City of God is no longer able to protect what's left of the Catholic Western Roman Empire from the heavy G.I. Joe and hairy Barbie-doll barbed Arians (barbarians)?; he at first claims "Behold, from Adam all the years have passed, and behold the 6,000 years are completed", but as the world shows no signs of ending he teaches that the Church should ditch the Book of Revelation because the Kingdom of God has actually arrived with its new political power, and imagines the Church as a worldwide empire acting as the instrument of the Holy Spirit to gradually transform the world, but preaches that the heavenly New Jerusalem should be the goal rather than the earthly one; he pushes the doctrine of "Totus Ubique" (the whole of God everywhere), invents the notion of the inner self, explores the inner relationship between the soul and God along with the idea of divine grace, and all with the cool language of a Roman-trained rhetorician, dissing the holier-than-thou Donatists by claiming that saints and sinners should all be part of the Catholic Church, and will be separated at the End of Time, with the mystical secret brotherhood of saints forming the City of God, and the sinners forming the Twin City of Hell; "That which man builds man destroys, but the city of God is built by God and cannot be destroyed by man", its role being "to inspire men and women to organize their communities in the image and likeness of the heavenly city"; the operational message is that Christians should get out and convert violent barbarians, with education relegated to survey courses on classical lit. (science and technology - fuggedaboutit), giving the Roman Catholic Church its Mission: Impossible for the next six cents.; too bad, his work is later used to justify persecution of heretics and Jews because membership in the Church is mandatory. In short, Da Dark Ages.

About 410-29 Roman pagan (Christian?) writer Martianus Minneus Felix Capella of Carthage writes The Marriage of Mercury and Philosophy (The Marriage of Philology and Mercury), a potpourri of allegorical classical wisdom, and the Encyclopedia of the Seven Arts, defining the trivium (grammar, logic, rhetoric) and quadrivium (arithmetic, geometry, music, astronomy) categories of education, which lead to serious study of philosophy and theology, and ends up ruling Western education all the way to the Renaissance; he leaves medicine and law out of the trivium since they are "earthly", i.e., applied not pure sciences.

In Mar. 415 after Alexandrian bishop (since 412) (St.) Cyril of Alexandria (376-444) expels the Jews from Alexandria, Greek mathematician-astronomer-philosopher Hypatia of Alexandria (b. 370), the Neoplatonist librarian of Alexandria, who supports Orestes, pagan prefect of Alexandria for opposing persecution of pagans and Jews is jumped in her chariot, stripped naked, and dragged through the streets to the newly-depaganized Caesareum Church, and murdered by a mob of Coptic Christian monks (from Nitria?) led by Peter (working for Archbishop Cyril under the influence of Pulcheria), ending the Hellenistic Age; her skin is scraped off with sharpened oyster shells and she is set on fire while still alive?; the first burning by Christians of a witch?; meanwhile St. Augustine writes "The true image of the Hebrew is Judas Iscariot, who sells the Lord for silver. The Jew can never understand the Scriptures and forever will bear the guilt for the death of Jesus."

In 451-2 after the Romans and Visigoths temporarily united to make a stand, the hordes of horseback pagan Huns led by 3'5" Attila (Gothic for "little father"?) the Hun (the Mundzuk) (406-53) were thrown out after gutting what was left of the tottering Western Roman Empire, and it could be stuck with a fork, only lasting another 25 years as the Italian Peninsula was so depopulated that they began relying on Visigoth soldiers, who finally took over without firing an arrow.

In Aug. 476 Flavius Odoacer (Odovacer) (435-93), Herulian Visigoth chief gen. of the Germanic tribes in the Roman army leads a revolt over a baksheesh matter (free homes in Italy), captures Ravenna, and kills Orestes in Pavia; on Sept. 4 (Sept. 7 Gregorian) (Mon.) Romulus Augustus (461-77?) (AKA Augustulus), the boy emperor of Rome in Ravenna becomes the Last Roman Emperor of the West as he is deposed and exiled to the castle of Lucullus in Campania in S Italy (with 6K pieces of gold per annum allowance) by Odoacer, who proclaims himself Roman emperor of the West, petitioning Emperor Zeno to recognize him as a patrician and ruler of Italy on behalf of the Eastern Empire; Zeno accepts on the last part, but insists that exiled Julian Nepos (d. 480) remain Roman emperor, which he does, on coins; Odoacer uses the old Roman law of hospitality providing for the quartering of Roman soldiers to force Roman landowners to surrender a third of their estates for use by his soldiers; many non-aristocratic Romans welcome the new boss because he will abolish the taxation and police system, while aristocratic Romans in Gaul circle the wagons and create private armies; 753 + 476 - 1 = 1228?; the Dark Ages begin as 1.2K years of progress of civilization becomes kaput in Europe thanks to barbarians and Christian hostility to paganism, which to them incl. all pagan scientific, literary, historical, and cultural works, making all scientists forever suspect of being in league with the Devil by the Christian masses, an impediment that ends in ?, and the very idea of wanting to live for "the world" when the Kingdom of Heaven is dangled in front of your eyes to seem pointless?; "So it was in utter social decay and collapse that the great slave-holding 'world-ascendency' of the god-Caesars and the rich men of Rome came to an end" (H.G. Wells, Ch. 37) - so who is the last emperor, Romulus Augustus or Nepos?

After the Western Roman Empire falls, the new Visigoth masters of Italy, Gaul, Spain, and North Africa aren't into Science much, and as they were themselves squeezed by more German barbarians and Byzantine armies, Europe descends into the Dark Ages, where literacy is almost kaput, and money disappears, requiring barter; the onset of the Muslim Great Jihad in the 600s closes the last doors; literacy survives mainly in outlying monasteries in Ireland that only copy religious lit.

In 499 C.E. Hindu superbrain Aryabhata (476-550) writes the Sanskrit verse Aryabhatiya, divided into 4 parts: "Celestial Harmonies", "Elements of Calculation", "On Time and its Measures", and "Spheres"; Aryabhata advances the theory that the Earth rotates on its axis, gives the correct explanation for eclipses of the Sun and Moon, the value of pi as 3.1416, and solves the quadratic equation with the first known use of algebra; "The Moon consists of water, the Sun of fire, the Earth of earth, and the Earth's shadow of darkness. The Moon obscures the Sun and the great shadow of the Earth obscures the Moon"; too bad there's nobody left in the Ever-Saved West who cares enough to say goodbye or hello?; in 629 Hindu mathematician Bhaskara I (600-80) writes a verse commentary, first using the decimal number system and making it known to Indian scholars.

In the 6th cent. C.E. algebra and the decimal system are developed in India and Mesopotamia. Also the Heavy Plow comes into use in Slavic lands. Also the Breast Strap for horses comes into use in Germany. Also Arab physicians regularly prescribe cannabis for all sorts of maladies.

In 522 Greek Nestorian monk Cosmas Indicopleustes ("he who sailed to India") begins traveling this year from one end of the habitable world to the other, and ends up in Alexandria in 535, writing the narrative Christian Topography (535-47), claiming that he has personally proved that the Earth is not a globe, but has one oblong temperate zone of 400 days journey in length and 200 days in breadth, encompassed by the ocean and covered by the solid crystal firmament; his work becomes the state of the art of Dark Ages geography, holding back exploration for a millennium?

About 550 the Water Mill is invented in Greece.

These boots are made for walking? In 552 the Byzantines gain the secrets of Sericulture (silk production) via the smuggling of silkworm eggs from China by Persian monks (from Nanking?) in a hollow cane after going to Constantinople first to get some encouragement and baksheesh from Emperor Justinian I.

In 577 Northern (Bei) Zhou Dynasty women in China invent Matches, pyrotechnic chemical-tipped wood sticks ignited by friction.

In 589 the first written record of Toilet Paper in China by Buddhist scholar Yan Zhitui (531-91); "Paper on which there are quotations or commentaries from Five Classics or the names of sages, I dare not use for toilet purposes"; in 851 an Arab Muslim traveler disses them for using paper instead of water after going to the bathroom - not that kind of record, a written record?

In 632 Arab madass warlord prophet Muhammad (570-632) died after creating a new monotheistic religion crossing Judaism, Christianity, and uniquely Arab Allah (Moon god?) worship and ethnically cleansing the Arabian Peninsula, after which his followers launched a takeover attempt of the whole world, starting with Persia, Syria, Egypt, and the Holy Land, which they conquered by 642. The Muslim conquest of Europe sputtered in 732 when they were thrown out of France by Christian hero Charles Martel the Hammer (686-741), grandfather of Charlemagne (742-814). The Great Jihad is still theoretically on today since Allah's commands are set in stone, it's just that the great majority of modern Muslims are pikers who are satisfied with holding past gains. Too bad, Muhammad's infallible Quran combined with his personal example gave divine authority to the most retro social-moral system of the Middle Ages, incl. polygamy, slavery, male supremacy, and subjection of believers in other religions, maybe he was right and a man's testimony is worth that of two women, like it takes two women co-stars to substitute for a male star, like Geena Davis and Susan Surandon in "Thelma and Louise", I now pronounce you husband and wives, Brad Pitt may kiss the brides. In conquering the Zoroastrian Persians, Alexandrian Egyptians, and Byzantine cities, the Muslims captured a number of ancient Greek mss. on Science and Technology, and translated them into Arabic, launching Muslim Science, check out the one-sided Islam history ignoramus Ben Kingsley vids and get back with me about the whopping total of two Muslim Nobel Prize winners for Science out of a pop. 1.x billion, compared to only two Jews, one cripple, and one black. Actually, a total of three Nobels for intellectual (non-political) categories, one for every 450M Muslims alive today, compared to 169 for Jews, one for every 89K, that's a ratio of 5K. Christians fall in the middle. What happened? For Christians, it was the rise of the Roman Catholic Church and its suppression of all free thought that caused it to hold back the rise of Science and stink itself up because all works of ancient pagans, incl. Greek and Roman scientists were considered works of the Devil and banned, like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Ironically, the Church even suppressed other Christians, particularly those who wanted the Bible alone to be their authority, not Church synods (they later split off permanently as the Protestants starting in 1517). The Muslims, on the other hand, went on for centuries without Science like them, but finally created an elite cadre in Spain (Al-Andalus) and another in Mesopotamia at the House of Wisdom in Baghdad (830) funded by the caliphs, who translated and studied the captured wisdom of da ancient infidels, the land that time forgot, enjoy the scenery just don't upset the natives, and actually advanced Science a bit, about to the modern pre-calculus high school level, no, the 5th grader level, starting with Abu Yusuf Ya'qub ibn Ishaq al-Kindi (801-73) (AKA Alkindus) in Baghdad, who supervised the translation project and introduced Indian numerals to the Islamic world, which made their way to the Christian world and were called Arabic numerals. He stole them from Hindu mathematician Bhaskara I (600-80), who in 629 wrote a verse commentary to the "Aryabhatiya" (499), first using the decimal number system and making it known to Indian scholars. The 499 work was written by Hindu superbrain Aryabhata (476-550), who advanced the theory that the Earth rotates on its axis, gave the correct explanation for eclipses of the Sun and Moon, the value of pi as 3.1416, and solved the quadratic equation with the first known use of algebra, with the soundbyte "The Moon consists of water, the Sun of fire, the Earth of earth, and the Earth's shadow of darkness. The Moon obscures the Sun and the great shadow of the Earth obscures the Moon." Now that the scholars had their Kindles, they ramped things up between their quintuple daily prayer breaks, with Muhammad al-Khwarizmi (780-850) developing algebra (Arabic for restoration), Abu Bakr Muhammad al-Razi (865-925) ("the Islamic Hippocrates") et al. developing medicine and alchemy (Arabic for art of transformation) (the start of chemistry), Alhazen (Abu Ali al-Hasan ibn al-Hasan ibn al-Haytham) (965-1038) of Egypt (who tried to lay low from the caliphs by feigning madness) founding modern optics, and Avicenna (Ibn Sina) (980-1037) of Persia becoming their best all-around raghead brain man. Too bad, it's pretty hard to engage in a laborious lab research project when you have to stop and pray 1-2-3-4-5 times a day to the non-existent Blaalah while Islamic police hold scimitars over your necks, and since religious dictators control society, any and every advance you make is immediately subjected to scrupulous examination for potential heresy, which they call Bid'ah ("innovation"), plus why aren't you out there with everybody else, Abdul, killing infidels for Allah, what are you, a draft evader? Actually, the general Muslim pop. always hated and feared Muslim scientists, as they do now, and they could only do it under the protection of a powerful ruler. As De Lacy O'Leary (1872-1957) put it: "Islam generally had its own wise men, men learned in jurisprudence, tradition, and Qur'an. These were universally respected with ungrudging esteem, such as was never rendered to the scientists who were only tolerated because they were under state protection. It very much tempers our estimate of Arabic learning to remember that scientific and philosophical scholarship was confined to one privileged coterie." Until the West began taking over in the Renaissance, both the Islamic and Christian worlds accepted Ptolemy's 2nd cent. C.E. Almagest ("Great Compilation") that claimed that the Earth is the center of the Universe and everything else revolves around it, let's make a muscle, make a difference, and flex for MDA, they were neck-in-neck in astronomical stupidity while claiming to have pipelines to God. Speaking of Islam killing not incubating Science, around 1100 Persian Sunni Sufi mystic theologian Abu Hamid Muhammad al-Ghazali (1058-1111) started a reaction against ancient Greek and Roman learning, launching the theory of Occasionalism, to the effect that all cause and effect is determined not by scientific laws but by Allah and his angels, with the soundbyte "A clumsy and stupid person must be kept away from the seashore, not the proficient swimmer, and a child must be prevented from handling a snake, not the skilled snake-charmer", along with the soundbyte: "The gates of ijtihad (rational debate) in Islam are now closed", meaning that perfection had been reached in both social and spiritual philosophy, hence the conservatives rule and the rationalists are out, causing an Islamic theocracy to be built up which regarded the very concept of scientific laws as an affront to Allah and an infringement of his freedom to act, after which Islam became kaput as an engine of science, and only kept a few engineers around to build butt bombs. Hence, Islam had its chance to prove to the world that it was the leader in science and technology who would turn Earth into a paradise, and blew it bigtime, forever proving it to be the opposite, watch that pothole it might contain an IED, which to be fair puts it on a par with the horrible mean Roman Catholic Church, let's rack 'em up, it seems like the Devil takes over all big organizations after enough time, which is why the little guy has to know who's at the top, God or the Devil, and bypass the organization as necessary to get to the real dude. Not that it's all the Muslims' fault. The House of Wisdom was destroyed by the Mongols of Hulagu Khan in 1258, after which the waters of the Tigris River ran black for 6 mo. from all the ink from the ruined books. In the 1420s brain man and future Persian Mongol Timurid sultan (1447-9) Ulugh Beg (1393-1449) (grandson of Tamerlane) founded the Samarkand (Ulugh Beg) Observatory, which had instruments to measure precise star positions, becoming the last great Muslim observatory, compiling books of trigonometric tables of sine and tangent values accurate to 8 decimal places; despite science being all-but dead in the Muslim World, thanks to the headlock of the Church, Muslim science remained far ahead of Christendom until about 1600, and I think by now we know that no Bible-thumping religion can claim credit, only scientists who braved the Bible-thumpers, which became easier to do in Christendom because Jeezy never said kill infidels like Muhammad did. In summary, as Pakistani nuclear physicist Pervez Amirali Hoodbhoy (1950-) recently put it, for the last 700 years Islam and Science have "parted ways", and even today Muslims tend to go into engineering rather than science since it strains their belief system less.

In the 8th cent. Gunpowder is invented in Tang Dynasty China, with the formula 15-3-2 parts saltpeter-charcoal-sulfur; having the property of vigorously igniting when excposed to flame, it is dubbed the "elixir of immortality"?; it is first used for insect fumigants and skin disease treatments, then fireworks, after which it takes a cent. or two to use it in warfare? - the first manmade cis boom bah? In the 8th cent. the Still is invented in Europe. Also in the 8th cent. the Norse invent the Longship (Longboat), useful for cargo and war, christened with blood, with cool dragon heads; weighing half as much as a galley, they are powered by rowers and a square sail. Also in the 8th cent. Porcelain is invented in Tang Dynasty China. Also in the 8th cent. the primitive open hearth Catalan Forge for producing steel is invented in desperate shrinking Christian Spain in reaction to the pesky Muslim Moors, becoming the first important metallurgical advance in iron smelting since ancient times.

In 777 Muslim astronomer Ibrahim al-Fazari (b. ?) dies in Baghdad after inventing the Astrolabe (Gr. "astron" + "lab" = star + to take) for measuring the altitudes of celestial bodies, consisting of a sight hole, degree scale, calendar scale, and rotating alidade (diopter); it is not perfected until the 850s, and doesn't arrive in Europe until the 1050s.

In 782 Arab (al)chemist-physician ("Father of Arab Chemistry") Abu Musa Jabir (Geber) (Gebir) ibn Hayyan (721-815) begins to study chemistry as distinct from alchemy: calcination, oxidation, congelation, fixation, solution, digestion, distillation, evaporation, sublimation, separation, extraction, ceration, fermentation, putrefaction, propagation, projection. He dies after allegedly discovering methods for preparing sulfuric acid, nitric acid, aqua regia, and silver nitrate; by the 10th cent. 100+ anon. works are written using his name, after which Euro alchemists of the 12th and 13th cents. escape the Inquisition by doing ditto.

In 809 the first Public Hospital in the Muslim World is founded in Baghdad, and the institution spreads.

In 815 Jewish scholar Mashallah (b. ?) dies, leaving De Scientia Motus Orbis (later tr. from Arabic to Latin by Gerard of Cremona), and De Mercibus (On Prices), oldest known scientific work in the Arabic language.

In 820 Euclid's Elements becomes the first ancient mathematics trs. from Greek into Arabic by the House of Wisdom in Baghdad; meanwhile about this year Persian Muslim House of Wisdom mathematician Muhammad Ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi (780-850) pub. Al-kitab al-mukhtasar fi hisab al-gabr wa'l-muqabala (The Compendious Book on Calculation by Completion and Balancing), which is tr. into Latin in 1145 by Robert of Chester under the title Liber algebrae et almucabola, coining the terms "algebra" (Arab. "reuniting", "restoration"), "algorithm, and "x" for the uknown quantity, along with "sine" after mistranslating the Arabic word "jb" as bay or inlet, which becomes sinus in Latin.

In 828 the Astronomical System of 2nd cent. astronomer Ptolemy is trans. into Arabic under the title Almagest.

In 830 Caliph Ma'mun founds the Academy of Translations (House of Wisdom) in Baghdad; the main body of scholars are Christian Nestorians?

In 869 Arab Muslim adab (belles lettres) master Othman Amr al-Jahiz (776-869) dies, leaving The Book of Misers, The Book of Animals (proposing that life climbed "from mineral to plant, from plant to animal, from animal to man", and man might climb to angel and even God), and Elegance of Expression and Clarity of Exposition - the original Botox?

In 870 calibrated candles are used in England to measure time.

In 895 Arab Muslim scientist-historian Abu Hanifa al-Dinawari (815-95) dies, leaving Book of Plants (based on Discorides, with new plants added), and The Long Narratives (history of Persia).

In the 10th cent. the moldboard plow is invented in China.

In the 10th cent. Arab soldiers invent a niter-sulfur-copper flamethrower and a terra cotta-naphtha grenade.

About 900 C.E. Indian mathematician Sridhara (870-930) discovers the power of the zero (suro) ("seed") ("circle") (the Sun divinity incarnate?) - are you the fat one in the family?

In 912 Basra-born Arab Sunni Muslim theologian Abu al-Hasan al-Ashari (Ash'ari) breaks with Mutazalite teacher Abu 'Ali Muhammad al-Jubbai'i (-915) and the liberal Aristotelian Mutazilite School, and founds the fundamentalist Neoplatonist Ashari (Ash'ari) (Kalam) School of Islam, which rejects freewill and the rationality of God, and becomes dominant in Islam, later leading to terrorists like Osama bin Laden who claim that because God is pure will and power, and above reason, there is no barrier to mandatory violence. In 915 Saadia Gaon (Saadia ben Joseph al-Fayyumi) leaves Egypt for Babylonia, setting up a Jewish Mental Ashcan School that clones the arguments of Abu al-Hasan al-Ashari to smother Jewish philosophy and skepticism.

Stay busy, stay beautiful, no sweat? Since Jeezy didn't come back, maybe it's time to figure out how to sweat a living out of the ground more efficiently? About 920 the Horse Collar comes into use in Europe, permitting horses to replace oxen, increasing food production; the Horseshoe permits all-terrain and all-weather horse use.

In 925 Persian #1 Muslim physician ("the Islamic Hippocrates") Abu Bakr Muhammad Ibn Zakariya al-Razi (Rhazes) (854-925) dies after becoming the first to use mercurial ointment, animal gut for sutures, and plaster of Paris for casts, leaving 131 books, incl. the 20-vol. Kitab al-Hawi (Liber Continens), containing a pharmacopeia, listing 50 methods of contraception; Treatise on Smallpox and Measles, the first accurate study of infectious diseases, and first to diagnose the difference between smallpox and measles; Kitab al-Mansuri (Liber Almansoris) (9 vols.); vol. 9 "Nonus Almansoris" is popular in Europe until the 16th cent. He goes on to become one of the top two Muslim medical writers studied at the U. of Paris along with Avicenna.

In 929 Arab astronomer Muhammad al-Battani (b. 858) dies, leaving On Stellar Motion, which accurately calculates planetary movements, and gives the precession of the equinoxes as 54.5 sec. a year, and the inclination of the ecliptic as 23 deg. 55 min.

In 976 Persian Muslim brain man Muhammad ibn Ahmad al-Khwarizmi (al-Balkhi) pub. Keys of the Sciences (Mafatih al-Ulum), which recommends using a little circle in calculations "to keep the rows"; the Arabic word "sifr" (empty) is translated into cipher, also zephyrum, which the Italians shorten to zero.

In 976 the Codex Vigilanus (Albeldensis) illuminated ms. is completed in the Monastery of Abelda in Pamplona, becoming the earliest known Western ms. containing the Arabic numerals 1-9 (no zero), along with the canons of the Councils of Toledo and a copy of the Liber Judiciorum.

About 1000 Arab brain man Alhazen (Ibn Al-Haytham) (965-1039) invents the Camera Obscura (pinhole camera), and reverses Aristotle, correctly claiming that light comes from the object seen into the eye and not vice-versa. In 1011-21 he pub. Book of Optics (7 vols.), written in a dark cell under house arrest in Cairo; reverses Aristotle, who taught that light is physical, and Ptolemy, who taught that the eye emits light, with the experimental discovery that some objects are sources of primary light (which travels in straight lines) that are reflected by other objects; first accurate description of the camera obscura and pinhole camera; computes the height of the Earth's atmosphere as 49 mi. (real value 50 mi.)

In the 11th cent. the 3-Field System is adopted in Europe, becomingthe hat trick for a thousand years of progress out of the Dark Ages. In the 11th cent. Persians begin mixing chromium into their steel. In the 11th cent. gears become common in the Arab world, used with water wheels and water clocks.

In 1025 Muslim brain man Avicenna (Ibn Sina) (980-1037) of Persia writes Al-Qanun fi at-Tibb (The Canon of Medicine) (5 vols.), which synthesizes Greek and Arab medicine, basing medicine on experiment and reason, dominating backward Western medicine until the mid-17th cent. In June 1037 he dies, leaving Kitab al-Shifa (Kitab ash-Shifa bi ta'rif huquq al Mustafa) (Book of Healing by the Explanation of the Rights of the Chosen One) (AKA Sufficientia) (18 vols.), an attempt to describe all scientific and philosophic knowledge; also Kitab al-Najat (Book of Salvation), an abridged vers. of the preceding, giving the "flying man argument" for the distinction between the body and soul, which must be strong enough to ensure its individuality, but weak enough to allow for its immortality; he also founds physiological psychology for the treatment of illnesses involving emotions, developing a system for associating changes in pulse rate with inner feelings, and developing the Tabula Rasa concept beyond Aristotle.

In 1030 after leaving Ghazni in modern-day Afghanistan in 1017 to tour India, Persian Shiite Muslim brain man Abu Rayhan Muhammad ibn Ahmad al-Biruni (al-Beruni) (973-1051) writes his masterpiece History of India (Kitab Tarikh al-Hind), which waxes lyrical about the Bhagavad Gita, becoming known as "the Father of Indology"; after uttering the soundbyte: "India has produced no Socrates; no logical method has there expelled fantasy from science", for funners he translated Euclid and Ptolemy into Sanskrit. In 1051 he dies in Ghazni, modern-day Afghanistan, leaving Kitab al Athar al Baikya, Kitab Tarikh al-Hind (History of India), Kitab at-Tafhim (Elements of Astrology), Kitab al-Qanun al-Mas'udi (The Mas'udi Canon) (major work on astronomy), and Kitab as-Saydalah (treatise on medical drugs), which uses Archimedes' Principle to calculate specific gravity; claims that the Earth rotates on its axis as well as around the Sun, but that the data can be equally well explained by the reverse hypothesis; speculates that the Indus Valley was once at the bottom of the sea; explains the working of artesian wells by the hydrostatic principle.

On July 4, 1054 Chinese astronomers note a "guest star" in the constellation Taurus, the star Zeta Thauri in the Crab Nebula (later known as a source of gamma rays); it is visible in daylight for 23 days and at night for two years; American aborigines see it, along with Arab astronomers, but no European records it, they're too busy with the Roman-Greek Catholic Church Schism, and King Macbeth's D at the hands of Duncan's son Malcolm - maybe this is a sign that a new country will be born on July 4 halfway to China in America, which will never be ruled by the ever-split Church?

In 1091 Walcher of Lorraine (Malvern) (later prior of Malvern Abbey) records observing lunar eclipses in Italy using an astrolabe, becoming the first observational astronomy in Christian Europe.

In 1065 Oliver of Malmesbury builds an airplane, and is killed testing it.

In 1066 Indian mathematician-astronomer Sripati (b. 1019) dies, leaving Dhikotidakarana (1039), a book on solar and lunar eclipses, and Dhruvamanasa (1056) on calculation of planetary longitudes, eclipses, and planetary transits; he also leaves Siddhantasekhara, about arithmetic, algebra, and calculations on the sphere, and Jyotisaratnamala, Jatakapaddhati (Sripatipaddhatih), and Daivajnavallabha, books on astrology.

In 1079 French conceptualist theologian-philosopher-lover (misunderstood and ahead of his time?) Peter Everhard, er, Peter Abelard (1079-1142) dies after becoming the #1 teacher in Paris, and leaning towards Aristotle over Plato, becoming a precursor of St. Thomas Aquinas. Too bad, he is castrated after getting into the pants of Heloise (1101-64) in 1117.

In 1081 Muslim astronomer Ibrahim al-Sahdi of Valencia builds the first known Celestial Globe, made of brass, 81.5 in. in diam. with 47 constellations and 1,015 stars along with magnitudes.

On May 25, 1085 the Castilian Christians under king (since 1072) Alfonso VI the Brave (1037-1109) recaptured Toledo in C Spain from the Muslims, immensely advancing Christian knowledge of astronomy and reviving the theory of the sphericity of the Earth, laying the foundation for the Renaissance.

In 1086-90 the black Muslim Berber Almoravids (Al-Murabitun) (Al-Morabiton) (backward horsemen from the W Sahara, known for riding to war wearing veils that only leave their eyes visible) (new kids on the block in Morocco in 1040-1147) invade and conquer all of Spain between the Tagus and Ebro Rivers, thumping their Qurans and destroying what was left of the Muslim high culture incl. science, descending al-Andalus into pure retro science-hating head-lopping fundamentalist Muhammad darkness.

On Jan. 16, 1089 Chinese superbrain Su Song (1020-1101) finishes construction of the world's first astronomical clock.

In 1090 the first Water-Driven Mechanical Clock Tower is built in Peking, China.

In 1093 according to the Chinese, the Muslims first use a magnetic compass for navigation; the Muslims don't document it until 1282, after the Christians do it first in 1205.

Western Science began lurching only after the Big M (Millennium) (Year 1000) proved a disappointment when Christ didn't return to judge Da World despite All the Work They Did. You can almost see the cautious steps they took, like a baby coming out of the womb and stretching its umbilical cord as long as possible before breaking loose. Too bad, the first steps were to launch the Crusades in 1095 in a futile effort to take and hold Jerusalem from the sea of infidel Muslims as Christ's landing pad; they sputtered out in 1291 with the capture of their last base in Acre, leaving Jerusalem reduced to a village, with fewer Christian pilgrims than before the Crusades started, who experienced far less Muslim tolerance. The loss of Big J in 1187 to cool all-black-wearing Saladin (Sala-ha-din) (Salah al-Din Yusuf ibn Ayyub) (1138-93) was a case of denial, anger, guilt, and acceptance, they even circulated stories about how wise and even Christian the Kurdish Muslim warlord was.

In 1111 Persian #1 Sunni Sufi mystic theologian ("the St. Augustine and Immanuel Kant of Islam") Abu Hamid Muhammad al-Ghazali (Algazel) (1058-1111) dies in Tus, Khorasan after years spent trying to reconcile faith and reason, and rejecting reason, leaving Revivification (Revival) of Science of Religion (Ihya Ulum al-Din), integrating Sufism and Islam, and backing birth control, esp. coitus interruptus (onanism), with the woman's permission; on the other hand women don't need men's permission to use contraceptives such as suppositories and tampons; Deliverance from Error (autobio.), containing the soundbyte: "A clumsy and stupid person must be kept away from the seashore, not the proficient swimmer; and a child must be prevented from handling a snake, not the skilled snake-charmer"; The Incoherence (Destruction) of the Philosophers (Tahafut al-Falasifa), with the soundbyte: "The gates of ijtihad [rational debate] in Islam are now closed", shifting Islamic philosophy away from classic Greek and Roman learning to the doctrine of Occasionalism, which ditches scientific laws of cause and effect in favor of Allah and his angels, causing an Islamic theocracy to be built up that shuts down all scientific research as an affront to Allah and his freedom to act, after which the Muslim World takes a vacation from science until modern times; Sufism becomes accepted by the Muslim world, with Sufis living in fraternities under a sheik, and calling themselves dervishes (faqirs), practicing asceticism and feverish dancing.

About 1122 Greek Asia Minor slave Abu'l Fath al-Khuzini pub. Kitab Mizan al-Hikmah (Book of the Balance of Wisdom), summarizing Muslim knowledge of physics, incl. the lever, specific gravity, and gen. gravity as a universal force drawing all things toward the center of the Earth.

In 1125 Alexander Neckam (1157-1217) of England pub. De Utensilibus, the earliest account of the Mariner's Compass, allegedly invented by Flavio Gioja of Amalfi, Italy. Neckam uttered the immortal soundbyte: "Science is acquired at great expense, by frequent vigils, by great expenditure of time, by sedulous diligence of labor, by vehement application of mind."

In 1136 Jewish brain man Abraham ben Hiyya of Barcelona (1065-1136) (first to write scientific works in Hebrew rather than Arabic) dies, leaving Hibbur ha Meshihah, the #1 mathematical treatise of the cent., incl. algebra, geometry, and trigonometry; he also leaves the oldest surviving Hebrew treatise on the calendar, and a lost encyclopedia on astronomy, math, optics, and music.

On Feb. 11, 1144 Robert of Chester pub. Liber de Compositione Alchemiae (Book of the Composition of Alchemy), becoming the first book on alchemy in Europe.

In the late 12th cent. Muslim texts on ancient Greek philosophers and scientists begin to arouse interest in Europe, and within a cent. they are getting serious and shifting into high gear; meanwhile Caliph Mustanjid of Baghdad orders all the philosophical works of Avicenna and the Brethren of Sincerity burned, and by 1200 speculative thought is kaput in the Muslim World.

In the late 12th cent., pardon my French, the Aristotelians began to make ground against the Platonists as the univ. movement began in W Europe; too bad, the Scholastics (Schoolmen) treated Aristotle's writings as holy writ, hanging on to every crackpot scientific theory.

About 1150 Magister Salernus is pub. in Salerno, Italy, containing the first Euro mention of distillation of alcohol, from the Arabic word al-kohl meaning powder for painting the eyebrows.

There's always some border area where warring cultures can mix and share some technical info., and in the era of the Crusades it was the Norman kingdom of Sicily. Mapmaker Al-Idrisi starts something big but doesn't know it? In 1154 Abdu Abd Allah Mohammed (Muhammad) al-Idrisi (al-Idrissi) (1100-65), a Moroccan geographer in the service of Norman king Roger II of Sicily writes The Book of Roger, a geographical treatise based on Ptolemy with a Muslim Map of the World, showing S at the top, and inscribed on a silver sphere weighing 400 kg; he divides the Earth into seven climactic zones, and subdivides each zone into 10 parts, providing 70 detailed accurate maps; he claims that the Earth is spherical because an "equilibrium experiencing no variation" keeps it in balance; his map is later used by Columbus; a 2nd expanded ed. is pub. in 1161 titled "The Gardens of Humanity and the Amusement of the Soul" (now lost), followed by an abridged ed. in 1192 called "Little Idrisi".

In 1159 Paris Bishop Peter Lombard (1096-1160) pub. Sententiae Libri IV (Four Books of Opinions), founding formal Scholastic philosophy, an attempt to reconcile reason and faith in the face of growing numbers of skeptics and atheists; a compilation of the thought of Peter Abelard, it attempts to solve all theological and philosophical problems, dissing reason for the authority of the Bible, becoming the std. text in Paris for the next four cents., with 4K+ commentaries getting written on it, holding back the advance of rationalism for the next half-cent. until the arrival of Aristotle's works in Latin; Roger Bacon says that it has displaced the Bible itself.

In 1162 Spanish Muslim physician Avenzoar (Ibn Zuhr) (1094-1162) dies in Seville after having performed the first tracheotomy on a goat, leaving Book of Simplification on Therapeutics and Diet (Kitab al-Tasir), written at the request of his friend Averroes, who calls him the greatest physician since Galen; it covers clinical descriptions of pericarditis, mediastinal tumors, intestinal tuberculosis, and pharyngeal paralysis, describing the use of bezoar stones (gastroliths) as medicinal items, becoming a hit in Latin and Hebrew translation.

In 1169 Cordoba-born Spanish Muslim brain man Averroes (Abu'l Waleed or Abu al-Walid Muhammad ibn Rushd) (1126-98) begins writing on Aristotle's works in Arabic, stirring to keep their sanity and faith at the same time; too bad, he doesn't read Greek, and has to use Arab translations of Syriac translations of Aristotle; like other Muslim brain men he Neoplatonizes Aristotle, but doesn't stop with minimizing him to save the dogmas of Islam, but minimizes Islam to fit Aristotle, even discarding the Creation for an eternal Universe, causing the Muslim World to turn against him and destroy most of his works in Arabic form, which are only saved by the Jews, who hand them to Christians, who groove on his slamming of Muhammad's dogmas until they go too deep and become rationalists, heretics, or atheists. He becomes the first to explain the function of the retina, and to recognize acquired immunity with smallpox. He dies in 1198, leaving Encyclopedia of Medicine (Kitab al-Kuyat fi al-Tibb) (1161), which becomes a hit in the West, and Tuhafut al-Tuhafut (Destruction of the Destruction), a reply to al-Ghazili, saying that deep study of philosophy will lead one out of atheism, albeit after giving up the dogmas of literal religion, so that the rulers should protect them while they combat the bad philosophers, and that in the meantime the uneducated masses should be allowed to have literal religion, and that philosophers, who should only accept it symbolically shouldn't criticize it as long as they in turn are not harassed.

In 1180 Spanish Jewish historian-philosopher Abraham ibn Daud (Ben David) (1110-80) dies in Toledo, leaving Emunah Ramah (Sublime Faith), introducing and reconciling Aristotle to Judaism,which is taken up by Spanish-born Jewish brain man Moses Maimonides (1135-1204) (AKA Rambam), author of Guide for the Perplexed (Moreh Nevukhim or Nebuchim) (1190), one of the great philosophic statements of Judaism, attempting to reconcile Moses with Aristotle, fostering scholasticism and influencing Thomas Aquinas et al.; it tries to explain which words in the Bible should be taken literally, metaphorically, and symbolically, accepting the Creation but dissing personal immortality, Aristotelizing Bible stories, e.g., Abraham and Sarah represent matter and form, Adam is the active spirit, Eve is passive matter (the root of all evil), and the serpent is imagination, pissing-off orthodox rabbis, who accuse him of "selling the Scriptures to the Greeks", and Qabbalists, who desecrate his tomb; "My primary object is to explain certain words occurring in the prophetic books"; "A thing which has in itself the necessity of existence cannot have for its existence any cause whatever"; "Everything except God has been brought into existence out of nonexistence"; "Incorporeal entities can only be numbered when they are forces situated in a body"; written in Arabic in Hebrew chars., in 1199 it is trans. into Hebrew by Samuel ben Judah ibn Tibbon, and also into Latin, causing a firestorm of controversy; "The first who openly declared that Scripture must be accomodated to reason" (Baruch Spinoza). Long-dead pagan brain man Aristotle has now invaded two of the three main Bible-thumping religions, leaving one to go.

In 1188 Shen Kuo (1031-95) pub. Dream Pool Essays (Meng Xi Bi Tan), a collection of scientific essays incl. the first description of the magnetic needle compass and its use in navigation; it takes Europe four cents. to catch up with China's #1 scientist.

In 1190 English abbot of Cirencester Alexander Neckam (1157-1217) pub. De Utensilibus, containing the first Euro mention of a compass, and De Naturis Rerum (On the Nature of Things), a compendium of scientific knowledge;, containing the first Euro mention of using a magnetic compass (bk. 2 chap. 98); describes the winged lizard-tailed cockatrice as born from an egg laid by a cock and incubated by a toad; it can turn people to stone by looking at them, touching them, or breathing on them, and only a weasel is immune; luckily, a rooster's crow will kill it instantly, as will looking at itself in a mirror; it takes until the middle of the 17th cent. for it to be regarded as a mythical duplicate of the basilisk or regulus after being mentioned in the 1611 King James Vers. of the Old Testament (Is. 11:8 et al.).

In 1194 Seville emir Abu Yusuf Yaqub al-Mansur orders all the works of Averroes except a few on natural science burned, and forbids the study of philosophy, encouraging the burning of all philosophy books, executing Ibn Habib for studying philosophy; by 1200 speculative thought is kaput in Islam, and after the Mongols destroy Baghdad in 1258, you can stick a fork in Islamic science.

By 1200 the Guitar (Persian "tar" = string) is in use in Europe, incl. the Moorish guitar (Guitarra Moresca) and the Latin guitar (Guitarra Latina). About 1200 the Camshaft is invented in Iraq by Al-Jazari, who describes it in 1206; Europe picks it up by the next cent. In the 13th cent. the Italians invent the Mannaia ("executioner's axe"), a type of horizontal guillotine, adopted by the Scots and Germans in the 16th cent. In the 13th cent. Iron Anchor Chains, which were last used during the 1st cent. B.C. begin to be used again in Europe infrequently. In the 13th cent. Mechanical Clocks (no water propulsion) begin to appear in Europe. In the 13th cent. alcohol begins to be used for medicinal purposes.

In 1202 Italian mathematician Leonardo (OG "lion bold") Fibonacci (Filius Bonaccii) (Leonardo Pisano) (Leonardo da Pisa) (1170-1250) pub. Liber Abaci (Book of the Abacus), introducing the Hindu-Arabic place-value system and Arabic numerals to Europe, and discussing the Fibonacci Sequence ("How many pairs of rabbits can be produced from a single pair in a year's time?"); forever after science and sex are romantically intertwined in Euro minds? In 1220 he pub. Practica Geometriae, first applying algebra to prove geometrical theorems. In 1225 he pub. two works contributing to the solution of equations of the first and second degree, and competes in a math tournament with John of Palermo supervised by HRE Frederick II.

In 1204 Andalusia, Spain-born Muslim astronomer Nur ad-Din al-Bitruji dies, leaving the astronomical treatise Kitab-al-Hay'ah, criticizing Ptolemy's system of epicycles and eccentricities and substituting a system of geocentric spheres, proposing a physical cause for celestial motion, which spreads through Europe for the rest of the cent.

In 1210 the Council of Paris reacts to the shock of Latin. translations of Aristotle's "Physics" and "Metaphysics" and the commentaries of learned Muslim infidel brain man Averroes by condemning Aristotle proponents Amalric of Bene (-1207) and David of Dinant (who began attacking Christian doctrines incl. miracles, creation, and immortality, leading their followers to deny heaven, hell, and the sacraments), and forbidding the reading of Aristotle's "metaphysics and natural philosophy" along with any "comments" (commentaries); too bad, this only makes them more popular, and in 1215 a papal legate arrives in Paris to proclaim the prohibition of the 1215 Fourth Lateran (12th Ecumenical) (Great) Council on teaching of all of Aristotle's works except those on logic and ethics, which doesn't stop Aristotle from being required reading at the U. of Paris in 1255. In 1263 Pope Urban IV tries to enforce the ban, but Thomas Aquinas talks him out of it after claiming that he can make Aristotle safe for Christians.

In 1216 Seville, Spain-born Andalusian Muslim scientist Abu'l Abbas al-Nabati (1166-1239) pub. Botanical Journey, a work on botany covering plants from the Atlantic to the Red Sea, earning him the name al-Nabati (the Botanist).

About 1220 after a large group and students and professors walk out of the U. of Bologna in search of more academic freedom, HRE Frederick II founds the U. of Padua in Italy to teach law and theology, followed in 1222 by medicine, and by 1399 it divides into two schools, one or civil and canon law, and the other for medicine, grammar, rhetoric, dialectic, philosophy, and astronomy; in a mere three cents. it becomes home to one of the first botanical gardens in Europe (1545), and produces giants incl. Andreas Vesalius and Galileo Galilei; in 1595 its anatomical theater begins performing public dissections.

In 1222 Jordanus Nemorarius (Jordanus de Nemore) (Giordano of Nemi) becomes gen. #2 of the Dominican Order, going on to dabble in science, using Hindu numerals and doing algebra with letters, writing Elementa Super Demonstrationem Ponderis, discussing the component of gravity along a trajectory, and expounding Jordanus' Axiom, that a force that can raise weight W to height H can raise weight K*W to height H/K. He also writes De Ratione Ponderis, discussing statical moments (the product of force and a lever arm), and The School of Jordanus, discussing the theory of virtual displacements.

In 1229 Morrocan Muslim scholar Hasan al-Marraqushi pub. tables of sines, versed sines, arc sines, and arc cotangents for each degree.

In 1229 Constantinople-born Arab Muslim scholar Abdallah ur-Rumi (Yaqut Shihab al-Din ibn-Abdullah al-Rumi al-Hamawi) (1179-1229) dies, leaving Kitam Mujam al-Buldan, a geographical lit. dictionary and encyclopedia of all Muslim knowledge of science, obtained by going through 10 libraries he found in Merv, one containing 12K vols.; after moving to Khiva then Balkh, the Mongols almost catch him, and he escapes naked clutching his mss. to Mosul, becoming a copyist and completing his opus - did he get to taste the fustaqiyya?

About 1230 Robert Grosseteste (1175-1253) of Oxford U. (teacher of Roger Bacon and John Peckham) discovers the writings on optics of Arab Muslim al-Haitham, and describes how the "visual ray" can be broken up by passing it through transparent lenses to enlarge or reduce visual objects; John Peckham goes on to become archbishop of Canterbury, and pub. Perspectiva Communis, describing reflection, refraction, and the structure of the eye. In 1482 an Italian ed. is pub., influencing Leonardo da Vinci to study Greek geometry in an attempt to improve his theory of lenses and the eye incl. the camera obscura.

Jesus rolls over in his empty tomb? With Deadbeat Dad still overdue, and the Muslims pretty much in permanent control of Jerusalem, did the Church turn to Science in an effort to finally destroy the Muslim World and take their military field manual the Quran away from children to break the cycle so that Christian indoctrination could begin and Christ finally return as he promised after the Gospel had been preached to the whole world? No, instead it put up mile-high barriers against Science as well as all free thought, a development which sours many scientists to this day against it. Now that Bible reading has been prohibited (1229), and pesky Bible-thumpers continue to read it and point out that the Church's doctrines contradict it, in 1231 Pope (1227-41) Gregory IX (-1241), institutes the search-and-destroy Holy Office, AKA the Inquisition, in the hands of the Dominicans, for the apprehension, torture (begun 1252?) and trial of heretics, enacting a law for Rome that heretics condemned by an ecclesiastical court are to be delivered to the secular power to receive their "due punishment", i.e., death by fire, or life in a horrible inhumane prison. In his bulls of Apr. 13, 20, and 22, 1233, in order to combat the Albigenses in France, Pope Gregory IX founds the Monastic Inquisition, and appoints the Dominicans as the official Inquisitors for all dioceses of France; the smoke-choked Burning Times in France begin.

In 1234 after Rabbi Solomon ben Abraham of Montpellier in S France gets antsy about all the Catholic attacks on the Albigensian heretics, and doesn't want his congregation to be next, he anathematizes the philosophical works of Jewish brain man Maimonides (1135-1204), excommunicating all Jews who treat the Bible allegorically or even study science or profane lit.; Maimonides' supporters led by David Kimchi and Jacob ben Machir Tibbon strike back by persuading the Jewish congregations of Beziers, Lunel, and Narbonne in Provence, and Sargossa and Lerida in Spain to excommunicate Solomon and his followers; Solomon counterattacks by denouncing Maimonides to the Dominican Inquisition in Montpellier, causing them to burn all his works there, followed by Paris in 1242, setting a precedent that makes books too hot to handle in Catholic lands; too bad, 40 days later they burn the Talmud in Paris too; knowing that if you can get away with books, why not people, on June 13, 1234 Pope Gregory IX pub. the 5-vol. Liber Extra (Decretals of Gregory IX), a collection of 2K decretals which he has sent to the univs. of Bologna and Paris, repeating St. Augustine's belief that "every pagan, Jew, heretic, and schismatic will go to the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his demons", containing the oldest surviving detailed Description of a Diabolical (Witches') Sabbath, describing the novice having to kiss an enormous toad, then a cold, pale, thin man, which causes him to forget the Catholic faith, then, after a feast, having to kiss a black cat, then the head devil (or devil's head), and finally participate in an orgy; Pope Boniface VIII adds a 6th book in 1298 - dominica, nica, what? This wonderful development in Catholic theology goes on to morph into the Spanish Inquisition in 1478, and the Portuguese Inquisition in 1531, burning its first Protestants in Spain in 1543; it is finally abolished (suspended until future notice?) after 666, er, 603 fun years in 1834.

One good thing: Gregory IX absolves those who violated the ban by the 1215 Fourth Lateran Council on teaching Aristotle, but renews it "provisionally, until the books of the philosopher had been examined and expurgated", appointing three Parisian masters to the job, which they give up on. Another good thing: Gregory IX exempts the Jews from the jurisdiction of the Inquisition, except when they attack Christianity, attempt to Judaize Christians, or revert to Judaism after Christian conversion. Meanwhile the Jewish war over Maimonides continues, with Maimonides' followers getting Solomon ben Abraham executed for ratting on fellow Jews, and his leading followers' tongues cut out; meanwhile a rabbinical ban on study of science is issued by Rabbi Don Astruc of Lunel, supported by Rabbi Asher ben Yehiel and Rabbi Nachmanides (Nahmanides) (1198-1270), causing Rabbi Solomon ben Abraham ben Adret of Barcelona to do ditto in 1305 for teaching any science, or studying it before age 25, except medicine, causing the rabbis of Montpellier to threaten to excommunicate any Jew who stops his son from studying science; the net result is the decline of science study in the Euro Jewish community, and a retreat into mysticism, esp. the Qabala - I got Scrombosis, I'm dead from the neck up?

In 1232 the Battle of Kaifeng (Kai-fung-fu) sees the Chinese use rockets in warfare for the first time to defend Kaifeng against pesky pagan Mongols; the use of gunpowder begins to spread.

In 1235 after suppressing a revolt led by his son Henry VII and having him imprisoned, super-educated skeptical Italian-born German HRE (since 1220) Frederick II (1194-1250) ("Stupor Mundi") (Amazement of the World) holds a Diet at Mainz where he promulgates the Laws of the Empire (best issued since Charlemagne?), establishing order in Germany; he goes on to allow surgeons to dissect human bodies at the Salerno school of medicine, and sponsors the trans. of Aristotle into Latin; Dante later calls his Sicilian court the birthplace of Italian poetry. By 1240 the intelligentsia of Italy adopt Averroism, the doctrine that Natural Law rules the world without interference by God, that the world is coeternal with God, that there is one immortal soul AKA the active intellect of the cosmos, of which the individual soul is a transitory form, and that heaven and hell are fables invented to cow the people into morality; to fool the Inquisition they profess to believe the Bible and the Christian faith at the same time.

In 1248 Spanish Arab Muslim scientist Abu Muhammad ibn Baitar (1190-1248) of Malaga dies, leaving Compendium on Botany and Pharmacology, listing 1.4K plants, foods, and drugs, incl. 300 new ones, becoming the std. botanical authority in Europe until the 16th cent.

In 1248 after a 16-mo. siege King (1217-52) (St.) Ferdinand III of Castile (1199-1252) captures Seville from the Moors, leaving only Granada left in their hands, where the Nasrid Dynasty (founded 1238) rules until 1492; the Moors use cannon, becoming the first use of gunpowder in Europe?

About 1250 English philosopher (Franciscan friar) ("Doctor Mirabilis") Roger Bacon (Rogerus/Rogerius Baconus/Baconis) (1214-94) invents the Magnifying Glass, breaking away from slavish reliance on Aristotle and demanding real experiments, look at that bug. In 1267 he pub. Opus Majus (Great Work), an encyclopedic work on experimental science, math, optics, and philosophy, coining the word "almanac" (Arab. "al manakh" = the weather), giving a recipe for gunpowder (41.2% saltpeter, 29.4% charcoal, 29.4% sulfur) (Pt. VI), predicting powered flight, proposing that one day be dropped from the Julian Calendar every 125 years, and containing the soundbyte (Pt. IV): "The sea between the end of Spain on the west and the beginning of India on the east is navigable in a very few days if the wind is favorable", later inspiring Columbus; it concludes with a warning that science cannot save mankind, but that "The science of morality is the mistress of every department of philosophy"; he didn't invent gunpowder, just repeated a formula he got from others - whether they're ground in, smeared on, or powdered, it doesn't matter, that's the power of Gunbarrel Clean? About 1270 he writes the soundbyte: "The philosophy of Averroes today obtains the unanimous suffrage of wise men." In 1271 he pub. the unfinished Compendium Studii Philosophiae, dissing nominalism in favor of realism; "A universal is nothing but the similarity of several individuals"; "One individual has more reality than all universals put together"; too bad, he also goes after the clergy, papacy, univs., and philosophers of his day, listing "36 great and radical defects", even going after Thomas Aquinas for pontificating on the angels, causing a conspiracy to silence him? No surprise, in 1277 the heads of the Franciscan and Dominican orders get together and imprison Bacon for "suspected novelties" until he gets too old to do any more harm (1292). "Mathematics is the gate and key of the sciences... Neglect of mathematics works injury to all knowledge, since he who is ignorant of it cannot know the other sciences of the things of this world"; "If in other sciences we should arrive at certainty without doubt and truth without error, it behooves us to place the foundations of knowledge in mathematics"; "Reasoning draws a conclusion, but does not make the conclusion certain, unless the mind discovers it by the path of experience... Argument is conclusive... but... it does not remove doubt , so that the mind may never rest in the sure knowledge of the truth , unless it finds it by the method of experiment."

About 1250 Franciscan friar Bernard of Verdun writes Treatise on the Whole of Astronomy (Tractatus Super Totam Astrologiam), defending Ptolemy's theory of epicycles and eccentrics against al-Bitruji's system of homocentric spheres. Also about 1250 French Dominican friar Vincent of Beauvais (Vicentius Burgundus) (1190-1264) of the Cistercian Royaumont Abbey pub. Speculum Maius (Majus) Naturale, Historiale, Doctrinale, an encyclopedia of medieval stupidity, quoting 450 Greek, Latin, and Arabic writers, becoming the #1 encyclopedia of the Middle Ages; the 40-vol. original is divided into "Speculum Naturale", "Speculum Doctrinale", and "Speculum Historiale", with "Speculum Morale" added around 1310; "I do not know even a single science."

About 1250 Jewish physician (in Jerusalem) Benevenutus Grassus Hierosolimitanus (-1290) pub. Practica Oculorum, which becomes a hit in the Muslim and Christian worlds, becoming the first work on opthalmology printed with the printing press in 1474.

In 1250 German Dominican friar-priest philosopher-scientist (St.) Albertus Magnus (Albert the Great of Cologne) (1193-1280) (teacher of Thomas Aquinas) discovers the element Arsenic (As) (Gr. "yellow orpiment") (#33), going on to "give Aristotle to the Latins" with tons of essays on every branch of science, philosophy, and theology, citing Maimonides and Avicenna.

About 1250 Persian Muslim mathematician Nasir ud-Din al-Tusi (1201-74) of Tus, Khorasan pub. the first treatise treating trigonometry as its own subject rather than a part of astronomy; it takes the Euros two cents. until Regiomontanus (1436-76) to equal it.

About 1250 Jewish physician (in Jerusalem) Benvenutus Grassus pub. Practica Oculorum, which becomes a hit in the Muslim and Christian worlds, becoming the first work on opthalmology printed with the printing press in 1474.

Intellectually-cracked 13th cent. Europe gets one Bourbon, one Scotch, and one beer? The Crusades weren't all bad. In 1252 St. Ferdinand III (b. 1199) dies, and his erudite son Alfonso X (the Wise) (El Sabio) (1221-84) becomes king of Castile (until 1284), taking a clue about cautious multiculturalism from late great Frederick II of Germany and beginning a cultural awakening in intolerant backward Europe known as the Thirteenth (13th) Cent. Castilian Renaissance, creating the Spanish Nat. Library in Madrid, one of Europe's first state libraries, along with the Alfonsine School of Translators in Toledo, manned by Christians, Jews, and Muslims, incl. Hermannus Alemannus (Herman the German), who trans. a large mass of Arabic works mss. on astronomy, astrology, and history, selected by the king into Latin and Spanish, bringing the most important Greek, Indian, Persian, and Syrian works to the scholarly Euro community, and causing Toledo to become a European intellectual hub which fuels the coming Renaissance; Alfonso X the Wise supervises the ambitious Spanish pub. known as the General Estoria, which incl. the Alfonsine Astronomical Tables and the Alfonsine Bible (Biblia Alfonsina) as a vehicle for polishing and enriching the Spanish language, causing it to be established as a serious language and intellectual vehicle, rocketing it ahead of Italian, German, and English and making them play catch-up, causing Latin to turn a whiter shade of pale?

In 1256 Arab Muslim physician Khalifah ibn-abi'l-Mahasin of Aleppo performs a cataract operation on a 1-eyed man, leaving a comprehensive ocular manual.

Did I mention 1258? On Feb. 13, 1258 after stupid last Abbasid caliph Al-Mustasim (a damn fine calligrapher) fails to raise an army to defend it (thinking that women throwing stones can fight them off?), and accepts an offer of surrender with clemency from Hulagu Khan after a 1-mo. siege, Baghdad, the Paris of the Orient is captured by the pagan Mongol hordes of Genghis (Chinggis) ("universal river") Khan (1162-1227) (birth name Temujin = "iron worker") under the leadership of his grandson "Go West, Young Man" Hulagu (Hulegu) Khan (1217-65); of course he reneges, and 800K-1M are slaughtered over 40 days, the Tigris River running black with the ink from hundreds of thousands of ruined books; on Feb. 20 after being forced to reveal the location of his royal treasure, Al-Mustasim is rolled in a rug and trampled with horses so that no Mongol could be accused of shedding royal blood (either that, or he is imprisoned with his royal treasure and starved to death to mock him for not spending it on defense, with the khan telling him "Eat of your treasure as much as you want, you are so fond of it"), becoming the last Abbassid caliph of Baghdad; the Abbasid Dynasty (founded in 750) comes to an end along with Islam's Golden Age; the destruction of the irrigation system turns the paradise alley into a barren arid plain; the town of Tehran (Pers. "warm place") (modern pop. 8M) in Persia is settled by refugees from the Mongol invasion; Hulagu Khan goes on to take Iraq, followed by Anatolia. Too bad, the Mongols convert to Islam in 1295 after taking over China, holding them all back in science till the 20th cent. In 1303 the decisive Battle of Damascus ends the Mongol threat to the West, and they come and go in 40 years, turning Asia from 100+ thriving cities into a poverty-stricken hellhole, which continues until modern times.

In 1259 Pope Alexander IV summons U. of Paris brain man (St.) Thomas Aquinas (1225-74) to Rome (until 1268), where he wows everybody with his erudition; in 1268 he returns to Paris, and immediately gets involved in the controversy caused by heretic philosopher Siger de Brabant (1235-81), a popularizer of Muslim philosopher Averroes at the U. of Paris from 1266-76, whose commentaries on Aristotle upset followers of St. Augustine, who taught that the search for truth shouldn't be based on sense experience, and instead begin to believe that empirical knowledge rules - are you for real? In 1270 Aquinas pub. On the Unity of the Intellect Against the Averroists, which turns the tide against Siger de Brabant and the Averroists, causing the Church to back him and condemn them. When he dies, Aquinas leaves Summa Contra Gentiles (1261-4), an attempt to reason Muslims out of their infidelity between 5x-daily prayers and holy murders, and the unfinished Summa Theologica (Theological Compendium), an attempt to use the Aristotelian science and logic of the Averroists to justify the conclusions of St. Augustine and the Neoplatonists, while denying Averroes' double-truth theory that there is one truth in science and another in faith; it incl. the Five Arguments for the Existence of God (Quinque Viae), the Prime Mover, who is perfect, omniscient, omnipotent, and free. After his work sinks in, it turns the Roman Catholic Church decisively Aristotelian, widening the split with the Eastern Orthodox Church, which remains Platonist and sinks into mysticism. In 1366 Pope Urban V sends legates to Paris to announce that all candidates for an arts degree at the U. of Paris have to thoroughly study Aristotle.

On Sept. 3, 1260 after the Mamluks take advantage of the absence of Hulagu to move on them, the Mongols offer an alliance with the Franks, but Pope Alexander IV forbids it, and Count Julian Grenier of Sidon (-1275) (son of Balian I and Margaret of Brienne) causes the death of a grandson of Kitbuqa, causing him to sack Sidon, pissing the Christians off so bad they allow them to pass through Crusader territory, 10K-20K Egyptian Mamluks defeat 10K Mongols in the Battle of Ain (Ayn) Jalut (Arab. "Spring of Goliath") in the Palestinian desert in the Jezreel Valley near Ein Harod, becoming the first Mongol D that isn't avenged, forever defining the SW limit of Mongol expansion as the Tigris River; Kitbuqa is executed; Syria suffers severely from the Mongol invasion, worsened by subsequent invasions in 1281 and 1299; the Egyptians use portable hand cannon (midfa) using gunpowder cartridges charged with 2-3-15 (sulfur-carbon-saltpeter) gunpowder; on the way back to Cairo Al-Zahir al-Malik Baybars (Baibars) (-1277) ("panther") murders Sultan Qutuz, and becomes Bahriyya sultan #1 of the Mamluk Empire (until 1277); the Kipchak Turkish Mamluks (Mamelukes) (Arab. "possessed", "owned") seize control of the Egyptian sultanate, ruling Egypt until 1517, and continuing as vassals of the Ottoman Empire until 1811, becoming known for kicking the Franks out of Palestine, and kicking the last Crusader's butt out of Asia; the Bahriyya Sultanate of the Mamluk Empire (ends 1382) is founded, becoming the leading Muslim state, integrating and ruling the Syrian provinces in 1271-1516 while recruiting Mamluk soldier-slaves from the Caucasus, which causes ethnic tensions between Turks and Circassians (known for their beautiful babes); Cairo becomes the richest city W of the Indus River until 1300, with public works erected by exploited peasants; the usual form of succession is assassination; by the middle of this decade the Christians wake up and begin accepting Mongol feelers about a Franco-Mongol Alliance against the greater threat of the Muslims, the Mongols promising them Jerusalem in return for cooperation; too bad, despite several pro-Christian Buddhist Mongol khans sending embassies, it never happens, perhaps because the Christians demand their conversion first, giving Islam time to slam-dunk and convert them.

In 1267 the Council of Vienna forces Jews to wear the pileum cornutum (a cone-shaped headdress) in addition to a special badge, and forbids Jewish physicians to treat Christians, which doesn't stop Christian popes (Boniface VIII), kings (James I of Aragon, Ferdinand II and Isabella I), monasteries, nunneries et al. from employing them.

In 1269 Petrus Peregrinus (Pierre Pelerin) de Maricourt (Peter the Pilgrim) pub. Epistola de Magnete, the first scientific treatise, describing his experiments with magnets, naming the north and south poles, formulating the law that poles of opposite polarity attract while poles of like polarity repel, describing experiments in magnetizing objects, along with his invention of the 360 degree compass, and a project to build a perpetual motion machine with self-regenerating magnets.

In 1270 Marcus Graecus (Mark the Greek) pub. Liber Ignium ad Comburendos Hostes (Book of Fires for Burning Enemies), which describes Greek fire and phosphorescence, and gives a recipe for gunpowder as 1 lb. of live sulfur, 2 lbs. of charcoal from a lime or willow tree, and 6 lbs. of saltpeter. Also about 1270 Peter of St. Omer pub. Liber de Colorius Faciendis, containing recipes for painting pigments, incl. the use of linseed oil for oil painting. Also in 1270 Spanish monk Raymundus Martini pub. Pugeo Fidei, containing the first use of the word "Jehovah".

About 1270 German friar-scientist Witelo (1230-1313), pub. Perspectiva, a work on optics based on Alhazen, containing speculations on psychology, nearly discovering the subconscious.

In 1271 Robert of England first correctly states the theory of the Pendulum Clock. A big one is built in a tower in Westminster in 1288, spreading to the Continent.

About 1275 Jewish physician Abu Al-Mina Al-Kuhin al-Attar pub. a pharmacopia that becomes a hit in the Muslim World until modern times.

In 1280 Hans Speyer invents the Belt-Driven Spinning Wheel (from China?), causing a revolt among Flemish textile workers - throw them shoes?

In the 1280s Salvino d'Amarto (-1317) of Italy invents Eyeglasses (Spectacles).

In 1289 letters containing block printing are sent from Persia to the king of France, going on to be developed in Ravenna.

My mind's such a sweet thing, crimson and clover, over and over? In 1298 Italian world traveler Marco Polo (1254-1324) is captured in battle and thrown in jail in Genoa, which gives him the leisure to write up his cool travels, and he begins dictating his memoirs to his cellmate, incl. a sherbet recipe brought home from Asia, finishing ca. 1300; it takes until 1447, but finally A Description of the Marvels of the World (The Travels of Marco Polo), AKA (by his many doubters) Il Milione (The Million Lies) (The Marco Millions) is pub.; it describes heating coal ("black stones"), oil lamps, asbestos, Chinese scholars wearing eyeglasses, crocodiles, yaks ("grunting oxen"), coconuts, how emperor Kublai Khan's harem is filled with 100 new concubines every two years by special emissaries, the Pacific Ocean, his route across the Asian continent and all the cool wonders and sights, the interior workings of unsaved China, everything except tea, foot binding, and the Great Wall of China?; on the other hand, he claims that a prince "sixth in descent from Prester John" rules a territory W of Peiping (Peking); although there really is a Kublai Khan who rules from Siberia to the Punjab, and he really did go away from age 17-40 and mainly tell it like it is, it takes cents. for him to be believed by members of the Holy Mother Church and its infallible Pope with a pipeline to Christ and God; the stories introduce Japan, Peking, Java, Sumatra, Siam, Burma, Ceylon, the Zanzibar Coast, Madagascar, and Abyssinia to the West, inspiring commerce and travel,

In 1299 after lobbying by abacists, a law is passed in Florence against using "newfangled figures" (Hindu numerals, the zero, decimals) to do accounting; Hindu numerals don't replace Roman numerals until the 16th cent.

In the 14th cent. Cast iron becomes widely available in Europe; in this cent. Sheffield, England in South Yorkshire (built on seven hills like Rome and Prague) becomes known for manufacturing cutlery, becoming the #1 center by 1600.

In 1300 a Jew is appointed as regent of the faculty of the Montpellier School of Medicine in France, pissing-off the medical faculty of the U. of Paris, who don't like the theory of demonic possession of the sick and the efficacy of relics to be questioned, and force them to expel all Jews next year.

In 1303 Pietro d'Abano (1250-1316), an Averroist prof. of medicine from the U. of Padua pub. Conciliator Controversiarum, attempting to harmonize medical and philosophical theory; he teaches that the brain is the source of the nerves, and the heart of the blood vessels, and measures the year as 365 days 6 hours 4 min.; too bad, his claim that all causation is caused by the stars, eliminating God from the equation gets him accused of heresy, but his patients Pope Honorius IV and Marquis Azzo d'Este protect him until 1315, when he escapes an Inquisition trial by a natural death, his friends hiding his body so well they have to execute him in effigy.

In 1303 prof. of medicine at the U. of Montpellier Bernard de Gordon pub. Practica seu Lilium Medicinae, which describees anthrax, plague, TB, scabies, epilepsy, and leprosy, and contains the first Euro medical reference to spectacles.

In 1307 after Arabic texts on alchemy get translated to Latin and spawn Euro alchemists, the Roman Catholic Church condemns alchemy as a diabolical art, which only makes it more popular?

In 1315 the first Public Human Dissection is performed in Italy by Mondino de Luizzi (1258-1326), who pub. Anatomia (De Anatome), the first practical dissection manual this year, used by Euro medical schools for the next three cents.

In 1324 English Franciscan friar William of Ockham (Occam) (1280-1347) (student of Duns Scotus) defines his Nominalist (anti-Realist) (Terminalist) philosophy at Pope John XXII's court in Avignon, incl. the cool Occam's (Ockham's_ Razor (principle of economy of thought), toppling the dunce Schoolmen by separating logic from metaphysics with the claim that logic has nothing to do with ultimate truth, backing an experimental approach to science and even suggesting the law of inertia; after a catfight with Thomists in the 1320s, Ockham's school dominates European thought until the Protestant Reformation of the 1500s.

The Black Death (the original Darth Vader) rockets through Europe's Internet with breathtaking speed? In Oct. 1347 a Genoese trading fleet arrives in Messina, Sicily carrying the Black Death (Bubonic Plague), caused by Yersinia pestis bacteria carried by fleas from rats; not rats but gerbils?; it also arrives in Egypt, Syria, and Cyprus; by 1351 it kills 20M-30M in Europe (a third of Europe's pop., and up to 60% in some areas), and 75M worldwide by 1361; world. pop. decreases from 450M to 350M-375M by 1400; Europe takes 150 years to return to 1347 pop. levels; it ravages China, halving its pop. from 123M in 1200 to 65M in 1400; lucky America is not affected, but not toughened up by it either?; rats didn't really spread it, because it spreads so fast from person to person? On Sept. 26, 1348 Pope Clement VI issues the bull Quamvis Perfidiam, attempting to dispel the rumor that Jews caused the Black Death by poisoning wells, saying that they too are suffering from the plague, but he is ignored. In summer 1349 the Great Plague reappears in Paris, where it peaks, killing up to 800 a day, and spreads to Picardy, Flanders, and the Low Countries; also in the summer it reappears in London, and spreads to Ireland, killing 35% of the pop. within a year; by the middle of the year half of the pop. of Venice is killed; by the end of the year half of England's pop. is killed, and a truce with France is called; the plague spreads to Norway when an English ship full of corpses floats into Bergen, and reaches Elbing (Elblag), Poland on Aug. 24; the Church and its credibility being challenged head-on, the main solution offered is by the Flagellants, who appear in force all over Europe (especially Germany), torturing themselves publicly, and proclaiming that the Second Coming is 33.5 years away (I been a bad, bad boy, so tan my sinful hide?), while causing trouble for Jews, the rich, the Church, and finally themselves (besides all the wounds), causing Pope Clement VI to pub. a bull condemning them on Oct. 20; "Many persons, and even young children were soon bidding farewell to the world, some with prayers, others with praises on their lips."

On June 18, 1348 Italian physician (pioneer in cardionephrology) Gentile da Foligno (b. ?) dies of the plague after becoming known for applying the "art of latitudes" to Galen's physiology; leaves Consilia.

In 1350-1 the Great Plague begins clearing, leaving a depopulated Europe where the deck is reshuffled and the entire social order is thrown up for grabs. The intelligentisa begin to smell a rat in the divine pretensions of the Church, and launch the timeless look at the ancient pagan past called the Renaissance via their Greek scholar friends in Constantinople, no longer being satisfied with Arab translations but learning ancient Greek for themselves; meanwhile the workers see the class struggle clearly now, the rain is gone.

About 1350 the Renaissance (It. "Rinascita" = rebirth) Period in Europe begins (ends 1650) as the intelligentsia begin to smell a rat in the divine pretensions of the Church and launch the timeless look at the ancient past called the Renaissance via their Greek scholar friends in Constantinople, no longer being satisfied with Arab translations but learning ancient Greek for themselves; meanwhile the workers see the class struggle clearly now, the rain is gone?; in Europe begins (ends 1650) as the intelligentsia begin to smell a rat in the divine pretensions of the Church and launch the timeless look at the ancient past called the Renaissance via their Greek scholar friends in Constantinople, no longer being satisfied with Arab translations but learning ancient Greek for themselves; meanwhile the workers see the class struggle clearly now, the rain is gone? the Italian Renaissance begins first, spreading outward, with Italian Renaissance painting beginning about 1400, along with Italian Renaissance architecture, Italian Renaissance humanism, Italian Renaissance music, Italian Renaissance philosophy, and Italian Renaissance science.

About 1360 French Roman Catholic priest Jean Buridan (1295-1363) develops the Theory of impetus, which he defines as weight x velocity, becoming the precursor to the concepts of inertia, momentum, and acceleration.

In 1361 French alchemist Nicolas Flamel (1330-1418) discovers the alchemical textbook The Sacred Book of Abraham the Jew, Prince, Priest, Levite, Astrologer and Philosopher to that Tribe of Jews Who by the Wrath of God Were Dispersed Amongst the Gauls, spending 21 years trying in vain to understand it until a converted Jew in Leon gives him the key; on Jan. 17, 1382 he performs his first successful chemical transmutation in Paris, growing wealthy, allowing him to endow 14 hospitals, seven churches, and three chapels in Paris, and ditto in Boulogne, making him a hit with Sir Isaac Newton, who copies one of his works by hand - behind every fortune is a crime?

In 1364 is the first recorded use of a hand gun ("hand cannon") in Europe; by 1378 they are spreading across Europe. In 1364 William of Ockham disciple Nicole Oresme (Nicolas d'Oresme) (1320-82) pub. Le Livre du Ciel et du Monde (The Book of Heaven and Earth), which questions the theory of a stationary Earth, suggesting that it revolves, and proposes Galileo's law of falling bodies; too bad, until Euro militaries become dependent on cannon in the 16th cent. and need scientists to figure out cannonball trajectories, science is only a hobby for univ. profs., who make their livings with theology and dialectic, and mathematics is still too primitive to get very far - the wizards are still mired in alchemy, and the geniuses are too busy reaping commissions from the Church and aristocracy for art works? Oresme leaves Tractatus de Configurationibus Qualitatum et Motuum, which distinguishes between intensity and quantity of heat, anticipates rectangular coordinates and the treatment of time as a variable, and proves the divergence of the harmonic series.

In 1383 English lit. giant Geoffrey Chaucer (1343-1400) pub. The House of Fame, a dream vision of a glass temple adorned with images of the famous, where he meditates on the nature of fame with an eagle as his guide, containing the first use in English of the words "galaxy" and "Milky Way".

In 1400 French traveler-poet and court historian Jean Froissart (1337-1400) dies, leaving Froissart's Chroniques (Chronique de France, d'Angleterre, d'Ecosse et d'Espagne) (Chronicles of France, England, Scotland and Spain) (1.5M words), covering from the deposition of Edward II in 1326 to 1400, becoming the chief description of the chivalric culture of 14th cent. England-France and the Hundred Years' War; incl. personal accounts of the 1367 baptism of Richard II in Bordeaux, the 1380 coronation of Charles V in Rheims, the 1386 preparations for the invasion of England in Sluys, the 1389 marriage of Duke John of Berry and Jeanne of Boulogue in Riom, and the 1389 joyous entry of French Queen Isabeau of Bavaria to Paris; too bad, they are filled with errors; he has "marvelous little sympathy" for the "villain churls" (Sir Walter Scott); first known mention of the verge escapement for clocks.

In 1420 future Persian shah (1447-9) Ulugh Beg (1393-1449) founds the Samarkand Observatory, which has instruments to measure precise star positions (the last great Muslim observatory?), compiling books of trigonometric tables of sine and tangent values accurate to 8 decimal places; Muslim Science remains far ahead of Christendom until about 1600.

In 1421 Prince Henry the Navigator (1394-1460), equipped with the Muslim secret weapon of the astrolabe, making his Portuguese fleet the only Euro fleet able to navigate open waters assembles Europe's leading maritime experts in Sagres on Cape St. Vincent, and develops the amazing small, light, 3-masted (square, lateen, or both) Caravel, which can outrun other vessels even when fitted with cannons, and/or carry more cargo, becoming a quantum leap in oceangoing technology, enabling the Portuguese to win the Tour de Lance with the Muslims in colonizing Africa, India, America et al.

The Mouse That Roared? In 1430 16-ton Mad Marjorie, the first cast-iron gun is introduced into battle; it has a 2-ft. bore and fires a 750 lb. stone ball.

In 1431 Cheng Ho (Zheng He) (1371-1433) begins his (last) Seventh Voyage from China, reaching 20 states and exacting tribute from 11 of them, incl. Muhammad's holy city of Heavy Mecca (ends 1433). In 1433 the Chinese Exploratory Voyages begun in 1405 end with the return of eunuch Chinese adm. Cheng Ho from his 7th voyage after having gone as far W as America?; China isolates itself from the "backward" outside world, burns all the ships, shipyards, and records, and makes it a crime to go to sea from China in a multi-masted ship - boy do they have a surprise coming from those *!?*! backward barbarians?

In 1433 Tibetan saint Thangtong Gyalpo (Chakzampa) (1385-1464) invents the Iron chain suspension bridge, building eight in E Bhutan; the last one is washed away in 2004.

Speaking of wizards, about 1439 German goldsmith Johannes Gutenberg (1398-1468) of Mainz invents a process for mass-producing movable type using a hand mold for a screw-type wooden Printing Press using oil-based ink; the Info. Explosion begins. Too bad, Bill Gates, er, the pope makes use of it to mass-produce indulgences to fill his coffers, fomenting a revolt in Germany led by Martin Luther.

In 1455 cast-iron pipe is invented in the Castle of Dillenburgh in Germany - should be dildoburgh?

In 1457 Portuguese king Afonso V commissions Italian cartographer Fra Mauro (-1464) (a Camaldolese monk from Murano Island near Venice) to make the 2mx2m Fra Mauro Map, of Africa, Asia, and Europe, which is finished on Apr. 24, 1459, and sent to his uncle Prince Henry the Navigator along with a letter encouraging funding of new explorations, becoming the best map to date by the Euro world, ending Bible-based geography and launching scientific geography; claims that the Earth is spherical with a diam. of 22.5K-24K mi. (34.5-43.1km) (true value 24,860 mi. = 40,008km; the first mention of Java in a Euro map; show the Cape of Diab as the southernmost point of Africa; no mention of America, only Greenland (Grolanda).

In 1469 Pliny the Elder's Historia Naturalis becomes the first scientific book to be printed in the Wild Wild West, one year after Johannes Gutenberg (b. 1398) dies, and only 993 years after the fall of the Roman Empire in 476 C.E. - introducing scrubbing bubbles toilet cleaning gel, eeeeuuuw?

In 1471 German astronomer Regiomontanus (Johannes Muller von Konigsberg) (Johannes Müller von Königsberg) (1436-76), pupil of Austrian astronomer Georg von Puerbach (Purbach) (1423-61) sets up the Nuremberg Observatory, becoming the first European observatory. In Jan. 1472 he measures the angular diam. of comets, and helps pub. Puerbach's Theoricae Novae Planetarum, which features diagrams of the system of solid spheres. In 1457 Puerbach pub. Pro Pluribus Annis in Vienna, becoming the first printed almanac. In 1473 Regiomontanus pub. Ephemerides ab Anno, an almanac for 1475-1505, used by Columbus. In 1474 he pioneers lunar nautical navigation. In 1475 he is called to Rome by Pope Sixtus IV to help reform the pokey Julian Calendar, which is now eight days behind, with the vernal equinox falling on Mar. 12 instead of Mar. 20; too bad, he dies of the plague next year before doing it. He leaves De Triangulus, which becomes the std. textbook on trigonometry.

In 1483 Italian superbrain Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) invents the Parachute - works on both flat and round worlds, and might be useful if the edge of the Earth is reached? In 1487 he invents the tank, "which will enter the closed ranks of the enemy with their artillery, and no company of soldiers is so great that it will not break through them. And behind these our infantry will be able to follow quite unharmed and without any opposition"; no real tanks are fielded until WWI. In 1490 he describes Capillary Action after Veronese anatomist Marc Antonia Della Torre dies and he dissects 10 human bodies in the cellar of the Santa Spirito by candlelight to fulfill a vow to him. In 1493 he designs the Airscrew, the first flying machine, and leaves notes on the laws of friction and the horizontal water wheel (basis of the water turbine) in his Notebooks, finished in 1510 - all suggested by his sexual orientation?

Yes, the whole game was about to change with the discovery of the New World. After giving up on ending Muslim control of the Mediterranean Sea, by the early 1400s Western Euro powers began improving their ability to navigate on the seas using stolen Muslim astrolabes, and set out south in search of another route to India and China so they could get hold of yummy spices to make their unrefrigerated rotten meat more palatable, plus so that they could steal anything that wasn't bolted down. It didn't take long for the Portuguese to discover Africa, taking back their first African slaves in 1434, that was no sweat, but the big breakthrough for the world war between Christians and Muslims was in 1492, when Spanish-backed Christopher Columbus (1451-1506) discovered America AKA the New World, thinking it was was part of the Old World, India, because he knew the world was round despite the official opinion of the Church, but vastly underestimated the circumference. In 1498 Portuguese explorer Vasco da Gama (1460-1524) finally found a route around Africa to India, reaching Kappakadavu near Calcutta on May 20, and discovering that Arab merchants had beat him to it, but going on to kick them out. The discoveries made Spain and Portugal rich with stolen loot, incl. tons of gold, and gave them a strategic advantage in future fights with the Muslim Hive, although it exposed them and their Roman Catholic Church backers as cruel greedy genocide artists and slavemasters, the intellectual backlash causing them to eventually concoct the theory of white supremacy as a justification.

In 1494 Italian Franciscan friar Luca Bartolomeo di Pacioli (Paciolo) (1445-1517) pub. Summa de Arithmetica, Geometria. Proportioni et Proportionalita in Venice, becoming the first textbook on modern accounting theory, incl. double-entry bookkeeping, causing him to be called "the Father of Accounting and Bookkeeping"; first printed use of +/- symbols for arithmetic?

About 1499 Trittenheim, Germay-born polymath Benedictine abbot Johannes Trithemius (Johann Heidenberg) (1462-1516) writes Steganographia (3 vols.), which is pub. in Frankfurt in 1606; too bad, its coverstory of magic and spirits causes it to be placed on the Roman Catholic Prohibited Index until 1900.

About 1500 a German engraving depicts a doctor wearing a mask with a birdlike beak containing perfume to protect against the Black Death.

In the early 1500s the Spanish begin sailing Galleons, giant lumbering heavily-armed ships with three masts and 3-4 decks (a modification of the galley) used to transport gallons of treasure from South Am. (the Spanish Main) and other lands to home turf - click if you want to become a buccaneer?

About 1500 Chinese inventor Wan Hu allegedly devises a flying chair using 47 rockets, which explodes, killing him, becoming the world's first astronaut; Wan-Hoo Crater on the Moon is later named after him.

In 1504 Peter Heinlein (Henlein) (1480-1542) of Nuremberg, Germany invents the coiled mainspring Pocketwatch (Watch) (portable clock), called the Nuremberg Live Egg; it only has an hour hand, and is so heavy it has to be worn on a belt or around the neck.

In 1505 Italian mathematician Scipione del Ferro (1465-1526) partially solves the cubic equation, obtaining the full solution in 1520.

In 1507 Italian-born John Damian attempts to fly by strapping on chicken-feather wings and jumping from the walls of Stirling Castle in Scotland; too late he remembers that chickens don't fly.

In 1510 Leonardo da Vinci designs the Horizontal Water Wheel, basis of the water turbine.

In 1511 Italian-born Peter Martyr d'Anghiera (1457-1526) is appointed by HRE Charles V as the chronicler for the Council of the Indies, going on to pub. eight "Decades", descriptions of all the exciting voyages and discoveries in the New World, and become the first writer to realize the significance of the Gulf Stream, which is first discovered in 1513 by the expedition of Puerto Rico gov. Juan Ponce de Leon (1460-1521).

In 1514 Dutch writer Giel Vander Hoecke becomes the first to use the + and - signs in a book on arithmetic? - were they ad hoc signs?

In 1517 Italian physician Hieronymus Fracastorius (Girolamo Fracastoro) (1478-1553) explains fossils as the remains of living organisms, but questions that they all came from Noah's flood - he goes too far up the family tree in his search of genealogy? In 1530 he pub. the poem Syphilis, or the French Disease (Syphilis sive Morbus Gallicus), about a shepherd named Syphilis (who does it with sheep?), giving the venereal disease caused by the spirochete Treponema pallidum its name, containing the germ of the Germ Theory of Disease, later taken up by Louis Pasteur. In Apr. 1546 he pub. On Contagion (De Contagione et Contagiosis Morbis et Eorum Curatione) (3 vols.), the first discussion of contagious infections, suggesting that diseases like syphilis, rabies, and phthisis are like seeds (fomites) that can be transferred from person to person as they "propagate their like" through air, water, etc. via direct contact, indirect contact, or at a distance; the first to recognize the disease typhus.

In 1517 Hans von Gersdoff pub. Feldtbuch der Wundtartzney, the first depiction of an amputation, recommending use of a tourniquet - we'll have to take your hands and gersd off?

With Catholic indulgences, crime does pay? The papal quest for filthy lucre finally reaps public reaction, creating the Protestant schism? On Oct. 31, 1517 (Wed.) (Halloween or All Hallows' Eve) German Roman Catholic Augustinian friar Martin Luther (1483-1546), after becoming sick of the indulgences peddled by Dominican friar Johann Teufel, er, Johann Tetzel (1465-1519) et al., and convinced that 1517 marks the end of the Babylonian Captivity of the Congregation, nails his Ninety-Five (95) Theses (Disputation on the Power of Indulgences) (written in Latin) to the door of the Wittenberg Palast (Palace) (Castle) Church in Saxony on the Elbe River (known for housing 5K+ holy relics, which he detests), arguing against indulgences and other Roman Catholic Church abuses, starting out pulling his punches then within a few years claiming that the pope is the Antichrist, "and his seat is that of Satan himself", and that "The treasures of indulgences are nets with which they now fish for the wealth of men", igniting the already-smoldering Protestant Reformation (he could have picked a more PC date than Halloween?); he really just sent them to Mainz archbishop Albert of Brandenburg that day, then posted them on the church door sometime in mid-Nov.?; his offer of a public debate is declined, but his theses are soon translated from Latin to German and pub., causing the German middle and merchant classes, who are already chafing at Italian efforts at domination to rise to his support in reaction to the fugging Fuggers (successor to the Medicis) and other papal bankers who are draining Germany of gold for Rome with this holy racket (the Fuggers are behind the loans made by Albert of Brandenburg to the pope); the big revelation to Luther that gave him strength was from the Bible, incl. the Seven Trumpets in Rev. Ch. 8, and Rev. 13:5, where it says that the Antichrist will rule the world for 42 mo., which he turns into 1260 years instead of days, setting year 1 in 539 C.E., and claiming that Christ will therefore return in the year 1799, thus it's time to get started whipping things up? - the wildlife experience, more than a museum?

In 1520 Swiss walking wonder medical student Philippus Paracelsus (Lat. "Greater than Celsus") (Aureolus Theophrastus Philippus Bombastus von Hohenheim) (1493-1541) wanders through Europe, and introduces Laudanum (spiced wine and opium) as a painkiller and cure-all, blissfully unaware of its addictive properties - the original Timothy Leary? In 1528 he pub. Die Kleine Chirurgia, the first Euro surgery manual, which crusades for the use of chemicals in the treatment of disease, pioneering the use of minerals incl. lead and mercury as drugs, and coining the name "zink" (zinc) (Ger. "pointed"), introducing the system of salt, sulfur, and mercury in Opus Paramirum (1530) as the three "prime elements" from which all things are made, inventing chemical therapy and chemical urinalysis, suggesting a biochemical theory of digestion, and coining the term "tartar" for the stony crud on teeth (really saliva plus bacteria), becoming known as "the Father of Toxicology" (grandfather of pharmacology), and "the Devil's Doctor".

In 1520 German gunsmith August Kotter invents the spirally-grooved rifle barrel for straighter shooting - welcome back, Kotter?

In 1520 the Wheel Lock is invented in Italy, leading to the creation of single-handed pistols.

In the 1520s the Violin emerges in its modern form in the region of Milan, Italy.

In 1521 Bologna surgery prof. Jacopo Berengario da Carpi pub. a Commentary on Mondino containing a number of anatomical discoveries, incl. the action of the cardiac valves, and the fact that the kidney is not simply a sieve; he coins the term "vas deferens".

In 1522 German painter Albrecht Durer (Dürer) (1471-1528) designs a flying machine for use in war - you drive? In 1525 he pub. Manual on Geometry, the first one pub. in Germany.

In 1525 Fernando Francesco de Avalos, Marquis of Pescara (1489-1525) invents the Harquebus (Arquebus) (first portable shotgun) just in time for the Battle of Pavia on Feb. 24.

In 1525 German mathematician Christoff Rudolff (1499-1545) introduces the radical sign for square roots in mathematics in Coss, the first German textbook on algebra.

In 1529 Italian humanist physician Giovanni Battista da Monte (Johannes Baptista Montanus) (1498-1551) introduces clinical sickbed examination of patients at the U. of Padua - is there a doctor in the padded house?

In 1530 Flemish cartographer Regnier (Reiner) Gemma Frisius (1508-55) proposes finding longitude by means of difference of times, causing Jean-Baptiste Morin to comment "I do not know if the Devil will succeed in making a longitude timekeeper but it is folly for man to try" - now all we need is a Mickey Mouse watch? In 1533 he becomes the first to pub. the Triangulation Method for surveying.

In the 1530s Parisian publisher Claude Garamond (1480-1561) creates the Garamond Type Font, the first Roman type font; he is created "imprimeur du roi" by Francis I.

Also in the 1530s in Europe the bottle cork is invented, and the spinning wheel and the workman's bench come into use.

In 1537 Portuguese mathematician Pedro Nunes (Petrus Nonius) (1502-78) pub. Treatise in Defense of the Maritime Chart, the first discussion of the Rhumb line, a path with constant bearing relative to true north (loxodrome). In 1542 he invents the Nonius, predecessor of the Vernier scale.

In 1537 French barber surgeon Ambroise Pare (Paré) (1510-90), in the service of Francis I during the attack on Turin discovers that soldiers with gunshot wounds that have not been scalded with the usual boiling oil of elders fare better than those who do, causing him to discard the accepted practice and prepare poultices with more humane cold ingredients incl. egg yolks, turpentine, and rose oil, used by the ancient Romans - it's a triple mess-kit cozy? Blue ribbon for best complementary inventions in the same year? In 1540 Pare pares, er, invents the first Artificial Limbs. In 1540 Italian munitions manufacturer Camillo Vettelli begins producing the first Pistols (for horse soldiers) at (guess where?) Pistoia in Tuscany (21 mi. NW of Florence), all made possible by the invention of the wheel lock; Henry VIII ends up owning a 4-chamber arquebus with a 2'9" barrel, 7.5" chamber, and 0.5" bore; others begin combining the pistol with a battle-axe or dagger - I'll pare off those lame legs after you come to be ventilated by a pistol? In 1550 Pare develops the first Ligature to stop bleeding during surgery, and traces phantom pains to the brain.

In 1537 Italian mathematician Niccolo (Niccolò) Fontana Tartaglia (Ital. "stammerer") (1500-57) pub. Nova Scientia (A New Science), which discusses projectile trajectory and the motion of heavy bodies, proposing Tartaglia's Theorem, that the trajectory of a projectile is a curved line, and that a projectile fired at an elevation of 45 deg. will travel the farthest, founding the science of Ballistics - heavy balls as a cure for stammering? In 1556-60 he pub. General Trattato di Numeri et Misure in Venice, containing Tartaglia's Formula for the volume of a tetrahedron, becoming the #1 treatise on arithmetic in the 16th cent. Too bad, he is tricked by Italian mathematician Gerolamo (Girolamo) (Geronimo) Cardano (1501-76) into revealing his solution to the cubic equation on the promise of keeping it secret, only to be betrayed, causing a running feud with Cardano and his student Ludovico Ferrari (1522-65). Cardano goes on to pub. solutions to the cubic and quartic equation, acknowledge the existence of imaginary numbers, help found mathematical probability, introducing binomial coefficients and the binomial theorem, pub. "De Proportinubus" in 1570, describing hypocycloids, and invent the combination lock, gimbal, universal joint, and biconvex lens.

In 1538 the Diving Bell is invented by Guglielmo de Lorena of Italy.

In 1539 Olaus Magnus (1490-1557) pub. Map of Scandinavia, the first accurate large-scale map of a large Euro region.

In 1540 Petrus Apianus (1495-1552) pub. Astronomicum Caesareum, dedicated to HRE Charles V, which notes that the tail of a comet observed in 1531 pointed away from the Sun, and incl. the first scientific drawing of a comet.

In 1540 Vannoccio Biringuccio (1480-1539) posth. pub. De la Pirotechnica, the first prof. handbook of metallurgy, smelting, ore reduction, and cannon-molding, and first modern book on how to operate a foundry.

In 1540 after being forced to flee to Paris and change his name to Villanovus, Freethinking Spanish physician Michael Servetus (1511-53) discovers the Pulmonary Circulation of the Blood. On Oct. 27, 1553 Swiss Protestant leader John Calvin (1509-64) burns his theological enemy, Unitarian (non-Trinitarian) Catalan scholar Michael Servetus (b. 1511) (who was captured while fleeing to his protection after escaping a prison of the Spanish Inquisition) in Geneva, executioner Guillaume Farel warning the audience: "(Servetus) is a wise man who doubtless thought he was teaching the truth, but he fell into the hands of the Devil... Be careful the same thing doesn't happen to you"; liberals lose their illusions about Bible-thumpers ever lightening up anything but a faggot, and a corner is turned in the fight for freedom of conscience?; at his trial Servetus is ridiculed for describing Palestine as a sparse, sterile land when the Bible says it's the land of milk and honey; noted noble Paris-educated French Protestant ex-humanist poet Theodore Beza (1519-1605) backs Calvin up - I look bad, feel bad, which is most important?

In 1541 Italian anatomist Giambattista Canano (Canani) (1515-79) pub. an anatomical tract that shows each muscle separately in its relations with the bones.

In 1542 Jean Fernel (1497-1558) pub. De Naturali Parte Medicinae, which establishes his rep as a top French physician, and becomes part 1 of his 3-part Universa Medicina. He becomes the first to observe that when the ventricles contract (systole), the arteries increase in size due to the blood entering them; an accurate understanding of heart circulation is still far off.

The original Coppertone Baby kept his ass out of the Sun on purpose? In 1542 Pope (since 1534) Paul III (1468-1549) establishes the Holy Office (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith) (Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition) in Rome to intercept appeals from defendants of the Inquisition and forward them directly to the Holy See, ending up being used to speed up the persecution of scientists promoting Copernicus' heliocentric system - I'm feeling really nonjudgmental today? On May 24, 1543 (May 14 Old Style) (Mon.) Polish astronomer-mathematician Nicolaus Copernicus (Lat. "copper worker") (b. 1473) dies in Frombork, Poland after allegedly awakening from a stroke-induced coma long enough to view the first printed copy of his magnum opus Six Books on the Revolutions of the Celestial Orbits (De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium), advancing the Heliocentric Theory (which he had shelved, claiming it to be incomplete or even erroneous, but more likely afraid of Catholic reprisals?), which was pushed through the press by his one and only pupil Georg Joachim Rheticus (Rhaeticus) (von Lauchen) (1514-74) (a Lutheran math prof. whose father had been executed for heresy), and is pub. posth. in safe Protestant Nuremberg; it is (fawningly?) dedicated to Pope Paul III, and incl. a cautious (mendacious?) Preface by Andreas Osiander (1498-1552) of Konigsberg, stating that the revolution of the Earth is a mere mathematical convenience and not necessarily a physical fact (although Coppertone Baby had considered it otherwise?); "There have already been widespread reports about the novel hypotheses of this work, which declares that the Earth moves whereas the Sun is at rest in the center of the Universe. Hence certain scholars, I have no doubt, are deeply offended and believe that the liberal arts, which were established long ago on a sound basis, should not be thrown into confusion. But if these men are willing to examine the matter closely, they will find that the author of this work has done nothing blameworthy. For it is the duty of an astronomer to compose the history of the celestial motions through careful and expert study. Then he must conceive and devise the causes of these motions or hypotheses about them. Since he cannot in any way attain to the true causes, he will adopt whatever suppositions enable the motions to be computed correctly from the principles of geometry for the future as well as for the past. The present author has performed both these duties excellently. For these hypotheses need not be true nor even probable. On the contrary, if they provide a calculus consistent with the observations, that alone is enough. Perhaps there is someone who is so ignorant of geometry and optics that he regards the epicyclc of Venus as probable, or thinks that it is the reason why Venus sometimes precedes and sometimes follows the Sun by forty degrees and even more. Is there anyone who is not aware that from this assumption it necessarily follows that the diameter of the planet at perigee should appear more than four times, and the body of the planet more than sixteen times, as great as at apogee?"; "The massive bulk of the Earth does indeed shrink to insignificance in comparison with the size of the heavens" (Copernicus); the kind of reception awaiting Copernicus' followers is shown right away when the first Auto da Fe, AKA Act of Faith, or burning alive of heretics (Protestants) by the Spanish Inquisition dressed in weird sinister hoods takes place in 1543 in the island of Goa (goa to Hell, you heretics?), and Pope Paul III issues his first Index Librorum Prohibitorum (Index of Prohibited Books); each lucky heretic gets to wear a black sanbenito painted with flames and devils to his own BBQ - toast them marshmallows on a stick, hooray for Christ? In 1552 Rheticus pub. Canon of the Science of Triangles, the first Euro pub. of 6-function trig tables.

Is it Science or is it Porno? In 1543 after becoming prof. of anatomy at Padua in 1537 (until 1544), founding a school that turns up the heat on the subject no matter whom it shocks, Dutch Flemish anatomist Andreas Vesalius (Andre Vesale) (Andreas Vesal) (Andreas van Wesel) (1514-64) pub. The Fabric of the Human Body (De Humani Corporis Fabrica) (7 vols.), and the companion vol. Epitome (both in Basel), with illustrations by Titian's studio, the first illustrated anatomy of the human body, and the most detailed and extensive to date. Too bad, after being persecuted as a graverobber, sorcerer et al., he dies in poverty in a shipwreck while returning from the Holy Land.

In 1544 Georg Hartmann of Germany discovers the Magnetic Dip (Inclination) of the compass. In 1576 English hydrographer Robert Norman rediscovers it.

In 1544 Bolognese physician-botanist Luca Ghini (1490-1556) creates the first known Herbarium (Hortus Siccus) in Pisa, gluing dried plants to cardboard; in 1554-8 he is succeeded by Italian physician-botanist Andrea Cesalpino (1519-1603), who is later called to be a prof. of medicine at the U. of Rome and physician to Pope Clement VIII, trying to figure out the circulation of the blood by explaining it as due to repeated evaporation and condensation, getting closer to the truth than anybody until William Harvey, pub. Quaestionum Peripateticarum in 1571; in 1593 he follows with Queaestionum Medicarum (2 vols.), which discusses the circulation of the blood but fails to form any clear picture. In 1596 he pub. De Metallicis (3 vols.) (Rome), a work on chemistry, mineralogy, and geology, showing a correct understanding of fossils, and anticipating some of the discoveries of Antoine Lavoisier and Rene Just Hauy.

In 1544 the cultivation and consumption of the tomato (golden apple) is first described in European lit. in a herbal by Siena, Italy-born physician-botanist Pietro Andrea Gregorio Mattioli (Matthiolus) (1501-77).

In 1545 Flemish printer (refugee in London) Thomas Geminus (Lambrit) (1510-62) pub. Compendiosa Totius Anatomie Delineatio, Aere Exarata (A Complete Delineation of the Entire Anatomy, Engraved on Copper), showing how cheaper is better, replacing hand-painted illuminations and woodcuts, hastening the spread of know know knowledge.

In 1546 Glauchau, Saxony, Germany-born "Father of Mineralogy" Georgius Agricola (Georg Bauer or Pawer) (1494-1555), De Natura Fossilium; first attempt to categorize rocks, minerals, and sediments since Pliny's "Natural History; in their 1912 English tr., Herbert and Lou Hoover wrongly claim that he coined and first used the term "petroleum" (Lat. "rock oil") here.

In 1546 Flemish geographer-cartographer Gerardus (Gerhardus) Mercator (1512-94) (Lat. "merchant") states that the Earth has a magnetic pole. In 1568 he develops the Mercator Projection, a cylindrical projection for maps and charts, and pub. a World Projection showing North and South Am. separated from Europe and Asia by vast oceans, which wows the crowds and pretty much puts the flat Earthers out of biz?; the distortion shows Greenland as larger than South Am., shrinking Africa and other equatorial regions and enlarging the polar areas - motivated by white racism?

In the 1550s the Screwdriver and Wrench are invented by Euro gunsmiths and armorers? Also in the 1550s Sealing Wax is first used in Europe.

In 1550 Gerolamo (Girolamo) (Geronimo) Cardano (1501-76) of Italy describes the Biconvex Lens in use in a camera obscura.

In 1551 Swiss naturalist Conrad Gessner (Konrad von Gesner) (1516-65) pub. Historiae Animalium (5 vols.) (4.5K pages) (1551-8), founding modern Zoology (Animal Biology); in 1554 he pub. the first scientific description of the Guinea pig; the earliest known portrait of a guinea pig is painted in Elizabethan England in 1580.

In 1552 English physician John Caius (Kays) (1510-73) (pr. like keys) (of Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge fame) pub. the first clear description of Sweating Sickness.

In 1552 Roman anatomist Bartolommeo Eustachio (Lat. "giving fruit") (1500-74) discovers the Eustachian Tubes, the adrenal glands, and the detailed structure of the teeth, but his discoveries are not pub. until 1611 (1714) in Tabulae Anatomicae and Libellus de Dentibus.

In 1553 French naturalist Peter Baleen, er, Pierre Belon (1517-64) pub. De Aquatilibus, the first scientific study of marine animals, revealing that cetaceans (whales, dolphins, porpoises) breathe air with lungs, and other shocking discoveries.

In 1553 before being burned, Catalan scholar Miguel Serveto (Servetus) (1511-53) pub. Christianismi Restitutio, a theological discussion in which he mentions that blood passes from the right to left ventricle via the lungs, where it changes color, becoming the first Westerner to pub. the theory of the pulmonary circulation; he had been a pupil of Johannes Gunther of Andernach in Paris at the same time as Vesalius.

In 1554 Italian naturalist ("Father of Natural History Studies") Ulisse Aldrovandi (1522-1605) (author of the first book on fishes that doesn't lump them with other aquatic forms, and founder of the first botanical garden in Europe in Bologna) pub. the 17-vol. Herbarium, becoming the biggest herbarium of the cent.

In 1554 Realdo Colombo's Catalan pupil Juan Valverde de Amusco (Hamusco) (1525-?) pub. the first account of the Pulmonary (Lesser) Circulation.

In 1557 French Huguenot potter Bernard Palissy (1510-89) invents Enamel after 16 years spent trying to imitate Chinese porcelain, causing imitators to begin cranking out Palissy Ware, featuring molds of real creatures incl. fish and crabs; in 1580 he pub. In 1580 French Huguenot pottery maker Discours admirables, de la nature des eaux et fontaines, tant naturelles qu'artificielles, des metaux, des sels et salines, des pierres, des terres, du feu et des maux (Paris), which applies ancient Alexandrian principles of hydraulics, and incl. a theory of the origin of springs and underground waters, enunciating the modern theory of the origin of fossils.

In 1557 Jean Pena, royal mathematician at Paris rejects the spheres of fire and of the planets after determining by optical reasoning that some comets are beyond the Moon.

In 1557 English mathematician Robert Recorde (1510-58) pub. The Whetstone of Witte, which introduces the = (equals) symbol into mathematics.

In 1557 Italian scholar-physician Julius Caesar Scaliger (1484-1558) discovers the metallic element Platinum (pt) (#78)

In 1558-70 Italian polymath philosopher Giambattista della Porta (1535-1615) pub. Magia Naturalis (Natural Magic) (20 vols.), "Wherein are set forth all the riches and delights of the Natural Sciences", explaining the difference between magical and physical events such as magnetism, and showing how to put a convex lens inside the aperture of a camera obscura to brighten the projected image, making it more popular. In 1560 he founds the Academia Secretorum Naturae (Accademia dei Segreti), the first modern scientific society in Naples; it is ordered closed by the Church in 1580.

In 1559 Italian anatomist Renaldus Columbus (Matteo Realdo Colombo) (1516-59) pub. De Re Anatomica, which puts forward the idea of pulmonary blood circulation, and details experiments supporting it, incl. finding that the pulmonary vein contains blood not fumes like the Galenists claimed; describes the position and posture of the human embryo, and provides the first description of Ankylosing Spondylitis, which causes the vertebrae to fuse together; claims to be the first anatomist to observe the clitoris, "seat of woman's delight", uttering the immortal soundbyte "Since no one has discerned these projections and their workings, if it is permissible to give names to things discovered by me, it should be called the love or sweetness of Venus" - so we have to eat the box to get the fiber?

In 1565 the Royal College of Physicians in London is empowered to carry out human dissections.

In 1565 the first known drawings of fossils are pub. by Swiss naturalist Conrad Gessner (Konrad von Gesner) (1516-65); meanwhile the first Graphite (Plumbago) Pencils (invented by von Gesner) begin to be manufactured in England from graphite mined in Borrowdale in the Lake District of N England, the purity being so high that it corners the Euro market

In 1565 Italian Renaissance anti-Aristotelian philosopher-scientist ("First of the Moderns") Bernardino Telesio (1508-88) pub. De Rerum Natura Luxta Propria Principia (On the Nature of Things According to Their Own Principles), basing his theory on not matter and form but matter and force, the latter consisting of heat (which expands) and cold (which contracts); too bad, his attacks on Aristotelianism piss-off the Church, and his books are banned for awhile after his death.

In 1567 Italian mathematician Fabrizio Mordente (1532-1608) pub. the first description of the Proportional (Military) Compass (Sector).

On July 13, 1568 Alexander Nowell (1507-62), dean of St. Paul's in London leaves his bottle of beer by a river bank for a few days, and when he comes back it "opened with a bang" and was "very tasty", becoming the first known mention of Bottled Beer.

In 1569 Jacques Besson (1540-76) of France pub. Theatrum Instrumentorum (Theatrum de Instrumens Mathematiques et Mechaniques), describing his screw-cutting lathe designs, incl. cams and plates, making him the 2nd Leonardo da Vinci?

In 1570 Sir Henry Billingsley ((-1606) pub. The Elements of Geometrie of the Most Ancient Philosopher Euclide of Megara, the first English trans. of "Euclid's Elements"; printed in folio by John Day, incl. several 3-D fold-up diagrams illustrating solid geometry; the preface by mathematicisn-astrologer John Dee (1527-1609) extols the virtues of mathematics, becoming more important than Francis Bacon's "The Advancement of Learning" (1605).

In 1571 English mathematician Leonard Digges (1520-59) invents the Theodolite for surveying, and pub. Pantometria, a manual of surveying, pitching his father Leonard Digges (1520-59) as the inventor of the reflecting and refracting telescopes between 1540-59; too bad, he brags too much and claims that he could "read letters, numbered pieces of money with the very coin and superscription thereof, cast by some of his friends of purpose upon downs in open fields, but also seven miles off declared what hath been done at that instant in private places."

In 1571 the Strasbourg Cathedral Astronomical Clock, designed by Conrad Dasypodius (1530-1600) is begun by brothers Isaac Habrecht (1544-1620) and Josias Habrecht (1552-75) from Schaffhausen, becoming the flagship of math, physics, and scientific know-how (finished 1574) (replaced 1842).

In 1571 Croatian-born Italian Platonic philosopher-scientist Franciscus Patricius (Francesco Patrizi or Patrizzi) of Cherso (1529-97) (student of Bernardino Telesio and master of Giordano Bruno) pub. Discussiones Peripateticae (Discussionum Peripateticorum) (15 vols.) (Basel), which claims that Aristotle's teachings directly oppose Christianity, while Plato's foreshadow it, attacking Aristotle's life and character and the authenticity of his works, attempting to refute his doctrines theologically. In 1591 he pub. Nova de Universis Philosophia (New Philosophy of Ideas) (Basel), which goes back to the Ionians and Presocratics to portray God as "First Light", which is later adopted by Galileo to mathematize physics.

On Aug. 3, 1571 after an 11-mo. siege, 70K Turks capture Famagusta, capital and chief city of Cyprus, and massacre its pop.; on Oct. 7 after Pope (1566-72) Pius V (Antonio Michele Ghislieri) (1504-72) signs the Holy League Alliance with Spain and Venice, 200 Spanish and Venetian galleys under 24-y.-o. Don John (Juan) of Austria (1547-78) (half-brother of Philip II of Spain, and illegitimate son of HRE Charles V) defeat the 230-galley Turkish fleet at the 6-hour Battle of Lepanto (Naupactos) in a bay at the mouth of the Gulf of Patras (entrance to the Gulf of Corinth) off Lepanto in W Greece (biggest naval battle in Mediterranean history?) (last major naval battle fought exclusively by rowing vessels?) just before 5 p.m., with 12K Christian casualties vs. 6K Muslim POWs taken and 30K of 56K KIA, incl. Turkish fleet grand adm. Muezzinzade Ali Pasha aboard his ship, becoming the first defeat of Muslims by Christians on the sea, a big V for Western military technology, and the beginning of the end of the Ottoman naval threat in the C Mediterranean, destroying the myth of their invicibility, although both fleets are heavily damaged and the Ottomans speedily rebuild their fleet and restore their supremacy on the W and E sides; Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1547-1616) is wounded in the battle, calling it "the most noble and memorable event that past centuries have seen or future generations can ever hope to witness"; Italian-born Muslim convert Ottoman adm. Uluj Ali Reis (Giovanni Diongini Galeni) (1519-87) captures the flagship of the Maltese Knights along with its great banner before gathering the fleet's remaining 87 ships and returning to Constantinople, getting promoted on Oct. 29 to grand adm.; since most of the Ottoman sailors had been sent home for winter and the rest were involved in political squabbles, and the Christians outnumbered them, it was an overrated V for Christ?; the failures of war galleys cause their use to decline as better designs are sought and bigger vessels built; many Muslim POWs are taken and used to man Christian oars; bald, white-bearded future saint Pope Pius V allegedly sees the V in a vision in Rome at the exact moment it happens, ascribing it to intercession by Our Lady the Virgin Mary, even though he isn't informed of it officially until Oct. 21? - Playtex, who knows you like we do?

In 1572 Danish metal-nosed astronomer Tycho Brahe (1546-1601) (known for keeping a tamed elk and a dwarf named Jepp as a jester) discovers a supernova ("New Star") in the constellation Cassiopeia, startling the establishment, who believe that the heavens are unchanging; the discovery wows Danish king Frederick II, who in 1575 pays for Uraniborg Castle ("fortress of the heavens"), with a complete observatory on Hven Island between Sweden and Denmark; he also produces the first star catalog, correcting grave errors in the Alfonsine and Prutenic Tables; meanwhile English astronomer Thomas Digges (1546-95) uses the parallax of the supernova to conclude that it has to lie beyond the orbit of the Moon, shocking the establishment, which believes that no change can take place among the fixed stars. In 1577 Brahe measures a comet as at least 4x as distant as the Moon, proving that they're not atmospheric phenomena. In 1576 Thomas Digges pub. A Prognostication Everlasting, his father's perpetual almanac, with a new appendix containing the first detailed discussion of the Copernican heliocentric theory in the English language; "This orb of stars fixed infinitely up extends itself in altitude spherically, and therefore immovable the palace of felicity garnished with perpetual shining glorious lights innumerable, far excelling over [the] Sun both in quantity and quality the very court of celestial angels, devoid of grief and replenished with perfect endless joy, the habitacle for the elect."

In 1572 Italian mathematician Rafael Bombelli (1526-72) pub. Algebra, which shows the use of continued fractions.

In 1573 Constanzo Varolio (1543-75) of Italy pioneers a new method of dissecting the brain by starting at the base, and discovers the Optic Nerve and Pons.

In 1575 Spanish physician Juan Huarte de San Juan (y Navarro) (1529-88) pub. Examin de Ingenios para las Ciencias, becoming the first to connect psychology with physiology.

In 1576 Flemish physician-botanist Carolus Clusius (1526-1609) pub. a treatise on the flowers of Spain and Portugal, founding Modern Botany.

In 1576 French mathematician Francois Viete (Franciscus Vieta) (1540-603) discovers Decimal Fractions. In 1591 he pub. In Artem Analyticem (Analyticam) Isagoge, the first book to use letters for algebraic quantities (consonants for constants, vowels for variables), inventing Analytical Trigonometry.

In Jan. 1580 after Muslim religious leaders object to it, Sultan Murad III orders the destruction of the astronomical observatory in Constantinople.

In 1581 with clocklike precision, Italian scientist Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) discovers that the time taken by a swinging lamp in the Cathedral of Pisa does not depend on the angle through which it swings (i.e., a pendulum swings isochronously). In 1591 he drops a 1 lb. and a 100 lb. weight from the Tower of Pisa simultaneously to prove a point in physics about bodies falling at the same speed regardless of mass, refuting the know-it-all Aristotelians. In 1593 he invents the Thermoscope, a primitive uncalibrated thermometer used as a novelty perpetual motion machine.

Speaking of clocks, er, calendars. On Feb. 24, 1582 upon the recommendation of German Jesuit astronomer Christopher Clavius (1538-1612), Pope (since May 13, 1572) Gregory XIII (1502-85) issues the bull Inter Gravissimas, decreeing a changeover from the Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar; 10 days (lost since Jan. 1, -46, when the Julian Calendar began) are to be dropped, so that Oct. 15 (Fri.) immediately follows Oct. 4, or Dec. 20 (Mon.) follows Dec. 9; the Papal States, Spain, Portugal, and Poland change in Oct., France, Holland, Belgium, and Scandinavia in Dec.; the Roman Catholic states of Germany and Switzerland adopt it in 1584, followed by Hungary in 1587; too bad, Protestant countries suspect a rat and refuse to change, and the Continental Protestant states hold out until 1700, and England and its colonies till 1752; Russia holds out until 1918, Greece until 1924, and non-Euro states don't adopt it until the 19th and 20th cents., Japan in 1873, Egypt in 1875, Turkey in 1926, and China in 1949; the figure for the length of the year from Copernicus' De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium is proposed but not used as the basis of the reform calendar; after a suggestion by Vatican librarian Topo Gigio, er, Aloysius Lilius (Luigi Lilio or Giglio) (1510-76), only century years (1600, 1700, etc.) with the century part itself evenly divisible by four (1600 but not 1700) are leap years, which causes three leap years to be taken out of each 400, trimming the avg. calendar year down quite fortunately to only about 26 sec. longer than the Earth's real orbital period, which will take 3,323 years to become 1 day out of synch; too bad, there should have been a 13-day discrepancy, not a 10-day one, causing the Phantom Time Hypothesis to be developed by Herbert Illig (1947-), Anatoly Fomenko (1945-), Uwe Topper (1940-) et al., that phony phantom centuries were manufactured during the Renaissance to create a nonexistent Dark Ages; Pope Gregory's new calendar for the Christian world changes the date of the new year from Apr. 1 to Jan. 1, and those who still celebrate New Year's Day on Apr. 1 begin to be known as April Fools.

In 1585 Bartholomew Newsam (1530-87) of the Strand, London constructs the first English traveling and standing clocks.

In 1585 Flemish mathematician-engineer Simon Stevin (Stevinus) (1548-1620) pub. the booklet "Die Thiende" (The Art of Tenths), expounding the use of decimal fractions, causing their daily use; he goes on to predict the universal introduction of decimal coinage, weights, and measures; in 1600 he invents the first wind-driven land vehicle.

In 1590 German scholastic philosopher (believer in withcraft) Rudolph (Rudolf) Goclenius (Gockel) (Göckel) (1547-1628) coins the term "psychology"; really coined in the 1530s by Croatian humanist Marko Marulic (1450-1524)?

About 1590 the first linen Condoms are used in Italy to prevent disease, after which their contraceptive use begins to be recognized - not that everybody didn't want big families to support them in their old age?

In 1590 Dutch spectacle-maker Zacharias Janssen (1580-1638) allegedly invents the Compound Microscope, using two double convex lenses in a tube.

In 1594 Italian "Father of Embryology" Hieronymus Fabricius (Girolamo Fabrici) (1537-1619) of the U. of Padua (Galileo's personal physician and William Harvey's teacher) performs the first public dissection. In 1600 he pub. Tabulae Pictae, which announces his discovery of the cerebral fissure. In 1604 he pub. De Formata Foetu, a study of human embryology, containing his discovery that leg veins have unidirectional valves permitting blood to flow only toward the heart, and that blood circulates in the fetus through the umbilical cord.

In 1594 Windmills are first used in Holland to drive mechanical saws by sawmill owner Cornelis Corneliszoon van of Uitgeest (Krelis Lootjes) (1550-1600), who speeds up the conversion of log timber into planks by 30x.

In 1595 German mathematician Bartholomaeus (Barthelemy) (Bartholomeo) Pitiscus (1561-1613) pub. the Latin work Trigonometria: sive de solutione triangulorum tractatus brevis et perspicuus (5 vols.) in Heidelberg, coining the term "trigonometry", which carries into English (1614) and French (1619) translations; je first borrows, er, uses decimal pits, er, points in his trigonometry tables, which he gets the big idea of using for problems on Earth instead of the heavens.

In 1596 Sir John Harington (Harrington) (1560-1612), a godson of Elizabeth I pub. A New Discourse of a Stale Subject, Called the Metamorphosis of Ajax, which punningly describes his invention of the first practical jakes (john) (flush toilet), complete with a water tank above, and a faucetlike handle for flushing, which he built for the queen at her palace in Richmond; the ridicule it draws causes the queen to banish him, deny a patent on grounds of propriety, and remove the stinking contraption, with the smell wafting up through the pipe (it takes until 1775 to figure out to put a curve in the pipe) - get that hairy john out of my bath?

In 1597 English gay brain man Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626) pub. Essays, Civil and Moral, Vol. 1, which describes the process of inductive reasoning, reversing Aristotle and his process of deductive reasoning, becoming the beginning of formal scientific thought in Europe.

In 1597 German physician-chemist Andreas (Andrew) Libavius (1555-1616) pub. Alchymia, the first systematic chemistry textbook; describes the use of chemistry for drugs, acknowledging the possibility of transmutation; describes how ammonia turns cuprous salt solutions dark blue; first to claim that fermentation and putrefaction are different processes, and to describe a method for distilling alcohol; describes how to make many useful chemicals such as hydrochloric acid and ammonium sulphate.

In 1598 Cornelius (Cornelis) Drebbel (1572-1633) of Holland receives a patent for a pump and clock that operates by perpetual motion powered by atmospheric changes, causing him to become a star in scientific circles.

On Feb. 17, 1600 after Cardinal Robert Bellarmine (1542-1621) demands a full recantation of his philosophy, and he appeals to Pope Clement VIII hoping only for a partial recantation, and the pope responds by telling them to burn the bum, Italian philosopher Giordano Roddenberry, er, Giordano Bruno (b. 1548) tells them "Perhaps you, my judges, pronounce this sentence against me with greater fear than I receive it", then is led naked to the Campo de' Fiori in Rome, "his tongue imprisoned because of his wicked words", and burned at the stake for his heretical opinions, esp. the infinity of inhabited worlds; "He insisted till the end always in his damned refractoriness and twisted brain and his mind with a thousand errors. Yes, he didn't give up his stubbornness, not even when the court ushers took him away to the Campo de' Fiori. There his clothes were taken off, he was bound to a stake and burned alive. In all this time he was accompanied by our fraternity, who sang constant litanies, while the comforters tried till the last moment to break his stubborn resistance, till he gave up his miserable and pitiable life" (Fraternity of St. John the Beheaded, 1889); his works are placed on the Vatican's Prohibited Index in 1603, and he becomes a martyr to Trekkies, er, scientists, who claim he was burned just for his Copernican views, causing the Church to claim it was only because of his heretical religious beliefs, incl. that Jesus Christ was merely a magician, the Holy Ghost is the soul of the world, and the Devil can be saved, although the Church gives it away at the time by using the same rooms where he is questioned to persecute Galileo Galilei; his death seems to propel scientific effort in Protestant countries; in 1889 a monument to him backed by Victor Hugo, Herbert Spencer, Ernest Renan, Ernst Haeckel, Henrik Ibsen et al. is erected on the site of his execution, and another is erected in Berlin on Mar. 2, 2008; in 2000 Pope John Paul II expresses "profound sorrow" for what his church did - Burn Bruno Burn is how many years from Live Long and Prosper?

In 1600 English royal physician William Gilbert (1544-1603) pub. De Magnete, Magneticisque Corporibus, et de Magno Magnete, Tellure, Physiologica Nova, the first great English scientific work, containing his discovery that the Earth itself (not just some island in the N) is a giant magnet, and coins the terms "electricity" (Lat. "electricus" = like amber in its attractive properties), "electric force", "electric attraction", and "magnetic pole".

About 1600 HRE Rudolf II's jewel cutter Caspar Lehmann invents the cut-glass process.

Also in 1600-1 English superbrain William Shakespeare (1564-1616) writes The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, not everybody has to go into science.

In 1603 Bolognese alchemist Vincenzo Cascariolo discovers Lapis Solaris, a heated mixture of powdered barite (heavy spar) (barium sulfate) and coal that gives off a bluish glow at night and is recharged by exposure to sunlight, pioneering the study of luminiscence; thinking it's the fabled Philosopher's Stone that turns inferior metals to gold, he starts the myth of the Bologna Stone.

In 1603 German Jesuit astronomer Christoph Scheiner (1575-1650) invents the Pantograph (Gr. "pant" + "graph" = all/every + write) for reproducing enlarged or reduced maps and drawings; he doesn't pub. the invention until 1631 - without fishing your socks from the bottom of the sheets? In 1821 Scottish mathematician-astronomer William Wallace (1768-1843) improves the pantograph, inventing the Eidograph.

In 1606 Welsh clergyman-mathematician Edmund Gunter (1581-1626) invents Gunter's Chain for surveying, consisting of 100 links of 7.92 in. each (66 ft. total). In 1622 he discovers the magnetic variation of the compass, i.e., that the magnetic needle does not retain the same declination in the same place over time.

Two ways to shoot the Moon? In 1608 Dutch eyeglass maker Hans (Johann) Lippershey (1570-1619) applies for a patent for the telescope (Gr. "far-seeing"), which is first used to look at the sky by Galileo, who constructs his own next July 1 mo. after hearing about it.

In 1609 the salary of Pisa-born Italian scientist Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) is doubled by the senate of Venice for his invention of the Astronomical Telescope after he views the Moon at 6X magnification in Aug. (later increased to 20X), noting that it has mountains, and discovers Jupiter's moons (not all 63 of them); a believer in astrology, he prepares the horoscope of the Grand Duke of Tuscany and predicts that he will have a long life, only to see him die a few weeks later - a little bit of bacon, a little bit of beans?

In 1609 the first Rinderpest Zanzootic (cattle plague) begins (ends 1713), causing a simultaneous anthrax pandemic that kills 60K in S Europe by 1713; others follow in the 1740s and 1770s, killing 200M cattle by 1769, 20% of the total pop.; meanwhile Venetian physician Bernardino Ramazzini (1633-1714) begins scientific study of the causes of rinderpest, causing him to suggest immunization.

On Jan. 7, 1610 Galileo sights four of Jupiter's moons (Ganymede, Io, Europa, Callisto), calling them the Medician Stars after the Medicis; by the end of the year he observes the Phases of Venus, becoming the first direct evidence for the Copernican Theory, which he waits until 1613 to pub. In 1610 Galileo pub. Siderial (Starry) Messenger (Sidereus Nuncius), becoming the first pub. look at the sky through a telescope, bolstering the Copernican theory with its description of the mountains on the Moon and the four satellites of Jupiter ("sideria Medicea"), a mini-model of Copernicus' Solar System; he also discovers sunspots, and uses them to estimate the rate of the Sun's rotation, which really freaks out the Aristotelians, who believe in the immutability of the "perfect" heavenly bodies; next year Johannes Kepler coins the word "satellite", from the Latin word for assistant.

In 1610 French chemist Jean Beguin (1550-1620) pub. Tyrocinium Chymicum (Beginner's Chemistry) in Paris, becoming the first chemistry textbook.

In 1610 after beating Galileo by 4 mo. and making the first drawing of the Moon through a telescope on July 26, 1609, English astronomer Thomas Harriot (1560-1621) discovers sunspots - you're the cream in my coffee?

In 1610 French astronomer Nicolas-Claude Fabri de Pieresc (1580-1637) discovers the Orion Nebula.

In 1611 Dalmatian ecclesiastic Marco Antonio de Dominis (1560-1624) pub. the first scientific explanation of the rainbow.

In 1611 German astronomer Johannes Kepler (1571-1630) pub. Dioptrice, containing the first explanation of the optics of myopia, and the first theory of the rainbow; also describes the double convex microscope; he also pub. Phyllotaxis, which mentions the Fibonacci Sequence. In 1604 he pub. Supplement to Witelo, Expounding the Optical Part of Astronomy, incl. Ad Vitellionem Paralipomena, the first explanation of the optics of the human eye. In 1618 he pub. Epitome Astronomia Copernicanae (The Epitome of Copernican Astronomy), a textbook on astronomy which describes it in modern terms, replacing scholastic mumbo-jumbo with observation, translation into numbers, and use of mathematical models to form hypotheses which "save the appearances" and describe the true motions of the planets and their causes, which had been hidden in "God's pandects"; those who can penetrate his shrouded Latin prose get a shock; Kepler's salary, which is paid only irregularly before the Thirty Years' War, is hardly paid at all; his mommy is charged with witchcraft during one of the many German witch hunts, and narrowly escapes execution; meanwhile, the Catholics keep persecuting him for not worshipping images and saints, and even his fellow Lutherans in Linz exclude him from their Evening Meal because he doesn't believe in God's omnipresence; "Suffering along with many brothers for the sake of religion and for the glory of Christ by enduring harm and disgrace, by leaving one's house, fields, friends, and home, I would never have believed all of this could be so agreeable." (Kepler) In 1619 he pub. Harmonices Mundi (The Harmony of the World), which contains his Third Law of Planetary Motion (the squares of the periods of revolution are proportional to the cubes of the mean distances).

In 1611 Simon Sturtevant of England first uses coke to make iron.

Also in 1611 the King James (Authorized) Version of the Holy Bible (66 books) is pub. in England, throwing Science for another big loop; commissioned in 1604 (lucky that the 1605 Guy Fawkes Plot to replace the govt. with Roman Catholics didn't succeed), with the work divided between ? translators (? Anglican, ? Puritan, 0 Roman Catholics, 0 Separatists) in six committees with 15 rules to follow, using ancient mss. for reliability, and deliberately preserving ambiguities, e.g. Romans 5:12: "Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned" (can mean that all men die because of sin, and that all men sin because they are under God's judgment of death); most of the language is William Tyndale's, but without the pesky marginal notes challenging the divine right of kings; James I's planned royal authorization of the final work never happens?; the intent is to make "of many good translations one principal good one", according to translator Miles Smith (1554-1624) in Preface to the Translation; it takes its place beside the Bishops' Bible (official vers. for use in Anglican churches, original ed. 1568, revised ed. 1602) (basic source for the King James Bible?), the Geneva Bible (1575) (known for Calvinist-slanted footnotes dissing the divine right of kings, always translating the word king as tyrant), and the 1582 Rheims trans. of the 5th cent. Roman Catholic Vulgate; too bad, the King James Bible is initially universally panned, and the Puritans continue to use the Geneva Bible, causing Charles I to ban it in 1644, leading to the Puritans taking over the govt. and beheading him in 1649, later realizing the superiority of the KJV; translator Lancelot Andrewes (1555-1626), master of Pembroke College, Cambridge U. is appointed bishop of Winchester in 1619, becoming the mentor of Reformed Roman Catholicism in the post-Reformation Anglican Church; the notes on the trans. process are stored in Whitehall, and are destroyed in the 1598 Whitehall Fire; in modern times the Ruckmanists claim special divine inspiration for the translators, even though they are govt. employees told what to do by the hardly saintly king, and explicitly deny special inspiration; a case of disguised Am. WASP racism?

In 1612 German astronomer Simon Marius (1573-1625) rediscovers the Andromeda Nebula, which was first noted by the Muslims in 963.

In 1613 Caspar Bartholin the Elder (1585-1629) becomes prof. of medicine at Copenhagen U., after which two generations of descendants keep the chair for the next 125 years, making key discoveries in anatomy and medicine; still having a foot in both camps, in 1624 Caspar falls ill, makes a vow that if he recovers he will switch to divinity, then switches to prof. of divinity - back when Science was still small enough to become a family thang?

In 1613 Copper coins first come into use in Europe - got the idea from Pocahontas? In 1613 German miners become the first to use explosives in mining with drilling.

In July 1613 Galileo Galilei and his archenemy Lodovico delle Colombe (1565-1616) (known for challenging his idea that the Earth revolves around the Sun) debate in Florence on the question of why ice floats on water, with Galileo arguing that ice floats because it's less dense than water, and delle Colombe winning after floating a thin wafer of ebony using surface tension.

In 1614 Scottish Protestant mathematician John Napier (Neper) of Merchiston (1550-1617) pub. Description of the Marvelous Canon of Logarithms (Mirifici Logarithmorum Canonis Descriptio), which gives mathematicians and astronomers a new improved method of computation, and uses the decimal point to express decimal fractions. In 1621-2 William Oughtred (1574-1660) of England invents the logarithmic scale along with the slide rule, which does multiplication and division by adding and subtracting logarithms - did it hurt? Oughtred also coins the terms "x" for multiplication, "sin" for sine, and "cos" for cosine.

In 1614 Swiss physician Felix Platter (Plater) (1536-1614) first describes Dupuytren's Disease; the first proponent of the Germ Theory of Disease?

In 1614 German astronomer Simon Marius (1573-1624) pub. Mundus Iovialis (Jovalis), which claims to have discovered Jupiter's four major moons before Galileo; true or not, he names them Io, Europa, Ganymede (largest moon in the Solar System), and Callisto (3rd largest moon in the Solar System, but only 99% the diam. of Mercury) (always shows same face toward Jupiter); Io, Europa and Ganymede have an orbital resonance that gives them tidal heating.

In 1615 beleaguered Italian scientist Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) writes an Open Letter to Madame Cristina of Lorraine, Grand Duchess of Tuscany on his Copernican views, trying to clear himself of the appearance of being an unbeliever, claiming that the Book of Nature is to be read in the language of mathematical science, while the Scriptures when referring to physical fact are not to be taken literally, "nor does God reveal himself less admirably in the effects of Nature than in the sacred words of Scripture"; the purpose of the Scriptures is to teach us "how to go to heaven, not how the heavens go"; the priestly authorities are not amused, and in Dec. Galileo is summoned before the Inquisition in Rome and put on trial for his scientific views in a super-rigged trial; "To assert that the Earth revolves around the Sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin" (Cardinal Robert Bellarmine (1542-1621), head of the Congregation of the Holy Office, who personally framed the decision to burn Giordano Bruno in 1600, and is not a student of astronomy); Galileo's observations with the telescope actually backed the Tychonic view that the Earth doesn't move, but he stuck with the Copernican system anyway, and was just lucky?

On Feb. 16, 1616 Galileo writes a letter to Monsignor Dini, trying to clear himself of charges of heresy and blasphemy, but failing to convince the Church of the truth of Copernicanism; on Feb. 24 the Qualifiers of the Holy Office pub. a Report on the Bad Boy Galileo condemning the proposition that "the Sun is the center of the world and entirely devoid of local motion" as "foolish and absurd philosophically, and formally heretical", while the proposition that "the Earth is not the center of the world nor immovable, but moves as a whole, and also with a daily motion" is "to receive the same censure in philosophy and, as regards theological truth, to be at least erroneous in faith"; on Feb. 26 Galileo is ordered by Holy Office Commissioner Gen. Vincenzo Maculano da Firenzuola "to relinquish altogether the said opinion that the Sun is the center of the world and immovable and that the Earth moves, nor further to hold, teach or defend it in any way whatsoever, verbally or in writing"; on Mar. 3 the Congregation of the Index, headed by Cardinal Robert Bellarmine (1542-1621), without mentioning Galileo by name bans all writings which treat Copernicanism as anything but an unproven hypothesis, and prohibits Copernicus' 1543 De Revolutionibus from pub. until it is "corrected" to state that it is only presenting a hypothesis (done in 1620); the anti-Copernican decree, which is never officially ratified by the pope is not annulled until 1757; as chastened Galileo mumbles, "epur si muove" (nevertheless, it moves).

In 1616 English physician William Harvey (1578-1657) first reveals the function of the heart and complete circulation of the blood at the Royal College of Physicians in London, causing detractors to begin calling him "the Circulator". In 1628 he pub. On the Motion of the Heart and Blood in Animals (Exercitatio Anatomica de Motu Cordis et Sanguinis), containing the first accurate theory of the heart and circulatory system.

In 1616 Italian philosopher Lucilio Vanini (1585-1619), who likes to call himself Giulio Cesare (his real name and he's just lucky?) suggests that humans evolved from apes; he is burned for it three years later - did they do the ape imitations too?

In 1616 Italian physician Santorio Santorii (Sanctorius) (1561-1636) invents the first Medical Thermometer - guess where they sanctimoniously stick it?

In 1617 Dutch mathematician-astronomer Willebrord Snell (Snellius) (Willebrord Snel van Royen or Roigen or Roijen) (1580-1626) first describes a method for surveying by triangulation, taken from ancient Greek mathematician Eratosthenes; he also uses 96-sided polygons to improve the value of pi from 2 to 7 decimal places. In 1621 he discovers Snell's Law of Refraction, a sine ratio called the refractive index between the angles of incidence and refraction of light entering a block of glass; too bad, he doesn't pub. it, and it takes until 1703 for Huygen to pub. his results in his "Dioptrica".

In 1617 Galileo's collaborator Benedetto Castelli uses a telescope to determine that Mizar, one of the two stars in the Big Dipper is a binary; in 1890 Mizar A is discovered to be a binary, followed in 1908 by Mizar B, followed in 2009 by Alcor, making it a sextuplet group.

On May 23, 1618-May 15, 1648 the Thirty Years' War tears Europe apart with Protestant-Roman Catholic fighting, killing 8M.

On Nov. 10-11, 1619 (St. Martin's Day) (night) after joining the Dutch States Army in 1618, La Haye en Touraine, France-born philosopher-mathematician (Roman Catholic) (Rosicrucian) ("Father of Modern Philosophy") Rene (René) Descartes (1596-1650) has divine visions in Neuburg an der Donau, Germany in which he "discovered the foundations of a marvelous science", which later becomes Analytic Geometry, along with his famous dictum "Cogito ergo sum" (Je pense donc je suis), causing him to dedicate his life to the mathematical basis of Nature; in 1620 he leaves the army, returning to the Dutch Repub. in 1628, spending 20 years formulating his philosophical works; in 1637 after the horrific Galileo affair, he pub. Discourse on Method (Discourse on the Method of Rightly Conducting One's Reason and Seeking Truth in the Sciences (Discours de la Methode pour bien Conduire sa Raison, et Chercher le Verite dans les Sciences); an epoch-making work expounding the technique of divide and conquer, containing the three appendices (Qui Sont des Essais de Cete Methode): La Dioptrique, advancing the corpuscular theory of light; Les Meteores: Traite de la Lumiere, on cosmology; and La Geometrie, founding the field of analytic geometry and introducing the concepts of a coordinate plane and a mathematical function. In 1644 he pub. Principia Philosophiae (Principles of Philosophy) in Amsterdam, containing the ultimate philosophy soundbyte "Je pense, donc je suis" ("I think, therefore I am"); too bad, it kowtows to the Roman Catholic 1616 anti-Copernican decree by stating that "I want what I have written to be taken simply as an hypothesis, which is perhaps far removed from the truth"; it declares that all motion is relative, thus the Earth can be considered at rest like the Church dictates, drawing criticism from Newton; also that bodies can act on each other only through contact; famous for its diagrams of vortices in which planets are carried in the whirlpool of subtle matter around the Sun - don't try to fight it, don't try and save me, she's a woman in love? In 1662-4 he posth. pub. Treatise on the World, proposing the Dualistic Model of Reality, mind vs. matter.

In 1620 Niccolo Cabeo (1586-1650) of Italy discovers that electrified bodies can attract non-electrified ones and that two electrified bodies repel each other.

In 1620 Cornelius (Cornelis) Drebbel (1572-1633) of Holland invents the first navigable (steerable) Submarine, based on a leather-covered wood frame for the British Navy, and later demonstrates it to Charles I - it's corny and it dribbles, but it's all mine?

In 1623 Sir Francis Bacon invents Steganography.

In 1623 William Schickard invents the first mechanical adding device with carry; math prodigy Blaise Pascal later lays claim to its invention even though he is still shitting yellow at the time; Pascal also invents the Roulette Wheel?

In 1624 Brussels-born Belgian Flemish chemist Jan (Johannes) Baptist van Helmont (1580-1644) pub. his discovery that the atmosphere is composed of gases, and coins the term "gas" (Gr. "chaos" = unformed) for a compressible fluid - that would make it classical gas?

In 1625 German-Dutch chemist Johann Rudolf Glauber (1604-68) discovers Glauber's Salt (sodium sulfate). In 1648 he discovers (makes) hydrochloric acid.

In 1627 Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626) posth. pub. The New Atlantis, which inspires the Royal Society in 1660; "Ye shall understand (my dear friends) that amongst the excellent acts of that king, one above all hath the pre-eminence. It was the erection and institution of an Order or Society, which we call Salomon's House; the noblest foundation (as we think) that ever was upon the earth; and the lanthorn of this kingdom. It is dedicated to the study of the works and creatures of God. Some think it beareth the founder's name a little corrupted, as if it should be Solamona's House. But the records write it as it is spoken. So as I take it to be denominate of the king of the Hebrews, which is famous with you, and no stranger to us"; Bacon leaves plans for a nat. museum of science and art.

In 1628 William Harvey (1578-1657) pub. On the Motion of the Heart and Blood in Animals (Exercitatio Anatomica de Motu Cordis et Sanguinis), which contains the first accurate theory of the heart and circulatory system. In 1651 he pub. Exercitationes de Generatione Animalium, which describes the development of organs in the embryo, and declares that all living things come from eggs mating with invisible sperm (omne vivum ex ovo); "The egg is the common beginning for all animals."

In 1628 French-born Dutch mathematician Albert Gerard (Girard) (1595-1632) first uses brackets and other abbreviations in mathematics, going on to become the first to discuss imaginary numbers (square root of -1), provide an inductive definition for Fibonacci numbers, use the abbrevs. sin, cos, and tan for trig functions, and to state this year that each prime of the form 1 mod 4 is the sum of two squares - the original going Dutch?

In 1630 Richard Delamain (1600-44) of England invents the Circular Slide Rule.

In 1630 English physician-astrologer Robert Fludd (1574-1637) pub. the first Color Wheel, taking Aristotle's color line and turning it on itself to create seven areas.

On May 17, 1630 Jesuit astronomer Niccolo Zucchi (-1670) discovers the spots on Jupiter's surface - I have this uncle with a great big face and a big red mustache?

In 1631 French physician-chemist Jean Rey (1583-1645) uses a water-filled glass bulb thermometer to follow the progress of fevers in patients; he goes on to discover that lead and tin become heavier after calcination, attributing it to the weight of air, making possible the invention of the barometer.

In 1631 French-born Spanish capt. Pierre Vernier (1580-1637) invents the Vernier Scale for artillery, greatly increasing accuracy.

Speaking of mean Roman Catholics? In Feb. 1632 Pisa-born Italian super-brain scientist ("Father of Science") Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) pub. his "fictional" masterpiece Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems (Dialogho Sopra i Due Massimi Sistemi del Mondo), which becomes an immediate bestseller in Italy; in Sept. Pope Urban VIII finally gets a copy, shits bricks and orders its distribution stopped, and in Oct. Galileo receives a summons to appear before the friendly Roman Inquisition for reneging on his 1616 promise and only playing games with them, pretending to treat Copernicanism as a theory but anything but; the Medici family waffles but finally drops protection for him, and he has to go to Rome, where the outcome is unstoppable. Speaking of mean Catholics? On Feb. 13, 1633 Galileo arrives in Rome, is interrogated (tortured) by the Big I in Apr., pleads guilty to a lesser charge in exchange for a more lenient sentence (please, I don't want to squat to pee?), is found guilty (3 of 10 Cardinal judges withholding their signatures), and on June 22 in the Dominican Convent of Santa Maria Sopra Minerve he is forced to abjure his belief in the *!?! Copernican hypotheses; after prostrating himself in the white nightshirt of a penitent and kissing their holy feet for saving his soul he is sentenced to an indefinite prison term; in Dec. he is allowed to return to Florence under permanent house arrest at his villa in Arcetri, becoming the end of any remaining claim the Church could make to having any direct pipeline to God; the chilling effect is instant, with French brain man Rene Descartes withholding pub. of Le Monde (The World) (Treatise on the Light) next Apr. because it agrees with the Copernican theory, "and I confess that if it is false, then so are the whole foundations of my philosophy, because it is demonstrated from them beyond doubt" (he turns into the "philosophe au masque"); as late as 1739-42 an ed. of Newton's Principia is pub. with a cover letter by Minim Fathers Le Seur and Jacquier pointing out to good Roman Catholics that the Newtonian system of the world is also "hypothetical". In Jan. 1638 Galileo, now totally blind from retina damage caused by peering at the Sun petitions the Holy Inquisition to be freed, but is denied; he smuggles his Dialogue Concerning Two New Sciences (Statics and Dynamics) to a publisher in Holland (the first popular science bestseller in history); John Milton makes a pilgrimage to Rome to "commune with enlightened men", and visits Galileo - enlightened, get it? In 1641 Galileo proposes the pendulum clock.

On Nov. 8, 1637 after being inspired by sketches by Leonardo da Vinci, Greek man Arsenios Tselepis from Constantinople becomes the first man to fly using wings, taking off from the Galata Tower and landing in Dogancilar Square 2 mi. away; the Turks try a coverup, claiming he's a Muslim with the name Hezarfen ("expert in a thousand sciences") Ahmed Celebi.

In 1637 French atty. and math dabbler ("Father of Number Theory") Pierre de Fermat (1607-65) conjectures Fermat's Last Theorem (that the Pythagorean Theorem for n greater than 2 is not solvable in integers) in the margin of his copy of Diophantus' Arithmetica, with the famous soundbyte that he "discovered a truly remarkable proof which this margin is too small to contain", launching a massive search for the proof after the Royal Academy of Sciences at Gottingen offers a 100K mark prize to prove it true or false, without takers; Fermat proves it for n=4, Leonhard Euler proves it for n=3, Peter Gustav Lejeune Dirichlet proves it for n=5 and n=14; in 1954 an electronic calculating machine proves it true for n less than 2000; it is finally solved in 1994 by English mathematician Sir Andrew John Wiles (1953-) after seven years locked up by himself, who also proves that all rational semistable elliptic curves are modular.

In 1638 English astronomer-mathematician William Gascoigne (1612-44) invents the Micrometer.

On Jan. 8, 1642 the #1 scientist of his time, Galileo Galilei (b. 1564) dies, blind and under house arrest by the Infallible Holy Church; what a coincidence that Isaac Newton (d. 1727), the Summa (greatest) scientist of his or any age, and the discoverer of the secret of light is born in England on Dec. 25 Old Style (Jan. 4, 1643 New Style) - the big keelboat is rammed by more and more great logs?

In 1642 French superbrain Blaise Pascal (1623-62) begins designing a calculating machine called the Pascaline, which performs addition and subtraction and can do multiplication and division via repeated you know what, becoming the first adding machine used in a business setting since the abacus; after finishing the design in 1644, Pascal goes on to sell 50 units in 10 years - if only he'd also invented electronics, he coulda been a contender?

In 1643 Rome-born Italian physicist-mathematician Evangelista Torricelli (1608-47) (Galileo's mathematics student, who succeeded to his chair in mathematics at the U. of Pisa) accidentally invents the Mercury Barometer (Torricelli Tube) (along with Vincenzo Viviani); a torr is later defined as the number of millimeters of mercury in a Torricelli Tube; on June 11, 1644 Torricelli writes the soundbyte in a letter to Michelangelo Ricci: "We live submerged at the bottom of an ocean of air" (Noi viviamo sommersi nel fondo d'un pelago d'aria).

In 1646 Italian surgeon-anatomist Marco Aurelio Severino (1580-1656) pub. De Efficaci Medicina (3 vols.), becoming the first to describe refrigeration anaesthesia using snow-ice mixtures.

In 1647 French astronomer Adrien Auzout (1622-91) proves that air has barometric pressure.

In 1648 Blaise Pascal proposes the concept of air pressure in barometers, having his brother-in-law carry one up a mountain and record its readings to show that higher altitudes have lower air pressure.

On Oct. 24, 1648 (Sat.) the Thirty Years' War (begun 1618) between the Holy Roman (Catholic) Imperial Crown and the Protestant Princes of Europe ends with the compromise Peace of Westphalia (AKA Two Treaties of Munster and Osnabruck), redrawing the map of Europe by allowing the princes to decide their country's religion, which gives scientists in Protestant nations the protection they need to sprint out ahead of the Catholics.

In 1650 German physicist Otto von Guericke (1602-86) of Magdeburg invents the vacuum air pump (now he's got both friction and suction?); in 1655 he uses it to remove the air from two metal Magdenburg hemispheres and challenges horsemen to pull them apart; it ends up being used on farms.

In 1652 the Academia Leopoldina (originally Academia Naturae Curiosorum) is founded in the free imperial city of Schweinfurt, Germany, with physician Johann Lorenz Bausch (1605-65) as pres. #1, becoming the oldest scientific academy to survive to modern times; it moves to Halle in 1878.

In 1654 French mathematicians Blaise Pascal (1623-62) and Pierre de Fermat (1601-65) pub. the basic laws of Probability Theory; Pascal invents the roulette wheel as a by-product of experiments with perpetual motion.

In 1655 Dutch scientist Christiaan Huygens (1629-95) discovers the rings of Saturn, also on Mar. 25 Saturn's biggest moon Titan (2nd largest moon in the Solar System, and only moon with an atmosphere); at last the age-old belief that the heavens are of a different stuff than the Earth is shattered when the former "god" Saturn turns out to have a physical structure, and therefore is not heavenly, pushing the abode of God and the angels back, back, back; he also discovers the mv^2/r formula for planetary orbits, which really makes their physical ordinariness apparent, since the m in the formula applies to heavenly angel hair as well as crap? - what a revelation just as the big 666 year is coming up? In 1656 he builds the first Pendulum Clock in London based on a design by Galileo; after adding the first-ever anchor escapement to reduce the pendulum swing, it only loses 1 sec. every 3 hours, vastly improving on the old verge-and-folio escapement. In 1660 he and the Abbe d'Hautefeuille independently invent the spiral hairspring for clocks and watches, improving accuracy. In 1661 he invents the manometer for measuring the elastic force of gases. In 1665 he first observes automatic synchronization of two clocks suspended on the same beam, along with indirect coupling, which makes two pendulum clocks mounted together swing in opposite directions.

In 1661 English scientist (rival of Isaac Newton) Robert Boyle (1627-91) (after discovering that sound doesn't travel in a vaccum in 1658) pub. New Experiments Physicomechanical, Touching the Spring of the Air (2nd ed.), incl. Proemial Essay, expounding Boil's, er, Boyle's Law (pressure-volume dependence) - all great scientific laws are named after people with just the right names? Also in 1661 he uses his pneumatic pump to prove that animals die from lack of air not the accumulation of noxious vapors, stimulating others to begin respiration studies; he also discovers methyl (wood) alcohol - by drinking it? Also in 1661 he pub. The Sceptical Chymist, breaking Chemistry away from Alchemy, dissing the Aristotelian theory of the elements and the Paracelsian theory of principles, and listing chemical elements; "I look upon amity and enmity as affections of intelligent beings, and I have not yet found it explained by any, how those appetities can be placed in bodies inanimate and devoid of knowledge or of so much as sense." In 1666 he pub. Origin of Forms and Qualities According to the Corpuscular Philosophy, explaining his view that everything is mad of atoms, and that Nature is mechanical in er, nature. In 1667 he proves that fresh air is necessary for respiration, and that an animal can be kept alive by artificial respiration using a bellows in a dog's trachea; his partner Robert Hooke shows that blood alteration in the lungs is the essential feature of respiration. In 1679 French physicist-priest Edme (Edmé) Mariotte (1620-84) announces his rediscovery of Boyle's Law - but Edme's Law or Mariotte's Law has no pizzazz?

In 1662 the Royal Society of London receives a royal charter from Charles II, becoming England's major center of scientific activity until the 19th cent.; women are excluded; it begins separating science from theology, leading to modern godless Big Science?

In 1662 English economist Sir William Petty (1623-87) pub. A Treatise of Taxes and Contributions, inventing statistical mathematics.

In 1663 Scottish mathematician James Gregory (1638-75) pub. his invention of the compact reflecting Gregorian Telescope, which becomes the std. telescope design for the next 150 years; he also describes a method to measure the Astronomical Unit (Earth-Sun distance) by using the transit of Venus. In 1667 he pub. Vera Circuli et Hyperbolae Quadratura, which shows that the areas of the circle and hyperbola can be obtained from an infinite convergent series, and speculates on the impossibility of the quadrature of the circle and the existence of transcendental numbers; he also pub. infinite series expansions of trig functions; reprinted in 1668 with the appendix Geometriae Pars, with methods on calculating the volumes of solids of revolution.

In 1665 English scientist Robert Hooke (1635-1703) pub. Micrographia, popularizing microscopy; "The most ingenious book that I ever read in my life" (Samuel Pepys); uses the microscope to identify cells, coining the term "cell" for the rigid thingies in cork, which remind him of monks' cells; his 12 in. x 18 in. Drawing of a Flea grosses out sensitive ladies and makes them faint?; he is the first person to examine fossils under a microscope, and concludes they are the remains or traces of long-dead organisms; the microscope is now de rigueur, causing Antony van Leeuwenhoek, Marcello Malpighi, Nehemiah Grew, Jan Swammerdam et al. to bend over and squint - giving future air duct salesmen a job? In 1667 he invents the Anemometer for measuring wind speed, which is also invented the same year by Christian Forner (Förner) of Weissenfels, Germany. On Feb. 5, 1675 Sir Isaac Newton writes a Letter to Robert Hooke, with the soundbyte "If I have seen further it is by standing on ye sholders of Giants"; later when their rivalry goes bitter, Newton starts dropping bigger and bigger slams on Hooke, and ultimately tries to erase his memory? In 1678 he pub. Hooke's Law of Elastic Force ("ut tensio, sic vis", "stress is proportional to strain") - especially on springs with hookes?

In 1665 Italian astronomer Giovanni (Gian Domenico) Cassini (1625-1712) discovers Jupiter's Great Red Spot, and determines the rotations of Jupiter, Mars, and Venus. In 1666 he determines the rotation period of Mars to be 24 hours 40 min. (actual value 24 hours 37 min. 22.6 sec.), and discovers the Martian polar ice caps - another ancient god proves to be just orbiting dirt? In 1671 he becomes dir. of the Paris Observatory, and discovers Saturn's satellite Iapetus, followed by Rhea next year, and Tethys and Dione in 1684; he also calculates the distance from Earth to Mars, allowing him to calculate the distance to all the planets. In 1672 he becomes the first to accurately calculate the distance between the Earth and Sun. In 1675 he discovers the big gap between Saturn's A and B rings, AKA the Cassini Division; the narrow gap inside the A ring is later called the Encke Division. In 1679 he pub. the first Scientific Map of the Moon.

The year 1666 contains all the Roman numerals MDCLXVI) once; also 1444, 1446, 1464, 1466, 1644, 1646, 1664. In 1666 the Millennium Fever (MF) over the Big Year 1666 stirs mass paranoia in Christendom, the smart money being that all those evil scientists and secular pagans (and the antichrist pope and his papist followers, according to Protestants) are going to be consumed in fire just as the unbelievers were consumed in water in the days of Noah; later, when the disappointment sets in, hope springs eternal in the human breast, so anybody born in this year is suspected of being the Devil or the Antichrist, and Armageddon is at least going to happen in his lifetime, so don't give up the faith?; meanwhile never fear, the Scientists are here, as the Annus Mirabilis of English Cambridge U. man Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727) begins when the plague causes him to be sent home from Cambridge to his home in Woolsthrope, where the world's most famous apple falls from the tree, revolutionizing Science with the stunning realization that the heavens and the Earth are subject to the same universal laws - one little orb falls from the sky, causing their minds to fall from the divine Heavens into the material world of Earth, and like it? I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams? Don't let a migraine upset you? As a total rebuff to the Millennium Feverists who say the world is not worth studying (since this is its last year), Isaac Newton goes into a glorious brilliant Rain Man funk in Woolsthorpe and discovers the Integral Calculus (not dental rot but the branch of mathematics) and the Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation (inverse square law), measures the Moon's orbit, and, when not otherwise occupied, buys a glass prism "to try therewith the phenomena of the colours", becoming the first to deduce that the prism splits white light into a spectrum as a result of the different refractive index for each color; sitting under a you know what kind of tree, he observes a you know what falling, and calculates that at a distance of 1 ft. the attraction between two objects is 100 times stronger than at 10 ft., making the super mental leap that the force exerted by the Earth on the apple is the same as that exerted by the Earth on the Moon; "And the same year [1666] I began to think of gravity extending to the orb of the Moon, and having found out how to estimate the force with which a globe revolving within a sphere presses the surface of the sphere, from Kepler's Rule... I deduced that the forces which keep the Planets in their Orbs must [be] reciprocally as the squares of their distances from the centers about which they revolve: and thereby compared the force requisite to keep the Moon in her Orb with the force of gravity at the surface of the earth, and found them answer pretty nearly. All this was in the two plague years of 1665 and 1666, for in those days I was in the prime of my age for invention, and minded Mathematicks and Philosophy more than at any time since" - Isaac Newton, memo in the Portsmouth Collection, 1714; the Newton pippin is later named to commemorate the Big Apple of 1666 - the first modern scientist walks the Earth, and he's white, Anglo-Saxon, and Protestant, but actually not so modern, as he's still got one foot in the past and believes in alchemy and bizarre Bible theories, taking a few years out of his all-important studies to figure out math and physics, in the belief that the Universe is a giant code and he can crack it; his success paradoxically strengthens belief in astrology? Newton's funeral was presided over by "A. (Alexander) Pope".

On Dec. 19, 1666 French royal physician Jean-Baptiste Denis (Denys) (1640-1704) performs the first known human blood transfusion on Antoine Mauroy, a known wife beater who was found wandering zonked and naked through the streets of Paris, twice transfusing about 10. oz of blood from a "gentle" calf and apparently curing him with a kind of emotional transplant, although he is really suffering from syphilis? Science counts sheep in its sleep? On June 15, 1667 Jean-Baptiste Denis performs his second human blood transfusion in England from a lamb to teenaged, daft, improverished clergyman's helper Arthur Coga, who is paid 20 shillings to receive up to 12 oz. (350 ml) of blood in the hope that the life force of the docile creature will tame his madness; the following week Coga addresses the Royal Society in Latin, and Pepys reports "He is a little cracked in his head, though he speaks very reasonably"; he disappears before they can give him any more treatments. In Jan. 1668 he performs his third human blood transfusion on a wife beater in France using a sheep, and when he dies the doctor is tried for murder and acquitted, causing blood transfusions to be banned in France, although the technique is adopted in the Netherlands, Germany, and Italy - enough to make me a Jehovah's Witness?

In 1666 19-y.-o. German polymath superbrain Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz (1646-1716) (pr. LIPE-nits), Germany's answer to England's Isaac Newton pub. Disserto de Arte Combinatoria (Discussion of the Combinatorial Art), which formulates the idea that all reasoning and discovery are reducible to an ordered combination of elements, incl. words, numbers, colors, and sounds; contains his suggestion, based on the work of Raymond Lully, that a mathematical language of reasoning should be developed, which is taken up by George Boole et al. In 1672-94 he constructs the Stepped Reckoner, the first calculating machine capable of multiplication and division; the cylindrical crank-operated calculating machine was inspired by a pedometer he saw while on a diplomatic mission to Paris, and he visits London to seek financial backing from the Royal Society, claiming it can calculate trig tables. In 1672 he first describes the mysterious invisible Ether (Aether), so dear to Newtonists; meanwhile in 1672 Isaac Newton announces his discovery of the decomposition of white light into the rainbow, breaking it into spectral colors each with a different index of refraction. In 1679 Leibniz discovers the Binary Number System; he doesn't pub. his findings until 1701.

In 1666 Cheddar Cheese is first made in Cheddar, Somersetshire, England, at the entrance of the rocky 1-mi. Cheddar Gorge on the S side of the Mendip Hills (22 mi. SW of Bristol).

In 1666 Robert Hooke designs a new type of escapement for clocks, with the moving part in the same plane as the balance wheel on which it acts to increase accuracy.

In 1666 Charles II's master of mechanics Samuel Morland (1625-95) invents the first multiplying machine, with a duodecimal (base 20) scale based on English currency, requiring human intervention to enter the carry displayed in an auxiliary dial.

In 1666 Jean de Thevenot (1633-67) invents the carpenter's level, consisting of a bubble floating in a thin liquid-filled glass tube.

In 1666 Italian physician Marcello Malpighi (1628-94) pub. the discovery that bile is secreted by the liver.

In 1666 London physician Thomas Sydenham (1624-89) pub. Methodus Curandi Febres (Ways to Cure Fevers), which advocates the use of opium to relieve pain, cinchona bark (quinine) to relieve malaria, and iron to relieve anemia.

In 1667 German physician Johann Joachim Becher (1635-82) pub. a forerunner of the Phlogiston Theory, claiming that all bodies are composed of air, water, and three earths, terra lapida (stony), terra mercurialis (mercurial), and terra pinguis (fatty), and that in combustion the fatty earth is released, which later causes Joseph Priestley of England to call oxygen "dephlogisticated air" - close but no fat cigar?

In 1667 after using her clout with her hubby William Cavendish, "Mad Madge" Mary Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle-upon-Tyne (1623-73) becomes the first woman admitted to the British Royal Society (next in 1945). In 1666 she pub. Observations upon Experimental Philosophy, which rejects Aristotelianism and mechanical philosophy in favor of Stoicism; being a woman, her work is pooh-poohed.

In 1667 Cornish physician Richard Lower (1631-91) transfuses blood from one dog to another in Oxford, and observes that blood changes color when in contact with air - air lowers blood pressure?

In 1667 Abbe Jean Picard (1620-82) of France invents a micrometer for use with a telescope, and uses it to discover anomalies in the positions of stars, which are not explained until 1728.

In 1667 Scottish physician Sir Robert Sibbald (1641-1722) and Sir Andrew Balfour found the first botanical garden in Edinburgh, Scotland.

In 1667 Danish scientist Steeno (Niels Steensen) (1638-87) of Copenhagen, who discovered the parotid salivary duct while studying anatomy in Amsterdam, then became court physician to grand duke Ferdinand II of Florence in 1665 publicly dissects a shark's head and proves that its mouth is full of teeth, not serpent tongues, then reveals that stones found in Malta are fossils of ancient shark teeth, founding the modern study of geology; he then advances the theory that land formations such as seabeds evolve via natural processes - living in the moment, priceless?

In 1667 Dutch painter Jan van der Heyden (1637-1712) devises a comprehensive street lighting scheme for Amsterdam, which is used until 1840, and adopted by many other towns.

In 1668 Isaac Newton invents the Newtonian Reflecting Telescope, which is a great improvement, reducing distortion.

In 1669 Danish scientist Rasmus (Erasmus) Bartholin (1625-98) pub. the first observations of double refraction of light in Iceland spar crystals.

In 1669 alchemist Hennig Brand (Brandt) (1630-1710) of Hamburg, Germany discovers Phosphorus (P) (#15) in distilled human urine, becoming the first new element discovered since ancient times, launching the chain of events leading to the Periodic Table - he wasn't kidding about his burning urination?

In 1669 English naturalist ("Father of English Natural History") John Ray (1627-1705) pub. results of experiments on trees, showing that sap ascends through the wood. In 1680 he begins work on the taxonomy of plants, defining the concept of species (Lat. "seeing", "appearance").

In 1670 Italian scientist Giovanni Alfonso Borelli (1608-79), known for his experiments in biomechanics describes a mechanical bird with artificial wings, attempting to explain flight by means of an inclined plane. In 1680 he pub. De Motu Animalium (On the Motion of Animals), financed by Queen Christina of Sweden (who gives him protection from Galileo's fate), which links Galilean mechanics to Cartesian mechanistic biology, founding the science of Biomechanics; recognizes that forward motion requires forward movement of the body's center of gravity, followed by swinging of the limbs to maintain balance; likens the action of the heart to a piston, requiring the arteries to be elastic - the heart is like the Sun, and the weenie is like the Moon?

In 1671 Isaac Newton writes Methodus Fluxionum et Serierum Infinitarum (The Method of Fluxions and Infinite Series), describing the notion of fluxions (time derivatives) and fluents (inverse of fluxions, i.e., integrals); his hesitancy to pub. his secret veapon Calculus until 1736 allows Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz to claim prior discovery and get into a cross-Channel pissing contest; actually Leibniz rediscovers the Calculus in 1675, but his prettier notation becomes std.

In 1672 French Catholic priest Laurent Cassegrain (1629-93) of France invents the Cassegrain Reflecting Telescope, using both a parabolic and hyperboloid mirror to cancel spherical aberration, besting Newton's 1668 design; Christiaan Huygens learns about it and disses it to build Newton up, causing Cassegrain's name to be forgotten until modern times, when his design becomes the preferred one.

In 1672 English physician-anatomist Francis Glisson (1597-1677) first describes the "irritability" of living tissues (tendency to react to their environment); he disproves the balloon theory of muscles by showing that when a muscle contracts under water the water level stays the same, therefore no air or fluid could be entering or leaving it.

In 1672 French mathematician Jean Richer (1630-96) reaches Cayenne, finding that a pendulum of the same length has a longer period on the equator than in France, becoming the first to notice the bulge at the equator and the flattening at the poles - everybody else is heeding Nature's call? In 1673 he ends his scientific expedition to Cayenne, and finds that gravy, er, gravity is less richer, er, intense near the equator than in higher latitudes.

In 1672 Flemish physician Franciscus Sylvius (Franz de le Boe) (1614-72) pub. Praxeos Medica Idea Nova (New Idea in Medicine), which ditches the imbalance of the four humors for an imbalance of acids and bases.

In 1672 Dutch painter Jan van der Heyden (1637-1712) and his son make the first Flexible Fire-Fighting Hoses.

In 1672 Flemish Roman Catholic Jesuit priest Father Ferdinand Verbiest (1623-88) AKA Nan Huairen builds (just designs?) a steam-powered vehicle for the Chinese Qing Kangxi emperor, becoming the world's first automobile?; too bad, it's too small to carry a driver or passengers?

In 1674 English physician-chemist-physiologist John Mayow (1640-79) pub. Tractatus Quinque Medico-physici, researches on respiration and rickets, some originally pub. at Oxford in 1668; calls the portion of air that supports combustion "spiritus igneo-aerus" and "nitro-areus", from the acid portion of potassium nitrate KNO3, giving the first correct anatomical description of the mechanism of respiration, recognizing the existence of oxygen, founding the field of Pneumatic Chemistry.

In 1674 George Ravenscroft (1632-83) of England patents English lead (flint) glass, a heavy, water-clear crystal doped with lead oxide; lead is already being used in Italian paste jewelry?

On Aug. 10, 1675 the Royal Greenwich Observatory in Greenwich, London overlooking the River Thames, designed by Sir Christopher Wren is begun by order of Charles II in order to make a new improved catalog of stars for ship navigation; Charles II selects clockmaker ("Father of English Clockmaking") Thomas Tompion (1639-1713) to build two identical clocks with long pendulums and small arc swing as suggested by Robert Hooke, driven by a deadbeat escapement invented by Richard Towneley (1629-1707), that only need to be wound once a year, proving so accurate that they become instrumental in correcting astronomical calculations; John Flamsteed (1646-1719) is appointed the first astronomer royal of England, but he is so slow at calculation that at in 1704 the catalog is still incomplete but is pub. against his wishes, and he publicly burns 300 of the 400 copies in protest; meanwhile Sir Isaac Newton uses his catalog to verify his theory of gravitation. 19-y.-o. Edmund Halley (b. 1656) devises a new method for determining planetary orbits; Tompion and Hooke go on to make some of the first watches with balance springs.

In 1677 Danish anatomist Caspar Bartholin the Younger (1655-1738) first describes Bartholin's Glands of the vagina - had a nose for his work, make that a taste for his work?

In 1677 Dutch linen draper and late-blooming long-living scientist (zoologist) Anton (Antony) (Antonie) (Thonius) Philips van Leeuwenhoek (1632-1723) [pr. lay-van-HOOK] first sees red blood cells and spermatozoa through a microscope, leading to a cent.-long animalculist-ovist debate about whether the male or the female contributes more or all to the embryo. In 1683 he invents a stronger (200x) microscope and discovers bacteria in the plaque of his own teeth, along with spermatozoa (not necessarily from the same place?) - I'm DJ Anton van Leeuwenhoek, and I'll allow you a look with my hooky hook hook? In 1684 he makes the first microscopic observation of the retina, and discovers the rods and cones.

In 1678 English physician William Briggs (1650-1704) describes the anatomy of the eye, incl. the papillae of the optic disc, fibers in the retina et al.

In 1678 Italian mathematician Giovanni Ceva (1647-1734) pub. the elegant Ceva's Theorem on the division of sides of a triangle.

In 1678 Dutch London pendulum man Christiaan Huygens (1629-95) formulates the Wave Theory of Light, and discovers light polarization.

In 1678-91 Hortus Malabaricus (Lat. "Garden of Malabar") (12 vols.) is pub. in Amsterdam, along with a trans. by K.S. Manilal in Kerala; compiled by 25 people working for Dutch East India gov. of Dutch Malabar (1669-76) Hendrik Adriaan van Rheede tot Drakenstein (1636-91), and edited by 100+ experts, containing descriptions and drawings of 740 medicinal plants there, incl. cannabis and the joys of smoking it.

In 1679 Denis Papin (1647-1712) of France discovers that the boiling point of water depends on atmospheric pressure, and invents the Pressure Cooker, which he calls the Bone Digester, complete with the first automatic safety valve, and demonstrates it for the Royal Society in England, architect Sir Christopher Wren finding the meal so delicious that he requests instructions on how to use it.

In 1682 English botanist Nehemiah Grew (1641-1712) pub. Anatomy of Plants (4 vols.), containing the first microscopic description of pollen, founding plant anatomy. In 1695 he isolates magnesium sulfate (Epsom salts) from water taken from North Downs springs in you know where.

In 1682 English astronomer Edmund Halley (1656-1742) discovers the 75.5-year period of Halley's Comet from observed data and his own calculated parabolic orbits, deducing that the comets of 1531, 1607, and 1682 are one and the same, and move in an elliptical orbit because they all have a Nodus Ascendus of about 20 deg. in Taurus. On Dec. 25, 1758 Halley's Comet is located on Halley's predicted return date, making him a superstar; its closest approach is next Mar., as predicted by Alexis Clairaut - proof that 1759 is Britain's year?

In 1683 Isaac Newton discovers the effect of gravity on tides, and comes up with a mathematical theory - no matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops end up on your pants?

Which brings us the watershed year 1683. After a thousand years of Islamic terrorist attacks on innocent Christian Europe since Maddass' Death in 632, giving the West time to pass them up permanently in military technology, on Sept. 11-12, 1683 the Battle of Vienna (Kahlenberg) was a giant V for a combined army of 84K Roman Catholic and Protestant troops, led by Roman Catholic Polish King Jan (John) III Sobieski (1629-96) and his 3K mounted Winged Hussars, along with Roman Catholic Austrian Hapsburg Duke Charles V of Lorraine (1643-90), who kicked the butts of 150K-250K Muslim losers under sultan (1648-87) Mehmed IV (1642-93), leaving 10K Muslims dead and 5K wounded, and 5K taken POW, while losing only 2K Christians dead and 2.5K wounded. In the interest of forgetting their religious differences while throwing out the Saracens, the Catholic battle cry of "Maria help" was modified to a combo Catholic-Protestant battle cry of "Jesus and Maria help", there wasn't a dry eye in the house, despite Catholic Hapsburg-hating French king (1643-1715) Louis XIV (1638-1715) refusing to send help, and Protestant Hapsburg-hating Hungarian Count Imre Thokoly (1657-1705) aiding the Turks in hopes of becoming their vassal prince of Transylvania. After Buda was retaken in 1686 and the pesky Jews (who sided with the Turks) kicked out, the Ottomans were then thrown out of Hungary hopefully for good on Aug. 12, 1687 in the Second Battle of Mohacs with 60K Christian soldiers kicking the butts of 60K Muslim soldiers and losing only 600 vs. 10K Turks, after which the pesky Muslims never again attempted to subjugate Europe militarily, although they left all the other options on the table incl. mass migration to just take it over without firing a shot, giving illegal immigrants a bad name, just give me a generation of Islam history ignoramuses and PC professors. Meanwhile they did give the West one good thing, coffee, drink up, professor.

1683 represents the year when the Muslim World's military threat to the West ended, and the West began to leave it and its population and its stinking Allah along with the Medieval Ages in the rearview mirror as the ass-crack-sniffing Islamic world failed to keep pace with the West, not only in science and technology, but in all key aspects, incl. the construction of public clocks, implementation of standardized linear measurements, and modernization in general, compounded by pervasive autocracy. The 1648 Peace of Westphalia left fledgling Western Science pretty much free to romp unmolested by any organized religion, helped by an internat. science community that encouraged nation-hopping, and combined with the Age of Reason launched by Rene Descartes in the early 1600s, followed by the Age of Enlightenment, it immediately began producing a long ever-growing line of super scientists building on the work of Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) of Italy (read the catalog), Nicolaus Copernicus (1473-1543) of Poland (heliocentric theory), William Gilbert (1544-1603) of England (electricity and magnetism), Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) of Italy (theory of momentum), and Johannes Kepler (1571-1630) of Germany (laws of the Solar System), incl. Rene Descartes (1596-1650) of France (analytical geometry and rationalism in philosophy), Sir Isaac Newton (1643-1727) of England (law of gravitation, optics, calculus), Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz (1646-1716) of Germany (modern notation for calculus et al.), Carl Linnaeus (1707-78) of Sweden (biological classification and nomenclature), Antoine Lavoisier (1743-94) of France (law of mass conservation, metric system), Jons Jakob Berzelius (1779-1848) of Sweden (chemical formula notation), Michael Faraday (1791-1867) of England (electromagnetic induction, electrolysis), Gregor Johann Mendel (1822-84) of Austria (genetics), Louis Pasteur (1822-95) of France (germ theory of disease), James Clerk Maxwell (1831-79) of Scotland (electromagnetic field theory), Dmitri Mendeleyev (1834-1907) of Russia (Periodic Table of the Elements), Albert Einstein (1879-1955) of Austria and the U.S. (photoelectric effect, mass-energy equivalence, relativity theory), and Niels Bohr (1885-1962) of Denmark (quantum theory), the honor list grows exponentially, no Muslims but scads of Christians and Jews on it, gee, Allah, what happened, they were all infidels and should have been beheaded by your faithful Muslim fucktards so we could continue to grovel in the Muslim Golden Age of cubic equations and the search for the process for transmuting lead to gold, if I get a broken back will I still be able to walk? And then there's the applied scientists and inventors, who contributed to the Industrial Revolution in the late 18th and 19th centuries, incl. Johannes Gutenberg (1398-1468) of Germany (printing press), Galileo Galilei of Italy (already mentioned) (telescope), Anton van Leeuwenhoek (1632-1723) of the Netherlands (microscope), Benjamin Franklin (1706-90) of the U.S. (electricity), Alessandro Volta (1745-1827) of Italy (electric battery), Robert Fulton (1765-1815) of the U.S. (steamboat), Louis Daguerre (1787-1851) of France (photography), Charles Babbage (1791-1871) of England (computer), Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922) of Scotland (telephone), Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) of the U.S. (light bulb, phonograph, moving pictures), Rudolf Diesel (1858-1913) of Germany (diesel engine), Marie Curie (1867-1934) of France and Poland (radioactivity) (what happened Allah, I thought you made all of the menstruating women of the world stupid?), Guglielmo Marconi (1874-1937) of Italy (radio), the Wright Brothers of the U.S. (airplane), Robert Hutchings Goddard (1882-1945) of the U.S. (rockets), Philo Taylor Farnsworth (1906-71) of the U.S. (TV). Where are the Muslim inventors? Oh yes, the auto clit slicing machine, the Wifi chastity belt, the IED, the butt bomb and shoe bomb, the Black Hole of Calcutta, all invented by Mohamed something. And I don't have enough megabytes available to cover Western art, literature, music, etc., while on the Muslim side there's about enough to fill a donkey cart, and anything good in it is probably by secular or skeptical or ex-Muslims.

In 1683-4 the Great Frost of 1683-4 strikes Europe and the British Isles; a Frost Fair is held on the 11-in. thick frozen Thames between Southwark and the Temple until the ice melts on Feb. 6, 1684; the Thames freezes at least 8x in 600 years of the existence of the London Bridge because its 19 arches impede the river's flow - all them scientific brains and no mention of Global Cooling?

In May (Aug.?) 1684 celeb Edmund Halley visits Sir Isaac Newton in Cambridge to ask what orbit a body would describe under an inverse-square law of attraction, and Newton replies an ellipse, and that he had proved it years earlier but lost the papers and would rework it and send it to him, which he does in Nov., pub. De Motu Corporum in Gyrum (On the Motion of Revolving Bodies) in Dec., then expanding the work, until in 1687 he pub. his monumental "Principia" at Halley's expense; meanwhile Leibniz pub. his system of the integral and differential calculus independently of Newton, allegedly based on his own work from 1673-6, starting a doowahdiddydiddy credit-seeking race; Newton wins the decision for priority with the great tale of the apple in the plague year of 1666 and his killer theory of gravity, but Leibniz' cooler notation gets adopted by textbook writers.

On July 5, 1687 English #1 superbrain Sir Isaac Newton (1643-1727) pub. Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica (pr. prin-KIP-ee-ya), founding celestial and terrestrial mechanics with his Three Universal Laws of Motion, proving the inverse square law of gravitation and many other basic results after a bitter feud with Robert Hooke (1635-1703) over priority; the rough ms. is finished on June 20, 1686, but he adds a section on comets with the help of John Flamsteed; the preface acknowledges Edmund Halley, saying "it was through his solicitations that it came to be published"; "But hitherto I have not been able to discover the cause of those properties of gravity from phenomena, and I frame no hypothesis; for whatever is not deduced from the phenomena is to be called an hypothesis; and hypotheses, whether metaphysical or physical, whether of occult qualities or mechanical, have not place in experimental philosophy. In this philosophy particular propositions are inferred from the phenomena, and afterwards rendered general by induction. Thus it was that the impenetrability, the mobility, and the impulsive force of bodies, and the laws of motion and of gravitation, were discovered. And to us it is enough that gravity does really exist, and act according to the laws which we have explained, and abundantly serves to account for all the motions of the celestial bodies and of our sea."

In 1688 Italian physician Francesco Redi (1626-97) attempts to prove that ain't fresco ready to eat rotting meat cannot spontaneously turn into maggots, starting a Debate on Spontaneous Generation that goes on for two cents.

In 1688 polished Plate glass is developed by Louis Lucas de Nehou and A. Thevart of France, rolling molten glass poured on an iron table, making large plates possible; about 1800 a steam engine is used for grinding and polishing.

In 1690 Swiss scientist Nicolas Fatio (Facio) (Faccio) de Duillier (1664-1753) presents the unpub. treatise "On the Cause of Gravity" to the Royal Society in London, which proposes the Push/Shadow Theory of Gravitation, that gravity is a pushing force created when two objects shadow each other and block the flow of ether particles, creating an effective vacuum, with the soundbyte that despite its apparent heaviness, it is possible that gold ctains a trillion times more void than substance; in 1748 Swiss (Genevan) physicist Georges-Louis LeSage (1724-1803) revives and popularizes the idea, which is supplanted by Newton's attractive theory of gravitation despite similar results.

In 1691 Dutch botanist-anatomist Frederik Ruysch (1638-1731) first describes Hirschsprung's Disease, a congenital disorder of the colon where ganglion cells are absent in the myenteric plexus that moves food in the intestine; too bad, in 1888 Danish physician Harald Hirschsprung (1830-1916) (first Danish pediatrician) first describes two infants who died of it, causing it to be named after him. In 1700 Ruysch describes the ocular circulatory system, proving the existence of the arteria centralis oculi (central artery of the eye); he goes on to prove the existence of valves in the lymphatic system, along with the vomeronasal organ in snakes, and invents the art of injection and embalming techniques, becoming the first to embalm by injecting a chemical solution into the blood vessels made of clotted pig's blood, Berlin blue, and mercury oxide, creating dioramas incorporating human parts, esp. infant and fetal bodies, leaving 2K+ preserved specimens in his private museum, also preserved butterflies and lizards, selling a load of it in 1717 to Peter the Great.

In 1692 English scientist Edmund Halley (1656-1742) discovers the westward-drifing motion of Earth's geomagnetic field.

In 1692 Dutch anatomist Philip Verheyden dissects his own amputated leg, becoming the first to name the Achilles heel.

The original Supersize Me? On Aug. 4, 1693 blind French Benedictine monk Dom Pierre Perignon (1638-1715) invents Champagne, which is later sold in supersized bottles called Magnum (2x), Jeroboam (4x), Rehoboam (6x), Methuselah (8x), Salmanazar (12x), Balthazar (16x), and Nebuchadnezzar (20x) (My Judy Really Makes Splendid Belching Noises); actually, he didn't invent sparkling wine, just taught blending skills and figured out how to bottle the stuff in reinforced glass bottles sealed with Spanish corks?

In 1694 German botanist Rudolph Jacob Camerarius (1665-1721) discovers the function of plant pollen.

In 1695 French physicist Guillaume Amontons (1663-1705) invents the pendant barometer, and improves the thermometer for use at sea; in 1699 he pub. his rediscovery of the laws of friction first proposed by Leonardo da Vinci, and is pooh-poohed until Charles-Augustin de Coulomb verifies them in 1781.

In 1695 Edmund Halley discovers the periodicity of comet orbits.

In June 1696 Swiss mathematician Johann Bernoulli pub. the Brachistochrone Problem (Br. "brakistos kronos" = shortest time) in Acta Eruditorum, the curve of fastest descent between two points, with the soundbyte: "Given two points A and B in a vertical plane, what is the curve traced out by a point acted on only by gravity, which starts at A and reaches B in the shortest time"; Bernoulli takes two weeks to solve it , incorrectly, and ends up using his brother Jakob's correct solution in the May 1697 ed. of the mag.; meanwhile after receiving a letter from Leibniz with the problem on Jan. 29, 1697 (4:00 p.m.) and staying up all night, Isaac Newton sends the solution anonymously to Bernoulli, who immediately recognizes him, with the soundbyte that he "recognizes a lion from his claw mark", to which Newton utters the soundbyte: "I do not love to be dunned and teased by foreigners about mathematical things."

In 1696 French mathematician Guillaume de L'Hôpital (Hopital) (1661-1704) pub. L'Analyse des Infiniment Petits pour l'Intelligence des Lignes Courbes, the first textbook on infinitesimal calculus, based on lectures by his teacher Johann Bernoulli (1667-1748); it incl. L'Hopital's (L'Hospital's) Rule for solving the indeterminate form 0/0 through repeated differentiation - send it to the differential hospital?

In 1696 English mathematician-theologian William Whiston (1667-1752) (student of Isaac Newton at Cambridge U.) pub. A New Theory of the Earth from its Original to the Consummation of All Things, which defends the Biblical account of Creation, with the soundbyte: "The Mosaic Creation is not a nice and philosophical account of the origin of all things; but a historical and true representation of the formation of our single Earth out of a confused Chaos, and of the successive and visible changes thereof each Day, till it became the habitation of mankind"; he claims that the Biblical Flood was caused by a comet hitting the Earth; too bad, he pushes Arianism, pissing-off most Christians, esp. Roman Catholics, but making fans of Isaac Newton and John Locke.

In 1699 Dumaurier Duperrier invents the first portable fire pump to put out the imminent fires of Armageddon - a major case of mass tenesmus?

In the 18th cent. the Industrial Rev. begins in Europe, starting slow and picking up steam about 1760; at the beginning of the cent. living conditions in Europe stink, with corpses piled into empty graves until full.

In 1700 English mathematician John Machin (1686-1751) (prof. of astronomy at Gresham College, London) invents a convergent series for pi based on the series expansion of the arctangent function, and uses it to compute pi to 100 decimal places - well snaggle my fran?

About 1700 Sir Isaac Newton predicts the deflection of light around the Sun by 0.875 arc sec.; Albert Einstein later plagiarizes him for his 1913 prediction, which isn't experimentally verified because of WWI, but changes his prediction to 1.75 arc sec. before an expedition to a solar eclipse measures it in 1919?; Newton claimed that the gravitational attraction of the Sun makes light travel faster close to it so that the deflected light arrives before the undeflected light, whereas Einstein claimed that light will be delayed when passing close to the Sun.

In 1700 Joseph Sauveur begins writing on musical acoustics.

In 1700 French botanist Joseph Pitton de Tournefort (1656-1708) discovers ammonium chloride.

In 1701 English farmer Jethro Tull (1674-1741) invents the horse-drawn machine seed drill, which neatly sows seeds in rows. In 1731 he pub. Horse-hoeing Husbandry; shows how to reduce seed requirements by 75% using his seed drill, and grow perpetual wheat crops without manure, along with a system of 13 continuous crops; used by Voltaire and George Washington; "I was so far from being inclined to the scribbling disease, that I had disused writing for above twenty years, before I was prevailed on to commit my thoughts upon Husbandry to paper... It is no wonder that the style is low as the author... but fine language will not fill a farmer's barn; neither does truth need any embellishments of art."

In 1702 Dutch natural philosopher Guillaume (Wilhelm) Homberg (1652-1715) discovers Boron and Borax - no mule team needed?

In 1702 George Sorocold (1668-1739) of Derby, England invents the Tidal Pump - the Oral B Pulsar, changing the way you brush forever is only 3 centuries away?

In 1705 Frankfurt-born German scientific illustator Maria Sibylla Merian (1647-1717) pub. Metamorphosis Insectorum Surinamensium, based on her 1699-1701 trip to Surinam to study Nature, making her the first person "to plan a journey rooted in science"; uses indigenous names for plants, and produces a classification of butterflies and moths that survives to modern times, becoming the first Euro to describe army ants and leaf cutter ants; contains a famous pictorial description of the metamorphosis of the butterfly, making her a star and making a fan of Peter I the Great.

In 1707 German chemist-physician Georg Ernst Stahl (1659-1734) pub. the alchemy-influenced Phlogiston Theory of Combustion, which it takes Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier until 1783 to phlog out of fashion.

In 1710 Irish Anglican bishop George Berkeley (1685-1753) pub. A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge, arguing that the physical world consists only of ideas, which exist when we are not observing them only in the mind of God. In 1878 the town of Berkeley, Calif. on the E shore of San Francisco Bay is named after him, becoming home of the radical main campus of the U. of Calif.

In 1710 Jacob Christoph Le Blon (1667-1741) of Germany invents 3-color printing.

In 1710 Per (Pehr) Elvius the Elder of Sweden becomes the first to assign the values 0 degrees and 100 degrees to the boiling and melting points of water.

In 1710 English astronomer Edmund Halley (1656-1742) discovers that the position of the "fixed" night stars change over time, hence the Earth must move around the Sun.

In 1710 Francois Xavier Bon de Saint Hilaire of France produces the first commercial saffron-colored silk from golden orb spiders in Madagascar, making an entire suit of clothes for Louis XIV.

In 1712 Thomas Newcomen (1664-1729) invents the Newcomen Steam Engine, becoming the first practical device to harness steam power to produce mechanical work, and the first great invention of an Englishman; unfortunately it uses only one chamber and is only about 1% efficient - hi, I love your purse?

In 1713 Swiss mathematician Jacob Bernoulli (1654-1705) pub. the primitive form of the Law of Large Numbers, that the average of a large number of trials converges to the expected value.

In 1713 English (Cambridge) mathematician Roger Cotes (1682-1716) revises Newton's Principia Mathematica (begun 1709), contributing a preface touting Newton's Law of Gravitation as superior to Rene Descarte's Theory of Vortexes; 750 copies are printed.

In 1713 Japanese scientist Ekiken Kabara (-1714) first describes the concept of dietary control as a method for achieving good health and longevity.

In 1714 Danzig, Poland-born Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit (1686-1736) of Amsterdam invents mercury-in-glass thermometer, followed in 1724 by the 0-32-212 Fahrenheit Scale, which becomes popular with beer brewers. In 1742 Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius (1701-44) proposes the 0-100 Celsius (Lat. "centigrade" = 100 steps) Scale for use in lab work to the Royal Swedish Society. with 0 for the boiling point and 100 for the freezing point; in 1745 Carolus Linnaeus inverts it; mercury solidifies at -39 C; after the Celsius scale is adopted by the internat. scientific community, only the U.S. sticks with the Fahrenheit scale. In 1724 Fahrenheit discovers the phenomenon of supercooling (undercooling), the ability of a liquid or gas to be lowered below its freezing point, for example when water doesn't freeze in clouds.

In 1713 English clockmaker George Graham (1674-1751) creates the first Orrery, a mechanical model of the Solar System, named for his patron Charles Boyle, 4th Earl of Orrery (1674-1731), and built by instrument maker John Rowley of London; Orrery gets the 2nd copy after the first goes to Austrian prince Eugene of Savoy (1663-1736).

In 1714 the first crude typewriter is patented by Henry Mill (1683-1711) in England.

In 1717 the hybridization of Dianthus is reported in Britain by English gardener Thomas Fairchild (1667-1729) of Hoxton, East End, London, who crosses a Sweet William (Dianthus barbatus) with a Carnation Pink to create Fairchild's Mule, the first artificial hybrid.

In 1718 French-born mathematician (in London) Abraham de Moivre (1667-1754) pub. The Doctrine of Chances, the first textbook on probability theory, prized by gamblers. In 1830 he pub. Miscellanea Analytica, the first book to use a probability integral with an integrand consisting of the exponential of a negative quadratic; it contains De Moivre's Formula, using complex numbers in trigonometry, bringing it into the realm of analysis.

In Apr. 1721 Scottish surgeon Charles Maitland (1668-1745) performs the first smallpox inoculation in England with live smallpox virus on 4-y.-o. Mary Montagu, daughter of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689-1762), who had contracted smallpox in Dec. 1715 and learned of the procedure while visiting Constantinople and had him do it to her 5-y.-o. son there in Mar. 1718; in Aug. 1722 seven condemned prisoners at Newgate Prison volunteer to become guinea pigs, and all survive and are released; in Dec. 1722 after five orphans of St. James's Parish in London are successfully inoculated, French-born English surgeon Claudius Amyand (1680-1740) inoculates three of the children of Prince George (later George II) and Princess Caroline of Ansbach, and later has Maitland inoculate her eldest son Frederick and one other child; meanwhile a smallpox epidemic in Boston, Mass. in Apr.-Dec. 1721 that infects 5,889 and kills 884 leads Cotton Mather to have his son inoculated, then to preach inoculation, causing a public hue and cry against him even though it works, drawing fire from physician William Douglass and support from physician Zabdiel Boylston, with prejudice against "heathens" in the Ottoman Empire and Bible-thumping arguments playing a role. On Dec. 6, 1735 Amyand performs the first successful Appendectomy on 11-y.-o. Hanvil Anderson at St. George's Hospital in London, England.

In 1724 the Jantar Mantar (magical device), a network of three observatories based in and S of Delhi is constructed in the "Pink City" of Jaipur, Rajasthan by Rajput maharaja and astronomer Maharaja Sawai Jai Singh II (1688-1743) of Amber, who designs masonry structures and crude instruments because his Jesuit advisers were prohibited by the Church from accepting the views of Galileo and Copernicus; the city is designed according to Hindu doctrine in seven rectangular areas according to the caste system, with the palace in the 7th and holiest one, and the observatory in the place of the temple; other observatories are built in Delhi, Mathura, Ijjain, and Varanasi.

In 1725 English astronomer royal #3 James Bradley (1692-1762) observes that the fixed stars describe small ellipses within exactly the duration of the terrestrial year, and that stars from the poles of the ecliptic to the ecliptic describe figures increasingly less circular and more approaching straight lines, suggesting the possibility of observing stellar parallax (discovered in 1838); he also discovers the aberration of light (which he explains by the finite speed of light combined with the motion of the Earth around the Sun), and the phenomenon of nutation, and begins measurement throughout an 18.5-year lunar cycle (until 1748).

In 1726 English clergyman Stephen Hales (1677-1761) first measures blood pressure. In 1727 he pub. Vegetable Staticks, or, Statical Essays, which founds the science of plant physiology.

You might as well be walking in the Sun? On Apr. 15, 1726 William Stukeley dines with Sir Isaac Newton; "After dinner, the weather being warm, we went into the garden and drank thea, under the shade of some appletrees, only he and myself. Amidst other discourse, he told me, he was just in the same situation, as when formely, the notion of gravitation came into into his mind. It was occasion'd by the fall of an apple, as he sat in a contemplative mood. Why should that apple always descend perpendicularly to the ground, thought he to himself. Why should it not go sideways or upwards, but constantly to the earths centre? Assuredly, the reason is, that the earth draws it... That there is a power, like that we here call gravity, which extends its self thro' the Universe."

On Mar. 31, 1727 (Mar. 20, 1726 Old Style) Sir Isaac Newton (b. 1643) (b. 1642 Old Style) dies in London after saying that his greatest accomplishment is lifelong celibacy; his brainy disciple Samuel Clarke (1675-1729) (known for leaping over chairs and tables and swimming on tables?) turns down his £1K-a-year job as master of the mint because it's a govt. job and he's a clergyman?; his VIP burial is attended by royalty and presided over by his friend Alexander Pope (1688-1744), who gives a stirring eulogy before sprinkling dirt on his tomb, with the soundbyte: "Nature and Nature's Laws lay hid in Night/ God said, Let Newton be! and All was Light".

In 1727 after discovering slight magnetic fluctuations on his compass to be correlated with the latter's observations of aurorae, English watchmaker George Graham (1674-1751) and Swedish scientist Anders Celsius (1701-44) discover that sunspots are really magnetic storms.

In 1727 French scientist ("Father of Natural History") George-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon (1707-88) discovers the Binomial Theorem. In 1749-89 he pub. Histoire Naturelle, générale et particulière, avec la description du Cabinet du Roy (36 vols.) (8 more vols. pub. posth.), which becomes an internat. hit, shocking Bible-thumpers with the claim that the Earth has been developing for at least 75K years via "organic particles", pointing out similarities but not the common ancestry of humans and apes while entertaining it as a hypothesis, preparing peoples' minds for the advent of Darwinism, Anthropology, etc.; too bad, he views the Caucasian race of Adam and Eve as the pinnacle, and all other races as a degenerated version caused by climate, etc. - if they only coulda seen U.S. Pres. George W. Bush?

In 1727 Irish writer Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) pub. Gulliver's Travels (Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World, in Four Parts, By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships); Lemuel Gulliver visits the countries of Lilliput (6-in. tall people, their city of Mildendo surrounded by a 2.5-ft. wall), Blefuscu (ditto), Brobdingnag (60-ft. tall giants), Laputa (flying island of scientific quacks), Glubdubdrib (sorcerers), Luggnag (island where the Stuldbrugs live forever), the land of the Houyhnhnms, where intelligent horses rule over savage humanoid Yahoos, and Balnibarbi (inventors and projectors, capital Lagado); a satire of all things English, or just English modernism?

In 1728 French scientist ("Father of Modern Dentistry") Pierre Fauchard (1678-1761) pub. Le Chirurgien Dentiste, ou Traite des Dents (The Surgeon Dentist), which disproves the worm theory of dental decay, and invents the prof. of dentistry and the word dentist; he invents an improved tooth drill.

In 1729 French scientist Pierre Bouguer (1698-1758) pub. Essai d'optique sur la gradation de la lumiere (lumière), a study of the quantity of light lost passing through the atmosphere, announcing the Beer-Lambert Law, which states that the absorbance is directly proportional to its path length; in June 1760 Swiss superbrain scientist Johann Heinrich Lambert (1728-77) pub. Photometria, establishing a complete system of photometry (Gr. "photos" + "metria" = light + measurement), quoting Bouguer's 1729 paper proposing the Beer-Lambert Law and ending up getting credit; in 1852 German Jewish scientist August Beer (1825-63) pub. another version, stating that the intensity of light transmitted through a solution at a given wavelength decreases exponentially with the path length and the concentration of the solute - let's have a beer?

In 1729 French scientist Jean-Jacques d'Ortous de Mairan (1678-1771) first observes the Circadian Rhythm in the plant Mimosa pudica.

In 1730 Swedish chemist Georg Brandt (1694-1768) discovers the element Cobalt (Co) (#27), becoming the first new element discovered since ancient times.

In 1730 English mathematician John Hadley (1682-1744) invents the Octant (precursor to the sextant) for sea navigation to determine latitude; Thomas Godfrey (1704-49) of British Am. independently invents it.

In 1730 Henri Pitot (1695-1771) of France invents the Pitot Tube to measure fluid velocity.

In 1730 French chemist Charles Francois de Cisternay du Fay (1698-1739) discovers that electrical action can be repulsion as well as attraction.

In 1730 George Martine (1700-41) performs the first tracheotomy to treat diphtheria.

In 1730 London Soho optician Edward Scarlett perfects rigid sidepieces for eyeglasses, which are in greater demand because of the proliferation of the printing press - tell us about the revolutionary role spectacles play in history?

In 1731 French entomologist Rene (René) Antoine Ferchault de Reaumur (Réaumur) (1683-1757) invents an alcohol thermometer with the 0-80 (freezing-boiling) Reaumur (Réaumur) Temperature Scale - he should have used the 20-80 rule and made it 0-100? In 1752 he proves that gastric juice dissolves meat - and thus all animals are meat machines?

In 1731 English astronomer John Bevis (1695-1771) discovers the Crab Nebula (M1), which was seen by Chinese astronomers in 1054.

In 1731 the annual Copley Medal is founded via a £100 bequest by Sir Godfrey Copley, 2nd Baronet (1653-1709) to recognize "outstanding achievements in research in any branch of science", becoming the oldest medal awarded by the British Royal Society, and the oldest scientific award to survive to modern times; the first one is given to Stephen Gray for "his new Electrical Experiments".

Spin it round, spin it round? In 1732 Saint-Malo-born Pierre Louis Moreau de Maupertuis (1698-1759), who left the army in 1723 at age 25 after five years of spare-time study of math to become a member of the Academie Francaise in Paris introduces Newton's Theory of Gravitation to France, sparking a French nerd movement. Science reaches out and touches Father, er, Mother Earth? In 1735 the Paris Academie Francaise is rocked by a controversy between supporters of Isaac Newton (1643-1727), led by Pierre de Maupertuis (1698-1759), who believe that the Earth is slightly flattened at the poles, and supporters of Jacques Cassini (1677-1756), who believe it is instead flattened at the equator. In 1736 French scientist Charles Marie de La Condamine (1701-74) leads an expedition to Ecuador-Peru to measure a degree of longitude at the equator, siting the zero degree latitude line (Middle of the World) near Quito, and discovering rubber (insert gratuitous sex joke here?); meanwhile Anders Celsius and Pierre de Maupertuis lead an expedition to Lapland to measure a degree of longitude at the North Pole, and verify Isaac Newton's prediction that the Earth is an oblate spheroid - of course, it's a woman not a man?

In 1732 English clockmaker Christopher Pinchbeck (1670-1732) invents the copper-zinc alloy Pinchbeck, which becomes popular for imitation gold watches for the next 20 years until 9-carat gold and electrogilding replace it.

In 1733 French chemist Charles Francois de Cisternay du Fay (1698-1739) pub. his discoveries that electrical action can be repulsion as well as attraction, calling the two types "vitreous" and "resinous", noting the difference between conductors ("electrics") and insulators ("non-electrics"); he also disproves the theory of Stephen Gray that electric properties of a body depend on its color.

In 1733 British lawyer Chester Moore (Moor) (More) Hall (1703-71) builds the first Achromatic Compound Lens out of flint glass.

In 1733 John Kay (1704-80) of England patents the Flying Shuttle Loom for the manufacture of textiles, which uses a lever and springs to allow one weaver to throw the shuttle back and forth instead of two; too bad, while wool weavers adopt it, cotton weavers don't follow er, suit until the 1760s.

In 1735 Swedish botanist Carl Linnaeus (1707-78) pub. Systema Naturae, which describes his plant classification system. In 1751 he pub. Philosophia Botanica, the first textbook on systematic botany and botanical Latin. In 1753 he first distinguishes plants via species and genera, causing him to become known as the Father of Taxonomy.

In 1736 Swiss #1 mathematician Leonhard Euler (1707-83) solves the Konigsberg (Königsberg) Bridge Problem, and founds the study of Analytical Mechanics. In 1744 he discovers the Calculus of Variations. In 1752 he pub. the Polyhedron Face-Vertex-Edge Formula f+v=e+2 (e.g., f=6, v=8, e=12 for a cube, f=32, v=60, e=90 for a buckyball). In 1768 he proposes that the wavelength of light determines its color.

In 1736 English clockmaker John Harrison (1693-1776) completes the first accurate chronometer for determining longitude, making long-distance sea travel possible along with a global sea empire, and applies for the £20K Longitude Prize offered by the British govt.; too bad, they play games and never award it to him as he goes through five major versions H1-H5; in 1773 after George III personally intervenes, Parliament gives him a different monetary award.

In 1737 English mathematician Thomas Simpson (1710-61) pub. Treatise of Fluxions, in which he derives Simpson's Rule for numerical approximation of definite integrals, which he gets credit for even though it was used by Galileo's student Bonaventura Cavalieri in 1639, and by Johannes Kepler.

In 1737 Jacques de Vaucanson (1709-83) of France builds the Transverse Flute Player, a lifesize automaton that plays the pipe and tabor and has a 12-song repertoire; next year he puts skin on it so it can play the flute; the first true robot? In 1738 he builds the Tambourine Player and the Digesting (Defecating) Duck, with 400+ moving parts, able to flap its wings and drink, eat, and shit from a hidden container (no actual digestion) using the world's first flexible rubber tube. In 1745 after being appointed by Cardinal Fleury in 1741 as French inspector of silk manufacture, he invents a Punch-Card Controlled Drawloom (the first completely automated loom) in an effort to help French industry catch up with England and Scotland; too bad, the Luddites shut him down, and he gives up on robots.

In 1738 Swiss mathematician-physicist Daniel Bernoulli (1700-82) pub. Hydrodynamica, which announces Bernoulli's Law (Principle), a pressure-velocity (PV) relationship for fluids explaining the loss of vis viva in fluid flow using the idea of conservation of energy, stating that an increase in the speed of a fluid occurs simultaneously with a decrease in the fluid's pressur or potential energy, founding the field of Hydrodynamics; derives Boyle's Law by considering a gas as a collection of atoms which collide with the container wall, but everybody overlooks it until it's rediscovered in 1859 - they still teach all that in Top Gun school?

In 1738 the first Cuckoo Clocks are produced in the Black Forest district of Germany - 200 years till Shirley Temple as Heidi?

In 1739 Plunket Fleeson of Philadelphia, Penn. invents Wallpaper, stamping designs on paper with woodblocks, painting them in by hand, then advertising "paper hangings" in the Penn. Gazette - plunket and fleece 'em?

In 1740 Hold onto your bonnet, boys? Charles Bonnet (1720-93) of Switzerland pub. his Dissertation on Aphids, describing parthenogenetic reproduction for the first time, winning him the honor of corresponding member of the French Academy of Science.

And I owe it all to the Bissel Flipit? In 1740 Emilie Du Chatelet (Gabrielle Émilie Le Tonnelier de Breteuil, Marquise Du Châtelet) (1706-49), a student of Pierre de Maupertuis, who attracted Voltaire to her scientific circle then became lovers and shacked up with him in her cozy chalet pub. a seminal paper in Institutes of Physics, based on experiments of Dutch scientist Willem Jacob 's Gravesande (1688-1742), backing up Gottfried Wilham von Leibniz' vis viva theory (energy is mass times speed squared, not mass times speed as Isaac Newton claims); being a woman, it is not accepted for a cent., and meanwhile she dies in 1749 at age 43 (15 years after hooking up with Volty) of an embolism 6 mo. after giving birth to a 4th child; "A great man whose only fault is being a woman." (Voltaire)

In 1740 French scientist Charles Marie de La Condamine (1701-74) discovers Curare.

On June 7, 1742 Prussian-born mathematician Christian Goldbach (1690-1764) proposes the Goldbach Conjecture, that every natural number greater than two can be expressed as the sum of two primes, and every natural number greater than five can be written as the sum of three primes; it is solved in ?.

In 1743 French mathematician-astronomer Alexis Claude Clairaut (1713-65) pub. a confirmation of Isaac Newton's prediction that the Earth is slightly oblate (flattened at the poles).

On Dec. 9, 1743 the Klinkenberg-De Cheseaux Comet (Great Comet of 1744) is discovered by Dirk Klinkenberg (1709-99) of Haarlem, Netherlands, and again on Dec. 13 by Jean-Philippe Loys de Cheseaux (Chéseaux) (1718-51) of Lausanne, Switzerland; next Mar. it exhibits 6-7 tails and becomes brighter than Jupiter, becoming the largest recorded comet since the birth of modern astronomy (0.5 absolute magnitude), although the ancients saw a bigger 10-tailed comet in -1486. In 1744 Cheseaux first states Olbers' Paradox, that the night sky can't be dark if the Universe is infinite.

In 1744 French scientist Jean Baptiste le Rond d'Alembert (1717-83) pub. Traite de l'Equilibre et du Mouvement des Fluides (Treatise on the Equilibrium and Movement of Fluids), which introduces the components of fluid velocity and acceleration, differential requirements for continuity, and complex numbers, deriving the paradox of zero longitudinal force on the body.

In 1744 French naturalist Georges Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon (1707-88) pub. his 44-vol. L'Historie Naturelle, which shocks Bible-thumpers with its claim that the Earth has been developing for at least 75K years via "organic particles", pointing out similarities if not the common ancestry of humans and apes - if they only coulda seen U.S. Pres. George W. Bush?

In 1744 Spanish scientists slash naval officers Antonio de Ulloa (1716-95) and Jorge Juan y Santacilia (1713-73), who went on the La Condamine expedition to South Am. in 1736 then remained, discover sizeable stores of the element Platinum (Pt) (#78) (Sp. "platina" = little silver), and take some back to Europe with them on separate ships; too bad, Ulloa's ship is captured by the Brits, but after the scientists pull their increasingly powerful internat. strings he ends up a fellow of the Royal Society of London - what's it good for, doorstops?

In 1744 Benjamin Franklin invents the cast-iron Franklin Stove, which stands away from the walls and looks like a chimney; it is redesigned in 1790 by David R. Rittenhouse so that it actually works.

In 1745 French mathematician Pierre Louis Moreau de Maupertuis (1698-1759) (whose portrait bears a striking resemblance to actor Bob Hope (1903-2004)?) pub. Venus Physique (The Earthly Venus), which challenges the preformation theory of genetics, proposing development of life from a common ancestor, and announcing the take-a-chance-on-me Principle of Least (Stationary) Action. In 1747 he and French mathematician Alexis Claude Clairaut (1713-65) return from expeditions to Peru and Lapland with proof that the Earth is oblate as predicted by Newton, not ovoid as predicted by Descartes - he laid an egg? In 1751 he pub. Systeme de la Nature, which challenges the spontaneous generation of life, and proposes the idea of dominant and recessive genes by discussing polydactyly in families, attributing it to a mutation in the "hereditary particles".

In 1745 English farmer Robert Bakewell (1725-95) of England pioneers Systematic Stock Breeding (Animal Husbandry) - good stock we must bake well?

In 1745-6 the Leyden Jar, the biggest electrical breakthrough of the 18th cent. is discovered independently by Canon Ewald Georg von Kleist (1700-48) of Kamin, Pomerania (Oct. 11, 1745) and Pieter van Musschenbroek (1692-1761) of the U. of Leyden in Holland (Jan. 1746), giving it its name.

In 1746 French philosopher Denis Diderot (1713-84) anon. pub. Pensees Philosophiques, a collection of aphorisms, giving him a rep after the Paris Parlement burns it for its anti-Christian ideas, causing him to be found out and invited to edit a French tr. of the 1728 English "Cyclopedia" of recently-deceased lexicographer Ephraim Chambers (1660-1740), and he hooks up with Jean Baptiste Le Rond d'Alembert and ramps up the project into a propaganda campaign against the Church and feudal society, esp. in France. In 1751 they pub. Encyclopedie (Encyclopédie) ou Dictionnaire Raisonne (Raisonné) des Sciences, des Arts et des Metiers (Métiers), Vol. 1 in Paris, becoming the Bible of the French Enlightenment; it is pub. despite hounding by govt. censors and condemnation by the Church and other enemies, who to try to prevent pub., getting it delayed in 1752 and 1757, and suppressed in 1759-65; it eventually comprises 34 vols. (last vol. pub. 1772) - I know, I memorized them all?

On Apr. 8, 1747 French opthalmologist Jacques Daviel (1696-1762) performs the first extracapsular cataract extraction surgery, becoming the first significant advance since couching in ancient India - just use a laser?

In 1747 Edinburgh physician James Lind (1716-94) discovers that lemons and oranges cure Scurvy, while vinegar, garlic, and seawater are ineffective; British ships begin carrying limes from Montserrat Island in the Caribbean, causing British seamen to become known as limeys.

In 1747 German chemist Andreas Sigismund Marggraf (1709-82) discovers sugar in beet roots, also a pure form of zinc; his student Franz Karl Achard (1753-1821) goes on to devise an economical industrial method to extract pure sugar from beets.

In 1748 French physicist Abbe Jean-Antoine Nollet (1700-70) invents the Electroscope, and describes how a cylinder filled with alcohol, closed with an animal bladder and immersed in water causes the bladder to swell to bursting as water passes in and alcohol can't pass out, becoming the first description of Osmotic Pressure (Gr. "osmos" = impulse).

In 1750 Swiss mathematician Gabriel Cramer (1704-52) pub. Cramer's Rule for solving a system of linear equations with matrices and determinants; too bad, Colin Maclaurin beat him to it in 1748?

In 1750 French economist Anne-Robert-Jacques Turgot, Baron de Laune (1727-81) pub. A Philosophical Review of the Successive Advances of the Human Mind on Universal History: Reflections on the Formation and the Distribution of Wealth, the first pub. of the idea of progress, which incl. the arts, sciences, and culture.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a bolt? In 1750 Am. brain man Benjamin Franklin (1706-90) presents Two Letters on Lightning to the Royal Society of London, describing an 1749 experiment (which he hasn't tried yet) to see if lightning is really electricity by holding a 20-30-ft. pointed sharp metal rod up from the top of a tower during a thunderstorm, inventing the Lightning Rod; they are excerpted in The Gentleman's Magazine, then pub. as an 86-page booklet next year, causing a (electric?) sensation.

In 1750 Jonas Hanway (1712-86) of London becomes the first to use an umbrella to keep off rain, rather than a newspaper in his hand to keep the rain away, suffering catcalls and jeers as up till now only women used them, and only as sun shades (parasols).

In 1751 German physician Johann Gottlob Leidenfrost (1715-94) discovers the Leidenfrost Effect, in which a liquid dropped on a surface hotter than its boiling point produces an insulating vapor layer that causes it to hover over the surface.

In 1751 German physicist Johann Tobias Mayer (1723-1830) pub. new solar tables which improve navigation, giving longitude at sea to 0.5 deg.

In 1752 James Ayscough (-1759) of London perfects Eyeglasses with double-hinged sidepieces, which become the fashion.

In 1752 Rene Antoine Ferchault de Reaumur (1683-1757) proves that gastric juice dissolves meat - and thus all animals are meat machines?

In 1754 Scottish chemist Joseph Black (1728-99) discovers carbon dioxide (carbonic acid) gas, which he calls "fixed air", and discovers its function in the "causticization of lime", which helps disprove the phlogiston theory. In 1761 Black discovers the phenomenon of Latent Heat (required to effect a change of state), and measures the value for steam in 1764.

In 1754 German brain man Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) discovers the retardation of the rotation of the Earth by frictional resistance of tidal currents, and concludes that time is not a thing in itself, but an unavoidable framework of the human mind; his discovery isn't noticed by scientists until 1840 when the idea of energy is being developed. In 1755 he pub. his doctoral thesis Gen. Natural History and Theory of the Celestial Bodies, conceding the existence of life on other planets like Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake for, and advancing the nebular hypothesis, describing nebulae as "island universes".

In 1757 South Am. cinchona being so expensive, and assuming that since malaria comes from marshy places, the cure must ditto, English clergyman Edward Stone substitutes willow bark, and thinks it cures malaria as well, although all it does is reduce fever, which becomes known as the Willow Bark Fallacy.

In 1757 Capt. John Campbell (1720-80) of England invents the Vernier Sextant.

In 1757 James Whatman (1702-59) of Kent, England invents Wove Paper (Papier Velin), featuring a uniform surface free of ribs and watermarks.

In 1758 Dalmatian Jesuit mathematician (in Italy and France) Roger Joseph (Ruggero Giuseppe) Boscovich (1711-87) pub. A Theory of Natural Philosophy Reduced to a Single Law of the Actions Existing in Nature (Theoriam Philosophiae Naturalis Redacta ad Unicam Legem Virium in Natural Existentium), which questions Newtonian action at a distance and pioneers field theory, later influencing Michael Faraday.

In 1758 John Dollond (1706-61) and Chester Moor Hall (1703-71) of England independently invent the Achromatic Lens for telescopes after taking Leonhard Euler's 1747 suggestion of glass and water lenses and switching to crown and flint glass, countering Newton's belief that chromatic aberration is present in all lenses; after finding that optician George Bass made achromatic lenses without patenting them in 1733, Dolland refrains from enforcing his patent, but when he dies his son Peter Dollond (1730-1820) goes after everybody and gets the patent upheld, ruining several opticians until it expires in 1772.

In 1758 Scottish physician James Lind (1716-94) discovers that heating salt water produces steam that is fresh, and proposes solar energy distillation of water for ships, but nothing is done until 1810.

In 1758 French astronomer Charles Messier (1730-1817) rediscovers the Crab Nebula in the constellation Taurus, first seen by Chinese astronomers in 1054, and decides that it isn't a comet since it doesn't move, causing him to begin compiling his Messier Star Catalog, with this as M1 (actually a catalog of celestial objects that shouldn't be mistaken for comets).

In 1759 German mathematician Johann Heinrich Lambert (1728-77) pub. Treatise on Optics and Treatise on Perspective, causing the unit of brightness to later be named after him. In 1768 he proves that pi is incommensurable (has no common divisor).

On June 6, 1761 there is rare (once in 434 years) transit of Venus, and Russian mathematician Mikhail Vasiliyevich Lomonosov (1711-65) of Petersburg, Russia uses observations to predict that Venus has an atmosphere, causing preparations for the companion transit in 1769 to become big stuff; London-born English Rev. Dr. Nevil Maskelyne (1732-1811) is sent with mathematician Robert Waddington (-1779) to St. Helena Island to observe the transit, but bad weather prevents it, however, he successfully tests his new lunar distance method of determining longitude using the position of the Moon, which he pub. in The British Mariner's Guide (1763), and is used until about 1850; in 1765 he is appointed British astronomer royal #5 (until 1811).

In 1761 English mathematician and Presbyterian minister Thomas Bayes (1701-61) dies, leaving "An Essay Towards Solving a Problem in the Doctrine of Chances", containing Bayes' Theorem, which is read to the Royal Society by Richard Price in 1763; the theorem "is to the theory of probability what Pythagoras' theorem is to geometry" (Sir Harold Jeffreys).

In 1764 poor weaver James Hargreaves (1720-78) of Blackburn, England invents the Spinning Jenny, a mechanical spinning wheel that can spin eight threads at once; too bad, the news leaks, causing Luddites to invade his home and destroy it, after which he moves to Nottingham and gets financial backers, and patents it in 1770, only to see patent violators steal him blind.

In May 1765 Scottish inventor James Watt (1736-1819) (asst. of Joseph Black) invents the dual condenser steam engine (one hot and one cold) (patented in 1769), which cuts fuel consumption in the Newcomen steam engine by two-thirds, giving steam engines up to 7% efficiency, thus making them practical; he coins the marketing term "horsepower", and the Industrial Rev. is cooking with steam. In Oct. 1781 Watt patents the Sun-and-Planet Gear that makes it possible to give rotary motion to machinery via a steam engine - bringing the power of the sky down to Earth?

In 1765 Lazzaro Spallanzani (1729-99) of Italy discovers hermetic sealing as a means of preserving food - I no wanna lazzaro spoil la lasagni? In 1768 he disproves the theory of spontaneous generation using rotting meat in a hermetically-sealed container, which doesn't sprout maggots or flies.

In 1766 English scientist Henry Cavendish (1731-1810) studies hydrogen ("inflammable air"), named in 1787 by French chemist Louis-Bernard Guyton de Morveau (1737-1816) (from the Gr. for "water producing" when it burns), learns how to produce it, and discovers that it is lighter than air, and forms water on combustion, with the soundbyte "Water consists of dephlogisticated air [oxygen] united with phlogiston [hydrogen]."

In 1766 German mathematician Johann Daniel Titius (1729-96) discovers a pattern in planetary distances, namely that they are in the proportions 4, 7, 10, 16, 28, 52, 100, 196, which happens to be the series 0, 3, 6, 12, 24, 48, 96, 192 with 4 added to each; in 1772 German astronomer Johann Elert Bode (1747-1826) pub. it for the 1st time, causing it to become known as the Bode (Titius-Bode) Law of Planetary Distances; the discovery of Uranus in 1781 checks with the number 196, and the discovery of the asteroid Ceres (orbiting between Mars and Jupiter) in 1801 checks with the missing number 28, however Neptune (388) and Pluto (722) don't pan out, and the Titillating Bogus Law is dismissed as moose hockey (coincidence).

In 1766 London engraver-mapmaker John Spilsbury (1739-69) invents the jigsaw puzzles, a set of world maps.

In 1767 Swedish chemist Torbern Olaf Bergman (1735-84) of Uppsala measures and records the first "chemical affinities"; in 1775 he pub. Dissertation on Elective Affinities, containing the largest chemical affinity tables ever pub., first using the A, B, C etc. system for chemical equations.

In 1767 English chemist Joseph Priestley (1733-1804) creates the first artificially carbonated water; in 1771 Torbern Olaf Bergman of Sweden makes it from chalk and sulfuric acid. In 1770 Priestley discovers sulfur dioxide, and coins the name "rubber" for the substance from an Am. tree that is good for wiping black lead pencil marks from paper - funny how a priest coins the term rubber?

In 1767 Swiss Alpine climber and scientist Horace-Benedict de Saussure (1740-99) begins studying glass solar heat traps, obtaining temps higher than boiling water and building the first solar oven.

In 1768 French chemist Antoine Baume (Baumé) (1728-1804) invents the Baume (Baumé) Scale, a pair of hydrometer scales that measure the density of various liquids in degrees Baume, with distilled water = 0.

In 1769 Benjamin Franklin charts the Gulf Stream using info. from whaler captains and bottles dropped into the water with notes asking finders to return them to the postmaster gen. of the Am. colonies.

In 1769 after modifying an unsuccessful machine patented by Lewis Paul in 1738, English textile capitalist Richard Arkwright (1732-92) of Bolton invents the Water Frame hydraulic spinning machine to speed up the process of spinning cotton rope (roving) into fine twisted cotton threads using revolving rollers.

In 1769 French artillery officer Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot (1725-1804) builds a small 2-cylinder 3-wheeled steam carriage ("fardier a vapeur") (the first automobile?) in Paris, which can carry four people at 2 mph but lacks sufficient power and is unstable; next year he builds a larger version as a gun carriage for the French War Ministry, but it overturns as he tries to turn a corner on a Paris street, and knocks down part of the stone arsenal wall (first automobile accident), and he is sent to jail as a dangerous driver and his machine is impounded, ending up in the Conservatoire Nat. des Arts et Metiers in 1800 - if it worked we might have 100 Cugnotpower automobile engines?

Is it a big head thing? In 1769 German engineer Baron Wolfgang Ritter von Kempelen (1734-1804) builds The Turk, a chess-playing automaton in Vienna, which sits behind a 4'x2'x3' box with machinery and never loses; HRE Joseph II of Austria falls for it, and sends it on a tour of Europe, defeating Empress Catherine II of Russia and Napoleon; when Kempelen dies, it is revealed that a man hides inside; it is destroyed in a 1854 fire in the Chinese Museum in Philly.

In the 1770s the Chemical Rev. begins in Europe, led by French brain man ("the Father of Modern Chemistry") Antoine-Laurent de Lavoisier (1743-94).

On Apr. 15, 1770 the Pencil eraser is first described by English scientist Joseph Priestley made of a vegetable gum that he calls rubber; meanwhile English optician Edward Nairne (1726-1806) begins marketing erasers at 3 shillings/half-in. cube, making them popular as an alternative to bredcrumbs despite the high price; Nairne also patents a medical electrostatic generator, a chest microscope, and the first sucessful marine barometer.

In 1771 Scottish surgeon John Hunter (1728-93) pub. A Treatise on the Natural History of the Human Teeth, an anatomy of the jaws and teeth, which coins the terms "(bi)cuspids", "incisors", and "molars", founding modern dentistry. In 1772 he pub. The Digestion of the Stomach after Death, which describes shock and intussusception. In 1776 he becomes surgeon extraordinary to George III, rising to surgeon gen. in 1789; he goes on to become "the Father of Modern Scientific Surgery", building his knowledge from scratch with a collection of 13K specimens, pioneering new methods of repairing damage to the Achilles tendon, and a better method for ligating the arteries to treat an aneurysm, becoming one of the first to understand the importance of pathology, advocating surgery as the last resort to prevent complications from infection; in 1776 he oversees the first successful attempt at human artificial insemination, telling a linen draper suffering from hypospadias to impregnate his wife using a warm syringe - you need a bigger car?

In 1771 German-Swedish chemist Karl (Carl) Wilhelm Scheele (1742-86) discovers the halogen element Fluorine (Lat. "fluo" = to flow) (F) (#9).

In 1771 Swabian-born Jesuit U. of Vienna prof. Franz Friedrich Anton Mesmer (1734-1815) uses magnetic plates to cure diseases; in 1774 he invents animal magnetism (mesmerism) as the cure-all, hypnosis for your health, which develops a large following in about 1780-1850, with some influence until 1900. In 1834 Scottish physician ("Father of Modern Hypnotism") James Braid (1795-1860) coins the term "hypnosis" for animal magnetism or mesmerism.

In 1772 Italian mathematician-astronomer Joseph-Louis Lagrange (Giuseppe Luigi Lagrangia or Lagrancia) (1736-1813) pub. a paper proposing the five Lagrange (Libration) Points (L1 to L5), gravitational parking spaces. In 1788 he introduces Lagrangian Mechanics, which uses the Calculus of Variations.

In 1772 Scottish chemist Daniel Rutherford (1749-1819) discovers the gaseous element Nitrogen (N) (#14). In 1772 Priestley discovers nitrous oxide, which soon begins to be abused in laughing gas parties.

In 1773 the Shropshire Process for making iron is invented in England, and in 1779 the first cast iron bridge begins construction over the Severn River at Coalbrookdale in Shropshire (finished 1792). C.G. Kratzenstein of Copenhagen succeeds in reproducing human vowels mechanically using resonance tubes connected to organ pipes. In 1773 Swiss inventors Pierre Jacquet Droz (1721-90) and Henry Louis Jaquet-Droz (1752-91) invent the first automaton that can write.

In 1774 Swedish chemist-metallurgist Johan Gottlieb Gahn (1745-1818) of Falun, Sweden discovers Manganese (It. "by metathesis") (Mn) (#25).

In 1774 Karl Wilhelm Scheele discovers Ammonia, Barium (Ba) (#56), Chlorine (Cl) (#17) and Baryta (barium sulfate), and (along with Joseph Priestley and Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier) oxygen (O) (#16), which is first isolated by Priestley on Aug. 4.

A frosty but good year for inventors? In 1774 Eiswein (sweet wine from grapes that are allowed to freeze on the vine) is discovered by accident in the Franconia wine region of Germany near Wurzburg. In 1774 ice cream is first mentioned in British Am. In 1774 William Forsyth constructs the first rock garden in England. In 1774 Paper whitener is invented in Sweden. In 1774 John "Iron-Mad" Wilkinson (1728-1808) of England constructs a boring mill to manufacture steam engine cylinders - not that kind of boring?

In 1775 Priestley discovers hydrochloric acid and sulfuric acid.

In 1776 French chemist Joseph Marie Francois de Lassone (1717-88) becomes the first to prepare carbon monoxide by heating zinc oxide with coke, but thinks it's hydrogen because it burns with a blue flame; it takes until 1800 for English chemist William Cruikshank to identify its elements carbon and oxygen.

In 1776 Swedish chemists Karl (Carl) Wilhelm Scheele (1742-86) and Torbern Olof Bergman (1735-84) (who originally "discovered" Scheele) independently discover uric acid in kidney stones, and produce oxalic acid by reacting sugar with nitric acid, calling it "sugar acid" (sacker/socker-syra) - good cover story until they're ready to come out of the closet?

In 1777 Carl Wilhelm Scheele almost discovers ultraviolet when he studies how light of different colors darkens silver chloride, and finds that the effect is greatest toward the violet end of the spectrum.

In 1778 Carl Wilhelm Scheele discovers the element Molybdenum (Mo) (#42), and proves that molybdenite (molybdenum sulfide), graphite (black lead or plumbago), and galena (lead II sulfide) are three different minerals.

In 1779 Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier and Pierre Simon Laplace pub. their discovery that respiration is a form of combustion. In 1779 Scheele discovers Glycerine, and makes the surprising discovery that black pencil lead (plumbago) is actually a soft form of carbon; in 1789 In 1789 German Prussian geologist Abraham Gottlob Werner (1749-1817) names black lead Graphite, from the Greek "graphein" = "to draw or write".

It took 1300 years after the fall of Rome for the West to finally get its act together with the American Revolution in 1775-83, a new beginning for humanity that reached back to the ancient Greeks and made use of all the wisdom since, becoming the greatest breakthrough in human liberty ever seen, making the U.S. Da (don't say Great White) Hope of Da Non-Allah-Submitting World ever since. No Mel, it wasn't a Jewish plot, or if so, they must have made up with the ancient pagan Greeks who liked to exercise naked with their uncircumcised dongs swinging like your Celt ancestors, how'd you get so rich? Some of the great Founding Fathers included George Washington (1732-99), Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), James Madison (1751-1836), John Adams (1735-1826), Alexander Hamilton (1755-1804), Benjamin Franklin (1706-90), and Thomas Paine (1737-1809). They all based their philosophy on English big brain John Locke (1632-1704), ("Father of Liberalism"), French big brain Charles-Louis de Secondat, Baron Montesquieu (1689-1755), and Scottish big brains David Hume (1711-76), and Adam Smith (1723-90), but went way beyond them. Where did the U.S. Founding Fathers get their great ideas? Answer: they were historyscopers. Back then they didn't have the Internet like TLW, so access to historical materials was limited to the wealthy, and only those with great gobs of leisure time could absorb it all, so there these white English dudes were, hanging out in the libraries and studies in their mansions while their slaves supported them. No wonder they had an ambivalent attitude toward slavery, knowing that it was wrong but also not wanting to have to get a day job, but hedging their bets by laying the groundwork for racial equality on paper, while playing it safe and leaving the matter to posterity. Benjamin Franklin was an exception, a self-made man, so no surprise that he finally made peace with his conscience and denounced slavery just before he croaked of ripe old age. Tom Paine was a radical Freethinker who saw the French Revolution firsthand, and was always living off the income from his sensational writings, incl. The Age of Reason (1794-1807) (an American bestseller that argues for the existence of one God, but dissects the Bible as full of errors and contradictions, and slams the Bible god Jehovah as not the real God, but a tribal god of the Hebrews, little more than a bloodthirsty idol, not worthy of belief, too bad that Jefferson didn't loan him his Quran so he could tear it apart too), so of course he was the most vehement in denouncing slavery, knowing that they'd consider all his ideas kooky but cool enough to read in the loo. They were all ahead of their time, and the rest of the world is still catching up to their sound ideas, the world's main chance. Yes, there are still Deists around, and they do sometimes tear into the Quran, go Deists. So sorry, Pres. Obama,there wasn't a Muslim among them, but there were a lot of Freemasons among them, and they even laid out the U.S. capital city Washington, D.C. in a Masonic configuration. There were also Jews among them. In Germany in 1776 the mysterious Bavarian Order of the Illuminati was founded by Johann Adam Weishaupt (1748-1830), allegedly secretly funded and masterminded by German Jewish banker Mayer Amschel Rothschild (1744-1812), the father of international banking (a Spinoza disciple), with a general plan of destroying the Christian order in Europe by infiltrating and turning nation against nation until it all turns to crap, then stirring the crap to create a dNew World Order (NWO), and which somehow was allegedly behind the American Revolution, the French Revolution, the Revolutions of 1848, the U.S. Civil War, the Russian Revolution, World Wars I and II, the League of Nations and U.N., and which is supposedly on its game to this day and will be there if/when there's an Armageddon, stay tuned to Armageddon Idol starring Simon Scowl. Alexander Hamilton was allegedly a secret Rothschild agent, which is why he pushed the creation of the First U.S. National Bank on Feb. 25, 1791, which became the mission of U.S. pres. #7 (1829-37) Andrew Jackson (1767-1845) to free the U.S. from, which he did, only to have it come back bigtime on Dec. 23, 1913 with the Federal Reserve - Illuminati shark music here?

In 1776 English physician John Fothergill (1712-80) pub. the first clinical description of Fothergill's Disease (trigeminal neuralgia), prevalent in 45+-y.-o. females - love is a battlefield?

In 1776 Scottish geologist James Keir (1726-1820) suggests that rock formations such as Giant's Causeway in Ireland may have been caused by molten rock crystallizing as it cooled.

In 1776 27-y.-o. French mathematician brain man Pierre Simon Laplace (1749-1827) pub. the alluring theory that if we know all of the forces on all objects at any one time, then Da Future can be completely predicted - actions can happen at any time, that's why Newton's Law is here? In 1796 he pub. his Nebular Hypothesis. He goes on to pioneer the Laplace Transform, the Laplacian (Laplace Operator), and Laplace's Equation.

In 1776 French mathematician Jean Baptiste Marie Charles Meusnier de la Place (1754-93) pub. Meusnier's Theorem, that all curves on a surface passing through a given point and having the same tangent line at that point also have the same normal curvature at that one cool bitchin' point; he also discovers the mathematical pretty woman Helicoid, the 3rd known minimal surface.

As white Americans fight to create a new homeland for their "race" on stolen Amerindian land, a German scientist lays the theoretical basis for the original sin of white supremacy so that white will always be right theoretically no matter how the facts look? In 1776 German biologist Johann Friedrich Blumenbach (1752-1840) pub. De Generis Humani Varietate Nativa Liber (On the Natural Varieties of Humanity), which lays the foundation for the science of anthropology; taking it as given that only God can create them, he defines the four "races" of mankind as Caucasian, Mongolian, American Indian, and Ethiopian (African); in 1795 he adds Malayan; of course the punch line is that white is right and black is bad - and for the in-between colors, welcome to Progressive.com, Manwich, Manwich, we adore thee?

In Jan. 1779 French astronomer Antoine Darquier de Pellepoix (1718-802) discovers the Ring Nebula (Messier 57) in the N constellation of Lyra.

In 1779 French mathematician Etienne Bezout (Étienne Bézout) (1730-83) pub. Theorie Generale des Equations Algebriques in Paris, which contains material on the Elmination Theory, the symmetrical functions of the roots of an equation, and Bezout's Identity, that the greatest common divisor of natural numbers a and b is ax + by for some integers x and y.

In 1779 Dutch chemist-biologist Jan Ingenhousz (1730-99) discovers that plants need carbon dioxide, and that they need light in order to produce oxygen.

In 1779 Swiss physicist Horace-Benedict de Saussure (1740-99) pub. the idea that glaciers slide downhill on a base of meltwater.

In 1779 Italian biologist Lazzaro Spallanzani (1729-99) proves that sperm and egg must come into contact for fertilization to occur, and invents Artificial Insemination - don't be lazy and spill any?

In 1779 Samuel Crompton (1753-1827) of Bolton, England invents the Spinning Mule, AKA Hall-i'-th'-Wood, an improvement on the spinning jenny and water frame suitable for making tightly-twisted muslin; too bad, he can't afford to pay to patent it, so it becomes public domain and he dies broke; meanwhile Richard Arkwright et al. attempt to invent a carding machine to produce the cotton rovings that are fed into the spinning mule, based on the failed 1748 invention of Lewis Paul, and Arkwright pioneers all-in-one cotton factories, which are powered by water until 1784 when steam is first used.

In 1780 French printer Francois Ambroise Didot (1730-1804), son of Francois Didot (1689-1757) becomes the first to print on vellum paper.

In 1780 Italian scientist Felice Fontana (1730-1805) invents the Water Gas Shift (Water Splitting) Reaction, in which H2O and CO react at high temps to form CO2 and H2.

About 1780 the Age of Heroic Medicine in Europe and the U.S. begins (ends 1850), in which the patient has to become a hero to endure bloodletting, forced vomiting, sweating, blistering, and intestinal purging via calomel.

On Mar. 13, 1781 German-born English amateur astronomer Frederick William (Friedrich Wihelm) Herschel (1738-1822) discovers a new comet, sending An Account of a Comet to the Royal Society; when it turns out to be a new planet, Uranus, he names it Georgium Sidus in honor of George III, and gets knighted in return; in 1850 "the Georgian" is renamed Uranus - Your Anus would suggest itself later quite naturally when thinking about him? On Jan. 11, 1787 Herschel discovers Uranus' moons Titania and Oberon, naming them after Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream".

In 1781 Spanish (Basque) brother chemists Don Fausto Fermin de Elhuyar (Delhuyar) y De Lubice (1755-1833) and Juan Jose de Elhuyar (1754-96) discover the mineral element Tungsten (Swedish "heavy stone") (W) (#74) in wolframite and scheelite, and Karl Wilhelm Scheele determines its composition; because of the wolframite connection it receives the German symbol W and is also called wolfram; it has the highest melting point of any metal (3380 C, 6116 F).

In 1782 French papermaker brothers Joseph-Michel Montgolfier (1740-1810) and Jacques-Etienne (Étienne) Montgolfier (1745-99) of Annonay (near Lyons), France test their first small unmanned hot air balloon, made of paper filled with smoke.

In 1782 the sulfur-like element Tellurium (#52) (Te) (Lat. "tellus" = earth) is discovered combined with gold in Transylvania by Austrian mineralogist Franz=Joseph Muller (Müller) von Reichenstein (1740-1826).

In 1782 Oliver Evans (1755-1819) constructs the Hopper-Boy, the first automated flour mill in Wilmington, Del.

In 1782 James Watt develops the double-acting rotary steam engine, coining the term "horsepower", finding that a mine pony can lift 22K ft.-lb./min., increasing it by 50% for horses (33K).

In 1782 Josiah Wedgwood (1730-95) of England invents a pyrometer for pottery furnaces.

Do you know the way to Hot Air Bay? On June 4, 1783 the Montgolfier Brothers Joseph-Michele Montgolfier (1740-1810) and Jacques-Etienne Montgolfier (1745-99) publicly demonstrate their paper-lined linen hot air balloon, which rises to a height of 3K ft. at Annonay, France in a 10-min. 1-mi. flight; on Aug. 27 Parisian physicist Jacques Alexandre Cesar (César) Charles (1746-1823) launches a 13-ft.-dia. silk balloon (constructed under his supervision by A.J. and M.N. Robert) filled with hydrogen in Paris in front of 50K spectators; it floats at 3K ft. for more than 45 min. and lands in a village 16 mi. away, where the spooked villagers attack it with stones and knives; on Sept. 19 the Montgolfier Brothers conduct another demo in Versailles, witnessed by Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, where a duck, rooster, and sheep become the first living passengers, traveling 2 mi. in 8 min., with max. alt. of 1.5K ft, pissing the king off with the dense smoke they deliberately generate in the belief that it's what causes the buoyancy, later learning that it's heat; on Oct. 15 French daredevil physician Jean Francois Pilatre de Rozier (1754-85) makes the first tethered balloon ascension, repeating the demo on Oct. 17 before a group of scientists, then reaching 324 ft. on Oct. 19; on Nov. 21 (2 p.m.) champagne-toting de Rozier and army officer Marquis Francois Laurent le Vieux d'Arlandes (1742-1809) make the first untethered human flight, reaching a peak alt. of 500 ft. and traveling 5.5 mi. in 25 min. from the Bois de Boulogne in Paris in the presence of Louis XVI and a huge crowd, across the Seine River to the Butte-aux-Cailles; the next day Benjamin Franklin et al. sign the official certification at Passy; on Nov. 31 Jacques Charles (financed by Franklin) flies in his hydrogen balloon, while gouty Franklin watches from his carriage near the Tuileries Gardens; balloon exhibition flights soon become the rage in Paris; when asked what was the practical use of these balloon thingies, Franklin replies "What is the use of a newborn baby?"; the power of a mere individual to go over the king's head and attract large crowds is a giant leap for popular democracy, making the French In 1783 Jacques Charles makes and tests the first hydrogen-filled balloon, which is witnessed by Ben Franklin.

In 1783 Dutch-born deaf English amateur astronomer John Goodricke (1764-86) suggests that the variable star Algol (Beta Persei) (the Demon Star) is an eclipsing binary.

About 1783 English natural philosopher (known for his black complexion) Rev. John Michell (1724-93) proposes the Cavendish Experiment to measure the gravitational constant, and first pub. the Schwarzschild Radius for a star, where gravity causes it become a "dark star" from which light cannot escape, later called a black hole; the experiment is performed in 1797-8 by British scientist Henry Cavendish.

In 1783 Danish naturalist Otto Friedrich Mueller (Müller) (1730-84) becomes the first to describe Diatoms.

In 1783 taking advantage of the lengthening of human hair with humidity, Swiss geologist Horace-Benedict de Saussure (1740-99) invents the Hair Hygrometer, which is so reliable it is not replaced by an electrical version until the 1960s.

In 1783 German-born Geneva jeweler Johann Jacob Schweppe (1740-1821) uses a pump to carbonate mineral water, moving to London in 1792 to manufacture Schweppes Tonic Water.

On Sept. 15, 1784 crowd-pleasing "daredevil aeronaut" Vincenzo Lunardi (-1806) of Lucca, Tuscany makes the first balloon ascent in England in front of a crowd incl. the Prince of Wales, taking a dog, cat, and pigeon with him as he travels 24 mi.; on Nov. 23, 1785 he wows Glasgow, Scotland.

In 1784 Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) of Germany discovers that the human intermaxillary bone has a similar structure to that in apes, foreshadowing comparative morphology - while who was giving whom head?

In 1784 French mineralogist Abbe Rene Just Hauy (Haüy) (1743-1822) of the U. of Paris proposes the Law of Rational Indices, that the regular form of crystals is caused by a regular internal arrangement of tiny cubes or polyhedra ("molecules integrantes"); 174 years later (1958) an electron microscope confirms his model.

In 1785 French physicist Charles-Augustin de Coulomb (1736-1806) discovers Coulomb's Law of electrical forces.

In 1785 Scottish geologist James Hutton (1726-97) pub. Theory of the Earth; or An Investigation of the Laws Observable in the Composition, Dissolution, and Restoration of Land Upon the Globe, founding the modern science of geology with its presentation of the Bible-bashing principle of uniformitarianism, an Earth with "no vestige of a beginning - no prospect for an end"; too bad, it's too technical to obtain gen. acceptance until John Playfair popularizes it in 1802 - no end maybe, but it could have been created and had a beginning?

In 1786 Italian scientist Luigi Galvani (1737-98) discovers that nerves transmit electricity, and goes on in 1789 to experiment on the muscular contraction of dead frogs.

On Feb. 2, 1786 Westminster, London-born Anglo-Welsh hyperpolyglot linguist Sir William Jones (1746-94) delivers a famous speech in Calcutta to the Asiatic Society (which he founded in 1784), claiming a common source for the Sanskrit, Persian, Greek, Latin, Celtic, and German languages, with the soundbyte: "The Sanskrit language, whatever be its antiquity, is of a wonderful structure; more perfect than the Greek, more copious than the Latin, and more exquisitely refined than either, yet bearing to both of them a stronger affinity, both in the roots of verbs and the forms of grammar, than could possibly have been produced by accident; so strong indeed, that no philologer could examine them all three, without believing them to have sprung from a common source, which, perhaps, no longer exists; there is a similar reason, though not quite so forcible, for supposing that both the Gothic and the Celtic, though blended with a very different idiom, had the same origin with the Sanskrit; and the old Persian might be added to the same family."

In 1786 German scientist Karl Wilhelm Scheele (1742-86) discovers hydrocyanic acid before dying on May 21, and it's no surprise, since he tasted or sniffed all his chemical discoveries, most of which others get credit for, causing Isaac Asimov to call him "hard-luck Scheele"; he actually dies from long-term mercury poisoning?

In 1786 Swiss mountaineer and French lt. gen. Franz Ludwig Pfyffer (1716-1802) constructs the first Relief Map, a 3-D model of the Lake Lucerne area after working on it for 24 years.

In 1787 Edmund Cartwright (1743-1823) of England invents the Power Loom, featuring driving shafts driven by water; too bad, pissed-off weavers burn down a cotton mill using it, and it works poorly, taking until 1813 for William Horrocks to perfect it, adapting it to steam by 1822; in 1813 there are 2.4K power looms in use, followed by 12,150 in 1820, 45.5K in 1829, 85K in 1833, and 250K in 1850; British cotton exports zoom from £355K in 1781 to £7M in 1801, and £23.4M in 1841; meanwhile, the woolen industry lags behind in automation, with many hand looms still in use in 1850.

In 1787 Charles discovers Charles' Law, describing the relationship between gas volume and temperature.

In 1789 English Anglican minister and mineralogist William Gregor (1761-1817) of Cornwall, England discovers the metallic element Titanium (Ti) (#22) (named by Martin Heinrich Klaproth for the Greek Titans) (melting point 3,272 F) in menachanite, and names it menachite.

In 1789 William Herschel builds the world's largest telescope for the next 50 years, with a 48-in. aperture; on Aug. 28 he discovers Saturn's 6th moon Enceladus (the 100-armed giant?), and on Sept. 17 its 7th moon Mimas (named after a son of Gaia), marked by the giant Herschel Crater.

In 1789 German chemist Martin Heinrich Klaproth (1743-1817) makes the first chemical analysis of Pitchblende, and discovers the element Uranium (U) (#92), which initially is used in ceramics and textiles; he also discovers the metallic element Zirconium (Zr) (#40) in the sands of the rivers of Sri Lanka (Srilankium?); uranium is later used to make fuel elements for atomic reactors, and zirconium in containers for fuel elements since it doesn't absorb neutrons.

In 1789 French chemist ("the Father of Modern Chemistry") Antoine (Antoine-Laurent de) Lavoisier (1743-94) pub. Traite Elementaire de Chimie, the first modern chemical textbook; it defines an element as a single substance that can't be broken down by chemical analysis and from which all chemical compounds are formed; discovers that fermentation produces carbon dioxide (carbonic gas) and spirit of wine, saying that it is "more appropriately called by the Arabic word alcohol since it is formed from cider or fermented sugar as well as wine", and pub. the first chemical equation "grape must = carbonic acid + alcohol", calling it "one of the most extraordinary in chemistry", adding: "In these experiments, we have to assume that there is a true balance or equation between the elements of the compounds with which we start and those obtained at the end of the reaction." In 1790 he pub. Table of 31 Chemical Elements, founding modern chemistry with the first quantitive chemical experiments, rejecting the phlogiston theory after meticulously burning things and measuring all the byproducts and proving that matter is conserved, considering heat (caloric) and light to be elements and counting the role of oxygen and hydrogen, the components of water, naming both; "Nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed." In 1790 he is appointed to a committee that develops the Metric System. Too bad, he pisses-off aspiring scientist Jean-Paul Marat, who later pays him back by circulating a denouncement that gets him a free French close shave.

In 1790 French physician-chemist Jean-Antoine Chaptal (1756-1832) pub. Elements of Chemistry (3 vols.) (Montpellier), which coins the term "nitrogen". In 1806 he pub. La Chimie Appliquee aux Arts, which revolutionizes wine-making in France, describing the Chaptalization process of adding sugar to increase final alcohol content.

In 1790 French surgeon-chemist Nicolas Leblanc (1742-1806) develops a process for producing sodium carbonate (alkali) (used to make lye) from common table salt using sulfuric acid, carbon, and calcium carbonate, paving the way for industrial soap manufacture, but it takes until the end of the 19th cent. for manufactured soap to become popular and have a global market.

In 1790 William Nicholson of England patents the Rotary Press, but fails to build a prototype.

Welcome to the next round? A classic case of what goes around comes around? The pen is mightiless against the sword? On Mar. 20-25, 1792 the Legislative Assembly in Paris sticks its neck out and approves the use of the centuries-old "painless" Guillotine, named after physician (Freemason) Joseph-Ignace Guillotin (1738-1814), who recommends it as a humane form of execution, as well as a way of eliminating the class distinction of hanging commoners while beheading nobles, who are expected to go to their deaths without displaying emotions unless they're women; on Apr. 4 the first guillotine is installed in the Place de Greve in Paris; on Apr. 25 highwayman Jacques Nicolas Pelletier becomes the first person executed by the new "feminine" form of execution; in Aug. a giant guillotine is erected in the Place de Carrousel in the center of Paris, whose blade makes a noise like thunder when it falls, designed by German harpsichord maker Tobias Schmidt, who was working with Metz-born king's surgeon Antoine Louis (1723-92) (secy. of the surgical academy), and main executioner (since 1754) Charles Henri Sanson (1739-1806) (4th hereditary executioner in the family since 1688); Schmidt turns the blade o a 45-deg. angle and changes it from round to you know what, and it is weighted by a pulley system as it travels down two 14-ft. upright greased wooden planks, all of which are reached by a 24-step platform; in 1890 asst. executioner Leon Burger adds refinements; the machine is set up also at the Place de la Revolution, Place St. Antoine, and Barriere (Barrière) Ranverse; it is originally called "La Veuve" (window), and after Louis XVI's execution "La Louison", then after Marie Antoinett'e execution "La Louisette", and not called guillotine until after 1800; 15K heads roll by 1799, out of 40K total killed during the Terror, 70%-80% of them commoners; tricoteuses sometimes sit near the base of the scaffold knitting stockings for soldiers - well, shiver me carotids?

In 1792 French mathematician Baron Gaspard Clair Francois Marie Riche de Prony (1755-1839) begins calculating log and trig tables to 14-29 decimal place accuracy - why didn't he invent the computer first?

In 1793 while visiting from New Haven, Conn., Am. nailmaker Eli Whitney (1765-1825) invents the little ole Cotton Gin (which combs out them pesky seeds) at Nathaniel Greene's Mulberry Cove Plantation near Savannah, Ga., applies for a patent on June 20, and is granted one on Mar. 14, 1794, but it is so easily pirated that he never gets paid much; 800K+ black slaves are imported to the cotton-producing regions in the U.S. South between this year and 1860, and cotton becomes the South's leading crop, with Savannah the chief cotton port.

Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on? In 1793 English-born Am. Rev. War hero Thomas "Tom" Paine (1737-1809) pub. The Age of Reason, Pt. 1, which was written just before being thrown into prison in France, pub. with the help of his friend Joel Barlow; a rabble-rousing Rationalist Deist attacks the divine origin of the Bible, becoming the Infidel's Bible, setting the 19th cent. up for secularism and belief in scientific progress as a replacement religion for Christianity, with pithy soundbytes incl.: "Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man"; "One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests"; "I do not believe in the creed professed... by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church"; "The story of the whale swallowing Jonah... borders greatly on the marvelous, but it would have approached nearer to the idea of a miracle if Jonah had swallowed the whale"; "It is wrong to say that God made rich and poor; he made only male and female, and gave them the whole earth for their inheritance"; he gets widely accused of being an atheist, when actually he attacks atheism in the book and supports Deism, but the bigoted religious reaction (which incl. most of his old Am. friends, incl. Washington) causes his place in the pantheon of Am. Founding Fathers to get tainted, and later the infidels strike back by attempting to paint all the U.S. Founding Fathers (incl. Bible-thumping Washington) as Deists and overdo separation of church and state? - was Paine their "rabbit", writing what they all believed but couldn't openly express, or was he just out on a limb, too extreme but holding onto the Founding Father main trunk for support?

In 1794 17-y.-o. Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), a language student at Caroline College in Brunswick, Germany gets interested in math and takes up the classical problem of constructing regular n-gons, proving that it can't be done when n is a prime number except for 17, 65, 257 and 65,537, causing him to switch next year to the U. of Gottingen, submitting a doctoral thesis in 1798 proving the Fundamental Theorem of Algebra (every possible algebraic equation has a solution), going on to become the Princeps Mathematicorum, the #1 mathematician in da whole wide world - I can win that race?

In 1794 after losing fortune last year in the French Rev., French mathematician Adrien-Marie Legendre (1752-1833) pub. Elements de Geometrie, which becomes a std. textbook for the next 100 years. In 1798 he conjectures the Prime Number Theorem, which isn't proved by Jacques Hadamard and Charles Jean de la Vallee-Poussin until 1896. In 1806 he pub. The Path of Comets, containing the first pub. of the Least-Squares Method, developed by Carl Gauss. In 1811 he discovers and names the Gamma Function. In 1830 he proves Fermat's Last Theorem for the exponent n=5. He goes on to conjecture the Quadratic Reciprocity Law (later proved by Gauss), and discover the Legendre transformation and Legendre polynomials.

In Apr. 1796 French naturalist Jean Leopold Nicolas Frederic Georges Cuvier (1769-1832) gives the lecture Mémoires sur les espèces d'éléphants vivants et fossiles at the Nat. Inst. (pub. in 1800), comparing skeletons of Indian and African elephants, and mastodons ("the Ohio animal"), which he concludes are all different species, the latter extinct; in 1806 he coins the name "mastodon"; he also describes a large skeleton found in Paraguay, which he names the Megatherium, claiming it is an extinct variety of the tree-dwelling sloth, ending the debate about whether extinction has actually happened, and founding Comparative Anatomy and Paleontology. In 1798 he pub. Tableau élémentaire de l'histoire naturelle des animaux, becoming the first attempt at systematic classification of the animal kingdom, founding modern Zoology (Comparative Anatomy), stressing how the parts of an organism are correlated to the functioning whole. In 1812 he pub. Recherches sur les Ossements Fossiles de Quadrupedes (Researches on Quadruped Fossil Bones), issuing his "rash dictum" that it is unlikely that any large animal remained undiscovered. In 1813 he pub. Essay on the Theory of the Earth, which advances the theory of catastrophism in geology, claiming that new species were created after periodic catastrophic floods after establishing the fact of past extinction. In 1817 he pub. Le Règne Animal (The Animal Kingdom) (4 vols.), his magnum opus, a summation of his life's work on comparative anatomy, containing apparent support for evolutionary change for the extinct mammoths et al., making a fan of Charles Darwin, although Cuvier rejects the idea of evolution.

On May 14, 1796 English physician Edward Jenner (1749-1823) introduces smallpox vaccination to a needy world, inoculating 8-y.-o. James Phipps (1788-1853) with material from a cowpox pustule from the hands of milkmaid Sarah Nelmes, who caught cowpox from the cow Blossom, whose hide is preserved at the St. George Medical School; Jenner goes on to save more people than Jesus?

In 1796 Lithography, a technique of printing based on the fact that oil and water do not mix is invented by German playwright Alois (Aloys) Senefelder (1771-1834) in Prague; the age of colored printing and colorful magazines is around the corner.

In 1797 German astronomer Heinrich Wilhelm Matthias Olbers (1758-1840) pub. his method for calculating comet orbits.

In 1797 French chemist Louis Nicolas Vauquelin (1763-1829) discovers the metallic element chromium (Cr) (#24), named after the colorful flames made by its compounds.

In 1797 the duck-billed platypus is discovered near Sydney, Australia.

In 1797 Nathaniel Briggs of N.H. patents the first "clothes washing" machine - named George?

In 1797 Janet Keiller of Dundee, Scotland invents orange marmalade after a Spanish ship carrying Seville oranges takes refuge in the harbor and they get a little unfresh and have to be unloaded quick, causing Dundee to become known as the city of jute, jam, and journalism.

In 1797 Charles Newbold of Burlington, N.J. patents the cast-iron plow.

In 1797 Etienne-Gaspard Robert of France invents the Phantasmagoria (Gr. "fantasma" + "agora" = ghost + public meeting place), a machine for projecting moving images; too bad, after he begins showing victims of the Reign of Terror, the police shut him down.

In 1798 Westcott, Surrey, England-born cleric Thomas Robert Malthus (1766-1834) pub. An Essay on the Principle of Population (June); pub. under the alias Joseph Johnson; 2nd ed. 1803; 6th ed. 1826; a response to William Godwin's view of the "perfectibility of society" in "Political Justice" (1793), dissing the English Poor Laws and supporting the Corn Laws (taxes on grain imports), claiming that the pop. can double in 25 years, causing the food supply to run out in two generations, and proposes Malthus' Iron Law of Pop. (Wages), that "Food is necessary to the existence of man", "The passion between the sexes is necessary and will remain nearly in its present stage", thus the "power of population is infinitely greater than the power in the Earth to produce subsistence for man"; "The mighty law of self-preservation expels all the softer and more exalted emotions of the soul... In so short a period as withing fifty years, violence, oppression, falsehood, misery, every hateful vice, and every form of distress, which degrade and sadden the present state of society, seem to have been generated by the most imperious circumstances, by laws inherent in the nature of man, and absolutely independent of its human regulations"; as a corollary, a rising pop. causes a rising labor supply, leading to lower wages, causing passage of the British Census Act of 1800; despite its uncorked exponential scientific assumptions, it gets used to justify war as a way to keep the non-white (or less-white) pop. down for the common good of whites (or more-whites) everywhere.

In 1798 Am.-born British physicist Sir Benjamin Thompson, Count Rumford (1753-1814) pub. An Enquiry Concerning the Source of Heat which is Excited by Friction, which shows that in the boring of brass cannon there is a direct connection between the heat generated and the mechanical work done, proving that heat is not a material substance; too bad, he calculates a value for the mechanical equivalent of heat that is too high.

In 1799 English scientist Sir Humphry Davy (1778-1829) proves that two pieces of ice rubbed together will melt without the addition of any heat, disproving the Caloric Theory of Heat; on Dec. 26 he becomes the first to describe the mental effects of Laughing Gas (nitrous oxide); "I existed in a world of new-connected and newly modified ideas." In 1808 he uses electrolysis to isolate chemical elements Barium (#56) (Ba) (as an amalgam only - the pure metal is not isolated until 1901) and Strontium (#38) (Sr). In 1811 he discovers colorless poisonous heavy gas Phosgene (carbonyl chloride).

In 1799 Italian physicist-chemist Alessandro Giuseppe Antonio Anastasio Volta (1745-1827) makes the shocking discovery of the Voltaic Pile, reporting it to the British Royal Society next year; the first one is made of zinc and copper metal plates and wet cardboard soaked in salt solution, and he later substitutes silver for copper and cloth for cardboard to build bigger piles from which he can draw sparks and shocks, amazing the world and causing a sensation; in May W. Nicholson and A. Carlile use a voltaic pile to decompose water, observing oxygen appearing at one pile and hydrogen at the other, adding to the sensationalism with the idea that atoms are held together by electricity - and hence immortality is just around the corner? In 1818 London-born Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797-1851) pub. the Gothic romance novel Frankenstein, about a mad scientist who makes a corpse live again via electricity; she got the idea while in a trance based on the writings of alchemists about creating a homunculus in a test tube, "a pale student of the unhallowed arts [grave-robbing] kneeling beside the thing he had put together"; "I beheld the wrath of the miserable monster whom I had created"; "I curse (although I curse myself) the hands that formed you" - could it have really been based on her hubby Percy's anatomy?

About 1800 French surgeon Bernard Peyrilhe (1737-1804) becomes the first to experimentally transmit cancer to an animal by injecting breast cancer cells, claiming that breast cancer is spread via the lymphatics, and advocating total mastetctomy incl. the auxiliary lymph nodes the pectoralis major muscle.

In 1800 World Economic Growth jumps from 0% to 2% per annum for the first time in known history, making the modern world possible?

In 1800 German physician Franz Joseph (Josef) Gall (1758-1828) develops cranioscopy, the measurement of the skull, which is later renamed Phrenology by his student Johann Spurzheim (1776-1832), who also demonstrates the fibrous structure of the brain; too bad, phrenologists go too far and claim to know all about a person from the bumps on their noggin.

In 1800 German-born English astronomer Sir Frederick William Herschel (1738-1822) discovers Infrared Light (beyond the red end of the spectrum) using prisms and thermometers on solar rays; he also discovers a connection between 11-year sunspot cycles and wheat prices, becoming the first theory of economic cycles.

In 1800 German (Prussian) polymath geographer-explorer Baron Friedrich Wilhelm Heinrich Alexander von Humboldt (1769-1859) after launching an exploration of South Am. in 1799 (ends 1804) proposes that South Am. had once been joined with Africa, becoming the first person to describe anthropogenic climate change - just look how Brazil fits into the Gulf of Guinea? In 1802 he discovers and explores the cold sluggish low-salinity Humboldt (Peru) Current running along the Pacific coast of South Am. toward the equator, extending 300-600 mi. off the coast (500M cu. ft. per sec). In 1845-52 he pub. Kosmos (Cosmos) (5 vols.), a bestseller retracing the history of science and showing its Greek origins, claiming that contemplation of the beauty of the Cosmos holistically viewed as a single entity gives one a superior outlook on life; too bad, he taints it with Romanticism?; "It was the discovery of America that planted the seed of the Cosmos."

About 1800 Henry Maudslay (1771-1831) of England, apprentice of Joseph Braham invents the slide rest for the metal lathe to manufacture std. screw thread sizes, allowing interchangeable parts and mass production, becoming known as "the Father of Machine Tool Technology".

On Feb. 22, 1800 the first light-pressure steam engine railway locomotive, built by Cornwall-born Richard Trevithick (1771-1833) is test-driven in Wales; in 1801 he builds the first high-pressure road locomotive.

In 1800 English Liberal statesman-scientist Charles Stanhope, 3rd Earl Stanhope (1753-1816) develops the first all-iron printing press.

In 1800 Am. inventor Robert Fulton (1765-1815) builds the steam-powered metal-clad submarine Nautilus, and tests a 20-ft. model of it on the Seine at Brest, making two 20-min. dives himself, becoming the first practical submarine; in 1803 after trying to sell his metal-clad steam-power submarine to Napoleon, he invents the Side-Paddle Steamboat. In 1814 his 38-ton USS Fulton becomes the first steam-powered warship.

In the first decade of the 19th cent. Science makes great leaps in the concepts of Thematic Cartography, Statistical Graphing, and Data Visualization; coordinate paper is first used in pub. research (graph of barometric variations) by English industrial chemist Luke Howard (1772-1864), who makes comprehensive recordings of London weather in 1801-41. In 1801 the first Pie Chart and Circle Graph are pub. in London in "Statistical Breviary" by Scottish engineer-economist William Playfair (1759-1823), who in 1786 pub. "The Commercial and Political Atlas" in London, containing the first Bar Chart. In 1801 William "Strata" Smith (1769-1839) of England pub. "the map that changed the world", the first Geological Map (of England), founding the science of Stratigraphic Geology (Stratigraphy); too bad, the establishment ignores him, his work is plagiarized, and he ends up in debtors' prison.

In 1801 French physician Xavier Marie-Francois Bichat (1771-1802) pub. Anatomie General, which introduces the term "tissues" (textures of the body with unique vital properties), and describes 21 types, founding the science of Histology.

In 1801 German astronomer Johann Elert Bode (1747-1826) pub. Uranographia, a catalog of 17,240 stars, beating the previous charts by 12K stars, with elaborate artistic representations of the constellations, which go out of fashion with astronomers after this.

On Jan. 1, 1801 Italian Theatine monk-astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi (1746-1826) discovers the first asteroid, Ceres, and German rising star mathematician Carl (Karl) Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855) computes its orbit using his new Gauss Least-Squares Method, which allows it to be found even after it goes invisible and emerges among a multitude of stars, causing him to be appointed dir. of the Gottingen Observatory for life in 1807, going on to become the greatest mathematician since antiquity - while juggling sausages? In 1801 Gauss pub. Disquisitiones Arithmeticae, which founds the mathematical field of Number Theory, incl. the theory of congruences, quadratic forms, and quadratic residues.

In 1801 German chemist Johann Wilhelm Ritter (1776-1810) and English chemist-physicist William Hyde Wollaston (1766-1828) independently discover Ultraviolet Light - now the nightclubs will rock?

In 1802 blind epileptic Kendal, Westmorland, England-born Quaker naturalist John Gough (pr. like gof) (Gow) (1757-1825), who touches plants to his lip and tongue to identify them pub. "An investigation of the method whereby men judge by the ear of the position of sonorous bodies relative to their own persons", describing echolocation; in 1804 he first pub. the elastocaloric effect after quickly stretching a piece of natural rubber (Caoutchouc) and feeling its sudden warmth on his lip, making a fan of James Joule, who undertakes more experiments, discovering that stretched rubber contracts when heated, causing the Gough-Joule Effect to be named; he goes on to discover hydrosere sucession whereby freshwater lakes dry out and become land, and to describe seed banks in soils.

In 1802 English chemist Luke Howard (1772-1864) pub. Essay on the Modification of Clouds, containing the first scientific definition of cloud types, incl. cumulus (puffy popcorn), stratus (formless), and cirrus (ice crystal), plus modifications incl. cirrostratus, stratocumulus, and cumulonimbus, becoming the father of the science of Meteorology.

In 1802 French naturalist Jean-Baptiste Pierre Antoine de Monet, Chevalier de Lamarck (1744-1829) pub. Hydrogeologie, coining the term "biology", and claiming that continents march steadily westward; he also pub. Recherches sur l'Organisation des Corps Vivans, proposing the theory of evolution, but without describing a mechanism. In 1802 German naturalist Gottfried Reinhold Treviranus (1776-1837) pub. Biologie: Oder die Philosophie der Lebenden Natur, independently coining the term "biology", and proposing the transmutation of species - God holds it remarkably up his anus?

In 1802 Jean d'Aubuisson de Voisins (1762-1841) and Christian Leopold von Buch (1774-1853), students of German geologist Abraham Gottlob Werner (1749-1817) reject their teacher's Neptunism (oceanic origin of rocks) in favor of the volcanic origin of basalt - you can't always give your kids what they love, but with Werner you can?

In 1802 the silver-white hydrogen-absorbing metallic element Palladium (Pd) (#46) (which is later alloyed with gold to make white gold) is discovered by English chemist-physicist William Hyde Wollaston (1766-1828), followed in 1804 by the the metallic element Rhodium (Rh) (#45), useful in strengthening platinum.

In 1802 English physicist Thomas Young (1773-1829) proposes the Wave Theory of Light in his Royal Society paper On the Theory of Light and Colours. In 1805 he first describes Surface Tension as a hypothetical membrane of infinitesimal thickness stretched over the surface. In 1807 he coins the term "energy", from Gr. "work within".

In 1802 English chemist Thomas Wedgwood (1771-1805), son of Josiah Wedgwood makes the first photograph using paper coated with silver nitrate, causing his acquaintance Humphry Davy to pub. a paper on it, after which the search for a fixing agent begins - send us your pictures? In 1835 English physicist William Henry Fox Talbot (1800-77) takes the earliest known negative photograph using paper coated with silver chloride in a camera obscura, Lacock Abbey, Wiltshire, and later claims to have invented photography ahead of Daguerre; he later waxes the negative, places it over another coated paper, and exposes it to sunlight to produce a positive image, becoming the first to produce multiple copies from one negative, and the first to make paper photographs ("negative positives"), which develops into modern photography, while Daguerrotypes prove to be a dead end? In 1837 French painter Louis Jacques Mande (Mandé) Daguerre (1789-1851) invents the "miraculous" reduced exposure time Daguerreotype process of photography using a silver iodide coating on copper plates, developed with mercury fumes and washed with a salt solution to prevent darkening; he doesn't present it to the public until 1839. On Jan. 7, 1839 after partnering with Nicephore Niepce in 1829, Daguerre gives his first public demonstration of his new photographic process, and it becomes an instant hit, launching "daguerréotypomanie"; "An hour later, all the opticians' shops were seiged, but could not rake together enough instruments to satisfy the onrushing army of would-be daguerreotypists; a few days later you could see in all the squares of Paris three-legged dark-boxes planted in front of churches and palaces." (Helmut Gernsheim); on Feb. 23 the earliest report of the Daguerrotype in the U.S. appears in the Boston Daily Advertiser, which calls it a "remarkable invention"; in Sept. Robert Cornelius of Philadelphia learns the process and begins making improvements; at least two dozen men from Norway to Brazil step forward to claim precedence over Daguerre?

On Jan. 1, 1803 English chemist William Henry (1774-1835) pub. the paper Experiments on the Quantity of Gases Absorbed by Water, at Different Temperatures, and under Different Pressures, proposing Henry's Law, which states that the amount of dissolved gas is proportional to its partial pressure in the gas phase, with the soundbyte: "Water takes up, of gas condensed by one, two, or more additional atmospheres, a quantity which, ordinarily compressed, would be equal to twice, thrice, &c., the volume absorbed under the common pressure of the atmosphere."

In 1803 Swedish chemist Baron Jons Jacob (Jöns Jakob) Berzelius (1779-1848) discovers the metallic element Cerium (Ce) (#58), the most abundant of the rare-earth group, named after the asteroid Ceres; the cerium metal group incl. #57 to #63 (lanthanum, cerium, praseodymium, neodymium, promethium, samarium, europium). In 1814 after proposing in 1812 that all chemical combinations are caused by electrostatic attractions, he pub. Theory of Chemical Proportions and the Chemical Action of Electricity, a dualistic electrochemical theory to account for electrolysis and chemical combination; it suggests using letters as abbreviations for the elements in chemical formulas, e.g., H2O. In 1835 he coins the term "catalysis", with the soundbyte "Catalysts are substances which by their mere presence evoke chemical reactions that would not otherwise take place."

In 1803 French engineer Lazare Carnot (1753-1823) pub. Principes Fondamentaux de l'Equilibre et du Mouvement, which first points out the energy of position in a gravitational field (potential energy) as separate from energy of motion (kinetic energy).

The biggest scientific advance since ancient Greek times, and it takes a colorblind weather watcher? In 1803 colorblind English scientist John Dalton (1766-1844) proposes the modern Quantitative Atomic Theory of Matter, that it is composed of atoms of different weights that combine according to regular laws - it's like magic, good night Snow White?

In 1802 the silver-white hydrogen-absorbing metallic element Palladium (Pd) (#46) (which is later alloyed with gold to make white gold) is discovered by English chemist-physicist William Hyde Wollaston (1766-1828), followed in 1804 by the the metallic element Rhodium (Rh) (#45), useful in strengthening platinum.

In 1803 English chemist Smithson Tennant (1761-1815) discovers the rare (#61) metallic elements Osmium (Os) (#76) and Oridium (Ir) (#77) in platinum ores; the specific gravity of Ir (22.4) is exceeded only by Os (24), which is the most dense known substance; they are later used in the alloy osmiridium to strengthen platinum.

In 1803 the Shrapnel Shell, invented by British royal artillery lt. (later lt.-gen.) Henry Shrapnel (1761-1842) of England is adopted by the British army - when the fog rolls I keep seeing terrible things happening?

In 1804 English coachmaker Obadiah Elliott of Lambeth patents an Elliptical Spring Suspension for 4-wheeled carriages, doing away with the heavy pole and are-ya-having-any-fun sore butts, and initiating modern carriage design, incl. the Phaeton (an open 4-wheeled carriage that is the first status symbol, coming in Highflyer and low styles); the closed Brougham, named after lord chancellor Lord Brougham, projecting a moralistic mood; the Cabriolet (a 2-wheeled 2-seat sports car preferred by bachelors); the low, elegant roomy open Victoria (popular with Victorian ladies); the "sociable" Landau, which seats four passengers facing each other; the Barouche, a landau with a folding hood for the wealthy; the 1-horse Gig, a favorite with country doctors, carrying 1-2 passengers directly over its two wheels (the VW of the Victorian era); the closed Post Chaise (flying chariot) (used as limos, painted yellow with an elderly postboy dressed in a yellow jacket and beaver hat); the Omnibus; the Dog Cart, with a fold-up footboard doubling as a seat, allowing four passengers to sit back to back; the Wagonette, with bench seats (called char-a-banc in France); the 2-wheeled 1-horse very handsome Hansom Cab ("the gondola of London"), where the driver rides behind the passenger compartment standing up, used as taxis, patented in 1834 by English (York) architect Joseph Aloysius Hansom (1803-82).

In 1805 County Meath, Ireland-born hydrographer and British rear adm. Sir Francis Beaufort (1774-1857) devises the Blowfart, er, Beaufort Wind Scale (0-12) for gauging wind force at sea: 0:0-1 mph (calm), 1:2-3 (light air), 2:4-7 (slight breeze), 3:8-12 (gentle breeze), 4:13-18 (moderate breeze), 5:19-24 (fresh breeze), 6:25-31 (strong breeze), 7:32-38 (moderate gale), 8:39-46 (fresh gale), 9:47-54 (strong gale), 10:55-63 (whole gale), 11:64-72 (storm), 12:73-82 (hurricane).

In 1805 Jean Chancel of Paris, France invents the first Match, tipped with sugar, sulfur, rubber, and potassium chlorate, which ignites after being dipped in a bottle of concentrated sulfuric acid.

In 1805 Oliver Evans (1755-1819) invents the steam-powered dredge called the Oruktor Amphibolos (Amphibious Digger), becoming the first amphibious vehicle; he also designs a vapor-driven refrigeration machine, which he never builds.

In 1806 German scientist Freiherr Christian Johann Dietrich Theodor von Grotthuss (1785-1822) pub. the Grotthuss Mechanism, the first theory of electrolysis, to the effect that an "excess" proton can diffuse through the hydrogen bond network of water molecules, with the oxygen atoms passing them in a "bucket line".

In 1806 German pharmacist Friedrich Wilhelm Adam Serturner (Sertürner) (1783-1841) isolates the bitter white crystalline alkaloid Morphine (the first known alkaloid, and first plant drug to be isolated), the active ingredient in Opium from the poppy, and tries it on himself, later writing, "Lying down, I got into a dreamy state"; it is initially marketed as a cure for opium addiction?

In 1806 French chemists Nicolas Louis Vaquelin and Pierre-Jean Robiquet (1780-1840) determine the chemical structure of asparagine (derived from asparagus), becoming the first amino acid to be analyzed.

In 1808 French Sorbonne prof. of physics (1808-32) Joseph Louis Gay-Lussac (1778-1850) and Baron Louis-Jacques Thenard (Thénard) (1777-1857) isolate hard nonmetallic element Boron (#5) (B); Gay-Lussac measures the relative volume of gases involved in chemical reactions, and next year formulates Gay-Lussac's Law of Combining Volumes, that the ratios of the volumes of reacting gases are small whole numbers; it is independently discovered by Jacques Charles - also true for gay-lez ass gasses?

In 1808 German physician Johann Christian Reil (1759-1813) coins the term "psychiatry" (Gr. "psyche" + "iatros" = mind/soul + healer).

In 1809 Irish-born Robert Adrain (1775-1843) of Princeton U. and Carl (Karl) Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855) of Germany independently pub. the Method of Least Squares.

In 1809 Am. surgeon Ephraim McDowell (1771-1830) performs an ovariotomy, becoming the first successful surgery of the abdominal cavity.

In 1809 French scientist Etienne-Louis Malus (1775-1812) pub. his discovery of the polarization of light by reflection; in 1810 he pub. his theory of double refraction of light in crystals.

In 1810 German inventor (in London) Friedrich Gottlob Koenig (1774-1833) patents a high-speed steam-powered printing press that prints on both sides of the paper; on Nov. 29, 184 the London Times begins to be printed on Koenig's steam-operated press, increasing the speed of printing by 5x.

In 1811 Turin-born Italian scientist Count Lorenzo Romano Amedeo Carlo Avogadro (1776-1856) proposes Avogadro's Principle (Law), that equal volumes of gases contain equal numbers of molecules (not atoms) at a given temperature and pressure; his ideas are neglected until 1858?

In 1811 French chemist-physicist Pierre Louis Dulong (1785-1838) discovers the double decomposition of salts. In 1812 he discovers sensitive unstable nitrogen trichloride, losing two fingers and an eye. In 1817 he discovers the oxides of phosphorus. In 1819 Dulong and French physicist Alexis Therese (Thérèse) Petit (1791-1820) of France pub. the Law of Dulong-Petit, that the heat capacity of a mole of a solid element is about 3R, where R is the universal gas constant, i.e., that relative atomic weight is inversely proportional to specific heat, i.e., that approximately the same amount of heat is required to accomplish a particular rise in temperature of the same number of atoms of any metal, making possible the experimental determination of atomic weight - du long and winding road to specific petit?

In 1812 Am. naturalist John James Audubon (1785-1851) makes his famous breakthrough Drawing of a Whippoorwill in Flight.

In 1814 Bavarian optician Joseph von Fraunhofer (1787-1826), after deciding that he can make better optical glasses if he can define the colors in light more accurately improves on Isaac Newton's old prism-slit-lens apparatus by adding a theodolite telescope behind the prism, not only confirming William Wollaston's 1802 observation of a dark line spectrum in sunlight, but discovering 700 different weak and strong vertical dark Fraunhofer Lines in the spectrum, launching the science of Spectroscopy; use of the lines provides the first precise measure of dispersion in optical glasses.

In 1814 the first practical steam locomotive is built by George Stephenson (1781-1848) at Killingworth Colliery near Newcastle, England. On Sept. 27, 1825 his Stockton and Darlington Railroad, the world's first steam-powered railroad carrying public cargo begins operation in England; it begins carrying fare-carrying passengers in 1833.

In 1815 French physicist Augustin Jean Fresnel (1788-1827) pub. researches on the diffraction of light (Fresnel Lines), interference, polarization, and double refaction, ultimately establishing the Transverse Wave Theory of Light (1815-21). In 1822 he invents the lighthouse reflecting lens.

In 1815 English physician-chemist William Prout (1785-1850) anon. pub. the paper "On the Relation Between the Specific Gravities of Bodies in their Gaseous States and the Weights of their Atoms", proposing Prout's Hypothesis, a relation between specific gravity and atomic weight, suggesting that atoms of all elements are aggregates of hydrogen atoms. In 1823 he discovers that stomach juices contain hydrochloric acid, and separates it by distillation; in 1827 he proposes dividing the chemical components of food into sugars and starches (carbohydrates), lipids (fats), and albuminoids (proteins).

In 1815 English chemist Humphry Davy (1778-1829) and English engineer George Stephenson (1781-1848) develop the oil-burning Miner's Safety Arc Lamp, using a gauze cylinder.

In 1815 British road surveyor John Loudon McAdam (1756-1836) invents a method for improving roads by elevating the roadbed and using small stones to keep it dry - why didn't I think of that?

In 1816 German philologist Franz Bopp (1791-1867) pub. About the System of Conjugations of the Sanskrit Language in Comparison with Greek, Latin, Persian and Germanic, which links Sanksrit with Greek, Latin, Old Persian, and Teutonic languages via verb inflections, founding the science of Comparative Philology; the expansive myth of the white-is-right Aryans is born.

In 1816 Sir Marc Isambard Brunel (1769-1849) patents the Tricoteur, a circular stocking knitting frame, which improves Jedediah Strutt's 1758 ribbing apparatus.

In 1816 Scottish physicist Sir David Brewster (1781-1868) invents the Kaleidoscope.

In 1816 Parisian pharmacist Jean Francois Derosne invents the Phosphorus Match.

In 1816 French physician Rene Theophile Hyacinthe Laennec (1781-1826) (with help from wife Hyacinthe Laennec) invents the Stethoscope to protect the modesty of his female patients - he likes to wear it around his laennec? Imagine the way they did it before?

In 1816 Scottish minister Robert Stirling (1790-1878) patents the Stirling Steam Engine, using a "gas spring" system to control the phase relationship between the movements of the displacer and piston.

In 1816 Auguste Taveau of Paris develops the first dental amalgam from silver coins mixed with mercury.

In 1817 after establishing the first theory of electrolysis n 1806, Leipzig, Germany-born chemist Baron Christian Johann Dietrich Theodor von Grotthuss (1785-1822) pub. the Principle of Photochemical Activation, that only the light absorbed by a substance is used in producing a photochemical change (such as a photograph); after nobody listens, English-born Am. scientist John William Draper (1811-82) pub. it in 1842, causing it to be called the Grotthuss-Draper Law.

On June 12, 1817 Karlsruhe-born German forest official Karl Freiherr von Drais (Karl Friedrich Christian Ludwig Freiheirr Drais von Sauerbronn) (1785-1851) demonstrates the ballbreaker Draisienne (AKA Laufmaschine, Draisine, Dandy Horse) in Mannheim, a 2-wheeled bicycle sans pedals that you walk on, becoming the first 2-wheeler vehicle, archetype of the bicycle; too bad, after it catches on and riders begin using the sidewalks and harassing pedestrians, it is banned in Germany, England, U.S., and Calcutta. In 1839 the Velocipede, a Draisienne with pedals on the rear wheels (first true bicycle) is invented by Scottish blacksmith Kirkpatrick Macmillan (1810-78). On Nov. 20, 1866 French mechanic Pierre Lallement (1843-91) is awarded the first U.S. patent on a pedal bicycle.

In 1818 English scholar William Buckland obtains a large lower jaw fossil containing sharp teeth, and in 1824 gives it the name Megalosaurus (great lizard), becoming the first dinosaur to be scientifically named. In 1825 English physician-paleontologist Gideon Algernon Mantell (1790-1852) pub. a paper describing Iguanadon (Iguana tooth) from fossils of teeth discovered in 1822 by his wife Mary Ann Mantell in Sussex, England, becoming the 2nd dinosaur to be named; English zoologist Sir Richard Owen (1804-92) claims he's full of it, and that they are mammalian teeth, but in 1841 after more finds he accepts it and coins the term "dinosaur" (Gr. "fearfully great or terrible lizard").

In 1819 London physician John Bostock becomes the first to describe hay fever, which he personally suffers from, attributing its cause to freshly cut hay; he claims he can find only a few other sufferers in England.

In 1819 German chemist Eilhard Mitscherlich (1794-1863) pub. his law of isomorphism, that compounds crystallizing together probably have similar structures and compositions.

In 1819 Danish physicist Hans Christian Oersted (1777-1851) discovers electromagnetism, the relation between electricity and magnetism - no fairy tale?

In 1819 after discovering the pupil dilating qualities of belladonna to his friend Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), German chemist Friedrich Ferdinand Runge (1795-1867) takes his advice and analyzes coffee, discovering caffeine - I'm glad he didn't call it rungine? The optical phenomenon known as Parry's Arc is discovered by the English expedition led by Sir William Edward Perry (1819-21). Joseph Pelletier and Joseph Bienaime Caventou isolate brucine from Nux vomica.

On Dec. 4, 1819 Sir William Congreve of Britain patents the colored watermark, consisting of a triple paper; too bad, the Bank of Resistance fails to adoopt it because of resistance from the Portals Co. that manufactured its currency paper since 1725.

In 1819 the first soda fountain patent is granted to Samuel Fahnestock.

In 1819 Augustin Jean Fresnel invents the dioptric system for lighthouses.

In 1819 David Napier invents the flat-bed cylinder printing press.

In 1819 Anglo-German inventor Augustus Siebe (1788-1872) invents an open diving suit consisting of a leather jacket and metal helmet fitted with forced air hoses that keep the water below the diver's chin.

In 1820 Dutch physicist Hans Christian Oersted (1777-1851) discovers that an electric current in a wire deflects a compass needle, the direction depending on the direction of current flow, thus discovering electromagnetism; French physicist Andre-Marie Ampere (André-Marie Ampère) (1775-1836) repeats his experiments and discovers that two current-carrying wires exert a reciprocal action upon each other, and pub. Ampere's Law. In 1824 Ampere invents the Galvanometer.

The original A Star is Born? In 1821 English physicist Michael Faraday (1791-1867) turns the "magnetic needle being deflected by an electric current" experiment on its head and discovers the electric motor principle (electromagnetic rotation) ("electrified wire being moved by a magnet"), which unlocks the entire field of electromagnetism in physics, launching the Great (New) Rev. in Physics; his celeb boss Sir Humphry Davy gets jealous and tries to keep him from being elected to the Royal Academy, claiming that he stole the work of William Austin, but when Austin vindicates Faraday, the science is so undeniable he gets in anyway in 1824, and Davy kicks off within five years from self-abuse with laughing gas? In 1831 Faraday discovers Electromagnetic Induction. In 1832 he pub. a pictorial representation of electric and magnetic lines of force, introducing the Field Concept into physics, showing radial instead of straight field lines, rocking the scientific world.

In 1821 French mathematician Baron Augustin-Louis Cauchy (1789-1857) pub. Cours d'Analyse, the first halfway decent correct mathematical definition of limit for Calculus purists, along with the first systematic study of convergence of series, the first theory of functions of a complex variable, and the definition of derivative and integral in terms of limits. In 1823 he rigorously proves the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. He goes on to found complex analysis and the theory of permutation groups in abstract algebra, and pub. 800 articles and five textbooks.

In 1821 Estonian-born German physicist Thomas Johann Seebeck (1770-1831) discovers the Peltier-Seebeck Thermoelectric Effect, where a junction of dissimilar metals produces an electric current when exposed to a temperature gradient, with the voltage produced proportional to the junction temperature difference, and the proportionality constant becoming known as the Seebeck Coefficient. In 1822 he invents the Thermocouple.

In 1822 French mathematician Baron Jean-Baptiste Joseph Fourier (1768-1830) pub. On the Propagation of Heat in Solid Bodies (Theorie Analytique de la Chaleur), his mathematical theory of heat conduction, introducing his hot new Fourier Series, expansions of piecewise continuous functions as trigonometrical series. In Oct. 1824 Fourier pub. the paper Remarques generales sur les Temperatures du globe terrestre et des espaces planetaires (General Remarks on the Temperature of the Terrestrial Globe and the Planetary Space) in Annales de Chimie et de Physique, in which he calculates that the Earth would be far colder if it had no atmosphere, allegedly discovering the Greenhouse Effect (talking about a glass box) and launching climate change science; "In short, if all the strata of air of which the atmosphere is formed, preserved their density with their transparency, and lost only the mobility which is peculiar to them, this mass of air, thus become solid, on being exposed to the rays of the sun, would produce an effect the same in kind with that we have just described. The heat, coming in the state of light to the solid earth, would lose all at once, and almost entirely, its power of passing through transparent solids: it would accumulate in the lower strata of the atmosphere, which would thus acquire very high temperatures. We should observe at the same time a diminution of the degree of acquired heat, as we go from the surface of the earth. The mobility of the air, which is rapidly displaced in every direction, and which rises when heated, and the radiation of non-luminous heat into the air, diminish the intensity of the effects which would take place in a transparent and solid atmosphere, but do not entirely change their character. The decrease of heat in the higher regions of the air does not cease, and the temperature can be augmented by the interposition of the atmosphere, because heat in the state of light finds less resistance in penetrating the air, than in repassing into the air when converted into non-luminous heat."

In 1822 French vivisecting physiologist Francois Magendie (1783-1855) discovers that different spinal roots cause different sensory and motor functions, and gets into a contest with Sir Charles Bell (1774-1842) of Scotland over priority; meanwhile his ghastly vivisection demos cause so much upchucking that anti-vivisectionists finally begin making progress changing the laws.

On Nov. 19, 1822 the Chilean Earthquake of 1822 is experienced by Scottish writer (recent widow) Maria, Lady Callcott (1785-1842), whose description of large land areas rising from the sea is later used by Charles Lyell to support his theory that mountains are formed by volcanoes and earthquakes, and backed up by Charles Darwin when George Greenough tries to ridicule her on sexist lines. In 1830-3 Scottish geologist Sir Charles Lyell (1797-1875) pub. The Principles of Geology, which expounds and expands James Hutton's uniformitarian theory, trashes the Bible-based catastrophist position, and flips the ultimate bird at Jehovah by dividing the geological system into Eocene, Miocene, and Pliocene - plumbing is a mercurial mistress? In July 1837 30-y.-o. Swiss naturalist Louis Jean Rodolphe Agassiz (1807-73) shocks the Swiss Society of Natural Sciences in Neuchatel, abandoning his prepared lecture on Brazilian fossil fish and announcing his new theory that a vast "ocean of ice" had once covered all of Europe and N Asia as far as the Caspian Sea, based on an expedition the previous summer with older friend Jean de Charpentier, where they had found evidence that glaciers move, carrying rocks with them, incl. one incident where Agassiz is lowered into an Alpine glacier too far and almost freezes in meltwater; too bad, the other scientists scoff at any implication that the Biblical Flood doesn't explain all.

The modern Tower of Babel? In 1823 English mathematician Charles Babbage (1791-1871) invents the first working digital calculating machine, the Difference Engine to calculate tables of functions by finite difference methods. In 1833 he invents the Analytical Engine, the first large scale digital calculating machine (computer); he never gathers enough funds to build it; in 1991 it is built according to his specs, and works. In 1842-3 Augusta Ada King, Countess of Lovelace (1815-52), daughter of Lord Byron (1788-1824) tr. a memoir by Italian mathematician Federico Luigi, Count of Menabrea (1809-96) on the Analytical Engine of Charles Babbage, publishing the first known computer program, which calculates Bernoulli numbers; really written by Babbage?

In 1823 21-y.-o. Hungarian mathematician Janos (Johann) Bolyai (1802-60) and 30-y.-o. Russian mathematician Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky (1792-1856) independently discover Non-Euclidean Geometry; the same year French mathematician Adrien-Marie Legendre (1752-1833) comes up with a bogus proof of Euclid's Fifth Postulate, stumbling over the big breakthrough without realizing it? On Oct. 25, 1733 Italian mathematician (Jesuit priest) Giovanni Girolamo Saccheri (b. 1667) dies after pub. Euclid Freed of Every Flaw (Euclides ab Omni Naevo Vindicatus), in which he reveals his discovery of non-Euclidean (hyperbolic) geometry, but doesn't realize it since he is trying to prove Euclid's parallel postulate true by a rudctio ad absurdum proof; 50 years later J.H. Lambert also stumbles over it, and 40 years after that (1823) Bolyai and Lobachevsky finally get the brain man brownie buttons; Saccheri's book also describes the Saccheri (Khayyam-Saccheri) Quadrilateral, which has two equal sides perpendicular to the base.

In 1823 Czech physiologist Jan Evangelista Purkinje (Purkyne) (1787-1869) proposes fingerprints as a means of identification, recognizing nine principal configuration groups. In 1833 he discovers the sweat glands of the skin - purkinjolating the sweat? In 1836 he notes the protein-digesting ability of pancreatic extracts. In 1839 he coins the term "protoplasm" for the fluid substance of a cell, gaining internat. fame.

In Jan. 1823 the first recorded discovery of fossil human remains takes place at Goat's Hole Cave at Paviland on the Gower peninsula of South Wales, the Red Lady of Paviland (actually a man).

In 1824 Norwegian mathematician Niels Henrik Abel (1802-29) proves that the general quintic cannot be solved in radicals - sounds like a comment on Euro society?

In 1824 French physicist Dominique Francois Jean Arago (1786-1853) discovers magnetic pull along with the fact that most bodies can be magnetized, also discovering rotary magnetism AKA Arago's rotations.

He's drunk with power? In 1824 French physicist Nicolas Leonard (Léonard) Sadi Carnot (1796-1832) pub. Reflexions sur la Puissance Motrice du Feu (Reflections on the Motive Power of Fire and on Machines Fitted to Develop That Power), which shows that the transformation of heat into motive power depends on the quantity of heat (caloric) and the temperature difference, while the efficiency of a steam engine is a function of the temperature difference between the hot and cold chambers (source and sink), the "free energy", a preliminary formulation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics; it also introduces the reversible Carnot Cycle and the Carnot heat engine; Carnot considers the Earth's atmosphere to be a giant heat engine, which ends up being ignored in the rush to frame CO2 on being the atmosphere's only heat engine?

On Oct. 21, 1824 Joseph Aspdin (1778-1855) of Britain patents Portland Cement.

In 1824 Charles Macintosh (1766-1843) of Britain produces the first Mackintosh (coat not computer).

In 1825 Antoine Cesar Becquerel (1788-1878) of France invents the Differential Galvanometer for accurate measurement of electrical resistance.

In 1825 English physicist William Sturgeon (1783-1850) of the East India Co. College in Addiscombe, Surrey invents the first practical Electromagnet, a horseshoe-shaped piece of iron wrapped with wire; a 7 oz. horseshoe can lift 9 lbs. with the current from a single battery. In 1832 he invents the first DC Electric Motor with a Commutator.

In 1825 British (Cornish) inventor Sir Goldsworthy Gurney (1793-1875) invents the Oxy-Hydrogen Blowpipe, used for limelights, and the Bude Light, a very bright oil lamp pumped with oxygen, which is used to light the House of Commons for 60 years, along with Pall Mall and Trafalgar Square - so beloved of corned beef hams?

In 1826 German astronomer Heinrich Wilhelm Matthias Olbers (1758-1840) pub. Olbers' Paradox concerning the lack of brightness of the night sky if the Universe is infinite, eternal, and static.

In 1826 Anglican archbishop of Dublin (1831-) Richard Whately (1787-1863) pub. Elements of Logic, which spurs the study of logic in Britain and the U.S., making a fan of Charles Sanders Peirce (1839-1914).

In 1827 London physician Richard Bright (1798-1858) first describes Bright's Disease (nephritis), characterized by albumin in the urine, causing him to become known as "the Father of Nephrology".

Young Guns, or Mathematical Brokeback Mountain? In 1827 Karl Gustav Jacob Jacobi (1804-51) and Niels Henrik Abel (1802-29) independently found the theory of elliptic (doubly periodic) functions.

No Pain No Gain for electrical circuits? In 1827 German physicist Georg Simon Ohm (1789-1854) pub. his famous Simple Simon Ohm's Law, stating that the ratio of electromagnetic force to current in an electrical circuit is a variable, er, constant, i.e. V = I * R (variable electromotive force = variable electric current times constant electrical resistance, independent of current and voltage).

In June 1827 the first successful photograph (which he calls "heliograph") is produced by Joseph Nicephore Niepce (Nicéphore Niépce) (1765-1833) in France; it uses bitumen of Judea coated on pewter plates in a camera obscura facing a window of his estate, imaging a blurry bldg., tree, and barn after eight hours of exposure, becoming the oldest surviving photography of a real-world scene; he produced foggy photographs as early as 1822.

In 1827 English astronomer royal (1835-81) Sir George Biddell Airy (1801-92) invents the astigmatic (cylindrical) lens.

In 1827 French engineer Benoit Fourneyron (1802-67) invents the first practical water turbine, generating 6 hp from two sets of blades curved in opposite directions, winning him a 6K franc prize from the French Society for the Encouragement of Industry, going on to increase horsepower in 1837 to 60 at 2.3K rpm; in 1897 Fourneyron turbines are installed on the U.S. side of Niagara Falls.

In 1827 English-born U.S. engineer John Isaac Hawkins (1772-1854) invents the trifocal lens, along with a polygraph machine, and a mechanical penxil which Thomas Jefferson uses to write tens of thousands of letters; he later invents the upright (portable grand) piano.

In 1827 German Bohemian engineer Josef Ludwig Franz Joseph Ludwig Franz (Josef Ludvik Frantisek) Ressel (1793-1857) patents the screw propeller for ships.

In 1828 German biologist Karl Ernst von Baer (1792-1876) pub. Uber Entwickelungsgeschichte der Theire, claiming that embryonic development is the history of increasing specificity, founding modern comparative embryology.

In 1828 Nicotine is first isolated in pure form by Wilhelm Hienrich Posselt (1806-77) and Karl Ludwig Reimann (1804-72) of Heidelberg, Germany from the leaves of the tobacco plant.

In 1828 German chemist Friedrich Wohler (Wöhler) (1800-82) isolates the pure light gray metal element Beryllium (#4) (Be) (discovered in 1798); he also synthesizes the organic chemical urea from the inorganic chemical ammonium cyanate, founding organic chemistry and dealing a death blow to the vitalistic theory that there is a vital force in living materials which creates an impassible gulf with inorganic ones; too bad, the vitalists get a reprieve when they find that he cheated and got his raw material from bones, and it takes until 1850 to kill vitalism completely; French chemist Antoine Alexandre Brutus Bussy (1794-1882) independently isolates beryllium. In 1832 Wohler and Justus von Liebig (1803-73) pub. a collaborative study of oil of bitter almonds (benzaldehyde), establishing the existence of organic radicals.

In 1828 Scottish inventor William Nicol (1768-1851) invents the Nicol Prism, useful for obtaining polarized light.

In 1828 Anyos Jedlik (1800-95) of Hungary invents the electric motor?

In 1828 Dutch candymaker Casparus van Houten (1770-1858) and his son Coenraad Johannes van Houten (1801-87) patent a process for removing the fat from roasted cocoa beans to make cocoa powder, and make the first chocolate candy; the first chocolate bar is produced in 1847 by J.S. Fry & Sons of England - I want to be born after this year?

In 1829 German chemist Johann Wolfgang Dobereiner (Döbereiner) (1780-1849) pub. the existence of a simple relationship among the atomic weights of elements having similar properties - he's got the columns but not the rows?

Science reaches a new plateau? In 1829 Belgian physicist Joseph Antoine Ferdinand Plateau (1801-83) discovers Stroboscopic Movement. In 1832 he invents the Phenakistoscope (spindle-viewer), the first moving picture device.

In 1829 Geneva-born French mathematician Jacques Charles Francois Sturm (1803-55) of France discovers Sturm's Theorem for finding the number of distinct real roots of a polynomial.

In 1829 Josef Ressel, inventor of the ship propeller attains a speed of six knots with his screw-propeller driven speedboat Civetta in Trieste.

In the 1830s Glasgow-born Scottish chemist Andrew Ure (1778-1857) invents the bi-metallic Thermostat (Gr. "thermos" + "statos" = hot + stationary).

In 1830 Scottish botanist Robert Brown (1773-1858) discovers the cell nucleus in plants, along with Brownian Motion.

In 1830 English optician Joseph Jackson Lister (1786-1869) develops an achromatic lens for microscopes, getting rid of the colored halos surrounding objects and making them effective for the first time, even though it takes decades before skeptics accept microscope evidence as scientific proof.

In 1830 the first Lawnmower is invented by Edwin Beard Budding of England; it is imported to the U.S. in 1855.

In 1830 English adm. ("the Sea Wolf") Thomas Cochrane, 10th Earl of Dundonald (1775-1860) develops Compressed Air for use in engines - he should think of using it in diving?

In 1830 English optician Joseph Jackson Lister (1786-1869) develops an achromatic lens for microscopes, getting rid of the colored halos surrounding objects and making them effective for the first time, even though it takes decades before skeptics accept microscope evidence as scientific proof.

In 1830 James Perry of England receives a patent for a machine-made steel point pen with a center hole at the top of a central slit plus additional slits on each side; next year William Joseph Gillott stamps the nibs from sheets of rolled medal.

In 1830 poor French Parisian chemistry student Marc Charles Sauria (1812-95) invents the phosphorus-based Friction Match after changing the sulfur-reeking antimony sulfide of British chemist John Walker with white phosphorus, and the latter patents it for him and puts it into production; by the time of his death 3M of his matches are produced worldwide; too bad, the 1906 Internat. Berne Convention outlaws white phosphorus in 1906 - the Saurian conspiracy?

In 1830 Augustus Siebe (1788-1872) of Germany invents the first Closed Diving Suit, made of rubberized fabric.

On July 17, 1830 French tailor Barthelemy (Barthélemy) Thimonnier (1793-1857) patents the first practical Sewing Machine, using a hook-tipped needle and foot treadle, and receives a contract from the French army to make uniforms; too bad, local tailors fearing for their livelihood burn his plant down and put him out of biz. In 1832 Walter Hunt (1796-1859) of New York City invents a true sewing machine, introducing an eye-pointed needle and interlocked stitch, but refuses to apply for a patent because of fear of "injuring society" by throwing seamstresses out of work (either that or he gets snubbed by a few investors); meanwhile he has many other inventions under development, incl. the safety pin (which he sells for $400), knife sharpener, fountain pen, street sweeping machine, revolver, and repeating rifle.

In 1831 Scottish-born British explorer Sir John Ross (1777-1856) (uncle of Sir James Clark Ross) discovers the location of Earth's magnetic North Pole near Ellesmere Island in Canada on his 2nd Arctic expedition (ends 1833); starting in 1904, the pole begins shifting NE at about 9 mi. a year, speeds up again in 1989, and by 2007 is heading toward Siberia at 34-37 mi. a year.

The original Skipper and Gilligan set out for Christmas '31? On Dec. 27, 1831 (Tues.) (11:00 a.m.) after having his interest in natural studies piqued by Cambridge botanist John Stevens Henslow (1796-1861), young biologist and bird shooter Charles Darwin (1809-82) sets out in HMS Beagle, captained by Robert FitzRoy (1805-65) (introduced to him by Henslow) for a 5-year cruise to Patagonia in South Am., New Zealand, and Australia (ends Oct. 2, 1836) to study flora and fauna and gather info. (ends 1836); his 17-day stay on the Galapagos Islands in fall 1835 takes him over the top, esp. the Galapagos tortoise, and the "obvious" natural selection among the 13 (14?) (15?) species of Darwin's finches (actually, passerine birds not related to finches), and his revulsion at the "hideous-looking" Galapagos marine iguana, with the soundbyte: "They are as black as the porous rocks over which they crawl and seek their prey from the Sea. Somebody calls them 'imps of darkness'. They assuredly well become the land they inhabit" (actually they eat seaweed); it takes for 1973 for a real scientific study of Darwin's finches to be made by Peter and Rosemary Grant - evolution or devolution?

In 1831 Samuel Guthrie (1782-1848) of N.Y. (inventor of percussion powder, which makes the flintlock musket obsolete, plus a process for converting potato starch into molasses in 1830), Justus von Liebig (1803-73) of Germany, and Eugene (Eugène) (1797-1859) of France independently discover Chloroform (CHCl3). In 1839 Soubeiran and Hyacinthe Captaine discover Cubebin.

In 1831 James Bogardus (1800-74) of New York City invents a mechanized engraving machine for engraving dies for bank notes. In 1832 he invents the Eccentric Universal Mill, used for grinding lenses and finishing ball bearings. In 1851 after building his first cast iron bldg. facades in New York City last May 7, Bogardus builds the first three cast iron frame bldgs. in Washington, D.C., patenting his invention.

In 1831 Robert Hall McCormick (1780-1846) of Walnut Grove, Va. invents the Mechanical Reaper, and his son Cyrus Hall McCormick (1809-84) markets it, turning wheat farming into a big agribusiness; he receives a patent on June 21, 1834, and leaves it to his son, who later claims he invented it?

On May 31, 1832 French mathematician Evariste (Évariste) Galois (b. 1811) dies in Paris after a duel, leaving revolutionary papers giving necessary and sufficient conditions for the solution of equations by radicals using invariant (normal) subgroups, founding mathematical Group Theory; super-mathematician Gauss looks the stuff over and shrugs it off?

In 1832 English physicist Joseph Henry (1797-1878) discovers self-induced currents (inductance), and in 1842 he discovers the oscillatory character of electrical discharges.

In 1832 Irish inventor John Howard Kyan (1774-1850) patents the Kyanizing Process for preserving wood, canvas, cloth etc. using a solution of bichloride of mercury.

In 1832 the Cigarette is invented by an Egyptian artilleryman in the Egyptian-Turkish War after first inventing the use of paper tubes for holding cannon gunpowder rounds.

On Nov. 12/13, 1833 (night) the Great Leonid Meteor Storm of 1833 sees meteor showers all over North Am. E of the Rocky Mts. at a rate of 240K in 9 hours, sparking a serious scientific study of meteor showers; Leonid meteor showers radiate from the Constellation Leo, and are associated with Comet Temple-Tuttle, recurring about every 33 years, occuring on Nov. 6-30 with peak on Nov. 17; Uncompaghre Ute chief Ouray is born this night, his name meaning "arrow".

In 1833 English astronomer Sir George Biddell Airy (1801-92) proves an inequality in the motions of Venus and Earth that extends over 240 years, getting the Royal Astronomical Society's gold medal and a promotion to astronomer royal in 1835 (until 1881).

In 1833 English physician Marshall Hall (1790-1857) discovers the nervous reflex, going on to found the field of Neurology.

In 1833 French chemist Anselme Payen (1795-1871) proves that the fermentation of starch in grain to sugar is catalyzed by the watery material surrounding the grain, which contains no living microorganisms, calling the active principle "diastase" (from Gr. "separation"), which eventually causes all organic catalysts to be named with the suffix "-ase".

In 1833 English scientist Samuel Hunter Christie (1784-1865) invents the Wheatstone Bridge for the precise comparison of electrical resistances, capacitances, and inductances; it is not used until 1843 by Sir Charles Wheatstone (1802-75) (prof. at King's College, London since 1834), who ends up getting credit for it. In 1829 Wheatstone patents the Concertina. In 1834 Wheatstone measures the speed of electrical discharge in a conductor using a revolving mirror. In 1838 Wheatstone invents the Stereoscope.

In 1833 Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855) and Wilhelm Eduard Weber (1805-91) of Germany invent the Electromagnetic Telegraph, testing it up to 9K ft. In 1835 New York U. art prof. Samuel F.B. Morse (1791-1872) invents and demonstrates the Morse Electric Telegraph based on prior work of Germans Carl Friedrich Gauss and Wilhelm E. Weber; he and his associate Albert Vail (1807-59) build and test it in Speedwell Ironworks in Morristown, N.J.; in 1837 he exhibits it at the City College of New York, and invents Morse Code, which he can send at a shocking 10 words per min.; Morse and Maine Dem. rep. (1833-9) Francis Ormond Jonathan Smith (1806-76) lobby Congress for federal funding to build his telegraph system, and on May 1, 1844 after Congress appropriates $30K for a 37-mi. line, Morse sends the first telegraph message between Washington, D.C. and Baltimore, Md., officially opening the line on May 24 while demonstrating it to a crowd of dignitaries in the chambers of the U.S. Supreme Court, sending the message "What hath God wrought" to Alfred Vail. Meanwhile in 1837 English inventor Sir William Fothergill Cooke (1806-79) and Sir Charles Wheatstone (1802-75) patent an electric telegraph that is widely used in Britain.

In 1834 German physiologist (histologist) Theodor Schwann (1810-82) discovers the catalytic role of pepsin (from Gr. "digestion") in gastric juice - too early to be given the "-ase" suffix. In 1837 he recognizes that the yeast cell is a living organism, naming it saccharomyces (Gr. "sugar fungus") for its sweet tooth, also recognizing that fermentation is an anaerobic process, helping turn beer brewing into a science, going on to generalize that cells are the common structural and functional unit of all living organisms - and likes to paint his trucks mustard yellow? In 1839 the vitalist theory of animal life is dumped, and the cell-growth theory of biology is boosted with his discovery of animal cells, consisting of protoplasm separated by membranes, all mature tissues of animals being traceable to embryonic, nucleated cells.

In 1834 Newburyport, Mass.-born inventor Jacob Perkins (1766-1849) develops the first workable refrigeration machine using the vapor-compression refrigeration cycle with ammonia, which is patented next Aug. 14; in 1856 Scottish-born James Harrison (1816-93) of Australia patents a vapor-compression refrigeration system that uses ether, and installs his first ice machine in a brewery; in 1859 French inventor Ferdinand Philippe Edouard Carre (Carré) (1824-1900) patents a modification to Harrison's design that uses ammonia instead of ether; in 1868 the Siebe Brothers of Lambeth, England install a Perkins machine in Truman's Brewery in London, and the same year Am. engineer Francis V. DeCoppet installs one in the New Orleans, La. brewery of George Mertz, finding that the Perkins design doesn't work well with ammonia, causing him to design his own, which he installs in 1869, receiving U.S. patent #148,675 on Mar. 17, 1874; earlier in the decade Perkins developed the Perkins Tube (Heat Pipe), which is later used in central heating systems - is it perkin'?

In 1835 French physicist Gustave Gaspard de Coriolis (1792-1843) first pub. a description of the curving deflection of winds caused by the Earth's rotation, AKA the Coriolis Effect (counterclockwise in the N Hemisphere). In 1829 he becomes the first to call the product of force and distance "work", and to point out that it is more convenient to speak of one-half of m times v squared for kinetic energy.

On Aug. 28, 1835 (Fri.) the first article in the Great Moon Hoax series by Richard Adams Locke (1800-71) (descendant of British philosopher John Locke) appears in the New York Sun, claiming that a new telescope has revealed that the Moon is inhabited by 4-ft.-tall flying man-bats along with unicorns and beavers; Edgar Allan Poe claims he was plagiarized.

In 1835 Belgian mathematician Adolphe Quetelet (1796-1874) pub. Sur l'Homme det le Developpement de ses Facultes, ou Essai de Physique Sociale, applying the theory of probability to the statistics of society, which he calls Social Physics, where the "average man" (l'homme moyen) is characterized by the mean values of measured variables following a normal distribution, pissing-off Auguste Comte, who coins the term "Sociology" in opposition.

In 1835 Scottish geologist Sir Roderick Impey Murchison (1792-1871) and British geologist Adam Sedgwick (1785-1873) pub. On the Silurian and Cambrian Systems, Exhibiting the Order in which the Older Sedimentary Strata Succeed each other in England and Wales, which defines the succession of Paleozoic strata in Wales, with Murchison defining the Silurian system (1839), and Sedgwick (Charles Darwin's teacher) defining the Cambrian system, laying the foundation for the modern Geological Time Scale; in 1840 after the Great Devonian Controversey, Murchison discovers a new layer between the Silurian and Carboniferous, which he calls the Devonian system.

In 1835 Samuel Colt (1814-62) of the U.S. invents the automatic revolver, and takes out an English patent for a single-barreled pistol and rifle; on Feb. 25, 1836 he receives a U.S. patent for a firearm with a revolving cylinder (revolver) - too late for Alamo use?

On May 15, 1836 English astronomer Francis Baily (1774-1844) first observes Baily's Beads during an annual solar eclipse in Inch Bonney, Roxburghshire.

On Oct. 24, 1836 Alonzo Dwight Phillips of Springfield, Mass. patents the white phosphorus loco foco or lucifer, the Friction Match, which can be struck on any rough surface, made by hand from chalk, glue, phosphorus, and sulfur; by the 1860s 1M matches a day are being manufactured.

In 1836 English scientist John Frederic Daniell (1790-1845) develops the Daniell Cell (AKA Gravity Cell, Crowfoot Dell), a voltaic cell that cures the polarization problem of the Voltaic Pile by isolating the copper and zinc ions from each other with a semipermeable membrane, allowing longer operation.

In 1836 English chemist (in Ireland) Edmund Davey (1785-1857) discovers acetylene gas, recognizing its value as an illuminating gas; too bad, it is forgotten until Marcellin Berthelot rediscovers it in 1860 after a zillion whales are butchered for their lousy tallow.

In 1836 Swedish-born Am. inventor John Ericsson (1803-89) patents a screw propeller, which is first used on the London-built SS Francis B. Ogden in 1837.

In 1836 English chemist (in Ireland) Edmund Davey (1785-1857) discovers acetylene gas, recognizing its value as an illuminating gas; too bad, it is forgotten until Marcellin Berthelot rediscovers it in 1860 after a zillion whales are butchered for their lousy tallow.

In 1836 Edward Hitchcock pub. an article about fossil footprints in the Conn. River Valley.

In 1836 Czech physiologist Jan Evangelista Purkinje notes the protein-digesting ability of pancreatic extracts.

In 1836 German naturalist Karl Friedrich Schimper (1803-67), known for proposing his scientific ideas in poetic form and never getting an academic appointment begins researches into the Pleistocene Epoch - the first beatnik scientist?

In 1836 English physicist William Henry Fox Talbot (1800-77) discovers Talbot's Carpet, an interference pattern created when light passes through a series of parallel slits; in 2013 Martin McCall et al. of Imperial College London use it to create a way to cloak info. in data streams.

In 1836 New York State sponsors a natural history survey (ends 1842), which establishes U.S. geologists as a force; Maine sponsors a geologic survey (ends 1844).

In 1837 Vermont blacksmith Thomas Davenport (1802-51) develops the first DC Electric Motor.

In 1837 Ill. blacksmith John Deere (1804-86) invents a steel-tipped wrought-iron plow, which slowly becomes the standard for the U.S. prairie; his co. logo is in agricultural green and yellow, and features an antlered animal (don't say deeer?); by 1839 he makes a total of 10 plows.

In 1838 astronomers Friedrich Wilhelm Bessel (1784-1846) of Germany, Friedrich Georg Wilhelm von Struve (1793-1864) of Germany, and Thomas Henderson (1798-1844) of Scotland measure stellar parallax for the first time this year and next in binary star system 61 Cygni with measurements 6 mo. apart, giving the heliocentric theory its final proof.

In 1838 Dutch chemist Fox Mulder, er, Gerardus Johannes Mulder (1802-80) finds nitrogen and sulfur atoms in albuminoids, and decides that their structure is more complex than carbohydrates and lipids, causing Jons Jakob Berzelius to suggest the name "protein", from the Greek word for "of primary importance".

In 1838 the Bedford Level Experiment sees English inventor Samuel Birley Rowbotham (1816-84) use a 6-mo. stretch of the Old Bedord River in Cambridgeshire, U.K. to prove that the Earth is flat, later pub. the book "Zetetic Astronomy: Earth Not a Globe" under the alias Parallax (1849), containing the soundbyte: "The Earth is an enclosed plane, centered at the North Pole and founded along its outward edge by a wall of ice, with the Sun, Moon, planets, and stars only about 3,000 miles above the surface of the Earth (4,800 km) and the Glass Firmament at about 3,100 miles (5,000 km), only about 100 miles away from the Sun and the Moon."

In 1838 German botanist Matthias Jakob Schleiden (1804-81) pub. "Failures to Contribute to Phytogenesis", announcing that plants are composed of cells.

In 1838 French engineer-physicist Baron Charles Cagniard de la Tour (1777-1859) theorizes that yeast is composed of tiny living spherules which bud and produce more spherules.

In 1838 after reading Thomas Malthus' "An Essay on the Principle of Population" (1798), French mathematician Pierre Francois Verhulst (1804-49) pub. the Logistic Equation to model pop. growth; in 1925 Alfred J. Lotka names it the Law of Pop. Growth.

In 1838 David Bruce of New York City invents the Pivotal Typecasting Machine, capable of producing 6K pieces of type an hour, revolutionizing the biz by replacing men who acted as handcasters, causing a mini Luddite revolt; he patents it in 1845. Also in 1838 Moritz Hermann Jacobi of St. Petersburg, Russia invents Electrotyping (Galvanoplastics) to make duplicate plates for relief printing. Also in 1838 Charles Babbage of England invents the Cow Catcher, attached to the front of a train to clear obstacles off the track.

In 1839 French Parisian physicist Antoine Cesar Becquerel (1788-1878) and his son Alexandre Edmond Becquerel (1820-91) discover the Photoelectric (Photovoltaic) Effect.

On Feb. 24, 1839 Pelham, Mass.-born William Smith Otis (1813-39) of Philly (older cousin of elevator man Elisha Otis) patents the Steam Shovel, then dies on Nov. 13.

In 1839 Welsh inventor Sir William Robert Grove (1811-96) invents the Platinum-Zinc Battery (Grove Cell), and uses it to power an electric arc light in the Finsbury Circus in London.

In 1839 English-born Am. scientist John William Draper (1811-82) becomes the first person in N.Y. to use the Daguerre process, and makes photographs of the Moon; a photo he makes next year of his sister Dorothy Catherine Draper becomes the oldest photographic portrait to survive to modern times; meanwhile after Louis Daguerre's invention is announced on Jan. 7, English inventor William Henry Fox Talbot (1800-77) claims priority (1835) over Daguerre in photography and argues his case before the Royal Society.

In 1839 German-Swiss chemist Christian Friedrich Schonbein (1799-1868) discovers and names ozone. In 1846 he discovers guncotton (cellulose nitrate).

In 1839 Berlin apothecary Eduard Simon discovers Polystyrene in storax, the resin of the Turkish sweetgum tree Liquidambar orientalis.

In 1839 Am. inventor Charles Goodyear (1800-60) invents the Vulcanization Process for Rubber, which he patents on June 15, 1844, leading to the mass production of rubbers, AKA condoms; denture bases, previously made of gold, become affordable to the masses; too bad, English scientist Thomas Hancock (1786-1865) patents vulcanization of rubber on May 21, 1844, and Goodyear only comes up with his 1839 story in his 1853 autobio. Gum-Elastica; starting in 1890 Brazil experiences a rubber boom, going from 31 tons exported in 1839 to 27K tons in 1900. Meanwhile in 1845 Robert William Thomson (1822-73) of England invents the rubber pneumatic tire for bicycles, patenting it in 1847.

In 1839 the first Velocipede (a Draisienne with pedals on the rear wheels) is invented by Scottish inventor Kirkpatrick Macmillan (1810-78).

About 1840 the Second Industrial Rev. begins, bringing railroads, large-scale steel production, increased use of steam power and petroleum, mass production, and factory electrification.

In Feb. 1840 German physician Julius Robert von Mayer (1814-78) sails from Rotterdam in the 3-masted ship Java, and after docking at Surabaya he notices that the venous blood of sailors he's bleeding is brighter red, indicating less oxygen being consumed than in colder climates, causing him to have a bright idea that food is oxidized to create not only animal heat but work, hence that heat and work are interchangeable in some way. In 1842 he announces an improved value for the mechanical equivalent of heat, calculated by an apparatus pulled by a horse that stirs paper pulp in a cauldron, and proposes the law of conservation of energy, which holds even for living systems, and also states that the Sun is the ultimate source of energy on Earth; too bad, not being a recognized scientist (member of a prof. assoc. of stuffed shirts), he is ignored; he says that a weight falling 365m will lose enough potential energy to warm an equal weight of water by 1 deg C, corresponding to a mechanical equivalent of heat of 3.56 Joules per calorie, not far from the real figure of 4.184. The tendency of learned societies of know-nothings to keep newbies out follows the dismal example of established churches? In 1843 British (Manchester) brewer and obsessive amateur scientist James Prescott Joule (1818-89) calculates the first fairly accurate value (41.54M ergs or 4.154 Joules per calorie) for the mechanical equivalent of heat; later 10M ergs is called a Joule in his honor; at first his work is disregarded since he's not a recognized academic, and is refused by the Royal Society and learned journals, forcing him to get it pub. in 1847 in a Manchester newspaper on which his brother is the music critic; a few mo. later he is allowed to present it at a scientific gathering, and 23-y.-o. Scottish physicist William Thomson (1824-1907) (later Lord Kelvin) gets it accepted, causing it to be taken up by respectable German scientist Hermann Ludwig Ferdinand von Helmholtz (1821-94), who ends up getting credit for the law of conservation of energy instead of amateurs Joule and Mayer in 1847; Joule finally gets to present his paper to the Royal Society in 1849, making him look like a beer-brewing copycat? In 1852 Joule and Thomson discover the Joule-Thomson Effect, a change in temperature of a non-ideal gas or liquid when forced through a valve (throttle) or porous plug in an adiabatic environment. Meanwhile in 1840 James Prescott Joule pub. the I^2*R law for the heat given off by a conductor of resistance R carrying a current I (Joulean heat) - the reason Easy-Bake Ovens work?

In 1840 English surgeon John Wright of Birmingham invents Electroplating using silver cyanide in a potassium cyanide solution, which is patented by manufacturer George Richards Elkington (1801-65).

In 1840 Cambridge historian-philosopher William Whewell (1794-1866) coins the word "scientist" (Lat. "scire" = to know, Lat. "scindire" = to cut, Gr. "schizein" = to split) ("We need very much a name to describe a cultivator of science in general. I should incline to call him a scientist"); he also coins the term "physicist".

In 1841 Scottish physician James Braid (1795-1860) coins the term "hypnotism", becoming the first to use it in the modern sense as a "psycho-physiological" rather than occult phenomenon.

In 1841 Carlo Matteucci (1811-68) of Italy discovers a difference of electrical potential between an excised nerve and damaged muscle, leading Emil du Bois-Reymond (1818-96) to found a German school of physiologists seeking to reduce physiological phenomena to physico-chemical processes.

In 1841 after returning from India, Irish physician Sir William Brooke O'Shaughnessy (1809-89) introduces cannabis sativa (hashish, marijuana) to Western medicine.

In 1841 English mechanical engineer Sir Joseph Whitworth (1803-87) devises the British system of standard screw threads - it's not worth a whit?

In 1842 French mathematician Joseph Alphonse Adhemar (Adhémar) (1797-1862) pub. Revolutions of the Sea, proposing the astronomical theory of Ice Age causation, which evolves into the theory of Milkanovich Cycles in the 1920s by Serbian mathematician Milutin Milankovic (Milankovitch) (1879-1958).

In 1842 Austrian physicist Christian Andreas Doppler (1803-53) pub. the first explanation of the Doppler Effect (Shift). In 1845 Dutch scientist Christoph Hendrik Diederik (Christophorus Henricus Diedericus) Buys Ballot (1817-90) first tests the brand-new Doppler effect by having an orchestra of trumpeters perform in an open railroad car as it speeds through the countryside on the Utrecht-Amsterdam line.

In 1842 Robert Wilhelm Eberhard von Bunsen (1811-99) of Germany invents the carbon electrode battery, far less expensive than William Robert Grove's platinum electrode battery. Too bad, in 1843 he loses the use of his right eye in a cacodyl cyanide explosion, and, remembering two near-deaths from arsenic poisoning, he decides to switch from organic to inorganic chemistry.

On Mar. 30, 1842 Ga.-born U. of Penn. Medical School grad. (1839) Crawford Williamson Long (1815-78) pioneers surgical ether anesthesia during a minor operation to remove a neck tumor from James M. Venable, followed by eight more operations over the next four years, but fails to announce his results until 1849, allowing William T. Morton to grab the glory, after which he has U.S. Sen. William Crosby Dawson present his claims to Congress in 1854; his statue ends up in the crypt of the U.S. Capitol as one of two to represent the state of soporific Magnolia-blossom Jawjaw. On Dec. 10, 1844 Vt.-born medical student Gardner Quincy Colton (1814-98) first demonstrates nitrous oxide for anesthesia to Hartford, Conn. dentist Horace Wells (1815-48), then leaves for the Calif. Gold Rush, letting Wells take the credit; too bad, next year Wells gives a public demonstration in a Boston hospital and pulls the patient's tooth before the anesthetic takes effect, causing him to be laughed at, then generously offers the discovery to the public domain with the soundbyte that pain relief should be "as free as the air" - go be my Luca Brazzi? In Oct. 1846 the first surgery using sulfuric (diethyl) ether for anesthesia is performed at Mass. General Hospital on tumor removal patient Gilbert Abbott by Dr. John Collins Warren after dentist William Thomas Green Morton (1819-68), pupil of ether pioneer Charles Thomas Jackson (1805-80) suggests it; Green and Jackson then make a public demonstration of ether's anesthetic properties, claiming the discovery of "letheon", causing Conn. rival Dr. Horace Wells to get into a bitter claim for priority and end up committing suicide in 1848 in New York City - I said it's better with a spray? In 1848 Sir James Young Simpson (1811-70), who discovered the soporific properties last year first uses Chloroform for anesthesia during childbirth, after which in 1853 John Snow (1813-58) uses it during the delivery of Queen Victoria's son Leopold, causing Simpson to become the first person to be knighted for services to medicine; meanwhile Dr. Horace Wells tries it on himself for a week in Jan., goes crazy and throws sulfuric acid on two hos, causing him to be committed to Tombs Prison in N.Y.; when he comes to, he takes more chloroform, then slits a leg artery with a razor and commits hari kari.

In 1842 the rare earth element Yttrium (Y) (#39) (obtained from monazite sand, known for use in red phosphors for color TVs and garnet crystals) is discovered by Swedish chemist Carl Gustaf (Gustav) Mosander (1797-1858), who also discovers the rare metallic element didymium in cerite, but later finds that it's just a mixture of the elements neodymium and praseodymium.

In 1843 French mathematician Adhemar Jean Claude Barre (Adhémar Jean Claude Barré) de Saint-Venant (1797-1886) pub. the first correct derivation of the Navier-Stokes Equations for viscous flow, and becomes the first to identify the coefficient of viscosity as the multiplying factor for velocity gradients in the flow; too bad, English physicist Sir George Gabriel Stokes (1809-1903) ends up getting credit after he asks his Cambridge students to solve it for prize exams in 1854, even though he got the solution in 1850 from Lord Kelvin.

In 1843 German astronomer Samuel Heinrich Schwabe (1789-1875) discovers 11-year Solar Cycles of sunspot counts, with Cycle 1 set in 1755-66 by Swiss astronomer Johann Rudolf Wolf (1816-93) in 1848, who devises the Wolf (Zurich) (Internat. Sunspot) (Relative Sunspot) Number for the number of visible sunspots and sunspot groups; in 1852 Wolf et al. discover the link between the Wolf Cycle and geomagnetic activity on Earth.

In 1843 Scottish inventor Alexander Bain (1811-77), inventor of the electric clock invents the facsimile (fax) machine, using electric clock pendulums to produce a back-and-forth line-by-line scanning mechanism.

In 1843 British judge and physicist Sir William Robert Grove (1811-96) invents the Fuel Cell; the expense causes them to rest dormant until the Space Age, when they are used to power spacecraft.

In 1843 French scientist Lucien Vidie invents the Aneroid Barometer, which uses a beryllium-copper capsule instead of mercury.

In 1844 German chemist Karl Ernst Claus (1796-1864) discovers the greyish-white metallic element Ruthenium (Ru) (#44) in platinum ores.

In 1844 German botanist Hugo von Mohl (1805-72) identifies and names protoplasm as the source of movements in the nucleus.

In 1844 Elijah Galloway of Britain invents waterproof easy-to-clean gray-brown rubber and powdered cork Kamptulicon (Gr. "kampto" = flexible) (the first lineoleum), which is used to line the floors of the British Parliament; real lineoleum is patented in 1863; too bad, increases in rubber prices drive the co. out of business.

In 1844 Gustaf Erik Pasch (Berggren) (1788-1862) of Sweden patents a safety match with red phosphorus on the striking surface; too bad, the red stuff is too expensive, and he goes broke.

In 1844 Scottish geologist Robert Chambers (1802-71) anon. pub. Vestiges of the Natural History of Creation, which prepares many people to come out of the closet and accept Darwin's Theory of Evolution, while chicken Darwin satisfies himself by privately circulating a long essay on his theory - so it's now OK to try some of those new condom thingies on their new lineoleum floors while getting high on laughing gas?

In 1845 German physicist Gustav Robert Kirchhoff (1824-87) proposes Kirchhoff's Circuit Laws, generalizing the work of Georg Simon Ohm and preparing the way for the work of James Clerk Maxwell; meanwhile his teacher, German physicist Franz Ernst Neumann (1798-1895) pub. a mathematical justification of the law of electromagnetic induction.

In 1845 Sir William George Armstrong (1810-1900) of England patents a hydraulic crane driven by a piston engine.

In 1845 Erastus Brigham Bigelow (1814-79) of the U.S. invents a power loom for carpet manufacturing, going on to turn Clinton, Mass. into a manufacturing center.

In 1845 Am. Tom Thumb builder Peter Cooper (1791-1883) patents a gelatin dessert which in 1897 is marketed as Jell-O.

In 1845 Joshua Heilman (1796-1848) of France patents a machine for combing cotton and wool.

In 1845 Am. inventor Elias Howe (1819-67) invents the modern high-speed Sewing Machine ("the queen of inventions"), with eye-pointed needle, two strands of thread, and a shuttle lock stitch process, receiving a patent next Sept. 10, and quickly revolutionizing the shoe, boot, and textile industries, dropping the labor for a man's dress shirt from 14 to 1.25 hours, and for a woman's dress from 10 to 1 hour; after failing to stir interest in the U.S., he goes to England and sells several to a corset maker, then returns to find that his idea has caught on but his patents were stolen blind, causing him to consume years in litigation with Isaac Merritt Singer (1811-75), Wheeler & Wilson, Grover & Baker, et al., making his lawyers rich, although he gets rich too; in 1856 he and the four other leaders form the Sewing Machine Combination, which controls the industry until their patents expire in 1877, making him and Singer millionaires with the first mechanical device to enter homes, helped by the hire-purchase (installment) plan introduced by Singer, who sells 43K machines a year by 1867 (5K more than #2), growing to 1M a year by the year 1900.

In 1845 W.A. Miller invents Spectrum Analysis using colored flames, but his work is largely ignored because the alcohol flames used are too weak.

On Sept. 23, 1846 planet Neptune is discovered by German astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle (1812-1910) and Heinrich Ludwig d'Arrest (1822-75) after its position is independently predicted mathematically in 1843-5 by English mathematician-astronomer John Couch Adams (1819-82) (pr. cooch) of Cambridge U. in England (not to be confused with U.S. pres. John Adams) and independently in 1846 by Urbain Le Verrier (1811-77) of France; Adams' prediction is less than 2 deg. from the actual location, making him BMOC in 19th cent. astronomy; in July 2011 it makes its first orbit around the Sun since discovery; on Oct. 10 (17 days after the discovery of Neptune), English astronomer William Lassell (1799-1880) discovers Triton, Neptune's largest moon (retrograde). In 1851 Lassell discovers Uranus' moons Ariel and Umbriel, starting the tradition of naming Solar System moons after Shakespeare's characters, causing Queen Victoria to ask to meet him when she visits Liverpool, after which he builds a 48-in. telescope in Malta to discover glorious new make-benefit moons for the Queen; no astral body is named after Shakespeare himself until ?

In 1846 Italian chemist Ascanio Sobrero (1812-88) invents the volatile explosive nitroglycerine, made from nitric acid, sulfuric acid and glycerine, then keeps it secret for a year because of its horrible potential uses; his student Alfred Nobel takes it back to his family's defunct armament factory and plays around with it and making it less dangerous to handle - Father, I want to kill you; mother, I want to...?

In 1846 Oliver Allen of Norwich, Conn. patents the shoulder-fired Bomb Lance (AKA Brand Gun), with an exploding tip for a closer-range whale kill; luckily Abraham Gesner (1797-1864) from thrifty Nova Scotia first distills kerosene from coal oil, saving the whales as lamps can now be lit with it instead of whale oil, and more cheaply.

In 1846 Richard March Hoe (1812-86) of New York City, son of English immigrant printer Robert Hoe (1784-1833) invents the Rotary Press, using revolving cylinders instead of flat beds, becoming known as the lightning press; in 1848 he invents the Web Press, which prints on both sides of the sheet and cuts and folds it, making modern newspapers possible.

In 1847 Carl F.W. Ludwig (1816-95) of Germany invents the Kymograph (Gr. "wave writer") to record blood pressure, boosting the study of physiology.

In 1847 Austrian-Hungarian physician Ignaz Philipp Semmelweis (1818-65) discovers the connection between childbed fever and puerperal infection, and pisses-off physicians by suggesting that their filthy hands and instruments are killing their patients - be hot and stay cool?

In 1848 Louis Pasteur separates tartaric acid into its two racemates, components with mirror-image structures, founding Stereochemistry.

In 1848 English scientist Capt. Henry Piddington (1797-1858) coins the word "cyclone" to refer to a storm that blew his freighter in circles in Mauritius in Feb. 1845.

In 1848 Easton, N.Y.-born engineer George Henry Corliss (1817-88) of Providence, R.I. invents the Corliss Steam Engine, and patents it next Mar. 10, delivering 30% more fuel efficiency than previous steam engines.

In 1849 after planting 22K seedlings of the indigestible hard-skinned fox (skunk) grape Vitis labrusca in an attempt to develop a palatable wine from "pure" native Am. species to get around the "debauched" European and Semitic species Vitis vinifera, the slip-skin Concord Grape is invented by Boston-born gold leaf artisan and amateur farmer Ephraim Wales Bull (1806-95) of Concord, Mass.; too bad, after he fails to obtain a patent others begin growing and selling them; his epitaph reads "He sowed others reaped."

In 1849 English botanist Richard Spruce (1817-93) begins an expedition to South America (ends 1864), discovering yage (ayahuasca), the hallucinogenic drink used by Amazonian tribes that is prepared from the bark of giant flowering vines (Banisteria caapi).

In 1850 French physiologist Claude Bernard (1813-78) discovers the glycogenic function of the liver; next year he establishes the existence of vasomotor nerves, and formulates the concept of milieu interieur (homeostasis).

The original Rudolf the Red-Nosed Rain On Your Parade, Dear? In 1850 German physicist Rudolf Julius Emanuel Clausius (1822-88) formulates the Second Law of Thermodynamics, and the Kinetic Theory of Gases. In 1865 he coins the term "entropy", and reformulates the Second Law of Thermodynamics using it: "The entropy of the Universe is constantly increasing to an eventual maximum" - that sounds good and bad at the same time?

In 1850 French physicist Jean Bernard Leon Foucault (1819-68) proves that light travels more slowly in water than in air, and that the speed varies inversely with the index of refraction. In 1851 he wows the crowds with his 220-ft. (67m) wire pendulum suspended from the dome of the Pantheon in Paris, proving that the Earth really rotates on its axis.

In 1850 German scientist Adolph Wilhelm Hermann Kolbe (1818-84) produces acetic acid using zinc and chloroacetic acid, thus transforming one organic substance into another without needing a living system, driving a final nail into the coffin of vitalism (not that its proponents don't stick with it till their deaths); "How is it that scientific theories change when some scientists, who are allegedly the most logical of men, continue to adhere to their pet beliefs in the face of all evidence?" (Max Planck)

About 1850 Swedish inventor (in Russia) Immanuel Nobel (1801-72) (father of Alfred Nobel) invents the Rotary Lathe, making possible the manufacturing of Plywood.

In 1850 English sociologist Herbert Spencer (1820-1903) pub. Social Statics, or The Conditions Essential to Happiness Specified, and the First of Them Developed, founding modern Sociology; "It is clear that man can become adapted to the social state, only by being retained in the social state." In 1852 he pub. The Developmental Hypothesis, containing the first use of the the all-powerful catchword "evolution". In 1864 he pub. The Principles of Biology, which coins the term "survival of the fittest"; "The survival of the fittest implies multiplication of the fittest."

In 1850 German scientist Ludwig Ferdinand Wilhelmy (1812-65) pioneers the study of chemical kinetics in the inversion of cane sugar, and observes that the rate is proportional to the concentration of undecomposed sugar, while the rate constant is dependent on the concentration of the acid catalyst.

In 1850 Carl Kellner (1826-55) of Germany invents the 3-lens Kellner Eyepiece, the first modern achromatic eyepiece, and founds the Leitz Co., which in 1913 produces Leica brand cameras.

In 1851 English astronomer royal (1835-81) Sir George Biddell Airy (1801-92) establishes the 4th Prime Meridian at Greenwich, which becomes internationally recognized in 1884. In 1854 he establishes the specific density of the Earth as 6.566 after placing a pendulum at the bottom of Harton Pit near Brooke, er, South Shields; the true value is 5.515.

In 1851 French mathematician Joseph Liouville (1809-82) proves the existence of transcendental numbers, whose decimal expansions neither terminate nor repeat.

The lukewarm Love Train, or, There are only two kinds of people, those who think that there is a God, and those who believe they are God? Right in your face mask? In 1851 English physicist William Thomson (1824-1907) (later Lord Kelvin) begins pub. papers on the laws of conservation and dissipation of energy, generalizing Carnot's 1824 paper and formulating the Second Law of Thermodynamics, the idea of degradation of energy and the eventual heat death of the Universe, in which there is a uniform temperature throughout, hence none of its energy can be converted into useful work; "Though the total energy of the Universe is constant, the amount of free energy decreases steadily"; luckily there is still enough free energy left for trillions of years?

On May 6, 1851 Am. physician John Gorrie (1802-55) of Apalachicola, Fla. patents (U.S. Patent #8080) the first Refrigerator (ice machine) to help his patients fight tropical diseases; the first demonstration is made to ice champagne for a cotton buyer; too bad, the machine is never produced commercially because of opposition by ice merchants, and he dies broke and humiliated; meanwhile in June the Northern Railroad of N.Y. puts its first "icebox on wheels" into service, and the Ogdensburg and Lake Champlain Railroad begins shipping butter to Boston, Mass. in freight cars carrying ice; too bad, they only work in winter, and dressed beef can't be shipped on ice or it will discolor and lose taste.

In 1851 Japanese inventor Tanaka Hisashige (1799-1881) invents the Myriad (10,000-Year) Clock.

In 1851 German scientist Hermann Ludwig Ferdinand von Helmholtz (1821-94) invents the Opthalmoscope for examining the retina, leading to the medical specialty of opthalmology.

In 1851 Dutch army surgeon Antonius Mathysen (Mathijsen) (1805-78) invents the Plaster of Paris Cast.

In 1851 Isaac Merritt Singer (1811-75) of Boston, Mass. invents the continuous stitch sewing machine.

On May 6, 1851 Linus Yale Jr. (1821-68) of Newport, N.Y. patents the Yale Pin-Tumbler Cylinder Lock (U.S. Patent #8,071).

In 1852 Leopold Delisle (1826-1920) of France pioneers modern paleography.

In 1852 Irish physicist Sir George Gabriel Stokes (1819-1903) describes the phenomenon of fluorescence as exhibited by fluorspar and uranium glass, which converts invisible UV rays into lower frequency visible rays.

The first dirigible, combining balloons with engines? On Sept. 24, 1852 French engineer Baptiste Jules Henri Jacques Giffard (1825-82) launches the first successful engine-powered man-carrying dirigible; it is 144 ft. long and 39 ft. in diam., is inflated with 88 cu. ft. of coal gas, uses a steam engine and propeller, and flies 20 mi. from Paris to Trappe at up to 6.7 mph, becoming the first passenger-carrying airship.

On July 14, 1853 New York City opens the Great Exhibition of Art and Industry (World's Fair) in its own Crystal Palace in Bryant Park, where Vt.-born civil (bed factory) engineer Elisha Graves Otis (1811-61) demonstrates his automatic safety device for stopping an elevator after its supporting cables snap, setting up a manufacturing plant in Yonkers, N.Y. (until 1983); too bad, the fair is a financial failure and loses $300K. In 1861 Graves patents the steam-powered Safety Elevator, then dies on Apr. 8, leaving Otis Elevator Co. to his sons.

In Oct. 1853-Feb. 1856 the Crimean War, caused by Russia's attempt to grab Eastern Orthodox areas of the ailing Muslim Ottoman Empire while France, Britain, and Sardinia try to stop them becomes noted for "confusion of purpose" and "notoriously incompetent international butchery".

In 1853 French physicist Armand Hippolyte Louis Fizeau (1819-96) first describes the use of the capacitor (condenser) to increase the efficiency of an induction coil.

In 1853 French chemist Charles Frederic (Frédéric) Gerhardt (1816-56) discovers Acetylsalicylic Acid, the active ingredient in willow bark, but sets it aside as impractical after his formulation proves unstable; in 1878 Felix Hoffman rediscovers it. In 1890 the non-addictive topical anesthetic Benzocaine is isolated in Germany, and given the trade name Anesthesin. In 1898 Bayer Pharmaceutical Products (founded Aug. 1, 1863) of Darmstadt, Germany begins marketing a new, rather habit-forming cough suppressant formula (good also for laryngitis and TB), with its trademarked drug heroin (diacetylmorphine) as it main ingredient ("Heroin, the medicine for coughs"); the name is derived from the German word heroisch (large, powerful); German chemist Heinrich Dreser (1860-1924) is dir. of research. In 1899 Bayer Co. of Germany patents and trademarks Aspirin, from the "a" in acetyl, and the "spir" in Spiraea ulmaria, the willowleaf meadowsweet, later calling it the "Wonder Drug"; it is sold in powder form, the first tablets being sold in 1915; as part of the 1919 Versailles Treaty Bayer gives up its patents on aspirin and heroin - WWI was one giant headache?

In 1853 Scottish engineer William John Macquorn Rankine (1820-72) coins the term "potential energy" - beam me up?

In 1853 Alexander Wood (1817-84) of Edinburgh, Scotland and Charles Gabriel Pravaz (1791-1853) of France independently develop hypodermic syringes; too bad, they mistakenly believe that morphine that bypasses the stomach isn't addictive, spreading addiction.

In 1853 Condensed (evaporated) milk is invented by Norwich, N.Y.-born Gail Borden Jr. (1801-74) of New York City, and patented on Aug. 19, 1856, marketed under the name Eagle Brand; he goes on to open plants in Conn. and Ill., and sell large quantities to the U.S. military in the U.S. Civil War.

On Sept. 1, 1854 Scottish-born Am. astronomer James Ferguson (1797-1867) discovers 31 Euphrosyne, 12th largest and 5th most massive asteroid in the asteroid belt, named after Greek goddess Euphrosyne (Euthymia) (one of the Three Graces or Charites), becoming the first asteroid discovered from North Am.

On Nov. 27, 1854 Andre-Adolphe-Eugene Disderi (André-Adolphe-Eugène Disdéri) (1819-89) of Paris, France patents Carte-de-Visite Photography, which produces a thin paper photograph mounted on a thicker visiting card-sized (6cm x 9cm) paper card, which doesn't sell until Disderi pub. photos of Emperor Napoleon II in 1859, making it into an overnight success, leading to a worldwide boom in portrait studios known as Cardomania; too bad, he fails to patent it, and after getting wealthy dies broke in an asylum.

In 1854 Pierre Eugene Marcellin Berthelot (1827-1907) of France pub. a doctoral dissertation establishing the structure of fats and glycerin, methods of synthesis, and the nature of polyhydric alcohols. In 1856 he synthesizes methane, becoming the first hydrocarbon prepared in the lab from its basic elements. In 1860 he turns sucrose into glucose and fructose (invertase) with a non-living ferment made from mashed yeast cells, theorizing that all ferments are non-living, but is overruled by Louis Pasteur, who claims a distinction between soluble and cell ferments.

In 1854 English mathematician George Boole (1815-64) of Queen's College in Cork, Ireland pub. An Investigation of the Laws of Thought, on Which Are Founded the Mathematical Theories of Logic and Probabilities, founding Boolean Algebra.

In 1854 Scottish engineer John Elder (1824-69) invents the compound steam engine with two cylinders, which uses one-third less coal; in July the SS Brandon, the first ship with the new engine sails.

In 1854 Spanish singing teacher Manuel Patricio Rodriguez Garcia II (1805-1906) invents the Laryngoscope.

In 1854 German watchmaker Heinrich Goebel invents the first electric light bulb.

In 1854 U.S. Navy doctor Edward Robinson Squibb (1819-1900) invents a method for safely distilling ether for use as an anesthetic, and refuses to patent it; in 1858 he founds E.R. Squibb & Sons to manufacture ether, chloroform, and other pharmaceuticals.

In 1855 German chemist Robert Wilhelm Eberhard Bunsen (1811-99) invents the gas Bunsen Burner, and magnanimously refuses to file a patent application; actually technician Peter Desaga invents it but he takes the credit?

In 1855 pure cystalline Cocaine is extracted from perishable cocoa beans by German chemist Friedrich Georg Carl Gaedcke (1828-90); he calls it erythroxyline.

In 1855 French sociologist Pierre Guillaume Frederic le Play (1806-82)Les Ouvriers Europeens, 36 monograms based on his observations of 300 influential royal families during his travels in 1829; his exhaustive observations spawn the method of case study, esp. when scientists try to work out his bugs.

In 1855 Sir Henry Bessemer (1813-98) of England patents the Bessemer Process for mass production of steel by blasting air through molten pig iron in a large Bessemer container to burn away carbon and other impurities, causing English steel production to zoom, and bringing him total royalties of over £1M, plus all the perks, incl. a knighthood; he even begins manufacturing steel strings for pianos. In 1856 German-born British inventor Sir Charles William Siemens (1823-83) invents the Regenerative Furnace to make ductile steel for high pressure boiler plating. In 1861 he and French engineer Pierre Emile Martin (1824-1915) simultaneously invent the Siemens-Martin Regenerative Open Hearth Process for making steel, which recycles coal gas to preheat the fuel and uses less coal than the Bessemer Process, allowing steel and iron to be produced on a whole new level of quantity and quality, replacing it by 1910.

In 1855 German physicist Johann Heinrich Wilhelm Geissler (1814-79) invents the sealed glass Geissler Tube, which emits a bluish glow when excited by an induction coil, becoming the ancestor of the fluorescent lamp.

In 1855 British-born Ky. music prof. David Edward Hughes (1831-1900) invents the printing telegraph, which is adopted by Western Union and becomes an internat. standard.

In Mar. 1856 18-y.-o. English chemist William Henry Perkin (1838-1907) (later sir), a student of August Wilhelm von Hofmann discovers Mauveine, the first synthetic aniline (coal tar) dye while trying to produce quinine, and files for a patent in Aug., with its cool purple color causing a commercial bonanza, as from ancient times royal Tyrian purple could only be made from mollusc mucous, making him rich and gaining him a knighthood; after Euro countries go into the dye biz, many startling new low-priced colors follow, but unfortunately few are stable and don't fade like his.

In Aug. 1856 the mentally-challenged Neanderthals are discovered in Feldhofer Cave in the Neander Valley between Dusseldorf and Wuppertal in Germany, why did it have to be Germany in Aug.? - white supremacists now have the problem that if they call somebody a Neanderthal they're implicating the modern German white race as stupider than all other modern races?

In 1856 French scientist Louis Pasteur (1822-95) discovers that fermentation is caused by microorganisms, and tries to help the French industry figure out how to stop wine from turning sour (finished 1860). In 1857 he proposes the Germ Theory of Disease, claiming that anthrax is caused by a bacillus; in 1861 he pub. Memoire sur les Corpuscles Organises qui Existent dans l'Atmosphere, discrediting spontaneous generation and promoting the Germ Theory of Disease, making him the world's most famous scientist. In 1860 after grape growers near Tarascon in S France notice decay in vineyards where they may have experimented with cuttings of U.S. vines resistant to powdery mildew, Louis Pasteur proves that abiogenesis doesn't work, and invents Pasteurization for wine, raising it to 120F to kill the smaller type of yeast cells that survive alcohol and keep changing the sugar to lactic acid and turning it sour. In 1865 he is summoned to Alais in S France to investigate a disease that is killing silkworms, and discovers the bacilli causing silkworm disease, then stops the spread of the disease by having infected silkworms killed and removed from contact with the healthy ones, saving the French silk industry.

In 1856 British astronomer Norman Robert Pogson (1829-91) proposes a quantitative scale of stellar magnitudes based on a 100:1 ratio of incoming light energy for every five magnitudes, meaning that each increment of magnitude corresponds to an energy decrease of the fifth root of 100 (2.512); Alpha Centauri comes in at +0.1, Sirius at -1.5, the Moon at -12.5, and the Sun at -26.5; the naked eye can see down to +6.

In 1856 German botanist Nathanael Pringsheim (1823-94) observes sperms entering algae ova - get a life?

In 1856 Parkesine (celluloid), the first manmade plastic is invented by English metallurgist Alexander Parkes (1813-90).

In 1857 English naturalist Philip Henry Gosse (1810-88) pub. Omphalos: An Attempt to Untie the Geological Knot; just as Adam must have had a navel even though he had no mother, so when God created the Big U, he would have created it with a perfectly recursive past?; "The argument is not that fossils were put into rocks to make the world seem older, to confuse geologists or to test people's faith; merely that if the world was created by divine fiat, it could only be created as a going concern, with a created (not faked) past." (Eric Korn); The Westminster Review calls his book "too monstrous for belief", and it is a flop - yet if the Big U is a galactic computer, he would be right?

In 1857 Joseph Gayetty (Coyetty) of the U.S. invents gay, er, Toilet Paper, selling it in packs of 500 for 50 cents, with aloe added as a lubricant, billed as a treatment for hemorrhoids - the ultimate white-black interface, use after coyettus?

In 1858 Stanislao Cannizzaro (1826-1910) of the U. of Genoa first explains the difference between an atom, molecule, and compound, permitting reliable atomic weights to be determined.

In 1858 German chemist Friedrich August Kekule (Kekulé) von Stradonitz (1829-96) and Scottish chemist Archibald Scott Couper (1831-92) independently pub. the theory of chemical bonds, suggesting that carbon is tetravalent, and that carbon-carbon bonds are the key structural feature of organic compounds, becoming the key insight that gets modern organic chemistry cooking? In 1865 von Stradonitz develops Benzene Ring Theory to explain the properties of aromatic compounds, based on a dream about a snake swallowing its own tail.

In 1858 German mathematician August Ferdinand Mobius (Möbius) (1790-1868) and German mathematician Johann Benedict Listing (1808-82) independently discover the Mobius (Möbius) Band (Strip); he doesn't pub. it until 1865 - after exhausting all the military possibilities?

In 1858 Scottish physicist Balfour Stewart (1828-87) pub. the fact that radiation takes place throughout the interior of a radiating body, and that there is a microbalance between radiation and absorption throughout.

On Feb. 2, 1858 Edwin Holmes of Boston, Mass. patents the first practical electric burglar alarm after improving the first patent issued to Augustus Russell Pope on June 21, 1853.

In 1858 the eraser-top pencil is patented by Hyman Lipman of Philadelphia, Penn. - pencil in lip jokes here?

In 1858 Baltimore, Md. mechanic Charles Moncky invents the monkey wrench - just in time to celebrate Darwin?

In 1858 the can opener is patented by Ezra J. Warner of Waterbury, Conn.; it is shaped like a bent bayonet, and is so dangerous that it is operated only by clerks at grocery stores; the first safe can opener is patented in 1870 by William Lyman of West Meriden, Conn.

On Nov. 30, 1858 Am. tinsmith John Landis Mason (1832-1902) of Philly receives U.S. patent #22,186 for an airtight watertight screw-top glass fruit Mason Jar, useful for storing sweetmeats; its use for preserves causes white sugar to replace maple sugar and molasses for home cooking, and causes white sugar usage to double in the U.S. by 1915; he also invents the screw-top salt shaker to make sure that hypertension and diabetes go hand-in-hand?; too bad, his patent expires in 1879, and competitors steal it, and he ends up dying in poverty in a New York City tenement house in 1902.

In 1858 Conn.-born mathematician Elizur Wright (1804-85) reforms life insurance by getting a law passed in Mass. requiring insurance cos. to hold reserve funds based on a formula he discovered, becoming known as "the Father of Life Insurance and Insurance Regulation".

In Aug. 1859 German mathematician Georg Friedrich Bernhard Riemann (1826-66) makes his famous mathematical conjecture known as the Riemann Hypothesis at the Berlin Academy of Science, which is tied with the nature of prime numbers and makes John Nash and a zillion other math geeks spin their wheels all their lives trying to get a $1M prize: "All nontrivial zeroes of the Riemann Zeta Function have real parts equal to 1/2."

On Sept. 1-2, 1859 the Solar (Super) Storm of 1859 (Carrington Event) sees a solar storm induce a geomagnetic solar storm in the Earth's magnetsphere, creating auroras that can be seen from Cuba to Hawaii, so bright that people in the NE U.S. can read their newspapers by its light, and creating an EMP that interferes with telegraphs, but doesn't shut them down; it is all recorded by London, England-born amateur astronomer Richard Christopher Carrington (1826-75), proving the existence of solar flares; in 1863 his observations of sunspots reveal the differential rotation of the Sun.

The Book That Shook the World? Big year for Bible skeptics, secularists, atheistic scientists, anybody against the ancien regime, as Jehovah, the Source of Life Breathed Into Mud is challenged by Godless Evolution, Mud Coming to Life by Itself After It Bubbles Long Enough? The biggest V for the Devil since Eden? The new 95 Theses, but Darwin is smart enough not to publish it on Halloween? On Nov. 24, 1859 (Thur.) English naturalist Charles Robert Darwin (1809-82) pub. On the Origin of Species By Means of Natural Selection, Or, The Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life; the 1st ed. sells out in 1 day; the 1872 6th ed. shortens the title to "The Origin of Species"; the decider, which causes evolutionary "survival of the fittest" theory to triumph among the intelligentsia; English Anglican minister and Cambridge U. prof. of modern history Charles Kingsley (1819-75), who received an advance copy on Nov. 18 writes that he had "long since, from watching the crossing of domesticated animals and plants, learnt to disbelieve the dogma of the permanence of the species", which Darwin adds to the next ed. of his book in a modified form: "He had gradually learned to see that it is just as noble a conception of the Deity to believe that He created a few original forms capable of self-development into other and needful forms, as to believe that He required a fresh act of creation to supply the voids caused by the action of His laws"; Darwin pub. it after spending eight years dissecting barnacles in his basement, then inexplicably switching to the Galapagos finch?; catches on first in Germany among atheists?; "If it could be demonstrated that any complex organ existed, which could not possibly have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down"; Louis Agassiz of the U.S. opposes Darwin, preferring a theory of "Epochs of Creation", based on the absence of missing links between layers of well-formed fossil ecosystems; the phrase "I'll be a monkey's uncle" is coined by Darwin skeptics; "There is a grandeur in this view of life that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved"; what was that about "my theory would absolutely break down" if anything is found that can't be explained by "numerous, successive, slight modifications"?; in practice Darwinism becomes a religion which denies that there is intelligent design in Nature, and therefore tries to deconstruct any evidence of it they find as they go along, yet clings to the notion of common descent, almost as if there was some original, er, accident, and ends up turning into a narrow naturalistic dogma by the end of the 20th cent., taking over U.S. and other Western educational systems with a chilling priesthood? In 1860 after failing to fit it into his Theory of Evolution, Darwin writes the immortal soundbyte: "The sight of a feather in a peacock's tail makes me sick." On Feb. 1, 1871 he writes a Letter to Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker, with the soundbyte: "It is often said that all the conditions for the first production of a living organism are now present, which could ever have been present. But if (and oh! what a big if!) we could conceive in some warm little pond, with all sorts of ammonia and phosphoric salts, light, heat, electricity, &c., present, that a protein compound was chemically formed ready to undergo still more complex changes, at the present day such matter would be instantly absorbed, which would not have been the case before living creatures were found." On Feb. 24, 1871 he pub. The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex, which applies his theory of evolution to humans; "The Simidae then branched off into two great stems, the New World and the Old World monkeys; and from the latter at a remote period, Man, the wonder and glory of the universe, proceeded"; "We civilized men... do our utmost to check the process of elimination; we build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed, and the sick; we institute poor laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of everyone to the last moment... Thus the weak members of civilized societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but excepting in the case of man himself, hardly anyone is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed"; attempts to scientifically establish white racial supremacy, with the soundbytes: "Western nations of Europe immeasurably surpass their former savage progenitors and stand at the summit of civilization"; "American aborigines, Negroes, and Europeans differ as much from each other in mind as any three races that can be named"; "Looking to future generations, there is no cause to fear that the social instincts will grow weaker, and we may expect that virtuous habits will grow stronger, becoming perhaps fixed by inheritance... [so that] virtue will be triumphant"; "It is the most closely allied forms... which, from having nearly the same structure, constitution, and habits, generally come into the severest competition with each other; consequently, each new variety of species, during the progress of its formation, will generally press hardest on its nearest kindred, and tend to exterminate them"; "This is the book that contains the foundation in natural history for our view" (Marx to Engels); this book is later used by Eugenicists to justify euthanasia of misfits, using soundbytes incl. "We civilized men... do our utmost to check the process of elimination; we build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed, and the sick; we institute poor laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of everyone to the last moment... Thus the weak members of civilized societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but excepting in the case of man himself, hardly anyone is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed.... All do good service who aid toward this end."

In 1859 Heidelberg U. profs. Robert Wilhelm Eberhard Bunsen (1811-99) (1855 inventor of the Bunsen Burner) and Gustav Robert Kirchhoff (1824-87) team up and begin experimenting with spectrum analysis after Kirchhoff's Three Laws of Spectroscopy is announced, that if a body absorbs light of a certain wavelength, it emits the same wavelength (thus the dark Fraunhaufer lines in the solar spectrum are caused by elements in the Sun absorbing various wavelengths, and if one can find elements on Earth that give bright emission lines at these same wavelengths, the composition of the Sun can be deduced without having to visit it and vaporize first). In 1860 they discover the elements Cesium (Cs) (#55) (most electropositive element) and Rubidium (Rb) (#37), both of which ignite spontaneously in air, becoming the first time that spectroscopic identification is used to prove the existence of new elements; their book Chemical Analysis by Observation of Spectra causes spectral analysis to become an instant sensation.

In 1859 German physician Albert Niemann (1834-61) of the U. of Gottingen improves the coca purification process and names the alkaloid cocaine, the active agent in the leaves of the coca plant, first isolated in 1855; its molecular formula C17H21NO4 is pub. in 1863 by colleague Wilhelm C. Lossen (1838-1906).

In 1859 Irish physicist John Tyndall (1820-93) discovers that gases incl. water vapor and CO2 can absorb infrared radiation, and suggests that they could be used to bring climate change, AKA the Greenhouse Effect, going further in a lecture on Feb. 7, 1861, claiming that changes in CO2 and H20 in the atmosphere explain all climate changes so far identified by geological research - all ahead full?

On Apr. 19, 1860 the first sound recording is made on a Phonautograph (which records sound visually not aurally), a 10-sec. recording of "Au Clair de la Lune" by 1857 inventor Edouard-Leon Scott de Martinville (1817-79), a Parisian typesetter; in Mar. 2008 Lawrence Berkeley Nat. Lab scientists convert it to sound.

On Sept. 3-5, 1860 the Karlsruhe Congress in Germany of Euro scientists utilizes the results of the work of Stanislao Cannizzaro of Italy to standardize the atomic weight of hydrogen as about 1, helping chemistry leap ahead.

In 1860 Ludwig Boltzmann (1844-1906) of Austria and James Clerk Maxwell (1831-79) of Scotland begin the development of Statistical Mechanics, treating gas as a collection of huge numbers of billiard balls obeying Newton's Laws of Motion. In 1861 Maxwell pub. the paper On Physical Lines of Force in Philosophical Mag., first describing Maxwell's Equations, four partial differential equations which contain a combined theory unifying all partial theories of electricity and magnetism, showing that a magnetic field generates an electric field and vice-versa, forming a pulse which propagates at the speed of light, and that therefore light is an electromagnetic wave, and furthermore that light can only travel at the speed c, and furthermore that the speed of the source of the light doesn't affect it, becoming one of the greatest leaps of thought in history; they are first pub. as a distinct group in 1884 by Oliver Heaviside and Willard Gibbs - the potato salad of physics?

In 1860 Dutch opthalmologist Franciscus Cornelis Donders (1818-89) introduces prismatic and cylindrical lenses for treatment of astigmatism.

On Oct. 16, 1860 the .44 cal lever-action Henry Repeating Rifle is patented in the U.S. by Benjamin Tyler Henry (1821-98), making the breech-loading rifles look lame, but is slow to be adopted because it is thought to waste expensive ammo, and the first ones are used by the U.S. Army in mid-1862; Oliver Winchester steals the design for the Model 1866 repeating rifle, with an added loading gate on the side and a wooden forearm; too bad, the Sioux and Cheyenne get their hands on some, and use it against Custer at the June 1876 Battle of Little Bighorn.

In 1860 Christopher Spencer invents the .56-56 magazine-fed lever-operated Spencer Repeating Rifle, which the U.S. military is slow to adopt despite Pres. Lincoln requesting a personal demo on the White House lawn soon after the Battle of Gettysurg, and ordering Gen. James Wolfe Ripley (1794-1870) to adopt it for production, who stalls, causing him to be replaced as head of the ordnance dept. on Sept. 15, 1863; meanwhile some units purchase the rifles independently, and it proves popular; the fact that his nephew Roswell Sabine Ripley (1823-87) is a brig. gen in the Confed. army has nothing to do with it?

In 1860 "Autocrat of the Breakfast Table" Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. (1809-84) of the U.S. invents an improved hand-held Skeleton Stereoscope, and donates it to the public domain, with the soundbyte "It is no toy; it is a divine gift, placed in our hands by science"; by 1869 it becomes popular.

In 1860 Samuel Archer King (1828-1914) and William Black take the first aerial photographs, two Photos of Boston, Mass. from a Balloon, which survive to modern times.

Fat whitey won't have to ride a horse much longer? In 1860 Jean Joseph Etienne Lenoir (1822-1900) of Luxembourg constructs the first practical internal-combustion engine, an 18 liter 1-cylinder 2-stroke mechanism burning coal gas and air and ignited by a "jumping spark" ignition system, producing 2 hp at 4% efficiency; he forms the Gauthier Co. to produce a 3-wheeled automobile, which, although noisy and unreliable causes Scientific American to pronounce the Steam Age at an end; by 1865 he builds 143 of them; meanwhile in 1863 he adds a carburetor; too bad, he fails to keep up with Nikolaus Otto et al. and his design becomes obsolete, and he dies broke. In 1862 German engineer Nikolaus August Otto (1832-91) patents a crude 2-stroke internal combustion gasoline engine with a carburetor based on the 1860 illuminating gas engine of Etienne Lenoir of Belgum; German entrepreneur Eugen Langen (1833-95) partners with him to found NA Otto & Cie, the world's first engine factory; the 1867 Paris World Exhibition awards the engine their grand prize; too bad, the factory goes bankrupt, and Eugen goes on to found the Deutz factory, which later becomes Kloeckner-Humboldt-Deutz (KHD), later renamed Deutz AG.

On Aug. 28, 1860 Hamilton E. Smith of Philly patents (#29830) a hand-cranked Washing Machine with paddles that push the laundry through the water; it takes until 1910 to add an electric motor.

In 1860 English inventor Sir Joseph Wilson Swan (1828-1914) invents the Carbon-Filament Incandescent Lightbulb, but it is defective (partial vacuum only) and he doesn't perfect it until 1878, receiving patent #4933 on Nov. 27, 1880.

In 1860 English rubber manufacturer Frederick Edward Walton (1834-1928) patents Linoleum, (Lat. "linum" + "oleum" = flax + oil) made of linseed oil, which he calls Kampticon to compete against rival Kamptulicon (patented in 1843), patenting it in 1863; it becomes the first widely-used smooth surface floor covering. In 1877 he invents Lincrusta, a heavily embossed wall covering made from gelled linseed oil and wood flour that becomes popular in royal homes and railway carriages.

On Apr. 12, 1861-May 9, 1865 the horrific U.S. Civil War sees the invention of the first modern weapon when N.C.-born agricultural equipment maker Richard Jordan Gatling (1818-1903) patents the 10-barrel hand-cranked hundreds-of-rounds-per-min. Gatling Gun (the first practical machine gun) just in time for use on some Johnny Rebs; it is first used by the Union Army in 1864, but luckily never sees extensive use.

In 1861 French neurologist Pierre Paul Broca (1824-80) discovers Broca's Area in the brain, the first to be connected with a specific function, the faculty of speech.

On Mar. 30, 1861 Sir William Crookes (1832-1910) of England (who inherited a fortune in 1856 and set up his own lab in London) uses a spectroscope to discover soft bluish-white metallic element Thallium (Tl) (#81) (Gr. "thallos" = green shoot or twig, from its bright green spectral line) (Thalia = Greek muse of comedy and pastoral poetry) in selenium ore; it is also present in flue dust from the burning of pyrites; it goes on to become a favorite poison of crookes and spies (KGB, etc.), and a good rat poison.

In 1861 Austrian chemist Johann Joseph Loschmidt (1821-95) extends Archibald Scott Couper's idea of using single lines to represent single bonds in organic chemical formulas to using double lines for double bonds, etc. - clarity with no loss of schmidt?

In 1861 German physiologist Karl von Voit (1831-1908) demonstrates that different foods do not provide energy for different body functions, and that proteins break down at the same speed whether or not work is being done. In 1865 he shows that the pathways by which food is converted to energy are complicated, and food is not simply burned to produce energy, but many intermediate reactions take place.

In 1862 Swedish physicist Anders Jonas Angstrom (1814-74) proves that the Sun's atmosphere contains hydrogen. In 1867 he becomes the first to examine the spectrum of the aurora borealis, and detects its characteristic bright line in the yellow-green region, falsely claiming it also shows up in the zodiacal light. In 1868 he pub. Researches on the Solar Spectrum, a monumental work mapping the Solar spectrum, giving the wavelengths of 1K Fraunhofer lines to six significant figures in units of 10**-10 (10E-6) m, which is later named the Angstrom unit.

In 1862 German botanist Julius von Sachs (1832-97) discovers that starch is produced by photosynthesis. In 1865 he discovers that chlorophyll in plants is found only in small bodies (later termed chloroplasts), and that chlorophyll is the key compound in combining carbon dioxide and oxygen to produce starch while releasing more oxygen.

In 1862 Dutch opthalmologist Hermann Snellen (1834-1908) introduces the Snellen Chart to test visual acuity, consisting of 11 lines of "optotypes" (specially-designed letters, using only CDEFLOPTZ; line #8 is for 20/20 vision).

On Mar. 8, 1862 in a Confed. attempt to raise the blockade of the James and Elizabeth Rivers, the Battle of Hampton Roads, Va. sees the rebels' secret veapon, the ironclad ship Merrimack (Merrimac) (renamed Virginia) (first U.S. Navy ship with rotating gun turrets), commanded by Franklin Buchanan (1800-74) (whose portrait bears a striking resemblance to Hollywood actor Dennis Hopper (1936-)?) destroy the Congress and three smaller vessels, then ram and sink the Cumberland, proving the superiority of ironclads over wooden warships; but never fear, during the night the Yankee secret counterweapon, ironclad ship Monitor arrives, and on Mar. 9 the two battlestars. er, ironclads fight the Battle of the Ironclads for 5-6 hours to a draw (or a Union V, depending on who tells it) (blame it on the tides?); the Union Monitor, built by the Rensselaer and Corning Iron Works in Troy, N.Y., owned by John F. Winslow (1810-92) (ancestor of TLW?), and which is used as the pattern for 60 more Union Civil War ironclads founders off the coast of Cape Hatteras on Dec. 31 while being towed; it is located in 1973 at 230 ft., and the 120-ton turret raised in June, 2002.

In 1863 German chemists Ferdinand Reich (1799-1882) and Hieonymus Theodor Richter (1824-98) discover the metallic element Indium (In) (#49) using spectroscopy - rich rectal spectroscopy?

In 1863 Scottish chemist Thomas Graham (1805-69) invents a process for separating gases by atmolysis based on Graham's Law of Gas Diffusion (Effusion).

In 1863 Cato Maximilian Guldberg (1836-1902) and Peter Waage (1833-1900) of Norway first describe chemical equilibrium as a dynamic condition where the rates of forward and reverse reactions are equal. In 1864 Waage pub. the Chemical Law of Mass Action - who first published the political one?

In 1863 English chemist John Alexander Reina Newlands (1837-98) (who just returned from fighting for Giuseppe Garibaldi in Italy) pub. the first Periodic Table of the Elements arranged in order of relative atomic masses, leaving open the possibly of undiscovered elements, and predicting the existence of germanium, scooping Dmitri Mendeleyev of Russia, although he is ridiculed.

In 1863 Henry Clifton Sorby (1826-1908) of Sheffield, England discovers the microstructure of steel, founding the science of Metallurgy.

In 1863 German chemist Julius Bernhard Friedrich Adolph Wilbrand (1839-1906) invents TNT (Trinitrotoluene) as a yellow dye; it takes until ? to use it as an explosive; the German army begins using it for artillery shells in 1902, followed by the British in 1907.

In 1863 Corsican-born Italian chemist Angelo (Ange-Francois) Mariani (1838-1914) develops Vin Mariani, containing Bordeaux wine and cocaine, which becomes a hit with Queen Victoria, Pope Pius X, Thomas Edison, and Pope Leo XIII, who awards it a Vatican gold medal; in 1865 after being wounded in the Battle of Columbus, Ga. in Apr. 1865, Atlanta, Ga. pharmacist John Styth (Stith) Pemberton (1831-81) creates his own version also containing damiana (alleged impotence cure) and kola nut (source of caffeine) called Pemberton's French Wine Coca, which is reformulated in 1885 to take out the alcohol but not the cocaine or caffeine, becoming "the pause that refreshes" Coca-Cola.

On Feb. 20, 1864 Washington, D.C. dentist Mahlon Loomis (1826-86) pub. the earliest description of an Electromagnetic (Radio) Transmission System (Wireless Telegraphy), containing the soundbyte: "A process by which telegraphic communications may be made across the ocean without any wires, and also point to point on the earth, dispensing with wires", demonstrating it in Oct. 1866 between two kites 14 mi. apart in Bear's Dean, Loudoun County; on July 20, 1872 he receives U.S. patent 129,971 ("Improvement in Telegraphing"), making him the inventor of radio? On July 20, 1872 he patents Wireless Telegraphy, U.S. patent 129,971 ("Improvement in Telegraphing"): "What I claim as my invention or discovery, and desire to secure by Letters Patent, is: The utilization of natural electricity from elevated points by connecting the opposite polarity of the celestial and terrestrial bodies of electricity at different points by suitable conductors, and, for telegraphic purposes, relying upon the disturbance produced in the two electro-opposite bodies (of the earth and atmosphere) by an interruption of the continuity of one of the conductors from the electrical body being indicated upon its opposite or corresponding terminus, and thus producing a circuit or communication between the two without an artificial battery or the further use of wires or cables to connect the co-operating stations"; too bad, he never builds any apparatus, and his claim is jumped by William Henry Ward, who receives a patent on Apr. 30; in Jan. 1872 the U.S. Congress hears Loomis' plea to charter the Loomis Aerial Telegraph Co. and turns him down.

In 1864 George Mortimer Pullman (1831-97) of the U.S. invents the Railroad Sleeping Car - a Pullman Sleeping Car, almost as good as Boyle's Law and Hooke's Law for perfect surname to go with invention? When he dies, he is entombed in a room-sized block of concrete to prevent angry railroad workers from getting to him.

In 1864 Maine-borne shoemaker Benjamin Franklin Sturtevant (1833-90) invents the first commercially-successful rotary exhaust fan, patenting it in 1867, building the world's largest manufacturing plant in Jamaica Plain, Mass. in 1878, with 400 workers; after he dies his son-in-law Eugene Noble Foss takes over the business, moving it to Hyde Park, N.Y. around 1900 then resigning to become gov. of Mass. in 1910-13, with the plant going on to manufacture Am. Napier automobiles in 1904-9 and military aircraft in 1915-18 before being purchased by Westinghouse in 1945.

In 1865 Sir William Huggins (1824-1910) of England demonstrates spectroscopically that light from the Andromeda Galaxy (M31) comes from stars and not from gas clouds, although other nebulae produce light that is characteristic of glowing gases. In 1868 he calculates the radial velocity of the star Sirius from its slight red spectral shift.

In 1865 after reading Louis Pasteur's 1861 paper and creating a sprayer to create a mist of carbolic acid (phenol), English surgeon Sir Joseph Lister (1827-1912) performs the first antiseptic surgery in Glasgow during the treatment of a compound fracture; in 1867 he pub. On the Antiseptic Principle in the Practice of Surgery; his method goes on to reduce the surgical death rate from 45% to 15%; too bad, it's too late for U.S. Civil War use.

In 1865 Austrian Augustinian monk (abbot) Gregor Johann Mendel (1822-84) pub. Mendel's Laws of Heredity ("In any given pair of contrasting traits, one trait is dominant and the other recessive" et al.), establishing the principle of basic units called genes, based on laborious experiments begun in 1857 on peas in the monastery garden in Brunn, incl. the principles of unit characters, dominance and recessiveness, segregation, and free assortment; pub. in the obscure Transactions of the Brunn Nat. History Society, they go almost unnoticed by biologists until 1900; meanwhile Charles Victor Naudin (1815-99) of France finds certain regularities in the inheritance of characteristics in plant hybridization experiments, but misses the big picture - and then it's McDonald's McGriddles, breakfast snack for you, bedtime snack for me? It's a breeze to correct the botanists who laid an egg? Skipping ahead, in 1900 European botanists Hugo Marie De Vries (1848-1935) of Holland, Karl (Carl) Erich Correns (1864-1933) of Germany, and Erich Tschermak von Seysenegg (von Tschermak-Seysenegg) (1871-1962) of Austria discover and confirm Mendel's 1865 research reports concerning pea plants and how inherited traits are determined by two "hereditary units", leading them to connect the new chromosomes discovered this year in cell nuclei to his work; English botanist William Bateson (1861-1926) becomes the main popularizer, coining the term "genetics" in 1905; Erich's brother Armin Eduard Gustav Tschermak von Sysenegg (1870-1952) also contributed, but didn't take credit? - this morning my hair was straight, then Greg called?

In 1865 Belgian scientist Jean Servais Stas (1813-91) produces the first modern table of atomic weights, using oxygen as the index (set at 16), and shows conclusively that atomic weights are not always integral.

In 1865 Prussian-born German mathematician Karl Weierstrass (1815-97) proves the Bolzano-Weierstrass Theorem, that every bounded infinite set of points in a Euclidean space has at least one accumulation point, for which every neighborhood of that point contains a point in the set; it was proved earlier by Austrian Roman Catholic priest-mathematician Bernhard (Bernardus Placidus Johann Nepomuk) Bolzano (1781-1848), so they share credit; the theorem becomes the basis of the modern theory underlying mathematical limits, the unyummiest subject for college math students.

In 1865 Irish historian William Edward Hartpole Lecky (1838-1903) pub. A History of the Rise and Influence of Rationalism in Europe, describing the fall of Church-think to the onslaught of Science; makes it sound like Science is the way out of all our problems?

See why everyone is talking about Veronica Bismars and Needle Dick? On Apr. 8, 1866 Prussian PM (since 1862) Otto von Bismarck (1815-98) allies Prussia with Italy, then on June 9 sends Prussian troops from Schlesweg into Holstein to drive Austria out and annex it, starting the Seven Weeks' War between Prussia and Italy against Austria when Austria chickens out and withdraws its forces from Holstein without a battle, Bismarck waits for it to make a mistake, and on June 14 the Diet of Frankfurt passes a Bavarian motion to mobilize all non-Prussian and non-Austrian forces, causing Bismarck to declare the Federal Act violated and start a war with the South German states, quickly winning, then along with Italy declaring war on Austria; on June 15 the Prussians defeat Hanover at the Battle of Bad Langensalza; on June 24 the Italians under Gen. Enrico Calidini are defeated at the Battle of Custozza; Austria, thinking it can kick Prussia's butt easily, makes a secret treaty with France to sit it out; too bad, the Prussians under Gen. Helmuth von Moltke surprise the Austrians with secret veapons, viz. the use of railroads for rapid troop deployment, the use of breech-loading Needle Guns which can fire 4x as fast as the Austrian muzzle-loaders, and pre-measured mobile bridges in case the Austrians destroy the real ones, and on July 3 they win a decisive V at the 450K-man Battle of Koniggratz (Sadowa) (in NW Czech. near modern-day Hradec Kralove) despite massed steel-rifled cannon barrage fire, ending the effectiveness of cavalry regiments and presaging the fun to come in WWI; "The needle gun is king" (London Times).

In 1866 non-Jewish Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel (1833-96) discovers dy-no-mite Dynamite, which he calls "Improved Explosive Compound", uttering the immortal soundbyte: "I should like to invent a substance or machine with such terrible power of mass destruction that war would thereby be made impossible forever"; he receives a patent on Nov. 25, 1867, insuring vast riches as his prediction proves to work out the opposite, and in 1888 after reading his obituary he decides to create the Nobel Prizes in his will - sorry, you can't take it with you to Hell?

In 1866 German inventor Ernst Werner von Siemens (1816-92), brother of Sir Charles William Siemens (1823-83) and Carl Heinrich von Siemens (1829-1906) invents the Electric Dynamo, which uses electromagnets instead of permanent magnets, causing the Siemens Co. (founded 1847) to grow into a giant.

In 1866 English engineer Robert Whitehead (1823-1905) invents the self-propelled Underwater Torpedo - combined with dynamite, this will make war possible for a long time to come?

In 1866 the breech-loaded rifle is developed in the U.S., England, France, and Germany, replacing the muzzle-loaded rifle developed ca. 1475.

In 1867 Mooresburg, Penn.-born inventor Christopher Latham Sholes (1819-90) of Milwaukee, Wisc. invents the modern Sholes Typewriter ("Type-Writer"), and receives a patent on June 23, 1868; too bad, it prints on the reverse side of the paper; he also devises the infamous QWERTY keyboard arrangement in 1874, and adds upper and lower case letters in 1878. In 1873 the gunmaking firm of E. Remington & Sons (founddd 1816) begins to produce Sholes and Glidden typewriters using the QWERTY keyboard arrangement of Christopher Sholes; they still print on the reverse side of the paper. In 1880 Am. journalist James Bartlett Hammond (1839-1913) of Vt. patents one of the first typewriters constructed on scientific principles with a typewheel and true alignment, and begins marketing it in 1884, making a fortune. In 1893 the Underwood No. 1 Typewriter goes on sale, featuring visible typing on the front side of the paper, plus an accelerating sublever for faster speed, taking the market from Remington; it still uses the QWERTY keyboard arrangement.

On Oct. 11, 1868 Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) applies for his first little patty pat patent, an Electrical Vote Recorder, then quits Western Union next year to go full-time in the inventing biz.

In 1868 after an eclipse, French astronomer Pierre Jules Cesar (César) Janssen (1824-1907), along with English chemist Sir Edward Frankland (1825-99) and English astronomer Sir Joseph Norman Lockyer (1836-1920) of England discover a new element in the Sun's chromosphere which they call Helium (He) (#2); it takes until 1895 for Sir William Ramsay to prove that it exists on Earth.

In 1868 English naval engineer William Froude (1810-79) pub. the definition of the Froude Number (ratio of inertial force on a fluid element to its weight), a kind of Mach number for ships that allows model ships to be used in hull design tests.

In 1868 the first remains of the Cro-Magnons are discovered in Les Eyzies, Dordogne, France by French paleontologist Louis Lartet (1840-99), declaring them the first homo sapiens in Europe, and the successor of Neanderthal man, living about -45K; later the term European Early Modern Humans is preferred.

In 1868 Detroit, Mich. meatpacker George Henry Hammond (1838-86) patents a refrigerator car that suspends beef carcasses above an ice-salt mixture, building sales to $2M by 1875, and causing the town of Hammond, Ind. to be named after him before moving to Omaha, Neb. and building up to 800 cars; too bad, the carcasses swing when going around curves, causing derailment.

On Nov. 28, 1868 French inventor Louis Arthur Ducos du Hauron (1837-1920) patents color photography; in 1872 he takes the color photo Landscape of Southern France (Angouleme) using the subractive method (yellow-cyan-magenta); meanwhile on May 7, 1869 French poet Charles Cros (1842-88) pub. Solution Generale du Probleme de la Photographie des Couleurs, an independent invention of color photography; in 1877 he invents Paleophone, which reproduces recorded sound using photoengraving, beating Thomas Edison to the punch but failing to build a working model.

In 1868 the first traffic signal is installed outside the Houses of Parliament in London, consisting of two semaphore arms plus red-green gas lamps for night use; too bad, it soon blows up, killing a bobby.

In 1868 George F. Green of the U.S. devises a pneumatic Dental Drill, followed by an electric drill in 1874, which he patents Jan. 26, 1875.

On Mar. 5, 1868 Charles Henry Gould patents the Stapler - 3-5-68, staple that in your 7 golden memories?

In 1868 John K. Mayo invents Plywood - sounds like a termite sandwich?

In 1868 Edmund McIlhenny (1815-90), who moved in with his in-laws on their ruined plantation on Avery Island, La. (known for its salt mines) after the U.S. Civil War and began planting C Am. peppers begins making Tabasco brand pepper sauce, obtaining a patent in 1870.

In 1868 Ernest Sylvain of France patents the Eolienne Bollee (Éolienne Bollée), a wind turbine with a stator and rotor like a water turbine.

On Mar. 1, 1869 (Feb. 17 Old Style) Russian chemist Dmitri Ivanovich Mendeleyev (Mendeleev) (1834-1907) pub. the Periodic Law and the Periodic Table of the Elements, which future chemistry students are face-forked with, boldly making room for the missing element gallium; its appearance is influenced by the new game of Solitaire? - so, village atheist, if everything happened by chance, and there is no intelligent designer, why is there a mathematical code behind matter itself? In 1871 Mendeleyev pub. The Periodic Regularities of the Chemical Elements, which boldly predicts that some accepted atomic weights are grossly in error, and other elements yet to be discovered will plug up gaps in his Periodic Table. Which chemical element is named for a cock? In 1875 using zinc blende from the Pyrenees, French chemist Paul-Emile (Francois) Lecoq de Boisbaudran (1838-1912) discovers the metallic element Gallium (#31) (Ga), which resembles aluminum but can be cut with a knife (melting point 30.15 deg C), right where Mendelyeev had predicted an element with these properties would be found in a gap in the Periodic Table; he suggests the name "eka aluminum" for it, but the name gallium is chosen as a pun on the Latin word gallus (cock).

On Nov. 4, 1869 Thomas Henry Huxley and Joseph Lockyer begin pub. Nature mag. in England, going on to become the world's most cited scientific journal by the 21st cent.

In 1869 Russian chemist Vladimir Vasilyevich Markovnikov (Markownikoff) (1838-1904) develops the "rich get richer, poor get poorer" Markovnikov's (Markownikoff's) Rule, which states that in reactions of alkenes (olefins) (molecules containing a carbon-carbon double bond) and vinyl halides (H-X), the nucleophilic halide X group tends to attach to the carbon atom in the double bond with the fewest hydrogen atoms bonded to it, while the acidic proton H tends to attach to the carbon atom in the double bond with the most hydrogen atoms attached to it, e.g., CH3-CH=CH2 + HBr -> CH3CBrHCH3, because the left C has 1 H and the right C has 2 Hs (the CH3 is irrelevant); the rule extends to reactions of an alkene with an alcohol, with the hydroxyl (OH) group bonding to the C in the double bond with the greatest number of C-C bonds, and the H bonding to the C at the other end of the double bond.

In 1869 German physicist Ernst Karl Abbe (1840-1905) invents the Refractometer for determining the relative refractive index of substances.

In 1869 Belgian engineer Zenobe Theophile (Zénobe Théophile) Gramme (1826-1901) invents the Gramme Machine, a DC dynamo capable of generating smoother and higher voltages; in 1873 he accidentally discovers that it spins when connected to a DC power supply,creating the first electric motor powerful enough for industrial use. In 1879 he and Hippolyte Fontaine invent the Electric Alternator.

In 1869 John Wesley Hyatt (1837-1920) of N.Y. (1865 inventor of the Parkesine Composition Billiard Ball) patents a process for mass-producing celluloid, which becomes the first industrial plastic.

In 1869 English economist William Stanley Jevons (1835-82) invents the Logic Piano, a mechanical computer.

In 1869 Margaret E. Knight (1838-1914) of Springfield, Mass. invents the machinery to produce the Flat-Bottomed Paper Bag, which becomes a commercial phenomenon, although she receives so little compensation that her estate is valued at $275.05 at her death. On June 12, 1883 Charles Stilwell of Fremont, Ohio patents a machine to mass-produce brown paper bags with square bottoms and pleated sides called "S.O.S." (self-opening sacks); by 2000 40B are used in the U.S. each year.

On July 2, 1869 after founding the Aerial Steam Navigation co. in 1866, English-born Am. inventor Frederick Marriott (1805-84) conducts a public test of his flying machine The Flying (Hermes) Avitor Jr., becoming the first powered flight of a heavier-than-air craft on the Am. side of the Atlantic, inventing the term "aeroplane", intending to build an airline to shuttle passengers between New York City and Calif. until the stock market crashes on Sept. 24, 1869.

On June 8, 1869 Ives W. McGaffey of Chicago, Ill. patents the Manually-Powered Vacuum Cleaner ("sweeping machine").

In 1869 French chemist Hippolyte Mege-Mouries (Mège-Mouriés) (1817-80) invents Oleomargarine (Margarine) to win a prize offered by emperor Louis III Napoleon.

In 1869 exiled ex-Mexican pres. (1833-55) Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna (1794-1876) of Alamo fame introduces Chicle Chewing Gum (an old Aztec favorite) to Yankee Thomas Adams of Staten Island, N.Y., who puts it on sale in drug stores in Feb. 1871 for 1 cent apiece; in 1889 he forms the Am. Chicle Co., and by 1929 it has $60M sales, and $140M in 1942; too bad, chicleros begin adulterating their product, causing artificial chicle to replace it by the 1960s.

In 1869 Am. Baptist minister Jonathan Scobie allegedly invents the Rickshaw in Yokohama, Japan to transport his invalid wife through the city streets.

On Feb. 2, 1870 the Cardiff Giant, discovered in Cardiff, N.Y. on Oct. 16, 1869 and believed by experts to be a petrified human is revealed to a carved gypsum hoaxy hoax ha ha ha hoax, carved in 1868 from gypsum beds in Ft. Dodge, Iowa on the Des Moines River by tobacconist George Hull, an atheist who got into an argument with a Bible-thumper over Gen. 6:4 ("There were giants in the Earth in those days"); he invests $2.6K to make it and gets $37.5K from Syracuse businessmen to exhibit it.

In 1870 French surgeon Alphonse Guerin (Guérin) (1816-95) introduces the practice of using cotton-wool (cotton wadding) bandages for the prevention of wound infections.

In 1870 German engineer Carl Paul Gottfried von Linde (1842-1934) invents the first commercially viable refrigeration equipment, completing the first working model of an ammonia cold machine in 1873 before founding a co. in 1878, patenting it on June 1, 1880, and selling 747 machines by 1890, helping the growth of the beermaking, meatpacking and other industries, shifting drinking patterns away from whiskey and filling cities with saloons, pissing-off temperance activists; the first Linde ice machine is installed in 1875 in the Spaten Brewery in Munich, Germany; the first Linde ice machine imported to the U.S. is purchased in Switzerland in 1885 by Schlitz Brewing Co.

In 1870 William Lyman of West Meriden, Conn. patents the first safe can opener - thank you for nothing says how many thousand severed fingers?

In 1872 the first time-sequence photography of a horse in motion is made by English-born Am. landscape photographer Eadweard James Muybridge (1830-1904) using his zoopraxiscope to win a $25K bet over whether all four hooves ever leave the ground at the same time (yes); he only comes up with a single still shot this year, but shoots a galloping sequence by 1878.

In 1871 St. Petersburg, Russia-born German mathematician Georg Ferdinand Ludwig Philipp Cantor (1845-1918) founds the Theory of Point Sets, then next year becomes a prof. at the U. of Halle, going on to develop the Theory of Transfinite Numbers, which are larger than all finite numbers, but not necessarily absolutely infinite. In 1873 he proves that the rational numbers are countable (can be put into 1-1 correspondence with the natural numbers), and that the real numbers are not - that would make them unreal, or does real mean not natural? In 1878 he proposes the Continuum Hypothesis, that there is no set whose cardinality is strictly between that of the integers and that of the real numbers, which his teacher Leopold Kronecker vehemently opposes, causing him to spend the rest of his life vainly trying to prove it, driving him insane. On Jan. 6, 1918 German "funky infinities" mathematician Georg Cantor (b. 1845) dies in a sanatorium after going mad trying to prove his 1878 Continuum Hypothesis; in 1940 Kurt Godel proves that it can't be disproven using the axioms of Zermelo-Fraenkel Set Theory, and in 1963 Paul Cohen proves that it can't be proven.

In 1870 William Lyman of West Meriden, Conn. patents the first safe can opener - thank you for nothing says how many thousand severed fingers?

In 1870 Am. architect William Robert Ware (1832-1915) invents the Instant-Running Voting System, which is adopted in several English-speaking countries.

in 1870 the Middling Purifier, with a roller processor to separate bran from flour is invented in Minneapolis, Minn., producing superior flour.

In 1870 the Navel Orange is developed in Riverside, Calif. from a pair of Brazilian saplings.

In the 1870s steel blades are developed for windmills in the U.S., increasing their efficiency; between 1850 and 1970 over 6M windmill machines are installed in the U.S. Baked porcelain inlays come into use for filling large cavities.

In 1871 the first Electronic (Telegraph) Money Transfers become available from Western Union.

In 1871 Simon Ingersoll (1818-94) of the U.S. invents the Pneumatic Rock Drill; in 1905 his Ingersoll Rock Drill Co. merges with the Rand Drill Co. to form Ingersoll-Rand - finally immigrant Chinese have something to do besides cook and wash and hook?

In 1871 Francis Herbert Wenham (1824-1908) of the U.S. invents the Wind Tunnel.

In 1872 German-Austrian surgeon Christian Albert Theodor Billroth (1829-94) makes the first Resection of the Esophagus. In 1874 he discovers Streptococci and Staphylococci.

In 1872 Richard Dedekind (1831-1916) rigorously defines irrational numbers arithmetically via the Dedekind Cut, a downward closed set without a greatest element, i.e., (-infinity, b) and [b, +infinity) - sounds like the coup de grace?

In 1872 Am. astronomer Asaph Hall (1829-2907) pub. an article on the experimental determination of pi by throwing a fine steel wire randomly onto a plane surface ruled with equidistant parallel lines, with pi being equal to 2 * (l/d) * (n/i), where l = length of wire, d = distance between lines, n = # of trials, and i = # of intersections. On Aug. 12, 1877 while not throwing steel wires onto a wooden plane, Am. astronomer Asaph Hall (1829-2907) discovers Mars' moons Deimos (Mars II) (smaller and farther, rises in the E and sets in the W), followed on Aug. 17 Phobos (Mars I) (larger and closer, rises in the W and sets in the E) (closest moon to its primary in the Solar System), with English chemist Henry George Madan (1838-1901) suggesting the names after Book 15, Line 119 of Homer's Iliad, where Ares (Mars) summons Dread (Deimos) and Fear (Phobos); Madan's grand-niece Venetia Phair (nee Burney) later names Pluto in 1930; meanwhile Italian astronomer Giovanni Virginio Schiaparelli (1835-1910) first observes the canals (canali) of Mars, sparking the public's imagination. In 1889 Schiaparelli discovers the synchronous rotations of planets Mercury and Venus.

In 1872 German astrophysicist Johann Karl Friedrich Zollner (1834-82) pub. a paper criticizing the Panspermia (Lithopanspermia) Theory of William Thompson, Lord Kelvin on the grounds that it begs the question of where life came from in the first place, plus apostrophe, apostrophe, meteors don't seem to be a good way for life to come in through the atmosphere considering the little problem of high temp thermal entry? In 1874 he pub. a paper showing that Mercury's low albedo means that it has no atmosphere, hence no life.

In 1872 Am. mechanical engineer George Brayton (1830-92) of R.I. patents a 2-cylinder 2-stroke kerosone stationary engine that he calls Brayton's Ready Motor, which becomes the first safe and practical oil engine; he displays it at the 1876 Philadelphia Centennial Exposition; too bad, the 1876 Otto Engine becomes more popular. On May 8, 1879 George B. Selden (1846-1922) files the first U.S. automobile patent, based on the Brayton Engine of 1872; too bad, his filing of amendments delays things, and it's not granted until 1895.

In 1872 Am. horticulturist Luther Burbank (1849-1926) of Lunenberg, Mass. perfects the Burbank Potato, followed by over 800 strains of improved fruits, vegetables, and flowers, incl. the Freestone Peach, edible thornless Opuntia Cactus, and Plumcot (plum-apricot); in 1875 he moves to Santa Rosa, Calif., raising over 1M plants a year for his experiments; too bad he goes for the Lamarckian Theory of the Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics? - the womb as its own tiny emergency room?

In 1872 Am. inventor Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) perfects the 2-way Duplex Telegraph, originally invented in 1853 by Julius Wilhelm Gintl, that sends two messages simultaneously over the same wire. In 1875 he invents the Mimeograph.

In 1872 African-Canadian inventor Elijah J. McCoy (1843-1929) receives U.S. Patent #129,843 on July 23 for an automatic lubricator for steam engines, which comes to be known as the "Real McCoy".

In 1872 English clergyman Charles Meade Ramus (1822-) invents the Hydroplane.

On Oct. 20, 1872 Am. physician William Robinson invents the Electric Closed Track Circuit for Railroads.

On Mar. 5, 1872 Am. engineer George Westinghouse Jr. (1846-1916) patents the failsafe Automatic Railroad Air Brake.

In 1873 Scottish neurologist Sir David Ferrier (1843-1928) begins experimenting with electrical stimulation of the cerebral cortex of animals, discovering a map for motor functions.

In 1873 G.A. Hansen of Norway discovers the leprosy (Hansen's Disease) bacillus Mycobacterium leprae.

In 1873 Dutch physicist Johannes van der Waals (1837-1923) pub. the Van der Waals Equation of State for imperfect gases.

In 1873 French mathematician Charles Hermite (1822-1901) proves that e is transcendental, i.e., not a root of any algebraic equation with rational coefficients.

In 1873 French statistician Alphonse Bertillon (1853-1914) invents the Bertillon System for scientific ID of criminals using anthropometric measurements and personal characteristics: body (standing/sitting height, reach), head (length and width of head and right ear), and limbs (length of left foot, left middle finger, left little finger, left forearm); the U.S. begins using it in 1887; fingerprinting later supersedes it.

In 1873 Belgian engineer Zenobe Theophile (Zénobe Théophile) Gramme (1826-1901) and Hippolyte (Francois-Hypolite) Fontaine (1833-1910) invent the Gramme Machine, becoming the first commercially useful electric motor, utilizing a ring armature with multiple overlapped coils and multiple commutator contacts; after Fontaine accidentally discovers that the motor is reversible, the first Electric Alternator is created, transmitting electricity 2 km via copper wires.

On Apr. 29, 1873 former Confed. army maj. Eli Hamilton Janney (1831-1912) patents the Janney Knuckle Coupler (U.S. Patent #138,405) for railroad cars, becoming the 2nd most important safety invention for railroads after the Westinghouse Air Brake.

In 1873 Thaddeus Sobieski Constantine Lowe (1832-1913) of the U.S. invents the Water Gas Process, which creates large amounts of hydrogen gas for clean heating by passing steam over hot coal.

In 1873 English-born pharmacist Charles Henry Phillips (1820-82) of Stamford, Conn. patents Phillips' Milk of Magnesia (magnesium hydroxide), and begins marketing it in blue bottles in 1880 (until 1976), becoming the first commercial liquid laxative; "Take MOM in the PM for BM (bowel movement) in the AM"; good antacid too, if you don't mind the side effects?

In 1873 modern riveted denim jeans are patented by Levi Strauss (1829-1902), a German Jew who immigrated to the U.S. in 1847 during the Calif. Gold Rush; denim and indigo originally came from India; he hates the word "jeans" and his co. doesn't use it until 58 years after his death?

In 1873 Robert William Thomson (1822-73) patents the wire-spring mattress, invented on his deathbed - which wasn't well-sprung?

In 1873 the Winchester Model 73 repeating rifle begins production, becoming known as "the Gun that Won the American West".

In 1874 Fulton County, Penn.-born meteorologist William Ferrel (1817-91) pub. Tidal Researches, which explains his tide prediction machine that works on the principle of harmonic motion. In 1877 he pub. Meteorological Researches, which states Ferrel's Law, that moving objects are deflected to the right in the N hemisphere and left in the S hemisphere, explaining cyclones and anticyclones and Foucault's Pendulum.

In 1874 Dutch physical chemist Jacobus Henricus van't Hoff (1852-1911) and French physical chemist Joseph Achille Le Bel (1847-1930) independently suggest that the four bonds in most carbon compounds are directed toward the corners of a tetrahedron, thus founding the study of Stereochemistry, and winning van't Hoff the first-ever Nobel Chem. Prize in 1901.

In 1874 German physicist Friedrich Wilhelm Georg Kohlrausch (1840-1910) demonstrates that an electrolyte has a definite constant value of electrical resistance, and goes on to to verify the independent migration of ions.

In 1874 Irish physicist George Johnstone Stoney (1826-1911) of the Nat. U of Ireland coins the word "electron"; actually he named it "electrine", and changed it in 1891 - don't ask why a Gaelic wants to use Greek?

In 1874 Othmar Zeidler (1859-1911) of the U. of Strasbourg first prepares DDT, but doesn't suspect its insecticidal qualities; it takes until 1939.

Devil's Rope cuts the Am. Great Plains into a danger-filled maze? In 1874 Joseph Farwell Glidden (1813-1906) of De Kalb, Ill. (who grew up on a farm in N.Y.) modifies the patented barbed wire design of Henry M. Rose (a strip of wood with spikes attached to a plain wire fence) with a new way to hold the barbs in place using two twisted wire strands, creating The Winner, and in 1874 he and merchant Isaac L. Ellwood form the Barb Fence Co., becoming the first barbed wire manufacturer, with five tons produced the first year, and, after hiring salesmen Henry B. Sanborn (relative of Glidden) and John Warne "Bet-a-Million" Gates (1855-1911) sales take off, producing 1.5K tons in 1876 and 25K tons in 1879, causing the Great Plains (which lack rocks and trees) to be fenced in, and prices to fall from 20 cents to 2 cents per lb. by 1893; Glidden never visits the West to see how his Devil's Rope causes severe injuries to cattle, screwworm infestation et al.?

In 1874 A.K. Shriver of Baltimore, Md. patents the Pressure Cooker (Retort) for food canning; it doesn't come into gen. use until 1935.

In 1874 John William Draper (1811-82) pub. History of the Conflict Between Religion and Science, which becomes a big hit with Rationalists.

In 1875 Am. chemist-physicist ("Founder of Chemical Thermodynamics") Josiah Willard Gibbs (1839-1903) of Yale U. pub. the Gibbs Phase Rule, applicable to the phases of water, carbon dioxide, etc.: f = c - p + 2, i.e., number of degrees of freedom (number of intensive state variables that can be independently varied without changing the number of phases) equals the number of components - number of phases + 2; thus, for a 1-component system, f = 3 - p, and if there is just one phase in equilibrium it takes a 2-dim. graph to describe it (P vs. T, P vs. V), if there are two it takes a 1-dim. "tie line", and for three phases in equilibrium there is a 0-dim. "critical point".

In 1876 the English analytical philosophy journal Mind is founded by Scottish philosopher Alexander Bain (1818-1903), ed. by his student, Scottish philosopher George Croom Robertson (1842-92) (until 1892), taking on the problem of whether psychology should be classified as a science.

On Mar. 7, 1876 after a physician friend donates a human ear, which he experiments on in summer 1874, Scottish-born Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922) receives a patent in Boston, Mass. for the articulating telephone ("visible speech"); on Mar. 10 the first successful voice transmission over Bell's telephone takes place in Boston, Mass. as Bell spills acid on his clothes and tells his assistant, "Mr. Watson, come here! I want you!"; music is later sent down the line - soon lazy American white people can visit without getting up off their white lardasses, becoming their jealously-guarded lifestyle? In 1873 Elisha Gray (1835-1901) of Chicago, Ill. invents a telephone that works over short distances, and loses out on patenting the telephone by hours to Alexander Graham Bell, then loses a U.S. Supreme Court case over it, but goes on to build up the Western Electric Co., founded in 1872 with Western Union backing; in 2007 Seth Shulman pub. The Telephone Gambit: Chasing Alexander Graham Bell's Secret, which claims that Bell secretly copied part of Gray's invention, and that the patent office goofed up - every great fortune is built upon a great crime? In 1880 Bell discovers that solids can emit sounds when exposed to sunlight, infrared, or ultraviolet radiation. In 1885 Bell experiments with his phonographic equipment, leaving the oldest known recording of his voice.

In 1876 German physician Heinrich Hermann Robert Koch (1843-1910) (pr. coke) of Wollstein isolates the bacterium causing cattle disease anthrax, validating the germ theory of disease and spurring searches for new agents responsible for TB, cholera, etc. In 1877 he develops the Koch Technique for staining and identifying bacteria - he does it by hand? In 1882 after become a prof. at the Berlin School of Medicine, he isolates the tuberculosis (TB) bacillus. In 1883 he pub. a method for preventive inoculation against anthrax, and identifies the comma bacillus as the cause of cholera while on an official mission to Egypt and India.

In 1876 German physiologist Wilhelm Friedrich Kuhne (1837-1900) coins the word "enzymes" (from Gr. "in yeast") for soluble ferments made from cell extracts, as opposed to catalytic substances in intact cells, which should still be called ferments.

In 1876 Am. china shop owner Melville Reuben Bissell (1843-89) of Grand Rapids, Mich. invents the Bissell Carpet Sweeper to help his wife Anna get rid of the dusty straw her china comes packed in.

In 1876 George R. Carey (1851-1906) of Boston, Mass. proposes a television system using a selenium photocell array based on an 1873 discovery by Willoughby Smith.

In 1876 the toothpaste tube is introduced by Dr. Washington Wentworth Sheffield, who allegedly invented toothpaste in 1850.

In 1876 Nikolaus August Otto (1832-91) and Eugen Langen (1833-95) of Germany invent the gasoline-powered 4-stroke Otto Engine, the first internal combustion engine to efficiently burn fuel in a piston chamber; meanwhile fellow German Gottlieb Daimler invents the surface-type carburetor.

In 1876 Irish engineer James Thomson (1822-92), brother of Lord Kelvin invents the Analog Differential Analyzer for solving differential equations.

On Dec. 22, 1877 French physicist Louis-Paul Cailletet (1832-1913) and Swiss physicist Raoul Pictet (1846-1929) simultaneously send telegrams to the Academy of Science in Paris announcing their invention of machines for liquefying oxygen; Picet goes on to liquefy nitrogen and demonstrate that radiation from a cold object cannot heat a warmer object - picture their yipee-yo-cay-yay?

In 1877 Sir Francis Galton (1822-1911) of England (Charles Darwin's half-cousin) invents Statistical Regression; he also invents eugenics, fingerprinting, the weather map, and the silent dog whistle - sounds like's he's ready to tag and bag them inferior darkies from Darkest Africa?

In 1877 Austrian (Moravian) physicist Ernst Waldfried Josef Wenzel Mach (1838-1916) pub. a paper announcing Mach Numbers, the ratio of flow velocity past a boundary to the local speed of sound.

In 1877-9 German bacteriologist Julius Richard Petri (1852-1921) becomes asst. to Robert Koch in Berlin, inventing the Petri Dish; actually, he only was the first to pub. it in 1887?

In 1877 the first Phonograph, along with a (carbon) microphone and audible sound recording are made by hard-of-hearing Am. inventor Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931), a snippet of a Handel oratorio recorded on a wax cylinder; too bad, on Apr. 30 French poet-inventor Charles Cros (1842-88) submits a letter to the Academy of Science in Paris describing his invention of the phonograph, but Edison beats him to a working model, and receives a patent on Feb. 19, 1878. On Oct. 21, 1879 Edison invents the Electric Incandescent Light (light bulb), then gets it patented in the U.S. on Jan. 27, 1880, and tries to take all the credit, even though British inventor Sir Joseph Wilson Swan (1828-1914) already patented it in Britain in 1878, and he was knowingly copying it; he privately demonstrates it in Menlo Park, N.J. on Dec. 20, then publicly demonstrates it there on Dec. 31, scoring two firsts by putting on the first public display of Christmas lighting so that people coming on the nearby railroad tracks will get a thrill; he doesn't think to put them on a Christmas tree; in 1883 Edison and Swan set up a joint Edison & Swan United Electric Light Co. to sell lamps made with Swan's cellulose filament, which he invents in 1881, while the Edison Co. continues to use inferior bamboo filaments until it merges with Gen. Electric in 1892. In 1882 the first Electric Cristmas Tree Lights are invented by Edward H. Johnson, vice-pres. of the Edison General Electric Co.: 80 red, white, and blue lights made and wired by hand. In 1901 the General Electric Co. begins selling prewired "Christmas tree lamps" to the public (nine white bulbs per string) at a cost of an avg. person's weekly wages; it takes until the 1920s for holiday lights to become affordable to the gen. public.

In 1877 Louis-Paul Cailletet (1832-1913) of France and Raoul Pictet (1846-1929) of Switzerland independently invent machines for liquefying oxygen - picture their yipee-yo-cay-yay?

In 1877 the first public telephones in the U.S. become available; Edwin T. Holmes, son of burglar alarm inventor Edwin Holmes installs the first telephone switchboard burglar alarm in Boston, Mass. on May 17.

In 1877 James Starley (1830-81) of Sussex, England invents the differential gear for tricycles, becoming the father of the bicycle industry.

In 1877 Sir John Isaac Thornycroft (1843-1928) of Britain, whose facility is on the Thames River at Chiswick receives the first patent for an air-cushioned Hovercraft - why not the air-cushioned thornycraft? In 1935 Finnish engineer Toivo Juhani Kaario (1912-70) develops Thornycroft's 1877 Hovercraft patent into something more useful.

On Oct. 7, 1877 the Aftabeh asshole washing douche can is invented in Masshad, Iran by Haj Seyyed Gholamhossein Hasani Nejad, allowing Muslims to keep clean and sweet for their daily prayers sans toilet paper - no wonder it's the home of the assaholas?

In 1878 Paul Bert (1833-86) pub. La Pressions Barometrique (Barométrique), which describes and diagnoses Decompression Sickness after discovering that decompression bubbles are mostly nitrogen.

In 1878 English scientist Sir William Crookes (1832-1919) invents the Cathode Ray (Crookes) Tube (CRT), which requires a vacuum of one twenty-thousandth of atmospheric pressure (0.03 mm Hg), and shows that the rays travel in straight lines that can be deflected by a magnet, then uses the beam to heat metals, turn a small wheel, and excite fluorescence - Star Trek coming right up?

In 1878 Swiss chemists Marc Delafotaine (1837-1911) and Jacques-Louis Soret (1827-90) discover rare-earth element Holmium (Ho) (#67) (43rd most abundant element in the Earth's crust) in the spectrum of gadolinite; in 1879 Swedish chemist Per Teodor Cleve (1840-1905) chemically separates it from thulium and erbium - so rare it would take a Holmes to find it?

In 1878 Swiss chemist Jean Charles Galissard de Marignac (1817-94) isolates soft silver metallic rare earth element Ytterbium (Yb) (#70) from pure erbia, and names it after Ytterby, the Swedish town where he found it.

On Feb. 21, 1878 the first Telephone Directory is issued by the District Telephone Co. of New Haven, Conn.; it lists 50 names.

In 1878 Internat. Standard Time (IST) is invented by Scottish-born Sir Sandford Fleming (1827-1915) of Canada.

In 1878 Welsh inventor David Edward Hughes (1831-1900) uses a "clockwork transmitter" to transmit and receive Morse code using radio waves; he also invents the carbon microphone.

In 1878 Litchfield, Conn.-born Frederick Eugene Ives (1856-1937), dir. since age 18 of the Cornell U. photo lab invents the Half-Tone Photoengraving Process, patenting it in 1881 - where's Currier?

In 1878 Internat. Standard Time (IST) is invented by Scottish-born Sir Sandford Fleming (1827-1915) of Canada.

In 1879 Swedish chemist Lars Fredrik Nilson (1840-99) discovers metallic element Scandium (#21) (Sc) in wolframite eight years after Dmitri Mendeleyev predicted its existence based on the periodic law and predicted its properties as similar to boron.

On Feb. 27, 1879 Johns Hopkins U. chemist Ira Remsen (1846-1927) discovers Saccharin after noting that a coal tar derivative on his fingers makes a dinner roll taste sweet; too bad, his Russian-born research partner Constantin Fahlberg (1850-1910) names and patents it and leaves Remsen out, causing them to bitterly fall out.

In 1879 Yale U. paleontologist Othniel Charles Marsh (1832-99) discovers and names the bones of the Brontosaurus in Wyo.; he and Philly-based rival Edward Drinker Cope (1840-97) launch the Bone_Wars, spending their wealth to discover 142 new species of dinosaurs by 1892, only 32 of which are found to be scientifically valid; despite the creation perennially winning the People's Choice award, in 1975 it is proved that it was actually the body of an apatosaurus with the head of a camarasaurus, and that the apatosaurus is the brontosaurus; in 2015 the name brontosaurus is rehabilitated.

In 1879 using experimental data from Irish physicist John Tyndall, Austrian (Carinthian Slovene) mathematician-physicist Josef Stefan (1835-93) pub. the paper Über die Beziehung zwischen der Wärmestrahlung und der Temperatur (On the relation between heat radiation and temperature), announcing the Stefan (Stefan-Boltzmann) Law, that the total energy per unit time radiated from a black body per unit surface area is directly proportional to the fourth power of its thermodynamic temperature, using it to calculate the temp of the Sun's surface as 5,430C (9,810F); in 1884 Austrian physicist Ludwig Eduard Boltzmann (1844-1906) (founder of Statistical Mechanics, and coiner of the term "ergodic") pub. Ableitung des Stefan'schen Gesetzes, betreffend die Abhängigkeit der Wärmestrahlung von der Temperatur aus der electromagnetischen Lichttheorie (Derivation of Stefan's Law, concerning the dependency of heat radiation on temperature, from the electromagnetic theory of light), extending Stefan's Law to grey body emissions.

In 1879 German psychologist Wilhelm Wundt (1832-1920) sets up the first Experimental Psychology Lab at the U. of Leipzig, attracting students from all over the world - get your haircut and Skinner Box right here?

In 1879 Swedish chemist C.F. Dahl discovers the Sulfate Method of Making Paper from wood pulp - zillions of acres of trees are doomed to be turned into pulp fiction?

In 1878 Stephen Deadly Field, er, Stephen Dudley Field (1846-1913) of Stockbridge, Mass. invents an electric elevator. In 1979 he invents the Third Rail Electric Streetcar (trolley railway), which is successfully tested in New York City; he also becomes the first to apply dynamos to telegraphy.

In 1879 Ivory Soap (originally called the "White Soap") begins to be marketed in July by James N. Gamble, with the slogan "99 and 44/100th percent pure"; it floats because air is pumped into it.

In 1879 Edwin James Houston and Elihu Thomas of the U.S. invent Arc Lighting.

In 1879 Swedish engineer Carl Gustaf de Laval invents the Centrifugal Separator for removing cream from milk, causing industrial production of butter to ramp-up.

In 1879 Joseph Lawrence and Jordan Wheat Lambert of the U.S. invent tasty tangy germ-killing mouthwash Listerine.

In 1879 Swedish chemist and Dayton, Ohio tavern owner James Jacob Ritty (1836-1918) of Dayton, Ohio invents the Cash Register, nicknamed the Incorruptible Cashier, which is patented on Nov. 4, 1880, leading to the 1884 founding of the National Cash Register Co. (NCR).

In 1879 English "Alice in Wonderland " author Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) (1832-98) pub. Euclid and his Rivals, which defends Euclid's Elements as the best textbook for geometry, dissing the Assoc. for the Improvement of Geometrical Teaching (founded 1871); he goes on to pub. 10+ books on recreational matehamatics, along with serious research on linear algebra, symbolic logic, probability, determinants, proposing Dodgson Condensation, and voting systems, proposing Dodgson's Method.

In Feb. 1880 Science: A Weekly Record of Scientific Progress is founded by John Michaels with financial backing from Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell, becoming the official journal of the Am. Assoc. for the Advancement of Science in 1900, reaching 130K subscribers and 570K readers by modern times.

In 1880 Charles Darwin (1809-82) and Francis Darwin (1848-1925) pub. The Power of Movement in Plants, which proves that seedlings grow toward the light.

In 1880 German chemist Richard August Carl Emil Erlenmeyer (1825-1909) (1861 inventor of the Erlenmeyer Flask) formulates the Erlenmeyer Rule, that alcohols which have a hydroxyl group directly attached to a double-bonded carbon atom become aldehydes or ketones.

In 1880 French physician Charles Louis Alphonse Laveran (1845-1922) discovers the parasite that causes malaria after being sent to Algeria to study it in 1878, winning the 1907 Nobel Med. Prize.

In 1880 responding to a $75K reward, James Albert Bonsack (1859-1924) of Va. develops the Bonsack Machine (U.S. patents #238,640 and #247,795 in 1881), the first machine for making yummy-sexy cigarettes; in 1884 devout Methodist James Buchanan "Buck" Duke (1856-1925) of Durham, N.C. buys two Bonsack machines and produces 744M cigarettes by the end of the year, underselling all competitors and creating a monopoly - a greater mass murderer than Attila the Hun?

In 1880 English draper Thomas Burberry (1835-1926) of Basingstroke invents Gabardine, using weatherproofed yarn to make it water-resistant, tough, and breathable; he patents it in 1888.

In 1880 the Paige Typesetter is invented by James W. Paige, attracting a $300K investment by Mark Twain; too bad, by 1894 the Linotype kills it, leaving Twain strapped.

In 1880 English geologist John Milne (1850-1913) (whose portrait bears a striking resemblance to Am. comedian Dick Smothers (1939-)?) invents the Smothersgraph, er, Seismograph.

In 1880 the British Perforated Paper Co. sells the first commercial Toilet Paper; it comes in squares in a box, not rolls.

In 1880 Am. decorative artist Louis Comfort Tiffany (1848-1933) obtains a patent for a glass which changes colors with light, and goes on to design cool lamps using it - do they holly golightly?

In 1880 James Wimshurst (1832-1903) of England invents the Wimshurst Machine (an electrostatic generator), but fails to patent it.

On Feb. 2, 1880 the first electric streetlight is installed in Wabash, Ind., which on Mar. 1 becomes the electrically-lit city on Earth; some New York streets are lit by electricity this year, and Broadway by 1882.

On Feb. 24, 1880 the SS Columbia is launched on the Delaware River in Chester, Penn.; on May 22 it is lit up for the first time at the foot of Wall St. in New York City, becoming the first outside usage of Edison's incandescent light bulb.

In 1881 Cuban scientist Dr. Carlos Juan Finlay y Barres (Barrés) (1833-1915) presents the Mosquito Theory of Yellow Fever Transmission to a scientific convention in Havana, and is greeted with stony silence, becoming known as the Mosquito Man, and failing to gain acceptance for 20 years (until 1900), while the search for the yellow fever bacterium goes on in vain, because it's caused by a virus too small to be seen in a microscope and everybody wants to become the next Pasteur?

In 1881 English opthalmologist Waren (Warren) Tay (1843-1927) first describes the red spot in the retinas of people suffering from Tay-Sachs Disease, which in 1887 Jewish-Am. neurologist Bernard Sachs (1858-1944) notes is prevalent among Am. Jews of E European (Ashkenazi) descent.

In 1881 English logician John Venn (1834-1923) introduces Venn Diagrams.

In 1881 French inventor Clement Ader (1841-1925) invents the Theatrophone, with a separate channel for each ear, performing the first stereo transmission of an opera performance over a distance of 3km (2 mi.)

In 1881 John Boyd Dunlop (1840-1921) of the U.S. acquires the patent for a hollow (pneumatic) tire made of rubber and cloth; because of this, tire makers become the #1 consumer of natural rubber. In 1888 he patents the first practical pneumatic bicycle tire, but an 1845 patent by Robert William Thomson is soon granted precedence.

In 1881 Irish-born U.S. inventor John Philip Holland (1840-1914), an Irish nationalist wanting to help the U.S. Navy destroy British sea power gets money from the Fenians and launches his first successful submarine Fenian Ram on the Hudson River; too bad, its power system is too defective for long sea voyages and he goes back to the drawing boards.

In 1881 Santa Cruz, Calif. judge James Harvey Logan (1841-1928) develops the Loganberry by accidentally crossing a blackberry and raspberry.

In 1882 after studying a horse parasite, Belgian biologist Edouard Van Beneden (1846-1910) discovers that every species has a characteristic number of chromosomes.

In 1882 Viennese physician Joseph Breuer (1842-1925) uses hypnosis to treat hysteria, founding the field of Psychoanalysis; meanwhile French neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot (1825-93) sets up the first neurology clinic in Salpetriere, where he loves to exhibit hysterical women, esp. "Blanche" (Marie Wittman), and grooms French-Polish student Joseph Jules Francois Felix Babinski (1857-1932) - here's how to turn porno into respectable science?

In 1882 German mathematician Carl Louis Ferdinand von Lindemann (1852-1939) proves that pi is transcendental (non-algebraic), i.e., not the root of any algebraic equation with rational coefficients, although, duh, irrational numbers such as the square root of 2 can be algebraic (solution of x^2 - 2 = 0).

In 1882 French chemist Francois-Marie Raoult (1830-1901) pub. Raoult's Law of freezing point depression of solutions by solutes.

In 1882 Am. inventor Amos Emerson Dolbear (1837-1910) patents a wireless telegraph that uses ground transmission up to a distance of 0.5 mi., then in 1886 patents a voice transmission system, preventing Guglielmo Marconi from operating in the U.S. until he buys him out.

In 1882 the Bordeaux Mixture, the first herbicide (fungicide) (also an insecticide) is developed in France from lime and copper sulfate (bluestone); the usual formula is 4 lb. of each in 50 gal. of water; also in 1882 Parqauat (made from sodium, anhydrous ammonia, and chloromethane) is first synthesized; its herbicidal properties aren't recognized until 1955, and it is first marketed commercially for weed killing in 1961.

In 1883 German-Am. immigrant Julius Schmid (1854-1935) begins making condoms, later sold under the brand name Ramses (named after Pharaoh Ramses II, who fathered 150+ children), becoming the "king of condoms"; the originals are made of lamb cecum - ask any Scot?

In 1883 the first Dirigible, a balloon powered by an electric motor is developed by brothers Albert Tissandier (1839-1906) and Gaston Tissandier (1843-99) of France.

In 1883 Albert Robida pub. the novel The Twentieth Century, which predicts the electric aircar, glass buildings, billboards, and Telephonoscope.

On Oct. 13, 1884 the Internat. Meridian Conference of delegates from 25 nations in Washington, D.C. adopts the SE London suburb of Greenwich (pr. GREN-ich) as the location of the Prime Merdian, to be used in a worldwide system of time zones; San Domingo votes against, and France and Brazil abstain; the old Arago (Paris) Rose Line passing through Paris (Church of Saint-Sulpice) is abandoned by every country except France, which doesn't get with it for several decades- like living in a sexless marriage?

In 1884 English theologian Edwin Abbott Abbott (1838-1926) pub. the novel Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions, in which A Square encounters a Sphere from another world; it is ignored until Einstein's Theory of Relativity comes out, after which it becomes a classic.

In 1884 Swedish chemist Svante August Arrhenius (1859-1927) proposes the ionic theory of chemistry in his doctoral dissertation, pointing out that solutions of salt in water are better conductors than pure salts or pure water, and dissociation into ions is practically complete even when there is no passage of electric current; his teachers barely pass him, but he later wins the 1903 Nobel Chem. Prize.

In 1884 Edward Goodrich Acheson (1856-1931), an asst. of Thomas Edison since 1880 invents Carborundum (crystalline silicon carbide) (#2 hardest surface next to diamond) (named after corundum or aluminum oxide) during experiments for producing artificial diamonds by heating a mixture of clay and coke with a carbon arc, and receives a patent in 1893, although his electric batch furnace patent goes to Electric Smelting and Aluminum Co. - of Topeka?

In 1884 Norwegian inventor Jens William Aegidius Elling (1861-1949) patents the first Gas Turbine, which produces 11 net hp; it takes until 1903 to build one that produces excess power.

In 1884 Am. inventor Herman Hollerith (1860-1929) submits a patent for the punched card reader, called the Electric Tabulating Machine, initially used by the U.S. Census and later used on computers, going on to found Internat. Business Machines Co. (IBM) (originally the Computing-Tabulating-Recording Co.) on June 16, 1911; in 1914 after being fired from the Nat. Cash Register Co. (NCR), Thomas John Watson Sr. (1874-1956) becomes pres. #1 (until 1956), revolutionizing its sales force with sales incentives, pep talks, and an insistence on being well-groomed, wearing a dark suit with white shirt and tie, creating the slogan "THINK"; in 1943 he shows what that means with the soundbyte: "I think that there is a world market for maybe five computers" - complete with hanging chads?

In 1884 U.S.-born English engineer Sir Hiram Stevens Maxim (1840-1916), after giving up on competing with Thomas Edison takes a friend's 1883 advice "If you want to make your fortune, invent something to help these fool Europeans kill each other more quickly", and in June-July patents the portable recoil-operated automatic quick-fire Maxim (Machine) Gun (600 rounds a min.) and founds the Maxim Gun Co. in Crayford, Kent to produce it, which is bought out in 1896 by Vickers Corp., causing it to become known as the Vickers Gun, becoming the standard British machine gun, also adopted by the Russians; after it becomes responsible for killing half the Japanese in the Russo-Japanese war, he is knighted by Queen Vicky in 1901 - trench warfare when when when?

In 1884 Am. inventor Ottmar Mergenthaler (1854-99) invents the Linotype, which produces a solid line of type at a breathtaking 4 lines per min. (up to 15 by 1945), becoming the greatest advance in info. technology since Gutenberg?; the New York Tribune begins using it commercially on July 1; the two left-hand vertical rows of the keyboard form the sequences "etaoin shrdlu"; an English trade journal runs a cartoon of a robot setting type, expressing Luddite fears among printers.

In 1884 French neurologist Georges Albert Edouard Brutus Gilles de la Tourette (1857-1904) first medically describes g-d-d-mned-f-ck-in-g (coprolalia) (shit-speaking) (tic malady) Tourette's Syndrome; actually it was called Brissaud's Disease for French physician Edouard Brissaud (1852-1909) after he pub. a description in 1896, but later Jean Martin Charcot (1825-93) restores credit to Tourette - it would have to be Brutus?

On Aug. 9, 1884 Arthur Constantin Krebs (1850-1935) and Charles Renard (1847-1905) pilot the electric-powered French army airship La France in Chalais Meudon in Paris, covering 8 km (5 mi.) in 23 min., becoming the first round-trip fully controlled takeoff and landing free-flight. In 1888 Krebs and Gustave Zede (Zédé) (1825-91) construct the 60-ft.-long electric Gymnote, the first submarine with hydroplanes (horizontal rudders), which help it descend, plus the first naval periscope and electric gyrocompass; it goes on to force a naval blockade in 1890. In 1891 Krebs designs the 3.5K-franc Panhard, the first practical gasoline-powered automobile, with four wheels, a front-mounted engine and rear-wheel drive, a crude sliding-gear transmission with an electromagnetic gearbox, and the first castor-angled front wheels, all of which he patents in May 1896; in 1898 Krebs replaces the tiller with an inclined steering wheel with non-reversible steering, and engine balance; in 1901 he begins using nickel steel alloys; in 1902 he invents the automatic diaphragm carburetor; in 1906 he invents the shock absorber; in 1905 he invents the electric brake dynamometer for engine testing; in 1907 he invents the multi-disc clutch; in 1911 he invents the elastomeric flexible coupling (Flector joint); in 1915 he invents the worm gear differential; in 1898-1902 Panhard et Levassor builds 500 cars under license, going on to become one of the largest automobile manufacturers before WWI.

In 1884 English engineer Charles Algernon Parsons (1854-1931) invents the first practical steam turbine engine, showing it off in June 1897 by powering his yacht Turbinia at an unheard of 34 knots (vs. 27 knots for the fastest Royal Navy ships of the day), getting knighted for it in 1911.

In 1884 John Kemp Starley (1854-1901) of Coventry, England invents the Rover Safety Bike, with diamond-shaped frame, two wheels of identical size (26 in.), and a chain-driven rear wheel, using a large front cog and small rear cog, which "sets the pattern to the world", making the penny-farthing seem like a needless risk; no seat or brakes yet.

In 1885 German engineer Karl Friedrich Benz (1844-1929) invents the modern automobile (a 3-wheeled carriage with an internal-combustion engine), which he patents on Jan. 29, 1886, and drives through the streets of Munich; meanwhile fellow German Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler (1834-1900) patents an internal-combustion engine, which is initially used to power a motorcycle, causing the two Master Race Volk to share the credit for the first working automobile; the Benz has electric ignition, a water-cooled engine, and a carburetor, and despite a top speed of 8 mph he runs the vehicle into a brick wall, becoming the world's first automobile accident.

In 1885 Swiss girls' high school teacher Johann Jakob Balmer (1825-98) pub. a mathematical relation between the spectral frequencies of atomic hydrogen lines in the visible spectrum, showing them converging to a limit which is later called the Balmer Series.

In 1885 German organic chemist Adolf von Baeyer (1835-1917) of the U. of Munich pub. the notion of Steric Strain, which destablizes small-ring organic compounds, and has more pronounced effects the larger the rings become.

In 1885 self-educated Vt. farmer Wilson Bentley (1865-1931), "the Snowflake Man" becomes the first to take a closeup photo of an individual snowflake crystal, proving that each one is different; he sells some of his photos to a jeweler to use for design patterns; he also measures raindrops and proves that different kinds of storms produce different sizes.

In 1885 German bacteriologist Theodor Escherich (1857-1911) discovers the Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacterium - if his name were easier to pronounce, they wouldn't have to abbreviate it?

On Aug. 20, 1885 Supernova 1885 (S Andromedae) is discovered by German astronomer Carl Ernst Albrecht Hartwig (1851-1923) in the Andromeda Galaxy (M31) (in the N Hemisphere S of Cassiopeia and W of Perseus), going magnitude 9 to 6 in less than 1 mo., then fading to magnitude 16 in Feb. 1890, becoming the first known supernova beyond the Milky Way Galaxy.

In 1885 William Seward Burroughs (1855-98) invents an Adding Machine, and next year founds the Am. Arithmometer Co., which goes on to become the #1 adding machine co. in the U.S.

In 1885 George Eastman (1854-1932) of Rochester, N.Y. manufactures coated photographic paper. In 1888 the first hand-held Kodak Box Camera, containing a roll of flexible paper-based film, and patented in 1881 by D.H. Houston (named for his home state of N.D.) is marketed by Eastman; after exposing the film, the entire camera is sent to the factory for processing, and a reloaded camera is sent back along with the developed photos; "You push the button, we do the rest" - some day my prints will come? On Aug. 27, 1889 Am. chemist Henry M. Reichenbach of Eastman Kodak develops the first roll film using celluloid substrate, and on Dec. 10 George Eastman is granted a patent for flexible celluloid film.

In 1885 Galileo Ferraris (1847-97) of Turin, Italy invents the Polyphase Electric Motor.

On July 14, 1885 former slave Sarah E. Goode (1850-) patents the hideaway bed, which doubles as a desk or shelf, becoming the first African-Am. woman to receive a U.S. patent - is she related to Johnny B. Goode?

In 1885 Paul Julius Gottlieb Nipkow (1860-1940) of Germany patents the rotating Nipkow Disk, a system for a crude television (transmitting pictures by wire), later (1925) adapted by John Logie Baird for TV.

In 1885 Francois Eugene Turpin (1848-1927) of Colombes, France patents Melinite, pressed-cast picric acid (a derivative of phenol) with gun cotton, which is used extensively in WWI; in 1887 Britain steals it and calls it Lyddite, and Japan follows suit with Schimose.

In 1885 Karl (Carl) Auer von Welsbach (1858-1929) of Germany invents the Auerlicht incandescent gas mantle, consisting of guncotton impregnated with Actinophor (60% magnesium oxide, 20% lanthanum oxide, and 20% yttrium oxide), which gives off a bright green light when heated; in 1890 he tries 99% thorium dioxide and 1% cerium IV oxide, which gives off whiter light, and becomes a pre-Edison hit. The first noctilucent clouds, caused by ice in the upper atmosphere that catch sunlight after the Sun goes down are observed by an amateur astronomer.

On Feb. 6, 1886 the hard, brittle, reflective grey chemical element Germanium (#32) (Ge) is discovered by German chemist Clemens Alexander Winkler (1838-1904) in argyrodite after he figures out that the main components silver and sulfur only take up 93% of the mass, and initially calls it ekasilicon because it is chemically related to silicon; it ends up being named after Germany.

On June 26, 1886 French chemist Henri Moissan (1852-1907) isolates pure pale yellow Fluorine (F) (#9) (Lat. "fluo" = to flow) gas, earning him a prize of 10K francs from the French Academy of Science. In 1892 he invents the electric arc furnace, and uses its 3.5K C temp to produce tiny artificial diamonds along with new carbide, silicide, and boride compounds, winning the 1906 Nobel Chem. Prize.

In 1886 Latvian-born German surgeon Ernst von Bergmann (1836-1907) uses steam to sterilize surgical instruments, starting the practice of aseptic surgery.

On June 20, 1886 after obtaining it from his brother in Mexico, physician John Raleigh Briggs (1851-1907) of Dallas, Tex. eats one-third of a peyote button, and next year describes it for the first time in the medical lit., with the soundbyte "I know of nothing like it except opium and cocaine"; next year he sends a sample to German pharmacologist Dr. Louis Lewin (1850-1929), who distributes it around Germany for analysis and pub. the first scientific analaysis, causing it to be named Anhalonium lewinii.

In 1886 French chemist Paul-Emile (Francois) Lecoq de Boisbaudran (1838-1912) discovers the metallic rare earth element Dysprosium (Dy) (#66), known for the highest magnetic susceptibility of the rare earths.

In 1886 Swiss chemist Jean Charles Galissard de Marignac (1817-94) discovers rare-earth (#40) chemical element Gadolinium (#64) (Gd), and names it after Finnish chemist Johan (John) Gadolin (1760-1852), who isolated gadolinite, the ore in which it is found near Falun, Sweden, Hitra Island, Norway, et al.

On Dec. 28, 1886 Josephine Garis Cochran (Cochrane) (1839-1913) of Shelbyville, Ill. (whose mother Irene is the daughter of steamboat inventor John Fitch) patents an automatic dishwasher that wins first prize at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair, and is later marketed by KitchenAid to restaurants and hotels when it proves too expensive for home use; in the 1950s new Am. suburban homes come equipped with extra plumbing to handle the hot water, making them a common household device.

In 1886 German chemist Friedrich Otto Schott (1851-1935) and German microscope maker Carl Zeiss (1816-88) invent a new type of optical glass that can utilize the Abbe sine condition, making possible apochromatic (apo) microscope objectives, which bring three wavelengths into focus in the same plane rather than two like achromatic lenses. In 1887-93 Schott develops borosilicate glass (ends 1893), which can take heat and thermal shock and resist chemicals.

In 1886 Am. self-taught chemist Charles Martin Hall (1861-1914) of Thompson, Ohio and French chemist Paul Louis Toussaint Heroult (Héroult) (1863-1914) independently invent processes for producing aluminum by electrolysis. In 1888 Alcoa (Aluminum Co. of Am. (originally the Pittsburgh Reduction Co.) in Pittsburgh, Penn. is founded to produce aluminum using the 1886 Hall Process.

In 1886 French engineer Paul Vieille (1854-1934) invents smokeless gunpowder, which he calls Poudre B, which is 3x more powerful than black gunpowder (Poudre Noire); it is adopted by the French army for the Lemel Rifle.

In 1886 David H. Wilson of Tex. obtains U.S. patent #343,939 for the Electric Fence, constructing a 30-mi. one energized by a water wheel, which is not successful; they are not improved until the 1906 Russo-Japanese War and WWI.

In spring-summer 1887 after Polish-Am. physicist Albert Abraham Michelson (1852-1931) makes an experimental determination of the Earth's speed through the ether in Potsdam in 1881, and the results (zero) are so unexpected that he repeats the experiments in Cleveland, Ohio in partnership with Edward Williams Morley (1838-1923), the results of the Michelson-Morley Experiment throw the physics world on its head with its apparent proof of the non-existence of Leibniz's stationary ether (aether) (or the disturbing conclusion that the Earth carries the ether along with it); the world must wait for Einstein to figure out that instead of time and space being invariant and the speed of light variable, it's the other way around, and both space and time are variable (relative to inertial speed).

In Nov. 1887 German physicist Heinrich Rudolf Hertz (1857-94) pub. the paper "On Electromagnetic Effects Produced by Electrical Disturbances in Insulators, showing that James Clerk Maxwell's 1865 paper theorizing the existence of electromagnetic waves is correct, causing the unit of frequency cycles per sec. to be named in his honor; he observes that a spark jumps a gap more easily when the electrodes are illuminated by light from another spark gap, becoming the first observation of the photoelectric effect, which Einstein finally explains in 1905 by proposing that radiation is quantized, and when light quanta hit metal they overcome the attractive potential holding electrons in, and convert their remaining energy into kinetic energy of the ejected electrons.

In 1887 German chemist Friedrich August "Fritz" Raschig (1863-1928) develops the Raschig Process

In 1887 English paleontologist Harry Govier Seeley (1839-1909) discovers a dichotomy in the classification of dinosaurs because of different pubic bones, causing him to divide them into the bird-hipped Ornithischia and the lizard-hipped Saurischia.

In 1887 Lick Observatory on Mount Hamilton E of San Jose, Calif. is founded from a bequest left by James Lick (1796-1876) (wealthiest man in Calif.), whose body is buried under the site; the 36-in. lens is ground by Am. astronomer Alvan Clark (1804-87), who goes on to grind the 40-in. lens for Yerkes Observatory.

In 1887 German immigrant Emile Berliner (1851-1929) patents the Gramophone in Washington, D.C. on Nov. 8, using cylinders, which he upgrades to discs in 1888, and begins marketing in Europe in 1889 to toy companies while he works to improve audio quality; musicians now have to struggle with copyright pirates like authors do?

In Oct. 1888 Milan, Ohio-born (pr. MY-lin) Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) files a preliminary patent (caveat) for his Kinetoscope (Gr. "kineto" + "scope" = motion + watch) "optical phonograph" motion picture camera, which does "for the Eye what the phonograph does for the Ear", filing a 2nd caveat in Mar. 1889 which first names it; in 1889-90 the first crude Monkeyshines are shot at Edison Labs in N.J. by Scottish-born William Kennedy Laurie Dickson (1860-1935) and William Heise after Dickson decides on celluloid film and selects 35mm as the std. size; on May 20, 1891 the first working prototype is unveiled at the Nat. Federation of Women's Clubs, showing the 3-sec. Dickson Greeting from a small pine box filled with film on rollers and a 1-in. peep show viewer on top; on Feb. 21, 1893 after most of his application is denied based on prior art, Edison receives a patent governing the intermittent movement of film in the Kinetograph; on Mar. 14, 1893 Edison receives patent #493,426 for the exhibition device; on May 9, 1983 the final version is unveiled at the Brooklyn Inst. of Arts and Sciences, showing The Blacksmith Scene; too bad, Edison goes on to try to force every new movie studio to pay him royalties, holding the industry back for years; in 1895 Thomas Edison invents the Kinetophone, which links a Kinetoscope with a cylinder phonograph, making talking movies possible; meanwhile on May 2, 1887 Episcopal priest Hannibal Williston Goodwin (1822-1900) of Newark, N.J. patents celluloid film for use in Bible teaching, and it ends up being used in Edison's Kinetoscope and being stolen by George Eastman; when Goodwin dies in a street accident in 1900 his patent is sold to Ansco, which settles with Eastman Kodak for $5M for patent infringement.

In 1888 German Bavarian biologist Theodor Heinrich Boveri (1862-1915) discovers the centrosome, which he calls the "special organ of cell division", later discovering the phenomenon of chromatin diminution; in 1902 he proposes that a cancerous tumor starts with a single cell in which the chromosome makeup becomes scrambled, causing it to divide uncontrollably, caused by radiation, chemicals, or pathogens, which is proved true in 1915 by Thomas Hunt Morgan.

In 1888 Wilhelm Franz Ludwig Hallwachs (1859-1922) of Germany discovers the Hallwachs Effect, produced when ultraviolet light falls on a negatively charged body in a vacuum and discharges it.

In 1888 German mathematician David Hilbert (1862-1943) pub. Hilbert's Basis Theorem, that a polynomial ring over a Noetherian ring is Noetherian, becoming the first "constructive proof", proving the existence of something without being able to display it, using the Law of the Excluded Middle (principium tertii exclusi) (tertium non datur) ("Either P or not P"), causing the ed. of Mathematische Annalen to comment: "This is not mathematics, this is theology", after which he adds "I have convinced myself that even theology has its merits"; the Intuitionist School of Mathematics ("the proof is the object") takes off with this idea and runs with it. In 1900 he announces Hilbert's 23 Unsolved Problems of Mathematics at the Internat. Congress of Mathematicians, which take the rest of the cent. to assimilate; meanwhile fellow German mathematician Friedrich Ludwig Gottlob Frege (1848-1925) disputes his whole approach, based on his 1884 book The Foundations of Arithmetic (Die Grundlagen der Arithmetik), which makes fans of Bertrand Russell and Ludwig Wittgenstein - Math is a Battlefield? In 1920 he proposes Hilbert's Program, an attempt to prove that all of mathematics follows from a finite set of axioms, and is consistent; too bad, Kurt Godel blows the program out of the water in 1931 with his Incompleteness Theorem. In 1970 Russian mathematician Yuri Vladimirovich Matiyasevich (1947-) proves that Hilbert's Tenth Problem (1900) is unsolvable.

In 1888 Thomas Edison invents a Talking Doll with a small phonograph in its body that can recite a dozen nursery rhymes when continuously cranked ("the voices of the little monsters were exceedingly unpleasant to hear"); they are offered for sale on Apr. 7, 1890, costing $10 with a simple chemise, $20-$25 with full dress; he manufactures hundreds before finding that he had already sold the rights to phonograph toys to another firm, and has them destroyed, and only two survive?

In 1888 German opthalmologist Adolf Eugen Fick (1829-1901) creates the first Contact Lenses for patients with Keratoconus; next year German medical student August Mueller (Müller) (1864-1949) invents contact lenses made of glass discs, which are improved by French opthalmologist Eugene Jean Baptiste Kalt (1861-1941); too bad, they are made from impermeable glass, and cover the whites of the eye until 1948, making them impossible to wear for more than 4-5 hours.

On Aug. 7, 1888 Theophilus von Kannel (1841-1919) of Philadelphia, Penn. patents the "noiseless" Revolving Door.

In 1888 Am. physician John Harvey Kellogg (1852-1943) of the Battle Creek, Mich. Sanitarium gives the world's first Oxygen Enema to a lucky plucker - did he tear his pants?

On Oct. 14, 1888 French inventor ("the Father of Cinematography") Louis Aime (Aimé) Augustin Le Prince (1841-90) shoots The Roundhay Garden Scene in the garden of his father-in-law Joseph Whitley in Roundhay Leeds, West Yorkshire, England on a 2.1-in.-wide paper roll from Eastman Kodak, running 10-12 frames per sec. shot through a single-lens combi camera-projector, becoming the oldest surviving motion picture film; on Sept. 16, 1890 before he can demonstrate it in the U.S., Le Prince disappears from a train in Dijon, and Thomas Edison claims credit for the invention; in 1898 his son Adolphe Le Prince testifies in court for his father in a suit brought by Edison against the Am. Mutoscope Co., but is barred from presenting his dad's two cameras as evidence, and Edison wins, but a year later the judgment is overturned.

In 1888 Marvin Chester Stone of Washington, D.C. patents a process for making Drinking Straws by winding strips of paraffin-coated paper around a pencil and gluing them together; manufacturing is done by hand until 1906.

The first year people have the AC-DC option? In 1888 Croatian-born Nikola Tesla (1856-1943) of the U.S. invents the Alternating Current (AC) Electric Motor, which is manufactured by George Westinghouse; Thomas Edison, a DC man, facetiously bet him he couldn't do it, and then reneged on a $25 a week raise in 1885, causing a lifelong grudge? In 1891 Tesla first demonstrates alternating current for commercial use at the Ames Power Plant in Colo. between Silverton and Telluride; he goes on to build a weird funky lab in Colo. Springs in 1899 to develop wireless transmission of electrical power using Tesla Coils. Tesla dies on Jan. 6/7, 1943 in New York City; he was murdered by Otto Skorzeny and Reinhard Gehlen to steal his revolutionary military inventions incl. the gravity motor?; he was strangled by fellow free energy enthusiast Viktor Schauberger?; his property is seized by the U.S. govt. Office of Alien Property, then examined by Pres. Donald Trump's MIT prof. uncle John G. Trump, who concludes: "[Tesla's] thoughts and efforts during at least the past 15 years were primarily of a speculative, philosophical, and somewhat promotional character", but "did not include new, sound, workable principles or methods for realizing such results"; electrifying conspiracy rumors about suppressed inventions incl. anti-gravity flying machines fly around to modern times: "The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane"; "When wireless is fully applied, the Earth will be converted into a huge brain, capable of response in every one of its parts"; "To me, the Universe is simply a great machine which never came into being and never will end. The human being is no exception to the natural order. Man, like the Universe, is a machine"; "It is a mere question of time when men will succeed in attaching their machinery to the very wheelwork of nature."

In 1889 Spanish histologist Santiago Ramon y Cajal (1852-1934) discovers the mechanisms of gray matter nerve cells, then in the next two years isolates Cajal's Cells (Cajal-Retzius Cells) near the brain surface, and demonstrates the changes they undergo while functioning, founding modern neuroscience and winning the 1906 Nobel Med. Prize.

In 1889 brothers William James Mayo (1861-1939) and Charles Horace Mayo (1865-1939), sons of William Worrall Mayo (1819-1911) (all surgeons) found the Mayo Clinic at St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester, Minn.; on Sept. 30 Charles H. Mayo performs the first modern surgical procedure, the removal of a cancerous growth - you can almost taste the hotdog?

In 1889 Italian mathematician Giuseppe Peano (1858-1932) pub. the Peano Axioms, which define the natural numbers in terms of sets.

On June 21, 1889 after making the first moving pictures on celluloid film last year in Hyde Park, London, Bristol-born English portrait photographer William Freeze-Frame, er, William Friese-Greene (1855-1921) receives patent #10,131 for his Chronophotographic Camera, which can take 4-5 (up to 10?) photographs per sec. using peforated celluloid film, and sends info. on it to Thomas Edison, who is busy developing his Kinetoscope; too bad, the low frame rate causes it to become a flop, and he goes bankrupt in 1891; he then invents Biocolour, using B&W film with two different colored filters, and alternate frames of the monochrome print stained red or green.

On Aug. 13, 1889 William Gray of Hartford, Conn. patents a coin-operated telephone box, and installs the first one at a bank in Hartford.

In 1889 the first working electric elevator is installed in the Demarest Bldg. in New York City at 339 Fifth Ave., Manhattan.

In 1889 English chemist Sir Frederick Augustus Abel, 1st Baronet (1827-1902) invents Cordite smokeless propellant (58% nitroglycerine, 37% guncotton, 5% petroleum jelly), which is used in 303 British Mark I and Mark II rifle cartridges in 1891-1915, and the detonation system of the Little Boy a-bomb dropped on Hiroshima in Aug. 1945.

In 1889 reaper-mower machine manufacturer Jacob Hiram Myers (1841-1920) of Rochester, N.Y. receives a patent for the Automatic Voting Machine (AVM), which catches on and becomes a monopoly until 1936, when the Shoup Voting Machine Corp. (founded 1905 by Samuel R. Shoup becomes a competitor, introducing the Model 2.5 in 1935, which takes over,. selling 100K machines by 2000.

In 1889 N.Y.-born Kansas City, Mo. undertaker Almon Brown Strowger (1839-1902) of the U.S. invents an automatic electromechanical telephone switching device, and patents it in 1891, opening the first commercial telephone exchange on Nov. 3, 1892 in La Porte, Ind. with 75 subscribers (cap. 99).

In 1890 the Swiss Army Knife is born when the Swiss Army decides that every soldier needs to carry a knife with a screwdriver to disassemble his Schmidt-Rubin rifle and a can opener for canned food, producing the Model 1890, which incl. a reamer, with a handle made of dark oak and/or ebony; the first lot of 15K is delivered in Oct. 1891 by Wester & Co. of Solingen, Germany; the red handle has a Swiss cross and shield; in 1891 surgical equipment maker Karl Elsener (1860-1918) of Ibach gets the contract to manufacture it, establishing the Victorinox Co. in 1909 after his mother Victoria dies, combining her name with "inox" (Fr. "acier inoxydable"), meaning stainless steel; in 1908 Paul Boechat & Co. of Belermont splits the contract 50-50, becoming Wenger Co., owned by Theodore Wenger, with Victorinox producing the Original Swiss Army Knife and Wenger the Genuine Swiss Army Knife; which is acquired by Victorinox on Apr. 26, 2005, continuing to produce both brands until announcing on Jan. 30, 2013 that only Victorinox will be produced; in WWII U.S. soldiers change the name from Offiziersmesser because it's too hard to pronounce; Victorinox sets up a factory in Monroe, Conn., which produces more and more models with more and more blades, incl. saw, scissors, file, pliers, tweezers, bottle openers, corkscrew, knife chain, belt clip et al.

The unbearable lightness of Behring? In 1890 Emil Adolph von Behring (1854-1917) discovers antitoxins in the Berlin lab of physician Robert Koch (1843-1910) while working with Shibasaburo Kitasato (1853-1931) of Japan, and formulates Behring's Law, that blood serum from an individual who had contracted and survived a disease can be used to produce immunity to the same disease in another individual; he first applies it to tetanus, then diphtheria, then cattle TB; meanwhile Koch produces a substance he calls tuberculin, claiming it to be a cure for TB, but later finds it useful only in diagnosis; von Behrin wins the 1901 Nobel Med. Prize for the discovery of the diphtheria antitoxin serum, while Kitasato is snubbed.

In 1890 Swiss psychiatrist Johann Gottlieb Burckhardt (1836-1907) performs the first lobotomy (frontal lobe removal) operations; too bad, one patient dies after the operation, another is found dead in a river 10 days later, and the rest exhibit altered behavior. On Nov. 12, 1935 Portuguese neurologist Antonio (António) Caetano de Abreu Freire Egas Moniz (1874-1955) performs the first prefrontal leucotomy (lobotomy) by drilling holes in the patient's head and injecting alcohol to destroy the tissue, later using a leucotome (retractable wire loop) - so alcoholics are just trying to give themselves leucotomies? On Sept. 14, 1936 after Watts loses his license to perform surgery when his patient dies on the operating table, Am. neurosurgeon James Winston Watts (1904-94) is directed by Am. physician Walter Jackson Freeman II (1895-1972) to perform their first frontal lobotomy on housewife Alice Hood Hammatt of Topeka, Kan., going on to popularize it in the U.S. The Uline Ice Co. presents Doctor Egomaniac AKA Doctor Eager Money? In 1949 after U.S. doctors Walter Freeman and James W. Watts adopt the technique of Egas Moniz, who claimed a 30% success rate and became the country's first (only) Nobel Prize in Medicine winner for his barbaric "apple corer", and Freeman develops the nasty ice pick technique for prefrontal lobotomies, charging only $25 and wearing no surgical gloves or mask, one is performed on Rosemary (Rose Marie) Kennedy (1918-2005), daughter of Joseph P. Kennedy and Rose Kennedy, which leaves her childlike and in need of institutionalization; by 1951 18K+ lobotomies are performed in the U.S. alone; they are not discontinued in favor of drug treatment until the 1960s after Freemon is banned from performing surgery in 1967.

In 1890 German chemist Julius Wilhelm Theodor Curtius (1857-1928) produces azoimide from organic sources using the Curtius Rearrangement.

About 1890 French-born Belgian paleontologist Louis Antoine Marie Joseph Dollo (1857-1931) formulates Dollo's Law of Irreversibility, which states that in evolution an organism never returns to its exact former state, i.e., complex structures once lost are never regained in their original form.

In 1890 Willoughby Dayton Miller (1853-1907) pub. the microbial theory of dental cavities (caries).

In 1890 Italian mathematician Gregorio Ricci-Curbastro (1853-1925) invents Tensor (Absolute Differential) Calculus (Analysis), which uses contravariant (superscript) and covariant (subscript) array indices to represent physical objects independent of coordinate systems; in 1898 German physicist Woldemar Voigt (1850-1919) coins the term "tensor"; Ricci-Curbastro's student Tullio Levi-Civita (1873-1941) popularizes it in a 1900 textbook, and Albert Einstein later uses it in his Gen. Relativity Theory after taking 10 slow years to learn it, along with elliptic geometry from his friend Marcel Grossmann (1878-1936) - just move on up to relieve?

In 1890 German-born English industrialist Ludwig Mond (1839-1909) discovers a new method of purifying nickel (element #28) by treating it with carbon monoxide, leading to many advances in industrial catalysts; in 1900 he founds Mond Nickel Co..

On Aug. 6, 1890 (7:00 a.m.) after Thomas Edison helps nix his appeal in hopes that the use of Westinghouse's AC rather than his DC will give them a bad name, convicted common-law wife hatchet murderer William Kemmler (b. 1860) becomes the first person to be executed on an Electric chair as N.Y. tries out its brand-new 1888 model in Auburn Prison; after being zapped for 17 sec. with 1K volts, he is still breathing, so they juice it up to 2K volts for 70 sec., during which time he catches fire and nauseated witnesses run for it - the original Green Mile?

On Oct. 9, 1890 Clement Ader (1841-1925) makes his first flight in his steam-powered fixed-wing aircraft Ader Eole in Satory, France, flying 50m (160 ft.) at a height of 20 cm., becoming the first takeoff of an airplane solely under its own power.

In Dec. 1890 Thomas Edison's talking dolls become a rage at Christmas; they sound like they're possessed?; too bad, they are almost all damaged in shipping, causing him to sell them sans guarantee.

In 1891 Am. surgeon William Bradley Coley (1862-1936) successfully treats a tumor by injecting the patient with streptococcal cultures, later killing the bacteria first, pioneering Immunotherapy.

In 1891 Dutch paleoanthropologist Marie Eugene Francois Thomas Dubois (1858-1940) discovers Java Man in Java, Indonesia, naming it Pithecanthropus erectus after becoming convinced that the human species originated in the tropics, becoming the first early hominid specimens to be found outside Africa or Europe, making him world famous; too bad, after fighting the scientific establishment for acceptance and gaining ground, he dies a bitter man; his specimens are later classified as Homo erectus erectus - he went ape?

In 1891 antibodies are first proposed as responsible for disease immunity by German scientist Paul Ehrlich (1854-1915). In the 1900s he pioneers the treatment of diseases with chemicals. In 1910 he introduces Salvarsan (Arsphenamine) as a specific remedy for pesky syphilis - save our sanity, this will sound like a bad joke, but if only more Germans went into science instead of the Wehrmacht? In 1912 he introduces the topical antiseptic Acriflavine.

In 1891 C.F. Cross, C. Beadle and E.J. Bevan of Courtalds Ltd. in Britain discover how to manufacture Viscose Rayon, and patent it next year.

In 1891 French physicist Louis Arthur Ducos du Hauron (1837-1920) invents Anaglyph Stereoscopic Printing, in which left/right red/blue channels are fed separately to the eye, which combines them into a 3-D image.

In 1891 French physicist Gabriel Jonas Lippmann (1845-1921) invents the Lippmann Plate for color photography, winning the 1908 Nobel Physics Prize.

In 1891 the explosive PETN (PENT) (pentaerythrigol tetranitrate) is synthesized in Germany by Bernhard Christian Gottfried Tollens (1841-1918) and P. Wigand; it is patented in 1912, and used in WWI.

In 1891 Am. dentist Greene Vardiman Black (1836-1915) of Chicago, Ill. begins advocating a scientific cavity preparation to prevent recurrence of decay around the margins of the fillings.

In 1891 Irish-born Baltimore, Md. Quaker William Painter (1838-1906) invents the crown bottle cap, and patents it on Feb. 2, 1892 (#468,226, 468,258), forming the Crown Cork and Seal Co. in Baltimore, Md. and becoming a millionaire, going on to invent a crown bottle cap opener, a bottle capping machine, a paper-folding machine, a safety ejection seat for passenger trains, and a machine for detecting countefeit currency; not until the 1960s does the twist-off cap offer any serious competition.

In 1892 Rudolf (the Red-Nosed?) Diesel (1858-1913) of Munich, Germany patents an internal combustion engine using low-cost fuel (peanut oil), and goes on to perfect the first commercial Diesel Engine at the Krupp factory in Essen.

In 1892 James Dewar (1843-1923) of Scotland patents the thermos, getting knighted in 1904.

In 1892 the first successful gasoline-powered farm tractor is developed by John Froelich (1849-1933) in Iowa; it has a 16 hp motor and can go in reverse; John Deer & Co. purchases the patent in 1918 for a song, and Froelich dies broke.

On Mar. 15, 1892 Jesse Reno of the U.S. patents the first inclined elevator (moving stairs), and in 1895 he sets up a 25 deg. angle escalator ride at Coney Island.

In 1893 Irish physicist George Francis FitzGerald (1851-1901) of Trinity College, Dublin suggests that a body undergoing motion contracts in the direction of motion, but doesn't explain why - that would take an Einstein?

In 1893 Frank J. Kellogg markets the first weight-loss pill, a thyroid extract called the "safe fat reducer"; too bad, its use can cause sudden death.

In 1893 German psychiatrist Emil Kraepelin (1856-1926) founds modern psychology with the clinical approach based on syndromes (patterns of symptoms), classifying psychosis into manic depression and dementia praecox ("sub-acute development of a peculiar simple condition of mental weakness occurring at a youthful age") - so that's why psychiatry is full of krap?

In 1893 Karl Pearson (1857-1936) invents statistical moments and standard deviation.

In 1893 Daniel Hale Williams (1856-1931), 1891 founder of Provident Hospital in Chicago, Ill., the first interracial hospital and training school for black nurses and interns performs the first pericardial sac repair operation.

In 1893 Thermite, a mixture of aluminum and iron rust powder is invented by German chemist Hans Goldschmidt (1861-1923); it burns at 2.5K C and can be used for welding; he patents it in 1895.

In 1893 English-born Am. chemist Edward Weston (1850-1936), competitor of Thomas Edison invents the Weston Cell, a cadmium-mercury battery that is so stable it becomes the internat. standard for EMF in 1911, after which he waves his patent rights since he has 308 other patents.

In 1894 the bacillus Pasteurella pestis (Yersinia pestis) that causes the bubonic plague (Black Death) is discovered independently by Kitasato Shibasaburo (1853-1931) of Japan and Alexandre Emile Jean Yersin (1863-1943) of Russia.

In 1894 Simon Lake (1866-1945) develops the first modern submarine, the Argonaut Jr.

In 1894 German "Glider King" Karl Wilhelm Otto Lilienthal (1848-96) files for a patent on a triangle control frame hang glider, the Derwitzer, going on 2K+ flights and learning how to hover against a 10 mph updraft, inspiring the Wright Brothers; too bad, on Aug. 10, 1976 he hits a sudden downdraft, crashes, and dies in Berlin.

On June 1, 1894 Sir Oliver Joseph Lodge (1851-1940) of England demonstrates the use of a Coherer for detecting radio signals, becoming a big breakthrough for vacuum tube technology.

On Aug. 2, 1894 after London-born Anglo-Irish inventor Sir Charles Algernon Parsons (1854-1931) invents the modern compound steam turbine in 1884, his steamship Turbinia ("the Ocean Greyhound") is launched, becoming the first steam turbine-powered steamship, and the world's fastest ship (until ?) (34 knots), paving the way for the next generation of steamships incl. the dreanoughts after the cavitation problem is solved by the cavitation tunnel.

In 1894 Serbian-born Am. physicist Michael Idvorsky (Mihajlo Idvorski) Pupin (1858-1935) invents the Pupin Loading Coil, which greatly extends the range of long distance telephones by adding distributed inductance to the line; the patent is later acquired by AT&T.

On Feb. 13, 1895 brothers Auguste Lumiere (Lumière) (1862-1954) and Louis Lumiere (Lumière) (1864-1948) of Lyon, France, who with their Haute-Saone, Ormoy-born photographer father Charles-Antoine Lumiere (Lumière) (1840-1911) (Fr. "lumiere" = light) set up a photographic equipment factory in Lyons, France in the 1880s patent the Cinematograph camera-projector combo, one of the first motion picture cameras, using a perforated film, and the first showing movies to an audience instead of an individual viewer like Edison's "peepshow" kinetoscope; their first film Leaving the Lumiere Factory in Lyon (Sortie de l'usine Lumiere de Lyon), the almost first true motion picture debuts at L'Eden Cinema in La Ciotat on Sept. 28, 1895, followed by Paris on Dec. 28, 1895.

On Dec. 28, 1895 after producing and detecting them for the first time on Nov. 8, German physicist Wilhelm Konrad (Conrad) Roentgen (Röntgen) (1845-1923) of Wurzburg U. in Germany pub. Eine Neue Art von Strahlen, announcing the discovery of X-Rays (X for unknown, like in algebra) (AKA Roentgen Rays) the year before while fooling around with a Crookes Tube (CRT) when a photographic plate enclosed in a dark box came out fogged, proving that the box walls are transparent to them; he soon is taking X-ray photos of the hand, launching a new era in medicine - imagine what else?

In 1895 Boston, Mass.-born astronomer Percival Lawrence Lowell (1855-1916) pub. Mars, which claims that there are "non-natural features" on Mars incl. canals and oases of that are signs of past intelligent life, turning on the public while pissing-off prof. astronomers; followed by "Mars and Its Canals" (1906), "Mars as the Abode of Life" (1908); in 1909 the 60-in. Mount Wilson Observatory telescope in South Calif. becomes operational, showing the canals to have irregular features showing they are geological in origin.

In 1895 French physicist Jean Baptiste Perrin (1870-1942) proves that cathode rays are made of corpuscles with negative electric charge.

In 1895 French polymath mathematician-physicist ("the last Universalist" - Eric Temple Bell) Henri Jules Poincare (Poincaré) (1854-1912) pub. the paper Analysis Situs, defining Poincare Duality, proposing the Poincare Conjecture (solved in 2003), and founding Algebraic Topology, later applying it to celestial mechanics.

In 1895 English Argonauts, er, scientists John William Strutt, 3rd Baron Rayleigh (1842-1919) and Sir William Ramsay (1852-1916) discover the first "noble" (inert) gas, chemical element Argon (Ar) (#18), isolated from air; Ramsay proves that helium (discovered in the Sun's atmosphere in 1868) exists on Earth in the uranium ore elevite; later it is found that it exists in all radioactive minerals as a result of radioactive decay, which emits alpha particles (helium nuclei). In 1898 the rare gas elements Krypton (Kr) (#36) (1 part in 20M in the atmosphere), Neon (Gr. "new") (Ne) (#10) (1 part in 65K in the atmosphere), and Xenon (Xe) (#54) are discovered by British chemists Sir William Ramsay and Morris William Travers (1872-1961) in liquid air.

In 1895 Russian physicist Konstantin Tsiolkovski (1857-1935) discovers the principle of rocket reaction propulsion - impulse engines, Scotty?

In 1895 Russian-Latvian-German chemist Paul Walden (1863-1957) discovers Walden Inversion, the first Stereoinversion Reaction; in the early 1900s Christopher Ingold finds that it doesn't work with tertiary alcohols, which is solved in the Sept. 12, 2013 issue of Nature by Ryan A. Shenvi et al. of the Scripps Research Inst.

In 1895 Italian Baron Guglielmo Marconi (1874-1937) invents radio telegraphy, with a contraption that can ring a bell a few yards away in his yard in Bologna; next year he travels to London to stir up interest. On June 2, 1896 Marconi receives the first patent for a communication system by means of electromagnetic waves (radio). In 1899 he wows the world by broadcasting the America's Cup race on wireless. On Dec. 12, 1901 he receives the first trans-Atlantic wireless radio message in St. John's, Newfoundland from Cornwall, England: the letter "S" (dot dot dot). Too bad, in 1943 the U.S. Supreme Court rules that all of Marconi's radio patents are invalid, and awards them to Nikola Tesla.

In 1895 G.V. Black standardizes cavity preparation and manufacture of silver fillings.

On Nov. 5, 1895 George B. Selden (1846-1922) of N.Y. is granted a U.S. patent for the gasoline-powered automobile after filing on May 8, 1879; local bank teller George Eastman was used as a witness; in 1899 he sells a license to William Collins Whitney (1841-1904) (U.S. secy. of the Navy in 1885-9), owner of the monopolistic Electric Vehicle Co. (1897-1907), and works to collect a 0.75% royalty from all cars sold by the Assoc. of Licensed Automobile Manufacturers, later founding Selden Motor Vehicle Co.; after Ford Motor Co. is founded in 1903, they take him on in a mammoth 8-year case that generates 14K case pages, and Selden wins, but Ford wins the appeal on Jan. 10, 1911 because his engines are based on the 1876 German Otto Engine, not the 1872 Brayton Engine of R.I. inventor George Brayton (1830-92).

In 1895 the roll-operated Pianola is invented by Edwin Votey (1856-1931) of Detroit, Mich.

In Apr. 1896 Swedish chemist Svante August Arrhenius (1859-1927) pub. On the Influence of Carbonic Acid in the Air upon the Temperature of the Earth, which first describes the effect of CO2 in raising atmospheric temps via the greenhouse effect, calculating the effect of a doubling of atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2) to be an increase in surface temp of 5C-8C, while a halving of it would produce a new ice age; "If the quantity of carbonic acid increases in geometric progression, the augmentation of the temperature will increase nearly in arithmetic progression"; in 1906 he pub. The Probable Cause of Climate Fluctuations, amending his views, lowering his estimates to 1.6C-3.9C and considering increased CO2 to be beneficial.

In 1896 French physicist Antoine Henri Becquerel (1852-1908) (grandson of Antoine Cesar Becquerel) discovers radioactivity after wrapping a photographic plate in black paper, placing a thin crystal of a uranium salt on the paper and finding that the developed plate is darkened where radiations from the uranium strike it; he finds that the radiation can also pass through aluminum and copper sheets - peeking under God's didies?

In 1896 French chemist Eugene-Anatole Demarcay (1852-1903) discovers the hard silvery metallic element Europium (Eu) (#63) in samples of samarium, taking until 1901 to isolate it; meanwhile in 1898 he uses spectroscopy to confirm that Marie Curie has discovered the element radium.

In 1896 Belgian mathematician Charles Jean Gustave Nicolas Baron de la Vallee Poussin (Charles-Jean Étienne Gustave Nicolas Le Vieux, Baron de la Vallée Poussi) (1866-1962) and French mathematician Jacques-Salomon Hadamard (1865-1963) independently prove the Prime Number Theorem, that all natural numbers are the product of one or more primes.

In 1896 German physicist Wilhelm Wien (1864-1928) pub. Wien's Displacement Law, that the wavelength of the peak of the emission of a black body is inversely proportional to its temperature, with the constant of proportionality being approx. 3 mm-K, winning him the 1911 Nobel Physics Prize; for the Sun (surface temp 6,000K) the wavelength is 500 nm (middle of the range of visible light), for the human body (300K) it's .01 mm (far infared), and for the Cosmic Microwave Background (3K) it's 1mm (microwave region); the law breaks down at long wavelengths, giving Max Planck his big idea for quantum theory in 1900.

In 1896 Scottish physicist Charles Thompson Rees Wilson (1869-1959) invents the principles behind the Cloud (Wilson) Chamber, which uses air saturated with water vapor to expose the tracks of ionizing radiation; he constructs the first one in 1911, and receives the Nobel Prize in 1927.

In 1896 Dutch physicist Hendrik Antoon Lorentz (1853-1928) and his student Pieter Zeeman (1865-1943) discover the Zeeman Effect, the splitting of an electromagnetic spectrum line in a moderately strong magnetic field into 2-3 polarized lines (normal effect) or many polarized lines (anomalous effect); Lorentz supplies the theoretical interpretation, and both win the 1902 Nobel Physics Prize.

In 1896 Cornell U. co-founder Andrew Dickson White (1832-1918) pub. A History of the Warfare of Science with Theology in Christendom (2 vols.), which became popular and won the argument with the public. based on his 1869 lecture "The Battle-Fields of Science"; "In all modern history, interference with science in the supposed interest of religion, no matter how conscientious such interference may have been, has resulted in the direst evils both to religion and to science, and invariably; and, on the other hand, all untrammelled scientific investigation, no matter how dangerous to religion some of its stages may have seemed for the time to be, has invariably resulted in the highest good both of religion and of science."

On June 4, 1896 Henry Ford (1863-1947) makes his first successful pre-dawn test-drive of his horseless carriage Quadricycle on the streets of Detroit, Mich.; meanwhile Charles B. King manufactures the first automobile in Detroit.

On May 17, 1897 County Clare, Ireland-born engineer John Philip Holland (1841-1914) and his Holland Torpedo Boat Co. of Elizabethport, N.J. launch the USS Holland (SS-1) (originally the Holland VI), a submarine with internal combustion engines for surface operation and electric motors for undersea operation, selling it to the U.S. Navy, becoming the first sub they formally commission; on Feb. 7, 1899 new owner Isaac Leopold Rice renames it the Electric Boat Co.; Holland resigns in Apr. 1904, after which the co. get into a scandal by selling submarines to the Japanese as well as the Russians, British, and Dutch; after WWII ends in 1945, the co. workforce shrinks from 13K to 4K by 1946; in 1946 it buys Canadair from the Canadian govt. for $10M, going on to win defense contracts from the Canadian govt.; on Apr. 24, 1952 it reorganizes as General Dynamics; in Mar. 1953 it purchases Convair, makers of the Atlas ICBM, becoming the #4 defense contractor on Earth by 2010.

In 1897 the discovery of the electron (the first subatomic particle) and the similarity of its motion to visible light is first described by English physicist Sir J.J. (Joseph John) Thomson (1856-1940), who experimentally determines the ratio of its mass to its charge, making him "the Father of the Electron"; he has been dir. of the Cavendish Laboratory at Cambridge U. (founded 1874) since 1894, and it goes on to generate 14 Nobel Prize winners, who discover the atomic nucleus, cloud chamber, and atom smasher. In 1908 Hans W. Geiger and A. Marsden, under the direction of Ernest Rutherford aim alpha particles at thin foils, disproving J.J. Thomson's model of the atom (electrons moving in "a sphere of uniform positive electrification") when a small percentage (1 in 8K) of the particles is scattered at an angle of 90 degrees; "It was about as credible as if you had fired a 15-in. shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you" (Rutherford, 1936). In 1910 J.J. Thomson deflects "positive rays" (alpha particles) in a magnetic field. Cavendish Lab is the place for nerds to be? In 1919 Ernest Rutherford becomes dir. of the Cavendish Lab at Cambridge U., and uses alpha particles to bombard nitrogen molecules in air, transmuting them into oxygen and hydrogen; the ancient dream of alchemists is achieved, proving that the atom is not the ultimate building block of the Universe? In 1919 J.J. Thomson pub. a paper laying the foundation of the modern theory of atomic structure, postulating the existence of an atomic "nucleus" (a term he coins next year), where all the positive charge is concentrated in a small region.

In 1897 German chemist Eduard Buchner (1860-1917) observes bubble formation in sugar-filled yeast extract in experiments of his bacteriologist brother Hans Ernst August Buchner (1850-1902), and breaks up yeast cells with hundreds of atmospheres of pressure, fine quartz sand, and filter paper and still obtains fermentation, laying to rest Pasteur's theory that only living yeast cells can do it, discovering zymase, the first enzyme, and later receiving the 1907 Nobel Chem. Prize.

In 1897 Am. physicist Amos Emerson Dolbear (1837-1910) pub. Dolbear's Law, that a male (snowy) cricket chirps a number of times in 15 sec. equal to the temp in Fahrenheit minus 40 (e.g., 30 times at 70F).

In 1897 German pharmacologist-chemist Arthur Carl Wilhelm Heffter (1859-1925) isolates Mescaline, the hallucinatory agent in peyote cactus, and becomes the first "psychonaut", willing to test the stuff on himself.

In 1897 English biochemist Sir Frederick Gowland Hopkins (1861-1947) proves that a lack of vitamins causes disease, winning him the 1929 Nobel Med. Prize along with Christiaan Eijkman, while the real discoverer, Polish biochemist Casimir Funk is snubbed - that's what I tell my wife?

In 1897 after Scottish physician Sir Patrick Manson (1844-1912) suggests the hypothesis, Indian-born English physician Sir Ronald Ross (1857-1932) discovers in Secunderabad, India that malaria isn't caused by breathing bad air, but by a parasite (bacillus) transmitted by the Anopheles (Gk. "useless") mosquito, which he finally isolates on Aug. 21 after having one bite patient Hussain Khan, then using birds to trace out its life cycle, winning him the 1902 Nobel Med. Prize.

In 1897 Yerkes Observatory in Williams Bay, Wisc., designed by Chicago, Ill.-born astronomer George Ellery Hale (1868-1938), and financed by streetcar magnate Charles Tyson Yerkes (1837-1905) begins operation, with the largest refracting telescope on Earth, a whopping 40 in.

In 1898 Polish-born French brain babe Marie Curie (1867-1934) coins the term "radioactivity"; she and her hubby Pierre Curie (1859-1906) discover the radioactive elements Radium (Ra) (#88) (named after radioactivity) (Dec. 21) and Polonium (Po) (#84) (named after her native Poland) in pitchblende from the St. Joachimsthal mines in Bohemia, winning them the 1903 Nobel Physics Prize; early medical uses found for radioactivity in cancer treatment cause it to be billed as a fountain of youth until its cancer-causing power is discovered; too bad, she dies on July 4, 1934 of leukemia caused by overexposure to radiation, and her lab has to be torn down brick by brick and her papers banned for half a cent. as too dangerous to handle without signing a medical release.

In 1898 German physicist Friedrich Ernst Dorn (1848-1916) of Halle discovers radioactive noble gas Radon (Rn) (#86) as a gas given off by radium, becoming the 3rd radioactive element discovered after radium and polonium.

In 1898 German gunsmith Wilhelm Brenneke (1865-1951) invents the Brenneke Slug, the first modern shotgun slug.

In 1898 Washington, D.C.-born engineer Edson Fessenden Gallaudet (1871-1945), son of Gallaudet U. founder Edward Miner Gallaudet builds a kite with the first warping-wing mechanism, going on to found the Gallaudet Engineering Co. in Norwich, Conn. in 1908, which test-flies an all-metal aircraft at Wright Field on June 20, 1923 before selling its assets in 1924.

On Jan. 10, 1899 Russian New York City immigrant (1891) Conrad Hubert (Akiba Horowitz) (1856-1928) of the Am. Electrical Novelty and Manufacturing co. patents a clover-leaf bicycle flashlight (#617, 592), changing the name in 1905 to Am. Ever Ready Co.; in 1914 it merges with the Nat. Carbon Co., shortening the trademark to Eveready; in 1917 it merges wth Union Carbide to form the Union Carbide and Carbon Co., using the trademark "DAYLO" for flashlights and batteries until 1921; in 1958 it introduces the Eveready Alkaline Battery, which on Mar. 1, 1980 is renamed the Energizer, with the Energizer Bunny ad campaign helping it reach a 52% market share by 1986, when the battery products div. is acquired by Ralston Purina Co., becoming the Eveready Battery Co. Inc., which is spun-off in 2000 as Energizer Holdings Inc.; meanwhile Hubert's partner Joshua Lionel Cowen (1877-1965) (who invented the flashlight for illuminating a flower pot and sold it to him) patents a device for igniting a photographer's flash, patents a device for igniting a photographer's flash, and in 1900 founds Lionel Corp. to market toy trains (until 1993).

In 1899 Norwegian scientist Kristian Olaf Bernhard Birkeland (1867-1917) leads the Norwegian Polar Expedition (ends 1900), which makes the first measurements of ground magnetic fields. In 1913 he proposes that space is filled with plasma; in 1916 he proposes that solar wind particles come in both polarities (protons and electrons); in 1919 Frederick Lindemann of Britain independently proposes it.

In 1899 French chemist Andre Louis Debierne (1874-1949) discovers the radioactive element Actinium (#89) (Ac) in pitchblende, in which it occurs in the proportion of 1 part per 5B; it is discovered independently in 1902 by Friedrich Oskar Giesel (1852-1927) in Germany, which he calls emanium.

In 1899 Austrian physician Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), who coined the term "psychoanalysis" in 1896 pub. The Interpretation of Dreams (Traumleutung), launching a scientific craze-cult, which goes on to this day; he gets a whopping $200 for it - not enough porno in it to pay more? In 1905 he pub. Three Contributions to the Theory of Sex, which links sex to anxiety, and claims that childhood experiences determine sexual orientation - shocks the Victorianism out of readers? In 1907 Austrian-born Am. psychiatrist Abraham Arden Brill (1874-1948) performs tests with Carl Jung at the Zurich Psychiatric Clinic which corroborate the theories of Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), also of Zurich; next year Brill returns to the U.S., becoming the first to introduce Freudian psychoanalysis to the U.S. In 1912 Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) pub. Psychology of the Unconscious (Wandlungen und Symbole der Libido), breaking with Freud.

On Oct. 19, 1899 17-y.-o. Worcester, Mass.-born New England teenie Robert Hutchings Goddard (1882-1945), fresh from reading H.G. Wells' 1895 novel "The War of the Worlds" climbs a cherry tree and gets his big inspiration to "make some device which had even the possibility of ascending to Mars", and devotes his life to making rockets, calling Oct. 19 his "anniversary day" - Millennium Fever works in reverse on a sci-fi fan? Right ideas, wrong world war? In 1914 he patents the Multi-Stage Rocket, and a rocket fueled with gasoline and liquid nitrous oxide. On Nov. 9, 1918 he demonstrates the first Bazooka at Aberdeen Proving Ground in Md. two days before the signing of the Armistice.

In 1899 Am. electrical engineer Robert Bowie Owens (1870-1940) and English physicist Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937) discover radioactive gaseous element radon (Rn) (#86) and alpha rays. Inn 1906 Rutherford in Canada observes that alpha particles are scattered when passing through a thin sheet of metal, but he doesn't carry the experiment further to determine how much. In 1921 Ernst Rutherford and James Chadwick disintegrate all the known elements except carbon, oxygen, lithium, and beryllium in an attempt to split the atom.

In 1899 Austrian mathematician Georg Alexander Pick (1859-1942) pub. the cool Pick's Theorem, giving the area of a simple lattice polygon as the number of interior points plus half the number of boundary points minus 1 for burgers.

In 1899 Boston, Mass.-born astronomer William Henry Pickering (1858-1938) discovers Saturn's 9th moon Phoebe; in 1905 claims to discover its 10th moon Themis, which later turns out not to exist.

In 1899 Danish engineer Valdemar Poulsen (1869-1942) invents the first magnetic tape recorder, the steel-wire drum Telegraphone (U.S. patent #661,619).

In 1900 there about 1K physicists in the world, of which one-fourth are in the U.S. (the most).

In 1900 Swiss metallurist J.A. Brinell (1849-1925) proposes the Brinell Hardness Test, pressing a small chromium steel ball into a specimen and measuring the diam. of the indentation.

In 1900 French psychologist Emile Coue (Coué) (1857-1926) begins studying hypnotism, soon coming up with a new technique he calls Conscious Autosuggestion, where the patient keeps repeating the soundbyte "Every day in every way I am getting better and better" (Tous les jours a tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux) - I pledge to watch football only 6 days a week?

In the early 1900s Am. neurosurgeon Harvey Williams Cushing (1869-1939) develops basic modern brain surgery techniques.

In 1900-1 Austrian-born Jewish-Am. scientist Karl Landsteiner (1868-1943) discovers A-B-AB-O blood grouping based on the presence of agglutinins, winning him the 1930 Nobel Med. Prize. In 1909 he, Constantin Levaditi (1874-1953) of Romania, and Erwin Popper (1879-1955) of Austria discover the Polio Virus.

In 1900 French mathematician Henri Leon Lebesgue (1875-1941) formulates the Mathematical Theory of Measure, followed by the Lebesgue Integral (1902-4).

In 1900 French chemist Francois Auguste Victor Grignard (1871-1935) pub. the Grignard Reaction, using magnesium-containing Grignard reagants to add a carbonyl group to an aldehyde or ketone, forming carbon-carbon bonds, winning him the 1912 Nobel Chem. Prize.

In 1900 German chemist Friedrich Wilhelm Ostwald (1853-1932) discovers the Ostwald-Brauer Process (patented in 1902) for oxidizing ammonia to prepare nitric acid for explosives, which Germany uses in WWI to beat the Allied blockade of nitrates.

In 1900 English physicist John William Strutt, 3rd Baron Rayleigh (1842-1919) pub. the Rayleigh-Jeans Law (improved by Sir James Jeans in 1905), claiming that the spectral radiance (emission at a single frequency) of a "black body" (perfect absorber of radiation, radiating an amount equal to that which it is absorbing) is proportional to the frequency to the fourth power, which heads toward infinity as the frequency approaches infinity, causing the Ultraviolet Catastrophe, the prediction that a black body emits radiation with infinite power; on Oct. 19 after ruminating not on that but on why Wien's 1896 Displacement Law breaks down at low frequencies, German physicist Max Planck (1858-1947) announces to the Berlin Physical Society his revolutionary Planck's Radiation Law, proposing the (Old) Quantum Theory to account for the radiation from a black body, explaining that it is emitted in discrete quanta, each being of an energy value equal to Planck's constant h times the frequency, and violating the ancient maxim "Natura non facit saltum" (Nature doesn't make jumps); as he can't explain the meaning of his new constant, he delves into atomic theory to try and find a clue; meanwhile herr Wilhelm Wien proposes the formula E = (3/4) * M * C^2 for the relation between electromagnetic mass and electromagnetic energy - don't complain about the wienie in your neighbor's eye when you have a planck in your own?

In 1900 U.S physician Walter Reed (1851-1902) of the Army Medical College in Washington, D.C. heads a commission sent to Cuba to investigate the cause and transmission of yellow fever, and discovers that it is transmitted by the mosquito Aedes aegypti, just like old Carlos Finlay had claimed back in 1881, allowing William Crawford Gorgas (1854-1920) to virtually eliminate the disease from Havana within 3 mo.; meanwhile four people, incl. U.S. physician James Carroll (1854-1907) allow themselves to be infected to help research treatment; the idea that insects cause disease still finds little public acceptance?

In 1900 French physicist Paul Ulrich Villard (1860-1934) discovers Gamma Rays (energies above 100KeV).

In Feb. 1900 the $1 Kodak Brownie camera is introduced, featuring a simple meniscus lens that takes 2.25 in. square pictures on 117 roll film; "You push the button, we do the rest"; named after the Palmer Cox cartoons.

In 1901 Bavarian-born German psychiatrist Alois Alzheimer (1864-1915) of Frankfurt discovers Alzheimer's Disease after patient Auguste Deter (1850-1906) tells him "I have lost myself" - old timer's disease?

In 1901 Russian physiologist Ivan Petrovich Pavlov (1849-1936) develops the concept of the conditioned reflex using his salivating dogs.

On Dec. 10, 1901 (St. Lucia's Day) (5th anniv. of Alfred Nobel's death) (4:30 p.m.) the first Nobel Prizes are awarded in the Stockholm Concert Hall after a rehearsal; Red Cross founder Jean Henri (Henry) Dunant (1828-1910) of Switzerland and Frederic Passy (1822-1912) of France win the first Nobel Peace Prize (done that, it's passe?); Rene Francois Armand Sully Prudhomme (1839-1907) of France wins for Literature; 6 of the first 9 lit. winners wear beards (Giosue Carducci's is the most bristly and pointy); Wilhelm Konrad (Conrad) Roentgen (Röntgen) (1845-1923) of Germany wins for Physics [X-rays]; Jacobus Henricus van't Hoff (1852-1911) of the Netherlands wins for Chemistry [stereochemistry], and Emil Adolph von Behring (1854-1917) of Germany wins for Medicine and Physiology (antitoxins); the first Nobel Prize Medals (23-carat, 2.5 in. diam., .25 kg), designed by Swedish artist Erik Lindberg (1873-1966) are minted next year, with a bas-relief of Alfred Nobel on the obverse, and Isis and the genius of Science (lifting a veil from her face) on the reverse; women only get 34 of the first 800?

TLW's Nobel Prizes Historyscope

In 1901 the amino acid Tryptophan (found in turkey meat) is discovered by English biochemist Frederick Gowland Hopkins (1861-1947).

In 1901 the hormone Adrenalin is first isolated and patented by Japanese-born. "samurai chemist" Jokichi Takamine (1854-1922) of the U.S., becoming the first purified animal gland hormone.

In 1901 German scientist Richard Fiedler invents the modern Flamethrower (Flammenwerfer) for the German army.

In 1901 Am. engineer Peter Cooper Hewitt (1861-1921) invents the Mercury Vapor Lamp.

In 1901 German scientist Adolf Miethe (1862-1927) invents Panchromatic Film for a 3-color camera he designs, which is built in 1903 by Wilhelm Bermpohl.

On Aug. 14, 1901 Bavarian-born Gustave Albin Whitehead (Gustav Albin Weisskopf) (1874-1927) makes the first powered flight in his No. 21 aircraft in Fairfield, Conn., flying 0.5 mi. and reaching 50 ft. alt.; historians later dispute it and give the credit to the Wright Brothers. On June 5, 2013 the Conn. Senate passes a bill officially recognizing him as the first to fly.

On Sept. 28, 1901 after spending seven years inventing the $5 Gillette Safety Razor, with disposable wafer-thin stamped slivers of cheap steel held in a safety clamp, Crown bottle cap salesman King Camp Gillette (1855-1932) founds Am. Safety Razor Co., changing it next July to Gillette Safety Razor Co.; his first sale (1903) is 51 straight razors and 168 blades; in 1904 sales zoom to 90K razors and 1.24M blades.

In 1901 French bicyclist Paul de Vivie (1853-1930) AKA Velocio begins perfecting the Derailleur (which may have already existed in Britain?), causing him to become known as the Father of Bicycle Touring.

On Jan. 16, 1902 the existence and function of hormones are discovered by English physiologist Ernest Henry Starling (1866-1927) of University College, London; Starling and English physiologist Sir William Maddock Bayliss (1860-1924) discover the hormone secretin; Am. geneticist Walter Stanborough Sutton (1877-1916) and German biologist Theodor Heinrich Boveri (1862-1915) independently (via work with sea urchins) propose the Boveri-Sutton Chromosome Theory that chromosomes contain genetic info.; Sutton coins the term "gene"; Boveri theorizes that a cancerous tumor starts with a cell that gets its chromosomes scrambled; also in 1902 Bayliss discovers the Bayliss Effect (Myogenic Response), whereby blood vessels contract or distend based on blood pressure to create an autoregulation mechanism.

In 1902 French meteorologist Leon Teisserenc de Bort (1855-1913) uses instrumented balloons to discover a point in Earth's atmosphere at about 40K-50K ft. (0.1 bar) where the air stops cooling and begins growing warmer, which he calls the Tropopause, also coining the terms Stratosphere for the layer above and Troposphere for the layer below (down to ground level).

In 1902 English physicist Oliver Heaviside (1850-1925) and Am. electrical engineer Arthur Edwin Kennelly (1861-1939) independently discover the Kennelly-Heaviside Layer (E-Layer) of the Earth's atmosphere, which conducts radio waves, theorizing that it's caused by ionized gas - from the dog kennel to heaven's side?

In 1902 French physician Charles Robert Richet (1850-1935) discovers Anaphylaxis, winning him the 1913 Nobel Med. Prize.

In 1902 the first Tyrannosaurus Rex (T-Rex) skeleton is discovered in Hell Creek, Mont. by fossil hunter Barnum Brown (1873-1963), and housed in the Carnegie Museum of Nat. History in Pittsburgh, Penn.; Henry Fairfield Osborn (1857-1935) makes the First Drawing of a T-Rex - and his boy was named Sue?

On Feb. 15, 1902 British inventor Daniel "Dan" Albone (1860-1906) files a patent for the first commercially successful gasoline-powered farm tractor, forming Ivel Agricultural Motors Ltd. and selling them for £300 and building 500; in 1903 Charles W. Hart and Charles H. Parr begin marketing a 2-cylinder gasoline engine tractor in Charles City, Iowa, dooming the 20M horses and mules on U.S. farms to obsolescence over the next 20 years.

In 1902 French chemist-physicist-engineer ("the Edison of France") Georges Claude (1870-1960) invents the Neon Lamp; true neon signs are only red; the first neon sign is introduced in France in 1910; he receives a patent on Jan. 19, 1915.

In 1902 French inventor Arthur Constantin Krebs (1850-1935) invents the Automatic Diaphragm Carburetor to provide a constant air-fuel ratio during acceleration, causing a dramatic improvement in fuel economy. Also in 1902 Frederick W. Lanchester of the U.K. is granted the first patent for hydraulic power steering.

In 1902 Danish engineer Valdemar Poulsen (1869-1942) invents the Poulsen Arc Transmitter, which is widely used in radio until the advent of vacuum tubes.

In 1903 Croatian inventor Slavoljub Eduard Penkala (1871-1922) patents the rubber hot water bottle, which calls the "Termofor"; previously they were made of metal or porcelain' in 1906 he invents an improved mechanical pencil, which he calls the automatic pencil, followed in 1907 by the first solid ink fountain pen, founding the Penkala-Moster Co. with entrepreneur Edmund Moster, which becomes one of the world's biggest pen-pencil factories.

In 1903 the Oxyacetylene torch is invented in France by Edmond Fouche and Charles Picard, revolutionizing welding.

In 1903 German physician Carl Joseph Gauss (1875-1957) develops the Freiburg Method of "Twilight Sleep" using a combo of morphine and scopolamine as a surgical anesthesia to replace chloroform during childbirth.

In 1903 Am. horticulturist Hebert John Webber (1865-1946) coins the word "clone" to mean a colony of organisms derived via asexual reproduction from a single progenitor.

Blondlots have more fun? In 1903 French physicist Rene Prosper Blondlot (1849-1930) of the U. of Nancy claims to discover N-Rays, a new form of radiation that causes changes in brightness of electric sparks in spark gaps; by 1905 the idea is rejected by the scientific community after debunking by Am. physicist Robert Williams Wood (1868-1955).

In 1903 German biologist Hermann Henking (1858-1942) discovers and names the X chromosome, identifying it as a sex chromosome in 1903.

In 1903 Hungarian physicist Philipp Lenard (1862-1947) observes that swift cathode rays can pass through metal sheets, proving that a large portion of the atom consists of empty space, winning him the 1905 Nobel Physics Prize.

In 1903 barbiturates (derivatives of barbituric acid) are introduced into medicine in Germany.

In 1903 Dr. Moises Santiago Bertoni discovers the Stevia rebaudiana natural sweetener herb in Paraguay.

In Nov. 1903 Mary Anderson patents the first windshield wiper; it uses a handle inside the car; it takes until 1916 before they become std. equipment on U.S. cars.

In 1903 French chemist Edouard Benedictus invents Laminated Safety Glass after a glass flask coated with cellulose nitrate is dropped; it is first used in gas masks during WWI, and widespread use in autos comes after the war, using an interlayer of polyvinyl butyral (PVB).

In 1903 after his electromagnetic cannon of 1901 proves a dud, Norwegian physicist Kristian Olaf Birkeland (1867-1917) hooks up with Norwegian engineer Samuel "Sam" Eyde (1866-1940) and uses it as the basis of a machine for producing artificial fertilizer; too bad, he is passed over for a Nobel Prize because the device makes money?

In 1903 Willem Einthoven (1860-1927) of Holland invents the heavy-magnet Electrocardiograph, and takes the first electrocardiogram (ECG) (EKG), winning him the 1924 Nobel Med. Prize; he invents Einthoven's Triangle on the chest as the points to attach the leads, along with the PQRST terminology for the various deflections.

In 1903 Ludwig Roselius (1847-1943) of Bremen, Germany invents the first commercially successful decaffeination process.

In 1903 Karl Auer von Welsbach (1858-1929) of Germany patents Lighter Flints, composed of a 70-30 alloy of cerium and iron that give off sparks when struck, becoming popular for cigarette lighters.

In 1903 Richard Adolf Zsigmondy (1865-1929) invents the Ultramicroscope for the illumination of smoke particles, fog droplets, etc., winning him the 1925 Nobel Chem. Prize.

Here kitty kitty kitty? 12 sec. 120 feet? On Dec. 17, 1903 (10:35 a.m.) the Wright Brothers from Dayton, Ohio, incl. Wilbur Wright (1867-1912) and Orville Wright (1871-1948) make the first powered human flight of 120 ft. in 12 (13?) sec. on 90-ft. Kill Devil Hill near Kitty Hawk, N.C. on the Outer Banks (chosen for sand dunes and high winds) in Wright Flyer I, which is made of muslin, wood, and steel, and weighs 605 lb.; the wingspan of a Boeing 747 jumbo jet is 195.7 ft.; prior to this they achieved a 59-ft. flight in Bird of Prey; Orville won the 50-cent coin toss with heads and got to do the flying, after which they take turns; the pilot must crawl between the wings and fly in a prone position while the other opens the throttle of their homemade 12 hp. engine, and they make four flights at low altitudes, taking until 1905 to master controlled flight; later the same day Wilbur ups the record to 59 sec., covering 852 ft.; they had been coming to Kitty Hawk every year since 1900 testing their gliders; the Airplane Waltz is created as a novelty; meanwhile earlier in the year rivals Samuel Pierpont Langley (1834-1906) and Charles Manly (1876-1927) fail in two trials with their piloted plane, and run out of funding; later it is discovered that the plane worked, and was given inadequate room for takeoff - how could they sleep after that?

In 1903 Willem Einthoven (1860-1927) of Holland invents the heavy-magnet Electrocardiograph, and takes the first electrocardiogram (ECG) (EKG), winning him the 1924 Nobel Med. Prize; he invents Einthoven's Triangle on the chest as the points to attach the leads, along with the PQRST terminology for the various deflections.

In 1904 using the Hallwachs Effect of 1888, Julius P.L. Elster (1854-1920) of Germany invents the first practical Photoelectric Cell.

In 1904 English engineer Sir John Ambrose Fleming (1849-1945) becomes the first to use a thermonic (vacuum) tube to generate radio waves.

About 1904 Ford Motor Co. employee Louis Goldenberg of New Brunswick, N.J. invents the electric washing machine.

In 1904 Austrian priest-physicist August Musger (1868-1929) patents the slow-motion effect in films, using a mirrored drum as a synchronization mechanism;

In 1904 David Roberts of Grantham, England patents the continuous track for use on tractors; in 1907 Benjamin Holt of Calif. patents the crawler type tread tractor; in 1914 (WWI) they start out being used to transport artillery, and in 1915 British Lt. Col. Ernest Swinton of the Royal Engineers proposes to the War Office that they should be used in an armored track vehicle that can destroy German guns, which is adopted by Winston Churchill, who calls them "land ships".

Every time I tried to tell you the words just came out wrong, so I had to tell you in a relativistic song? In 1905 while working in the Swiss Patent Office in Bern, Austria-born Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) has his Miracle Year of 1905, publishing five theoretical physics papers in Annalen der Physik, three of which are key to the development of 20th cent. physics: on the photoelectric effect (going beyond Planck to explain aborption as well as emission of radiation, and deriving the famous equation E = M * C^2, which goes beyond Maxwell and Planck, who showed how energy can be described by Fourier waveforms, and suggests that matter and energy are waveforms that can be mutually transformed), on statistical mechanics, and on the Special Theory of Relativity, which suggests abandoning the idea of absolute time and space by turning the speed (distance of travel divided by elapsed time) of light upside down as the real absolute (which, like Newton's theory, becomes a religious and political lost-shaker-of-salt hot potato because of its revolutionary social implications to some deep thinkers?); he also pub. a theoretical explanation of Brownian motion in terms of atoms, which is experimentally verified by French physicist Jean Baptiste Perrin, ending the dispute over John Dalton's Atomic Theory; he formulates the Relativistic Mirror Gedankenexperiment, claiming that the reflection from a mirror moving close to c would produce bright light pulses in the short wavelength range, which is confirmed in 2013; he incl. his wife Marity's name on the papers and gives her the Nobel Prize money; she really did all the math for him?; for the next five years few read or respond to the articles, until one day the great man himself, Max Planck becomes a groupie and invites him into the club, launching Lazy Eye's meteoric rise through Zurich U., Berlin, his Nobel (for the photoelectric effect, not relativity), and soon I've been everywhere, man, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for, a Unified Field Theory (UFT), AKA the Theory of Everything, a set of five equations attempting to unify electromagnetism and gravity, which he pub. in 1954. On Nov. 25, 1915 Einstein pub. his Gen. Theory of Relativity, stating that a uniform gravitational field is equivalent to a uniform acceleration, and reducing all gravitational physics to 4-dimensional geometry; too bad, atheists and Darwinian evolutionists seize on it and try to make it too general, expanding it to all philosophy, psychology, morals and ethics?; Einstein was actually a plagiarist, stealing "E=MC^2" from an 1903 paper by Olinto de Pretto and another 1904 paper by Friedrich Hasenhorf, the special theory of relativity from an 1878 Encyclopedia Britannica article by James Clerk Maxwell, a 1889 paper by George Fitzgerald, and an 1898 paper by Henri Poincare, the quantum theory from a 1900 paper by Max Planck and Wilhelm Wien, the photoelectric effect from an 1888 paper by Heinrich Hertz, the deflection of the light around the Sun by Sir Isaac Newton ca. 1700, Brownian motion from an 1827 paper by Robert Brown, plus more from an 1801 paper by Johann Georg von Soldner? On May 29, 1919 an eclipse is photographed by two British expeditions, one in Africa and the other in Brazil, the latter manned by English astronomer Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington (1882-1944), and Einstein's Theory of General Relativity is claimed to be confirmed. In 1950 Einstein pub. his General Field Theory; "Time and space and gravitation have no separate existence from matter"; "Physical objects are not in space, but these objects are spatially extended (as fields). In this way the concept 'empty space' loses its meaning... The field thus becomes an irreducible element of physical description, irreducible in the same sense as the concept of matter (particles) in the theory of Newton... The physical reality of space is represented by a field whose components are continuous functions of four independent variables - the co-ordinates of space and time. Since the theory of general relativity implies the representation of physical reality by a continuous field, the concept of particles or material points cannot play a fundamental part, nor can the concept of motion. The particle can only appear as a limited region in space in which the field strength or the energy density are particularly high."

Just upload your catchphrases at Moron.com? In 1905 the Binet-Simon IQ Test is developed by French psychologists Alfred Binet (1857-1911) and Theodore Simon (1872-1961); too bad, to take it you have to speak French, but never fear, in 1908 East Vassalboro, Maine-born God's-gift psychologist Henry Herbert Goddard (1866-1957), dir. (1906-8) of the Vineland Training School for Feeble-Minded Girls and Boys in Vineland, N.J. trans. it into English and distributes 22K copies, introducing the term "mormon", er, "moron" and promoting not only intelligence testing to weed them out, but proposing IQ labels on May 18, 1910 (moron is actually the top of the food chain, with IQ of 51-70, i.e., mental age of 8-12, followed by imbecile at 26-50 and oh no, dumber-than-a-donut idiot at 0-25), then helping write the first U.S. law is founded requiring special segregated education for them in public schools along with the blind and deaf; in 1912 he pub. The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-Mindedness; now listen while I tell you a story about a man named Martin, whose Appalachian descendants get into inbreeding and become "a race of defective degenerates", causing him to call for eugenics programs incl. compulsory sterilization and segregation for the feeble-minded; in 1913 he tests IQs of 172 Euro immigrants on Ellis Island, finding that he correctly matches 80% of feeble-minded immigrants with those classed that way before they left; in 1914 he becomes the first U.S. non-moron psychologist to lend his high IQ to testify in court that being a moron should limit criminal responsibility of defendants; he also utters the unmoronly soundbyte: "Democracy means that the people rule by selecting the wisest, most intelligent and most human to tell them what to do to be happy" - what, me worry, here comes another "There are two kinds of people" messiah - not, since now morons ain't even human (you need a toupee with some brains in it, nyuk nyuk?)

In 1905 French surgeon Alexis Carrel (1873-1944) emigrates to the U.S., going on to develop new methods of suturing blood vessels and grafting veins and arteries. In 1922 he discovers white corpuscles.

In 1905 Italian physician Aldo Castellani (1877-1971) discovers the cause of the infectious tropical disease Yaws (which causes disfiguring raspberry-like skin lesions) as the spirochete Treponema pertenue, which is closely related to the syphilis spirochete.

In 1905 German zoologist Fritz Schaudinn (1871-1906) and German dermatologist Erich Hoffmann (1868-1959) of Germany isolate Spirochaeta pallida, the organism causing syphilis at the Berlin Charite Clinic - too late for superman Nietzsche?

In 1905 German chemist Alfred Einhorn (1857-1917) uses Benzocaine to invent non-addictive Procaine, AKA Novocaine (Novocain) (Lat. "new" + caine meaning alkaloid used for an anesthetic); in 1907 German dentist Heinrich Friedrich Wilhelm Braun (1862-1934) introduces it into dentistry to replace addictive cocaine.

In 1905 Austrian physicist Robert von Lieben (1878-1913) invents the thermionic valve for amplifiers.

In 1905 the Popsicle is invented by 11-y.-o. Frank W. Epperson (1894-1983) of Calif. after leaving a frozen drink out over night with a stirring stick in it; he waits until the 1920s to go in biz with it, originally calling it Epsicle until his kids start calling it "pop's sicle"; it is patented in 1924.

In 1905 Am. novelist Morgan Robertson (1861-1915) pub. The Submarine Destroyer, which describes his invention of the periscope, which he sells to the Holland Submarine Co. for $50K.

In 1905 Rayon yarn is first manufactured through a viscose process. In 1924 the Du Pont Co. introduces Rayon, a synthetic fiber manufactured from the cellulose fiber of natural wood pulp; in 1936 the first colored Hawaiian aloha shirts are produced, proliferating like tropical vines?

In 1905 Elmer Ambrose Sperry (1860-1930) of the U.S. and Hermann Franz Joseph Hubertus Maria Anschutz-Kaempfe (Anschütz-Kaempfe) (1872-1931) of Germany invent the Gyrocompass; in 1910 Sperry founds the Sperry Gyroscope Co. in Brooklyn, N.Y.; in 1914 Anschutz-Kaempfe sues Sperry for patent infringement and wins.

In 1906 Romanian botanist Aaron Aaronsohn (1876-1919) discovers Triticum diococcoides ("mother of wheat") while on a field trip to Mount Hermon, making him an internat. celeb., which he uses to help him work for the Allies and Zionists in WWI.

In 1906 Am. radiochemist Bertram Borden Boltwood (1870-1927) discovers the element Ionium, and shows it to be chemically identical to thorium, proving the existence of isotopes; in 1907 he uses the decay of uranium to lead to date rocks to ages between 400M and 2.2B years, becoming the first successful use of Radiometric Dating; the Nat. Academy of Sciences officially adopts it in 1926.

In 1906 Am. geologist Clarence Edward Dutton (1841-1912) pub. a theory, based on studies in Hawaii, Calif., and Ore. that volcanism is caused by radioactivity.

In 1906 English biochemist Arthur Harden (1865-1940) discovers cases of catalysis among enzymes, going on to win the 1929 Nobel Chem. Prize.

In 1906-12 German chemist Walter Hermann Nernst (1864-1941) formulates the Third Law of Thermodynamics, that the entropy of a system approaches a constant value as its temperature approaches absolute zero.

In 1906 Italian economist Vilfredo Federico Damaso Pareto (1848-1923) makes the observation that 20% of the pop. owns 80% of the property in Italy, which is generalized as the Pareto Principle.

In 1906 Austrian pediatrician Clemens von Pirquet (1874-1929) and Hungarian-born Jewish Am. pediatrician Bela Schick (1877-1967) coin the term "allergy", from the Greek "allos" + "ergon" = other + reaction.

In 1906 the rare earth metal element Lutetium (Lu) (#71) is discovered by French chemist Georges Urbain (1872-1938) after he separates ytterbia (discovered in 1878 by Jean de Marignac) into neoytterbia (ytterbium) and lutecia (lutetium); Karl (Carl) Auer Freiherr von Welsbach (1858-1929) of Germany independently does the same thing, calling them aldebaranium and cassiopeium.

In 1906 German bacteriologist August von Wassermann (1866-1925) devises the Wassermann (Wasserman) Test for pesky syphilis - was up er, man?

In 1906 the ancient site of Hatti is discovered in the village of Bogazkoy (Boghazkeui) (Hattushash) in Turkey 150 mi. S of Sinop, incl. the royal archives containing 10K Hittite cuneiform documents.

In 1906 the Queen Alexandra's Birdwing, largest butterfly in the world is discovered in Papua New Guinea by Albert Stewart Meek (1871-1943), and named next year in honor of Edward VII's wife.

On Feb. 10, 1906 the revolutionary 17.9K-ton 21-knot HMS Dreadnought, the first modern battleship is launched, designed by British top adm. John Arbuthnot "Jackie" Fisher, 1st Baron Fisher (1841-1920) ("the second Lord Horatio Nelson"), featuring 11-in. armor and 10 12-in. guns ("all big-gun battleship"); by May the Germans decide to build six of their own dreadnoughts, voting to widen and deepen the Kiel Canal to allow their passage.

In 1906 Am. engineer Willis Carrier (1876-1950) patents his first cooling system, going to make air conditioning popular and help populate the U.S. Sunbelt.

On Dec. 24, 1906 (Xmas Eve) Canadian-born Reginald Aubrey Fessenden (1866-1932) (the Thomas Edison of Canada?) broadcasts the first radio program consisting of voice and music in Brant Rock, Mass. using a 75 Khz 500 watt Alexanderson High Frequency Alternator designed by Swedish-born engineer Ernst Alexanderson (1878-1975); the transmission is heard as far away as the Caribbean Sea.

In 1906 Am. inventor Lee De Forest (1873-1961) invents the Audion Triode Vacuum Tube, spurring the development of radio. In 1919 he invents the Phonofilm System for recording sound on motion picture film as parallel lines of variable density shades of gray.

In 1906 Maine-born Am. engineer Jean-Luc Picard, er, Greenleaf Whittier Pickard (1877-1956) discovers the rectifying properties of crystals, causing the first Cat's Whisker Crystal Radio sets to be made, becoming popular by the end of the decade.

In 1906 George Albert Smith (1864-1959) of England invents Kinemacolor, the first successful color motion picture process, using a 2-color additive color process that projects B&W film behind alternating red and green filters; it is used commercially until 1914.

In 1906 Am. race car driver Ray Harroun (1879-1968) develops the spring-mounted automobile bumper.

In 1906 Belgium-born George Constant Louis Washington (1871-1946) of New York City invents Red E Coffee during a trip to Central Am., returning and marketing it in 1909, becoming the first mass-produced Instant Coffee.

In 1906 Ex-Lax (phenolphthalein) begins to be marketed, becoming the first commercial laxative in tablet form; in 1995 studies are pub. linking the active ingredient to cancer in mice.

In 1907 Am. radiochemist Bertram Borden Boltwood (1870-1927) uses the decay of uranium to lead to date rocks to ages between 400M and 2.2B years, becoming the first successful use of Radiometric Dating.

In 1907 English astronomer Sir George Howard Darwin (1845-1912) (son of Charles Darwin) and Am. astronomer William Henry Pickering (1858-1938) speculate that the Moon was created by breaking away from the Pacific Ocean; Pickering also proposes that Am., Asia, Europe, and Africa were once a single continent, and drifted after the Moon separated.

In 1907 German chemist Hermann Emil Louis Fischer (1852-1919) discovers Peptide Chains, consisting of amino acids that fold in three dims. to produce proteins.

In 1907 Irish physicist Arthur William Conway (1875-1950) proposes that spectral lines are created by single electrons, each in an "abnormal state", producing vibrations of a specific frequency, which is later used by Niels Bohr to develop quantum mechanics.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? In 1907 a Nobel Prize under his belt for digestion, Ivan P. Pavlov (1849-1936) studies conditioned reflexes with his salivate-on-cue Pavlov's Dogs.

In 1907 the first Blood Transfusion of matched (typed) blood takes place.

In 1907 a single jaw is found in Germany, which scientists decide is a new hominoid species termed Homo heidelbergensis (Heidelberg Man), dating it to -150K, and deciding that it is a direct ancestor of the Neanderthal - meet the Flintstones?

The Age of Plastic begins with something baking? In 1907 Bakelite (pr. BAY-ka-lite), a plastic made out of phenol and formaldehyde, and first sold as a synthetic substitute for shellac is invented and manufactured (baked?) by Leo Hendrik Baekeland (1863-1944), who came to the U.S. in 1889, and invented Velox photographic paper in 1893, and sold his patent to Kodak for $1M; it is so versatile and superior in its chemical, mechanical, and physical qualities that it can be molded into any unbreakable shape, and is a perfect insulator, making possible the first automobile self-starters.

On Sept. 19, 1907 French Nobel Prize winning physiologist Charles Robert Richet (1850-1935) makes a successful ascent of about 2 ft. in a tethered aircraft with four biplane rotors in Douai, France, becoming the first successful helicopter, designed by Louis Charles Breguet (1880-1955) and his brother Jacques Breguet, and named the Gyroplane Laboratoire. On Nov. 13 French aviator Paul Cornu (1881-1944) makes a 6-ft.-high, 20 sec. free flight in a homemade tandem-rotor helicopter in Lisieux.

In 1907 French chemist Eugene Schueller (1881-1957) invents a new hair dye which he calls Aureale, founding L'Oreal (originally Societe Francaise de Teintures Inoffensives pour Cheveux), which grows into a cosmetics giant.

In 1907 Am. janitor James Murray Spangler (1848-1915) invents the "suction sweeper" using an old fan motor, a soap box, broom handle, and pillow case, obtaining a patent next June and founding the Electric Suction Sweeper Co; an early buyer is his cousin, whose hubby William Hoover goes on to purchase the rights from him and found the Hoover Co., starting out offering a 10-day free home trial of its first model, the $125 ($60?) Model O (complete with steel casing, casters, and attachments), and er, sweeping the U.S. market, making "hoover" into a verb, adding a "beater bar" in 1919 (with the slogan "It beats as it sweeps as it cleans"), disposal filter bags in the 1920s, and an upright model in 1926; his son Herbert William Hoover Sr. (1877-1954), who helped all along takes over after the Boss dies.

In 1907 Chicago dentist H. William Taggart adapts the disappearing wax technique of jewelers to the making of accurate gold dental inlays, and later discovers that he had been preceded by 25 years by Dr. Philbrook of Dennison, Iowa.

In July 1907 William Willett (1856-1915) of England pub. the pamphlet The Waste of Daylight, proposing Daylight Savings Time, with clocks advanced by 20 min. at 2 a.m. each Sunday in Apr. for a total of 80 min., then retarded likewise in Sept.; despite Winston Churchill's backing, Parliament rejects it until WWI forces them to reconsider.

In 1907 Persil becomes the first commercially marketed laundry detergent.

In 1908 Japanese scientist Kikunae Ikeda (1864-1936) discovers L-glutamic Acid, the active ingredient in kombu seaweed, whose taste he calls umami, causing its salt monosodium glutamate (MSG) to begin to be used as a flavor enhancer; during WWII the U.S. finds out about it, and it is introduced to the U.S. food industry after the war.

In 1908 Am. astronomer Henrietta Swan Leavitt (1868-1921) discovers the correlation between period of variability and absolute luminosity of star Delta Cepheid, and goes on to confirm the value of all Cepheid variables by 1912, allowing galactic distances to be calculated, after which in 1915 Harlow Shapley uses Cepheid Variables to form a rough size-shape for the Milky Way and the Sun's position within it - allowing male astronomers to rush in to steal her Nobel Prize from Leavitt to Beaver?

In 1908 German mathematician Hermann Minkowski (1864-1909) formulates a 4-dim. geometry, which is later adapted by Albert Einstein for his relativity theory.

On July 10, 1908 the first liquid helium is created by Heike Kamerlingh Onnes (1853-1926) in Leiden, Holland, becoming the last gaseous element to be liquified.

In 1908 Swiss physicist Walther Ritz (1878-1909) follows up the work of Arthur Conway and proposes the Rydberg-Ritz Combination Principle, that the spectral lines of any element incl. frequencies that are either the sum or the difference of the frequencies in two other lines, which is later used by Niels Bohr to develop the idea of quantum numbers; meanwhile he begins the Ritz-Einstein Argument with Albert Einstein over the reversibility of time, and by next year they end up agreeing to disagree before Ritz irreversibly kicks off.

In 1908 Austrian physicist Otto Tumlirz (1890-1957) proves that the Coriolis Force determines the direction of the vortex in a draining liquid only if it is allowed to settle long enough before the plug is pulled.

On Oct. 1, 1908 the Ford Motor Co. of Henry Ford (1863-1947) begins producing the epoch-making Model T Ford (Leaping Lena) (Flivver) (Tin Lizzie, named for a reliable servant) in Dearborn, Mich. (until May 27, 1927), becoming the first affordable automobile, causing them to come rapidly into use by the masses; for $825 you get 20 hp, top speed of 45 mph, and gas economy of 13-21 mpg, with the ability to run on gasoline, kerosene, or ethanol; a trembler coil system replaces expensive magnetos, but requires a starting battery and AC alternator; it sells 10.6K units the first year, with Henry Ford writing the soundbyte in 1909: "Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black", although they come in grey, green, blue, and red until 1912, then midnight blue with black fenders, finally black-only in 1914, with 30 different types of black paint used; the Model T doubles as a tractor and portable engine for farm use; mass-production lowers the price to $300 by 1926, and 15M are eventually sold; long-distance transportation of passengers and goods are not done by road until 1914; the days of horses and buggies come to a quick end, transforming the entire U.S. On Jan. 14, 1915 after viewing newsreels of people butchering people on an assembly-line basis in Europe, Henry Ford (1863-1947) develops the Assembly Line Method of producing automobiles, using a chain to pull each chassis along at his new Highland Park Ford Plant near Detroit, Mich., known as the Crystal Palace, which becomes the first to use a moving (conveyor belt) assembly line, reducing the time needed to produce a Model T from 1.5 days to 93 min. (sensationalized as "one a minute"), achieving an output of 1K cars a day; on Jan. 5 Ford announces the new 40-hour workweek at a pay of $5 per day, up from $2.34; with Thomas Edison's help he creates the first charcoal Barbecue (BBQ) Briquettes using wood scraps and sawdust from his Model T factory.

In 1908 German housefrau Melitta Benz makes a coffee filter out of her son's notebook paper on June 20, inventing the Drip Coffeemaker.

In 1908 the flat-folded paper Dixie Cup (originally Health Kup) is invented by Boston, Mass. atty. Lawrence Luellen; he begins distributing them on Mar. 23, 1912 with Hugh Moore.

In 1908 after 10 years of research, Swiss chemist and textile engineer Jacques Edwin Brandenberger (1872-1954) patents machinery for manufacturing Cellophane.

In 1908 French engineer Rene Lorin (1877-1933) patents the Ramjet; it is only good for subsonic speeds, and he never actually succeeds in making one work, allowing French engineer Rene Leduc (1898-1968) to get his supersonic ramjet patented in 1933, building the Leduc 0.10, the first ramjet aircraft, which makes its first flight on Nov. 19, 1946.

In 1908 Eugene Sullivan of Corning Glass Works develops Nonex borosilicate glass for battery jars and lantern globes; in 1913 Pyrex ("pie" as in pie plate + "ex") brand glass is invented by Jesse Littleton of Corning when he uses a cut-down Nonex battery jar for a casserole dish; it is introduced commercially in 1915 to compete with the Duran borosilicate glass of Schott AG in Germany.

In 1908 E.E. Perkins files U.S. patent #7168101 for "sexual armor", a metal-plated unisex chastity belt designed to prevent masturbation in teens and thus lower the nat. rate of "insanity and feeble-mindedness".

In 1908 Scottish engineer Alan Archibald Campbell-Swinton (1863-1930) first proposes using a cathode ray to scan a TV image as an alternative to mechanical scanning devices in the June 18 issue of Nature - I'm givin' the warp engines all she's got, captain?

In 1909 Danish mathematician Agner Krarup Erlang (1878-1929) pub. "The Theory of Probabilities and Telephone Conversations" to describe probabilities of equipment use in the Copenhagen telephone exchange, founding Queueing Theory; he follows it in 1917 with "Solution of Some Problems in the Theory of Probabilities of Significance in Automatic Telephone Exchanges".

In 1909 Am. physicists Robert Andrews Millikan (1868-1953) and Harvey Fletcher (1884-1981) perform the Millikan Oil-Drop Experiment to establish that electric charge consists of integral multiples of a unit charge; after Fletcher agrees to let him in return for using the results on his 1911 U. of Chicago dissertation (becoming their first student to earn a Ph.D. summa cum laude), Millikan takes all the credit, winning the 1923 Nobel Physics Prize; Fletcher goes on to work at Bell Labs and become "the Father of Stereophonic Sound".

In 1909 Iranian telegraph operator Joseph (Yusef) becomes the first to propose an earthquake early warning system, giving 6 sec.of warning.

In 1909 Dr. Frederick S. McKay (1874-1959) of Colo. Springs, Colo. discovers the concept of water fluoridation to prevent cavities. In 1967 the 20-year Evanston Fluoridation Study in Ill. shows that fluorides in the water supply reduce dental caries by 58%.

In 1909 Oliver P. Smith of St. Louis, Mo. invents the Mechanical Rabbit for greyhound racing.

In 1910-13 British mathematician-philosophers Bertrand Athur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell (1872-1970) and Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947) pub. Principia Mathematica, which attempts to reduce arithmetic to logic, founding the calculus of propositions and modern symbolic logic, becoming king locomotive of the county until Godel's Theorem derails them?

In 1910 Danish astronomer-chemist Ejnar Hertzsprung (1873-1967) and Am. astronomer Henry Norris Russell (1877-1957) play around the discovery of Am. astronomer Henrietta Swan Leavitt about Cepheid variables, along with the double stars in the Pleiades, and devise the Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram, which groups stars by absolute magnitude and spectral type, along with a theory of stellar evolution (1911-3) - skinny pants, you can shove it up your butt?

In 1910 Belgian attys. Paul Otlet (1868-1944) and Henri La Fontaine (1854-1943) found the Mundaneum to gather and classify all the world's knowledge using their Universal Decimal Classification based on the Dewey Decimal Classification System, which later leads to the Internet.

About 1910 French chemist Paul Sabatier (1854-1941) discovers the Sabatier Process (Reaction), the reaction of hydrogen with carbon dioxide at high temps (300C-400C) and high pressure in the presence of a nickel catalyst to produce methane and water, winning him the 1912 Nobel Chem. Prize.

On Jan. 13, 1910 Enrico Caruso (1873-1921) sings in the first experimental Radio Broadcast by vacuum tube inventor Lee De Forest in New York City.

In 1910 Sir John Murray (1841-1914) of Canada and Johan Hjort (1869-1948) of Norway undertake the first Deep-Sea Oceanographic Research Expedition in the Michael Sars.

In 1910 Hungarian-born Austrian Jewish pediatrician Bela Schick (1877-1967) develops the Schick Test for susceptibility to diphtheria. In 1928 he begins a massive 5-year campaign in conjunction with the Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. that virtually eliminates diphtheria in the U.S.; in 1928 it attacks 100K Americans and causes 10K deaths; the 85M brochures handed out are created by German-born artist Gerta Ries.

In 1910 Am. chemist William David Coolidge (1873-1975) of G.E. invents the tungsten coil filament light bulb. In 1913 he patents the Coolidge Tube for medical X-rays.

In 1910 Robert von Lieben (1878-1913) of Austria invents the Triode vacuum tube, the key to radio and TV.

In 1910 Am. roller-coaster designer John A. Miller (1872-1941) invents the Safety Chain Dog (Ratchet), which prevents cars from rolling backwards on the lift hill if the pull chain breaks, causing the clacking sound on wooden coasters. In 1919 he patents the Miller Under Friction Wheel (AKA Upstop Wheel), consisting of a wheel running under the track to keep roller-coaster cars from flying off, making exciting drops and turns possible.

The original Planet of the Apes without claiming copyright? In 1911 Piltdown Man, the "missing link" between humans and apes is finally discovered by amateur anthropologist Charles Dawson (1864-1916) in the 50K-y.-o. 10-ft. Piltdown Quarry in Lewes (near Uckfield), East Sussex, England, and dated to the Pliocene and labeled as "Eoranthropus", dated to 500K B.C.E.; oops, after 40+ years it is proved to be a hoax (jawbone of an ape no more than 50K y.o.) in 1953 after ending up in the Farmer's Museum in Cooperstown, N.Y. in 1948; meanwhile desperate anthropologists look to save face (see 1921).

On July 24, 1911 the Incan city of Machu Picchu is discovered by Honolulu, Hawaii-born Yale U. lecturer on South Am. history Hiram Bingham III (1875-1956) of Yale U.; too bad, he loots it of artifacts in 1912-15, causing a cent.-long dispute that is finally settled with their return in 2011.

In 1911 Swiss psychiatrist Paul Eugen Bleuler (1857-1939) ditches Freudian psychoanalysis in favor of organic causes of mental illness, coining the term "schizophrenia" for Gr. "schizein" + "phren" = "split mind" to replace dementia praecox.

In 1911 Polish chemist Casimir (Kazimierz) Funk (1884-1967) coins the term "vitamine" (changed to vitamin in 1920) after reading an article by Dutch physician Christiaan Eijkman (1858-1930) claiming that people who eat brown rice are less vulnerable to beriberi than those who eat white race, er, rice, causing him to isolate vitamin B1, which has an amine group, cogito ero sum; meanwhile English biochemist call-me-sir Frederick Gowland Hopkins (1861-1947) goes on to conduct experiments which discover other vitamins, gaining him and Eijkman the 1929 Nobel Med. Prize.

In 1911 Dutch physicist Heike Kamerlingh Onnes (1853-1926) discovers Superconductivity.

In 1911 after studying the fruit fly Drosophila, Am. biologist Thomas Hunt Morgan (1866-1945) (Doubting Thomas Hunts for More Gain?) of Columbia U. announces his theory of Genes (a word he coined in 1904), and how they are linearly arranged on the chromosome and can be mapped, winning the 1933 Nobel Med. Prize.

In 1911 Francis Peyton Rous (1879-1970) of the U.S. discovers a viral cause of cancer.

In 1911 English physicist Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937) ditches J.J. Thomson's Plum Pudding Model and proposes the Planetary Nuclear Model of the Atom, a small positively-charged nucleus containing most of the mass and orbited by electrons, like the Sun and planets; too bad, classical physics makes its existence impossible, since it would radiate electromagnetic energy until it runs down and the electrons spiral down to the center; John Nicholson of Cambridge U. applies Rutherford's model of the atom to spectra and suggests that quantum jumps take place between definite states corresponding to Walther Ritz's 1908 term values - can you spot what's wrong with this picture, God repeats himself? In 1913 Danish physicist Niels Bohr (1885-1962), who came to England in 1911 to study under J.J. Thomson and Ernest Rutherford uses quantum theory to modify Rutherford's planetary model of the atom in which electrons orbit the nucleus, requiring that the atom only exist in a discrete set of stationary states; it contradicts classical electromagnetic theory but predicts the spectrum of hydrogen, winning him the 1922 Nobel Physics Prize - so I'm loving it?

In 1911 Hugo Gernsback (1884-1967) pub. the article Ralph 124C41+ in Modern Electrics mag., which coins the term "science fiction" (sci-fi).

In the Feb. 1911 issue of Cosmopolitan, Thomas Edison boasts that he could make a 40K-page book 2 in. thick weighing 1 lb. by printing the pages on thin pieces of nickel metal.

In 1911 Am. physicist Robert Hutchings Goddard (1882-1945) of Clark U. in the U.S. patents the first vacuum tube able to amplify a signal.

In 1911 German chemists Fritz Haber (1868-1934) and Carl Bosch (1874-1940) develop the Haber-Bosch Process for synthesizing ammonia on an industrial scale from hydrogen and air, freeing the production of fertilizer and explosives from natural ammonia deposits such as sodium nitrate (calich) (which is monopolized by Chile), and averting global famine, winning Haber the 1918 Nobel Chem. Prize; too bad, brainy Jew Haber, who coulda been a contender stinks himself up by plunging into poison gas research, finding a way to turn science from good to bad - break out my quills I'm going to wax poetic?

In 1911 the Electric Self-Starter for the automobile is invented by GM engineer Charles Franklin Kettering (1876-1958) in Dayton, Ohio (home of the Wright Brothers and other inventors), based on his design of a mechanism for opening cash register drawers; the first is installed on Feb. 17, and he sells 8K of them to Cadillac, "the standard of the world"; within a few years they are standard equipment on all cars, and the days of the dangerous hand crank are over.

In 1911 Arthur Constantin Krebs of France invents elastomeric flexible coupling, AKA the Flector Joint, which is used in the power transmission for his Tracteur Chatillon-Panhard, a 4-wheel drive 4-wheel steering all-terrain truck, used as artillery tractors in WWI.

In 1911 the first parachute jump from an airplane is made by Grant Morton and/or Capt. Albert Berry; Italian inventor Pino invents the pilot or drogue chute, improving on Leonardo da Vinci's original 1495 design.

In 1912 Danish chemist Niels Bjerrum (1879-1958) pub. On the Infared Spectra of Gases showing that infared absoption by molecules is caused by uptake of rotational and vibrational energy in definite quanta, becoming the first correct application of quantum theory to interpretation of spectra.

In 1912 German-Am. anthropologist Franz Uri Boas (1858-1942) reports striking differences in cranial form between U.S.-born children and their Euro-born parents, showing that environment has a large effect on skull shape, shocking the fat-headed racist scientific world.

In 1912 Am. brain surgeon Harvey Williams Cushing (1869-1939) discovers an endocrinological syndrome caused by malfunction of the pituitary gland, which in 1943 is named Cushing's Syndrome.

In 1912 Dutch physicist Peter Joseph William Debye (1884-1966) of the U. of Zurich pub. the Debye Theory of Specific Heat of Solids, which modifies Einstein's theory to threat vibrations of the atomic lattice as phonons in a box instead of non-interacting quantum harmonic oscillators, becoming one of the first theoretical successes of quantum theory.

In 1912 English physicist William Henry Eccles (1875-1966) proposes that solar radiation is responsible for the difference in night and day radio wave propagation.

In 1912 Italian mathematical statistician Corrado Gini (1884-1965) pub. the paper "Variability and Mutability", defining the Gini Coefficient, which is later used as a measure of inequality of income or wealth distribution, as well as biodiversity, with a 0 value indicating a perfectly equal distribution, and a 1 value a perfectly unequal distribution (one individual has it all); too bad, Gini later stinks his name up by claiming to scientifically back up Fascism.

In 1912 Austrian-born Am. physicist Victor Francis Hess (1883-1964) discovers Cosmic Rays with a hot air balloon during a near-total eclipse, measuring rising radiation at rising altitudes despite the Moon blocking most of the Sun's visible radiation, winning him the 1936 Nobel Physics Prize; "The results of my observation are best explained by the assumption that a radiation of very great penetrating power enters our atmosphere from above."

In 1912 German Merck chemist Anton Kollisch (Köllisch) (1888-1916) synthesizes MDMA (Ecstasy) to stop abnormal bleeding; it is patented on May 16, 1914; its potential as a recreational drug is first publicized in 1978 by Russian-Am. chemist Alexander Theodore "Sasha" Shulgin (1925-) of UCB.

In 1912 German physicist Max von Laue (1879-1960) of the U. of Zurich discovers X-ray Diffraction, making it possible to directly observe the atomic structure of crystals, winning him the 1914 Nobel Physics Prize.

In 1912 French chemist Louis Camille Maillard (1878-1936) pub. the Maillard Reaction between the carbonyl group of sugar and the nucleophilic amino group of amino acid at 140C-165C that gives browned food a desirable flavor.

In 1912 Am. pharmacist Wilbur Lincoln Scoville (1865-1942) devises the Scoville Organoleptic Test and associated Scoville Scale to measure the hotness of chili peppers based on the amount of sugar water needed to dilute away the heat.

In 1912 English radiochemist Frederick Soddy (1877-1956) of the U. of Glasgow coins the term "isotope".

In 1912 German geophysicist Alfred Lothar Wegener (1880-1930) pub. The Origin of Continents and Oceans (Die Entstehung der Kontinente und Ozeane); proposes the theories of plate tectonics and continental drift, and the supercontinent Pangaea - Brazil fits neatly into the Gulf of Guinea in W Africa, so post fit ergo propter fit?

In 1912 Frederick Gardner Cottrell (1877-1948) of the U.S. Bureau of Mines invents the Cottrell Electrostatic Precipitator for removing suspended matter from gases using 50K-75K volts DC.

In 1912 Jason Christian Ellehammer (1871-1946) of Denmak invents the Ellehammer Helicopter, the first helicopter capable of flight, based on C. Renard's articulated rotor blade of 1904 and G.A. Crocco's cyclic pitch control of 1906.

In 1912 the German govt. patents PETN (Pentaerythritol tetranitrate) explosive, the least stable of common military explosives, which lasts longer in storage.

In 1912 German publisher Reclams Universal-Bibliotheck introduces book vending machines in Germany.

In 1912 Franz Reichelt dies after jumping off the first deck (60m) Eiffel Tower in Paris to test his parachute overcoat.

In 1913 German physical chemist Max Ernst August Bodenstein (1871-1942) formulates the concept of the chemical chain reaction - that is what makes this country dynamic?

In 1913 after the spectrum of radiation from the Sun is found to be blocked 97%-99% at 200nm-315nm in the ultraviolet end, French physicists Maurice Paul Auguste Charles Fabry (1867-1945) and